154: Butt Glove & Pocket Tuna
01:01:03 Share

- This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Booking.com, booking.yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the US, I know they'll have exactly what I am looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I've found Booking.com has something for everyone.

for me and even for the Garf Man. I have a run of shows coming up in Texas in the next couple weeks and found a great place, since I'll be staying with other people, has a place for stuff we all want. We got a big kitchen for my buddy. I found a little area where I can podcast and have my microphone set up like a little weirdo.

But truly, it's great for business trips. It's great for vacation rentals. If you want a hotel, you always can find exactly what you're looking for. And that's true. I mean it. Every time I'm trying to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know that they're going to have my back.

So no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking.ya. 3, 2, 1.

And we are back. You want to hear something funny I was thinking about this morning that my brother used to do to me? Huh?

My brother who's been on this show. - Not with me. - We should do one of the three. - Yes. - You know what we were talking about actually this year? You and I were texting last night. Should we just share it with the people? - Yeah, this is your idea. It's a great one. - Yeah. So we are contractually doing, so a lot of the stuff people will be bringing up, there's a lot of stuff people don't know about. There's behind the scenes stuff with how this business works, where ads come in, how things go, how we do everything.

there's just stuff that we're always trying to figure out. Correct? Correct. And so we were saying, we have 52 episodes this year that we're going to do on a Monday and we would like to do the majority of them, the Garf Man and myself, but the fun of a guest every once in a while is fun. Yes. And then we're like, but if we're only doing one a week, cause we did two weeks so long, you're like, I don't know. It's bumping into the fun of us doing our stuff.

So then I was texting Gareth, maybe we'll just do the occasional extra episode. We feel like we got a banger. Yeah, and also like that's if one, if like you have somebody and you guys just do a call or if that's a weird interview and it turns into one call in a long interview, because maybe we're doing interviews for all, sometimes it'd be fun to chat. And also for the Thursdays, guys. Edit, Jake actually means Wednesdays. They might be a little different. The show's going to keep evolving and changing.

I don't know what's going to happen. The Garfman doesn't know what's going to happen. But we're going to play with the idea of the occasional second episode a week being a little freeform. Because I also wouldn't mind the occasional, if you got something fun or I got something fun, I'm going to drop a 20-minute episode just you and me. I think that's right, too. What do you think? There's rules to this thing? They're podcasts. It's the beauty of it.

Let's not forget that. I agree. And I think that as we know, our fans will tell us what they think.

Yes, but also our fans are loyal. Oh, yeah. And they get mad at us, but they're in a weird relationship with us. You know, Morgan told me that there was... Morgan Alley, our new social media Patreon director, an old friend of mine. We did a catch-up to kind of introduce her to the Patreon audience yesterday. Oh, fun. Without me. Well, Jake, you're the hot shot. I was free yesterday. I'm the hot shot.

She's just sad. Ha ha ha!

I was actually recording a podcast that doesn't exist. Called Jake and his friends. Jake and Buds. Jake and Buds. Wait for a caller. Your weird statues from your yard. Yes. But she was saying that, because I did a Gil thing. I like Gil answered questions. And I was like, I was very like, and the people, people are probably happy to see old Gilly Bean again. She's like, some, some,

Some were very open with the idea that they don't care for Gil at all. I was like, this is tough to hear. I mean, it was like a half hour of me just like riffing on questions. And I was like, at the end, I was like, that was madness, but that was pretty funny. That's a blast, man. Some people really did not care for it. Well, a funny thing about this show and everything, and I'm sad that once I didn't realize how podcasts work. I thought when you did an ad in a show, it was embedded and it was for good.

And so part of the thing about YouTube is those ads have to be recorded. They prefer them in person and they're embedded in. So it's a different animal.

But I wish, or at least I thought, all those ads would live forever so that if you find this show, and let's say we keep going and it's season four, you could see the entire evolution of how we started Gil, how it began. If you remember, I was at first giving you direction. Yes. We were doing the joke of I was going to direct you in the spots. Yes. And then... It was a whole plot line.

The funniest stuff happened behind the scenes where Kevin and I would get calls from HeadGum, them being like, is there any way to not do Gil? Because people are... And then every now and then we'll still have a promo code where I'll be like, Gil sent me and be like, that's strange. That's really... Those people over there, like wherever, are hanging in there.

It's really funny stuff. And then someone is like, Gil Semyon, what the fuck is that? But yeah, so I think like sort of what you were alluding to, I mean, we are always kind of tinkering and we're trying to do some longer intros now. Yes. You know, so that the show has a little bit more breath up top. As well as so that we can rant a little bit left on calls because a lot of times, you know, we like talking to each other and goofing around and we're trying to make the callers laugh

The big star. Yes. But it's fun to goof around and do bits a little bit and catch up. Well, also, when the calls are really good... Yes. It's like, we don't need to do much more than try to problem solve them. That's right. That's right.

By the way, I saw really fast this really funny Instagram clip. Oh, any of our stuff we're going to do on Instagram, by the way, any of the images that are like really big on the show, if you're like, hey, I wanted to see that, we'll always post it to our Instagram. So you'll always see the main images. We're here to help Instagram.

I just saw one. I posted it on my story today because it made me laugh so hard. It was a guy in Philly and it said, this dude will believe anything. The guy's going, oh, that sea turtle just escaped. And the guy goes, a bit some kids head off. And the guy's like, what? It's the best. It's it's awful because that poor guy was just like sitting somewhere just like, oh, my God. Did I tell you what we what we used to do to my dad, my brother and I?

Yeah, but say it again. My dad was very gullible, like the guy in the video. So if you haven't seen the video, see the video. It's so funny. It's a guy being told to see Turtle escape the zoo. He's like, the guy off camera is so, he's like, he's like, I'm just telling, he's like, ha, he bit his head off? He's like, yeah, the whole thing. I was talking to Karen down at the WTMI News. Yeah. He's like, oh my God. Oh my God, those poor kids. Those poor kids.

He's such an empath. And then we used to do to my dad, because my dad would do that. My brother and I would be sitting on the couch, and the game was to try to get my dad to say different phrases without asking why. So my brother would text me watermelons, and then I'd go like watermelons, and then he would go like watermelons and handgun.

So I'd go like, oh, and so I'd go like, hey dad. And he'd go, what? I go, what's that huge fruit that's pink inside? You go, a huge fruit? I go, you know, you cut it. It tastes really good. You have it this summer on like the 4th of July. Watermelons? And I'd go, look at my finger. What am I making with my, when I go pew, pew. You got a gun? I know, but what is it right? A little gun. No, no, no. With my, a handgun. And what are those two words together?

Watermelon hand good?

