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And we are back. Back. Hi, Jake. Thoughts on that. I don't know what's going on. What's that? You've got a gorilla picture in your office? What?
Now, what are you in? Are you in your half dojo, half office? What is this? Thank you for calling it a half dojo. Answer the stupid question. Well, you said a buzzword. Is it your dojo office?
Thank you for calling it a doge office. Is that what we have? We have like a split-see situation? No, this is the office. This is the office. It's just slow coming together. This is the podcast office. This happened because of my relationship with you, Garfman. Remember at the beginning of the show, I was always in different rooms? Yes. Closets, I would think, is a better term for you. All right.
I think one time you were at an event, if I'm not mistaken. It was hot. All right, let's talk about the 100th episode. So we've got a 100th episode coming up. It's a big one. We are introducing Kevin's studio. Kevin, can you tell us what is planned for 100? It better be big, Kevin. We tried it last time. Yes, let's see what we got.
We have 90 incredible minutes of calls, maybe some surprise follow-ups. I have some surprises in the works that I'm working on right now I'm very excited about. So you have surprises to us as well? Yes. I'm not telling you guys. Should Gareth and I each come up with two surprises? I would love that. Okay. Okay. Okay.
We got an hour and a half of calls. And then afterward, we are doing a Q&A just for people on the live stream. So the calls are going to be the 100th episode. And then the Q&A that we're doing is going to be just on the Patreon as well. And so what are just people on the main feed? You're a Spotify. You're an Apple. So you're just on the 100th episode. You're seeing the...
We're going to give an extra long episode. Yep, you're good. There'll be some trims in that one, the stuff that doesn't fully work, but there'll be people for Patreon. They'll see the stuff that gets cut out. Are we ready to announce the date of that? Yes, let's do it. It is Thursday, July 25th at 5 p.m. Pacific time. That's when we're doing the live stream of the 100th episode. So live Patreon 100th episode. Yeah.
Sign up for our Patreon and you can watch the live 100th episode. We also have a ton of stuff in there as well. If you watch more is coming and
And there's also, all for that, there'll be a lot of everything behind the scenes you'll see. But for also the main feed people who are not Patreon people, you are going to still get the same hundreds episode, which we view as very special. It'll be the first time we'll do the intro live. We'll do it while it's happening. Then we'll just start taking callers. You will see what happens on the live one, the main one too. Maybe we won't do a lot of trims, but if we did one...
You know, we just do the hour and a half. And if there's, if it's sloppy, it's like, it's live to tape. It's live to tape. Yeah. Cause a lot of times we will do some trims. We'll cut some stuff up. We'll just see what happens. Garfman, will you be drinking that evening? Yes. Yes. I will make sure to have, yes, I will not be driving, but I will be drinking. Yeah. You know what we could do on a night like that? Oh, also we have discussed, uh,
You don't do drugs anymore, do you? My generation does, yeah. What's your generation? How old are you, for real? I'm very curious. I know you do a lot of skin care and hair stuff. I'm a Xenial. That makes you look younger. I'm a Xenial. How old are you? Don't say it without further ado. 31. How old are you? 31 years old. 32. I'm almost 33. I'm almost 33.
We became friends 20 years ago. Yeah, I was 13. I was nearly 40 when we became friends. Remember how angry my parents got when you'd come hang out with me? Yes. Dude, you're saying I'm a criminal for being your friend. Not a criminal, but certainly an old weirdo.
I'll agree with that. Even though we're the same age. Our dynamic is very similar to the neighbor and Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. You're that old weird neighbor. And I'm the kid. By the way, that's the new Robert and Barbara. The old guy shoveling in Macaulay. Because you're always home alone. Because I was terrified of you for most of the movie. But at the end of the day, I kind of need you.
All right, so listen, join us for our 100th. We're very, very excited. And thank you, everybody, who's come along with us on the 100 and continue to tell people. It helps us out, but we're very excited. So enjoy this frickin' episode without we're all laughing further ado. Hello? Hi there. Let's party. Welcome to We're Here to Help. You're on with Jake. You're on with Gareth.
You got a problem? We got to solve them. Hi. Where are you calling from? I'm pumped to be here. Wait, did Gareth just come up with a new Gareth catchphrase? What? You got a problem? We're here to solve it. You got a problem? We're here to solve them. I think that might be the new don't look it up for a while now. Wow. You're trying to just get me off of don't look it up. I'm trying. The people love it.
Most people love it. Jake's over it. I just don't. I don't get it. It's true. Where are you calling from? I like movement, Gareth. I like change. I'm calling from Denver. Denver. The best. What's your name? Yeah. I missed you, Gareth. You got to come back. I am. Don't worry. I got something. Tell me what happened between you guys. Jake, I don't know what happened. I missed you, Gareth. You got to come back. I missed you. I got something in there. Yeah, yeah. He didn't show up for our date. Ooh. Ooh.
That's the problem. I'm just kidding. I'm going to be in trouble. I like this call. How old are you, roughly? 28. Way too young for Gareth.
I'm a kid. Would you stop? Two decades too young. I'm a punk kid. You told me on your online profile that you're 32. I am. In my heart, I am. In my heart, I am 32. When I go to the doctor, he goes, what? Get out of here. That's what happens when I go to my doctor. Different tone, though, the way he's saying it. No. Get out of here. Get out of here. Nobody said take your pants off.
get out of here. We have to ask you to do that. All right, doctor, finish what you started. And a bunch of tongue depressors fall out of my pocket. Okay. So you're Denver, you're from Denver, you're 28. And what name, what's your name? What are we calling you? My name is Jenica. Jenica. Sure. Is that a real one? Yeah. Yeah. Real name. I like a real one. Uh, all right. What's going on? What can we help you with? Um, so I'm a personal chef here in Denver. Um,
Yeah, it's fun. I like it a lot. But the problem I've run into is I can't remember my recipes at all. I'm kind of just making everything up as I go for. I mean, I have a lot of regulars and I can't repeat them. Smoke a lot of pot, Jenica? No, I don't. That would be a nice excuse, though. What happens? So you just you improvise a recipe and then you can't remember it?
Exactly. Yeah. And I've been doing that from the start. I've been a personal chef for four years, but cooking for about 10. And that's kind of how I've always done it. And it wasn't a problem until I started getting regulars. And now they want me to repeat things. This is easy for me. You're an artist. You're not. This isn't fucking hotel art.
You're not going, you're a real artist. And they go, can I get that mac and cheese? He goes, you want that again? Go to TGIFs. You want Jennica's work? Sit your fucking ass down. Give me 20 minutes in the front of the stove. I'll put something in front of you. But I'm not going to go three ounces of this, two ounces of that. I'm not taking you to Flavortown, bitch. Wow. So every ask for a snowflake. Jake got aggressive, obviously. I love Flavortown. Me too.
