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And here we are! Another great episode of We're Here to Help. Jake, we're back. We're helping. We already know the episode number. Which is?

Spoiler, it's eight. So no fun to be had there. No. And we have two calls today. A lot of fun. We also, before we even start, we want to, again, just thank everybody for not only listening, but subscribing and telling people the show is doing very well. And we're very happy with that. So continue to do that for us. Like, subscribe, all that BS. Yeah. And we've also been noticing that you guys are spreading it on social media and those posts. And it's really helping.

And so truly, thank you. We love doing this show and we hope to keep doing it and you guys are helping. But today we got a really fun one. Go ahead, Garth. Well, Jake, what we like to say is that when it comes to helping the show, you guys are here to help the listeners. Let's cut that, Kev. So yeah, that should be cut as soon as... Can you cut it now? No, we're currently recording. So we got two today. The first one's a wild one, or maybe it's going to be the second one's a wild one. One of them today is a wild one. It's about a woman...

And we're just going to give a little setup on this one who called in because she's going to her high school reunion or 20 year reunion and she doesn't want to.

And she's looking for help, but she doesn't know the help she wants. So we create something with her that ends up getting wild. And we have a lot of follow-ups with her. And our second one is kind of just a classic weird one. Super weird. There's a woman on Twitter with some weirdness. It's someone who has an issue with a Twitter account she's following. She's a super weird lady and we love her on this show. Yeah, we love it.

And we're brought to you by Squarespace. We not only love Squarespace, I use Squarespace for all my personal websites, but we use Squarespace for the show all the time. Whenever we need to help a caller, we send them right to Squarespace. And we are not lying about how much we love and use Squarespace because we just did it.

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Hello. Hi, thank you for calling in. This is Jake and you're on with Gareth. How's it going, guys? We're doing good. How are you doing? I'm doing well, except for this terrible problem that I have, which I'm hoping you guys can help me with. Yeah, we don't know anything about it, so do you mind breaking it down for us a little bit? Yeah, absolutely. So, it's a Twitter issue. Somehow, I started following someone and

I don't know if it's because of like the whole Elon Musk takeover of Twitter and everything got completely screwed up. But I don't really pay attention to who's posting much thing, you know, much on my feed. So I see like pictures of kittens and little dog and I'm like, oh, this is nice. And sometimes there'll be like a couple of pictures and I click on it and

I'm just going about my day, and one day a photo comes through on my feed, and it's blurred out. Now, I know that should have been an indication. However, this has been happening to photos that don't need to be blurred out since the whole musk takeover. Or I'm an idiot. I don't know. So I'm like, oh, it's going to be another picture of the kittens or the puppy.

Wait, hold on. Hold on. What's your first name? My name is Sailor. Sailor. And where are you from? I'm from Florida. Florida. So you saw a blurred out photo and you thought I'm going to click on it because it's probably a blurred out kitten. Sailor. Yeah. Sailor. I know. I know. I know. We all know what blurred out means. Yeah. Blurred out. It's...

We all sailor. I also hit the blurt out, but I'm not going like this. I'm hitting it looking for two kittens. I'm looking for kittens when I hit. I mean, the idea that you're like, all right, let's see. I think.

For some reason, the kittens are blurring. Oh, it seems like the kittens are moving and they must be wrestling. Let's see what happens when I hit the blur. I honestly didn't even think about it when I clicked it. I didn't really put thought into it. Okay, so you hit the blur. I really didn't. It unblurs and I'm like, what the fuck am I looking at? And it took me a hard minute.

It turned out to be a scrotum. Oh, that's not a kitten. Like a closeup. That's not a kitten at all. No, no, definitely not. Just to be clear, this guy is posting photos of kittens and testicles. Yes. And puppies and puppies too. His own animals. Wait. So these are his, his kittens, his puppies. And I'll do the, all the testes look the same. Are they his nuts?

Okay, so I don't know. I don't know. I will admit I'm kind of like on that highway to danger zone because I have since I clicked on it one more time months later, not months, weeks later, whatever. Again, just I definitely do scroll.