And you'd take a beat. My brother would say, good job. My dad would not follow up with it. I would text my brother two new words. Gareth, we could play this game and I'm not exaggerated. Sometimes up to an hour. And then when we'd laugh, he would go, you guys always laugh at the dumbest stuff. You're like little kids laughing about nothing. And I would be crying, laughing. And then right away, there'd be a pause and then you'd be like...

bring Chessie's amusement park. And I never asked why we're here. His brain never thought. These are weird questions. He just thought, this is a human conversation. Ha ha ha.

That's why it's great. It's just a blind spot for how to like be a human. Because like I would eventually be like, I'm not doing that. Yeah. Right away you'd go, why are you asking? You know what a watermelon is. And why are you doing this? The fact that he did, he just saw like, this is what it's like to talk to your sons on a Saturday. Kids are crazy. He is just the best. What a character. Let's get into the show. All right. Without further ado.

Further ado. This wonderful episode of We're Here to Help, your favorite podcast, our favorite podcast, is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. I can't say enough good stuff about Squarespace. Every website that I'm involved in is amazing.

Squarespace for many reasons. It's awesome. It's got design intelligence. It's industry leading design expertise with cutting edge AI technology to unlock your creative potential. There's Squarespace payments. The easy way to manage your payments in one place with Squarespace makes onboarding fast,

Simple social and multimedia accounts invoicing. You can sell your content. I mean, Squarespace is looking to help you. It makes it easy to sell access to content on your websites, online courses, blogs, go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch.

at https colon slash slash www.squarespace.com slash heretohelp to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code heretohelp. Really, go get them. This episode of We're Here to Help is sponsored by DraftKings.

The great rewards hunt is on, so join the adventure with DraftKings Casino. For fun seekers, follow the trail to huge jackpots, weekly bonuses, and exclusive games. But the excitement is only getting started because new players can get 500 casino spins on a featured game. Just sign up with code HTH and wager a minimum of $5 to receive $5.

500 casino spins on a featured game. Only on the most rewarding place to play, DraftKings Casino. Only on the most rewarding place to play, DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In Connecticut, help is available. For problem gambling, call 888-789-7777 or visit CWC.

CCPG.org. Please play responsibly. 21 plus physically present in Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Connecticut and Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. New customers only. Non-withdrawable casino spins valid for feature games only.

and expire in 168 hours see terms at casino.draftkings.com promos ends 4 27 25 at 11 59 p.m eastern this episode of we're here to help is sponsored by hungry root hungry root is a very easy and stress-free way for me to get groceries

as opposed to ordering groceries or going grocery shopping. It comes straight to your house. The food is healthy. It's delicious. And it is easy. I am a fan of it. Look, Hungry Root is just a less stressful way to get groceries. A lot of times, like, I'll be trying to eat healthy. You know, I try to eat so many vegetables. But then you're at the store and maybe your mind starts drifting and you're like, maybe I don't need to eat vegetables. You need to eat vegetables. You are a grown human.

What are you, a child? This isn't big. Be an actual human. So what I love about Hungry Root is they do all that for you. You pick what you're after. Hungry Root does it all for you. It's like having a personal shopper and a nutritionist all wrapped into one. Speaking of wraps, they have wraps. Take advantage of this exclusive offer. For a limited time, get 40% off your first box plus

Oh, fuck.

Hello. Hello. Having a little giggle, are you? Not on our watch. Can we get your name? The first thing I hear is, oh, fuck. The first thing you hear is what? Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. We're really tickled with something we have in the works over here. What's your name, please? My name's Katie. Hi, Katie. Welcome to the show. Hi. Where are you calling from, Katie?

los angeles beautiful la what part beautiful uh culver city what do you think of the culver uh culver hotel where the uh munchkins from the wizard of oz all stayed in the 30s

Well, it's gorgeous and haunted, and supposedly the little people had massive orgies while filming The Wizard of Oz. As well as they ran wild, they partied their asses off, they didn't pay their bills, and they were all having sex nonstop. These are all true stories, Gareth. Is that right? Yeah, the little people in that movie were wild. Wow.

Wow, that's the movie. That's the movie I want to see. The greatest thing. They were true old world party. Old Hollywood. I mean, old like traveling around the world performers. And then they got a big gig on a Hollywood movie and they just took that per diem and said like, we are turning this hotel into

Into a party fuck fest. That is awesome. And as they should. As they should. I'm proud of them. You know, you do, people have those moments in time where they go like, if you can go back in time and talk to anybody living or dead, the dinner party question, my real answer is always to party in that hotel. Oh. To just say, looking around. They're not shooting the next day. And go like, how was work today? And have them like talk trash about like Judy Garland and be like, Judy's great.

hear what the lion's all about, and then just let it rip and have a full-on party and be like, this was the greatest party of my life. You hanging around for the orgy?

Can we get your problem today? Yeah, sure. Do you know what a Brazilian wax is? Oh, boy, howdy doey. Gareth gets them. Yeah, you got to keep it. Yeah, that's the... By the way... From hole to hole, that's the goal. I wouldn't be surprised. Come on now. And then when I brought it up, you would get defensive. Well, I mean, look, it's a lot of guys do it. What, are you shaming? No.

You've never, I'll tell you, you haven't lived until you. Oh yeah, it's a lot better with your huge bush down there, Jake. And I'd go like, and now I'm lost. And I'd call Berg and I'd go, Gareth is a Brazilian wax. Yeah. No, I knew that about him. Boy, he has really gone wild lately. Okay, Katie. We have to stop. We have to. So yes, you know what a Brazilian wax is? Yes. I get one once a month. That's a lot for you. Move down there. Yeah.

Once a month? You're dealing with some pain. Yeah. You know, the more you get it, the less it hurts. Okay. But what you got to do, what you have to do is to keep it good down there, you have to exfoliate it, right? So I have an exfoliating glove. It prevents ingrowns, like irritation, things like that. So in the shower, I have a specific exfoliating glove that I use just for the downtown area when I shower. You got a bucket of it.

Yeah. Butt glove. That's a great term. That's I like that. Um,

I have a girlfriend and we've been essentially living together for the last year. Okay. And it didn't come to my attention until recently. I took a shower shortly after her and the butt glove was wet, like it had been used. And I was like, huh? Oh, boy. And then she started talking more and more about exfoliating her face. Oh, no, no, no, no. Great. So...

It was confirmed when I came home and I went into our bathroom and she was washing her face in the sink with my exfoliating butt glove. And I truly have, it's been like over a month now. It's been a couple of months since I figured it out. I cannot get myself to tell her. Are you letting her still butt glove wash?

