cover of episode 124: Schrocktoberfest

124: Schrocktoberfest

2024/10/21
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We're Here to Help

Chapters

Kat seeks advice on planning an unforgettable 50th birthday Schrocktoberfest for her boyfriend, Matt, with a focus on making it better than previous parties and leveraging the presence of psychologists.
  • Costume required for all attendees
  • Hire a 75+ year-old German band for an hour
  • Caterers in uniform to distribute food
  • Consider a 'German car bomb' as a unique party activity

Shownotes Transcript

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Ladies and you are a banger on a Monday, Monday morning. You know what I was just thinking about? What? The caller who...

What was he doing? He cut wood really fast. Yeah. And then, oh, yeah, the news. He was going to do the news thing. I think he did, didn't he? No, he was supposed to do the whole thing. Kind of. The reporter, I guess, had a stroke before about a couple of weeks before and he didn't want to be rude. He didn't want to seem like he was making fun of the reporter.

But which was nice. It was a sensitive move because it could seem like you're doing a move on a guy who's like, hey, man, I'm trying to do a story. And you don't. Here's so I'm my father had a stroke. So I am allowed to say things are good. Things are good. Dude, my dad had Parkinson's. You don't see me bragging about it. And cancer. And he passed away. By the way, my mother's had cancer, too. So don't think you're the only one.

All right, we're even, you bragger. Bragging about parental ailments. But as a guy whose father had a stroke, I'm allowed to say I think he could have plowed through. You think?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I don't think you're making fun of the reporter. I mean, I think you're right. It is the I think he just yes, but they're separate. They're separate moves. I would have loved it because it would have been so funny on that clip to hear him do the whole voice and really go for it. We really teed him up. We really and it was good. Like it worked. Yeah. I was like, man, you had a full meal in front of you. Yeah. And bailed. And and we're allowed to say that because Kevin's dad ate a lot.

What? Without further ado! Hello, can you hear us? Yes, hi. You scared the shit out of us. Where were you? Waiting. What were you doing? Are you okay? What's happening? I didn't...

Didn't know I had it on mute. Oh, you were muted. Thank God. Our last caller should have been muted when they. Yeah. Oh, God. I was scared. Kevin, will you start doing something rather than saying producer Kevin here? Will you just start saying the shark here? Hello, the shark here. Shark here or shark here. Yeah. Like when you jump in and do a thing of them where you go like. Yeah. Hey, shark here. This is. Yeah.

We were saying some of the emails now are like, hey, Shark. Oh, yeah. So many. All right. What is your name, please? Oh, someone gave me this, too. I mean, it's going to be hard to see, but a friend came and gave me a little baby shark for the top of my recording board. Is that on camera anywhere? Yep. I'll put a picture of it on cam, too. Sorry. Go ahead, caller. I interrupted four times. You know how sharks are. I got a toy and I had to interrupt the episode. Sharks can't stop moving or they die. What is your name? My name is Katz.

Cat. Hi, Cat. Where are you calling from? I'm in Massachusetts. Oh, beautiful. Where in Massachusetts? Like an hour northwest of Boston. My brother Tommy's out in Boston.

What are you talking about? My brother, Twami, lives there. Twami doesn't live there. Twami's over there in Southie out in Boston. Yeah, by the Dunkin'. Now you need the Jordan's Furniture out in Natick. No. Yeah. Twami? Yeah, how far do you think he's going? The fireman. Yeah, the fireman, yeah. Oh, I'm thinking about Danny. Yeah, no. Well, Danny's still out there in Southie. He was over there with me. Well, he can't move.

Poor guy. He got so big. Yeah, he got so big. Cat. They said they had to get a crane to get him out of his place. He's a real sad. He's in fat right here. His mother, his mother's a wonderful lady. I love his mother. His mother's like my mother.

All women are our mothers. Every woman I meet is a mother. Every woman is my mother. And every guy's my rival. I made it very uncomfortable with a few women because I said, you're my mother. Every woman I love is my mother. Every woman I hate is a whore. She's a whore. And every guy I meet is my friend. And my enemy. And my dad.