But it's kind of like Russian roulette. Am I going to get, am I going to see a kitten, a dog, or is this guy scrotum? And I'm horrified, but I can't stop looking at the damn photos, even though I can't throw up in my mouth. Okay. Of the scrotum. I don't want to see that, but I just, I don't know. It's like danger. And so what is the, what is the question here? This is a really interesting setup. What, what is the, what's the question today?

I need to stop looking at these guys. I just need to stop this guy. I just got to block this guy altogether. I mean, he does it because he thinks it's funny. It's like a joke for his friends. You know, and there's some days where he's like, hey, gang, just want to tell you you're doing a great job. He's like a suit. He seems like a super happy, nice guy.

And so this guy... It's so confusing. It's really funny. So this dude's whole profile is positivity, kittens, puppies, occasional nutsack. I gotta say. Solid, pretty solid. Now that I know what this guy's doing...

I do really love it. It is. I get it. He's playing scrotum roulette. No, you're not supposed to love it. That's exactly what's happening. And so you, as the person, are involved in this weird relationship with this guy's pictures that you want to be done with, but you can't stop clicking. Yeah. Correct. Correct. Sometimes you get the kittens. Sometimes it's kittens and puppies. Yep. Yep.

But is sometimes the blurred one when you hit it, is that ever a kitten? Yeah, right? Yeah. Oh, my God, is that good. So he's selling the concept of you're probably going to get a cute little animal. Or you're not. What a hilarious piece of shit this guy is. I hate to tell you, Sailor, that what you're doing is you're selling two grown men on what might be the best Twitter. Exactly.

This is not going the direction you need. Well, hold on. So I have a question for you because now I get the predicament. I didn't get it at first. Okay. I thought it was kittens, puppies, and then blurred photos of scrotums.

That's what I thought. And then I thought like, that's an easy one, but it's not. Right. It's really cute kittens and puppies that you really want to see. And occasionally the reveal is this dude's gross nuts. Yeah. And let's be clear.

Yeah. I want that one thing. If I wanted to see like someone's scrotum or whatever, I want to choose that. Fine. Whatever. I'm not saying like I'm a prude, but it's like, it's shocking. I totally agree. It would be shocking to me.

Yeah, no, it is. How do I stop doing this? Interesting call. Interesting call. I don't, I, unfortunately, I'm still in the fog of war that this guy is, I'm in love with the concept of his Twitter. I, I,

He's putting people in a really interesting conundrum because let's say, honest to God, if it was something like kittens and puppies don't do much for me, but if I had a site that I liked and I would be looking at somebody's post and I thought, I like these, whatever dopamine is released is making me happy. And then all of a sudden it was his balls and I got like slapped in the face and I wasn't happy. I could see myself ending up in your situation, Saylor, where I go like, I'm a gambler.

And, you know, the reason you put money in a slot machine is you're probably going to lose, but you might get three sevens. And so, you know, you're probably getting nuts, but you might get kittens. Here's the problem, Sailor, is that my advice is a question, and that is what's his Twitter? I'm not telling you. No, you can't advertise for him because then there's going to be a lot of copycats. I'm not giving this guy Twitter fame. But he's really...

I mean, he's really cracked something here. I look, I think the, I think, okay, my advice to you that you want is block this guy.

My advice that I believe, I don't think you want that. I do. No, I don't think you do. If you did, Saylor, you would not be calling us. It's very easy to block. Yeah, I mean, you're basically like, how do I lose weight? And it's like, quit eating all the chips. But you're like, I love chips.

Well, I think there's a shock factor still. Like, I'm one of those people that how many times does, I mean, I'm definitely, I don't know, my friends are like, you know, so-and-so died of, you know, a drug overdose. And I'm like, really? He did drugs? And I'm not an idiot, but I'm kind of like that person, you know? Let me ask you this, Saylor. Have you ever clicked on the blurred image and it was a kitten or a puppy and you were disappointed?

That's a good question. That's a good... We need you to think on this one a little bit longer. Come on. You're hanging in there. Sometime you got to click on it.