I don't know how to tell her that for the last year she has been washing her face with my butt and vagina gloves. Katie, you're in a ship where water's coming in.

and it's coming in fast you can't just sit there and go i don't know what to do the first thing we got to do and i'm sorry to use this term but we got to plug the hole you got to plug the hole we have to stop her from washing her face with your butt glove then we can deal with the problem

than she's still currently doing it. So for starters, that glove leaves the shower with you. How are you, how, is this like you're dating her? Yes, they live together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you comfortable, are you going in for kisses knowing that the butt glove's been rubbing up and down the face? Yeah. Katie, this is a selfish solve. This is not like a roommate who's just using your butt glove that you don't really care for. Like, whatever, let him exfoliate. This is, this is all, this affects you.

You've got a butt glove part. So Katie, tell me this. Why haven't you told her? I haven't told her because I feel like if I found, it's a little, it's gross. It's a little embarrassing. And I don't have, I just don't want her to feel sad. I understand. I've been doing what for a year? Well, there's probably a solve in this that is not telling her.

Interesting. Well, we haven't got there yet, but you're not wrong, Gareth. And then here's my other question. Why do we leave the butt glove in the shower knowing that this wonderful girlfriend of yours is scrubbing her face with it? She should be locked up like a gun. Can we take it out of the shower for starters?

Can it travel with you like in a dorm? When a shared shower situation, you would bring a little bucket in? Can we write for taints and anuses only on it and mark it? Eventually we could, but we can't right now. I can hardly remember to bring my keys to my car, never mind every time I'm about to get in the shower. But I need it. I need it. I can't have like ingrowns. I got you. Yeah. Okay, so we are in a situation. So the first thing you do is the one you have. How expensive are these?

Oh, they're like five bucks, ten bucks. Throw it out. Okay, the one you've been using, you throw out. Okay. And I'm going to tell you why. I don't think we're going to pitch going backwards. I think we're going to pitch going forward. Yes. And I think what you do is you get two new exfoliators. Yep. One of them you say to her, hey, this one's for our faces. Mine.

This one's from my butt. Yeah, this one's for you to use however you want. Or not even you. We're not going backwards. But I also don't think, but we're going backwards if you're saying. Hold on. No, you say this. This green exfoliator, green light. The red one. This brown one. Red or brown, red light. Yeah. That's from my butt.

I don't think you tell the butt thing. I think what you say is, because then you're going to be like, you've been fucking ass washing for six weeks, your face. I think you say to her. You're not wrong. I think you say to her, you love the exfoliating gloves so much. I got you your own. I have an old school pitch. Okay. Katie, what if we did a podcast as the doctors about the sharing of exfoliates changes the oil complexion of a face?

And that you say to her, hey, I bought you this. I think we should each use our own and here's why. I just read this. I heard this thing where I guess it's like really bad for the skin to do this. Dr. Piggly and Moe? Yeah. What do you think of something like that, Katie? I think I could try that. Yeah. Right. But like knowing your relationship with her, because what we would have you do is we would just have you text the link to it to her.

Mm-hmm. And then go like, heard this. What do you think? Should we just get our own stuff?

It's like, yeah, yeah, I can definitely try that. It's like, I'm not, yeah. Let's talk. Let's talk. I don't want you to concede into this. We want this to help you. This isn't about us doing goofy voices. Sorry, Gareth. Well, I don't want to tell her per se, but we haven't even talked about, like, I mean, I would almost argue that like sharing an exfoliating thing is,

in general, like I wouldn't use someone else's, right? Right.

So are you saying you want to open this to a boundary conversation? No, definitely not. I don't want it to have to... Katie's not somebody who likes confrontation. Hey, I know you've been using this. No, Katie is a non-confrontational animal. What I would do is why not just say that you listen to something. You listen to something where they sort of talked about how sharing something like that isn't a good idea because you're sharing someone else's skin oils. It can change the makeup of your skin. It can make it so that your face wash stops, whatever the fuck it is.

and give her her own and be like, so here you go. Here's yours. Here's mine. Let's keep them separate. Then you don't even need to tell her that she's been scraping her face with your butt. What do you think of that? Yeah, I think that's good. How about this? Pull out your phone right now. Let's just get the text going. Come on. Oh, it's going to be a text. Yeah, you're going to say, you're going to tee it up. Let's just see because she might text. What is she doing right now? Is there any chance she might text you back right away?

She's just working. She's just at home working. I just went out on an errand. She's probably in the mirror looking at some weird acne she can't figure out where it came from. My chin smells terrible. I don't know. Everything I eat tastes bad today. I've never had a pimple that smells bad. Every time I eat a sandwich, it smells like shit. How do you get hemorrhoids on your mouth? So how about this as a starting text, Katie? Yeah.

Hey, butt face. Oh, go ahead, Jake. Sorry. Go ahead. Real mature, dude. Real grown up. We are professional advice givers. How about this, Katie? Hey, just heard on a pod that sharing, what are they called? Exfoliates?

Exfoliating gloves. Sharing is really bad for the skin. I'm out. Should I just pick up one new one for each of us? No question. I'd say you're going to. I'm going to buy us each one of our own. What do you think of that? Yeah. Um...

Yeah, you know, I can try this. I think she's going to be like, why are you even thinking about this? Why would you need to, like, yeah, no. But then hold on. So send that text right now. Say no ifs, ands, or buts and spell buts with two Ts. And then what we could do, Real Mature, then what we could do.

I know my role. Then what we could do, and we'll just have it to have it, is we'll make you an audio only of Mr. Piggly and Dr. Moe. Because if it starts getting pushed to it, you could just go, she goes, what were you listening to? You can't say you were listening to a podcast called Dr. Moe. Mr. Piggly. Anyone who looks up Mr. Piggly and Dr. Moe. The problem with this whole premise is

I can't believe that that's worked in the past. Everybody has the internet. I think what we've done before is we've sent that to people who are like, what's a podcast? Yes, it only works if it's to a parent. It can't be peer-to-peer. What podcast are we listening to? Dr. Piggly and Mr. Moe. Yeah, have you ever heard of Dr. Piggly and Mr. Moe? It's a kind of weird guy who interviews a doctor who doesn't really know the terms. And I'm just getting a minute audio.

The podcast isn't available fully anywhere. Yeah, this is a stupid pitch. She doesn't listen to podcasts, though. That's why. Oh. Well, we could make it in the back pocket if we wanted it. Okay, so Katie, will you send the first text? And maybe while we're happening, this might be, we just need, are you comfortable leading out with the advice we're giving here? Yeah, yeah. I think so. I think this is a win. So what do you send it in that text?

So instead of saying, hey, I just heard on a pod that sharing, I'm going to say like, ew, I just heard a podcast that says like we share things, you know? Perfect. So write that up really fast and hit send. And ideally we get read. And can you, not knowing anything, can you go buy an exfoliating glove real easy? I could try. Where do they sell them?

