127: New Question: Why Did I Call In?
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And we are back! Now what we were just talking about was malls, Gareth. Remember? Yeah.

What was your favorite go-to thing in a mall? You had mall days when you were in junior high and high school, right? Where that's what everybody did. You'd hang out at a mall. What do you mean? My favorite store? What was your favorite? Back in the day when you'd go to a mall with a couple of cool kids, maybe a Duke starter jacket. Yeah. Maybe you'd take the bus there. San Jose Sharks. Yeah. Miami Hurricanes hat backwards. Buddy, you and I, truly hat back.

Backwards. Same. San Jose Sharks. Go to the mall. Did you ever have Z's in the side of your head? The shaved end? Yeah. No, but I did smoke Newport's.

Wow. All right. No, I smoked, but not Newport's. You weren't into menthols? No, I never was. I always, I liked, I mean, I think the first cigarette I really started smoking was Marlboro Reds. Like, I was like, hey, whatever. I got to have it. They hurt so bad, but they were so cool. So bad. Yeah, always. And then people would be like, dude, you like camels? And I'd be like, dude, I love them. Ah!

I'd be like, nah, I need something stronger. I was 14. Yeah. I'll tell you what I used to love about a mall, and I still miss it. A big slice of Sbarro pizza. Sbarro was unbelievable. And boardwalk fries. Sbarro pizza. Did Sbarro ever exist anywhere outside of a mall or airport?

Probably. I don't think there's no brick and mortar Sbarro where people are like table for two. But those slices in the size of slice. Enormous. I'd never seen a slice like that. It's hanging over the paper plate. You're like, this is the biggest slice of pizza I've ever seen. The food court when you were a kid. Okay. So you remember Spencer's gifts? No. You don't remember Spencer's gifts? No. What's Spencer's gifts? It was like a weird, like kind of kitschy store where it would be like,

It would be like weird posters. It would be like there was a section where it was for couples, like edible underpants or love cuffs. It was a weird little shop. They were everywhere. I went in there one day and basically got high. I went in there just as a consumer. And this woman, I don't even remember how we got to talking, but she was like, you should work here. She hired me.

On the spot. On the spot. I filled out the application. She hired me. I came in the next day, started working. And we both very quickly were like, this is not for you. I just was like not into it. And when she told she was like telling me that when they throw stuff out, you can't have it because that's stealing. And I had a real issue with that. And by the end of the day, I had a big issue with that with catering.

Yeah. They still do that shit. I'm like, I'm walking around with a tray of these delicious finger foods. No one's eating them. I'm about to throw them out. Why is everyone looking at me like I'm a weirdo because I'm doing open mouth funneling? Well, Jake, I'm going to tell you why. Why? There's a difference between putting a few on a plate and making a case. I'm working. I'm not. And another acting like a catering wimpy. Without further ado. Biz, biz, biz.

Hi there. How's it going? Good. We hope you're doing well. You're on We're Here to Help with Jake Johnson, Gareth Reynolds. Can we ask your name, your age, and where you're calling from? Sure. This is George. I'm 30 and in Philadelphia.

George, 30, Philly. Okay. So George, why don't you tell us what the problem is and we'll do what we can. Sure. So my brother and his wife live about three hours from me and they recently replaced the pool that when they bought their house about a year ago, it came broken basically. Like as part of the sale, they were like, you're going to have to replace it. And,

So they just finally did that. They're very excited. And to celebrate, they're having a pool party. And they invited everybody. And it's been about like two weeks since the invitations went out. Now, the problem is that I'm also the following weekend going to be seeing both of them at my grandmother's birthday party, which obviously attendance and that is non-negotiable. And that's even further away.

So I have been kind of trying to mull over a way to RSVP no to the pool party without hurting their feelings. And also in a way that kind of covers up the fact that there is an element of laziness to this where I just kind of don't want to be driving all weekend for two weekends straight. And, you know, the pool is not going anywhere. So I can see it the next time I come up. Right. OK, so just to get this one straight.

Your who was it again that's having the pool party? My brother and his sister in law, who I'm pretty close with both of them. And how how long is the drive? It's about three hours to their place. Holy shit. Three hours each way to jump in a pool. Right. That's what I'm saying. First of all, George, I'm with you. I'm an instant. Fuck your pool. I'm not driving six hours to swim. The following weekend. How far is the drive to Grandma's B-Day?

About five hours. Each way? Yeah. First of all, George, good shout out to the type of family member you are. Yeah. If my grandma was 45 minutes away and she said, come to my 100th birthday, I'd be like, that's why I texted. Yeah.

I've never heard anyone go like, the best weekend ever was my grandma's 83rd. 10 hours of commuting for an old lady party? You're going to be your grandma's age by the time you're done with all that shit. Holy cow. Now, wait, let me ask one question very quickly. You said their pool was broken? Right. Some of the mechanics in it were in disrepair, so they had drained it, and it was just sitting there empty for the last year.

