5: Find Your Goblin
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All right, here we are. Episode five, Jake. Yep, this is episode five. We got a really fun one today. We've got a man who...

needs help because he has a friend who he hangs out with a lot who is far too handsome. Yep. Something you said you've suffered a lot from when we go out. You definitely have felt...

That a lot. And so I think we do a good job of kind of being able to relate because we each represent the role. You're the caller and I'm the guy. You're the hunk. Yeah, I'm the hunk. I was like, where's he going with that? Okay, I got you. He also asks in this one, you will find out he, after the fact,

He emailed and asked us to beep out his friend's name. Yes. So you're going to hear a lot of beeps. He mentions it a lot. So there's going to be a lot of beeping out of Ian's buddy. And he did that because he realized this is a real story with a real guy who he genuinely likes but also hates because he's like 6'3 and a hunk. Yeah. So we accommodated. Kevin accommodated. It took Kevin, I think, 30 hours to do all the beeping. Yeah.

We've got another fun call from a young woman who, what I believe, had a stroke of genius, which is something I think can happen. Yep. She made a bold move at work.

And it came back to bite her. Yeah, kind of the question of hers is, what do you do then? Yeah, the way to circle back on some strange decisions while working as a barista. And then before we push it off to those calls, I also want to say that you've been in a slightly weird vibe today. We've done some calls, and now we're finishing with this intro. Yeah.

But is everything okay? Yeah, everything's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine. You had the weirdest technical issues in the history of our show. No mic worked. Yeah, I don't know. Listen, that threw me. I'm a podcaster and a comedian, and if I don't have mics working, that's tough for me. Jake, it would be like if...

Your your script on your Kindle wasn't working at your acting place or whatever, you know, so so you'd get thrown. What? Yeah, you'd get thrown. Exactly. So you're when asked, is everything OK? You did snap it, Kevin. I did not snap. You did. It's Kevin. Kevin, was there a snap?

There wasn't a snap. There was an adjustment. There was an adjustment. Oh, okay. This is the dynamic today. Then, before you self-hung up on yourself and left the Zoom... That was not a great move. When you record a Zoom, it asks if you want to leave the meeting or you got it when it's being recorded. I...

On accident, hit leave meeting. And then I hit a low. Then I hit a low. And before, when Kevin said, will you turn off your screen to recharge? And we were both looking down at this point. You said, don't say anything behind my back. That's a comedic one.

Look, truth be told, okay, there was a hurricane that was downgraded that was coming to Los Angeles. I was in Fort Collins, Colorado, and I left right after my show. So at midnight, I drove the craziest route, like 22 hours.

And then got home. Oh, you were driving through that? I drove around it. Like, I was like Bill Paxton. I was like tornadoing it. And I don't know. It was a crazy 22 hours. And so I really think that attacking me, which is what I've been, is not okay. I was really just trying to save myself and my cat. This is a story about a man and a cat. Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy the show. ♪

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The wigs and whatever. Suits and wigs. Wigs and suits party. And then just recently, we had a caller who lied to her boss and told her that she was taking a cooking class for a week, which just sounds insane to begin with, that a cooking class would be a week. Really, she was going off and doing some BDSM stuff.

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As always, I used Booking.com and truly got a steal of a hotel. Huge room. That's awesome. Two nights, two rooms because my friends were filming it, and it was all Booking.com. So no matter what team you're rooting for, Booking.com can make you a fan of anywhere. The right stay can make you a fan of any U.S. city, even your rivals. Book today on Booking.com on the site or in the Booking.com app. ♪

Hi. Hi there. How you doing? You're on with Jake and Gareth. Can we ask your name, please? My name's Ian. Hey, Ian. So you decided to email us. Do you mind telling us what your question is? Sure. Well, I mean, it's more of a problem, right? If this is a question podcast, then I'm

I've called the wrong one. So I have a spicy little taco and I like it. Why don't you jump in with what you need our eyes on? How about that? Sure. So, uh, my, my buddy is one of my best friends. He's a gentle giant. He's like six, five and he's too good looking. He's, he's tall and he's too good looking. I'm about as tall as he is broad. And when we go out, uh,

uh, especially when we're both single, it's like, I'm not even there. It's weird. It's like, they're looking at me, but they're looking through me at him. I don't know what to do. Uh, what's your, Ian, what's your height? What are we looking at here? What's my height? Yeah. Five, eight ish. Is that, is that five, seven? Yeah. Respect. Ian, what do we walk around? Uh, if you were to step on a scale, what would that scale say to us?