You know, mine was actually from my waxing studio. T.J. Maxx. T.J. Maxx. Yeah. Where is your, well, you could actually probably get them at Target. Yeah. Or CVS or something. CVS? Big nose. Go to Target. Is there a specific one for the butt? What an embarrassing thing to ask for. I just had a colonoscopy. Who am I to talk? Yeah, honestly. But also. I was walking around with a robe with the back open. Exfoliating. Not a good look. Exfoliating your ass. Speak for yourself.

By the way, I wish I did before my procedure. They turn you on your side and there's a moment where I was, I wanted to say like, sorry. That's their job though. I know. I mean, all they do all day is they're like, cool. All right. What a job. Crack you open. I'm professional. So Katie, did you send the text? Yeah. Yeah. I said, ew, I just heard on a podcast that when you share loofahs and stuff, it changes your skin. Ooh. Did she write back? No. Has she read it? Do we know?

He's on D&D, but I hit notify anyway because I don't care. Ooh, cool. And then say, and today are you able to just go and buy a new one? Two new ones. Two new ones. You are? Yeah. We don't want her face in your butt. It's a two-way street. Then I would write back. In that way. Going to buy new ones. Got to throw out the old one too. Yuck. Okay.

What do you think, Katie? It's a lot. It's dramatic. I wonder if we're throwing too much. The way this is happening, I'm going to end up having to tell her that she's been washing her face with my butt. We don't want that. I think what you did is just good. Go get two new gloves. Go get a match. Go get a pair. Different colors. What do you think is going to happen when you get home?

She's going to be like, that's so random. I know. Like you're, you're weird. And I'm going to be like, I know I'm quirky. You know what I'm afraid of Katie? Yeah.

We led you in the wrong direction. You said send the text. Well, because here's why. Because Katie said, I don't know any world where I'm not just going to have to tell her the truth. But here's, I think you're okay. All right? Hang in the pocket. I know we've got some people crushing it right now. Go to Target. Go to CVS. Grab two newbies. It's waiting for her when she gets home. Casually throw away...

Hey, so you've got your own exfoliator glove. I've got mine too. I know you think I'm being crazy, but let's just stick in our own lanes. Let's do this, Katie. Let's do this. What's your girlfriend's name? Fake. Becca. Becca. I'm going to be Becca. You come home. Let's see what happens. All right.

and gareth yes you can be becca's co-worker and uh who is on a zoom call in the background and and but is can mute herself to jump into this from time to time nope okay oh but okay because because becca's hosting the meeting becca could move it okay okay okay okay so before you come in katie

Yeah. We're finishing up a work meeting. Becca was saying something. I mean, Leanne was saying something. That's why I think that we're going to like, if we hand stuff like samples out on the street as much as possible, that's a really good way to create a buzz. And if you can get people to take pictures with the product and we carry a ring light, we can really share that content. I think it could be very successful. Hold on. My girlfriend just got home. Oh, gosh. Hey, babe. What's up?

Hey. Super random text today. What was the text? I know, I was just listening to this. Mute. Did you know that if you share exfoliating gloves, like loofahs, that stuff, it changes your skin and it can be really gross for you? And I heard it on a podcast. It grossed me out. What podcast? Mr. Butcher.

Just a podcast with a couple of dudes. It's fun. Yeah. It's called a your skin and you, by the way, your skin and you is the title.

Great. I would lead out with that. Listen to it on a podcast. What's the podcast? Your skin and you. And then go, it's just, I go, just going forward, we should just have separate ones. I hear it's really like each skin has a different oil. It's all complicated stuff, but it really grossed me out. Anyway, what's going on with you?

Yeah. I Katie, all jokes aside, this has been a sloppy call. I think that's going to work. I do too. Yeah. Less is more. I think I'm actually going to say that first. Yes. And then like tomorrow I'll go get some, not so it's not like I heard it and I went right away. Exactly. So you're going to let her wash her face one more time with your ass glove. You are going to throw out the glove. You're going to let her put that fucking button mitten on one more time. Katie, you go home, you throw out the glove tomorrow. You get new ones. You good with that? Yeah.

Yeah, good with that. She might not be exfoliating tonight. She should only be doing it once or twice a week. But then if she says to you, hey, where is it? Go, oh, I'm getting new ones. I heard on this podcast, You're Skinning You, that it's like really bad. It changes the oils if you do it. So I'm going tomorrow. I'll get you one. I'll get my own one. But we can't mix them anymore.

And you know what I would say if I was Becca? You'd be okay. I'm not going to go, hey, quick question. Have I been cleaning my face with your butt glove for a year? I've never asked that. The months that she's been washing her face. It's over. It's in the past. We move on. We don't worry about yesterday. We worry about tomorrow. I mean, I'm thinking about yesterday while I'm in tomorrow. But let's not because she doesn't have to. Katie, what are you going to do?

That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to just bring it up casually again when we get home. And then I'm going to throw that shit out and then I'll get some new ones tomorrow. So do you feel good about this plan? Yeah, I feel good about it. Let's pull the trigger. Let's burn the old butt mitten. And then yeah, onward and upward. And I think less is more. And I would just not overdo it and just leave it so she's not even thinking about it.

Maybe even have a secondary topic to shift gears into. I think that's right. You know? Katie, how are you feeling? Do you feel like we're in a good zone? I feel good. I'm super awkward always anyway, so you won't be surprised by anything. Okay, but I got to tell you, you have not been super awkward in this. It's been awkward to have you scrub your butt with a glove and then not tell your girlfriend who's been washing her face with it, though. Thanks so much for the call. We appreciate you. Keep us posted. Thank you so much. All right. Thank you.

All right, bye guys. Bye. This episode of We're Here to Help is sponsored by Quince. If you want to look good, you got to wear some Quince. Quince has good looking clothes. You like a Mongolian cashmere crew neck? I know you do. You like it at around $50?

Get it from Quince, baby. You like an iconic 100% leather jacket and versatile flow knit activewear, baby? You get it from Quince. You wanna look the part, you wanna feel the part, then you get it from Quince. Stop looking like a slob. Go to Quince. - I have this green corduroy jacket

that I wear all the time. Lots of times I'm getting ready and I'm like, I don't know what to do. T-shirt, corduroy jacket, get out the door. I have quince jeans. The way they do it is they partner directly with top factories and they cut the cost of the middleman and they pass the savings on to you and me.

Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash heretohelp for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash heretohelp to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash heretohelp. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies are undies.

that me likes to wear. Quite literally, I'm wearing a pair of me undies right now, and I like them. Underwear drawers are like the Wild West of wardrobes. We don't know what's going on. Anything goes. You got old pairs. I'll be honest. It's been sad in there at times. There's pairs I'm hanging on to that just, they're more of a kilt than a set of underwear. It's like a mini skirt. You know what I'm talking about. This is what we do.

