4: Don’t Call it Body Lotion with Lamorne Morris
30:12 Share

This season, Instacart has your back to school. As in, they've got your back to school lunch favorites, like snack packs and fresh fruit. And they've got your back to school supplies, like backpacks, binders, and pencils. And they've got your back when your kid casually tells you they have a huge school project due tomorrow.

Let's face it, we were all that kid. So first call your parents to say I'm sorry, and then download the Instacart app to get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes all school year long. Get a $0 delivery fee for your first three orders while supplies last. Minimum $10 per order. Additional terms apply. Okay, it's time to commit. 2024 is the year for prioritizing yourself. Begin your new smile journey with Byte, and you could start seeing results in just two to three weeks.

Just order your at-home impression kit today for only $14.95 at Byte.com. Byte clear liners are doctor-directed and delivered to your door. Treatment costs thousands less than braces, plus they offer financing options, except eligible insurance, and you can pay with your HSA, FSA.

Get 80% off your impression kit when you use code WONDERY at Byte.com. That's B-Y-T-E dot com. Start your confidence journey today with Byte.

Pew, pew, pew, pew. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Pow, pow, pow. Pew, pew, pew, pew. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Pow, pow.

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the podcast. We're here to help. This is episode four. We have a really special one today, don't we, Garfman? Yes, because it's for the first time we have a guest. We kind of sometimes think we'll bring in friends of one of us or of the show and have them sort of help with the advice, and this is our first guest.

Yeah, he's a great friend and a co-worker from New Girl for a lot of seasons. Mr. Lamorne Morris joins the show. And I just got to say, I think it's a perfect call for him specifically. Yes, Lamorne is great on this call. And we get into this later on in the show, but he's also, he directed my character on New Girl, but we won't talk about that. No, he didn't.

Yes, he did. Oh, wait, he directed that episode. Jake, I'm not going to do this, but but I think Lamorne is not remember you from that. So that's a great thing to say. So if you're listening to this, you will hear at the beginning. Stop, Kevin. We don't need you right now. Hunk of the show. I think you'll hear at the beginning. Lamorne definitely knows everything.

who I am and does remember me from new girls. So a little backstory is Gareth in season seven did a very small part, uh, on the show where they give, they give small parts names. That's interesting. Keep going. Security guard.

Brian, you named him Brian. The name is Brian. And I don't know where it came from, but it was established. I know where it came from on set. You yelled, I'm Brian, the security guard. And the writer said, why is he doing this? And I said, he's my buddy. He'll never stop.

Listen, all that matters is it is on IMDb, Brian. All that matters is you told me you went to IMDb and put the name Brian in, Garth. We got where we did. Let's look forward. Go ahead, Jake. Let's keep it on the pod, okay? Good Lord. Agreed. So Lamorne Morris comes in today and absolutely crushes it. He's just the best. And we have now started opening up

up the podcast to special guests and we've got more fun ones to come. So without further ado, which is my catchphrase, wait, this is Brian all over again. This is Brian again.

We bring you the Garfman himself. Me, the new Garfman. What? A.K.A. Brian from New Girl. I don't know what's happening anymore. A.K.A. Security Guard. Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy the pod.

And we're brought to you by Philo. You know Philo. We love Philo. Philo's got current seasons of shows that I and Jake and Shark can't miss on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery, and TLC. They've got shows like The Office, Martin. If you haven't watched Martin, and The Office, Martin.

Martin is one of the greatest shows of all time. Friends. They have a library of 75,000 movies and TV shows, all which I can rewatch anytime for a whole year. You don't miss a minute of anything.

They've got Catfish. Jake and I probably wouldn't be doing this show without Catfish, to be fully honest with you. You don't believe me? Go watch Catfish. That's what got Jake into it. He was watching the Catfish Marathon. Tons of stuff. Kid shows, SpongeBob, Paw Patrol, classics, Golden Girls, Best Pilot of All Time, and then reality shows like The Jersey Shore,

But best of all, with Philo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contracts, no hassles, just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to Philo.tv slash Gil sent me and check it out for a free seven day trial. That's Philo, P-H-I-L-O dot TV slash Gil sent me to start watching. All right.

