152: Garage Talk & Bag of Rice
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And we are back.

What's the worst pitch you think we've ever given Gareth in the history of this show that has gone? Can you think of one? Because I remember early we would always talk about how when we would ask them what they were going to do, we were always surprised by the one they took. Is there a call from earlier in our show that you remember that you went like, oh, that's a wild take from these people? I can't think of one specifically that...

But I definitely know there are times where if I were to be like the best friend of the person, I'd be like, don't take that one. Can you think of one? Nothing's really jumping out right now. But I do always feel when we go back, I'm always shocked what people decide to do.

Well, also, like, when it works, like, thinking about the Today one, the update on Gandalf, that was really the one where it felt like... Oh, because that'll have been agreed. Yeah, it felt like we got a little... It felt like we... Because that call, that setup is so good. Agreed. And that fall after that setup is so bad. By the way, at this point right now, this will be out in March, we still won't know what has happened with Gandalf. And if we will, it'll air after this.

He's dead. Okay. Rob, you and Natalie have to. And what is your guys' trauma with ducks? That if a duck has gone for two days. Yeah, they seem so comfy with it. And you're also so confident that a disappeared duck means his death. I mean, I think it's the only explanation, though.

Oh, God. Now we need... You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to drive to Mateo's house and put a fake Gandalf there just to win this. So question for you, Rob. So Gandalf sees the statue and leaves, right? So that part of the story, you still believe Gandalf is alive, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he just then happened to get hit by a truck after he got his feelings hurt, after his courtship with Mateo? Are you saying he took his own life, Rob? He went to look for a new home and then something happened. There's a pond is where his home is. It's getting thin. You're saying he left the pond, walked across the street.

Wobby. Wobby. Wobby. Wobby Wob. Don't do this. Wobby Wob. Don't do this. Now, but you will admit that you believe that he saw the statue of the duck, got his feelings hurt, and went the other direction. I think he was probably scared off by another duck. Yes, I agree. And so couldn't he then in that time have just found somebody else's leg to hump? I hope so.

But you're so confident he's dead. We need him to be okay. So the hope so lets me know that in between those ears of yours, Wabi, you think there's a chance. There's a chance. No, we're talking, baby! Natalie does not believe that, but there is a chance. Natalie, you think there's a chance? No. Okay, thank you, Natalie. But hold on, same logic to you. Natalie, do you believe that the duck saw the statue and was scared off?

I think he was so hurt and betrayed. Oh, stop this. He went down to the road and he killed himself. Natalie. Natalie.

That's insanity. You think he put himself in front of a car? How about this? Next time you think that we're going to create a duck aside, jump in. Yeah, also, Natalie, you were on that call. You're responsible, too. You got duck blood on your hands, too. You do. You're covered in duck blood. Gandalf's blood runs through your fingers as well, Natalie. Hey, I'm not a host. This is all you guys. We got you talking. You told us you weren't going to. This is your second time. So now question for you, Natalie.

You really believe so? Because I truly in my heart of heart believes that the pitch worked. Gandalf went back, saw the statue. I don't know what was going on in Gandalf's head, but whatever it was, he was like, I got to get out of here. So do you believe all of that is true up to this point? Yeah. So then your logic goes, he was so heartbroken that

That he didn't go back to the pond where all the ducks go, they sleep, they eat everything. He went the other direction to the road. Well, he looked for him in the pond. And took nine of his friends. Well, we don't know. There's just, there's all, they say 10 ducks are missing.

Strange. It's called migration. It's possible. I think it's got to be migration. I really think migration could be a big player in all this. Otherwise, this tale is screwier than Gandalf's nine-inch penis. I agree. Because then we are jumping into, it's insane that a truck killed 10 ducks at the same time. What are they, on strike? Also, where are their bodies?

Where are the bodies, Rob? Maybe he ate them. I don't know. Oh, yeah, we're doing candy. This is absurd. Yeah, so, Natalie, question for you, too, here. Sorry to be Columbo on this one, but one more thing. Where are the 10 duck bodies?

They were cleaned up. There's a roadkill service, obviously. Natalie. You think Mateo's just out on the road all day looking for the duck bodies? Natalie, I drive back and forth across this country. There is no roadkill cleanup department. Yeah. Believe me. Also, what is that department? The roadkill? Who's financing that? I'll tell you, when it comes to budget cuts, that went a long time ago.

Your job is to clean up ducks that got run over by drugs because they were heartbroken? Yeah. Because the guy they were courting put up a statue? It's in weird duck corners. I hate to see it, but I think they probably moved on. This isn't something a government pays for. While this duck died from truck injuries, I think he passed away from a broken heart a long time ago.

I don't even know what to say to follow that story up. I agree. I agree. Well, maybe it's time we just get to the show. But I think some of us are going to keep a light on in the window for old Gandalf. Well, I think there's going to be a big follow-up on it. And I think the Gandalf story has been one that has piqued the interest. Of America.

And the world. And the world. You said he was dead, too. That was a while ago. All right, guys, without further ado... Hello. Hello. How are you? Oh, I'm doing great. How are you? Great. Welcome to the show. We're here to help. We appreciate you calling in. Yeah, of course. Can we get your name, please? Yeah, my name is Aaron. Aaron. Where are you calling from, Aaron? Calling from Northern California. Ooh, what part? Northern California.

Kind of outside of Oakland. Oh, outside of Oakland. You know, I did a thing at Pixar once. Got to spend a lot of time in beautiful Oakland.

I love it up there. Went to Alcatraz. Not to brag. It's not about me. It's about you. Pixar and Alcatraz. It feels like a lot of you details in this intro for him. I got excited. Yeah. You're really opening up like you never have before. I don't know what's happening. Nobody does. You've always got weird. You're being strange. I'm feeling strange. I'm wearing sweatpants. Aaron, just take over, man.

What's going on today? We're going to get some details about you as we go. I blew the intro. Aaron, Northern California. You know what I wrote like an idiot? I wrote on my little notes, Pixar. So Pixar, so you're now taking notes on yourself in your notebook. Jake, can you just autograph it? Aaron, what's going on, buddy?

Okay, I've been dealing with something. So about a couple months ago, I was talking to my mom and she brought up that her boyfriend had a surgery. And I said, oh, you know, what was what's going on? What's going on with surgery? And she kind of became cagey about it and changed the subject. Yeah. So then a couple weeks go by and she brings up, you know, we're on the phone again. She brings up that her boyfriend has surgery. And I asked what's going on.