Kat, Massachusetts. What can we do for you? We don't even need you. I'm just 10 minutes from New Hampshire. I don't know what you have for New Hampshire voices. Hey, my friend Cody's over there. Hey, it sucks about the old man in the mountain. But it's a really nice cabin up here, isn't it? Beautiful. Don't look on Sundays. All right, Kat, Massachusetts near New Hampshire. What's the problem? Yes.

Okay. So I have a relatively new boyfriend and he's an October baby. Okay.

And his last name is Schrock. So he's of German descent. And so for the last years, he's been throwing a Schrocktoberfest for his birthday. You would do something like that. Don't, oh boy. That's a good, okay. Oh boy, good. Okay. I love it. I thought you were doing that. Schrocktober? Yeah, okay. That's great. Okay. A little close to Sharktober. Shark, when's your birthday? Five days ago.

I lost 20 pounds. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, my bad. We had a big thing about it. Okay. Whoops. And we're back. All right. So he literally gave me a gift. Okay. Today. I literally gave you a birthday gift today and forgot. Okay. When is your birthday? We gave a gift today.

So Kat, you got a boyfriend. His birthday's October. His last name is Schrock. He calls it Schrocktober. Yeah, Schrocktober. He throws a Schrocktoberfest the last few years for his birthday. It's a house party. It was, you know, German fair. Quick pause. David Walton. Well, I'm sorry, Kat, really fast. David Walton grew

great actor, comedian, funny guy. He was on New Girl, played the doctor guy. He and I were hanging out a little bit ago and there's this video going around. He showed me of an Oktoberfest where everybody's going crazy. What do you mean? It's

fizz fights guys dicks out people barfing like there's so much beer drinking uh uh random like dudes who are 20 blowing lines of coke right on a table uh is it in germany yes wow but the level of debauchery you go like he's like just keep watching all of a sudden it's like a random woman's lifting up her skirt sounding like i'm like

This is noon? Random guys almost drunk their dicks out. Somebody's giving them a handjob. Coke all over people's faces. I'm sorry, but it's very funny. That's great. All right, so keep going.

Yeah, so maybe don't pitch anything in that realm. We're trying to get him away from that, obviously. We don't want him jacking off a Coke on his Octoberfest. Maybe don't pitch anything as a perfect end to that. Nothing in that zone. Okay, so this year I've taken it upon myself to throw the Shocktoberfest at my house, but I'm

I'm feeling a lot of pressure to make it epic for three reasons. One is that it's his 50th, so it's a big milestone. And another is that I just need it to be better than the ones that he threw at Zach. And the third is that half the attendees are psychologists, which terrifies me. So...

Wondering how I can elevate the Shrocktoberfest so it's not just sticky beer floor and sausages. Interesting. Maybe leverage the shrinks at my disposal. I don't know. Did you hear what Jake was talking about earlier when he saw... I can get you the video. Yeah, we're talking about sweeps. I mean, we're really...

Could just be a fun direction to go in. But you're looking for something. What has he done at the other ones when you said his ex? Because that was a big buzzword for me because I love a little competition. Yeah. So he used to do this with his lady. What did they do in the past? What is the Schachtoberfest? How does he run it? They just do house parties with German beers and...

Um, you know, they buy like sausages and nothing really other, you know, but, but part of the, part of the video and Kevin, if you remind me, I'll ask Walton if we can get it. Great. Um, maybe we could put a clip of it online. It's insane. Uh,

Part of the fun and the first thing I'm going to pitch is uniform required. Yeah. Outfits. Later, Hosen. Later. It's like a Halloween party or a theme party where they say, do not come if you are not dressed up. Yeah.

What is our, what's our petty cash situation here? We have a little money to throw at this thing? You're talking about them providing it? Yeah. I think you could find a cheap, cheap lederhosen costumes online and you could get a few extras. But I will say this. Okay, yeah. Because I hear what you're saying, but that's if it's like a college one. Yeah. This is a man's 50th birthday.

