2: The Santa Dilemma
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All right, welcome to We're Here to Help with me, Gareth, and Jake, Jake Johnson. Here we are another week, another episode. We're here to try to

Garfman, how are you doing? I'm pretty good. How are you doing, Jake? I'm doing good. Are you still on tour? Yes, I'm in beautiful San Jose in Sheraton. It's just lovely. What a lovely time here I'm having. I'm lying.

This week we have two calls. So we don't want people to think that each week we only do one call. It's going to kind of depend. Obviously that first call was pretty epic, but we feel pretty good about our two problems today, our two callers and how we did not to make it all about us.

Both of these calls are really fun. We're going to have a very different one. One's about a mother and her son and a problem her son's having. And another one is about a gift that somebody gave their boss. So we really hope you enjoy them. Yes. And as usual, please tell people about this podcast, like it, share it.

Subscribe it. Let us know. And if you have a problem you want us to help with, email us at helpfulpod at gmail.com. That's the email. Some people are saying it's a different email. They're wrong. You got that right, Garfield. Yeah. Well, you know, I really think I'm finding my form. I really do. Hey, Kevin, the hunk of this podcast. You got anything in closing? Yeah, I love that up top. You're like, you know, the calls are great, but we did a really good job, too.

Let's definitely cut all this stuff out. This was absolute garbage. And enjoy the show.

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Hey guys, how's it going? Great. How about you? Good. How are you? Good. So can we ask your name, please? Sure. Tori. Tori. And where are you from, Tori? Alabama. Well, where in Alabama? I am from Fairhope, Alabama. It is 97 degrees here right now. And what do you do in Fairhope? I'm a mom. Nice. How many kids you got? Okay, great.

I got two kids, Rocky and Sonny, and I hang out with them and that's my life. Pretty cool. Your kids' names are Rocky and Sonny? Yeah. Pretty cool names. Thank you. And what made you call today? What can we try potentially unsuccessfully to help you with? Okay, I'm calling about Rocky. He is two. He will be three in September.

And every time we come home and our yard guy is here, Santos, I say, oh, Santos is here. And Rocky says, Santa? Santa is here? Oh, dear. Rocky is 100% convinced that Santos is Santa. I swear, like, they look nothing, nothing alike.

So, to be clear, Santos isn't a big jolly man with a big white beard and long white hair? Okay, so Santos is there doing yard work and stuff? Yeah, he's just there just working hard on our yards, and Rocky thinks he's Santa Claus, and I genuinely don't know. Okay. I genuinely don't know where to go from here. All right, Tori, hold on. So, the first time this happened, and you go like,

Hi, Santos. And a little two-year-old goes, Santa? What was your first reaction? I think I laughed and I didn't, I just didn't touch it. Cause like Santa's a big deal. Sure. Okay. And how are you convinced? What has your son said or done to fully convince you that he believes that

Santa Claus, the man who comes through your chimney on Christmas and gives you gifts,

Is a weekly worker in your yard? It's the obsession. So he's talking about... He is talking about Santa Claus. Like, absolutely no denying it. Okay. And I think, like, in a way, maybe he's happy to lie to himself because there's no way he knows or there's no way he thinks they look alike. Right. Right.

But in his world, Santa Claus is at his house once a week. Yeah, exactly. And I would guess the fear here is a little bit that when Christmas rolls around, it's going to be very confusing when he starts to see pictures of some big fat guy with a beard and long hair who's not the guy from the yard. Yes. And he's such an emotional kid. I can't like I don't.

I don't know where to take it from here. Is the fear that there'll be a time where the math doesn't add up and he's going to realize Santa Claus isn't real earlier than you want him to realize this?

Yeah. Well, that would be my fear. Yeah. There's that, but there's also that Santos comes to my front door and then Rocky runs to him and yells, Santa, Santa, and hugs him. Which is so possible. Which is amazing. Amazing. Now, what does, I don't know what your relationship is with Santos, but does Santos have any idea what's happening? No.

No, no, no. Santos is just like this kid loves me. Yeah. No, he's totally in the dark. Like we're driving by and Rocky's just like waving like so enthusiastically at him. And Santos just thinks like Rocky just loves the lawnmower. And do you and Santos have a nice back and forth? You guys chat a little bit.

We do. He doesn't speak a ton of English, but we do go back and forth a little. Yeah, he's super nice. So to Santos, there's just this little boy who, because from Santos' point of view, he's not hearing Santa. He's hearing his name. So he's probably a little surprised that, one, the kid loves him.