And she said, oh, you know, he had a surgery on his groin. And I said, oh boy, did he have like a sports hernia? What went on? And she didn't really give me any details and kind of changed the subject. But now I'm getting really concerned, you know, what's going on with him? Did something go wrong? So then we finally are all together, me and my wife and my mom and her boyfriend, and

The surgery gets brought up again and I asked, hey, what's going on? And now the boyfriend's there with her and they both changed the subject. So later on that day, I kind of corner her boyfriend just kind of one on one. I said, hey, I'm concerned about you. What's going on with the surgery? Are you guys OK? And he turned to me and he said, Aaron, I'm.

I've been dealing with erectile dysfunction my whole life, and I got a prosthetic penis installed. This can't be real life. Aaron, please. This is 100% real. Wait, hold on. On the Bible. On

on the Bible. Okay. And I completely turned red and I'm pretty sure I just gave him a thumbs up and walked away. You don't want to show an erect thumb to the poor guy. Yeah, but also what kind of response is that? Yeah, just like, oh, terrific. All right, buddy. And then the walk away mid-conversation.

I hope you guys were in a room without doors, like an elevator. You just walked to the other side of the elevator and faced the wall. I hope you do the wrong exit move where you go the wrong way and have to do the cross back over. Hey, okay, buddy. So mom's boyfriend says he's had a hard time getting erections, and now he's got a surgery. Can you explain what the surgery is, Aaron? I'll walk you. Oh, go ahead. Well...

Here's where things get even more weird. I can't get this out of my head now. So when I get home later that day, I tell my wife and she's like, oh my God, you just had to push with the surgery. You had to keep looking for an answer because I just thought it was weird. By the way, Aaron, of course you did. You didn't do anything wrong. You're the victim here, brother. Yeah, thank you. So I was concerned and I walked into a grenade. Yeah.

And my wife is telling me, you know, now every time, you know, we see your mom and she's smiling and having a good time. We know why. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, you're in a world of trouble, Aaron. You're in a world of trouble. We talked to some friends about it. And then that led to all of us researching types of prosthetic inserts. We found there's two types. There's one that's like a metal rod. And then there's one that's inflatable.

Wait, hold on. You get a metal rod inserted so you're walking around with an erection 24-7? All the time. How do you get on a plane? That's a perfect first question. How do you get through TSA? These are all questions I don't have the answers to. That's fair. Inflatable, meaning you pump it? Apparently, what we researched is there's...

But that I get. We have an inflatable mattress in our house. I know how to do those. That I get? That's not right. I don't get a metal rod in your body at all times giving you a full-on erection. I don't. That makes no sense. Okay. All right. So you guys do the research. Keep going.

Then we just start going down weird paths. You know, as friends, does my mom have some sort of app that she presses a button when she's ready and all of a sudden, there it is? We just, we're losing our minds over here. And I don't know where to go forward with this. Do I bury it? Do I approach my mom with this? What do I do? Okay, so this is a first. This is a first, Gareth. And I'll tell you why it's a first.

The question's pretty open-ended. It's, I'm in hell, how do I get out? Because I think, Aaron, I think that's what we're looking at. So essentially, just to recap, and this is more just, I'm going to say it out loud again and see if anything comes up for Gareth and I just to start it, but mom's boyfriend, how old is this guy? He's in his 60s. What are we calling him? Ed.

Yeah, we're not giving real names here. Okay, so we'll say Ed. I feel like that's quite embarrassing. Okay, we'll call him Ed. And what's Ed's vibe? What does he look like? Oh, he's a cool dude. Yeah, just a chill, cool guy. He's a cool guy. My mom's been divorced, you know, she's been divorced twice. Okay.

My mom's been divorced twice. She met him five, six years ago. They've been together ever since and they moved in together and he's a really good dude. They got a nice thing. The problem is Ed can't get erections and your mom's like, I'm not done in that area of my life.

And Ed goes. That's what I didn't want to hear. I hear you. But we got now, Aaron, unfortunately, you called in. We got to talk it out. Oh, yeah. So this is now a safe space. But what we got to do is we got to go through the fire a little bit to get to the other side. Yeah. Because we will get to the other side on this one. But we got to. It's going to be uncomfortable for you, for our audience, for us. No one's going to like it.

yeah i mean we're talking about how the guy your mom is dating had a surgery on his penis so he can bang her i mean this is not going to be this is classic jake pam stuff all right we're good uh we're good here um gareth what did you do when your mom and i first went through this it didn't happen she asked me to go through the surgery when she asked me to shrink no not true all right this is when the water clings to you

There's no surgery there. I know, because you have goggles on. You stay underwater the whole time to watch me get out of the pool. I'm talking about when you get out of the pool and the water suctions to you. I saw. I know what you got. The water suction shorts. I know what you got. The only guy who would say that and know that reference is not a guy who likes the size of his crotch.

I know you know the move. You get out of the pool, first thing you do is get that. Not let a random see that. That won't scare people. Nature's not going to x-ray me. This isn't about us, though. Again, it's not about Oakland and Alcatraz and the way our shorts look when we get out of pools. This isn't a Pixar call. So, Aaron, your mom's with Ed. What are we calling mom? So if he's Ed, what's she?

She can be Phyllis. Okay. Phyllis. That's how it really works. Yeah, it really does. And so Ed's going through some surgeries. You keep asking what's happening. And finally he says he got this surgery. Do we know if the surgery was successful?

i have no idea um i know that he's healed okay there there was a time that's why i kept getting brought up you know oh you know i need to check on my boyfriend make sure like he you know he's doing okay he might need a couple more weeks first check on him well i gotta say i'm gonna tell you aaron my first instinct

is I think we got to go all the way through. I think we... I agree. That's exactly what I think. Really? That's where I'm... Yes. Okay. I think the... It's too weird right now. What you're living in now is the nebulous version, which sometimes is almost worse than the closure version. Yes. I think you want to know the actual reality. I think the reality is that it took and, you know... But you need the details because you're living in... The scariest part of a horror movie is before you see the monster. Right.

Once you see the monster, you go like this. That's okay. Yeah, whip it out. I agree. But all of a sudden, you're just hearing sounds. You're hearing footsteps. Your character's in a hallway. You don't know if all of a sudden your mother in a pair of lingerie, sorry, thinking of Pam, is all of a sudden pressing buttons, and then all of a sudden this robot dick goes like, Well, Jake's obviously living in a version that isn't real. Explain why.

Repeat what you just said and I'll explain where it goes off the rails. The mother presses a button and the robot dick crawls out of Ed's pants like alien. Just going like, there you go. Right there. How? Right there.

Where it's crawling out of the pants, acting like an alien, screaming. So what do you think it does? I think, well, my guess, we got a rod put in. You do? My guess is we just got a rod put in. But what is it, what are the mechanics of it? I think it's, like you said, it's pretty straightforward. I think he's dealing with 24-7 wood. Hey, Aaron. Yeah. What's your relationship with Ed? You guys text buddies?