All right, we are brought to you by BlueNile.com. We love Blue Nile. The road to getting engaged can be long and full of memories, or it can be short and thrilling, or somewhere in between. But the road to finding the perfect engagement ring is a straightforward path every time. All you've got to do is head over to BlueNile.com. Kevin, you just recently got married. Do you have an engagement-

I got engaged before I knew of Blue Nile, and I had an odd experience where Leah and I went to a place together and we're looking at different rings, and the person we were looking at

multiple times throughout, which I guess I appreciated the honesty, would go, I mean, I wouldn't get that, but if you like it, go for it. Super weird vibe made one of the more exciting moments of our life. Very awkward throughout it. Blue Nile would have been perfect. We wouldn't have had

very awkward customer service like we did at another place. I was just going to say, if you go to BlueNile.com, you can create a bigger, more brilliant piece than you ever imagined. Blue Nile is the original online jeweler since 1999. And these are ethical standards. The ethical standards are observed when sourcing the diamonds and jewelry.

Everyone is insured. When it shows up, it doesn't look like an engagement ring. 100% satisfaction guaranteed. There's even more stuff. Okay, just go to bluenile.com. So right now, get 30% off. Select lab-grown diamonds on bluenile.com. Plus, use code HERETOHELP to get $50 off your engagement ring purchase of $500 or more. That's $50 off with the code HERETOHELP at

Blue Nile dot com. Blue Nile dot com. Hi, can you hear me? Yeah, we got you perfectly. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me on. It's an honor and a privilege. Well, it's an honor to have you. Can we get your name, please? Can I give a fake name? You can give whatever you want. Sure. OK, my name is Emma. Emma, you're on with Gareth Reynolds, Jake Johnson and our special guest, a dear friend.

Chicago native, Lamorne Morris. Welcome to the podcast, Lamorne. Thank you for having me. Oh my gosh.

Thank you. Hi, Lamorne. Hey, Emma. Emma, real quick, what's your real name? That's a great question. I would love to tell you, but I'm not going to. Good. I'm with you, Emma. Don't be bullied by Lamorne. It's going to be hard, but I'll try. Emma, we brought Lamorne on today because we got your email. We think he's an expert on this subject. So, Emma, please go ahead. And would you tell us a little bit about why you're calling in today?

Well, I'm calling because I had this super embarrassing story happen to me, and it was so humiliating that I couldn't tell anybody at all. And when I saw you post on Instagram about sharing embarrassing stories, I was like, okay, perfect opportunity to admit a story that I would never have shared otherwise. So that's what I'm calling about. It's a good start. It's a good start. We love this. Yeah.

So just a few months ago, I had some friends from college who asked me to pet sit for them for a week. And this was like the most exciting thing ever because I live with roommates and there's no alone time and I'm an introvert. And so it's just always busy. And so I jumped at this opportunity to just

be alone for a whole week. And so when I get there, I am so excited. I get to just be a human for an entire week. And of course, that consists of just

near constant masturbation because there is absolutely no place to do that in private in like the way that I would normally want to. So as this week goes on, I am just so excited because I can even do it in the living room, like in public. It's just the most exhilarating thing. The whole week long, I am just having the time of my life.

And then the week comes to a close about an hour before I'm supposed to leave. I've just finished my final session and I look up and realize that staring directly at me is a pet camera. Oh my God. And

I immediately go into the biggest panic attack of my entire life and totally blacked out and threw the camera out the window because, you know, what else are you going to do in that moment? You know, you can't throw yourself out the window. It's all recorded, so.

I'm understanding the fake name a little bit now, I think. I kind of understand the fake name part. So, Lamar, really quickly, you know now for sure why we brought you on for this one, correct? I don't know anybody who masturbates at a level that my man Lamar Morris does. I go to work. Oh, man, is her the same way? Yeah, but...

When I do it, I always make sure I look out for that little red dot in the sky. You know what I mean? You've been talking about that red dot since the 80s, Lamar. I know. How can you tell, though, if it's wireless? There's no red dot. Listen, if you didn't see a red dot, I got news for you. They may not have been recording. I'm praying. First of all, the question is basically, and I'm asking, not telling...

You spent a week house-sitting some pets. You masturbated all week. You're afraid that they saw, correct? Correct, and I have not spoken to them since. I am too humiliated, and I have no idea how to approach this. Are they close friends of yours? They are, but they are out of state, so I don't actually have to see them that often. How long ago was this? No.

Just a few months ago. Okay. Just. I got news for you. They saw it. I mean, I think for sure. Oh, man. And I also think everybody in your extended group of friends has heard about it. I like that you just see this as a real masturbation holiday. That's very relatable. Anyone who I've ever pet sat for stayed in their house. Absolutely. Like when I had roommates, it was like when I lived with my girlfriend at the time and she would leave town. It was just...