And two, you told him his name and he probably feels very uncomfortable around Rocky because I guarantee most of the houses, they're not going like Santos. What's up, man? Thank you for being here. Do you have a present? Give me a present, Santos. So I know we got to see this situation. One from your POV, two from Rocky's and three from Port Santos's point of view.

Yeah, because you're in a really interesting little predicament. So your question is, and I'm asking, not telling you your question. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it is what is it? What do you do now? Yeah. Like, what do I do now? How do I break it to Rocky? When do I break it to him? Like, do I wait a couple of years? You know, this is a trick. And what's your just to start. So we know where you're at. What's your instinct right now?

My instinct. Like, what are you kind of leaning towards? So obviously it's been a year and you haven't told him. So are you kind of thinking of waiting? Are you thinking like, I got to tell this kid right away is Sonny older or younger?

Sonny's younger. So Rocky's going to tell Sonny soon, by the way, Santa works at our yard. And then they're going to tell kids. He's going to tell kids at school. Just so you guys know, Santa works in my yard. He's a gardener. Santa does my leaves. Well, and that's also one of the risks of waiting too long is if I wait too long and he gets to the age where some kid spoils for him that Santa's not real, then he's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, you're in trouble. Santa's not real. Okay, Tori, I got advice.

And I think it's solid. I think it's solid. Okay. Well, it's yours. So, I mean, you're biased, but okay. I always think it's pretty solid. I'm leading out with confidence. I don't have intelligence. I have confidence. That's right. It's gotten you far. So here's what I think, Tori.

I think you're entering a real danger zone if you don't talk about it, because you're going to then have two kids who believe your gardener is Santa Claus and his other workers might be variations of elves. And you're going to enter a situation that starts getting so confusing that you're going to, in explaining it, you're going to get caught.

And then eventually they're going to tell a friend, like the example is my, a buddy of mine growing up, his dad as a joke taught him that yellow was orange and orange was yellow. It was just like, it was just a mean dad game. Right. And so when my buddy Charlie would see yellow, he would say orange.

I still remember sitting with him in like third grade and being like, what the fuck is wrong with you? That is orange. And him being like, it's yellow. And then having the different colors and having other friends be like, that's not even close. And then we got the backstory that his dad did this with a bunch of different words.

And it became like a whole thing. So here's what, here's my advice to you. Here's my advice. I would in preparation for Christmas coming in December,

start reading some early books that have pictures. And when Rocky goes, that's not Santa. That's a fat old white man with a beard. You go, no, that's Santa. And then you, when he points outside, you go, oh no, honey, that's Santos. Okay. So you get out of it with the, I would start your Christmas celebration and decoration with,

Bring out the books. Go to a Walgreens or a CVS and get a dancing Santa. And when you see him, you go... You're that family now. You go, Santa Claus. And then when you see Santos, you find out his last name. Let's just say it's Ramirez. And you go, Santa Claus. Santos Ramirez. Everybody is a first and last name in your world. Okay. Okay.

I was leaning in that direction, too. I was going to... Pictures, year-round pictures of Santa Claus like he's a relative was going to be my first advice. I do have two bad ideas. Yeah, let's hear this. I figure, yeah, there's nothing wrong with some options. Right, Tori? I mean, just, you know, maybe? No, I agree. Okay, all right. So some bad options. Again, these are bad options. Here's the first one.

And I don't love it. Fire Santos. Don't. No. Don't blame Santos. Moving on. Santos is taking on a lot of shrapnel in that one. Imagine Santos telling his wife why he was fired for that. Yeah, well, you can't tell him why. Just walk through the situation. You can't explain why. Okay. Option two. You found a cheaper. Okay. I'm just saying. Option two. It's always there. That's correct. I think it's wrong. You're right. And I'm just saying it's wrong, but it's out there. Here's option two. Santos dresses like Santa.

Yeah, I kind of like that one. Santos starts doing yard work in the 98 degree Alabamian heat in a red absorbing heat suit with a hat and with a satchel where he's maybe putting the yard waste

but it's still tracking. And then we do that for about a year. That's imprinting. Then it's out there. Then you can tell Santos, hey, we're going to take away the extra 30 bucks a week. You don't have to wear that anymore. Rocky now understands it. He's passed it on to Sonny. We're back on track.