Uh-oh. Occasionally we'll, you know, ask each other questions, but we're not going out to lunch together, just the two of us. So when you were in the room with him, can you walk us through exactly what happened again?

So he wanted to show me something cool with his car in the garage. So I figured that's the perfect time to ask. His penis on a lift. Changing things up here a little bit. A guy who has his surgery says to me, I want to show you something cool in my garage. I'm saying pass. I am also. I think I'm good with everybody else in the living room, my man. All right. So he wants to show you something cool. You guys go. Keep walking us through it.

Yeah, and then I just ask again, hey, you know, I'm concerned. Are you okay, you know, with this surgery? I don't really know what's going on. And then that's when he turned and told me what he said, that he'd been dealing with that for a while. So how did he say it? Will you try to use the exact words as you can remember? Can we do something, Gareth? Will you be...

I mean, be Aaron. Yeah. And then will you try, will you try Aaron to be Ed? So we, and maybe put a little heat on how Ed actually talks so we can get an image of this to actually try to get the real picture. But if, if, if Gareth starts going in a direction that isn't what really happened, Ed, I'm giving you, Aaron, I'm giving you the power to say cut.

Or just to soft direct. You don't have to cut. I mean, we're rolling. Jesus Christ. It's on video. You ever been on a set? Yeah, it's on video. Let's cut. It's unusable footage. No, that's wrong. You always want as many options. We're running out of light. You always want as many options in the edit as you'd understand. The sun's going down. That's why I'm going to nail it. I'm just saying. And cut. No! What? Don't cut! You're already not like Aaron. All right, here we go. All right, ready? Ready, Aaron? Yeah. All right, action. Action.

Oh, yeah. So how's everything been going? Are you doing all right? Aaron, I just want to tell you something that I've been dealing with ED kind of my whole life. And we decided that I was going to get a prosthetic inserted into my penis. So you're good?

Wait, is that the... Not so you're good. Weird question. By the way, alone in a garage after that saying so you're good, you're hitting on him. Hey, by the way, if we're giving direction, a little more buildup. Let my guy get in there a little bit. No, by the way, we're giving direction. Aaron, perfect. No.

Now, Gareth, response is so good. Who am I? Is as weird of a response as you could get after hearing that. Well, I'm giving you options. Let me do more. No. I'll get another one. Let me do another one. As weird of a response to I got in there. I got another one. I got a percent put in there. So you're good? I got another one. Hold on. So, Aaron, is that really what happened? Awesome. Yeah, he kind of whispered a little bit to me. Yeah, he whispered to me. And like I told you, I just gave him a thumbs up. And you walked out of the garage? Yeah.

Yeah, I gave him a thumbs up and I said, cool. And then we went back into that. This is shocking. Your reaction ages worse and worse. That is a shocking reaction. By the way, everything is shocking. I mean, he must have lost his fucking mind when you gave him the thumbs up and laughed. But also to share that is shocking. Awesome. And then you leave. Have you talked to him since then?

I mean, we've seen each other, but I haven't talked to him about it. But hold on, Aaron. We're jumping. We're jumping. And I'm sorry just because this stuff's important to me. You say awesome, give a thumbs up, you walk out of the garage. Is this accurate? Yeah, that's how I remember it. I either said awesome or cool, one of the two. Same difference. Cool. So you walk out, then you're in his house?

Eventually he's got to come back in the house. What's the transition back into just civilization? Run into the woods. Yeah, he came back in after me and then I buried that information until I got home and told my wife. And so you guys then just went back to whatever it is you guys were talking about the next 45 minutes to an hour and a half, however long the hang was, just didn't bring it up again? No. Okay. So then you have not brought it up with him or your mom since? No.

Nope. You talked about it with your wife, you and your friends and your wife. You've kind of got into this. You've gone a little bit deep. You're living in apocalypse now right now. Your head's spinning. You don't know what's up and what's down. You decide to call on a podcast. You have made the right call. And that's where we're at right now? Yes.

Holy shit, Gareth. Well, I did a little research real quick. And the rod one is basically what we're saying. It is a semi-hard rod that always stays that way. And it looks like the way you deal with it is you just kind of tuck it. Remember like when you were in like

junior high and you'd get a yes it's always semi-hard yes and then lives in that from the research and I can't believe you're a research guy yeah but from our things are bad but from our from will you walk us through what it's saying how that like honestly how that works okay because I can't wrap my honestly don't wrap I'm also worried about the future of my pop-up ads I'll be honest with you

What you have done on that computer is way worse than right now. There's no need to come attack me. I'm your buddy here. We're all buddies here. Semi-rigid rods. Semi-rigid devices are always firm. The penis can be bent away from the body for sexual activity and toward the body for concealment. Okay, hold on. We have an image. It'll go on the IG, obviously. But there's a semi-rigid... Okay. Okay.

Nice. That's perfect. Thanks for that, Rob. Okay, interesting. So what it basically is... Looks like a half-peeled banana. Okay, so it can go up or it can go down, and there's probably some device that could do it. Okay. So this is soft penile implant and then malleable and inflatable. And inflatable devices, which are the most common...

can be inflated to create an erection. Other times, three-piece inflatable implants use fluid-filled reservoir implanted under the abdominal wall. Holy shit. Yeah. A pump and a release valve can be placed inside the scrotum with two inflatable cylinders inside the penis. This is a good time. That's what we researched, like a button that you can press under the scrotum. I think it's this one. And so I wonder, I hope the button's like in the chote right under the balls.

I hope it's not like a remote switch. Yeah, I hope it's not like a remote control. Because guess what? Imagine if you lost it. Oh, my God. Or just some people have a remote bin when you walk into their room. I'm trying to turn the volume up. Stop hitting that one. Don't hit that one again. That's not volume up. You're wrestling with Ed and somebody hits the remote.

No, I really hope it's a button right under the balls that, you know, you got to get, you got to kind of like, you know, if you're like dryer needs to be reset, you have to like open up a weird cover, put your hand in and like find the little like button. I want it to be like that. So that thing's only turning on if mom's getting her hand, rolling up her sleeves and getting her hand in there.

But that's nice. That's good for you. One of my friends brought up the point with technology. Like, does my mom have an app now where she just presses a button and. Incredible. Risky. Yeah. But also I will say this. First of all, modern medicine's incredible. Yeah, this is good. This changes a lot. When my dad had prostate cancer and they removed his prostate, he called all sad and he said, they killed my dad.