I really understand the let's let it rip attitude and I fully support it. So I don't want you to think that we're like, you know, what you did is look, I've been there. I think that's great. I support it. Unfortunately, yeah, technology has caught up with us. How sitting masturbators and. All right, look, this is shameful and embarrassing, but.

I also, if I'm alone in a hotel room, the first thing you got to let it rip. The way they call the body lotion, it's like body lotion hotel. Really? This is masturbation sauce. Can I interrupt for a second? Because Lamar is making faces as if he doesn't let it rip. He's shaming us. That's a lie. Come on. No, no, no. It's not that I... Listen, as a single man...

you know, these hands don't get much use because I can tell you others do. You get what I'm trying to say? Nobody gets what you're saying. We're talking about masturbating, buddy. What I'm saying, yeah, what I'm trying to say is I get, you know what I'm saying? No, Gareth and I have all admitted that, you know, we looked at Rip and you said something about these hands get used. Are you talking about on yourself?

No, no, they don't get used. They're unused. I date around sometimes. And I got to say, if I'm home alone, I like to take that opportunity to maybe spend an evening alone with a lovely young lady that I am dating. Okay, how about if there's no lady there?

I'm jerking it. Okay. There we go. That's what we need you. I jerk it from the back. I jerk it from the side. I like to get a mirror. You know what I'm saying? I like to put that mirror on the floor. I like to get creative. Okay. Slow down. You've overcorrected. You've overcorrected. I like to take all the security cameras in the house and put them in a circle. You know what I'm saying? Okay.

Just so I can really make sure. The idea of you setting up with mirrors is incredible.

It's like the end to enter the dragon, but with masturbating. You're laughing. I'm out here taking notes though. So thank you for that. So here's where we're at. So you let that, you let that week go. It's a tough situation. It is very embarrassing. When you said the way that I want, what does that actually mean? Like when you said, what do you mean? You said you had the living room to yourself. I want to know how embarrassing this gets before we start figuring out if there's a move.

I mean, are you just like quietly masturbating under a blanket on a couch or how are you Lamorne Morris in it? Do you have mirrors set up? Are you getting weird? Where are we at here? That's right. Oh man, we're talking like exhibitionist, full volume, problematic types of videos, just everything that you could possibly

Possibly imagine types of videos. Can you give us a feel of what's problematic? Yeah. What's your search history looking like? Oh, just, you know, power dynamic kind of thing. Emma, I'm with you on power dynamic. So I knew you would be. The question comes when you when you finished this week. Right. And you so you I'm going to just try to put myself in your situation here. Your house sitting, you're fired up. What a great week. You masturbate like crazy. You had yourself, you know, like a little staycation, if you will.

then you see the camera and you know, if this is serious, which is what we're taking it as, that's a fucking living nightmare. If I had friends who saw me masturbate for a week, I would be so deeply embarrassed. And I would have, you guys, play this as real. Play this as real. Oh my God. It really is the worst. That's a deep shame. I am telling you, I have never been closer to jumping out of a window. I understand. I really like the panic. You have to just not be here anymore.

So this is the worst thing that could have happened. So when it ended and that you, they come back and get the keys, there's no turnover. You didn't have to see them. Nope. Nope. I left it under a trash can and that was it. I just never spoke to them again and haven't heard anything either. So do you have a mutual friend who you trust like a buddy? Cause I think what we need to get to here in terms of your extended group and just a life of living with a certain level of embarrassment and shame is

I think we got to know if they saw it because there is a reality of they have a pet cam, but they don't watch it. Right. Like I had, but a buddy of mine had, uh, is a house sitter and he was house sitting for another friend. And you could see in the video what that person's doing. And my friend said like, you know, you know, because a light would go on in movement, right?

Okay. So we got to just figure out like some people have these like a ring camera and they're not even set up anymore. So do you have a trusted third friend, a Lamorne Morris, if you will, that you could go to, to kind of, you know, bridge the situation? Do you have anybody near them that you trust? Possibly, but would I have to tell them the stories? What you could do in this situation is you could ask them to,

If they ever said anything about the house sitting, you could say like you really enjoyed it. Blah, blah, blah. Go ahead, Lamar. Or you could say you lost something. You could say, is there any way you could check the cameras? I can't seem to find my credit card. You can't do that because if they didn't watch the videos. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, I got news for you. These cameras, they record sometimes 60 days. That's it. Ooh.