Oh, man, I wasn't prepared for this emotionally. You know, we got to go deep, baby. We got to go deep. One ninety one ninety on a good day. And we talking about and look, I'm a guy who's starting to lose my hair. Are we talking about a full head of hair up top in or are we in certain lights? Can we see the scalp?

Well, you can see the scalp because it's shaved. You know, I knew that I was losing the war, so I won a battle. By the way, much respect. Ian, how old are you, brother? 38. And what do you do for work? I'm an account manager, so nothing sexy. I just help tech companies do their tech stuff. So it's solid, but you're right, it's not sexy. And the gentle giant, what's his name? His name is ***.

It's a great name. It's a hot name. And what does he do for work? Well, yeah, exactly right. He's a massage therapist. Jesus Christ. You're up against it. I think you need to drop it. That's my first thought. Hold on. We're not there yet. We're not there yet, Carl. He's 6'5". He's a massage therapist. He's great with his hands. Allegedly. I mean, professionally. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a great. Yeah. Is he single? Well, right now he is. That's part of the problem when he's in a relationship. It's great because it's like it it shuts off some of the magnetism, but not now. Ian, are you OK? You're single yourself. Yes. Yes, sir. OK. And when you go out, are you going out just to hang out with or are you like, hey, let's go out and let's talk to some women?

You know, it almost doesn't matter when we go out like we could be out just for fun or we could have maybe the intended meeting people. Even if it's just for fun, it's like you're the attention is sucked out and away. So so the time that you're spending together can be usurped by female attention just because this guy is so stunning.

Yeah. One time he set us up on a double date and I feel like... Both girls like him. It was like I was a fourth wheel. I was like a fourth wheel. Yeah. So I'm going to relate to you a little bit on this and I'm going to call out a friend. It's going to embarrass him. But I did a movie with Damon Wayans Jr. And when we were...

out in bars, just talking to people. We were both in relationships. The way women look at that man, the way waitresses looked at him, it was as if nobody else was at the table. Very rarely would like a cute waitress get my order right because she was just focused on Damon in a way that was so annoying. He also does a very, uh,

move and that he wears a strawberry hand lotion. So he smells like fruits. Oh, wow. And I was like, he's good with his hands. Oh, you have no idea. He's a killer. The ladies absolutely love him. But I'm going to tell you, because you walk around at five, seven, one 90. I would love to tease you, my man, but I'm not far off. So you, you next to is me next to Damon. And I'm going to be honest here.

This is a losing battle. There's not going to be great advice for a random woman to go. Yeah, he's five, seven chunky and bald, but that's my guy. You want to know why? Because he has a solid job. As long as, but if you get out of the picture and you create a little dating app and you meet a woman who knows what she's getting,

I'll tell you what, even from this call, you got a winning personality. Am I wrong, Gareth? No, you're right. And that's what I'm going to suggest we lean into. Now, here's the thing, right? Your problem is that is getting too much female attention and you feel like you're just off to the side. But one of my favorite relationships in nature is that of a big shark and that little fish who hangs out under the shark.

And the shark is eating chunks of meat and just devouring everything. And all anyone sees is the shark just eating everything. But little do we know that under there is a fish who's doing no actual work and still satiated. Granted, the belly might not be as full. The life might not be as exciting. But there's still enough food to go around. Ian.

And you are that little fish, my man. You are actually getting the doorway into many conversations with women that you probably wouldn't have. Now, I'm not even saying that your whole life has to be like a couple of sitcom characters out at a bar every time you go out. But if you are trying to get female attention...

is actually maybe an asset if you flip the way you look at it a little bit. Maybe the perspective is just, okay, so is talking to that woman and her friend. I can also be a part of this conversation. Like Jake's saying, the personality is not an issue. And Jake will tell you just like I'll tell you. Guys like us...