So what you could say is you could give it early. You could send links on Amazon where you're like, these will do or pick your other ones. But there's like skirts and later and weird shorts and the weird hats because part of what's so funny about the video is how they're dressed. And that the guy's getting jerked off.

and we're cooking everywhere and then someone's throwing up while doing it was also what was funny is how funny how hard he was laughing while showing it yeah we're the person who loves the video so much the best for the best um but there could we could start with it's obviously german beer it's obviously the food but you've got to come you know dressed appropriate hearing that cat what are your thoughts

Yeah. So he has, uh, an outfit himself, the laden, whatever you call it. And the jaunty hat. Um, and,

That was it for outfits. So definitely could add a costume required. Yeah. And maybe we don't tell him about the costume being required. Oh, it's a surprise to him. I love that. I think that's really fun, but that's great. So he doesn't know. So that's a big surprise to him, but it's also what it's going to do is it's going to turn your party from a six to an eight. Yeah.

Everybody in funky outfits all of a sudden. We're looking for a 10, though. Sure, well, we're getting to a 10. Jesus, Kat, we're building. You can't get to a 10 right away unless guys are getting their dicks out and people are doing coke. No, but you think the video starts with that? No, it starts with them taking shots. Exactly. We're talking about the A-side, Kat. 45 seconds into the video, you see your first H-J.

Okay. Yeah, I think that's good. Keep that a secret. That'll be a fun reveal for him. Costume reveal is great. And music wise, what are you doing? Are you coming up with like a German playlist? Are you? How do you have a pitch on that? Go.

Find a group of German old musicians who play traditional music and hire them. I like it. At least for an hour. At least for an hour. Not the whole time, but I want 75 plus in uniform to have a microphone. And when he comes in, everybody's there. He comes late, so everybody's inside. He walks in. They're all there. And as soon as he walks in, the guy goes like, Willkommen zu Schachtabern!

And it starts. But you find a local... Yes, the real music. And then everybody has...

the beer and those big fucking- - Steins. - Yes. Somebody's walking around in the uniform, maybe get, it's his 50th birthday. So maybe get caterers, which Gareth and I have both done. - Yeah. - But they're in uniform. So you have a bunch of women in like the skirts and guys in the little lady houses, no shirts, why not? - Sure. - Walking around with little wieners.

What? The trays, dude. Okay. Chill out. You chill out. You think I'm selling a guy? Why would we hire somebody with small wieners? Shut up! Stop it. You started it. He's out of control. Come on. You want to do the video with me? Absolutely. But you could hire, because you're going to need food at this event. Turn it like a wedding. Have catering. They're in uniform.

Uh, the beers are on tap, not on tap, but whatever. Get a keg, get a couple of kegs of some very nice German beers. And you get all, you get somebody dressed up in the German outfit, being the one running the keg. Everybody's got an accent. The caters, if they're not, they just fake one. Yep.

A live band is great. I think live band's great. You also, I mean, you're going to have your various types of sausage. I have a crazy pitch. Please. Okay. As the day gets going a little further, why don't we do a brat beer?

Where it's like a... Why don't we call it... I know what you're saying. Why don't we call it a German car bomb? And what it is is we put a kielbasa or some sausage into a beer and you drink the beer and then you eat the sausage at the bottom. But that's a real thing. Is it? It's crazy. I feel like I've seen things where they drop a hot dog in a beer and then just... Wouldn't surprise me. Yes. I've never heard of that. But why don't we do that? We'll do that. Now, just to...

Stop the momentum for no reason. Great. Why?