Let me ask you this. Have you ever had a situation where you've tried to recreate and the person's been like, this is not what I asked for? Yeah, it's kind of a joke, but now it's starting to get uncomfortable because they'll be like, oh, wow, this dinner was so good. Can you repeat? Oh, wait, you won't be able to repeat it because you don't know what you did tonight. Right. Yeah, and then I'll try it. You must be a great cook for them to be comfortable with you not being able to hit the same target. Yeah.
I have an idea. I think I'm not bad. Yeah, I got an idea too. And writing it down, if your idea is writing it down, I have thought of that. And I cook three times longer. No, I have a different idea. Okay. So I used to work in the restaurant game.
And in the restaurant game, there's a bunch of people, you know, doing a bunch of jobs. You got certain people just cutting the carrots, other people setting the table, what have you. But a lot of people are trying to work their way up to some position. And there's probably a lot of people in Denver who are very interested in being a personal chef.
They just don't know the path to how to do that. So I would find an apprentice, AKA an intern. And what their job to do is to watch you while you're doing it, assist you and write down what you're doing. And at the end of the night, so when you're going, they go, what is that? And you go, what? And they go, how many cups of salt? And you go, a cup. They write it down. So in the end-
A very dehydrated certain person. LAUGHTER
Yeah, I mean, as you can tell, I go to Flavortown. I don't cook myself. Cup of salt. I was going to say two, and then I felt like that was insane. That is insane. That, I believe, is death. Yeah, that's too far. Yeah, you ate plenty. Apparently one cup of salt's insane. That's a lot. But the idea of an intern, the idea of an apprentice writing down, because I think where we're going to have to get, Jenica, is we've got to write these down. But you can't write and cook because you're Jackson Pollock.
You're just doing paint on a wall. You can't stop the flow. It's going to taste terrible. What do you think of that one? So I did have an assistant for a while and for kind of the same reason. I was like, I need someone to kind of watch my back and kind of watch what I'm doing because I'm a little bit of a shit show sometimes. Like the food's good, but everything behind the scenes is kind of a disaster. So you're kind of here to ground me.
And she ended up being crazier than me and trying to fire her. And so now I'm kind of scared of firing an assistant after that experience because she was a lot. Yeah, I get that. Are you making, but I guess I could try again. Are you making good money doing this? Um, I'm starting to, I, I had like major imposter syndrome when I started. And so my prices were very low when I started. And now I'm finally three years in and,
She doesn't save any of the money, though. She throws it right out the window on her way home. Yeah. Whatever they pay me in cash, I don't know. When I start driving, I just throw it out the window. I don't know how much I got. I don't know what I got paid. I don't know what I cooked. You never know how much I have. I don't have a place to live. I'm just driving circles. Well, I started in L.A., and I was such a people pleaser there because I worked for a company that had personal chefs and chefs.
They had a strict budget for us. And sometimes I would go over budget and just pay out of my own pocket. That's how bad I was. By the way, you're the best. You're the best. I was like, I just want them to have good food. Do you try to promote yourself through social media and shit?
Yeah, that's how I started. I got a lot of people through Instagram when I started. Now I'm pretty bad about it. Well, what if we did a version of this? Because I, a lot of times, will see a recipe online and I'll be like, oh, that's great. And I'll just click the link and someone will show a video that is literally like 90 seconds of how they made something.
So what if you did a version where you kind of make a video that helps promote you, but also is it shows you how much you're using in each recipe and you could just go back and watch your shit and be like, oh yeah, I do like a tablespoon of paprika here. And that might be a way to lock it in. That's kind of what I was leaning towards actually was having... That's my idea. So I'm not sharing that. Unfortunately, I didn't know you had that idea. Go ahead.
We talked about it. Don't you remember? Jenica. Gareth, what did you do in Denver? Did you forget? I don't remember. Are you Jenica the chef but with sacks? I don't remember. I did something great. She said, come back. I don't remember what I did in the sack. And that's when I'd say, get an intern. Have somebody write it down. What was I doing here? You said I was wonderful. I had no idea.
I thought about strapping a camera to, like, my chest with a GoPro when I'm cooking at people's houses. Bingo. But I just feel like that would kind of freak them out in their own house. It would. Well, I think what you would want to do, the reason why I asked about the money is because what I would do is I would take, like, a day.
or two days and just whip together some of your best recipes to throw them online, have someone film them, have someone edit them and literally have them just cut down to like 90 seconds. And then you can just get a refresher on your top 10 or 15 and you just have them for you for now, but then you could start posting them over time, help promote you. Can I ask a question about that? Cause that is a good solution, but can I ask a question, Jenna is part of it when you're cooking, you're improvising.
Yes, it's pretty much all on the spot. It's kind of a nervous habit. But she's an improviser. Yes, but when you're cooking something, part of the pain in the ass is just like...
I mean, what she needs is she needs to kind of get them locked into her memory. If while she's doing this, you can throw on her 90 second recipe, put in one air pod and just go, oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. She'll start to lock some of these in just at least for like the top 10 or 15 that you need to recreate. But because I do think while you're trying. But Gareth, you're trying to get her to create a set.
And I think she is more of like a true, she gets in the kitchen and she needs to get inspired. And if they go, we want lamb chops, I don't think she wants to go like, here's the nine ways to make a lamb chop. Yeah. I mean, I could use that as a base. That's kind of what I mean. I think it's more like,
I think if it's like, I think it's all well and good. Like you're talented enough where people are going like, oh, you're whatever. If you could recreate it, but that'd be great. But I think in your business, you probably do want to be able to offer consistency. So like, it is kind of like a funny quirk, but I do think you also are like, people are probably gonna be like, yeah, that was not what we want. Like there was no saffron in there or whatever. So this is a way to maybe just edge you in that direction a little bit, like get you a little bit closer to that.
and then you can have the freedom to experiment and shit
but it's also good social. It's good promotion too. Because a lot of times you see this food porn and you go, you click on it and you go, Oh fuck, I want to make that. Yeah. So I know I regret not getting into the Instagram game earlier. Cause those are pretty cool. Start whenever it doesn't matter. We started a podcast 40 years after podcasts. Seriously. That's my favorite now. So I've got a question for you. How many dishes would you consider are your base?
OK, but the other problem is I rarely repeat. It's just all over the board. Every cuisine, because every client I have is so different and what they like. So that's why a lot of this improvising is happening is because some like really spicy food, some like this type of cuisine, some want to be really healthy. You know, how many clients do you have?
I have seven regulars a week and then seven regular solid business. Well, why don't you lock in? Would you say they all have a favorite?
I'm not really. They kind of like having variation. And then, yeah, every once in a while they'll love something and they want me to make it again. So that's kind of the problem is when that happens. So why don't you do this? Why don't you after you cook something that someone loves? Why don't you right away write down what you think you did and then you recreate it through a video? You can use that for some social media shit. And that's a way to sort of have a version of it locked in.