So seeing this, I'm like, man, they could have put this right in Krakow and we could have had an app. That would have been a lot of fun for the big guy. It's not too late. It is too late. He's passed away. No, I mean, okay. Yeah, fair enough. What are you going to do it in the ground? Well, there's, let's, let's, let's stay focused. By the way, you know, it's really gross if you die and the machine still works. That's a prank for us.

Open casket. If it's an app. Open casket. When one of his girlfriends goes up, his old girlfriend, the wife goes up. So sad. Nothing. His first girlfriend goes up. The priest. So let's figure out what we're doing now. I think your instinct is right, which is I think you just want closure on it.

What I would do is I would keep it between you and Ed, and I would say—this is what I would do. I would get another moment alone with him, steal another moment alone with him. I would say, hey, you know, last time we talked about your surgery—

I don't think I gave you the response that was fair. How are you doing? Are things okay? You would lean into the sincerity. And I would, yeah, and I would get a little more information. I would find out it's inflatable. I would find out that it's working. And I would just come to terms with the fact that my mother is now getting hammered by a kid's party balloon. I have a crazy pitch.

It's somewhat like that, Aaron. But I need to know, when I start this, if you're a no, cut me off. We don't need to waste time on it. By the way, I will say, I love where he's going already. Yeah? And this could be show history. What do you mean? This could be big for the show. Oh, well, this is a real pitch in my opinion. But the reason I say that is, if you don't feel that way, then it's a bad pitch and let's abort because this is something I could get teased for.

Aaron, would you ever consider lying to Ed and saying that you also have ED? And asking him, saying, hey, man, can I talk to you privately just between us? And he'd go, sure. And go, I think it's really brave what you went through and you're talking, but this is something that I struggle with. Can you walk me through the procedure? What happened? What do you got? Does it work? You know, it's obviously awkward, but I just need to know the details of this for us to see if this is something I ever want to do.

So I like where you're coming from, but then my first thought is he's going to then tell my mom that I got ED.

Okay, I got to pitch off of that. First of all, that doesn't matter. Agreed. So what? Your mom thinks you got a foot in it. She's dating a guy who's got a limp one. Yeah, but also Aaron. Who cares if your mom doesn't give you a bonus? Yeah, now she's going to see me and give me a pat on the back and be like, it's okay, son. Who doesn't want a pat on their back from mommy? Adult men. Okay, Jake Chubb shit there. How about this? How about we do this? How about you get a moment alone with Ed? One of us right now will make a voice memo for you.

And you can play it for Ed. And you basically set it up as you told a buddy about Ed's surgery to another couple friends of yours, just kind of asking what they knew about it. And one of your friends reached out privately with a voice memo asking for advice and maybe if you could ask Ed to tell him what to do next. And so that way you get insight into Ed's procedure without really prying. Interesting. I've got another one. I've got another pitch. Okay.

This is a weird one. What if we tried to get Ed on the show? Show history. Oh, I... No? I think you'd be too embarrassed. Okay, I understand. I understand. Here's what I'm trying to get to, Aaron, and I think this is what Gareth... Gareth just wants to do the voice note, but here's what... I want Ed on the show more. Yeah, well, here's what I think we really want more than anything, and I can say that for us.

is to see what the follow-up in the second half of this is. Because I think there's too much info here. Like, Aaron, we can't officially give you advice. Our advice to you is we need to get more information from Ed, and we might have to run a mile to go a block. So here's what my real advice is. Can you text him?

i can yeah so what i would suggest is we create a text to start the conversation with ed and then we're gonna need a follow-up to go to the next step is that gareth what are you thinking when i say that like let's think about aaron as a real guy we don't want to put him in a bad situation we don't want it more awkward i'm just thinking for the best shortest path

Like making a guy text it out feels like, here's why it's weird. Because then Ed goes to Phyllis and goes, Hey, no, I have a pitch. I have a pitch. Okay. Aaron, you text Ed. Hey pal, thinking about your surgery, wondering, has it been successful? You doing okay? Yeah.

Because you didn't handle it correctly. He confided in you, man. But you're not going to get all the information out of it. I know, but we're starting. We're waiting to be. That's why I would go. I would do the corner. I would do the corner and be like, let's get it all out on the table. You got a balloon in your cock? Do you do it in person? Yeah. I would do it. I would almost replicate the first version of it. And instead of the thumbs up, awesome storm out. All right, let's do this. Let's do this for real. You do this.

You are Aaron. Okay. And then Aaron, will you be Ed? Here we go again. Okay. And then this is... Let me breathe a little out there. Can you give us the kind of pitch that when the next time you think you'll see him is? Okay. When is the next time you'll kind of see him?

Um, I don't know. We usually see my mom and him probably twice a month. Okay. So you'll probably be at the house. You got a minute. Okay. All right, here we go. Ready? We're in the garage. We've sidebarred somehow. We're in the garage again. Back in the garage. Back in the garage where it all started, where I gave the thumbs up and said, cool. All right. Hey, Ed, I was wondering, are you doing better physically? I know you had that procedure. How are things?

Oh, Aaron, thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm all healed up and

Things are going great. Okay, good. I'm glad to hear that. I know the last time you told me, maybe I got a little uncomfortable, but I just was not expecting that answer. I actually have a friend who had, when I talked to him a little bit about this, he has a similar situation. He was wondering what exactly was the procedure like, and he's wondering, would you recommend it? What did they do?

Well, the procedure was pretty quick and easy, but the recovery was a while. And we went with the inflatable option. I got to jump in. Oh, what is that now? I got to jump in. Is that a remote? So I'm going to try this aversion, you and me. I want to go away from the friend. It reminds me of the...

I've got my friend has a problem. My friends don't. And you go, well, you know there's no friend. It's you. Voicemail helps. So let's try again. I'm going to try being you. You're Ed. We're back in the garage. Hey, Ed, what's going on? Oh, doing great. Nice, man. I'm loving what you're doing with this car. Thanks for showing it to me. Yeah, thanks. Took a lot of time into it. Yeah, I can tell. Hey, man, I just want to say, how's everything going with that surgery? Did everything turn out okay? Yeah.

Oh, thanks for asking, Aaron. You got it. Yeah, everything's good. I'm all healed up. No way. Great. And, you know, it's obviously an uncomfortable thing, but is it all working? It's working just as we hope it will. Ah, good for you. Good for you. Hey, what'd you do? You do the pump? Yeah, we went with the pump. You went with the pump over the rod. Yeah. Why'd you do that? Why'd you choose that? Because, you know, I've looked at it, you know, the rod seems invasive. Oh, is there a button underneath the balls? No.