The feature is the personality. The headliner is the personality. No women are seeing Jake and I in bars and going, whoo, you got to give me some of that. We have to look straight up in the air to see six foot. Yes, absolutely. Ladies like that number. I'm going to tell you one thing I'm going to advise you not to do.

And Ian, I promise you, if you end up reading some ridiculous book like The Game or anything like this, it might sway you in a nightmare direction. Never Peacock. Don't nag either, I guess. Don't carry dice in your pocket. Well, I wish I called you guys before I blew my budget on bracelets and strawberry. Those are returnable. Here's where you're at, Ian. Is ****** a real friend?

He is, yeah. I probably shouldn't have used his name. It's okay. I mean, look, why? Because you told him he's unthinkably handsome and all the girls like him? God forbid he hears about this. Hey, man, you just put me on a podcast where you said all the women love me and I'm really desirable. Could you not do that again? In what world? This is just contributing to the problem, really. Now, you've got to, every once in a while, you know, they have the term iron sharpens iron and you want to be around people who bring the best to you.

Well, sometimes you're going to want, you know, the way has you, you're going to watch your own Ian, you know, try to find somebody who's five foot three to 60 and

And so when you're walking around, you're the shark, my man. If you could, if I may, if I may, he said a goblin. I think adding a third, if you can add a third to this dynamic that just gives, I mean, again, I think we've already got our plan, but we're just giving you options. The whole thing, the whole,

point of this podcast is that these are options we just want you to win. There is the play where you... Get a goblin! Get a goblin! The comparison is the thief of joy. You're asking me to go out and steal someone else's joy.

as sort of like a food chain and attractive. Don't put it like that. Don't put it like that. We're just talking about the fish under the shark, having a tinier fish. Let's keep it in there. This is what we're thinking. The shark eats a fish. Is there a fish small enough to attach to me is what you're saying. Yes, and there is. Of course there is. And Ian, there is. There's thousands of them.

And it's another bar. It's another world. And guess what? The other guy, you're Ian, you're Goblin, as you call him. Well, you called him a Goblin. I don't call him that to his face. Of course you don't. No, God, no. But guess what? The women call him that in the bathroom when they all go to the bathroom together. And then one of them says, I got dibs on Ian. And the other one goes, no, I'm fine.

flirting with the sexy accountant and the other goes fine i'll go with the goblin i'll jump on the goblin grenade so i think our advice on this one is you've got to one understand when you're with the great white shark the massage therapist just kind of get whatever you can get two maybe create a dating app that's just your own thing and three

Find yourself a gross little goblin guy, become friends with them and go out to bars with them and pick up girls and be the alpha dog. That's smart. That's smart. I mean, obviously I've thought of all these things already, but hearing funny famous people say it makes me believe it could work. Just believe in Ian. Okay.

A lot of times it's just that simple. Now, Ian, that's really beautiful, Gareth. Thank you. Should we take a moment for the listeners to kind of recalibrate with the emotions? Because that was poignant. Are you going to actually apply any of these moves? And if so, if your move is, I'm going to look for the goblin.

Do you kind of have one in the back of your head where you're like, my cousin Jerry could work? I don't have any goblins on the bench. So I might have to think up a move. I like the idea of creating the two worlds. I mean, it's kind of painful because we're really good buds, but I will probably have to try and just go out with my...

more even friends, more even to me. But what do you think about like a dating app? I've been on dating apps. I mean, they're okay. They're kind of, they're not great. They're a little depressing. They're not great. So you kind of, Ian, you want to meet a girl and you would rather meet a woman out and about rather than a dating app?

Yes, 100%. I think that's better in general. Then if you don't really have a goblin, which it sounds like you don't yet, I would keep your eyes open. But really what you got to then do is unfortunately, I think you got to create two worlds. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, we really wish you the best, Ian. We really hope that you are able to navigate this a little bit better with our help. Even if you haven't, we're probably going to tell people that we helped you because that's kind of the vibe we're trying to put out in the world. But if you have a breakthrough, if there's something interesting that develops in this, don't be afraid to email the show because we like to follow up if there are developments. And we wish you the best, man. Thanks, Ian.

Thank you, guys. It was fun. All right. Bye now. All right, bud. Good luck.