Yeah, we need to give this your classic 60-second pause. Because this is a good question, and I'll tell you why. You could also Google kittens and puppies, and you'll never get balls. You will never get balls if you Google kittens and puppies. What's the point, though? There's no excitement in that. You could put safe, whatever the safe search in on, and you will never come across a gross pair of nuts. You will just get tens of thousands of kittens and puppies.

There's a journey here because the cat had the kittens and they're like, oh, look how small they are now. He got you hooked on the story. This guy's scary. He's scared. This is the kind of person who should be buying Twitter, not Musk. This guy deserves the billions.

Okay, so I get it now. So you feel that you've gotten invested in the story of these two, this kitten and this puppy. You don't want random kittens. You just want to see these kittens and puppies grow up. Yeah. Where's Milo? What does he look like now? Well, first of all, Sailor, you're the best. I care about Milo now.

And second of all, so you, so here's a real question to you. Cause I actually am with sailor now. I don't think she wants to see nuts. I agree. I thought you did. And I thought we were about to. Yeah. I believe that. I think you're genuinely mad when you see nuts and you really just want to see Milo and the gang grow up. I,

This guy's a genius. Well, he's put you in a really tough spot. And the only way you can actually get out of it, you know, look, if you have a family member who has a drug addict, you've got to cut them off at a certain point. You've got to just say, you're not getting better. I can't go down this road. This guy's Twitter is,

He's a dark individual. He's got you in a corner and he got you invested in Milo and the gang. And he knows a lot of people are clicking those things. This guy got you to go to the nut show by selling you a kitten ticket. Exactly right. My advice on this one is two roads. And it's really a question for you, Sailor, and that is

Sometimes you got to get punched in the face a little bit to get what you want. Like, you know, when you're going after a dream or a goal, you know, you got to eat a little shit to get there.

Right. And so if you care that much about the story of these cats and dogs, well, then watching what happens to their evolution, you're going to see some nuts along the way. The other path is just I have to cut them out, even though a part of my brain is interested because I just don't want to see his testicles anymore. Right.

There is no middle ground because if you decide I'm so interested in the upside, I'm going to deal with 15% testes. Then you just, when you get it, you just got to go, mother fucker got me again. There you're nuts dude. And move on. That's pretty much where I'm at right now, but I think I need to be done with it. You do. Okay. So then my advice to you based off that is to block them and never, and when you're having an urge, call the show.

Yeah, I, I, we are here for you. I'm a, I think Jake's right. You already know what you want to do, but I'm just going to say the other option is take your hat off to the greatest Twitter of all time.

But, but yeah, nobody empathizes with not wanting to see balls more than people who have balls. Yeah. I will say he's put you in a tough spot. So sailor, what do you think you're going to do here? What's going to be your final take? Are you going to block them? You know, I think, yeah,

So I told you I went down the rabbit hole, like, who is this guy? What the hell is going on? And his wife is also on Twitter. And Steve doesn't post any pictures of balls, but she does also post pictures of the puppies and kittens. And, you know, maybe I'll just drop the line and be like, hey, just, you know, still want to be updated on what's happening with little Milo and the gang. But I can't look at your husband's balls anymore. Yeah.

I'm sorry to have to walk away. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Not as fun. Yeah, but also, hold on. This entire time, there was another feed from his wife with all the same pictures, but no balls. I didn't know that. I didn't. Not the same. Sailor! Sailor!

But I didn't know that until recently. You just told us that his wife also posed without the nuts, which means if they really want. Who cares? Cool it with your objections here. You keep talking yourself back to Scrotum Island. I mean, I think it's this. I think it's this. And I think you know this.

I think you could block him and just literally start following the wife. And then you will know what happens to Milo in the game. Two, block the both of them, move on. There's quite literally hundreds and thousands of kittens in the world. Or three, look at yourself in the mirror for a hard 60 seconds, as you like to say, and admit there's a part of you deep down in there, Taylor, that kind of wants to see those nuts. Yeah.

Because I don't see any other world why you are still following this guy when his wife posts the photos. I'm going to put it like this, Sailor. You love furry little creatures and a set of nuts is among them. I'll tell you this. I'm blocking him. I'm blocking him. I'll tell you this. I mean this seriously. If I were you.