Like, I think you can, I think you can kind of get something out of this as well as locking in. You know what I really think, Gareth, is we're trying to put a bandaid over an ax wound because part of it is every client, she changes depending on their mood. So she's intuitive. You're an emotional chef. You're feeling what's happening in the moment. You're going with your gut instinct. You are, if it's acting, there are certain actors like this, and these are my favorite. Yeah.
you're pretty memorized, but you're also in the moment. Whatever is kind of happening, you're reading the scene. But that's like saying to somebody, remember how you improvised the other day? Can you do that exactly the same? And the answer to that is no. But the difference is they have an editor. Miles Davis had to go into a recording studio and have him...
It's different when you're talking about food because you have a final product that is like, you can be like, this is crazy. What happened? But it's not crazy. Jenica is a great chef. My,
Miles Davis, whatever he's going to do on that trumpet, you're going to leave that cool club in the village and go miles did miles. But if you go, can you do exactly what you did? December 14th, 1962, you go, don't you know it's miles Davis. Yeah. But then you go here, I'll play it for you right here in a 90 second clip. This is what you did. Well, but she's calling because this is a problem. That's fair. She's calling because she wants help getting consistent. So Jenica, what's happened on this call is we've become the two sides of your brain. Yes. So I,
I am the part of your brain. We're making you more confused because we've entered inside of your headspace. This call is not really happening. This is a dream you're having. This isn't real life. This is just inside your head. You knew the call. When you wake up tomorrow, you're going to call in and we're going to be doing shark tank jokes about owning your business. But this is just a dream. And in this dream, I'm part of your subconscious that thinks,
you're doing you and it's working and Gareth is saying, let's have a plan. So now you take the wheel a little bit and say, what do you specifically really want? Is it you want to devise a plan to organize this? Or are you just calling to say, this is the issue. Is there a way out?
Because I like doing it the way I do, but it's a bad feeling when it's like a fancy client and they're looking at me like, why can't you repeat that dish? You know what I mean? It just feels unprofessional at this point. It was cute the first couple of years. And now it's like, all right, get your shit together and
That's kind of what I think. Look, I think you're going to have the freedom to fuck around always. But I think what you need to do is to lock into some of this stuff. You know, you just have to play within your system and you have been able to improvise your way around and it's gone great. It's true. But I do think
Why not? Like literally for yourself, just make 10 or 15 things, record them, have them cut down. It'll help promote your shit. But it also is a way for you to just go. I can return basically to something that is a winner and you can build out from there. Let me pitch to you, Gareth. OK, Joe says the other side of Jenica, because as you're saying that, I'm starting to fucking sweat. OK, yeah.
Rather than do 10 to 15, can we start with three dishes? Sure. So, Jenica, can we pick three of your main dishes or desserts and lock those in and make little videos of them? Do a live stream. Just put it. It doesn't have to be a 90 second edited thing with some like cool song to it. Just film it. Have it fucking even if you don't put it online. If you did three, what would those three dishes be?
There'd probably be some sort of curry in there. Some sort of, no, no, it's some sort of has to fade away. It's a specific problem. Some sort of is the problem. Yeah. It's, I don't know. It's going to be, it's going to be, it's going to be some sort of thing, but definitely not a couple of salt. An Indian dish that I'll figure out at a later time. Uh, and then it's going to be some sort of a dessert dependent on the client. Uh,
So you're going to do three specific dishes and then you're going to rewatch that and write down all the ingredients for it. Is that correct? Yeah. We're, we're asked, this is just a dream. Tomorrow morning, you're going to call in the show and have a different call. This is just a weird dream. So is this, if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. This is a dream. If you want to have sex with Brad Pitt, bring him in.
You're going to write it down after the video you said? No, I'm saying I don't think I need to. I think making the video alone should be enough. Are you going to watch the video?
Oh, yeah, I will. I think what you need to do is memorize some of your recipes and you could either write them down and you could like make a little cookbook for yourself or something like that. But you do need to lock them in. If you're going to film yourself and not watch it, there's no point in filming yourself. You kind of need to like.
I mean, again, just based off of what you're saying, I have we're not in the fucking culinary world at all. So what the fuck do we know? But I understand that if someone ordered a specific service and you came over and it was not what they asked for them being like, I might not use this person again. So I think you just at least need to for your clients just start to know what they like. And I think, yeah, I do think there's a way you can promote yourself while doing that.
Whether it is doing a live stream or it is just filming yourself and having someone cut it just for you. Whatever it is, something like that. But, you know, if you want to go out there and fucking be Miles Davis, then go. They want to curry. Who the fuck knows what they're going to get? No, I like the video idea. Will you send it to us? Yes. And I have one other pitch. It's party. There's these glasses that are Ray-Ban glasses that record.
Would that be weird if I was wearing those? No, those are great. Now, if you wore a GoPro on your forehead, you're a goofball. That's what I mean. Yeah. But if you just had at least look like glasses, they don't look like that's perfect. And guess what? If they go, if somebody walks in and goes like, I don't like your glasses while you're cooking. That's a weird person.
You're allowed to wear what you want while you cook. Now, even if you did a GoPro, it's fine, but it would just be a little bit like how much of my house you fill in. I also kind of like the idea we could, you could get again, I'm not trying to like, I'm like in my mid thirties. So I can't pitch like, you know, how, how, huh? I,
I can't pitch. You're over a decade over. I can't mid 30. No, I'm not relaxed over the Phillies in his mid 30s. Gareth was born in the 70s. I know that is a fact. Jake.
Gareth was in his 20s when cell phones came and went like, these things suck. Oh my God. This is not about me and it's not, we're having fun. It was my middle school present. Okay, we're all having a laugh here, but I am definitely, I play younger and that's great. What I was going to say is- No, you play with younger and I think it's weird. The social media aspect of this can be retained forever.
Because you could do like POV chef videos. Agreed. You could do like you're the POV cook or something like that. You could film these. You could store it and you could have that fucking cut together and use that online. You're exactly right. So I think where we're really at, Jenica, is do the funky glasses for sure. Maybe that's even better than doing it at home because for some reason I don't think that's going to like
actually work the way we hope it is. But if you go to a place and you store them all, even if you don't do the promotion, and then somebody goes, hey, that chicken curry thing was delicious. You go...
I know what video it is. I just got to watch it. I'll do that again beforehand. And you just store all those things and just make sure you label them because what you don't want to have happen is you haven't labeled them. You're not going to label them. We can already tell you're not the kind of person who's going to give these files labels. You caught me. Jenica, you have to label them because you can't then go... I'll label them. You can't go...