Where'd you put the button? Hey guys, it's me, Phyllis. I made some lemonade. Sorry it took me so long to walk over here. I'm in a bit of pain. I have lemonade inside if you guys want it. It feels like this conversation should be over. My hips are killing me. One of my hips is out of socket. In a good way. In the best way possible. Get in here and I've been pressing the remote. So Aaron, how are you going to do this, man? How are you going to get more information out of Ed?

I think our role-playing has helped. I think just kind of asking him how they go and then how does that work? Because I don't know anything about it. Let's try this for a second because you know both characters. Let's do a little bit of Eddie Murphy for a second. And will you play both characters?

Will you play you, Aaron, and Ed, and try to give us a very real read of how it might go down so we can maybe give notes on it? Yeah, I could try. Okay, so you are now both characters. You don't have to say, and then he said, he said. We can tell that there'll be slightly different voices. Okay. But you are now in the garage looking at the car with your mother's boyfriend. He's got a peanut on him. Okay.

Hey, Ed, how's it going? The car looks great. Oh, thanks, Aaron. You know, always trying to make it better and trying to get the car to where I want it to be. Hey, Ed, I really apologize about the way I handled our last discussion about your car.

private situation. And I just wanted to follow up and make sure you're doing okay and make sure that everything's working in the way it should. Oh, thanks, Aaron. I appreciate it. Yeah, everything's good. I'm all healed up and the procedure worked and we are moving forward, me and your mom together the way that we want it.

I can't believe I'm saying this out loud. Aaron, please keep going. You're doing a wonderful job. You got to, this is where you got to now put your closet and make your move.

Speaking of that, Ed, I was just curious about how does this whole thing work? How does a surgery like this go through? Are there different ways to accomplish this? What happens here? Well, Aaron...

I don't want to get into too many details, but there's a metal rod version and there's an inflatable version. And I decided to get surgery on the inflatable version because it seemed to be less invasive on my body. Oh, that's great, Ed. So how does it inflate? Well, Aaron, there's a...

There's a little button underneath my scrotum that I can push. You're in a money zone. A wrist-scrot control. Here's what we need you to do. And I say this now seriously. I think you're ready for this job. Well done. The reason I wanted to hear you do it is to hear if this was going to be a danger zone. I think you got it. I think what we need to do, and I think you need to follow up with us,

Can you please, and I don't think we should record it. I think that would be too embarrassing for Ed. I think we just, I think you have to actually just do it and report back to us and maybe you do both voices. I want to keep Ed's privacy private on this, but I think Aaron, you're ready for this chat.

I do too. I think you should do it ASAP. Then when you get all the information, keep your vibe as your vibe. You're not, you're just getting the information because he had surgery. You know, if you have surgery, people ask questions just because his surgery is about getting a pump in to give a thumbs up and walk away is creating a weird thing. He was confiding in you. So let him get it all out. Ask all the natural questions, um,

And then there's going to be a real natural pitch after that. And the pitch will probably be now that you know everything, great, it's over. This is what they choose to do. Sounds cool. I would steer clear of words like cool and awesome. I agree. But I think that's right. I think you... We just got to get to the other side. It's uncomfortable for him. I mean, you're talking about a fucking blimp in his cock. Yeah. Like this is not... Just remember like... If it's big enough, it might be uncomfortable for her.

Yeah, it very well could be. Probably is. And don't be afraid to ask if he still shoots ropes. If she picked the size. Yeah, if she was involved on it. But I would say, Aaron, what we need... If you could see the remote, can you play with the remote? But I would for sure, Aaron, have this talk with him and then call us back. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I can do that. How are you feeling about it? Yeah, I think, you know, making sure that he knows that

I'm somebody safe he could talk to about it. Yes. I think that the next progression will just be trying to work through that that's happening to my mother, but

Well, guess what? She probably pushed him into doing it. It's happening to Gareth's mother. Stop talking for a little bit. Here's the reality of it. Any woman your mother's age who's with a man that age normally probably has some version of this going on, whether it's Viagra or something else. Or a woman Gareth's mother's age is with a man my age. Thanks for the call, buddy. Keep us posted, okay? All right. Thank you, guys. See you, buddy. All right, bud. Talk to you later. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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Hi, welcome to the show. Hi. How you doing? Hi. Hi, I'm good. How are you guys? Hi. We're just getting off a big call about Mateo and the duck and Gandalf and what's happening, and it's been a little heavy on our end. Are you familiar with the Mateo duck side of it?

Yes, I can't wait for the update on that. We're not going to tell you. We're not going to tell you. You can wait. But it's an interesting story. But this isn't about Mateo and his duck with his nine-inch penis. This is about you. Can we get your name, please? Okay, I'm going to use a fake name. I'm Megan. That's actually my best friend who introduced me to your show. And when did she do the introduction?

Probably a year ago. Okay, look at you. So Megan, and about how old are you? I'm about 30. About 30. And where do you live about? Las Vegas. Vegas. You a gambler?

Um, okay. What's your favorite casino? Yeah. Uh, the Cosmopolitan. Oh, the Cosmo. The Cosmo. Gareth, you got any questions for Megan or should we get going? Uh, I, I think we should just get going. I, uh, I, yeah, Cosmo throws me for a loop. Uh, but go ahead. What's going on, Megan?

Okay, so I work at a nonprofit and we have a free food pantry. And we often get donations of food, you know, food drives that I coordinate and record all of our donations. For the last six months, there's a guy that regularly mails us a single package of rice. And like, that's nice. Now we appreciate donations, big or small. But I always noticed that he pays $11 in shipping

And this is like a $2 bag of rice. And he's mailing it from within Las Vegas. Okay, we got a picture here. It's nice. Yeah. Wait, so we have a big box and in the box, it's a, you know, a full-size box and there's one package of spaghetti. Spaghetti. Is that it? Oh, yeah. So it's...

It was always rice. And then the last one was spaghetti. Okay, so weird. But it's a huge box with very little yield, like just a small item. Like, was that spaghetti that we're seeing that is just sitting on top of a lot of paper the only thing in a box that size?

Yes. And so the shipping cost $11, but the rice or the spaghetti cost $2 to $4. Yeah. Yeah. And he lives in Vegas. Really weird stuff. It's very strange. And how often is this guy sending these packages? At least once a month for the last six months. Really weird guy. Really weird. It feels like we're tracking a murderer. Yes. Like he's got a calling card move. Yes.

It's just the weirdest calling card move. It's really strange to just do one thing. But okay, keep going.

Well, I guess my problem is I'm looking for a solution to maybe redirect him and his generosity. Ideally, it would be great if I could just get him to be a monthly donor of the non-profit. Like, could he just donate $11 to us every month? Or $13. But as opposed to this. $13, yeah. Like, I would settle for just having him donate the food in a cheaper way. Either way, it just...