Why what? Why stop a party, drop a bunch of hot dogs. Because we're getting drunk. We're making it as German as possible. That's fun. Because beer brats are a thing. Okay. So what is a beer brat? A beer brat is like a brat that's been marinated in beer. Yes. A hundred percent. So this is just a way of combining. Yeah. Yeah. And that, by the way, that's a lot of fun. Cause what you could also do then is all the brats get thrown in a beer. Yeah. They marinate, you chug it, take the brat out, grill them. Yeah. Great. Well, you probably don't want to drink that beer. Oh,

How come? I don't know. Raw sausage beer. Right. Yeah. I consult the physician. There's a zone here. There's a zone here. Either way, we're adding something like that. We could also do, I mean, okay, how are you feeling about this so far, Kat? How are you feeling about our direction from an 8%? I can answer four. She's fired up. She is fired up. I can hear it. She's so hot about it, we could put a broad on her right now and it'd be good. She's so hot about it, she could just be one of the random ladies in that video Walton sent me. No, no, no. So Kat, how are you feeling now? Oh,

So the live music thing sounds like a riot. Had you thought of that route? Would you consider going old and traditional? Yes. Yeah. So long as it's capped at an hour for sure. Agreed. Yeah, that's great. I don't think you want that too much longer. No. Capped at an hour. No. Okay. Keep going. Sounds amazing. Costumes, anything with costumes sounds like a hoot. And do you like the reveal of it that he doesn't know about it?

Yeah, that's ideal for sure. I want to make it a surprise. Whatever we do would be great. Great. And then the German car bomb. I mean, if it's like, I think the only reason I would do it is knowing that you guys coined this thing, but I don't want a frat party situation. Well, we're beer to help. Yeah. Yeah.

You are. Hang in. Hang in there with me. It's going to get worse. It always does. I would argue also, let's hide the fact that we've hired a band from him too. I think if you're talking about how do we step it up, I think the more that you are doing these little chestnuts for him throughout the day, the better. I totally agree. What do you think about the caterers?

So I did already ask him about the caterers and he said he wants to grill. So he wants to. That's fine. Oh, wait. But not for everything. The boyfriend wants to grill. Yes. Yeah. At his own party? Some guys are, you know, like that. All right. Okay, so he's grilling up. Then would you consider...

Seeing if you can hire two people, one man and one woman in full uniform to distribute all the food he's grilling. That's good. Just to get a little bit of that theme part. You see the look. So if you're standing there, you feel goofy. There's some...

25 year old who's excited to be there. Who's making good money going like, yeah, I'm just walking. I'm just walking around making sure everybody's drinking. They could have a tray of beer. They just walk around, offer beer and hot dogs. So you go like, and then recommend to everybody, please take a Lyft or an Uber. Uh, uh, we highly recommend, but like, let's allow yourself. If you're going to, if you're a drinker, this is a night to drink. If not have some fun and watch everybody act like clowns. Yep.

I think that's good. As far as the stuff he's going to be grilling, is he on top of that? He's picking all that out? Yeah, I mean, maybe not everything, but it's a 25 person party, so it's not like 100 people. That's perfect. Are you going to do all this? Hell yeah. When's the party? Every single one. October 5th. Will you send us a... October 5th is my brother's birthday. Will you send us...

to get drunk with him. Maybe. Would you send us photos of the party? Yep. Some video. Absolutely. This sounds like a lot of fun. I think this is going to be a great 50th and you're definitely going to beat the X. Has he ever listened to this show?

He does. He's the only one in my crew who listens to you guys with me, so it's going to be hard not to tell him. Do we want to give him a quick birthday shout-out for the 50th, just to help a little bit? What's his name? Absolutely, Matt. Matt. Okay, Matt Schrock. You guys can tell him what you did for your 50th. Yes, that's the one. Shark. Shark.

Happy birthday to you, Matt. Happy birthday to you, Shrek. Happy birthday, dear Matt. Kind of nice. It's straight German. It's lovely. Happy birthday to you.

Boy, Matt, we're so happy for you. You're 50. We got a great sound over here. I know this is about you, Matt, but... Come on. Can the three of us sing together? Tell me that the dogs in the neighborhood didn't just howl to the moon. You're 50 years old. You're a lucky man. We hope you have a great birthday. And don't forget to try a German car bomb. And again, thank you for sometimes listening to our show, even though most people in your friend group have avoided it. It's not about us. Happy birthday, buddy boy. Bye, buddy.

Thank you so much. Thanks, Kat.

