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All right. Here we are. We're here to help the podcast. Another episode, Jake. What episode? Really doing it. Gareth, what episode are we at?

Because you always say the number and you started smiling. So we both know. Why do you hold these things? We both know you thought, because last time we had one, it started and you said six and in post, Kevin put in seven, right? Opposite. Well, that was a bad thing for you to say. Opposite.

Oh, I screwed it up. Damn it. That throws me off. Seven. This is seven. Kevin, what episode is this? Seven. Seven. Well, we got a great one on seven. I'm excited about this one. It's our first follow-up.

Yeah, well, let's also say, Jake, that we really appreciate everyone listening and everyone who's sharing and all that stuff because the show is doing pretty well and we really do appreciate it. And we're getting some great emails as well. We had some killer ones we recorded this morning that were very funny.

But yeah, we have two calls today. The first one involves, I guess, the issue of aging in athletics to some extent, Jake? That's a good way of putting it. And also, you know what we all just watched with, and we've all been watching with Coach Deion Sanders in Colorado. Yes. What it means to be a leader. Yeah.

Yeah. And what a team needs to go from last place the Buffaloes were last year to this year. And that's leadership. And so it's somebody asking about, should they fill that role, I guess. And it's a great call. We're excited. We're going to get a follow up on that, too. But our second call today, you got to listen to episode one.

before you listen to this one. So if you have not listened to the first one about the D&D game, you need to because the star of that game comes out. Yeah. I mean, we had Zoe last episode and now we have... We've had Lamar. We got the biggest fish of the goddamn game. We got a big fish. We got a big fish. This is the one where...

You know, every podcast, every once in a while, we'll have like Bruce Springsteen on. Yeah. They got Barack. You get Obama. Yeah, exactly. We beat you fools. We got TukTuk. We got TukTuk. I just said it. We got TukTuk. And I hope TukTuk's ready. I hope TukTuk's ready to have all these other podcasts clawing to try to get TukTuk on the show. And Tuk, don't go on him. Don't go on him. You're too good. Set your rate. Set your rate. Thank you. So we got a great show. We're really excited. What were you going to say, Garth? Yeah.

No, I was just going to say it's quite a little world we're creating. So it's very enjoyable. And yeah, like I said, email if you have a problem, helpfulpod at gmail.com. And thank you for listening. And one last thing. Gareth is going to the United Kingdom on Monday. Yes, I'll be doing shows all over the UK and Ireland. Go to garethreynolds.com and you can get a seat, I promise. Don't miss that show. It's going to be fun, everybody.

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code gil sent me hello this is russell russell well welcome to we're here to help with jake and gareth we normally start off with asking the name you've done the heavy lifting uh how old are you and where are you uh i'm 33 and i live in minneapolis minnesota and what can we do for you russell why are you calling

Well, I had, I've been thinking about, I guess, a little dilemma or a quandary here about my adult rec soccer team here in Minneapolis. And we've been playing together for years and years and years. And, you know, we're getting up there at 33 for adult rec sports. Good kids. Trust Jake and I, you're kids. Yeah.

That's fair enough. Sometimes the knees don't feel like it, but okay, I hear you. The line I want to toe is somewhere between taking it too serious and not taking it serious at all. I want it to be more than just

just someone's Monday night exercise. I want it to be, you know, I want to have some buy-in and then, and so, but I don't want to say, you know, Hey guys, we're going to be practicing or, you know, give up, give it like a pump up speech before the game that everyone says, okay, that's doing too much. You know what I mean? I'm going to interrupt you. I'm a hundred percent with you, Russell. I know the exact zone. I feel it about poker nights.

Okay. I'm not looking for everyone to be a champion, but when it's someone's turn and they're in a five minute story about what happened to them in traffic, I'm like, make your fucking bet.

Yes, yes, this is it. So I need that line. And it's like, okay, how do I do it? Are we going out for beers after? Do we do like an award ceremony at the end of the season? What's the right line to tell? Ooh, this is a good one. Yeah, this is interesting. I feel like I have a good audience for it.

Yeah, this is a good question. Do you feel like you've ever taken it too seriously and it's kind of been not embarrassing, but you kind of overstepped a little as that happened?

Yeah, for instance, maybe the story I told there, the example of giving a pregame pump-up speech before Wednesday night's quote-unquote playoff game. That didn't really fall too well. Can we get a sample? Yeah. Can you give us a little taste of what that speech was? We're on the pitch here. I'm gathering them around. Okay, I go, all right, fellas, take a knee, take a knee.