They wanted me to make something that was there three months ago. I have like 100,000 videos I'll never... Just label them and date them. The date and what you made. Get a hard drive. Order a hard drive. Get it. This is easy.
label them you have them are you now gareth i don't know if you know 2024 put it on www.the internet.hotmail you guys are having fun but i am a child the glare from the your bald spot is shining in my eyes old man i am a child gareth likes pickleball uh not as much as jake
Because he says, it's good for my knees and I get to be active with my friends. I'm sorry that I love low-impact socializing. Was jujitsu too hardcore for you, Gareth? Oh, yes! Jenica! I can't believe I'm trying to help you. Yes, Jenica! And also, Jenica, it's way too hard for my body. It's way too hard. Yeah, also, he...
I want to go on a cruise. Jenica, may I remind you that he hurt his back stretching. Not once. A lot of times. Jenica, we've got to get off this. He has a little tackle dummy in his fake locker room. He has a little porn set in his garage with a little tackle dummy. See how defensive he gets? Old guys are the worst. I know. Bye, Jenica. You're the best. Bye. Have a good one. This year, Dell Technologies' back-to-school event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.
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Hello. Hi. What's good? What? Wow. That's our first. We'll tell you what's good. This show. Welcome to We're Here to Help, America's number one podcast. Can we get your name, age and where you're calling from, please? Yeah. My name is Joelle. I'm 24 and I'm calling from Denver, Colorado. Oh, great. Great city. All right, Joelle, why don't you just
Hop in. What's going on? Get right into it. Sure thing. So I hooked up with my neighbor in the hopes of a good old friends with benefits situation. Great. And it was all good. I'll chill for a minute. And then it or more so he got weird. Only hooked up the one time. However...
He's consistently, like maybe once a week, sent me unsolicited nudes. What? Mm-hmm. Full body? Full body or just the area? Like are we seeing ankles and ears, Jolie? Yes, yes. Wow, interesting choice. Okay, what are we calling this guy? Let's call him Dave. Dave. So Dave is sending you ankles to ear, full body nudes,
Randomly. You look in your phone, there it is. I'm sorry, I have to jump in, caller. I apologize. I've been getting a lot of comments on the video that people think I don't have ears. They think my hair covers my ears. There's been comments that are like, it's so cool. Kevin's getting into podcasting despite not having ears. So just for the video of yours, I am showing you, this is my left ear.
And this is my right ear. He just got them done. Hold on, Kevin. Can we go back to the caller, please, sir? You are. Back to you, caller.
That was your best Kevin moment of 80 episodes. That was really good. I love it. Okay, back to you. So you hooked up with Dave and can you walk us through that night of the hookup? What happened? Yeah. So the night that it happened, essentially just sent a, what are you up to text? And he came over. I did. Yeah. That's cool.
Um, I've been driving the boat. Um, and, and so we, we hooked up and it was a fun time and that was that. And we saw each other for neighbors a couple of times and he's a little awkward, but it was fine. Um, but as time has gone on, it is increasingly got strange. Respect. So what happens before we move forward, Garth? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No. Well, I think maybe to what you're going to say, like,
How was the hookup? Because I'm just trying to see if there's a connection to maybe this wasn't the best. But it doesn't just happen by the nudes. But did anything weird happen? Yeah. How was Dave? It was fine. It was fine. Nothing...
Nothing to write home about, but fun time. And you were home. Did you guys go all the way? Was it sex? Was it just goofing around? What happened here? How far did we get? It was sex. Goofing around is a great way to refer to Annie Hooker, obviously. Were you guys just on top of each other, kind of goofing around a little bit? Goofing around is very clearly 69, Gary.
I love, you know I love a goof around. Yeah. I'd love to go just goof around with some people tonight. So before sex, do you want to goof around a little bit? Yeah, six minutes of goofing around, three minutes of sex. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I need to call it goof around. Four plays goofing around. Those numbers...
Those numbers are great. Those are great numbers. Six minutes of Goofy Brown. Three minutes of sex. So back to you for a second. So you reached out to him. You liked him. What did you like about him at first? What started it? Or was he just a good looking guy?
Good looking guy and our apartments face directly into each other. So I was always interested in him. We met at the dog park, our dogs, their buddies. So this was kind of a romantic comedy build. And then the night happened and the movie ended in the middle of the second act. Yeah. Well, there is some weird stuff that went down before the lead up. Please go on.
Like there was a almost threesome and then he wanted to have sex with my friend who was sleeping or no, he wanted to have sex with me with my friend who was sleeping next to me. And that didn't happen because that's weird. Do you understand what happened there?
I think I do, but I'd rather not. He wanted to hook up with you with your friend sleeping. So is it safe to say he's just kind of a weirdo? He wanted to hook up with you with your friend was sleeping next to you. That is in addition to the threesome or that is what you're calling the three. That would be called a quiet three.
Yeah. Goofing around is what it is. Very, very quiet. But like the pitch on that is wild because it's like want to have really slow moving, quiet sex. Yeah, I don't. That's like Mormon porking. I don't like that. I don't. I don't. So he pitched to you the first time you hook up, want to do it as if we're not doing it because we don't want to wake somebody up. And you said not interested, but still interested in the night.
He pitched the threesome first and my friend was sleeping and I had only hung out with this friend two times before this. And then he was like, well, why don't we just have sex? I'm like, that's.
weird after that and then eventually a couple days later i'm just let's just have sex and then yeah okay when if we're rating it out of 10 it might seem like this is for nothing but sometimes we mine these fields and a little bit of gold comes out or we get our answer if you were to rate the night of sex with dave out of 10 are we talking a seven five
I'd say seven. Wow. Okay. That's tease. These three guys would be happy at a seven. Oh, boy. I'll tell you what. No, here's the Garf Man and JJ. We would be wagging about a seven. Seven's Everest. Especially with six minutes of goofing around. I mean, for a seven, that's five minutes of goofing around two minutes a second.
The six and three is a 10. So the two different POVs of like, it was nothing to write home about. It was only a seven. If someone told me I'm a seven, I'm writing to everyone I know. I'm for sure writing home. I'm being like, use my real name on this. So, oh God. Okay. So, so now, so now things are awkward and he just keeps sending you nudes.
And see, this is why hooking up with someone, it's high stakes if you hook up with someone that close to you in proximity. Don't shit me. Oh, yeah. But as I've said, I will if it's on a hotel. But it is weird. So why don't you say what your question is just so we know clearly. I guess the other aspect to this is I work in hospice. Oh, wow.
this man does not work. And oftentimes the photos are coming through at like mid-afternoon. Like there was one that came through while I was sitting bedside with somebody dying and their family while getting them admitted. Holy turn on the story. Yes, yes, yes. Dave, your timing is terrible. Awful. Yeah. So I guess my question is...
Do I just continue to let this play out? No. Or how should I put it to an end? I think we, first of all, we have to end it. You can't be getting unsolicited, unwanted nude pics. It's out of control. It's simply out of control. Outside of the job. We gotta end this. Even if it wasn't a job. Yeah. The job part to me is almost irrelevant because it's like, it could be a good scapegoat, but it's like, you could have your phone in your pocket. Yeah.