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Hello. Hi. Hi. Welcome to the show. We're here to help America's number one podcast. Jake Johnson's taking a quick pee. So this is new territory. No problem. But we'll start. What's your name? What's your age? Where are you calling from? I'll just update him when he's back. Okay. My name is Maya. I'm 40 and I live in Massachusetts. And what do you do for work, Maya? I work in public health. Public health. Okay. That's exciting. Is your call related to public health?

Um, it's related to something about my gym. So I guess it's in the greater realm of health. And are you born and raised in Mass? Where's that accent? Um, yeah, I am from Massachusetts. I don't have a Boston accent. My parents do. I can, I can break it out from time to time. Okay. Well, why don't we, when Jake's about to sit down, I'll update him on who you are and what's going on, but why don't we just hear this Boston accent that eludes you? Uh, let's hear it.

Well, you got to give me something to say. Why don't you say, boy, the other night when I walked too far, I hit my head. Boy, the other night I walked too far and I hit my head. Not bad. Jake, this is Maya. She's 40. She's from Massachusetts. She works in public health. And we're about to hear a gym related question. Okay. All right, Maya, let's party.

Okay. So this past year I joined a new gym. It's kind of like a CrossFit or like a boot camp. The town I live in is pretty small. So it's really like one of only three gyms that are like a reasonable driving distance to my house. I don't really have a lot of options. Like I don't really have a problem with the workouts themselves. Like I actually really like them. Like I said, it's close to my house. Everything seems great.

Yeah, so far so good. Everything seems pretty fine. I'm not hearing a Boston accent. I know. Is that part of the issue? I'm sorry to disappoint. That's okay. Okay. Okay. As my brother Tommy has one for sure. I'll tell you what. That's pretty good. My brother Tommy, he was a fireman. My brother Bobby was one. He was a cop down in Southie. But we were all together back in, this must have been 84, 85.

We used to go for roast beefs down at Kelly's near the boardwalk. Oh, the boardwalk. Had the best roast beef in the town. All right, so, Mario, what's your issue here? I'm about to make a lie. I hit my head. No one makes me laugh like Dennis Leary. That guy. What is that kid up to? He's one of us. Yeah, absolutely. He actually talks about this city in a way that makes sense to me. He's an asshole. Like us.

All right. Feel free to steamroll, Maya. Kevin. Okay. Kevin, very much in the parental role today. I like it. It's good. I like it. Okay. I'll go right to it. I'll go right to it. Okay. So the culture at the gym is just really intense. It's kind of culty. It's CrossFit. It kind of has that gym fam vibe. Like, everybody wears their merch. They're very aggressive about, like,

Selling their merch, selling all those protein powder things. Trainers are like in your face all the time. Like all this stuff, that's if I can handle, but like the stuff that's really getting to me is like very aggressive and constant high-fiving. So it's like a 45 minute workout.

You have to do a big high five at the start of the workout. After every exercise, they tell you to do a high five. At the end, you have to do a high five. Sometimes they tell you to do two high fives. More like cross five, right? Keep going. It's just like...

30 high fives by the end of like the 45 minute class. Oh yeah. It's 150. Way too many high fives. Yeah. I don't think it's right. I don't know. I tried to count it up. So what is the specific question, Maya? So, um,

When I try to like do something alternative to a high five, like they're like, good job or like a fist bump or something like that. People just give me weird looks. I really like the gym. I want to stay at the gym, but I just like really not into the high five. So I wonder if you like have any ideas about how I could, you know,

you know, stay at the gym and avoid the high fives or do something else. Well, first of all, you joined CrossFit, which you kind of CrossFit like she said, it's that mixed with a bootcamp. Yeah, but it's not CrossFit, but it's still like, it's one of the, it's, I know the vibe you're talking. I've lost a friend to CrossFit recently. I lost a friend to jujitsu. Um,

which is pretty hard. I'm going to lose a friend after you keep talking about it. He sort of became, he started to be kind of a weirdo about his old gym culture. You know, I couldn't have a regular conversation with him. Actually, the other night, the other night he sent me a picture of, of a dummy that he bought that I guess he trains with at home. It's insane. It looked like it was made from a Knight's armor. Anyway, you want to hear the truth? I hurt my back training with it.