And I was looking and I said, like, that's a cute ass kitten. And I go, I'm in. And I go, oh, Milo, look at him getting older. Oh, blurred. Testes. Blocked. Yeah. It would not take me two blurred photos.

Fool me once, you know, you heard of that? Fool me twice, you heard of that? You've been fooled about 250 times. Not that many, but I do like to give people chances. You've given a lot of chances. At this point, you're in a weird relationship with this profile. Yeah. You got it. If you want to stay in, enjoy the show. If not, then get out. And what are you saying? You want to get out?

Yeah, I want to get out. So then open your Twitter right now. Okay. And we're going to ask for a screen grab of this. Yeah, especially so I can get this guy's handle. And then will you take a screen grab of it with the... I'm sure there's an icon that says follow in if it's anything like Instagram. Yeah. So will you take a screen grab of that? I will, yeah. And then will you... Is there a button that you could put blocked?

Yeah. Yeah, you can block people. Okay, so can you block him and then take a photo of that? Yes. It's safe to say that you are leaving Kitty City because of the ball tax. Yes, you're out. True, yeah. Did you block him? I feel better. Did you block him? Yes, I did. Will you take a picture of that and send those all to the email? And make sure we can see the handle on it, please. Thank you. And then if you ever...

Unblock him. Yes. This is... One, stop lying to yourself. You know what you're doing. And two, would you please call in? Yep. If you relapse, let us know. Yes.

I will definitely let you know. I have a feeling I'm not going to relapse, but I'm a woman with many issues. So, you know, I think I might be calling my own podcast with a similar issue like this soon. Thank you for the call. Thank you, Sailor. Thanks for your help, guys.

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Hi. Hi, how are you? Welcome to We're Here to Help. This is Jake and Gareth. Can we get your name? Hi, my name is Kelly. Nice to meet you, Kelly. And can we ask where you're calling from and how old you are? I am calling from Louisville, Kentucky.

And I am 38 years old. Well, yeah, you're probably calling for a reason. You want to tell us what's up? What can we help with? Sure. So I have, again, I'm 38. I have my 20th high school reunion coming up in a few weeks. And, you know, I wanted to see, I'm a little nervous about it. I wanted to see if you had any advice for me. You know, I haven't seen most of these people in 20 years. So, yeah.

Yeah, whatever you can do to help me, I'm appreciative. All right, Kelly. Well, let's get a little bit of backstory. What was your vibe in high school? I wasn't like super popular. I was just kind of there. I don't know. That makes sense. What's going on with your life in Kentucky? I have a wonderful husband, Sean. We have two dogs. I'm an artist.

Cool. What kind of art you do? I do some paintings, some mixed media. I do a lot with disco tiles and mirror tiles and stuff like that. All right. So let me just cut into this one really fast because I'm not seeing an issue here. You seems like you got a really nice life. You have a really cool job.

But if you're telling us that the people at your high school don't really know you, you haven't really kept in touch. You have a really nice life with two dogs and artists and a great husband and you're going to go, but you just feel anxious and part of you doesn't want to go. Then let us help you create a fantasy fucking story that you become the talk of the reunion. And everybody goes, do you remember Kelly from high school? And they go, no. Do you know that she works for the CIA? Yeah.

Do you see what I'm saying, Garf? Now, I don't want to create a whole splash if deep down you say, funny podcast, I'm not doing it. I only want to go down this road if you're in with us and you actually do this, because then I want to follow up with you. Okay. I mean, I think I can commit to this. If this is real, Kelly, then we're with you.

Oh, God. If this is what you want, then we're very with you. But we don't want you to do this because we want you to. That's exactly right. We want you to do this because you want to. That's right, Garth. I do want to. I don't want to do anything to hurt anyone's feelings or anything like that. Same. We're the same way. How about

How about we inflate the world you already have? You do this art, but why don't we throw some names in there of the people who are buying this art that is more interesting? You've sold a couple pieces to Simon Cowell. You know, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama just bought a piece.

I think that's really interesting to go with the big paintings. Let me ask you a question. Good. What Gareth just pitched is a great realistic lie that will make the night fun.