The issue is that you live close to him. If he just lived on another area, who gives a shit? Yeah, you can just kind of deal with it, block his number, whatever. I think you need to probably try to...
do something to stop it? Question. Well, that's why she's calling. We should, we're going to do something. We're not reading her. We're not reading her diary entry. She's calling into, I think we're just some, this is just, we're figuring it out. Yeah. We're figuring it out. Maybe not. Friends chatting. Friends.
I got a new one goofing around. 6'3", goof around. So I got a question for you. So after the sex, what do you think Dave felt? Was Dave thinking that's a 10 out of 10? Is he thinking this is the beginning of a little love story between me and this lady? Where do you think his head was? Or is he just sending you pics going, let's do that again. Maybe we can have sex while someone's sleeping near us. Where do you think he's at? You know, really hard to get a read on that. He had inquired about...
about a round two however never took any action on it he also said it was fun it was a good time but it's otherwise just been just been the nudes when he inquired about it what was your reaction
Um, I had actually attempted to initiate round two multiple times and he is not, not, I don't want to say not about it, but had an excuse each time. He called in and said four out of 10.
This is very interesting. Cause you, cause you keep telling us new stuff later in the game. Okay. So, so essentially you were down to do it again. She wanted to, he kind of avoided that. So it's almost like he, his thing is just sending nudes. First of all, he sounds like a weirdo. He likes to have sex around people sleeping and would rather not have sex with you and just send you pics. Yeah. For starters, he's a weirdo. Uh,
How long ago did this happen? Good question. A couple weeks ago. Okay. So this is, and how many, and when he sent the first dick pic, what was your response? Oh gosh. Be honest, please. Don't tell us in two minutes what really happened. I played into it. You played into it? Yeah. How do you play into it? Because my thought was he's sending me a picture. So this might lead to sex again. Sex.
But then I didn't. So what'd you do? Um, I, I mean, I think I hyped him up essentially or inquired about whatever the fuck. You got your phone on you. Oh boy. Yes. No, I'm not asking. I, we can't look at these, but you, you can read what you wrote back. Right.
I can. Will you just read? Will you read the correspondence? It might take me a minute. Okay, we can fast forward to the day there. This is tough. It's tough also because he doesn't have a job, so he's just sitting there. So he's able to keep track of what you're doing. This is also, I think you're going in a normal route. I think she's one of us.
No, I've got a lot. I've got you. I think I got lies ready to go. I think you're talking to you're not listening. You're going the normal route like we're trying to end this.
I think this is a trickier question that was posed to us. They had sex. She wanted more. He passed. He sent a dick pic. She hyped him up. He sent another dick pic. She's at hospice. This all happened within the last couple of weeks. Now we're saying don't send any more dick pics. There's something in the middle of this story. I'm not getting it. It feels like it's all building, but then he's rejecting her. Now she's saying, fine, if you're not going to have sex with me, stop sending me dick pics because there's a simple one.
Stop advertising for a product I want to buy if you're not selling. Yes. You're showing me that hot dick? Well, I want it. I'll purchase it tonight at 8. If you're not available, stop sending me the deals. Title. I clipped this coupon I want to purchase.
But am I wrong? Jolene, am I right? You are on point. See what I'm saying? So this is not, we don't want it to stop. She's saying, stop flashing gold at me. I want it. I'm hungry. Stop showing me a Turkey. Okay. Jake, I can't, I can't have one more analogy. I agree. I don't have any more. I do. Okay. I do. Okay. But are you pulling up the phone? What you hyped him up or did that fade?
I am looking for it. What I want to recall is there was likely the like sweating tongue out emoji. So she says, oh my God, you're burning up. That's such a hot bod. The pork emoji. If I'm Dave after a seven out of 10 and she wanted more, I'm thinking she's loving these pics. It's the least I could do to this poor girl. She's loving the sex. She wants more. I'm a super weird guy.
I would love to have sex with her if there was a sleeping person nearby. So this is the best I can do. That's a real weird one. He's a weird guy. That age is real weird even on this call. Yeah. But you like this guy, yes? I wouldn't want to pursue a relationship. You want to keep having sex? Well, now I don't think I do. So I got a question for you. If he said tonight after work, want a round two, what would you say?
I would have questions for him. What are the questions? What the fuck have you been doing the past month? I'm a weird guy. Not you, Jay. No, but what if he says that? Joelle, are you saying... Yes, go ahead, Garth. Are you asking for us to repair this? No, you want us to just figure out how to get out of this. Yeah. I mean, essentially, my thing is...
The nudes got to stop. If we're not having sex again, let's stop with the random nudes. Yeah. So we just got to figure it. We got to get away from this. So how about a very simple right down the middle text to him right now? Hey, pal, cool it with the nudes. Don't know if you know this. I work in hospice helping people enter the other world, consoling their family,
Don't need to see your hog. Peace.
Peace. See you around the building. But you know what that would do for me? My little turtle would go right back in the shell and would not come out for photos again. No more goofing around for that little guy. No, he's done goofing around. I think that the problem is he's right there. I think you, okay. I mean, I like that because I definitely think that what that would do is if I did receive that and I would be like, oh shit, I got, I would be like, I got to stop. I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry.
Yeah, I would be like, I'm sorry. I also think you could come up with, there's a funny play, okay? The funny play is when he starts texting you nudes, just start texting like screenshots of cartoon characters from Looney Tunes and just see what that does. Or you could also do, you could send nudes of animals.
So or, you know, like a dead pig, you say like a chimpanzee naked. Yes. What the fuck is this? And then if he goes, what the fuck? You go, what the fuck you? And then just send like and then just start sending pictures of like hot dogs and just like weird hit. Try to outweird him a little bit with it because it's kind of weird shit. That way you're not take away. I think you're right, Gareth. Take away the sex of it.
send him like a photo of like a black hole that just looks like a butthole. You know, they'll have those like science pics where you're like, I guess that kind of looks like a butthole where if he sends you a photo, you just send him that. Just start doing that and see what that does. Then I think if...
It persists, whatever escalates, whatever. I think you always have the option of saying that you've kind of started to see someone a little bit. Yeah, we can we can end on seeing somebody, but I got another one for two and this might really end it because I know it would for me. OK, and it's it's a it's too adjacent.
What if every time he sends you a pic, you send a thing of Austin Powers where he goes like a little gif where he goes like, yeah, baby. And you send the same one. How about Obehave? Obehave. Yes. That's even just do the Obehave because he'll send it expecting you to do like an open mouth tongue sweating. And if it's Obehave, he'll be like, first of all, cool it. I don't like that response to me being totally naked.
It'll put a little shame in the game. It'll definitely throw him off and it might lead to more, but then everyone just gets an automatic OBE. Okay. Okay. I like that. I definitely, I like the weird route. Right. I like that. I think there's just, it helps you.