Which my wife said, I can't believe the dummy won. And I said, I didn't this time. But I honestly got hurt. But I honestly got hurt. And I don't know how it happened. For the YouTube, can we throw up a picture of what we're talking? It is, I can't believe that thing beat you. I'm not surprised because I asked him to bring it into the studio and he goes, it's too heavy to carry in. What happened is when you start doing jiu-jitsu, you need to stretch your body and train and work.

One time somebody said to me Hurt your back You better stretch I go wide And they said Old things break But then when you stretch You hurt your back So for you It's like what do you do You gotta stretch Before you stretch I don't know You're not wrong Yeah I actually don't know Cause my solution Your journey's Phenomenal to watch From the outside It's filled with a lot of Bumps but what's gonna be Really glorious It's all bumps Is when I hold up That fucking What is your belt right now

White with a stripe. White with a stripe. Okay. Okay. Anyway, Maya, it's not about what's going on in Jake's world, which doesn't sound great. Your question is, is how can we get that Boston accent sailing? No, no, no. Eliminate the high five. Easy. I think you drifted there. You wear a mask to the gym, and when somebody goes to high five you say, I'm getting over a sickness. I like that. Well, I... Go ahead, Maya. You said well. Yeah.

What didn't you like there? I mean, it's a little intense to wear a mask. Okay, so just they go to you and you go like this. I'm getting over a sickness. Okay. I like that. Here's two others. Okay.

let's just go all in on bowing. You bow. Every time there's a high five in your face, you bow. You do a respectful bow. You do a fist in hand. Or you weird out. You use the bow to do, like, go to give me a high five after a workout. You do like a Mortal Kombat thing. Yes, and then go like this. Yeah. I...

And that's like a weird, you like make a punch move where they just have to look at you and then you go like make direct eye contact and go like, have a good day. Yeah. About a little move is an acknowledgement, but it's not going to be a high five. Now let's say you can't get out of the high five easily.

How about you bring like climber's chalk in a little pouch on your side and you over chalk those hands. So anytime someone wants a high five and you give it to them, it's like LeBron pregame. Or with that in mind, there's another thing you could do is you could carry a little thing of Vaseline and right before they give you a high five, put it on your hand where they go like, the fuck is on Maya's hand? Or talk about you behind your back as like the lady with like really greasy hands. How about this? I like that too. How about this? Let's put a fake backpack

bandage on your right hand like you've just had an injury and

It might make working out hard. Well, but it's fake. Oh, that's it. So it's like a glove. Just, yeah, something where you just, if someone puts it, you kind of point to a glove. I can't, but, and then you could even do your bow. Here's another move. I think the bow is a really good move, but here's another move. And Gareth just did it right before I said it. Right before somebody gives you a high five, cough or like pretend like you blew your nose in your hand. So you just do like a pretend we just finished and you're going to give me like a, no, like you're the person giving me a high five. Hey!

What's up, man? I don't love that. But people will still high five you then. People will be pot committed, though. I tried to eliminate the handshake. You did? Yes. Oh, COVID, you got scared. Well, I just was like, great, let's get rid of it. So how'd you do it? So I went with a bit of a bow. You Howie Mandel'd. I fist bumped. I elbowed. Nobody else came on board. And everyone stuck in there with the high five, the handshake, the whatever. It's weird not to.

I don't, I don't like, I didn't, I've never liked it. Yeah. Just weird to me to just be like, Hey, cool. Yeah. Just be like, Hey, hi, I'm here. We're connected. Intimacy issues. So Maya, we've given you a lot of judgment options. What do you think you're going to do? And can you answer it with a Boston accent? Has anything tickled you? Fancy.