My new question is, how do I tell my yard guy, Santos, that I need him to dress like Santa? It's a great question. It's a great question for another episode. We might have to have you call back in with that question. So, Tori, please. Those are terrible ideas.

Here's a third idea. We're going to give you a bunch of ideas. A third idea. And I, again, I'm leading out with confidence. I think this one might be solid. Do you have any older white friends with beards? Oh, anybody in your life where when you look at them through like squinted eyes, you can go like, you know, you might be from the bar, but I can see Santa there.

I can definitely locate, locate one, one of those. So then what I would consider doing is putting one of those old guys in the red suit. Who's coming by the neighborhood to ask Rocky and Sonny one, if they've been good and two, what they might want for Christmas. Cause he's doing an early list. And so when little Rocky's head explodes and goes like, boy,

but you're not Santa, then Santa could go like, ho, ho, ho, I think you've been mistaking the gardener. Oh, that's Santa! Oh, what a hilarious mix-up, my child! Okay, and then Santos and Santa meet after that. And then they can shake hands on the way out.

And it's like running a mile to go a block. But you're talking about a three year old who believes in a tooth. Yeah. And you can still do moves like this that aren't going to confuse them. But I think you got to get out of this situation. I think you're a bunch of soldiers early and a bomb fell on the ground. And one of you has to jump on it. And you're that soldier, Tori. Yeah, I'm scared. I'm a little. Yeah.

Before we find out what you're leaning towards, can I just point out two things that are problematic with Jake's last idea? Please. The first is, again, we're bringing Santos in, which, again, I think we all agree. I agree. That's a mistake. It's prickly. It's prickly. Agreed. The second part is that Jake was suggesting that you find this Santa-looking type at a bar, and that's a hard approach. Yeah. That's a tough sell at any establishment. There's some red. Approaching guy. I agree. Yeah.

I agree. You get that Santa look that I'm after? Oh, no, no, no. Nothing erotic. I just need you to put the suit on and come over. Agreed. Yeah, that's a bad idea. So, Tori, we've given you some real dog shit advice on this one. What do you think you're going to do here? I got to say I like the option about getting Santos to dress up as Santa Claus. What?

idea. That can't happen. I mean, I think I just got to get to know him better. Tori, please hold on. Let the woman go. Do you think that is this real, Tori? No, I'm just kidding about that. I like the idea. I like the idea of a slow, a slow start now, almost kind of like the Anna, the anamorphic where you see an animal morph into another one. It's like, I think I might slowly

just show him images and books and stories that turn Santos into the actual Santa Claus to kind of get like leads in that direction. I think that's smart. That's your path of least resistance. And then could you also maybe figure out what Santos' last name is and then call him Mr. Blank?

Yeah. No, that's good, too. What's the problem with Gareth? What if it's Coase or something? I mean, you know, yeah, if it's Santos Coase, I mean, it's like, I do need to get him a different name for sure.

I think that's the one. We all sign off on that one. The slow play seems to be the good one. He's three. He's learning. But this is a great predicament. This is a great call. Thank you for calling. Yes. Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. Thank you, Tori. Thank you, Tori. Happy holidays. Okay. All righty. Bye.

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All right, here we go. Can we get your name and what your problem is and what we can help you with? Yeah, so my name's Chris, and I work at a media company. We make YouTube videos. And I got kind of a weird gift for one of my bosses, and he has not acknowledged it at all. So I'm wondering if there's anything I should do or what, you know. Okay, so Chris, where do you live, sir?

I live in Los Angeles. Oh, what part of Los Angeles? Oh, I actually live in Northridge. Okay. So how old are you, Chris? I'm 27. You're 27. You live in beautiful Los Angeles. You work for a media company and you got your boss a gift. Was it a boss or a coworker? My boss. Are you close to your boss? I mean, we're a pretty small company. We're like a medium sized company. So I see him quite a bit.

But you're not like close, close. You just, you work for him and he's friendly. Yes. He's friendly. He's nice. He likes to talk to everyone. He's always walking around the office. Do you feel comfortable saying his name or would that put you in a weird spot? Uh, that would probably put me in a weird place. Let's put, let's call him, uh, Mr. X. Sure. Okay. So Chris, what made you decide to get Mr. X a present?

I don't think I've ever gotten a boss of mine a gift in my entire life. Yeah. He's kind of an interesting guy. He's very personable. And I feel like in the company, we're always getting each other kind of things. Oh, so it's like the group is like a, hey, let me get you this. It's a sharing. You're a gift-giving culture. Yeah. Yeah, we're a friendly culture. Has he ever gotten you a gift?