But MeUndies makes it so easy to revamp that zone. Every time I reach for MeUndies, I know I'm in for some comfort, for a great look. I am hooked.

And honestly, they're the only underwear I try to wear. Style for everyone. From all black, which is what I rock, to fun, expressive prints, which Gareth rocks. MeUndies has a look for everyone. Plus, they come in all sizes. Extra small for me and 4XL for the Garf Man. Guaranteeing a flattering cut for everybody.

Get 20% off your first order plus free shipping on orders of $75 or more at MeUndies.com slash Here to Help. Enter promo code Here to Help. That's MeUndies.com slash Here to Help. Code Here to Help for 20% off. MeUndies. Comfort from the outside in.

Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. Therapy has been something that has been very important to me, but more important than that is finding the right therapist, because if you got the wrong one, you're just wasting your time. So Alma has helped me find a therapist that actually takes my insurance and it's made everything very easy. Alma makes it simple to find a therapist. 97% of people seeing a therapist through Alma said that their therapist makes them feel safe.

seen and heard. You know the deal. It's very difficult to find someone you can trust, someone you feel a human connection to, someone that's kind of an irreplaceable part of your mental health. But that's why Alma has real people. Mental health challenges can be very difficult. You can feel alone. But take a break from scrolling for nothing and scroll through Alma's directory to find a therapist who meets your specific needs.

- Better with people, better with Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/HereToHelp to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's HelloAlma.com/HereToHelp. Alma.com/HereToHelp. Hi, welcome to the show. - Hi. - Hi, how's it going?

Good. How about you guys? We're great. Having a great session. Can we get your name, where you're calling from, and your favorite movie, please? Oh, interesting. Yes. Yeah, it is. My name is Abby. I'm calling from Dayton, Ohio. I feel like my head always, so dumb, but my head always goes to Hot Rod.

Okay. Hot Rod's great. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, it's one of my ones that fall out of my pocket. All right, Abby, Dayton, Hot Rod, what the hell is going on? Yeah. So in 2016, I bought myself a cat as a college graduation gift, which is kind of weird in and of itself. Absolutely. Yeah, sure. He,

He has been the perfect cat, like extremely chill. He wants to hang out, but like not too much. He doesn't meow too much. And he just generally likes people. So that was great. Had him for like seven years. And then like three or four years ago, we started letting him outside because he wanted to. What's the cat's name? The cat's name is Louis. Louis. Okay. So you started letting Lou go for walks?

Yes. Yes. He likes going outside. Totally fine to do it by himself. Doesn't need us there. So, um, he just walks out by himself. He'll stay outside all day, come back at night. We can always just open the door. He just runs right in. Um,

Yeah. So we live in a pretty family friendly neighborhood. So like there's other cats that roam and like kids will stop to pet him, which is great. But then he started not coming home in the evening and coming home in the morning. And then he started, I would go out my front door and then find like rabbit heads, like on my front porch that he had just killed and left.

Cool. I got an outdoor cat named Peter who does stuff like this. Brings you rabbit heads? No, rat heads. Oh, okay. Totally. Oh. Yeah. I mean, I guess I prefer the rabbit head, but that's pretty gnarly. It's good luck, I think. Yeah. Okay. But keep going. So Louie goes for walks.

He's maybe spending more and more nights out on the streets. He's changing. He's growing up. I think drugs. Yeah, probably. Probably. I mean, he's probably hanging out with a bad crowd of alley cats. But then he leaves you every once in a while, a rabbit head to let you know he's doing good and he loves you and that things are fine.

Yep. Then he eventually just started not coming home and he has started to live with the house two doors down. And now it's been, yes, yes. He, they feed him. He just kind of sits outside of their house and he refuses to come home. And now it's been like, Oh gosh, I don't know, a couple of years. And he like, every time he sees me outside, he crosses to the other side of the street. What? Yeah.

Yes. Do you know the people a couple of houses down? I don't, believe it or not. I know some of the other people in this neighborhood, but those people keep to themselves. And so I've actually never met them. I guess my question would be, what do you want? What are you looking for? What would you say is the exact problem? Sure, that's a great question. But that's, I mean, by the way, interesting setup because you let Louis wander. Louis. Louis.

Do you ever call him Louie? Yeah, actually. All right, I back off. Okay. Damn. Yeah, we let him wander. And then there's some little kids petting him. He murders a couple of rabbits. And then all of a sudden he starts getting some good food. And then all of a sudden he's getting his belly rubbed. He's getting his back rubbed. Something's going on behind his ears. And he goes, I got to say, I like...

this new house a little bit more. It's tough. Yes. So that's my question is how do I convince him that he had a good life with us? And if he's not going to come home, at least to not treat me like scum. Right.

Well, look, I'll be honest. I mean, part of me wants you to get a collar that you put on him that says his name and the owner's number. By the way, the new house lets him out during the day, too. Part of the thing, Gareth, is when Abby sees him, he's like, fuck you. Oh, I know. I'm just saying this is a shot across the bow at the other house. This is a way to say, we know you're cheating. We know you're the other house.

Cause I can't make you love me. Okay. Jake. Cause I can't make you love me. No. Does anyone know what this song is? Abby, you know this song? I gotta tell you. Abby, I gotta tell you. Yeah.

I can't make you... How does this feel coming out of it? Does it feel good? I think it sounds great. Yeah, it sounds really good. Thank you. At international school, they also had singing classes. Makes no sense. Here's my fear, Abby. Makes no sense. So we're with you on this one. I fully get this problem. And I see how it's hard. It's your cat. You love him. You gave him freedom. He found something else. We need to make sure... So the new house isn't like trapping him in, right? Right.

No, no. They let him out. They let him just like roam. He's chosen the new house. Right. Yeah. He likes them better. That's why I think. But there's a way. So, but what is it about them that they like? You know, Louie is an outdoor cat. We give him everything. Right. So do you think it could be the food supply? It could be, but. The route I'm going here, Abby, is let's keep it simple. Okay. Kiss. Keep it simple, stupid.

I'm not calling you stupid, by the way. Gary gave me a low. No, here's what I'm saying. We're trying to solve this problem. Yes. And Abby, here's how we solve it. What the fuck is Louie's favorite food? I mean, tuna, but isn't every cat's favorite food tuna? And here's the other problem. It's not like we live in a neighborhood that has probably...

