cover of episode The Divorce Expert: Slippage Is Tearing Marriages Apart! If Kids Are Your Top Priority & You Spot This You’ll Divorce In 1-3 Years!

The Divorce Expert: Slippage Is Tearing Marriages Apart! If Kids Are Your Top Priority & You Spot This You’ll Divorce In 1-3 Years!

2024/10/28
logo of podcast The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

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James Sexton: 本期节目中,James Sexton律师探讨了导致婚姻破裂的常见原因,特别是逐渐的疏离(slippage)。他认为,大多数婚姻的结束并非源于突发事件,而是日积月累的小问题最终导致关系破裂。他强调了坦诚沟通的重要性,建议夫妻双方定期进行深入交流,及时解决问题,避免积怨。他还分享了他职业生涯中遇到的案例,以及他从临终病人身上学到的经验教训,例如珍惜当下、关注亲情和回忆美好时光的重要性。他认为,人生是一场无法取胜的游戏,重要的是享受过程,接纳生活中的不确定性。他建议人们直面困难,采取正确的行动,并学会哀悼过去,迎接未来。他还谈到了婚姻与爱情的关系,以及他对婚姻制度的看法,他认为婚姻并非爱情的保障,反而可能带来风险。他建议人们在结婚前进行充分的沟通和计划,并对婚姻抱有现实的预期。他还谈到了性生活在婚姻中的重要性,以及如何避免因性生活问题导致婚姻破裂。最后,他给出了避免婚姻破裂的建议:关注自我、关注伴侣,并关注彼此之间的关系,保持坦诚沟通,并直面困难。 Steven Bartlett: Steven Bartlett作为主持人,引导James Sexton律师分享了他的观点,并提出了许多发人深省的问题。他与James Sexton律师就婚姻、爱情、离婚、死亡等话题进行了深入探讨,并分享了他自己的经验和看法。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why do most marriages end in divorce?

Most marriages end in divorce due to 'slippage,' where small, unaddressed issues accumulate over time, leading to significant relationship deterioration.

What is the core message James Sexton would give to everyone about relationships?

The core message is that the hard thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same. People should focus on acknowledging and addressing issues promptly rather than avoiding them.

Why did James Sexton choose to write his thesis on the subject of death?

Sexton chose to write his thesis on death because he grew up in an environment where death was a constant presence due to his mother's rare cancer. This experience made him familiar with the concept of mortality and its inevitability.

How does James Sexton view life and its purpose?

Sexton views life as a game that can't be won, where the only certainties are birth and death. He believes that while love and relationships are risky, they are also necessary and beautiful parts of life.

What role does acceptance play in dealing with relationship endings?

Acceptance involves acknowledging the reality of the situation and softening one's resistance to it. It's about understanding that every ending is a beginning of something new and embracing the transition.

Why do people struggle with uncertainty in life?

People struggle with uncertainty because it is mentally taxing and uncomfortable. They prefer knowing outcomes, even if the certainty is negative, as it provides a sense of control and predictability.

What is James Sexton's most controversial opinion?

Sexton's most controversial opinion is that having children should not be the greatest accomplishment or the most important thing in a person's life. He believes there should be a higher purpose beyond mere reproduction.

Chapters
James Sexton discusses the various reasons people contact him, from specific legal advice to broader life questions, after his podcast appearances.
  • Exponential increase in messages after podcast appearances.
  • Broad range of topics from relationship issues to personal reflections on life and death.

Shownotes Transcript

When ‘I do’ becomes ‘I’m done’, world-renowned divorce lawyer James Sexton reveals why most marriages end and how to spot early warning signs  

 James Sexton is America’s top divorce lawyer and author of the bestselling marriage and relationship advice book, 'How to Stay in Love: Practical Wisdom from an Unexpected Source'.

In this conversation, James and Steven discuss topics such as, the link between sex and divorce, why 86% of people remarry after a divorce, the number one sign of divorce, and the best way to avoid a divorce. 

00:00 Intro

01:37 What Do People Say When They Reach Out To You?  

03:28 James' One Message To The World  

05:55 Why You Can't Hide From Your Problems  

10:43 The Case That Broke James' Heart  

18:09 What Type Of Cases Would You Refuse?  

20:56 Is It Better To Be The One Hurt In A Breakup?  

23:17 Why People Want Control In A Breakup  

26:53 Understanding Heartbreak  

32:09 Is Life Winnable?  

37:17 James' Thesis On Death And His Mum's Cancer  

48:59 Lessons Learned From People On Their Deathbeds  

53:00 Are We Just Products Of Our Imagination?  

56:59 Can Acceptance Heal Suffering?  

01:03:31 Why Humans Struggle With Uncertainty  

01:06:29 Have You Met Anyone Who Planned To Divorce?  

01:09:56 How Dating Length Impacts Marriage Success  

01:11:50 Why Do People Fall Out Of Love?  

01:19:32 Do Men Struggle To Open Up?  

01:20:32 Can 90 Minutes A Week Save A Relationship?  

01:23:04 Happy Wife, Happy Life – Is It True?  

01:29:55 Why Do Conversations About Sex Go Wrong?  

01:32:12 Is Lack Of Intimacy A Major Cause Of Divorce?  

01:34:23 Is Porn Causing More Relationship Issues?  

01:37:52 Does Marriage Equal Love?  

01:42:29 Who Is The Wedding Really For?  

01:45:00 Do Celebrities Fake Their Relationships?  

01:46:33 Are Perfect Relationships Just A Facade?  

01:54:24 The Moment I Realized The "Magic" Was Gone  

01:57:56 How Do Happy Couples Argue?  

01:59:32 Will James Remarry?  

02:01:45 Is Getting Married A Mistake?  

02:04:31 Is Marriage Good For Kids?  

02:06:55 How To Bring Up A Prenup  

02:10:37 Embracing Imperfections In Relationships  

02:17:14 Divorce And Child Support Explained  

02:22:18 Why Do People Divorce Over Money?  

02:24:03 Have You Helped Wealthy People Who Went Broke?  

02:32:27 One Tip To Avoid Divorce  

02:34:53 Final Question

Follow James:

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Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/Sq0gV910YNb

Spotify: You can purchase James’ book, ‘How to Stay in Love: Practical Wisdom from an Unexpected Source’, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/HcvqHPf1YNb

Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/DOACEpisodes

My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now - https://g2ul0.app.link/DOACBook

You can purchase the The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards: Second Edition, here: https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb

Follow me:

https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb

Get your hands on the brand new Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards here: https://appurl.io/iUUJeYn25v)

**Shopify - **http://shopify.com/bartlett)