He has not. No. Okay. So I got to say, we're starting off in a danger zone, my guy. Yeah. And just, okay. So even if there is a gift-giving culture, you were giving this gift purely for that? Or was there some, were you kind of like... Or was there a holiday? So what's kind of weird, I gave him the gift. It was right before we had a week off from our company. So I was like, oh, I might as well also, like, if you want to use these, I gave him tickets to go to a place in Solvang called...

It's going to be weird. It's ostrich land, USA.

Wait, hold on. Ostrich land? Ostrich land. They have a bunch of ostriches and you can go and feed them. Hold on, Chris. He's kind of quirky. Just a heads up. I don't want you to think I'm stealing your... I'm definitely going to go there. Go ahead, Jake. But hold on. So, you know, he's kind of quirky. He has a family. So I thought, oh, I'll just get some tickets. He can go if he wants with his family. There's a lot. I got it. Chris, I got to slow you down a little bit. I'm a back story guy.

So there was no holiday. Not really. So just like a random Wednesday, you thought... Well, it was his birthday. Oh, so that's a holiday. Oh, yes. So now I got to ask this really quickly just because I'm a no bullshit individual. Is this 100% true? Yes. This is real life? It is real life. Okay. So...

On his birthday's coming up, you think I'm going to get him a gift. Now, are all the coworkers getting him a gifts? Is that kind of the environment? Probably. Probably. I didn't ask anyone. But most likely. So it's not that weird that you gave a gift to your boss because it is his birthday. People give there. Okay. So that's all checking out.

Yeah. And and and just so we know that this the ostrich land gift to me feels like a swing for the fences kind of move. Is there are there any breadcrumbs leading you towards the idea of sending his family to a Dutch area where ostriches play? Did he say what one day was he like, man, I'll tell you what. Three things I love. Barbecue and barbecue and cold beers and ostriches.

I love my family, windmills and non-flying birds. Oh, yeah. Big ones. Scary ones. No, I so one of his kids has interned at the company and I ran it by the kid first. OK, you you would even enjoy. And they were like, yeah, I think he'd love it. We'd all love to go. OK, so you played your card perfectly.

Okay. As well. Yeah. So, okay. So I, I'm not going to lie when this started, I thought the call was going to be short and the answer is going to be my guy. You've made a huge, weird blunder and you got to start over at a new company. I thought I'm not off that just yet. I might be, I might be. And I'll tell you why. Okay. If you, if it wasn't his birthday and you didn't run it by and a coworker, a worker just gave a boss on a random Wednesday, a trip to a salty and to see some ostriches.

You got to look in the mirror and ask yourself some big questions. If it's his birthday and you ask his kid and his kid goes, we would love that. I kind of see where you're coming from. Okay, so you give him this ostrich pack, let's say. So what happens next? After he is given it? After nothing. So it goes on his desk. I put it in a little card. You just put it on his desk?

I gave it to his assistant who put it on his desk. Class move. Chris, that's the right move. Question, how much was this gift? What does it cost for four people to go to an ostrich farm? Like 40 bucks. To the whole family? 10 bucks a pop? It's around there, yeah. That's very cheap. Really not expensive for ostrich land. Just surprising. So he gets an envelope and on the envelope it just says to Mr. X. And inside, do you have a card with it?

Yeah, so it lets you put a little note because I gifted him the tickets and it's kind of a gift card ticket. So you can put the note in there and then I hand wrote little instructions on how it works. And what were the instructions you put? You can paraphrase, obviously. Basically, it has a redemption code. You go on the website, you can redeem it for a specific day and it comps the tickets.

And on the card, did it kind of say what it was like? You go to this area and what did that card say? What was the gift you presented to him? I'm going to pretend to be Mr. X and I get the card.

Yeah. So basically it's hello, Mr. X. And then it says, happy birthday. Thank you for everything you do for the company. Hope you enjoy it. It might be an interesting place or a quirky place to go with your family. And then I printed out the about me page of the website, put that in there. And can you give us a brief rundown of what the website, what the farm has to offer?

Sure. It essentially there are there's a petting, not petting area, but a feeding area. They have food. They have like a gift shop. OK, Chris, it sounds like Chris, you're not out of line here at all. And by the way, it sounds like ten dollars a pop is pretty fair considering the list of activities. Yeah, but this is and ends with a gift shop. Now, let me ask you one other question, Chris. How old are his kids? They're like late college kids.