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at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. And we're brought to you by Philo. You know Philo. We love Philo. Philo's got current seasons of shows that I and Jake and Shark can't miss on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery, and TLC. I've got shows like The Office, Martin. If you haven't watched Martin, and The Office, Martin's

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Hi, how you doing? Good. You're on with Jake and Gareth. We're going to try to help you. Can we can we get your name? Yeah, my name is Melissa. Melissa. And where are you calling from, Melissa? St. Petersburg, Florida. Florida. Beautiful. And can we ask how old you are? I am 30, actually.

30, actually. Lovely. 30-30! All right, Jake, we're going to need you to... I'm going to right away, Jake, tell you to take it down a major notch. Coming in real hot early on this. We don't even know the context for this one. Dirty 30 from St. Pete's! All right, we're not... No, you shouldn't. Don't love it, Melissa. That's not what we need to do right now is encourage him. So, Melissa, can you...

Fill us in. Why are you calling? What's going on? I can fill it in. This is Melissa. She's living that Dirty 30 life down in St. Pete. Jake, I bet it's a little more specific than that. So, Melissa, I'm assuming your problem isn't that you're in St. Pete and having a Dirty 30. Would you give us some context? What's going on?

Well, I really appreciate Jake's energy, but I will get into this. Thank you, Melissa. That's why I called. Thank you. No, so I work in a very, very busy coffee shop. One of my first shifts, actually, I believe I made...

making a drink, you know, they'd give me the ticket. I'm getting it all ready to go. I see a man standing there in a Panama hat and all of a sudden I go to read out his drink order and call his name out. His name was Gary, by the way. And, uh, I turned to Gary and I tell him with an Australian accent that I haven't been able to repeat or recreate, uh, that his latte is ready. And it was so genuine and I have never heard myself sound so genuine.

so good at an accent that I have never really tried before. And I was impressed with myself, if I may say so. Can we hear the Australian while we're just in the accent portion of the tale? I got a level with you. I tried to recreate it because it's waiting for this moment and it's not great. That's okay. Let's hear what you got and then you can grade yourself compared to how you did it on the day.

It's going to be a zero, but I did say something on his second drink on the ticket. It was a flat white, and I did just call out an extra hot flat white for

the takeaway and that was it. Now, by the way, that's not a zero to me. Gareth, am I out of line? Oh, it isn't. You're a little out of line. It's pretty bad. Um, but, but I will say, no, no, no, no. Listen, I think it's great. I fully support what you're doing, but it is. Um, I understand the predicament more now, but to call that a zero, look, I'm no, I'm no accent. Honest to God as a professional actor, um,

Here we go. Why don't you and I have a quick little talk as Australians? This is going to be a nightmare. Maybe not. So you start just because I can't remember how they sound. And then let's just go a little bit back and forth and we'll see if we can find your best. Go ahead.

Oh, I'm blinking. All right. I'm just going to repeat my coffee order and then I guess you can be Gary. All right. I've got an extra hot flat white for takeaway. Oh, that sounds pretty good to me. I'm going to take it away and then I'm going to go back to Sydney where I live.

Okay, listen, I just hope that people are able to see your face, Jake, because it just looks like the look of a jazz musician, just like deep in a solo, but it was not earned at all. It was so bad.

I disagree. Melissa, you're not going to be the tastemaker of the accents on this show. I'm sorry. I cannot allow it. So you do the accent, you do the latte, he takes it, he leaves. He has been coming in regularly now. Not every day, but I have somehow avoided...

speaking in front of him and i normally in a little chatterbox at work and i i just dip my lip as soon as he walks in so the question on this one just to kind of paraphrase is a guy named gary came into your coffee shop and how old is gary about i'd say he's in his 60s oh 60s okay a little silver fox is he handsome doesn't matter yeah any guy wearing a panama hat is attractive

I think that's where we just switched dynamics and roles on this podcast. It looks like he's on a safari. That's a hot look. Anyway, go ahead, Jay. So a 60-year-old guy comes in and first, because of the hat he's wearing, you use an Australian accent when you hand him his latte. And since that moment, you have not interacted and you have avoided him. And so the question is, what do I do now?