So the big thing is that they fix their pool. Yeah, pretty much. And they're like, Hey, it's summer. It's hot as hell out here. So I got a question, George. Do you like to swim? I do like to swim. I do like to swim. Although I am more, I, you know, I like the ocean. Okay. But would you, if it was close, if it was like a 30 minute drive, would you be like, yeah, I'm going swimming.

Oh, 30 minutes might still be pushing it a little bit for me to be that excited. Okay. So you're not like swimming's not like a big part of your life. Right. I like it, but I'm not like actively going out of my way to seek it. I guess. I'll tell you why. Cause you're 30.

A lot of people who really love pools and go out of their way to seek it are children. So if you're like nine, you go like, can we please go to a pool? When you're 30, you go like, there's a pool.

I went swimming last weekend for the first time. I was like, when was the last time I went? I mean, it had been like a decade and my life did not seem incomplete being. It was very bizarre. Swimming is a very weird thing as you age. Floating is a trippy thing to do in your 40s. Well, it also just take what I was swimming. I was like, I used this used to be my favorite thing in the world to do every day. Now, George, do you work during the week?

I do, yes. You do. So your weekends are kind of George time, and you're looking at losing, you know, two weekends. Two big weekends. If you go to see your grandma, are you doing an overnighter? Yeah, I think I'm probably going to be crashing at her place and coming back the next day.

Also, that makes the plot a little thicker. And what about your brothers? Are you going to be crashing there? What thickens the plot there? I don't know. Staying over at grandma's? You know what I mean? You're probably in a room with some dolls and old clothes. Could be a little strange. What is going to be the sleeping arrangement at grandma's? And what do you call grandma, by the way? Is it just grandma? Yeah, she's just grandma. Is it normal to sleep at grandma's?

Yeah, she normally hosts like Christmas and stuff. So there is space for people to have privacy. And your brother and his wife will be at grandma's? Correct. And this might actually thicken the plot as well. There is a pool at grandma's.

So I got to say the pool element doesn't seem to be like a big driving force, at least for me. I love I love I love that twist because it's not really a twist, but it feels like a twist. I mean, George, did you expect the reaction? Oh, all right. I did. Yeah. Respect. Respect. Then I apologize. We didn't give you the proper response. It kind of got me for a minute where I was like, that's interesting. And then I'm like, I don't.

think that is interesting actually would your brother be offended if you said because like I know my brother who's my best buddy if he said like hey man come drive three hours to my pool party I would answer immediately with a pass

Just in caps, no period, just P-A-S-S. Is the kind of relationship you have with your family, if your brother goes like, we finally got the pool going, Georgie, why don't you come for a swim? And you just wrote like, pass, I'm not 11. I don't want to, but I love it. Is that a laugh? Is that dramatic? Is that trouble? What kind of family are we talking about here?

Um, I don't think that he would mind. I think that he probably would get it. No problem. Cause he's, he's a bit of a homebody himself, so he's not really trying to get too unstuck, but, um, his, his wife loves to host. And so I think that she would probably be a little disappointed if, uh, especially because, you know, she, she and I are also pretty close. Like we get along well. Um, so they're always, you know, kind of eager for me to make the trip up, even though they understand that it is, uh,

All right. I think what I would do here, getting close to locking in my advice, I think the move is a little white lie. What do you do for work exactly, George? So I work in the marketing department for a university here in Philadelphia. So it is not out of the realm of possibility that something comes up later in the week that kind of bones your weekend, that on a Thursday kind of changes the plans completely.

that you could sort of say to them, hey, out of nowhere, my boss dropped this on me. I'm going to need to work most of Saturday and some of Sunday. I can't do this. That doesn't seem crazy to them, right? No, I don't think that that would be crazy. So you're saying that I should fake like I'm going to be going. Gareth is saying RSVP, yes, and then do a call and be like, what a drag this thing came up. I would have loved to drive six hours to swim.

I think you do the juke. I think it's juke time. I think that's, I think it's, again, this, the reason why I would employ this is because it's innocuous. I don't think there is much to it. It's the same outcome. Again, I'm not a big, like, let's just lie our way out of this, but this one feels like it's one that just buys you enough with so little. That would be my advice.

I think that seems pretty solid. It feels like it's not going to get you in trouble. You're going to avoid the big discussion. Like you could do the asshole thing and create a party where you invite everybody to your house to go in the bath.

Right. You know, like his same list, invite everyone in the family, be like, I would love you to drive three hours. I have a warm bath. We can all take this getting in it. And he'll go like, why would I want to do that? You go, don't worry, I'll put tons of chemicals on it to kill all the bacteria. We just fixed it. Yeah, I just fixed it. But drive all day and then just sit in this weird tub of water with chemicals. Well, I have a quick add on.

I would say when you see them at grandma's, give them a pool related gift. I think that's a way to just. Yeah, I think, you know, whatever you want it to be. Well, that's unfortunate that you ask that. But I would say like. It's so weird. Be like, hey, it's grandma's birthday. And your brother goes.