Okay. Huh? You know. So you gave him. Why are you so puzzled, Jake? Because now the gift got weird again. So you gave a man, presumably 65 years old, who's got. He's in his 50s. 50s with. All right. So he had his kids in his mid 20s. Yeah. God bless. He's got two kids who are in their early 20s.

And he's mid-50s, late-50s, works hard at a media company, gets a gift from a 27-year-old employee to take his adult kids to pet some ostriches? Yeah. Chris, Chris. In what world? Well, well...

I know, and I'm not, we're not definitely, we're definitely not trying to bad cop, bad cop, but I know you ran it by his kid. Yeah. There was no, there was no kind of runway lead. You just thought, this is fucking nuts. Let's see what he does. Kind of a shot in the dark. Yeah. Okay, great. Great. And again, I don't think that's, look, that's whatever. Okay. So you take the shot in the dark. The assistant puts it on the desk. He, okay, what happens? He lights it. Radio silence.

Radio silence. Oh, nothing. Yes. And now it's all... And I went to bring something to his office and...

two weeks later and it was sitting there. It was nothing for two weeks. Gareth, what is he going to say? Thanks for the tickets to the ostrich farm? By the way, how far away is the drive from your office? Oh, dude. A half hour. Oh, it's not that bad. Yeah, to Northridge? No, no, no. To the ostrich farm. Oh, to the ostrich farm? Yeah. Yeah, like 40 minutes. 40 minutes? Really?

Maybe. Oh, that's not bad at all. That's not bad. Okay. If you would have said a couple of hours, I'm hanging up on this call because you're a maniac. But about 40 minutes each way, maybe he's going to say, what a fun gift.

I'm not going to go with my kids. We're talking 40 bucks. I'll take my wife or I'll take some buddies. We'll drink some beer and go look at some ostriches. Yeah, we'll get drunk, play with these birds. So your question, your question of calling in is you gave this gift. You got a you got iced in response. What now? Is that correct? Yeah. Do I just ignore it? Yeah. I tell you what you don't do for sure is you can't bring it up.

because he, so you went in his desk and you saw he had opened it, correct? He had opened it. That's a nightmare, my man. You're living a, you're living a, you're living a nightmare. Wait, sorry. I got to jump in with something very quickly. Chris, is your work in Northridge? No. Where's your work? Your work is LA.

Yeah, it's a little bit closer to L.A. This drive is a lot longer than 40 minutes. Is it? Let's say 40 minutes. I think it's over two hours. So, Jake, I don't want you to hang up on him. That's not what I'm going for. Hold on. Is it over? But I think the drive is over two hours from L.A. to Solvang. Solvang is 120 miles from Los Angeles. It's three hours and 15 minutes, Chris.

So this is a journey for the ostrich drink. Chris, that's a three-hour drive each way. It's different than 40 minutes. For a $10 ticket. We're talking six hours. Chris, you offered your boss a six-and-a-half-hour commute to feed a goddamn bird. A bunch of them. A bunch of them.

My man. Well, I know he goes to, he goes to, or not Burbank, he goes to Santa Barbara quite often. I thought you were going to say Bird Bank. Because then I was going to say, well, now we're talking. Bird Bank could be cool. No, Santa Barbara. It's not that far from Santa Barbara, right? Sure. No, no, it's right there, I think. Close-ish. Here's my advice.

Yes. And it's a gamble because I got to tell you, man, you are in a danger zone at this company. It is. You're in a danger zone, Chris. It's a strange position. If I was Mr. X, I got to say I'm 35% afraid of you. I know I'm not 100% afraid of you, but I'm thinking a three and a half hour drive, three and a half hour drive to see ostriches.

From a 27-year-old kid who's working for me? I should be giving him gifts. The drive is a big part of it. But I will say, his silence is bizarre, too. Gareth, what would he say? Thank you. Here's what I would do. Okay. Yes, here's what I would do. Hey, I got the tickets to the Oscars from him. That's awesome. I'm super busy, but I really can't wait to redeem that. That's pretty cool. I'll tell you why he's not doing that.