Yeah, sometimes less. Sometimes less. Sometimes less. They can't have forever storage. But it would be interesting if you were like, I left my rings and they were like, did you check your vagina? Because we checked the tape. And...

It feels like that's where most of your fingers were. It would also be a nightmare if you said, hey, will you check the tapes? And they go, we haven't watched them. And then they sit and watch and go, she asked us to watch her masturbate for seven days. So we don't know where your wallet is, but we know where it isn't. Yeah, that feels like its own exhibitionist kind of a thing. I don't know if I can do that.

Gareth, what you got? Well, I think that first of all, do you know what kind of camera it was? Have you done any research into kind of the like, okay, what kind of camera was it? And what do you know, as far as the time that it holds on to a recording and how you know if it's recording?

Okay, it's been months ago. So let me tell you, I did block out a lot of this for trauma reasons. But sure, I do remember, I googled the type of camera that it was, and I was excited that it was not plugged in. But then I found out it was a wireless camera and had a second panic. Emma, do you remember the name of the brand?

Oh, I think it was called Pet Cam, but it was something very similar to that name, like a play on words. Okay, okay. Hey, listen to me. It looks like a little Apple charger. You're good. So, Lamorne, you're kind of going with... It wasn't plugged in. You're kind of going with, but plugged in doesn't necessarily matter.

No. Unless it had a battery. If it wasn't plugged into a wall, there's no power source. Yeah. That's true. Well, it means at some point it probably stopped recording, if it was. But I'm just curious. Yeah, it could very easily be on battery when they left. I'm going to kind of go towards the advice mode here for this call. And Emma, as we've said before, the advice is not necessarily good, but we're trying to be on your side. We're trying to help figure it out. And, you know, the truth is,

Getting caught potentially masturbating for a week straight is a humiliating life experience, but they have not brought it up. So I personally, if I were you, I wouldn't do the third party thing I was saying.

I would bury this in the deep graveyard of secrets and move forward. I would never bring it up. I would just keep this as one of those life shameful moments. And hopefully one day in years you're drinking with them or you're at an event and you can hint at it. And hopefully either you get the truth or just bury this one and move on. You know, that was, that was going to be my plan until your podcast. Lamor and Gareth, you guys got any thoughts on what you would do if you were Emma?

you know, I would look them square in the eye and I would use keywords to see if they flinch. Give me an example. Pretend that you're at a wedding. Yeah. You house that for me. You're Lamorne. I'm Jake. You masturbated for a week straight. You saw there's a camera. We see each other in four months out of a wedding. I'm a friend. What's up? Back of my mind, knowing that I shot all over your sheets. OK, cool.

So, Jay Johnson, what's going on, man? Not much, my man. How about you, bud? Man, me and my girl, we got into it yesterday. You know, it's crazy. It was a very interesting power dynamic that we had. Okay, that's cool, man. Cool, cool. Did you get any of that shrimp cocktail? That was good. I had like two cups of it. Oh, man, you know one thing that I do love is shrimp cocktail when I'm eating it. Are you okay? Yeah.

I'm good, man. I'm good. Say, Jake, real quick question. But while I got you here, because it's rare that we see each other. Has there ever, do you ever get a chance to be alone? You know what I'm saying? When the old ball. I'm going to take off, Lamorne. You're acting really weird and I don't appreciate this vibe at a wedding of a close friend of ours. My man, that's awesome. Also, I watched you jerk off in my house, man, and I don't find that appropriate. No! No!

That was a great demonstration. I so appreciate the role play. Thank you, guys. Garfield, you got anything here? Well, first of all, what a great power dynamic. I'm a little turned up, so I get it. You and me both. Here's what I'll say. I think Jake's advice is right. I think, Lamorne, if you want to know, then something like that is the way to go. But I think Jake's right.

In order to know, you've got to inform them more, and I just think that's probably right. And I'm just going to tell you, my gut, my gut, is that they didn't see it. I don't think they saw it. The only thing that bothers me is that you haven't spoken to them in so long. So it might be worth...

floating out a text for some reason, just to not even find out, just to kind of like be clear, we're moving forward. Maybe you saw me diddling for a week. This is good, yeah. Maybe you didn't. But either way, I have now realized that we are moving past. We live in a different world. We live in a post-me-doing-this world. And let's just move forward. Hey, Gareth, could that text be about the pets?