Why did you give me a gift? And you go like, it's rings that you can go to the bottom of the pool at. Goggles. Thanks for giving me flip flops. Here's what you do. You get Graham a gift and wrap a little bit of chlorine. You know, I don't know what just happened there, Gareth. I pushed it. You wanted to be sweet.

- What I wanna do, I want a karma squeegee. I wanna go, I'm undoing the fibro. - No, I think what happened is you knew you nailed the first part. - I pushed it. - But the first part is lying. - I got greedy. - And then you said, "Go to his grandmother's party and give him a pool related gift." You've just shown what a human weirdo you are. There you go. Here's a bathing suit. Thanks.

Here's suntan lotion. Hey, brother, here's a snorkel. Why did you give me a snorkel pack? Well, because I missed your pool party because of work. Sorry, the boss inundated me with files last weekend. Here's some flippers. George, 100%. We are going to stand behind the white lie. The last second cancellation. Give him a few days in advance. I'm canceled by like Tuesday of that week.

I go Wednesday, Thursday. Sell it. Yeah. Go Wednesday. Give them time to cancel in case your sister-in-law is doing like specific stuff for each person. I don't know how many people are going to be at the party, but if it's food related and how much they order, you know, give them a chance, but don't lose money on you.

And second, do not do the pool related gift. That is a real weird turn. I'm also getting rid of the pool related gift. What we like to end these with is that's kind of our best take on

What do you think you're going to do? I mean, I think that that does make a lot of sense. It does feel like even if they're like, oh, well, do the work here, like bring up, bring them up. I think that I would be able to, you know, kind of just be like, no, I don't think so. Yeah, totally.

The three-hour drive gets you out of that, and if they need to hear it, let them know you're swimming in work. Thank you, George. We're here to help. We'll be right back. Thanks, guys.

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Hi, my name is Sarah. Hey, Sarah. And where are you calling from, Sarah? I am calling from central Kansas. And have a lot of people told you you have a very pleasant voice in your life? Is that a reoccurring theme? You know what? Someone once told me that I would make a great like voiceover for a cartoon character. I believe that. Yeah, I believe that person is really smart. So I've got some sad news and then some personal very happy.

Okay, I'd love to hear it. The sad news is, is Gareth is doing a live show in Alaska. He couldn't make it, but it's truly not his fault. We pulled this off last minute. So he wishes he could be here.

But the personal good news is we've replaced him tonight with my older brother, my BFF, Mr. Dan Johnson. It's true, Sarah. I'm here for you. I'm here, Sarah. The man who when I first got on television, Sarah, as the character Nick Miller of New Girl, we were at a bar together in Chicago called Old Town. True story.

Dan stood up and yelled, I'm Chris Miller, Nick Miller's older brother, and I actually did go to law school in the 80s. That's a true story. I love it. I'm glad to have you on. And then later that night, and then we're going to get to you, they asked me to get up on stage at the great Second City to do an improv thing. And it was a friend of mine, I think it might have been Bungroff, who said...

uh it was wild man he goes you got up there your brother heckled you from the first moment until the end a true brother yeah so sarah you're in for a treat uh so you also got the shark of course hi so the floor is yours please please tell us what is going on and we will do our best to uh get you out of this situation

Well, thank you so much. So the situation is I have a sister who invites herself to all of our family's guy functions. So I'm talking Father's Day at the local cigar lounge. I'm talking going down to a bar downtown with my dad, husband and brother-in-laws. And understandably, it drives my husband crazy. Yes. Yes.

So Sarah, is it, so is it your sister? My sister. Yep. Goes with your husband. Yeah. For boys night. And it doesn't matter what the occasion is. She tags her. She just invites herself along and she shows up. And who are the, in terms of the boys night, who is it? It's your husband.

Yep. So it's my husband, my dad, and then my sister's husband, so my brother-in-law. And then I have another sister and another brother-in-law. So it's the four guys and then her. Understood. But it's not like you and me, Dan. It's not like...

It's not like your husband and his brother are like, I can't believe my wife's sister showed up. It's a husband, a brother-in-law, a brother-in-law, a father. So she's going to her husband's guy's night out. Yes. Yes. Wait. So your dad had three daughters. Yes, he did. So, oh, I get it now. So it's him with his three son-in-laws.

That's correct. Yeah. And he's going like, hey, look at this. I didn't have I got three guys were having cigars and then one of his daughters is there. Exactly. OK, so more than the husband, because the in-laws, the husbands, they don't matter. This is a father daughter. A hundred percent. What is that? What is what are we calling your sister?

Amber. Rachel. That's me and Dan. Let's just call her Rachel. I like that. Let's go with that. No, we can't. What are we calling her? You said Amber? Amber. Amber. So what does your dad feel about Amber crashing these?

So to be honest, he's not saying anything. He's never made a piece to me or anybody else. It's just my husband. He's like, why is she coming? Well, what is Amber's husband's fake name? So we're going to go with Chris. Chris. And what does Chris say to your husband about it? Yeah, that's right.

That's a good question. I guess I haven't explored that. It's very hard to get them away from each other. They're very close. They're very codependent.