Just be like it just helps make it all a bit sillier because it is kind of fucking absurd. It's really hard to know what the fuck he wants or is thinking. But if you no longer want anything out of it, then the stakes are kind of removed. So, yeah, I would just go that route. I would just start doing that and see and then leave long gaps. Don't respond to some of them. Just kind of let it float out there for a while. Hopefully it'll stop. The thing that I just thought of is what if you tell him that all your shit just got hacked?
Okay. So now... I mean, you could say... If you say that, you say, all my shit just got hacked. They have everything. They're still in my phone. You know. You know what you do, Gareth? That's a bandit. You send it to us and a couple other fake people, but it's a group text saying, hey, y'all, I'm so sorry to tell you this. My phone, my email, everything has been fucking hacked.
It's really embarrassing. It's really annoying. If you get any strange emails, just anything you've sent to me, I'm really sorry, but this is going around. It's becoming a really big deal. And don't send me, I think they're still in my cloud. So don't send me anything, anything important or any information. Please don't send me any credit card information, any family. This stuff is going on the dark web. It's really scary. I'm so annoyed.
Uh, so please nothing personal for a while. Nothing. If you want to show me anything or give it to me, do it in person. Oh, and then if you want, my boyfriend and I are trying to figure this out. All right. So now back to you, caller, we've given you a lot of great options. What are you thinking of doing? I like the, the gift sending reactions to the responses. What kind of gift are you going to send it?
I like the idea with the consistent GIF because that's just a two taps, send. Two taps, send. Ooh, that's a title. Two taps, send. Ooh, that is great. Okay, but I agree with that. It's nice and easy. And I'll tell you, if you've received the same GIF for the fifth time, it gets scary. Yeah. That'd be weird. And then, so you're going to do the GIF? What do you think about the hacked idea? It feels like a lot of work. Hmm.
That's a play for if this gift idea doesn't work. That's a surprise. You can almost blame it on the hackers. After calling into a podcast for help on it, one simple text feels like a lot of work. Literally, we wrote it. We've already given it to you. Here's my question to you just because I'm curious. We're getting off. We're going to get off soon, and you're going to do the gifts, and it's going to work. If it doesn't, try the hack because that will work.
What does this guy have to do to have another round two with you at this point? Ball is so far in his court and he's, he's just gotta not be weird. He's got to take the initiative and, and just go for it. As a man, as a man who doesn't know you, I wouldn't go back in for anything at this point.
He wasn't. No, he's right next door to you. If he's fucking asking to bang you while your friends sleeping there, it's it's strange. I don't. There's like some weird shit here. I don't think I think you can find better meals off reservation. I wouldn't agree. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go with Gareth on this one, too. Yeah. This is why the only time you should shit where you eat is if you're in a hotel room. Like we always say on this podcast title.
Listen, Joel, keep us posted on how this works out. I'm curious about this one. Yeah, because I think let's get you out of this weird little situation. And really quickly before we go off, you really don't want to just write the hacked text? That will end it. The gif, you're going to, it's the weird one, and it will lead to more weirdness. Why don't we do this? Why don't you gif it up for a little while? And if that doesn't work, call back in. We'll compose the text fully for you.
We'll send it and then we'll go from there with a third follow up and see what that does. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah. My thing with the hacking text is it's been a couple of days since receiving the last one. Yeah. So. It's okay. I want to hold off for a minute. Okay. But that's my plan B.
All right. I think it's a great plan B. Well, good luck and thank you for what you do at hospice. It's a really meaningful job that you do. Absolutely. Thank you. I appreciate that. All right. Good luck to you. That's why I'm a fucked up person. Thanks. Great ending. We are brought to you by Hero Bread.
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Hey everyone, producer Kevin here. The original call from this next follow-up aired on March 14th. It's called Are You Going to Do This Madness? and it's the first call from the episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello. Hi, welcome to We're Here to Help. Is this your first time calling or is this a follow-up? This is a follow-up, gentlemen. Is this Connor?
This is Luke, but not Rubik's Luke. This is Suits and Wigs Luke. Suits and Wigs. Great. How was the party, Luke? Oh, man, it was great. I got to tell you. Tell us. You've got a lot to expand upon. Basically, we helped you kind of figure out your annual party you were trying. You started with Suits and Wigs. We put you on social media. We were trying to promote you as best as possible.
So you had your first annual suits and wigs party. And boy, did it sound like the details were about to explode out of your mouth. Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Long pause. Let's hear it, buddy. How'd it go? Yeah, it was great. I got to give a special shout out to Caitlin.
because she really put together that website last minute. So what had happened was, you know, we had the call, and you guys were very generous and offered to, you know, make the website. Squarespace. And then my two friends that I was going to do it with, yep, Squarespace, we were like, well, you know, we still have nothing going on the night that we were originally going to do it.
We decided to just have a trial run ourselves anyway. We went out in Sherman Oaks to a few places and had a great time. We were doing bits that immediately got a lot of attention. And then three weeks later, I got the email from Kevin, who was like, yeah, we're going to air the call in the morning. Do you have pictures from your event? I was like, well, wait a minute. Where are you guys supposed to...
to make the website and do all that? And he's like, yes, you're right. The website will be done in the morning. Kevin's face just now. Thanks for putting me on blast, Luke. It's great catching up with you as always. Kevin's face just now was so funny. I agree, Gareth.
I got to say, Gareth, I got tense. I was like, ooh. Something's happening. Kevin's face was like a kid who'd painted all over the walls and the parent just came home. But he was also on the verge of violence.
No, it's actually a testament to the whole team because Kevin and Kaylin and everyone just really put it together and did a great job promoting the event. So once I had access to the website, we started going through the emails and we didn't know what to really expect because
by the time of the actual event there was close to 100 rsvp and we decided once it was over 50 we knew that we would have to kind of call an audible and change the location how come and um so many people so but then yeah i had a connect at season brewing and shout out to them because then i i was able to contact their manager and
But I was still a little like, I didn't know if he would really be game for this wacky idea. So I kind of downplayed what it was. I said, yeah, it's a group of friends. We're kind of networking. There could be around 30 or so, but... We're networking. You're going to show up in suits and wigs. We're networking. We kept asking more questions. We kept asking more questions and I had to be like,
Yeah, we're going to be in weird costumes, just to let you know. There's suits and wigs, and he loved it. Luke, I want to share a photo of exactly what you're describing right now, which is very funny. So for the audio people, we're looking at a group of people in suits and wigs. Is Luke in the middle there, Kevin? Do we know?
I'm in the gray suit with the pink tie. All right. Well, I don't think we see you in this picture, but we're looking at a bunch of people around some tacos. And in front of it, it says, reserved for networking night. Yeah, we got there. And it said networking night. Oh, there we go. And so how many people? Oh, that's fun, man. How many people did you end up getting? It was close to the final number was about 40. That's great, man. Wow.