I like the hand bandage. I think if I'm like, I don't want to get a reputation of being like the gross person and like coughing and sneezing all over the place. I respect that. I respect that. Where it's going to get around. Sure. But you know, I can, I can pull out a bow. I can try a bow. Okay. So you're going to, you're going to bandage it with a side of bandage or the bow, or are you going to bow it with a side of bandage?

What's your main course here? I think a bandage. I can definitely do the bandage for a while, but then like I can't have like a years long hand wound. Maybe I can. Maybe it's a persistent thing. I don't know. Well, first of all, you probably could. Yeah, but also you just have to deal with the moment with the bow, Maya, and you can't back down. If they put the five and you bow and they leave the hand, you don't reciprocate. And also you're going to, if someone sees that you bow two to three times,

That's your thing. That's your thing. Guess what? If it's small. Howie Mandel does the weird punch thing that Garrett tried to copy. Howie still does it. You want to know why Garrett does it? He didn't commit. Yeah. I'm not as famous. Be Howie, not Garrett. Yeah. Be Bowie. Bowie Mandel. Bowie Handel. Does that make sense? Whatever you do, you got to commit. Okay. Just lean into it. Bowie Handswell.

I'll stop. We had it somewhere. And there's one in there that works. Does that make sense? It makes sense. What do you think? I feel like, I feel like we're leaving. You're like, no, I think I, I think I'm very interested in the hand bandage and I think I could do something like a bow and I would just see my thing and people would be like, okay. Yes, they will. They will. Yeah. You're paranoid because you're making a change, but I think people will be like, whatever. She bows. Yeah. Cool.

Yeah. Okay. I'll just be like the weird member of the gym family. Well, everybody needs a weird member of the family. And I think, I don't think it's as bad as you think it is. And then Maya, in your thickest Boston accent, could you say we're here to help with Jake and Gareth?

We are here to help with Jake and Garrett. Excellent. Thank you, Maya. That was terrible. All right, Maya. That's good. Keep us posted. I do think you went to international school, though. Yeah, you definitely know Jake probably from some school in Europe somewhere. We traveled internationally. We had kids from Scotland, South Africa, New York, Boston. So it's all together, but mostly you're Boston. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. We need to do a vocal ancestor. My parents are from Pied Pops. Ah,

They're from Hyde Park. Hyde Park. That's over there by the church, yeah? Yeah. All right. Well, we'll see you later, Maya. Keep us posted, Maya. Let us know how it goes. Okay. Thank you so much. Bye.

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Don't wait. Go now to get 20% off at shopdoer.com slash gilson. Hello. Hi, welcome back to the show. Can you remind us who you are, what your problem was, what our suggestion was, and what'd you do about it?

Sure. My name is Kat, and I called in about elevating the Shocktoberfest for a 50th birthday. All right. Oh, this is what... Jake, I was just talking about... Remember you showed the video? Yes, yes. I was just telling someone that the other day. I'm like, it's shocking. It's a shocking video. Okay, so you called in because you...

Your significant other had wanted to do an Oktoberfest and we gave you a bunch of pitches on how to make it an awesome Oktoberfest, correct? Yes, exactly. So, Kat, what did we pitch? Do you remember?

Yeah, so the first one was Costumes Acquired. And another one was Servers in Costumes. And another one was Minimum 75-Year-Old Oompa Band. I like that one. And then there was another one about some kind of German version of a car bomb.

And that's the only one we didn't do, but it did all other three. No way. Okay, great. Now, okay, keep going. Well, it just really helped to make it a wonderful event. So I do want to thank you. Ring the bell. So this is, Kath, this is a big win. So you guys had a great, he had a great 50th. Now wait, but Jake, look, we got two calls on here. So I'm thinking...

Do we have the fiance or the significant other on to corroborate the success? He actually is on. There we go. What's his name? I'm here. Hello, sir. Hello. Happy birthday. My name's Matt. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, Matt, walk us through the party from your point of view. Yeah. How did it go down?