Yes, they are. Like, they met in high school. They were 16 years old. High school sweetheart. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Amber. Dan is married to his high school sweetheart. Take it easy. I'm getting a little defensive, Sarah. You take it easy. There is nothing wrong with that. I mean, look, I just came from a guy's night out and of course Kelly was there and we were smoking a cigar. I just don't see what the problem is, Sarah. Right. Okay.

But so they're always together. They're always together. So it's very hard to talk with one without the other there. And how would you describe Amber in the group of sisters growing up? Was she in the middle of it? Was she the baby? Was she the baby? Was she the middle? Was she the oldest? Where's she at in the group? What's her vibe? Yeah. So she's the middle child and she, I'm,

I love my sister. I love my sister, but I would describe her as she's very stubborn. I'm very selfish. Whereas me and my youngest are more like-minded and that we're more people pleasing. Whereas she really, really doesn't care what people think. But we're all three very tight, all very close. Okay. So your husband is,

says at these guys night does amber ruin the vibe or is she just there she ruins the vibe absolutely she's she's loud she's a talker she speaks her mind um so yeah she makes her presence known for sure i've got a i've got my first pitch you're ready for a pitch i think so i love it

I think your husband needs to set up a, the next guy's night at a place like a men's spa where, Ooh,

The only way you walk in, it's like if you go to an old golf club where you're like, the locker room has a bar. You go like, I'm sorry, Amber. We would love to smoke cigars with you and talk wives. But in this specific place, it's unbelievable. It's guys only. There's a sign on the door. I love that.

I think go ahead, Dan. No, finish up, finish up. Well, I think there's something to that now. It's not going to be easy to get Chris on board with that. This is my point. This is my point. I think you're, you're shooting early and I'll tell you why. Well, I do want to add, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, no, there's more to learn.

Okay. So I do want to say, so like I said, I have a good relationship with her. I feel like I can come to her. I did talk to her this year, like approaching father's day. Cause that's one that she always tags along to. And I just said, I tried a couple of different things. I said, Hey, let's ask girls do something fun while the guys are getting together in which she responds. Oh,

Oh, no, I like cigars. I like drinks. So I want to be there, too. I don't want to miss out. I've offered to watch her kids. So she has the opportunity to go do something for herself. And she responds, oh, well, if you watch my kids, then I can just go be with the guys. That would be great. So then finally, I just said, and I'm passive and nice, so I said it through a text. Midwestern. I said, hey, um,

My husband doesn't appreciate it when you come to guys night. Um, set up and delivery was different. If you didn't come. I said this nice and passive cause I'm from the Midwest. I texted, Hey bitch, no one likes you. You're a piece of shit. I've always way bonded more with my youngest sister. Cause you're the C word. You literally ruined our family.

Bunny ears. I put Vaseline on my face. Yeah. I got to say, Sarah, that's so you said my, but by the way, Sarah, I think you made a big mistake. I think you made a big mistake. You blamed him. Yeah, that's tough. What was the reaction? What was the reaction?

So the reaction was, she said, I understand completely, exclamation point, smiley face. And then you know what happened? What? She went again? Neither of them came. So my brother-in-law didn't come. Yeah. So I was like, well, now I'm at a loss. I feel like I've tried different options. They haven't worked.

So that's where it's at right now. Right now, Chris and Amber no longer go to the guys' night. Does your dad and the two other guys, do they still do it? Or is it now like got a weird stink to it? They still do it, but they miss him. They would like for him to tag along, but they do still get together. Poor Chris. Yeah. I know. Poor Chris. Looking out the window. Do-de-doo.

I wonder what the guys are doing. Probably smoking a My Father. And do you think, Sarah, from your point of view, Chris wants to be back out there with the guys? I do. I will say that in general, no.

he doesn't have a closeness to our family as the other two brother-in-laws do i would say my younger sister's husband and my husband they they really truly are like family and that they gel so perfectly but i um i would say yeah they're they don't come near as much family functions as the others do um let me throw something out there let me throw something out there

this might be right. This might be wrong. I just got a gut feeling. This is, this is going to be a swing and a miss, but I love the ambition. I don't think so. I don't think so. It's all right. I think Chris, Chris is asking Amber to come. Yeah. I think he's saying, I don't feel close to these guys. Yeah. It's your family.

It's not my dad. It's your dad. I don't feel like these two other guys are like, Hey dad. Hey dad. And I'm like, you have a dad, you little bitches. Stop acting like you're part of their family. You guess what? You get divorced. You're out. He's like, they're weird. They're weird. They're acting like he's our daddy too. You're a grown man. Right. He's like, but I gotta go because they're nice. They're inviting me. Yeah. But come with him. I like you. Yeah. I,

So if you come, it's fun. You're fun. Yeah. I've liked you since I was 16. All I want is Amber. What I don't want is Amber's D-bag brother-in-law-in-law. And brother-in-law. And these Tweedledee and Tweedledum being like, yes, daddy. Yes, daddy. Can I get in the inheritance? Because guess what? The truth is, Chris and your husband, they're not brothers. Right.