Five other stray cats on this street that just roam. And we also have a really, really bad like squirrel and raccoon problem in this neighborhood alone. Like they just are rampant and they will eat anything. So if I put stuff out, I get more than I bargained for. Yeah. Well, that's why I would go in the direction of look,

Your ex, and I'm calling Louis your ex now. That's fine. Louis. Is that your ex? He moved on. Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do? You're just going to stalk his Facebook all night and just keep wondering about him? I mean, all you're going to do is smother him. But hold on. Abby, do you want Louis back? Well, no. I want Louis to come back and...

come to my house occasionally. I don't want him. He doesn't have to live with me. He just needs to like, Whoa, this is crazy. So you're mad at the cat for finding a forever home when you want to give him a part-time rental space. Yeah, basically. Abby, this is wild. I did not think you were ready to get rid of Louis. Jake, you're a cat. Are you picking the house where they feed you and you have a regular stay? Or are you doing one where the person's like, Hey, do you mind sleeping on the porch tonight?

I'm sensing that Abby was done with my weird ass a long time ago. And she was. I'm going, oh, you're letting me out all of a sudden? And then I'm trying to, oh, look at that. By the way, that looks just like my cat. That is a black cat with green eyes. That's a great looking cat. And what's he, a car? You want to know why a cat brings... Oh, you're looking at the picture? Yeah.

Yes. He's in the back of my truck. I got in to go somewhere and I was like, well, I can't fricking go anywhere. He's in my, he's, he's in the bed of my truck. Is this after the breakup? Um, no, this was like mid breakup. Like he was like spending a lot more time outside and I would see him occasionally, but he would still like come up to me. So how long was he an indoor cat? Like five years, like a long time. Now let's be real honest, Abby. We can't get to the truth in 20 minutes. We got to get to it now.

What made you decide to put this cat outside? Did you have a kid or something? No. Well, we did end up having two kids, but that's not why. Okay. We...

I think we opened the door and he kind of followed us out there and he like showed some interest. And we were like, well, I mean, it's kind of like a family neighborhood. Like, I don't mind to just let him out and see what he thinks. Um, and then he quickly decided that that was like, he loved it. Okay. So we were like, come home, like whatever. And what was your guys's family dynamic? Do you guys have dogs? Well, we didn't at the time. Okay. Yeah.

Keep going, Abby. Thank you for the truth. I didn't want to bring that up because the truth is going to hurt. Well, no, no, no. We only got drugs within the last six months. So he had fully abandoned us by that point.

Abby, you're in another thing. You're in another thing and you're wondering why your ex isn't texting you. He's in the back of your truck staring at you. He's bringing you dead rabbit heads saying, take me home. Yeah. You dumped his ass. That was not when we got the dogs. The dogs was like a newer thing. But Abby, Abby, the problem is this ship has sailed.

This ship has sailed. Your cat, Lewis, has made a decision. Based on what I might say was a little bit of an icy reception at the house. You let him out. Uh-huh. And he found a place. You moved on. You've got dogs. You've got kids.

He made a choice. My pitch was going to be go get another cat and show that cat all the love that you feel like you're missing. This is disgusting. That is really wrong. But then you said you have dogs. Hold on, Jake. There's commas in this. Hold on, Abby. Are we at all right here? Are we wrong? Are we painting the wrong picture? Because we clearly have a take.

About what? The fact that you think that I've moved on from this cat? Here is very clearly where Gareth and I, I feel like we're both feeling. You had a cat. You got him when you graduated. You love Louis. He's great. All of a sudden, your life is going on. You're moving to beautiful Dayton. You got kids coming. All of a sudden, maybe let him out. He doesn't come home. Who cares? You're paying less attention to him as the years go on. He's fine, but cats are easy.

and when he's gone a lot during the day, nobody in that house is missing him. Then he's gone overnight, and you go like, great. Then he brings you a rabbit head, and you're like, fucking Louis, you weirdo. He's in the back of your truck. You're like, get out of here. And then all of a sudden, he finds new love, and you go, what about me? Okay, you're not wrong. I will give you that. Okay, okay. And so the fact that he... Are you saying that I need to...

Go ahead. No, you go ahead. I was going to say, are you saying that I need to like give him a quote unquote funeral from my perspective? Just let him go. You need to grieve. I think you need to grieve. But also if I'm you, because I don't view, I'm different than Gareth. I don't view my pets as my love interests. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to throw a flag on this. Okay. What's going on?

My love interest? I love my animals on a level that maybe you don't experience. I don't have love interest. It's not a will they, won't they? It is a will they, won't they? No, it is not a will they, won't they? Look at how many catty photos you have right near your face. It's filling a background for now. Can I finish? I don't like your start. Agreed.

Okay. I'm hot on this call. Yeah. What I did to you. Abby. Yes. I view it more like a kid. So you didn't really break up. The kid just felt like you started a whole new goddamn family and he found another place. So I would let him go. But that door is always open. Whenever you see him,

I would give a lovingly, hey, Louis, hey, kitty, kitty, kitty. I would have, if he's ever around, if he ever wants to come back, he's always welcome home. That's his home. I want to say two things. I want to say one, just since we're going at each other, I don't love the idea that as a parent, Jake will allow one of his kids to go two doors down and start living there because they think that's the right environment for them. So anybody who's maybe working with child protective services might want to jump in there. I'm talking about

when they're grown up, they fall in love. - Second, second to tag a pitch onto this. What might be interesting, Abby, is to get a shirt made with a picture, that picture of Lewis

And maybe an RIP above it as you, so that way when you walk around the neighborhood, you kind of throw a little shade at the people. No, but by the way, I think you just started something that could be really nice. What if you go to the house and you explain the situation? Oh man. Oh. And you go like, go ahead, Abby. Well, do you want me to ask him a question or just explain that like he abandoned us? No, I don't. You're not a victim. No.

I would say that you've had this cat since 2016. You love the cat. You've let it out. The cat has been a neighborhood cat and he's going there, but you just want to let them know if they ever feel an obligation, you will always take him home. You love him. He seems to have chosen them. But if there's ever a reason that you are letting them and Lewis know, Mama Abby's always around.

Give the blessing and accept responsibility. Exactly right. And say like, and let, and then if the cat's there, but every time you see that cat on the street, I would say mama loves you. That's a great one. Thank you. I will say that.

Just a little mama loves you. Keep in mind, Jake would let his child... What Gareth would say is, I'm in love with you. Keep in mind, Jake would let his child just wander into a stranger's house and live there if they liked it better. So that's who you're dealing with, Eddie. That's who you're... That's who's advice you're complimenting right now. You see what happens when you accidentally hurt Gareth's feelings? It's going to last for weeks. I'm worried about your kids, Jake.

This is coming from an earnest place of glory. He goes, after my family. I was called, I had a love interest with a cat. Well, what did you take? I remember back. Do you have a tattoo of your wife on your arm?