That makes me crazy. I mean, I appreciate it. I want to be nice. Megan, this makes a lot of sense, though. Go ahead, Gareth. I got a pitch. Let me ask you this. Megan, do you have any, the return address on the box, is it a residence? Yeah. Oh, great. I'm glad we got it. Go ahead, Gareth. This is what I would do. I would make it seem like you've sent out a mailer

and do it so that it's just to him, but you're making it seem like, hey, it's us at whatever the name of the place is, the nonprofit. Thank you so much for being a monthly donor. We appreciate the donations. We're trying a new thing where we move in the direction of less food drop-offs and more donations so that we can use it for whatever. Okay.

Or Gareth, or Gareth, comma, because we have found a lot of people are overspending on shipping. Yes, I was going to say. That shipping isn't going to, we're finding the majority of our people are losing more money on shipping than they are in donating the food. That's what I was basically going to say. It's like the idea here is that whatever you're spending on shipping costs,

or your package costs, could you just donate that to the nonprofit? Something like that, drop that off at his place.

Or mail it, right? Mail it, right? Well, I mean, yeah, sure, mail it. Sure, if you want to do that. Because dropping off, it's made it a really weird turn. Listen, let's get it. I wouldn't go there, yeah. Live in his yard. And yeah, so mail it. See if you, like, you could put an email address or a phone number. See if you can get him online or see if he just starts donating that money. But it definitely seems like his heart's in the right place. It's just kind of crazy. Yeah.

But just do one thing that makes it seem like it's a massive male. But I really like that idea, Megan. I like that it's a letter to all, but I would also make it specifically to his name as well. So it's like you're getting this along with many others who have been... Or you could do a deer with a line and his name could be written in there. Yes, exactly right. So it feels like more people got it. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Okay, like this was a mass printing and then I just filled in his name. Exactly right. But in going through our monthly donations, we have found you are one of the people who the shipping seems to be cutting into the expenses. I don't even think you need to get that specific. No, I think you would just say we're trying, you know,

We're trying to cater to the tastes of our members more and more. So for what you're spending on shipping, can you just donate that to our fund? P.S. You're a weirdo.

P.S. We dropped this off. P.S. You put one thing of rice for two bucks in a box goofball. Be less of a goofball. But you got a good heart. You got a good heart. But you're a fucking goofball, dude. But really, that's a very... It's like...

It's all tissue paper. Really wild stuff. It's all tissue paper, then it's eight grains of rice. But Megan, what do you think of that? Pretending it's a big email. I mean, pretending it's a mass letter, but then specifically to him and asking rather than spend the shipping to donate just the money or to drop it off. And I wouldn't say drop it off in person, but to just donate the money. What's your thought?

Yeah, I mean, that might get his attention. So I did try one thing where I did send him a thank you card, like a handwritten thank you card.

that said something along the lines of, we appreciate your food donation. Please give us a call and we can discuss the other ways you can support the work we do. And he didn't. And he never called me. I wouldn't call either if I got that. I wouldn't either. But I'll tell you why, Megan. I'm already giving the rice and the spaghetti what I got to call to.

Yeah, the thing you don't want... I gave a $2 thing of rice last month. Yeah, well... I'm a wonderful guy. This would be the Hail Mary. The Hail Mary move would be you and someone else in shirts that show that you work at the nonprofit go to his door and have a clipboard and act like you're going around and trying to get people in person to swap from sending in donations to giving a cash donation monthly.

I'm with a hmm too. See, the thing is we don't know where he's getting it from. Here's my thought. Okay. Send him a huge box and in the middle of the box there's this tiny thank you card. No.

Surrounded by papers. And then it's just a small card saying, we're just sending this to everybody who donates. We appreciate it. And he goes, why such a big fucking box? Oh my God. I got to deal with the box and all these papers. That's insane. And maybe he'll go, I got to take it easy with the packaging. Honestly,

I do kind of, here's what I would do. Start with the one where you pretend like it's a mass mailer. Yes. I think the mass mailer is the move. As your second, I think do something, like if you did something like that and you, like it is such a subversive way to be like, buddy, there's not a lot in this box. Take it easy.

This is a lot of box to deal with, my guy. It's a box waste. But by the way, it's also a pain in the ass. You got to break it down. It fills your recycling. Imagine him having that revelation. Like, there's a lot of stuff around just this one thing. Wait a minute. That's kind of what I do. Maybe he just really likes the post office.

Maybe. I mean, look, we can't get in the head of all these people, but I think that's what I would do. I would do one where you make it seem like a mass mailer, and then the follow-up is I would literally just a huge box, maybe even one of the boxes he sends. Put all the tissue paper, and there's just one little card that says, thank you for your monthly donations.

Okay. Megan, sometimes we feel like we hit home runs and we get the bunt reaction. Yeah, or at least a double. What do you think, Megan? Where are you at on this? I mean, hey, I'm just thrilled I'm calling in. No, Megan, no. No, we have a higher ceiling. This is about success. So what do you think about these pitches and are you actually going to do it?

Well, I wouldn't be opposed to mailing him. I like the mailer idea. Yeah, I think that works. And making it seem like it's not targeted to him. It's just, hey, everybody. Yes. Oh, but one of my coworkers, we did notice that he does have a Hispanic name and we have a very large Spanish-speaking population. He actually thought maybe he only speaks Spanish. And maybe that's why he didn't respond to my thank you card. Oh, that's interesting. Well, then why don't you write a card in English and one in Spanish? Yeah.

Is that? Yeah. Seems like you need to solve. If I did the mailer, I'd have to do maybe like a bilingual mailer. Yeah. Call it the bilingual mailer. And if that doesn't work, send it a big box. Where's your head at? Did, or are you looking for a crazy idea? Where are you at? Let's get in touch with you here for a second. You call us. We didn't call you, right? Yeah. I like the mailer idea. I mean, I was also thinking like,

Would it be crazy to make a donation box, like a food donation box that just happens to now be located in that neighborhood? That's a lot of work. That would be insane, Meg. That's a lot of work. Yeah, I just realized I don't want to go driving. You have to go drive over there. You have to get the legal rights where you could be. Unless you put a donation box right at his door. That's what he would do. We're talking about little work,

For high yield. That's what we're going for. This sounds like you don't work at the place. It sounds like you're the one who sends the rice. Yeah, oh my God, the ultimate twist. And this is a weird turn. You're basically calling in to go like, am I weird? And the answer is, yes, you're weird. I mean, I get why he does it. I mean, it seems cool. So I wouldn't do a weird box in his neighborhood. I wouldn't go to his house.