Where I'm sniffing towards, and again, just like you don't want to hurt anybody at the party, I don't want to end this with you go, that backfired on my face. I had a terrible reunion. We don't want to hurt you. You don't want to hurt them. What we want is for you to leave the reunion with your husband, get in the car, and crack up. That was one of the best nights for a night I kind of felt obligated to go to.

I mean, I, I have to know, do I, do I need to commit before? No, no, you do not. Because I, I mean, I have to know what you're thinking now, at least. Okay. So what are, uh, if I throw out something at you, what are things of interest to you?

80s music. Gareth, immediately start thinking of people she's been in affairs with. Keep going. Of course. Yeah. Okay. 80s music. Yeah. Okay. Dogs. Should we stay away from art for this one? No, not necessarily. No, but here's why no, because it could give you validity. It can give you, you can have more details. Yeah. Yeah.

Is Sean, is he going to play ball? Yes, absolutely. Okay. And how many of your close, close friends are going to be going to this reunion? Like four or five. Okay. That's a little bit trickier. Okay. Cause they know you. They do, but I can just kind of, I mean, I feel like, yeah, I can tell him just go with it. Just whatever happens, go with it. And I think they'll be down with that. Well, I mean, if you were to say like,

Sean is in a pissy mood and he's drinking a lot at the bar because when Rod Stewart commissioned a piece of art for you and you guys went on a dog walk together, you ended up having an affair and Rod Stewart, you think, wrote a song about you. And Sean found out about that two days ago, but has still agreed to go to the event because you said it was important to you. Something like that.

Something like that. Okay. I love it. Soft pitch. Okay. Thank you. I love it. I think there's something there. Who are you? Who's your favorite band or musician from the eighties? I mean, I'll just go ahead and say Madonna. Interesting. Okay. So Madonna has definitely bought your artwork. Yep. And you just got back from doing a full commission at her house.

And while you were there, the strangest thing happened to you. And the only reason you're talking about it at this reunion is that like you can't stop thinking about it. So there's a way into it where people go, how are you doing? And you'd be like, good, how are you? And then you'd be like, I'm so sorry if I look tired. I have like not slept. Jet lag. As well as maybe Madonna drugged you. Oh, God. Yeah, I know. We're all surprised.

We're all horrified by her behavior. Yeah. But Gareth and Kel, it's different than you think. She didn't drug you in that way. That's what she does. She has a party and the, you've never, have you ever done acid Kelly in real life? No. Okay. So it would be a little weird for that party to think of you as doing acid.

So Madonna found your website. She found your art. This happened years ago. You have not talked about it. But over the years, she's bought over like 12 pieces. And you know Madonna. You email Madonna. You talk to Madonna. You've been to Madonna's house. You've put art in like six of her different properties. Yeah.

Uh, but you've never parted with her. And on this last one, she was having to get together and at that get together. And you're like, these are not my friends. I'm just the same old Kelly from Kentucky, but just like you guys, I'm just like you guys. I'm just genuinely friends with Madonna. But apart from that, I'm just like you boring people who want to just talk about your boring ass kids while you were then with Madonna. She had some sort of punch that she called like gorilla juice or the dog's bowl.

And you drank it because literally everybody was drinking it and you started feeling like really, like truly scared. And then one of Madonna's friends said like, did you drink the Gorilla Punch?

And you said, yeah. And she said like, enjoy the ride. Cause you've just had the equivalent of 10 hits of acid. And you, even at this thing, you are not feeling like yourself. And it has been 14 days and people will go, what? It's your first drink since then. And yes. Okay. What do you think of this as the beginning of a journey? Are we anywhere near a zone you're interested in?