I don't even have a wife. That is a wild argument. What's your tattoo? Abby, what do you think you're going to do? We've given you a couple options. That wasn't a weird edit. They didn't do that in post. Go ahead, Abby. Jake's got bad internet right now. Go ahead. What are you going to do? I think that I'm going to...

Just say hello to him when I see him and tell him he's always welcome. Can we do a little practice? Let's do this, Abby. Pretend the cat's walking down the street. Let's hear how you're going to do it. Do you mind? Let's just get a practice round in. So I'll be Louis. I'm walking. You see me across the street. I'm walking down the street. My thought, I'm just telling you my POV, is fuck her, man. See, with that attitude, it makes me want to...

Lewis. Sorry. You're always welcome in our home. Always. You'll always be my first cat. That means a lot to me. Thank you. Yeah, that's real nice. Are you going to say that every time? May I tack on one other pitch? I'm going to call it pocket tuna.

Gross. Oh, wait. I like this idea, I think. Okay. Go back to the love interest thing? This is, nope. This is you in some, either when you see Louis or when you're going out, throw a little tuna in a Ziploc bag and just have it on you just in case you see him and give him a little tuna from the hand. Eliminates the raccoon problem. We're starting the connection with a bribe again.

Your new nickname is Pocket Tuna. I don't hate it. I mean, I've been going by Parmesan floor for a couple years. By the way, Pocket Tuna. And first of all, I can't believe Steve Berg didn't pitch it. I love Pocket Tuna on a hike. By the way, Eric Edelstein brings his own vegan cheese to restaurants.

Why not just not have cheese? He just brings his own thing. Brother, will you grate this? So, Abby, what do you think of a little loving thing to Lewis every time you see him? And honestly, I think Gareth is dead right. Have a little pocket tuna and just throw it his way. So he's like, God damn, she's reaching out. She's reaching out. That's genius, yeah.

I think I'm going to have to do that. Are you going to pocket Tuna and say nice things to him every time? Yeah, probably. Especially now that it's warmer, he's going to be really out and about. Let me ask you a question, Abby. Yeah. In 2016, you're a college graduate. You're watching Hot Rod. You're having a good time. You buy yourself a cat. You're proud of yourself. You love this cat. What was his first nickname as a little kitten? Well, Louis is the nickname. Okay. So what's his full name?

C.S. Lewis after the author. Wow. So it's Lewis. Wow. And so. Lion, the witch and the wardrobe. Yeah. We call him Lou. You call him Lou. Would you ever give him a little pet name when you're, um, you ever use a voice or anything when you're petting him? No, I straight up talk to him. Like I'm talking to you. Okay. So it's just Lewis, you know, you're a good boy. I'm glad I have you kind of vibe.

Yeah, and maybe that's why he left is because he wanted something a little bit more friendly. No, Abby, I think you're perfect as is. I think he left because I don't think he's like, what I didn't like about Abby is she didn't use a certain tone with me. I think what he didn't like about Abby was he thought there's more food elsewhere. If we've learned one thing from this season, it's that

Some people, some cat lovers are making songs for their animals. So there's no right way here, but all we got to do, Abby, what I was looking for is if there was a voice that could trigger in him. I'm not this weird alley cat. Oh yeah. Remember home? Remember home? So if it's just the way you say Lewis with some pocket tuna, I think you would do it, but we're just trying to let the cat know, I get you live in this new house and I'm happy. You're happy.

You tell me the day you're coming home, CS, and we got your bed. I don't care if there's a dog and more kids. You were here first. It's true. And the kids love him, so they'll welcome him back.

Of course they will, and the dog will figure it out. Get everyone with tuna in their pockets. All right, Abby. Well, let us know how this goes and if there's contact. Yeah. But by the way, this is a big follow-up because, you know, this one could be a multi-arc story, but I got a feeling within the next 12 months, Louis is going to sleep at home one night. Wow. Bold prediction. Wouldn't that be something? That would be great. All right, Abby. Good luck putting tuna in your pockets. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Producer Gareth here. Hey, if you want to hear the first call. Now to producer. Okay. If you want to hear the first call before this follow-up, Talent Gareth here. Episode 24 is the original call. Hello. Hello. Welcome back to the show. We're here to help. You're with Jake and Gareth. Can we get your name, please?

Kirby. Kirby. And Kirby, what was your first problem? I wanted to ditch my husband in the middle of the woods. Oh, wow. This was a while ago. Birthday present? It was like over a year, yes. Right. Right, because he liked Survivor shows, but you thought he was a sissy.

No, I didn't think he was a sissy. I just, you know, wanted him to get the full experience. Right. And it was for his, oh, this was Johnny Bananas episode. Yes. Yes. Oh, wow. Yes. Right. Right. This was Johnny Bananas from the challenge. Season 40 was great. Did you watch it? I'm halfway through it. Closer to two thirds of the way through. It's a wonderful season. Great season. Okay. So Kirby, what was our final advice to you? Do you remember?

Yeah, you guys had great advice. You helped me just kind of figure out a plan to like drop a map and get him to go to certain locations and things like that and set up different like challenges for him. Well, I think we all died from incense. Yeah. What happened? No, unfortunately. Okay, so...

Apparently, it's a lot harder to drop people in the middle of the woods than they make it look like on TV. Finding a location was a little bit tough. Wait, you really did this, Kirby? Well, you know... Okay, okay. Sorry, sorry. I jumped. I jumped. You go ahead. I jumped. Okay. You're good. I did try. Like, I had...

Wow. Yeah.

I was about to rent an Airbnb and had a big plot of land and just have it set up to go camp out there. And then fortunately, we got really some devastating news. His mother passed away. So I couldn't go through with it for his 40th birthday.

Makes sense. But I was still committed to it. I was like, okay, we'll just push it off and push it away. So I pushed it off till the fall, summer. Because his birthday is actually in January. Okay. When the rich leaves both go down. So I...

Found a camping ground that's really nice and had a beach nearby where we could set some stuff up. And I had it all planned out. I was just going to be production and setting up stuff for him to do and make it fun for him. And the day of the camping trip...

Like he came home and he was like in the worst mood ever. Like just not wanting to participate. And also it was like the tail end of a tropical storm that day. So, and not great, not great for a situation, but I'm like, you know what? We're just going to do it. We're going to power through and just like try and have a good time. Usually like I can get him out of these bad moods. Usually like, you know. But he was in a funk. Yeah.

It was just one of those bad days at work that you're just like, I just want to go to bed and be done. I don't want to get dropped off in the middle of nowhere and try to survive for 48 hours. Yeah, I don't want to go camping in a comfortable dorm. I don't want to get dropped in the woods by my wife who I trust. I want to watch TV. I don't want to try to not die for a couple days. And then have her leave me there and have to survive my way out because one of my enjoyments is watching survivor shows. And she called some dumb podcast and now I'm literally hunting beavers to live.