Yeah, Chris, you too. Yeah, take any. All right. This is the revenge tour. This is the pinnacle of the revenge tour. We all remember what happened last session. We don't want it to go that way. This is it right here. We know how to play this team. They beat us last time because we're a little shorthanded. Caleb, we're not going to hold that against you, but you know what I mean. And that's more or less how it went. Yeah.

That's a fired up speech. I'm ready to go beat. I'm going to go whip some ass on that court. Russell, can I ask, did you win or lose that game? We won the game. We won. Okay. Interesting. But you felt that some people were like, buddy, just come on. Yeah. There was a little side. I could sense the side. So walk me through this for a second, Russell. What is the vibe of your teammates? Yeah.

So for the most part, we've all been playing together for, you know, 10, 12 years, more or less on this team. People come, people go, but it's kind of the same group of friends. We get, you know, we get new jerseys every few years. We're called taking cookies FC. It's just an inside joke from college. You know, it's all that whole gamut. But we've,

just started to inject some youth into the team little brothers joining and uh their friends so we now have some you know some early to mid-20s and that's where it's hard to tell that line that's where the kind of the question came oh so your generation is kind of you guys are all on the same page but the new generation are they not taking it as seriously

It's in between. I think it's there. They see our passion. They see how much fun we have. But I don't want to come off as some weird old guy who's like, hey, guys, on Wednesday night, we should go super hard at this. Hey, Russell, I got to interrupt you.

You are that weird old guy and the team needs it. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't go, I don't want to be that weird old guy, but I'm that weird old guy. And I want these young kids to realize they got to fucking play this game. Those kids, those 20 year olds, you, I think you dive so far in and I think you go to them and you say like, Hey, you know, being part of taking cookies FC means something.

I don't know if you know this, but we've been doing this since you were nine years old, my man. And we have been building something and we would like you with us. But we got to know, are you with us? And if they go, I don't know, man, I'm looking to get some exercise and say, give me your jersey. Take it off. This is what I'm going to play for the next revenge tour right here. Right here.

I Russell, I mean it a hundred percent. I think you need to be the guy who cuts the fat off of this team a little bit and says to people who are not sure the tone, you can't go too far on this team. We're looking for commitment. If you miss an open shot, I'm not mad at you as long as you tried your hardest. But if you're out here gunning and you love taking cookies as much as we do,

then you're a member of this team. But if you're half in, half out, I need your jersey back. There's another number 11 out there. God damn, I'm ready to put my head through a wall here. I love it. Garrett, what are you thinking here, bud? Well, I mean, you're responding well to that. So I think I would go with that. I think, you know,

There is this complex the older you get. The fear of being a weird old guy is so... It's just always there. And so...

It's only going to get amplified when you inject young blood into the team. But I think if you own it and you're kind of like, look, some of you might think it's crazy that I want to give pregame speeches, but this fucking matters to me. I know that it maybe is not, not everybody looks at this as the Superbowl, but I want to win. I want to be a champion. Let's fucking do this. And I think if you bring the passion you're talking about, I think then you're kind of covered, you know? Um,

Right. And you're probably overthinking it more than that. It's fun to care about, though. Yeah. And I played in a rec league before and like at younger than that. But still, I mean, we took it seriously. I mean, everybody took it seriously. I was in a rec basketball league. And then when I got on television, I got hooked up with a Nike connection.

And they asked if I wanted like to wear Nikes when I go to and from set. And I said, yes, but I need every single person in this basketball league to have matching jerseys and shoes. And I oversold how many celebrities were in the league.

So there was a four year period where a bunch of like, you know, mid thirties guys were playing basketball in matching sneakers, blue and white reversible Nike jerseys. And what it did for the game was it took the level of intensity to a whole nother level.

Because now getting one of those jerseys meant something. And then when you put it on, you tried your hardest. I've never personally cared about how good people are because I am not a killer athlete, but I do care about intensity level. If I'm doing a game, if I'm doing something with a group of people and one person's half in and half out and wants to talk about the dinner they had, it's ruining the fun for me.

So if you're all in the same bit together, then win or lose, you guys are fired up. I wouldn't do a speech every game. I wouldn't turn it into a show. But if you feel like the team needs it, then let it rip, man. And if somebody can't handle it, then get off the fucking team.

Gentlemen, I love it. This is the kick I needed. I'm going to lean in here. I'm going to lean in. And this is good because we have full kits coming in the mail right now. We finally paid for a graphic designer, all this. There you go. Russell, every team needs a heart. Every team needs a leader. Without it, it falls apart. And remember, when you gave that playoff speech, you won the game.