That's a real first annual, man. And was it a bunch of new people you hadn't met? You got some babes there. Yeah, that was the other thing. We had no idea because there was about 15 of us that knew each other. And then we were trying to have contingency plans. Okay, if there's some weirdos, what are we going to do? You guys are the weirdos, Luke. Yeah, Luke, you're the head weirdos.
You're the architect weirdo. You guys all in wigs and suits. We don't want any creeps showing up. Keep your eyes open. There could be a lot of weirdos here tonight. No, everyone brought the best vibes. There was a group of about eight friends that came from Torrance. And shout out, I believe her name is Tammy. We were trying to...
convince her that she needs to email the show because she has a wild problem about how she speaks German in her sleep. Well, Luke, shout out to you for the most shout outs on a follow-up call. Without question, I think we've had three to four shout outs so far. So shout out to you. Shout out New Balance for being on my feet at the party. Shout out Beer for making me so drunk that night. Shout out my parents for the sex. Shout out Squirtface. You know what? And I know guys here
Eric Elstein. Jake, I go a little bit ways back with Eric. He always had a talk with you. Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, we love you. We love you, Luke. But this call has to end. And it's devolved to you just doing shout outs like a radio station at 1145 p.m. We really appreciate it. And you're going to do you're going to do another one next year, right?
Yeah, we talked about it. There's a couple of girls that came from San Diego. They want to make their own. This summer. Yeah. Shout out them. Shayna and
This is painful. Your advice was maybe mixing up the theme every year. Yeah. And we talked about that. I got to say the group thought, you know, maybe it's just suits and wigs. They seem to really have a call. Suits and wigs seem to really work. Shout out to your original idea. I mean, that's just. But also shout out democracy.
Because they took a vote. And shout out Pivoting for being able to stick to the original plan you came in with. Shout out Squarespace. Shout out commuting from San Diego for a party. Shout out to Shayna and whatever her name is. And shout out Shayna and whatever her name is for saying we're going to do another one.
Yeah, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to them for sure. Shout out to bars for being open. And shout out to whoever's in that hotel room with you that you're getting in weird fights with during the call and trying to make like weird dad eye contact with. Shout out to privacy symbols that are being ignored in your hotel. Shout out to those. What is the point of them? Shout out to that. By the way, a good bit could be in hotels, walk around, and if someone's got a privacy sign, just take it off all the door handles. I've honestly thought about it. I
I honestly think in my time I have not had one in my room and take them one off of someone else's for my own. The only problem with that bit. Shout out to them. Shout out to them. Shout out to the bitch. Shout out to the maids. The only problem with that would be I would feel really bad for the maids because everyone would get so mad at them and they're like, oh, yeah, I just did my job. And they're like, oh, I wanted prizes. I'm doing yoga.
Shout out to yoga. Anyway, Luke, shout out to you for having a great... Shout out to Jiu-Jitsu. Shout out to Jiu-Jitsu. Shout out to Jake's back. Hopefully you can recover from your stretching ordeal. Shout out to Jake's little weird locker room dummy. Shout out to Renekijoke.
Shout out Jake's little weird tackle dummy that he keeps in his little weird fake locker room set that looks like he films porn in it. Shout out to that. And shout out to you, Luke, one more time, man. Thanks for calling. Shout out to follow-ups. And shout out for all that. So keep us posted on the next one and shout out to that call when that happens. Thank you so much, fellas. Thank you, buddy.
Hi, everyone. The original call from this next follow-up aired on May 23rd. It's called You Have to Follow Up, and it's the second call in the episode. So if you'd like to, you know the rest. Enjoy. Hello. Welcome back to the show. We're here to help. We know that you had one call with us, but we don't know what it was. So why don't you tell us what your first call was? I am the chef from the west suburbs of Chicago. Oh, this is great.
Yes. So you're the you're the chef who basically had a your boss was influenced by another restaurant's Instagram and kind of kept jamming their thoughts and recipes down your throat. And you feel like it's just kind of taking away all the creativity you wanted as a chef, something like that. Right.
Yes, sir. Nice call, Gareth. Okay. Yeah. Can we get your name and then just to remind us of that? My name is Eric. Eric. And then what was our advice to you? How did we end it? What were you going to take? What did you get excited about? You guys told me to try to get them blocked by the other restaurant.
You know, we can't listen to our own podcast with fresh ears, but this sometimes feels like it when, when, when they tell us what we pitched and what they went with. And I'm like, well, that's insane. I will say while we're in the calls, I feel when we finished, if people saw how confident we were, and then their response is always like, these idiots give the worst advice. And I'm like, what show are they listening to? We're like, I know what show we're listening to. After,
After the call was, boom, another lunar module has landed. And then when we hear it back, we're like, wait, we just threw a ball of foil at a wall? So, Eric...
You tried to get blocked. What happened? Will you walk us through it? So the day after the call, the owner, I think I called him Bill last time. Yeah, makes sense. Decided to edit the entire menu and roll out summer specials, which both of those edits roll out on Wednesday. Oh, so you don't know what they're going to be? No, like I've spent since the day after the call until yesterday editing
developing recipes and writing a whole new menu and repricing everything. So I never actually got to enact the advice, but I figured I'd follow up because it's... That's a huge win. Is that a win for us or just for him? No, I think that's a win for you, Eric. That's what you wanted, right? Yeah, yeah. So I got a lot of input on this one. I am still forced to do something at Bill's win. Right.
So the day after the call, I go into work and he has what he tells me is his mother's family recipe for Chex Mix. And it is a printout from a website. And he holds it up and reads it to me like it's a child's book and tells me that his mom's been making it for him for years and years and years and years. Hands me the recipe. I look at the date on the recipe from when it was published on the website and
December 23rd, 2023. Amazing lie by Eric. Super weird. I mean, by Bill. Super weird stuff. What is the recipe for... Is the Chex Mix at all interesting? No. No, it's not. And then we... I made the recipe. I priced it out for him. He didn't like the pricing of it. So we...
are ordering a pre-made mix and adding more pretzels to it because pretzels are cheap and golden grams.
This is weird. It's a weird follow-up, right, Jake? Yeah, but also, I mean, he owns the restaurant, right, Eric? Yeah. Yeah, he owns the restaurant. He owns the building. He can do whatever he wants. It's fine. At least this is the thing that I'm getting enforced. Yeah, yeah, but he's like, I like this weird Chex Mix. I'm going to pretend it's a family recipe. Who cares, right? It sounds like you kind of work for John Taffer on, like, Bar Rescue, where there's, like, some cheesy ideas, but who cares? Yeah. Yeah, I would say that.
And you get to roll out your own menu soon, which is kind of what you wanted to begin with. In some ways. Go ahead. That's Wednesday it comes out. Yeah. So in some ways, even though you didn't listen to anything of the call because you didn't have to.