He's terrified of Chris. Well, Chris, okay. He feels like he's living in a horror movie and he got this sweet guy working for him. And then all of a sudden he goes, he said to his wife and honey. So, you know, that guy, Chris, he's a good employee. The sweet guy. Yeah. Yeah. She goes, yeah, I know. I remember Chris. You were excited about him. He does good work. He got me a gift. She goes, what is it? Great. Can I tell you what it is?

Yeah, yeah. I'd love to hear. What is it? Dinner? No. It's tickets to an ostrich farm. Three and a half hours. I didn't know that was a thing. Outside of town. It's feeding them. Did you say it's three and a half hours round trip? No. Each way. And he wants me to feed them and pet them. And he got tickets for our kids, too. Do you like us? Do we like? I've never mentioned ostriches in my life. I don't think I have. I don't. I've never heard you do that. Chris, here's my advice to you. Yes. And it is a gamble.

You could obviously go the safe route and that is just swallow your pride, blow it up and never bring it up. And hopefully it goes away, which is a very real possibility. Never bring it up. Never bring it up. Never bring up the gift. It's over. And hopefully over time, which what my guess would be will happen. It'll just move on. Your second move, which is a little bit more of a risk is find out what his favorite booze of choices is.

And give it to him with a note that says, LOL, you can drink this while you're thinking of going to the ostrich farm four hours away. All the best. Happy birthday.

That's a gamble because then he might be like, this guy's a psycho. A week after my birthday, he got me a bottle of bourbon. He wants me to get all liquored up and go play with these birds. Right. So I think I think your move is number one. I like that. I definitely like that. Let me ask one question. Has there been a vibe change?

Have you felt the that is it different? Is your relationship with him different since since the gift? Not that I've noticed. No, the same. Yeah, I would maybe I would maybe go a little bit of a different route. OK, and I would say my gut is this just never happened. He doesn't want to acknowledge it. You don't want to acknowledge it. I would do maybe ask the assistant.

off the record if you have that kind of relationship yeah did he get that did he seem interested did he i don't like that just get a little straw poll i don't like chris i don't think the assistant if the assistant is sort of saying don't do this no he got it or he didn't like it or whatever don't do this chris either way my gut is you just wait until next birthday and

And we're going with a much more a bottle of booze, a dinner plan, something like that. Kevin, you got some. Hi, producer Kevin here. I think you have to double down on every birthday and holiday. Oh, boy, Kevin, get this. Get the same gift again. Kevin, Kevin, keep checking in very casually. Like, what did you think? Like, did you go yet?

You know, you could bring 30 people at this point. Yeah. So, Chris, here's the we got to wrap this up. You have three pieces of advice. This is the first time we've ever had three different opinions. There's got my advice, which is pretend you're in a war and a grenade fell off of your belt. Jump on it and hope it doesn't kill you. Right. But you don't want everybody to go down with you. So keep it silent. And if you have like a little cut, just heal at home. Keep it quiet.

Yeah. It's is ask around, you know, ask the secretary. The thrust of mine is don't let him know that, you know, that this happened. Yeah. And and Kevin's, which is the wildest.

Put the grenade in your mouth. And blow your head off. Eat the grenade and hug your boss. That is lean into the fact that you work for a media company and you do bits on YouTube and become the Andy Kaufman of the gift giving community. And that is every gift

every near holiday this motherfucker is getting an invite to an ostrich farm this is war just for him or for everyone just for him just for him now you have three solid options the truth is these might all be bad what do you think you're gonna do chris oh i think i'm gonna ignore it

I think I got to ignore it. I think you got to do it too. Chris, thank you for the call. Good luck to you. Are you going to give him a gift next birthday? Maybe I'll go just a card next birthday.

Next birthday. Feel it out. One ostrich card. One extreme to the other. Kevin is funded by Big Ostrich. So I wouldn't. Chris, your instincts are right. Go mild on the next one. Swallow it. And if you get fired in six months because of your work, just know deep down it wasn't your work. You're a good worker. It's a weird. Don't let it. Yeah, that is. It's not. Don't take it personally. You're 27 years old. You'll get hired someplace else. And I promise you.

Never give a gift that there's a road trip and the end of the road trip is just a big bird that you could give seeds to. Any seven-hour rainbow that's pot of gold is ostriches. No bueno. Chris, thanks for the call. Thanks for calling. Appreciate it. Thank you so much.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out all of his work at OliverRaleigh.com. The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke.

And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com. And if you would like to be on our show, please email us at helpfulpod at gmail.com. That was a HeadGum Podcast.