I don't I think if it was like a week ago, I think if it was a week ago, yes. But I think that it's been months. I feel like it should be something else. Otherwise, I feel like you're kind of still living in it a little bit. Lamar, you're pointing a finger. Lamar, go ahead. Yeah. But I also I also want I want you to be really, really careful here because we are walking a very, very dangerous line. OK, we don't want to we don't want to kink shame anybody.

because everybody does it. Everybody does it. It's almost like you went to take a shit and realized you left the door open and there was a camera pointing. It's just natural. What you're doing is natural. Yeah, great analogy. It's natural. Also, when you're talking like this, why has your voice changed? Because honestly, I'm a scientist and a professor of love, logic, and also labias. So I'm here. But here's what's different. No, we all masturbate. We don't all masturbate in other people's homes while their pets are watching us. I do.

I have just admitted to it, Jake. No, I'm talking hotels. I've house sat and whacked it in there with the cat sitting next to me. What are you going to do? Yeah, gross. I've got a question, Emma, in terms of the email reach out, did you bond with any of their pets? Oh, absolutely. But what, what kind of pets do they have? I know it's going to be ironic, but a cat. Okay. So you, you connected with the cab a little bit.

Oh, very much so. Yeah. I would personally go a little bit different than Gareth and something. And I would write something like, you know, Hey guys, just thinking at what's the cat's name.

I'm hoping you're changing the cat's name too. I don't, I don't, we don't want to be able to chase it down. Gertrude. It's Gertrude. That's the real name. Okay. So could you possibly write something of, and is this weird to say something like, Hey, hope you guys are good. Had a funny memory of whatever.

What a great cat. And if they do not write back, that means you are an enormous character in their discussion of the girl who masturbated in front of nonstop. And you're,

A huge character. If they write back like, aw, A-W-W, you're the best, then they didn't watch it, is my guess. Okay. Guys, what do you guys... What do people think? Well, here's why I wouldn't. This is a tough one. This is a hard one. Let's say you hit their car in the driveway, and you're wondering for a while, do they know I hit their car? I don't think being like...

How's the car driving? I think get away from this area of thinking as much as possible, because let's say they did. Let's say they did. Then you're going like, hey, let's circle back on what I, you know, played with myself all week in your house. I think you go with something more like, I don't know. I don't know the specifics of the relationship, but something if you can think of some other reason to reach out.

It's just saying, hey, we no longer we don't do this anymore.

And the way you can find out maybe is if they ever ask you to do it again. If they ever ask you to do it again, you're in the clear. Or they're perverts. Yeah, or they're perverts. They like that power dynamic. Because they might say, hey, we're going to take our cat with us this time. We're going to set up some more pet cams. Do you mind house sitting for just the night? Can we watch you house sit tonight? So, Emma, I got a question for you. Yeah.

Uh, what do you kind of want to do here? Cause you know, what we've kind of found is people who call in have their instinct and how they want to handle it. What's your gut telling you to do?

My gut was telling me to do the same thing that you suggested, Jake. I was just going to bury this and pretend like it never happened, like really push it back in my memory. I did tell one of my friends and I said, listen, I'm going to tell you a story and then we're never going to talk about it again. So that was sort of how I preface the story to anybody. So honestly, I was going to do that. That's sort of what I'm feeling is right. But I do like the idea to send a text, maybe unrelated. Now, I've got a question. Is this out of character for you and your friend group?

Yeah, I think so. Like, I'll be honest, if Lamorne stayed at my house and he masturbated every day, truthfully, all bits aside, that would be out of character and it would warrant a talk. Now, if he masturbated in the shower or, you know, outside of public, but if I can't... Not my location. But if I looked at a video, I was like watching my dogs in the living room and he's watching porn with his pants, I would go, hey, Lamorne, what's up, my man? But there are other friends...

Maybe Gareth is one of them that I would be less surprised by. Thank you. I live in rarefied air. If the Garf man was standing on my dining room table with no bottoms on, I would go like, hey, man, just don't break anything, my friend. Stop wobbling so much.

Stop dancing while you do it. Just finish. Why do you lose your balance when you end? Why do you giggle so much? What's so funny about that? It's been going on for a long time. In your group of friends, if the story circulated that this happened, would everybody kind of laugh or would it be shocking?

Shocking. I am the professional put together one out of the group. I'm the one that the answer is. I'm the one that is probably looked at as like a mom figure. So this is very out of character. What do you do for a living? I would love to tell you that because you are going to love that, but I'm not going to tell you on air. Can you give us a without any specifics? Tell us or you're a school teacher.