They're not brothers-in-law. They're just two dudes. Nothing. Yes. They're nothing. Chris hates your husband, Andy.

By the way, Dan, let's rewind. This will be a swing and a miss to he hates your husband. Guess what? How fast the winds turn for old DJ. Yeah, guess what, Jake? You were ambitious, but that time you connected, that ball sailed out of the stadium. Thank you. Because you sniffed it out. It's all Amber's husband. Because that's what I'm thinking. Because I'll tell you what, and tell us if we're wrong, Sarah. We're not. But...

But Amber, when you say things like you could just, I'll babysit your kids and you can go do anything. Everybody in the world wants a night off. Yeah. But she's going, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to hang out with my dad, your husband, my other sister's husband and go smoke cigars because I love cigars so much because Chris has told her,

I don't know how to say no to these guys. I can't spend another Friday night with these goobers talking about the tile company. Help me. I can see it. You can? Yeah, I really can. Now that you're talking through. Is this true? Yeah, of course it is. I mean, I can't confirm, obviously, but as you're saying it, it's absolutely a possibility. And so maybe Amber's swallowing the grenade. So what you can do.

is on these guys nights, you can turn it into a family night and the guys can do their thing. But Chris is allowed to hang back with Amber and you. Like if you guys all go do something and then there's a part where your dad goes like, Hey, me and the guys are going to go watch me hit golf balls. Wait, his two sons. Wait a minute, Jake. What? Sarah's father is not Chris Elliott. Yeah.

All right. I'm sorry. Sam. Yeah. Chris Elliott's a very different league. I know I'm not an impression guy, but that was not Chris. No, no, no, no. Sarah, we're not anywhere near your dad.

My dad is like a teddy bear, like so friendly, so inviting, so welcoming, just a total sweetheart. So I don't know what character that plays after, but that's him. So his vibe, so does your dad like golf?

No. What do the guys do? Just smoke cigars in a hot, dark room? Usually drink or cigars. Yeah, those are kind of alcohol. Are you related to my family? Yeah. We might be. Because I got to tell you, I got to tell you honestly, if I'm Chris, I'm going, I can't do it. No. I can't sit in. I know my brother Dan can't do it either. He couldn't even hang out in a casino because of the smoke. It's repulsive.

I mean, look, it's repulsive. It's disgusting. Who wants that? I'm with you. I don't like it either. I got it. Here comes a truck. Let me put my face over the exhaust, and then we'll talk about football. It's stupid. It's just dumb. Kevin's a cigar man. There's a big humidor from Jake right behind me. I listen to every episode. I know that that was gifted to you. Yes, it was. It says the shark on it. Okay.

I love that. Sarah, we still got to help you though. Yeah, I do. Will you phrase, I mean, I know this is too late in the game to do it, but will you phrase your problem in a question just so we could see if there's a way out of this? Yeah. Yeah. And now that we've talked, I, I'm feeling a little less helpful, but my, my question. Okay.

Stomped out your hope, huh? Mission accomplished. You literally just said, after talking about it, I'm less hopeful on a fucking podcast called We're Here to Help. This is the epitome of a failed premise. Guess what? I think Gareth might be better at this than I am. You know what we're missing? Just some jokes. Just some jokes where we go, we didn't help at all, but they felt more positive. Yeah.

You guys have given me great insight that I did not have before. I feel like that is extremely helpful. Okay. All right. So phrase it in the question, if you don't mind. Yes. The original question was, and maybe we need to change this, but how can I get my brother-in-law to come to guys night without my sister tagging along? Right. But the new question would be,

I'm asking. The new question would be, why did I call in? How do I get off this call? Because you're making me hate things. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but this was a fail for me. No. Okay. So I have an idea. Okay. You tell Chris that,

the next guy's night that you're throwing Amber a surprise party for just the girls. Ooh.

I love that. Right. You say this. Oh, that's really good. And then it's all the girls and she's like, what is this? And we're like, yeah. And you're just fucking celebrating Amber. It's Am's night with a drink and the nails and all the stuff Am's loves. And she's like, what is this? And we go, you go, honestly, this is just because we like you and we want a night with you. Oh, I love that. And honestly, that fits so well with me and my sisters.

Like that would not be weird for us to do that. And then you could also say after that, the next one, you guys surprised me. So she's like, it's not just to get me away. You go like, we're trading a new thing where we're like passing on the surprise. So now Amber, or you say the next sister, now you're planning the next one, right?

What I like about this plan the most is that... You're going to shit on it and we are about to win. No, no, no. What I like about it is what should happen is you're forcing Chris to go to guys' nights he hates and he shouldn't because it's good for him. Yeah.

it's good he should grow up chris enjoy it you're all over the place he has been in our family way longer than anybody else because they've been together for like 16 years yeah so that's great suck it up chris he could find a fun night and hang out yes he can but really but then but really what we're doing is because you can't control chris sarah

But you can control your sister because you did it most of her life. Yep, it's true. As for her older sister, that is absolutely on point. Oh, I could tell.