Yeah, do you like this? I do like it. Yeah, I'm not incriminating anybody. I like it. No. Maybe in Madonna's defense, there was a sign under the like crazy juice that said MDMA or like acid. But that sign, like someone took it or fell off. Like it got mixed up. Or you just thought,

MDMA was Madonna. Yeah. But also everybody who goes to these parties has been to all her parties. Yeah. So she didn't do it to be an asshole. This is what these music Hollywood parties are. And then they, when they go, then what happened? You go upstairs. There was like a wild orgy of like eighties and nineties musicians. And she's like,

But you always have to be self-deprecating and be like, it wasn't hot. And they go, what do you mean? It was a Borgie. But you go like, they're like, is this serious? You go like, I saw Rod Stewart naked. And they're like, you didn't? You go, he's probably 80 years old. And you're like, it was gross. He had trouble moving from bang to bang. But like, you just paint a very realistic, cool,

crazy picture of a Madonna party that, and you lead out with, I want to make this clear. It was not my idea of a good time. And then you like, you add weird gross details. You go like, and then they ordered like Burger King by like the bundle. So there was all of a sudden there was a table where there was like, like,

400 Whoppers, but nobody ate them? I have a pitch about the fries, too. It's something my friend does, is he will get three orders of fries and then put the best French fries from each of those three orders into one and then say, now I have the perfect set of fries. That could be a thing Rod Stewart did that maybe distracted from the orgy. Now I've got the perfect thing of fries, finally. So the talk

of the reunion is this Madonna party that makes because most people aren't going to know what to talk about you're giving everybody a really fun evening it's just not true yeah can I pitch that Lionel Richie was there and I'm going to tell you why because I'm going to tell you why I say Lionel it's going to make it seem more realistic

He just is. He's the host of some show right now. He's out and about looking for attention. His daughter is Nicole Richie. So you could go really obscure and then people would be like, huh? If you say, yeah, it was in Los Angeles, but Lionel Richie was there holding court. You could say at one point, Lionel, uh,

sat at the piano and did a song and you could then genuinely say he has a beautiful voice and you could make it seem like you're saying that as like a friend and they'll go like, no shit, it's Lionel Richie. But you're saying it like your friend Lionel happens to have a beautiful voice, which will give you a lot of cred, but he did not do old stuff. He was doing new stuff. So it was kind of a drag. I like the mixed feelings of hearing Lionel's beautiful voice, but it being the new stuff and that kind of like uneasiness and

Everything has to cut into it a little bit where it was a great party, but like the food was Burger King and that's trash. Lionel Richie was singing. He has a beautiful voice, but I didn't know any of this. And he would also stop in the middle of it and then like experiment. And you'd be like, what is happening here? Here's the greatest ending to that story. Once you've wrapped it up and people's mouths are agape, just go. Anyway, how are your kids? That's it.

That's it. What's going on with you guys? And then they go, David is in Little League. And you go like this. Oh, my God. Wow. Yeah, well, I'm coaching him. It's not about me. Oh, my God. That's amazing. And then at a certain point, look at your phone and go like this. Ugh, Madonna is such a bitch. I am not writing that.

Kelly, is any of this ringing true or have we just been weirding out in the desert? Where are we at here? No, I think I can definitely, you know, I don't have...

I don't know if I can take it to your level because that's professional. I can do my best, though. Where do you think you're going to play ball as far as some of these pitches? You have the wild Madonna story. You can also just tell that you're selling a lot of your art pieces to bigger names. And that you sold to Madonna and that you know Madonna. Yeah, and that that's one around there. That's true. So...

So out of all of that, are you going to take any of that or are you just going to kind of show up to the party and get drunk? What do you think you're going to end up doing here? Gold status is, I think, the party, the Madonna party. Yep. I love the Burger King, love the fries. Great. The curation of the perfect fries. I think we should definitely work with that.

Do you like the idea of the drugs or did we go in the wrong directions with that and the orgy and all the old man boners? Was that a mistake? No, I don't think that's a mistake because I think you need some, because what's the first thing anyone is going to want to ask is what the hell was going on there? You know, who did you see? Yeah. What was happening? So you have to come to the table with something. And I think that is going to knock it out of the park. Yes. Coming to the table is what an orgy is all about.

Will you follow up with us? Please. And will you potentially follow up with us with the four or five friends of yours who are in on it too? Because if you actually tell four or five friends and you guys design the plan, because I'm going to tell you, and I'm saying this now for real, because I want you to go for it, but there's a chance it goes sideways, right?