I mean, you know, maybe it's good. Maybe it's the secret sauce.

No. Okay. Let me, let me, let me ask you guys this. If, if what's a good end of season award, like a funny, fun, something, you know, I don't know. And it doesn't even have to be soccer specific. I would do a few things for the awards, right? You're going to want the fun, silly stuff, but this shit isn't fantasy football. It's not like you got to wear a goofy outfit and humiliate yourself. If what you're saying is you want people to take it seriously, then,

One of those awards needs to be the MVP and it doesn't go for the nicest or the sweetest or the guy who bought fucking brownies. It's the most valuable player. Then you had to go defensive player of the year. Then I'll do another one that says leader of assists. Then I would do one, the hardest hustler. Then I would do glue of the team. And then I would go,

Guy who looks the worst in shorts, right? A few gags at the end. And best speeches and give that one to yourself. I thought Jake had already pegged me with the hardest. Don't be afraid to give yourself one or two or three of these. You can be moonlight at the Oscars. You can just sweep it. Let's go.

That's true. That's true. It's all I got left. I'm a hustler. I don't have the skills. I'm going to run around it. But Russ, I'm going to now give you real advice about the awards thing because I actually think it'll help. Here's what I would do. I would come up with a bunch of real awards like MVP. And when you suggest it, the younger group's going to laugh at you. And the way you vote on it, I want it to be a secret ballot.

Right. And I'm going to tell you what's going to happen is people are going to go like Russell's a goober, dude. He wants us to do defensive player of the year. Ha ha ha. And then when they don't win anything and somebody else wins something and they have to go, well, deep down, Scott was a better defender than me, but I used to do defense in high school. I'm better than Scott. That person's got to go home and look in the mirror and go, I didn't give it my all.

All I got was fat as calves. I got most likely to be bald by next season. Fat as calves is great. You know, do a couple of ones that are humiliating. Most likely to get another earring. And then you do another one where you go literally the MVP. You go like hardest worker, most improved.

And everybody does a secret ballot and you ask your original crew, your friends, like, guys, please take this seriously. Let's see what happens. And then you do the night when you're all at the bar and you give people their awards.

It's beautiful. I didn't start this conversation with the notes app open, but it's open. Good. Russell, good luck, man. I think you're in good shape and I think the team needs you. Hey, I appreciate it. Well, you know how Rob and Ryan Reynolds bought a team and made a documentary about it? Yeah. There's a real chance we're going to put some money into taking. Yeah, I really do.

Hey, look, I'll send you guys the link. You'll have some follows on Instagram. Send us the link. We're going to get some jerseys. When we walk out on the field and we're like, I can't believe we're all the way in Minneapolis. I mean, it's just what I didn't understand was that how many lives we would affect. It's crazy. There's nobody there. And you'll hear one speech from me and you'll just run home. Thank you so much for having us, Russell. This was a major disaster. Amazing.

Jake's wife's not talking to him. Yeah, I don't know why I'm wearing a soccer jersey and I'm in Minneapolis on a Wednesday night. I have to make better life decisions. Yeah, yeah. Look, all of us will at that point. We charter a private jet. We'll win the whole, a lot of money. Russell, good luck, man. You're the leader of that team. Take you guys to the championship. Win something big. Hey, thanks to those big fans all the way.

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Keep the carbs out of summer without compromising flavor with Hero Bread. Get 10% off your order at hero.co and use code HELP at checkout. That's help at h-e-r-o dot c-o. You're on with Jake and Gareth. Can we ask your name, your age, and where you are? I am Abby. I'm 31, and I'm in Indiana.

Oh, Indiana. Are you near Bloomington? I'm actually in Fort Wayne, but I technically live in Bloomington. Interesting. And Abby, do you happen to play Dungeons and Dragons? I do so happen, yes. Oh, do you happen to be Tube Talk? Tube Talk, yes. Oh, welcome to the pod, Abby. Wow, Abby. I'm starstruck.

uh so i uh was given to believe uh you know i don't have the full transcript but i did hear from shannon who you've spoken to yes so abby let us break down what we know yeah and then we want to get your side of everything and back maybe a little backstory yeah so shannon called in

She is part of your D&D game. Yup. And she wanted some nerd clout and decided to create a character with a German accent named Vilhelmina. She at the same time said that you, her friend in real life, were creating an Irish character named Tutuptak.