And you have been puppeteering that little girl as much as you can. And now she's breaking free. So let's pull some goddamn strings. And the strings you're going to pull is the next one that your husband is figuring out with your dad and the guys. And he could be talking to Chris and the other guy about, we're going to surprise, you know, dad, and we're going to take dad to some cars and drinks and just do a night. And then he could say you, he doesn't say anything to Chris.

Then you guys reach out to her and say, we need you to come do this thing for us. Or you pull Amber in and it's a surprise for the other sister. So she's helping you throw the other sister to make it not all seem about Amber getting away from guys night. Okay. Right. So you got two paths. One could be Amber's helping you plan this.

And it's like, we're just going to do a night for her. Let's just have fun. We don't do this as sisters and mom enough. Is mom still around? Yeah. Yeah. We're all very close. And then say there. No. How about this? Go there doing a surprise for dad. So let's do a surprise for mom. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's kind of sweet. Right. Because if it's just about Amber, she might see through it, but be like, will you help us do this? Let's give mom a great night. Yeah. Yeah.

I love that plan. And you should do. You guys did it. Thanks for saying you guys, not my brother, Dan. What? By the way, while I was saying it, Sarah, my brother was just shaking his head, waiting to go. Nope. Yeah. Look, I'm a guest. So I'm supposed to be polite. Great idea, guys. Yeah.

So Sarah, what do you think you're going to do here? You think you're going to do that? Oh, absolutely. I love the idea of kind of putting it on the parents because then us as sisters can kind of gather together to plan it. And then the guys can gather together to plan something for my dad. Yes. I think that's really well. I think it will work really nicely. And then you just need to get Amber in on the planning so that, and never blame it on your husband. If about her not coming, um,

I think that's going to create just a shit zone for him. And then he and Chris have to deal with it. Then if she gets mad at him, it's just like, come on. Yeah. It's tricky. So now we rarely, we rarely do this, Sarah, but we're about to get off the phone, but simply because my brother Dan was on, could you do something and pretend you're texting it? So you're more honest.

Oh, sure. Could you give each of us a grade, one through ten, via text? Sure. You're a mean-spirited character. I'm the grandma from the other call. Yeah, you are. Now, Kevin, for example, keep in mind, he produced this. He got you on. This was a call about siblings. So I just want you to think of that. So go ahead. Your first one would maybe be Kevin out of ten. He did put this together. It did work out nicely. Go ahead.

10 out of 10. Wow. Great. Congrats. Now, how about me? What did you think? And you could be honest. 10 out of 10. I thank you so much. That means the world to me. And now how about Dan? Seven out of 10. Thank you so much for the call. We appreciate it. Thank you for the call, Sarah. Thank you, Sarah. Bye. All the best. Thanks for nothing. Thank you. Thanks, Sarah.

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Hello. Hello there. What's your name? How old are you and where are you calling from? My name is Aiden Stephenson and I'm 32 years old and I'm from Whitehorse, Yukon. Aiden, 32 you said? Yes. Where is Whitehorse, Yukon exactly? Jake and I know, but some of our listeners might not. We're right next to Alaska.

Okay. Okay, Aiden. You've piqued some interest, Aiden. Yeah, I think you're our first Alaskan, honestly. Well, I'm not Alaskan. I'm from the Yukon. I'm Canadian. Okay, let's plow through. And what matters is that we can edit that out. So go ahead. What can we help you with or try to help you with? Again, we do like to set a low bar, but we're rooting for you. So I'm getting married in a couple of months, and...

And my fiance has tasked me with choosing the location of our honeymoon. So she's quite a bit more traveled than I am. She lived in England. She lived in Paris. She lived in Australia, Costa Rica. She traveled all over the place. And I am not as experienced at traveling. And so I'm drawing a bit of a blank with where we should go. All right. Well, we got to learn a little bit more about you guys. So Aiden, you're from the Yukon born and bred.

No, I grew up just outside of Winnipeg. Okay. So you're a Canadian boy? Yes. Okay. And where'd you meet your lovely fiancee? I met her here in Whitehorse, Yukon at a bike shop. Bicycle or motorcycle? Bicycle. Okay. What's her name? Her name is Kate. Kate? Where's Kate from originally?

Kate is from the Yukon. Okay. A couple of you. Okay. So why does she travel so much then? What is Kate? What's her kind of energy? She's just a traveler or is this through work? She was a traveler and she was a red seal pastry chef. So she, uh, she became a pastry chef, kind of used that as her, uh, her ticket to, uh, explore the globe. Cool. Walk us through what that means. Red seal, Patri, uh, pastry chef.

So it's a recognized trade. So you've met the standards and you've completed the exams and the tests and it's a recognized skill set. So she is like a top pastry chef from the Yukon and because of her skill set, she's traveled the globe doing this? Exactly. So she's an amazing pastry chef. Aiden, you grabbed hold of a nice one here. Nice win. Yeah. Okay.