So so the the interesting thing here is I'm a big fan of the show like actually Introduced the show to me and I've been Binging it from the beginning and like catching up to where we are. Appreciate you and Have a lot of a lot of in common with the boat the two of you which is amazing huge huge Packers fan Cat owner Packers. Yeah, we both have cats

Also a huge Chicago grew up in the Midwest and a huge, huge Chicago and Cubs fan. But so I've been, I've been listening to the podcast. And so she, she, I was not participating very well in terms of like planning the party. Yeah. And yeah,

She called me one day and was like, so I have to ask you a question. Would you be interested in like this being a costume party? And I was like, well, what? Yeah, that sounds great. But like, what's the, so she, she divulged that she called in. Okay. That's fair. To the podcast, which actually made it like way more exciting for me. It was like, it bumped it up a notch. And I was like, Holy shit. Like no way. They took your call and you like had a conversation and they pitched stuff to you. And she's like, yeah.

And I was like, what did they pitch? And she's like, Nope, you're going to have to wait on all of that. Love that. Love the power from cat. Yeah, that's great. So, so all I knew, all I knew was the costumes because she was, I think kind of wanting to make sure like, cause a lot of my friends were coming and she was like, is it okay if I, you know, say like there's a required thing. I was like, sure, this would be fun. So that's all I knew. And then, um,

I knew, so I knew there was going to be this event. I didn't know what you guys pitched. I didn't know the other things were going on. And there's, um, the only other thing that I knew about was there's this, uh, I don't know how familiar you guys are with the Boston area, but there's this place in Boston that's, um, called, um,

Carl's Sausage and European Emporium. I went to school in Boston and I've never heard of this place. It's not surprising. It's up in Peabody. It's not very well known. I stumbled across it when I was doing a

other previous version of this. And so I knew I was going to go up there and get some food and stuff. And so this kind of upped the ante. So we got a bunch of stuff from there and like, but then I showed up and there was this like insane space. Like she had like these key lights and this whole outdoor space. And there was this bar and like,

I was like, oh, this is incredible. This is beautiful. This is amazing. And then like, we're getting ready and this car pulls up and these two people in costumes get out. And I'm like, I don't know who these people are. Like, who are they? She's like, oh, that's the bartender and the server. And I'm like, what? That's great. And so they set up behind the bar and they start doing stuff and helping out. And then the people start showing up and everybody's getting out in costumes and it's hilarious and fun. Everybody like really dove into it.

And then all of a sudden this other guy gets out and he's like this older dude with an accordion. All right. So we're going to watch some video of something here. Let's see what's going on here. Oh shit. This is legit. So this turned into a great party. Oh, it was incredible. A huge party.

A huge success. We're definitely ringing the bell. Let me ask you a couple questions. You guys think we should ring the bell correctly? Come on, Gareth. Stop pandering. I like to hear it from them. And just because Jake showed me a documentary about the real German Oktoberfest, did anyone do powdered drugs or take their wiener out? We're completely different. Okay. The sausages were on the grill.

To be fair, Kat's daughter claims that two of the participants disappeared into Kat's place is kind of like out in the boonies a little bit. And her daughter claims that two people disappeared for a little while in their outfits and came back very disheveled. Yeah, he got laid. We had a little drama.

Well, that sounds great. It sounds perfect. Listen, this is why we love the show for followups like this. So, uh, Matt cat, um, really happy. This worked out big win for us. Obviously it's all about our ego and we feel good about this, but also that, and I don't know, I don't know. You've probably heard the first, have we aired the first one yet? Kevin? No, we're doing this as one episode. Oh, perfect. Uh,

Yeah, I haven't heard anything yet. So she really wanted to throw you a great party, which you'll hear, and it was a really sweet call. It really meant a lot to her to kind of really up it on your party, and it sounds like she knocked it out of the park. So, Kat, you ring a bell, we ring a bell, and Matt, you just had a fun party. And Kat, show Matt the video that we had on the show just so he can see what next year is going to be like. Well, I didn't put it on the show.

Michelle? I would say we would text it to you or email it to you, but we could get arrested. So we're not going to do that. You'll just have to have a Google around. We're not doing that. All right, guys. We appreciate the call. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. Bye, guys. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeown. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com.

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.