Yes, what do I do now? I think this one could be pretty clean. Garf, you got anything to start? Because I know where I'm going. I think we're probably going to go in the same direction. I think that you... Well, how long ago did this happen?

This was, I think, about two months ago. And I know based on my accent that I had now, it's easy to believe he might have thought it was a joke accent. And I don't know how to explain this phenomenon, but it was so perfect at the moment. And it came out so eloquently that I have to believe, maybe this is me just overthinking it, but I have to believe that he thought it was real. So I really am not sure. Yeah.

I'm going to suggest that you just jump back into regular Melissa. I think you probably can get away with it. It's been two months. And, you know, he's wearing a Panama hat. This guy's probably floating in his own little airspace to begin with. So I think you could probably get away with now if you got to call out the order, you can just go back. Or I would suggest the slow movement.

back to your regular accent. Don't hit the Australian so much. Maybe act like you talk a little funny every other word, and then two interactions later, you're back to regular Melissa. So that's my pitch. My pitch is you just go back to normal or you're two conversations away from de-evolving into normal. Melissa, I think that's solid advice, but I'm going to go in a slightly different direction here. And I mean this sincerely. I think

Every once in a while in this great life on this weird planet of ours, we are struck with moments of brilliance.

Was I when I did my Australian? No. Were you when you did your Australian with me? No. Were you the day that you gave Gary his first latte? Were you touched by whatever in this world is greater than us, an angel or what have you? Yes, you were. So here's what I'm going to recommend for you. The only problem you get into is a little old thing called anxiety and overthinking it.

The next time Gary comes in, you just walk up to him and without thought, let that accent come out and let's see what happens. Because it might be a weird electricity between you and that silver fox that creates the best Australian accent you've ever done.

And the only way you're going to know is if he's gifted you this thing or not is to either fall flat on your face or nail an Australian accent. You ever heard of people who get in like car crashes and they have brain damage and then they wake up and they can like play Beethoven? Yes.

Right? So my kind of advice is the brains are very weird things. We don't understand them. And I think there's a fighting chance that you and this guy in this coffee shop have tapped into something that has transformed you and given you the ability to do accent work that you never had before. And I would say, don't let your thoughts get in the way of that. Just lead out and see what happens.

So just so we can put a finer point on this, what is the path you're going to take in your situation with Panama Gary, who thinks you're some version of Australian? What are you going to do? I think, guys, your advice is solid and probably the wiser of the two. And

I should probably take that. But I do think I am kind of buying into this cosmic energy thing and I might just get weird with it. So here's why I push that. And, you know, here's the reality. I'm not a human being who is afraid to embarrass myself. So the worst case scenario.

is he goes, can I get a latte? And you get that stomachache. You're going to get butterflies in your stomach. And then you got to tell Melissa to stop thinking and you're going to turn around and go, here's your latte for you, Gary. And in that moment, Melissa, because I didn't think, I let Gary's energy hit me. So if you let it hit you, and then he says-

Oh, thank you so much. Are you from Australia? And don't be Melissa. Just go, I am actually, I'm from outside of Sydney. I lost it because I started thinking. It's bad again. It got horrible again. Because I started thinking. It was a moment. Yeah, it showed. But the first one was pretty good. Can we agree on that? Not bad, but then you went like- I fell apart. Then you went like- I fell apart. Yeah, sick leprechaun. Agreed. My second- Give it to the world. So I fell apart. But my point to you, Melissa-

is grab that drink, turn around, and just fucking go for it. And worst case scenario, if it's dog shit, then you both laugh together and he has a great story and you try to hurt us. Okay.

I like, I've come around on that a little bit. That is the fun approach. I, I, and then I think you figured it out at the moment, but, but yeah, it started from fun. So maybe, maybe you, absolutely. I'm going to spend every day in the mirror practicing to make you guys proud.

We will do this together. Melissa, thank you for the call. There's one set of footprints. Thank you, Melissa. Hold on, hold on. There's one set of footprints. What does that mean? Keep us posted. Appreciate it a lot. Bye-bye now. Take care now. All right, bye-bye now. Take it easy. Thanks a lot. Florida, love it. Take care. Bye-bye. See you later. Thanks a bundle. Bye.

HelpfulPod at gmail.com.

That was a HeadGum Podcast.