Exactly. I don't want to throw rocks at squirrels and hope I get lucky so I get a meal. Yeah, I think where he's coming from makes sense. Totally. Oh, for sure. For sure. But I was just like, no, we're going to power through and do this. So on the drive up there, I'm like, you know what? Let me prepare him for this a little bit because he still didn't know anything about it. Where did you tell him you were going? Yeah. Oh,

Just camping. Just camping. And your plan was what? You were going to ditch him out there? Not ditch him, but I was going to make him camp on the beach and build his own little situation. You were going to just say, hey, I'll stay here. I'll stay here. You go over there and dig a hole in the sand. Yeah. And you know how production will drop off like, oh, look, a bird kind of dropped a fish. Yes, of course. They'll give you a way to win.

Yeah, random hat. I would love to see this guy like fishing in that lake all by himself. Mad. Yeah. Yeah, with like a weird string he creates. Yeah. While Kirby's eating hot dogs. Yeah, well, she's smoring it up. Yeah, exactly. She's got a cooler. Power bank, everything. Yeah, of course. Three seconds in. You're literally watching movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I'm just kidding. Oh.

Oh, really? He's being chased by a badger watching Twilight as he's sucking venom out of his own arm. I just completely forgot about him. I'm like, oh, shoot, I was supposed to go do something. And so you take him out there. He's in a bad mood. How do you cheer him up? Well, I decide to play the podcast for him. Oh. I was like, okay, he needs to know what's going on. I'm like, oh, you need to listen to a great podcast.

You know, it's got Jake Johnson and this comedian, Gareth Reynolds, that they're great and they're so funny. I'm like, that's me. And he's like, that's you? And I'm like, yeah. And I was like, so do you want to do this? I'm going to be in production. We're going to set up. And he's like, no, I just want to go camping, I guess. And so just probably crashed the bird. I'm remembering the first call. You did have a little bit of,

that he was talking about these shows, but your vibe now when I said he was a sissy, you said no 'cause you know he's gonna hear this.

But you were kind of saying, like, he watches these shows, but he could never do them. Am I wrong, Gareth? Do you remember this? No, I think you were... Well, I was just, like, I wanted him to, like, realize, like, hey, going out there and getting eaten by bugs is not as fun as it is. Yeah. Exactly. That's what I was... You wanted to hop the bubble. There was a little bit of heat to it. Yeah. A little bit. For sure. 100%. Yeah. Because he does have that... Go ahead. The air of, like, I could do that. I could do that. And it's, like...

Yeah, but I don't think you think you want to do it. Like, you know what I'm saying? I didn't articulate that correctly, but... It doesn't matter. Jake's being weird. Okay, so you drive... So he says no. So then what's the pivot? You just go camp?

We just went camping. The tropical storm was going through still and it rained for like the whole night and morning through and then our tent started to leak on top of us. Kirby. Kind of a...

downer no kind of a bad call it's like it sounds like he was in a bad mood he was in a bad mood and you're like he didn't tropical storm yeah like i played in the podcast he didn't find it enjoyable he said the whole premise is stupid i said let's pitch a tent he said there's a tropical cyclone i said let's fight through it then we went to a hotel we got bed bugs yeah then we went and got maximum food we got food poisoning

Long and short, we're just trying to ring the bell because we jinxed ourselves right before. I think we can redeem it. Because if we think about it, the idea was to suffer in a nice way. And he did definitely suffer. And then the camping trip the next day, the next two days were beautiful. We had a great time hiking. Who cares? Yeah.

Kirby, our show is not, we hope you have a nice time camping. I'm glad you're having a nice weekend. That has nothing to do with our show. This show is about, you have a

Well, you call in and we try to help you. I hope you guys go camping and have dinner and have a lot of fun. Who cares? Kirby, right before this, right before this, Jake and I were talking about our hit rate on solving problems was getting so high. But guess what, Gareth?

She's early season one. She is. I was going to say, that's an old call. This was early on. Bananas was one of our first 20th guests. Yes, totally. So this is a failure of season one. I agree. It just gets shown its ugly face in season two. Here's where Kirby tries to tell us it's a win. Go ahead, Kirby. Well, the other thing we did is we had ice cream last Friday. I have future advice for solving another problem.

You're giving advice or you're asking advice? No, I've used your advice for solving a different problem than I had. You told someone else to drop someone else in the middle of the woods? But it wasn't a husband. It was their three-year-old. They were trying to get divorced. So I said, just put him in the ocean. I gave it.

I gave advice to my sister who just had a baby, wouldn't stop crying. And she just dropped me off in the woods and cut me off the baby. Put him in the woods, raised by wolves. Bing, bang, boom. So what advice did we give you that you gave to another? Maybe there's a win here. So I had a problem with my mother-in-law, the one that lives here, not the one back in England.

He was always leaning on our counter and blocking a cut through of our kitchen and it was driving me crazy. So I started to sprinkle Parmesan where she leans...

so that would get all over her arms. I tell you guys, it worked. You parmesan the counter. Bring your bell down. Bring it. You parmesan the counter. Kirby, we're taking, we're going out on the win. We appreciate you. Thank you for the follow-up and great job. Parmesan in the counter. What a comeback. Thank you, guys. I really like,

You made a huge difference in my life. Thank you. We appreciate you. Thank you for calling. This was a lot of fun. I was expecting us to not give you a win there, but you just hit a grand slam. You guys did all the work, honestly. Thank you, Kirby. Thanks, Kirby. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash heretohelppod to see our entire catalog.

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix, and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostyke. Animations by Andrew Strzelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand-up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com. Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod.

Hello and welcome or hi, my name is Cole. My name is Andrew. We host a podcast called Podcast But Outside where Cole and I set up a table on the sidewalk and talk to strangers who are walking by. We have a sign on our table that says, hi, be a guest on our podcast and we will pay you $1. We are the only ethical podcast. We're the only podcast that pays. We have really interesting conversations with really fun folks. Like who? Like Marilyn. Okay. And I was somebody else's wife for a while. But the second one worked out. Yeah.

Well, until he died. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. It turned out he had a double life. What? What was the second life? He was a crack addict. Wait, how do you hide that? Hold on. How do you hide? He was a nice old Jewish guy. How did he get addicted to crack?

He started smoking it. I know, but I just, I'm just trying to, I know. That was a good clip. Hey, thank you. And sometimes we even have celebrity friends of ours helping us to interview these random people off the street. Like who? Like Jon Hamm, Adam Scott, Nick Kroll, and Otsuko Okatsuka. So please subscribe to Podcast But Outside on YouTube and podcast apps. And then have a good time. Time.