I don't know that he's Irish, but the accent is supposed to be. Okay, okay. Right. And that there was another woman named Rachel, who's also a mutual friend, who was creating a Southern character. Shannon told me when the game started, you, Abby, with Tuk-Tuk's Irish accent, got all the attention, which you just loved, Abby. Rachel...

shit the bed, nobody liked it, and she abandoned. And then when Shannon started Vilamina, it got no attention. I'm so curious as to this fabrication. So she called us with help, with her character, to make Vilamina more exciting than the king of the game, Little Tuptak. So that is where we stand, Abby. Can you please...

Break down your side of the story for this game, because what's happening in this Bloomington, Indiana D&D is blowing up. It's a big story. People are talking. Well, let's see. Uh,

I don't want to say it's all a damnable lie, but... Ooh. Interesting. That is a term. I'm so curious as to the picture that was presented. Well, you're the best of the accents. You're getting all the acclaim. But I want to also hear, Abby, in terms of just hearing that backstory, what do you make of it? Is it true? Is it false? If it's false...

You tell us. We were on Team Shannon before, but now we're talking to you. We're free agents. I'm on Team This Is A Plot. This was a plot against me. Ooh. Yeah, I think there was maybe some jealousy there. Maybe some jealousy there. Definitely. But...

And she was just like, well, your accent landed better, but that's because you just watched Banshee the Venetian and had it fresh in your mind. Okay. So, okay. And how do you think your, and how do you think the game has reacted to your accent and your character? I think we're all living in the realm of mediocrity, really, when it comes to accents. Now, my character, I would say,

He's the popular character. My character, he's a goblin bard. The rest of the party, they're all like 6'5". And Tuk Tuk is hovering in between 3 and 4 feet tall. Little guy. But he's a bard. So they're performers. Sure. When you're in the comfort of your friend group, you're like, yes, I'll do a silly accent and play a character that supposedly could do music when I cannot play an instrument or sing. Well, that's the beauty of D&D. You don't have to.

Is it too early, Jake? Is it too early to hear from Tupac? I don't want to hear it yet. I still feel like I need more info. Okay, all right. Keep going. And so you've created Tupac, who's three foot tall. The rest are about 6'8". He has become the star of the game. Do you agree with that? Because that's what Shannon said. I think that's the jealousy speaking. Interesting. I mean, it's a team game, so everyone has their moments.

What do you, can I ask you a quick question, Abby? What did you think of Rachel? What did you think of Rachel's Southern accent? Well, we've, we've played multiple campaigns, D and D campaigns together, Rachel Shannon and a few of our other friends. So when we were going into it, Rachel was like, I'm going to do an accent this time. And we've been playing with her a while and we're like, are you though? Are you really? So Rachel's a bit of all talk.

I think she's truly trying, but she honestly can't tell. Is she still doing the accent? No, Rachel abandoned it right away. If we ask her, she might say, yes, she is. But I am trying to do it. So it's so subtle, you can't even tell. And what did you think about Shannon's Vilimina? Yeah.

uh well honest opinions here all abby all we're doing is honesty here yeah i knew what it was supposed to be right we talk about our character dynamics with each other so i knew what it was supposed to be right and i withhold judgment because if you ask me to also do a german accent i'd be like i don't got one yeah respect sure respect but you would agree that shannon doesn't either basically

Yeah. And then that's okay. When you did two talks right away, did you feel from the group that the character came more to life? Oh, I don't know.

I try to play all different types of characters. Is it safe to say that Tube Talk's your greatest character? Yeah. He is my son, my baby child, my tiny, wonderful little baby. He's a very baby boy. But I love all my children equally. Okay, diplomatic. Can we hear Tube Talk?

Oh, Lord. You know, as soon as you're like, all right, now perform. And you're like, yeah, spotlight time. Here's what we really want, Abby, is it's I just want to get a taste of your baby boy, your sweet little baby. And I want to because what we realized in talking with Shannon was there was a Shannon and there was a Villa Mina and they were not the same thing. But it took a little bit. No, that's very true.

And so on this podcast, what we're looking to do is we're not looking for you to feel like you, Abby, are on the spot and you, Abby, need to perform. We would like to talk to Tupac about these characters. Is that possible? Is Tupac available? Is Tupac there? Oh, goodness. Oh, hello. Hello, Tupac. Is this Tupac? Ostensibly. Tupac. Wow. This is Jake and Gareth. We're on the podcast. We're here to help. Big fan.

Really? I've heard otherwise. I've heard threats were made against my person. No. Well, actually, Tube Talk, I might have said... I heard violence was suggested. Okay, Tube Talk. Wow. Tube Talk, can I be honest? I did make a threat against you, actually. I did. When I was talking to Vilamina, I said I think I was going to strangle little Tube Talk.