And if it goes sideways, what's going to happen is somebody at the party is going to go to somebody else at the party and go, do you remember Kelly, whatever, from high school? And they're going to go, kind of. And they're going to go, she's a super weird liar. Yeah. There's downside. And they're going to go, what do you mean?

She just made up some entire bullshit story about Lionel Richie. And I don't even know why I don't even remember her. So with great success comes risk.

And you've got a huge win here, but you got to make sure you sharpen your sword. Don't go into this battle half-assed. Your team and Sean need to be ready. Your story needs to be rock solid. You need to have addresses. You can't say, I've sold a bunch. How many? Like five or ten? Bullshit.

If you sold to Madonna, you know exactly how many paintings you've sold. Seven. And last but not least, before we hang up, what are the things about the party that you're going to call your friends? Will you do a quick role play? Just you run it and tell us what you're going to say to your friends about what the lie is, just so we can kind of hear and hear how it sounds.

Okay, so off the top of my head, I think it would be something like, hey, you know, we're all kind of apprehensive about going to this thing. So I was thinking to make it a little more fun.

I have some ideas about what to say I've been doing lately that might sound kind of out there. They might involve some celebrities and doing some things that you know I definitely haven't done. But you guys just need to have my back and just go with it and just yes your way through the night. And if you have any issues, let me know. Your setup there was phenomenal. So then when they say, okay, well, what are you going to say? Do you mind continuing?

I would say that I've been selling a lot of artwork to Madonna over the past few years. Specifically, I've sold four pieces. You, because this feels so good. You sold four art pieces to Madonna. You'll have more details if you need it, but then please continue.

Um, yes. And last Tuesday night, I went to a party for the first time. She invited me to what she said was just a little get together that she does this like Tuesday night thing. But anyway, it was the first time I got to hang out with her. So I went to her house in Brentwood in L.A.,

Good. You're very good, Kelly. It's great. Thank you so much. Thank you. I promise you, you're doing great. Okay. Okay, so here I am in Brentwood, and, you know, we're just kind of hanging out, and then all of a sudden, I see Rod Stewart walk in, and then Lionel Richie comes in. Oh!

He's actually holding like four bags of Burger King. And then, you know, I think like his assistant or something brought in like this whole box, like Costco size box of fries. And I'm standing next to Madonna and she's like, oh, that's so sweet. He always remembers. I like to curate the perfect serving of fries.

And so anyway, we're hanging out and there's this bowl, like I've seen this bowl of punch, you know, that everybody's kind of been drinking from. And I decided to try some. And it was weird because on my way, somebody was like, oh, you're into that too. And I was thinking like, yeah, I get thirsty. So anyway, I tried some. And next thing I know, we're in her pool house.

Rod Stewart's not wearing any pants at this point. Things are getting, you know, interesting, like LA interesting, like not Kentucky interesting. Yeah. Like I, I'll be honest, I'm struggling to even remember what else was going on because I just felt like so out of it. And that's when I kind of realized like, Oh, this punch. Hello. It was, that's why somebody tried to warn me, but you know,

We don't do that in Kentucky. So I had no idea. But yeah, it was a really crazy night. And I'm still honestly trying to recover. Great job. Thank you. By the way, you're a fucking star. That's a great story. Very believable. If I'm at that party, I'm 100% in. You got to do your homework on what happens on all the side streets.

Okay. So your party, your a story is great, but what's happening in all those rooms you went into? Cause if it's an orgy, were you fully clothed and they're all fucking, that's not realistic. If it's an actual orgy, then it's dark in a certain room. You're not sure. Like just know your details because if you're telling the story, no one's going to believe you just saying, let's just leave it at that. They're going to go, well then why are you telling me? Yeah.

Yeah. So you just need to do a little bit of homework on the details. Your tone is spot on. You're very believable. Details. Yes. Crushed it. Thank you. Kelly, thank you so much for this call. Yeah, Kelly. We truly wish you the best. Yeah. Let's do this as a team. We got your back. Thank you. I appreciate all of you and your help. And I hope you have a great day and I'll let you know how it goes. Thank you so much. Good luck, Kelly.

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That was a HeadGum Podcast.