An old saying that we've been saying that's been passed down from our grandparents was that sometimes we pitch, you got to like run a mile to go a block. Yep. And this, you know, and Jake, I'll be honest, this feels like one of those. Yeah. Because we did all these weird touches and spent 30 minutes. Yeah. And in the end, you got to make the menu. You're making, no, Gary. Oh, sorry. Because in the end, you're not copying this other restaurant. Yeah. Yeah.
So they have been technically blocked. In a way. In a way. There's another part of it, and the other part of it is it's not public knowledge, but we are going to be opening another location. So now he is browsing the Instagram of all of the restaurants in the area of the second location. But I also think you could frame this as a win.
Because split his attention on another place. Let's get him. And now he's going to be off on another place for a little while, too. Something a lot of people have said about sometimes the advice we give here, Eric, is sometimes we're going to make you run a mile to walk a block. And this kind of feels like one of those to us. So it also just feels like.
You know, you work for kind of a cheesy guy and you might be too good of a chef for these restaurants because I got a feeling he's going to be he's going to be creating some version of Flavortown at one of these restaurants. It's going to be Chex Mix to like weird jalapeno poppers. And you might just want to get out of there at a certain point if you can. Once you see the word donkey sauce in writing, it's time to go float that resume to other places.
Oh, we're close. We have an awesome sauce. An awesome sauce. That's what I mean. So he's copying. Does your place serve alcohol? Yeah, I actually shared the links to my place and the restaurant from the other call to Kevin. We are a brewery. Is there a drink on the menu that's totally blue?
No. Luckily, no. Does he have bleach blonde hair that's spiky and goatee and he wears sunglasses on the back of his head and he drives around in a red convertible? Actually, to describe him best, imagine mildly Republican Santa. That's Guy Fieri. I think it is.
he's got the guy eric i think the move is you need to make fake instagram accounts of restaurants in the area with recipes that you like and then send them to bill and say hey check this out this one actually looks pretty good that way you can just make what that's interesting i don't like that it came in at the end with the best advice yeah you know it could be fun yeah go ahead eric
Oh, I was going to say, I'm just extending the offer that if you guys are ever in the West Chicago suburbs, I will feed you if you come into the restaurant. I love it. Right. You know what you could do? Here's just another pitch going off of Kevin's that's probably more trouble than it's worth, but it could be really funny and it could be fun for you. What if you created a full fake restaurant?
And you sent it to us and we tried to get our followers on Instagram to follow so that you got like at least like 500 followers. And you just took photos and you made recipes of all the food you wanted so that hopefully he followed it and then was copying. It starts following him. Yes. All of a sudden it follows the restaurants and then you catfish him.
And then out of that, it's all the food you want. So hopefully he goes to you and goes, you know, my mother had an old recipe for this turkey meatloaf thing. And you go like, uh-huh.
And then he just is copying your ideas. I like that. I'm really into this idea. Because that could be really fun for you. If you send it to us, we'll have Caitlin on social media. Just ask some of our followers to follow so that it's got some legitimacy. But let's create an entirely fake. Maybe we'll go to Squarespace and see if we can make a website for this. Oh, my God. Yeah.
I mean, is this something, Eric, you would want to spearhead if we kind of created a thing? We create a fake restaurant. We create a fake menu. You would have to run the menu, obviously. But we would try to. We could probably help with Squarespace. We can get a website kind of set up and see what we can kind of do. See if we can get this guy copying you. I'm super into this idea.
I think so too. Kevin, could you maybe see if Caitlin could run point that? And people pointed out since your episode has come out that the restaurant that has 35,000 followers that your boss keeps copying only has like 15 likes a post kind of lightly being accused of buying some followers. So if you need to do that for your new one, just saying, it seems like it's fooled him before. Yeah.
I didn't even notice that. Okay. It's a good thing to have in your back pocket the next time that he's showing you some of this stuff or being like, they do it right. Be like, yeah, they also buy followers. Yeah. 35,000 with 10 likes. I have a wild pitch. Who is this guy? You're in Woodridge, right? Am I allowed to say that? The restaurant is? Yeah.
So my grandma lives in Woodridge. I'm going to try to pitch to my dad to bring my grandma to the restaurant and maybe like loudly talk about this new place while he's there, while your boss is there. This is a shocking pitch. Shocking. Kevin, we didn't know you had boots on the ground. I only,
I also didn't realize you were a mad person. You're going to get your grandma going, I love Rocky Mountain Taps. Say it again, Grandma. I don't think he went to the bathroom. Say it again. I'm looking at a map. Dude, I know exactly where your place is. My dentist, my childhood dentist was across the street. Get him to go. My family's going to have a damn field day at your place. Can we get the dentist there, too?
Yeah, I'll call it that, Mr. This is the weirdest Kevin I've ever seen. Stop looking at locations near this restaurant. CSI the restaurant. Enhance. Enhance. So, Eric, what do you think about creating a fake place? Kind of seems like you're almost out of the woods on this, but...
Maybe there's a way to catfish this guy and get exactly what you want, but it would take work from your end. Is that something you're actually interested in doing or you got too much work making the menu as is? Honestly, I've already started on brainstorming ideas while we're talking. So I'm into making a fake restaurant.
I think this is an interesting play. And if we catfish him, the dream would be this guy and you as the guy DMing back and forth. Yes. The dream would be him trying to court you. You know what this could be? That song, if you like pina coladas. Hmm.
And then in the end, it was you all along. Oh, my God. What, Kevin? My dad's been to your restaurant before. What is happening? It's almost like two podcasts are being recorded. There's the one that Jake and I are doing, and then there's the one that Kevin's doing. Kevin, what the fuck? And Kevin's is amazing. Kevin!
All right, go ahead, Kevin. I'll ask. I asked my mom, have you or dad been to this place? My mom says, dad has, not me. What the fuck? Is this crazy? So we're going to get... Okay, so we're going to create a fake Instagram for you. Kevin's dad... Oh my God, my grandma loves the wings at this place. This is by far the most the follow-up has ever felt like the first call.
There's so much more work to do. Kevin, can we wrap this up or are we waiting to figure out what your dad ordered? We can wrap it up. She is responding to the last time he was there. Go ahead. Kevin's dad is there right now. Last summer. Kevin's dad's the boss. Kevin's going to go, oh, my dad just bought a restaurant.
He kind of sucks. Right when I took over. Yeah. All right. He likes it. He said it was cool. Oh, really? I'm done. That's all I got. Wow. Okay. So Eric, follow up with us again. Kevin, we'll follow up with you too about the Instagram account and maybe we can start building this thing and see what we can do. Great. Sounds good to me, guys. Thanks so much. Good luck. Talk to you soon. Thank you. Talk to you soon. See you. Bye. Bye.
Hey there. Jumping in after the episode, Eric made the Instagram. It's called snow caps and taps. Uh, the link for it is in the description, please. If you have an Instagram, give it a follow. We really want to blow this thing up for him and, uh, would be really fun. So thank you. And. Hey,
We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.
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