I wouldn't do the thing where you pretend to be going door to door. If all, if what in the end, what he wants to do is send one thing of rice and spend $11. Look, you can't tell another human how to spend their money, even if they're puzzled. Yeah. It's puzzling, but this is Vegas. We're wasting a lot of money on dumber shit. But what I would do is I, I would put in a letter very clearly that see, and we can help you write it if you want.

But the idea of it would be we have found people are overspending on shipping and your generosity of spirit, we want to get that into food and not into shipping. So perhaps you can wait an extra month and make sure the boxes are pretty packed up because he might be on a tight budget and all he can afford right now is one thing of spaghetti. And guess what? That's really generous. It is. But we're basically saying to him, hey, man, don't spend the nine bucks to ship it, my man. Wait three months.

Rather than send one thing a month, send all of them once in six months. Okay. Yeah. Megan, what do you hate? Megan, what do you hate? Megan, you got one of those reactions where no matter what we do, it feels like we're falling short. Now, is that just your reaction or are you like, none of these are working for me?

Well, I think that's good. I think I'm just like trying to be mindful of it because I don't want to get fired for doing something wrong. But I don't think there's that. Nobody wants that. When you called in, what were you hoping for? To get a promotion? No, I really didn't think of that idea. So I really was thinking like what other ideas like...

I'll go really nice though. Thank you so much. Muchos gracias. Very kind, very appreciative, and then turn with the alternative ways and then end with, or if you want to continue doing it how you're doing it, that is fine too. We appreciate your support.

So much. Everything that everybody does helps our organization so much. P.S. This letter went to a lot of people. Yes. Not just you. And then say his name. It's not just you we're trying to get to the bottom of. And those two people in blue shirts outside who are volunteers putting a little box outside. We're doing that to everybody's house. We're actually putting donation boxes on everyone's lawn. Just so you know. Just so you know. It's not like weird. It's not just targeted.

Also, $2 rice in a big box. So weird, man. We say that to everybody. Okay, let us know. Hold on, Megan. Hold on, Megan. How do you feel about this plan? Are you going to really do it or do you want some more pitches? Where are you at?

I think I can make a mailer because I'm pretty good with like graphic design stuff that I could make a mailer that looks like it's just a normal mailer. I love this. I can make a pretty convincing one. I love this. I think that's the move. And how about this? Let's do this. If you do the mailer and it offends this guy and he doesn't send anything back and you feel like, oh no, I just blew some donations. Yeah.

Then write into the show and we'll figure out another solution. And the show will donate $100 worth of pasta. And it'll make a two-year worth of this guy's donations. Yeah. We'll make it clean and easy. Right? So you won't lose in this situation. We'll make sure that the food is donated. But what we're trying to help first is to save this guy on shipping. Because I think that's the whole point of this call. Mm-hmm. Is that right? Mm-hmm.

Are you happy or sad or medium? Jake, you're not going to get what you want. I'm trying. I'm telling you. I'm feeling connected to her and I feel sad about this. Here's what's going on. She likes the idea, but it's not one of those ones where the person's like, holy shit, that's brilliant. She's going to do it. And we'll go from there. And if we fall short, we'll go from there. Megan, how do you feel? I think the Mallory's a solid idea. All right. Solid. We're going to take solid. We're going to take solid. We're taking solid.

Thank you, Megan. Do the mailer and then seriously, keep us posted. Okay. Thank you. All right. This episode is sponsored by the crisp, refreshing, angry orchard. Listen, guys, there's a litany of things that we shouldn't get angry about, but let's be honest. Sometimes it's hard not to be. Don't get angry at Lamorne Morris for lying.

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Hi, everyone. Producer Jesse here. This next call is a follow-up from our last episode, episode 151. Thanks for the memories. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Welcome back. So we're here to help. We know that you're a follow up. We want to apologize for it taking a little bit for us to jump in. We know we kept you waiting for a minute. A lot of times when we do that, it's because we're late on a call. That's not the case today. Today, Jake had some mic issues that took about seven minutes. And after about seven minutes of people troubleshooting, we realized he had muted it on the actual mic itself. Anything to say, Jake?

Yeah, you know, the thing that I'm trying to explain to Gareth is that when you press the mute button, when it's muted... All right, can we get your name, please?

Yes, of course. My name is Bryce, and my first call was about the tree house in Sherman Oaks. All right. All right. The Sherman Oaks tree. So walk us through what happened. And we also know that Rick Glassman showed up. We know that we had a mole, Rick Glassman. We think we did because he texted us before that he was going. And then he never replied after we followed.

The next thing he sent was something from a, I think a comedy club with your name and like a hand sanitizer. Correct. Yes. Rick's follow-up was a completely different subject. All right. So what's happening?

So we had the party on Saturday, February 22nd, and it was awesome. My dad decided to announce it on the news. So there were a few hundred people who showed up as strangers. No way. Just announcing it to all of Los Angeles. Wow.

So it was massive. We had so much liquor. My parents made jambalaya, ran out immediately. And it was way better than expected because I, you know, the community got to come by and say goodbye. And we had people, strangers who would come up to us and be like, I've been driving past this tree house for years.

the 16 years that I've lived here and I'm so sad to see it go. So that was a lot of fun, but I, I brought up the pinata idea to my parents and they didn't say no to it, but they pretty much said no, but we wouldn't have been able to do it anyways because there were so

so many people there. Do you fully remember the pinot idea? Yes, I do. We were going to hit the treehouse. It's a terrible idea. Here's my question, just to see how humiliated we're about to be. It's a terrible idea. Were you always going to have the party or can we take any credit for that party?

We were always going to have the party. Okay, so our only idea was hit it like a fucking pinata. Did any of our ideas make it into the mix? No, Garrett, they had a very successful party. Let her answer. We said hit it like a pinata. You said that. Bryce, go ahead. Did any of our stuff eat through? All we did was bring Rick Glassman to the party. Quiet. You muted your mic by touching it for eight minutes. And we didn't even do that, by the way. He just went. That's true. Anything we come up with make it in there, Bryce?

So the other thing that y'all said is when the parents go to sleep for the kids to just have a massive slumber party in the tree house. And we didn't put beer pong in the tree house because it wouldn't fit, but we had beer pong on the front yard and we had music blasting facing the neighbor's house, of course, and cornhole. So that was a lot of fun. And my sister and I were going to sleep up there because

because it's the last time to ever sleep up there. And I couldn't find her at 2 a.m. So I went into her room and she was passed out drunk in her bed. So didn't sleep up there, but still up there until 2 a.m. But you were planning on doing all of that regardless, correct?

Yes. Well, we're not sensitive. This is for the statistics of the show. We're excited. This is a win. But first we need to take our loss. Yeah, please. You have won. And please just end this. Drop the guillotine. So you did not do the pinata. So can you remind us what else we pitched? I'm trying to see if there's anything here. Nothing made it.