It's definitely in the same vein of this conversation. I think you got two paths forward. I think it's an either bury it, but I got to say, as we're talking and getting to know you a little bit, I don't think burying it's the move. I think that you got to sniff around and see if there's a bomb in these woods a little bit. I think you got to do the random text and just start a dialogue.

And see if there's any smoke. If the way LeBron and I did that terrible example of the wedding, I think there's something to that. OK. What do you guys think? Yeah. Either way, opening it up, kind of clearing the air in whatever way or even if you don't have to clearing the air and just starting to see the vibe. I bet.

I bet you'll be able to tell a little bit of what's going on. You never know with women. They're good at hiding things. No, for sure. I think you come out of the closet with this one. I think you let everybody know you're a freak.

Let everybody know you like to get busy. But Lamorne, how would she do that? If you were her, how would you do this? Like to your group of friends, how do you come out that way? Yeah. Accidentally, accidentally send a video of yourself that, you know, when you were in the office alone and say late night sesh with myself, you know what I'm saying? And then be like, oh, my bad, you guys. Does this does this confuse you? You know, we got to be more open, man. I got to say, hold out.

We've done a lot of these so far. That's probably the worst advice we've ever heard, my man. No, no, no, it's not. It's not. You know, it's like when... Hey, hey, hey, late night sesh. You know what I'm saying? Because this one got away from me, everybody. What's going to happen is they're not going to expect this from you. And your secret of loving to masturbate in front of people's cats in their homes, on their furniture, in the refrigerator. Mute this man, Kevin. Mute this man. Gareth, in closing, you got anything?

In closing, look, there's some options. I'm curious exactly what path you'll take. I mean, you basically said it, but I just want to, again, be clear. I have house sat. I have masturbated on the couch where they hang out. I've done it with the animals adjacent. So as far as you ever going, you should not feel bad about what you did. When I have people come to my house and I can take care of my cat, I know that

They're definitely doing strange stuff in the places where I hang out. You know what I just realized? I think I might want to start a business and it's called We House It and We Don't Masturbate in Your House. I'm going to start one called Master Sitters. But if you have pets and you need someone to house it, I don't want people masturbating on my couch. I don't want people using it as a... You're not going to...

You're going to have two people and they're not going to be good. No, I'm doing one that's called Petstervators. And actually, we lean in. And we promise, our guarantee is that we are going to be playing with ourselves around your animals. Just like you would. Just like anybody would. That's gross. Gross. So, I'll see you on Shark Tank, Emma.

I would love to see that idea. I got to tell you, Barbara from Shark Tank would go, now that's a good idea. I am a real estate mogul and I always masturbate. Mr. Wonderful, I'd love for you. I'd love for you and Barbara to partner up. That was kind of my dream pairing. Mark Cuban, I always masturbate. I masturbate in Dallas. In the locker rooms.

We actually have a jack check in the Mavericks locker room. So, Emma, I would say what I want to push you towards, but I keep going back and forth. My feeling is maybe there's a random email, but I also feel like you're asking for trouble. You masturbated in their house for a week straight. You had a lot of fun. Nothing has come of it. You have not heard.

heard she did well god bless you you have not heard from your that group of friends there's not chatter there's no smoke i think you got to you know swallow this grenade to just kind of move forward all right i think that's pretty pretty solid advice because if they do know i've established the connection

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lamor and Gareth, you got anything else in closing? No, I think that's right. I think I think I think reach out. Let's clear the air. But I'm curious what's going on with Lamor. Lamor in closing. You got any final advice? Don't be ashamed who you are. You know, you're a freak.

You know, I, I'm not ashamed. I'm not ashamed. I got a lot of straight to camera roll videos out there. What does that mean? Do you want to plug any of those? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look out for my hidden folder in my iPhone. Shout out. Shout out to the dog picks folder on my phone. So at the end here, we always like to ask, uh,

What do you think that you're going to actually do? I think that I am going to bury this in my trauma memories and pretend it never happened and send a text to reach out just to see if they're going to pretend everything's okay too. That makes a lot of sense. All right.

Well, I want to say thank you for calling in. I also want to say thank you to the always charming, the always handsome, the freak in the sheets and the freak on the streets, Mr. Lamorne Morris. Damn. God damn. Hold on. Give me a second. Thank you. We'll make sure these cameras are on. Bye, everybody. Thanks, Emma. Bye. Thanks, Emma. Bye, y'all. Bye, guys.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out all of his work at OliverRaleigh.com. The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke.

And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com. And if you would like to be on our show, please email us at helpfulpod at gmail.com. That was a hate gun podcast.