Wow. Because you're less than four feet tall, and I thought I had size on you. Because I do walk around at about 190 pounds, Tuk Tuk. Yeah. Wow. Never met me. Threatened me a lot. Can I sincerely apologize to you right now? Are you open to accepting that? Hmm. I don't know that I'm the forgiving type. I totally respect that. Well, I mean, it wouldn't hurt me.

But if she killed me, then she'd make sure I was dead. Can I ask you, Tube Talk, what you feel about Vilamina? Do you mean her German-ness? Or as a character? How about both? Both, Tube. Well, we're the elders of the group. Wait, Tube, can I ask you a question? And I really hope that Abby doesn't answer this. I hope Tube Talk does. Go ahead. Are you the greatest character in the game you're currently playing? Are you way better than Vilamina?

Well, if anyone's killed anyone in the game, it is me. Okay. So you're the most powerful. On accident. Interesting. But you still murdered somebody, but it was by accident. Well, everyone was helping murder. Okay. So this was like a group murder. They weren't people. They were monsters.

I've greatly enjoyed the shorthand Jake has with you, calling you Toop. And I just want to point out that I really am enjoying that element. The way that Jake, I mean, I can tell you, I know Jake. He feels close to you. I mean, that's coming across here. The way, you know, there's definitely like,

It's a friendly shorthand. We've moved past the threat. We're buddy-buddy now. Well, Tube Talk, I said that I was going to strangle that little guy, maybe drag him down the river. I can't remember exactly what I said. But the thing that I want to say now that I'm talking to you is I understand why Shannon felt threatened by the work you're doing on this game.

Because this is a very strong and exciting character. And most of this show is people calling in asking questions. But my question to you, Tuk Tuk, is what can we do better as hosts of this podcast in order to have more success? You are so wise. Goodness. It's a lot. Well, we don't have podcasts in whatever fans they landed up. I'm,

invariably occupying sure so don't know what advice i'd give perfect maybe abby wants to speak now okay let's talk abby wants to okay hand the phone back to abby yeah abby oh yeah yeah i'm good wow that was can i can i just jump in because i think this call is going to end pretty quickly in my opinion and i'm going to tell you why

Abby, you've done some great work with Tube Talk. That is a phenomenal character. I understand, Shannon. And I would say in terms of your game,

have empathy and love for shannon because she did not call with any anger any resentment towards you she has a lot of jealousy towards this incredible tupac character and god damn it she should in my business every once in a while as an actor you get on set and there is a train coming at you i did a scene with jk simmons in a movie called ride the eagle and then after the scene the director said hey jake

you didn't act, you were just watching. And I said, it's because he's better than me. And unfortunately, Tube Talk is the J.K. Simmons of your game. He is just on another level. Yeah, but a rising tide lifts all boats. So I think, you know, it's kind of like, look, you're the Rolling Stones, but you know, the who can still exist. So, um,

So, yes, I think, you know, I like it. It's competitive. I like that you're making Villamina step up her game. But obviously, yeah, we're dealing with, you know, we're dealing with a professional. We're dealing with Michael Jordan here. Yeah, Michael Jordan got on the call as soon as we, you know, too, because Jake calls you, got on the call and we knew what was going on right away.

So, Abby, in conclusion from our end, thank you for calling. And in terms of finishing Shannon's call on this, could you just have a lot of compassion? And could you maybe push Rachel to commit a little bit more with her Southern accent? Yeah, in or out. Yeah, because if you three are firing at the level that you seem to be naturally firing, Shannon was firing at the end. Because I got to tell you, Vilamina became a whole other woman by the end of that call and was scary and exciting and

And I think in our last session, I would I was like, oh, I think her accent is stronger. Oh, yeah. She stepped it up.

Can I ask you one quick question? What was your reaction when Shannon told you that you needed to call a podcast with Tube Talk to update a couple of guys? What was Abby's reaction to that update? So she told me first that... Oh, okay, so you knew. Yeah, she told me first off. She was like, oh, yeah, they were picking beef with Tube Talk, and I was like, my son, my boy. LAUGHTER

Can you do us a favor before we hang up because our next caller is ready? Could you say thank you for listening to We're Here to Help. This is Tube Talk signing off. Thank you for listening to We're Here to Help. This is Tube Talk signing off. Thank you so much. Thank you, Abby. Thank you, Tube Talk. It's an honor in both accounts. Tube Talk, I'm a huge fan. Abby, keep up the great work. Huge fan. Thank you. Thank you. Bye.

HelpfulPod at gmail.com.

That was a HeadGum Podcast.