I mean, he also pitched the pirate theme, which is kind of hard to explain on the news. So no. But we did, we didn't do the pinata thing, but we did get really drunk and start ripping shingles off of the outside of the tree house. That's Jack Daniels gave you an idea, not us. But that's fine. That's fine. Look, okay. We're, we're,

Bryce, look, we lost. It's okay. We're happy for you. I have a couple questions about your event that you figured out on your own, and that's fine, and we're fine with that, and that's great for you. So the show isn't, this episode is not called We're Here to Help. It's just We're Here to Give Bad Ideas, and then you just go do the party you're going to do. Yeah. We're here. We're here talking for some reason. We're here bugging people. We're here for some reason. Season two. Okay, so we'll refresh it.

What was your question? Honestly, I think if my dad didn't announce it on the news to all of Los Angeles, because we even had news outlets come to the party, in the middle of the party, and do a story. So it got way bigger than you expected. Right. If we didn't announce it to all of Los Angeles and have hundreds of people, then we would have been able to do...

the suggestions that y'all had. We didn't know that it was going to get so big, Jake, when we pitched. We were doing a small event. So let me ask you, go ahead, Gareth. Well, here's my question. I'd just like to float this out to Jake as a question. All the questions to me. This question's to you. I thought it was going to be to our guests. Let's say you go, well, I'm questioning something that happened at the event. Let's say you go to a farewell treehouse party. Yeah. And you're excited. You know, you're like, hey, I'm swinging by. Yeah.

And in the yard, someone has a big pot of jambalaya. You eating any? Am I drinking? Yeah, you've played beer pong twice. Yes. Okay. Okay.

I just want to make sure. I don't even eat what's in Jambalaya, but if I'm five beers deep, I'm probably having some being like, don't tell anybody. Yeah, I'm having a scoop or two. By a scoop or two, I mean a bowl. I'm putting in the piñata of the neighbor. Gross. That's a different type of piñata. If you knock down a lady piñata and Jambalaya comes out, wow, is that a statement. But back to the party. Yes.

What's going on with the treehouse? What happened? We understand it was a raging party. Your sister got blackout drunk. Your parents had a blast. The news was there. Did you see Rick Glassman? Yes. So when the news first came out, I think that was on the Thursday before the party, he was just walking his dog down the street and he stopped to

to say hello and ask what's going on. We had no idea who he was. And then we got to talking. That just felt like a dig. Bryce, he's in the business. You don't say that. He looks familiar. That's like saying, you know, I went to a concert. It was his band. We hated all the music. Who cares? No, no. He didn't want...

He didn't walk up and was like, I'm Rick Glassman. No, we know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if he did that, that would be really strange behavior. Yeah, but he had to do that. Yeah. He's got a wonderful podcast. Shoes Off Podcast. Shoes Off Podcast. We've been on it. Yeah, it's great. It's a lot of fun. Great show. But keep going. So he came up. He didn't give you his IMDB when you met him. Correct. Then what happened?

And he just came up and loved the tree house. And every time after that, whenever we were on the front lawn or when I would have my coffee on the front porch and I would see him walk by, he would stop and chat for a while. And he did come to the party. And I think he had a lot of fun.

And it was just a chance to go inside the tree house and see what it's all about. He went into the tree house just to confirm? Yes, he did. Okay. That's great. And what's going on with the tree house now? Where are we at with the city? A bunch of people in our base have been emailing in and writing in and commenting on the Spotify that you can write to the city. They're trying to put up a last second fight. What's happening?

Well, since the party, LA Times, Daily Mail, KROQ, they've all done features on us. There was even a news outlet in New Orleans that picked up the story too. Crazy. Jambalaya.

My dad is from New Orleans. I would say it wasn't. They didn't say, they got Jambalaya? No, every event outside of New Orleans with Jambalaya gets at least a pop. Can you imagine the newsroom like, I got to do a fucking story about a treehouse. I'm flying to Sherman Oaks. All right. So, um,

Any movement? What's happening? How's the city reacting? So there is no movement. My dad went to the city council meeting and...

It was a bust, and so it is scheduled to come down on Friday. Wow. So crazy. There's most likely not going to be a stay. You know what I'm going to tell you about season two so far? And it might have been season one. I'm just not remembering the sadness of it. But with Mateo the duck and this...

Oof, Duck One's hard. Duck One's really hard. We still don't have the final update, but the 2025 has just been a tough start. We got Mateo, we got the Treehouse, and that's everything. You know, we also, we started talking about all the wins we had so early, and we were really feeling on fire. The bell was getting tired, and now this is sad. So on Friday, um...

Just because I guess our show's becoming a downer now. Can we film some of that and post it and have that? Maybe we'll have you on again. Oh, yeah. Maybe we'll have you on post-carry. Yeah, post-destruction. I mean, what is that even going to look like? Is your dad just going to take that down now? Got to hire a service where it's that size.

Yeah. My dad hired a service and they, they were going to take it down tomorrow, but I think it's supposed to rain. So they had to push it back till Friday. Um, yeah, it's sad. However, y'all are saying that there's a lot of losses out there for the show, but I think this is a win because although we didn't save the tree house, I originally called about the party and the party was,

was a hit. Oh, we're talking. And we had no input on that event. All right. Future microphone. Right. Thank you for trying to make us feel better. Truly, thank you for calling in and sharing the story with us. You know, it's... And we're sorry about the house. Yeah, it sucks. It sucks. But this is bureaucracy. Yeah. And congrats on the jambalaya.

Thank you. Yeah, appreciate you. Thanks for calling in. Keep us posted if you rebuild or anything like that. Okay, I will. Thank you. Hold on, hold on, hold on. We got to go. Bye, Bryce. After all that. What? They can't rebuild a tree. Build it underground. Build it underground. Like a little submarine? Build it at Rick's. Okay, thank you so much. Okay, bye. Thanks, Bryce. Take it easy. Bye, see you later. Thanks a bunch. Bye, thank you. Bye, thank you so much. Bye. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash heretohelppod to see our entire catalog.

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions, executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis, associate producer Jesse Thurston, editing, mix, and master by Chris Fowler. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The cover artwork is by James Fostyke. Animations by Andrew Strzelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand-up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com. Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

And a boo-boo.

All video episodes of Season 1 are available now on Patreon, and Season 2 video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com forward slash here to help pod. This podcast is brought to you by AT&T Fiber with AllFi. Whether you're into watching horror movies from your basement, sports from your backyard, or trashy reality shows from inside your car that's parked all the way down the driveway so no one in your family judges you, AT&T Fiber with AllFi is the best way to watch whatever you want from wherever you are.

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