Don't I know it. This is a nice win for you, buddy. And so she said to you, I don't want to think about the honeymoon. You plan it and you go, well, I'm a guy from Winnipeg who lives in the Yukon. You want to do something around here? And she said, plan something great.

We've been to Winnipeg. It's not a honeymoon destination. We'll put it that way. Sure. No. Okay. My guess is you're feeling this pressure, obviously, because she's been a lot of places. Do you want to take her somewhere totally new? Is that kind of the goal? Seems like. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's fun to explore something together for the first time instead of, you know, one of you saying, well, you know, this is what you do when you're in this.

this place. Agreed. You don't, nobody wants to be driving the train because the beginning of a marriage is, and Gareth is not marriage. So I can explain this to him. You guys are embarking on this journey together and the honeymoon begins it. Yeah.

I expected a bigger reaction from Aiden on that one, but I'll just eat a little bit of shit on that one. It felt like for you, music was swelling. I thought so too. I thought Aiden and I were going to connect and run wild. Yeah, it felt like I was kind of shut out. I tried, yeah. Well, I tried to get an Aiden-Jake thing and it backfired. Yeah. It really...

By the way, Jaden would have been an unbelievable tag team name for you, too. But that's just kind of gone now. OK, Aiden. So I think what we need to do is obviously we're very interested in you, but this is kind of a Kate issue. So we need to kind of figure out what she would like. Now, are there any places she's been to that she said are amazing not to return, but just to sort of give us a profile?

So she really liked the English countryside and talks about going back there. It's where my mother lives. That can be helpful. Okay.

And she talks a lot about a trip she took to Sri Lanka. Jeez, you're giving us some real swinging spectrum stuff here. Okay. English countryside in Sri Lanka. It's like French fries and salad, right? Yeah, absolutely. Has she ever said to you any places that she's dying to go to? I mean, that seems like a pretty straightforward route. I've heard Portugal, America.

A number of times. Okay. Now, can I jump in for a second, Gareth, even though Ada and I have zero connection? Yeah, that really fizzles. I'm going to try to build it back up.

That'll be interesting to watch. So Aiden, we've heard a lot about Kate, but we haven't heard a lot about you. Oh, you kiss ass. Oh, look at Aiden and I getting flirty again. Stop. So Aiden, where are three dream? Like if you go to me, you, Jakey J, where do you want to go? I'm going to tell you right off the bat. I want to go to Japan. I want to go to Vietnam and I want to go to Kauai. Those are three places I have not been. I want to go. Aiden, do you have three places?

Mexico City. Fun. Thailand. Fun. Great.

and japan as well right okay aren't you guys just firing on all cylinders suddenly let's get rid of kate and let's go to japan my guy jake i'm gonna need you to remember what the show is and just kind of relax this like attempt for you and aided to kind of so we've got mexico city thailand japan from her we've got portugal english countryside and serlanka correct

Correct. Now I'm going to ask one more question and then the Garf man's going to take over. If you could kind of describe your, you and Kate's connection, what's the love story about, right? So like my love story with my wife, she's an artist. We connected on the arts. We connected on the idea of family together. We both connected. We love the Yosemite area, things like that. So that was an easy kind of build for us. What's kind of the build for you guys?

We connected over mountain biking, and then we found that we shared a lot of the same values. Yep. And, you know, we had similar political leanings and just kind of hit it off from there. So mountain biking out of those, because the values and the politics I think are wonderful, but they don't make for exciting honeymoons. But mountain biking could. Is the idea of having an adventure honeymoon you think would be cool for her? I think so.

I do too. Interesting. You think that's something she'd like to do? She'd like to go rather than, you know, relaxing by a beach or something like that. You think a little more active would kind of be the angle she would go for? Some action, some relaxing. We could do a little of both. A hundred percent. I'm doing a quick Google search. I'm going to go, I'm going to go how far

From Portugal to Mexico City. I'm just going to see. Do you think because she's mentioned, do you think she's mentioned, does she know that you know she wants to go to Portugal? Do you think she knows that? Yes, yes. We've talked about that. Do you think that would be a, would she enjoy the fact that she's going to a place that she's always wanted to go? Or do you think she'd be like, oh, Aiden, I thought you'd do something a little bit more creative.

I think she's hoping for some creativity and maybe a little more effort on my part. Okay, so Portugal's just too simple. Portugal's that low-hanging fruit that if I fail to come up with something, we'll do that. Hold on, but even if it was an entire tour of Portugal, and for two days you did mountain biking, two days you were on the beaches, and you really explored it, and you planned like a seven-day adventure

adventure trip based off a place you know she wants to go? You guys think that's low-hanging fruit? I didn't say that. That's your buddy Aiden who said that, Jake. Are you guys fighting? Are you off again? No. We're definitely on. Okay. I'm the Kate to his Aiden. Okay. Well, it's not. I think Kate's the Kate to... Okay, go ahead. So here's what I kind of feel about Portugal. What I was really hoping for in the three and threes is that you guys had one place together.

um, in terms of a dream place for both of you. But it feels like if you pick a place where, you know, she wants to go, it's the equivalent of going to a restaurant where, you know, you're going to like it. And I don't see for a honeymoon. What you don't want to do is you don't want to go to Mexico city and have her go like,

Well, this is okay. It's just way more crowded than I imagined and not exactly what I thought or go all the way to Japan. And she goes like, this is fun, but it doesn't feel like us. It feels more like you.

So I would consider if I were you, I would do port. I would do Portugal, but I would plan things around that. She doesn't have to think about it. And you plan a honeymoon of both of your shared interests that you do a couple of days on the beaches. You do one really romantic night there. You do a crazy mountain bike trip that takes you from like one place on the country to an entire other place. And you end in a way where it's just really about connecting and

And so the final night is you're in some really romantic bungalow where you guys get to talk about essentially your guys' values and what have connected you two. That's really fantastic advice. Thanks, man. And that's Jake's. And Aidan, I know you guys are firing again. I mean, things are happening betwixt the two of you. But I'm going to jump in with your non-Portugal options. I'm a citizen of the United Kingdom as well. England, it's okay. If you like England, you're going to love Scotland.

Now, it might not be your mountain biking trip, but I have a pitch for that after this. But Scotland is really a fantastic country. So if you think that the English countryside, that's like Scotland's going to leave the United Kingdom. It knows it's got it so great. Right. My other pitch, and this is like my favorite country I've been to, even though I've only been there briefly. And you can do you can mountain bike and there's a lot of options. And it's magic is New Zealand.

Ooh. Ooh is right. New Zealand is a great country. It's, I mean, having driven through it, not, again, there's so many options of things to do there. Mountain biking among them. And after a Google, it highly recommends New Zealand for mountain biking. It's beautiful. It's one of these places that definitely I would imagine, like, well, I'm not going to say it has like the Portugal feel because I wouldn't be able to tell you that.

has, it just does feel tropical. It's like a big Hawaii. It is. I mean, much like I'm saying the UK, England is like the shitty Scotland. Australia is like the shitty New Zealand. New Zealand is man. I mean, they shot Lord of the Rings there. So that would be my swing for the fences pitch. Before you answer Aiden, uh,

For anybody who was just offended by that, which I'm sure there's a lot of you, I want you guys to all know that was Gareth Reynolds' personal opinion. Yeah, but we sign off on everything that airs. Absolutely. And I believe it's at Gareth Reynolds or something like that. It's at Reynolds Gareth. I don't mind taking the heat. The Australians know who they are. I'm going to connect with Gareth for a second, and I'm going to agree about Australia. It would be great if it weren't for all the Australians.

Aiden, I just wanted to let you know, I know you were hanging out at the Chateau de Johnson for a little while, but let me tell you, the Gary B&B, the doors are wide open and we've got a bed ready for you. And I guess you guys all hate Australians who I like. Jake, quit pandering. You've been pandering to Aiden. It didn't work out. Now you're Australian. I will go to the Australians. So thirsty. So Aiden, you've gotten two different pieces of advice. I hate to say it, but I think the New Zealand thing is a hell of a play. I think that's a...

Fantastic idea. And so what do you, how we like to kind of end these is we can throw out our pitches, but from this, and obviously things will change. What do you think you're going to do? I think I'm leaning New Zealand at this point. Cool. That's great. I think there's both. I think, I think the romantic, you know, seven days plan it out. I think connecting at the end. I really liked your pitch, Jake, but Gary,

Gareth has made a fantastic play for New Zealand. I think so too. And I think honestly, the other thing about the New Zealand pitch, which is kind of nice is it's neither of yours. So that therefore it's your guys's together. Yeah. Nobody's heard New Zealand and been like,

No. Yeah, you're right. And I'll tell you what I like about it is exactly what Jake said. And the other thing that I like about it is that it's the pitch that bonded you and I together, Hayden. And really, after Jake was trying to get some heat going between you, the whole call, it just kind of didn't work. And you and I kind of connected in a really natural way. And it just kind of happened naturally, which I love. The other thing that I think has been great on this call is it's really bonded me with Australians.

Yeah, but they're not here. And again, it just feels so pandering. It's like after they they know what you just did to Aiden. So they're not going to fall for that. Well, I will say they're a shit here in New Zealand. They're not idiots, Jay. And I don't think they should be treated like such. It's also bonded me with the people, the beautiful people of the United Kingdom where I lived in Richmond. And I love them and I love them.

Jake, I mean, what you're just... So the English and the Australians, welcome to Team Jakey J. Yeah, but it's just... And that's not what this is about. Aiden, we really appreciate you calling. I think you got two great options. Seems like you got a really nice thing with Kate, and we wish you all the best, my man. Thank you for coming. Yeah, and please keep us posted as far as if you do make that trip happen, how it goes. And we would also love to hear if you do her reaction.

Absolutely. Well, thank you, fellas. It's been very helpful. Thank you so much. Thank you, Aiden. See you, bud. You're my buddy. You and I got that going. Take care, bud. Thank you.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt, and the associate producer and editor is A.J. McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio, and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

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