122: My Best Idea This Decade with Jimmy Kimmel
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And we are...

We got a great one. We really do. This is a guy you and I both love. It's so funny how we got to know him. The guest we have is Jimmy Kimmel. Just the best. Just the best. Do you remember when we shot that...

that little pilot for Comedy Central. Yes. And Jimmy was already so busy and he emailed us both. Yes. Individually, like great. And I was like, wow, what a guy. And then I ended up going over to his place and watching football at his house for a couple of seasons.

And just the truly hardest working dude. Also my favorite, best host in the game. He really is. It's like, I think it's the best show. I'm like, he's just great. He's just so funny. He's gotten so much funnier. And, um, and we were so thankful to have him and he was great on the show. He gave great advice. Yeah. Um,

he laughed at our advice at times, but you know what, to be honest, he had every right to didn't laugh with laughing at, laughing at, but, uh, and he did the thing that a lot of people have done where at the end they go, that's it. That's this thing. And we went, thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate you. Um, but he was great. And, uh, yeah, lucky to have him. So, uh,

And then I think we have a follow-up, too. So we've got to have a show. Let's get to it. Let's get to it. You know what I like to say? God damn fine. Without further ado.

Hi. Hi there. Welcome to We're Here to Help. Listen, we're going to get right into it. You have Jake, who you know from Hollywood. You have me, the periphery. But we also have a fantastic guest. We're very excited for our guest helper today to have Jimmy Kimmel. Thank you, guys. Welcome, Jimmy. Thank you.

Yeah, see, that's the reaction we don't get. That is the reaction we don't get. Yeah, that's the right reaction. Oh, my God. Wait, did you say Brian the security guard from New Girl? I'm kidding. Jeez, you're too kind. Can we get your name, where you're calling from, and rough age, and then we'll get into it. And yes, Jimmy Kimmel and Brian the security guard from New Girl. I'm excited to help. I just want to, you know, all I want to do is help.

Yeah, you've often said it's a passion. Yeah, I like to be a helper. Yeah, that's great. So what's your name? My name is Becca. I am from Chicago and I am 37.

Becca from Chicago 30 what can we do for you today? yeah take care we really solved that one good work Jimmy okay so my problem my dad is he's in his late 50s he's super sentimental about his stuff from his past like trophies letterman jackets you know

stuff in boxes in the attic in the garage. Him and my mom are remodeling their house and purging a lot of the old stuff. And among these items just recently were my dad's high school baseball shorts. As you can imagine, these are from the 80s. They're very short. And I will add that they still fit him.

I'm not seeing a problem anywhere near this call. Yeah. What's the issue? You can't get another pair. Yeah. Jake, I thought you might say that actually. I'm loving this setup, but I thought it was going to be, he gave you his trophies and I was going to say, he just put them in a room. You got his fucking short shorts. This is wonderful. He actually did tell my mom, this is kind of an aside, but he actually did tell my mom, you know, I'm really shocked that Becca didn't take them.

so i know he's gonna have a really hard time parting with a lot of this stuff but like i said they're remodeling and whatever so i'm wondering if you guys can help me come up with a meaningful send-off we can do for some of this stuff uh the booty shorts included uh and some of his old trophies obviously like he was an athlete his whole life yeah so he's got a ton of them laying around

So let me ask you a quick question on those shorts, Becca. We're seeing them. Would they fit on your body? They would fit on my body. Okay, good. Okay, because there's a way I can get those shorts from dad to daughter. Okay. But it's not throw them out. You know, I feel like I can be very helpful in this situation because I'm almost the same age as your dad, and I have the same affliction where I like to keep all the stuff and

I've, you know, I know logically that there's, there, there's no future home for it. I think when you have a TV show, the best case scenario is some auction house sends out an email and some dickhead buys all your stuff, his friends as a joke, you know? But I did do something because I had create, my mom would save everything and she still saves everything.

And I had crates of like all my homework from when I was a little boy. And I, you know, just all these drawings that I did when I was a kid. And you don't want to throw them out. You know, I mean, I guess some people would throw them out and that's probably the reasonable thing to do. But I'm comfortable throwing away kid art, Jimmy, go on. But your own, would you throw? Yes, mine and my children's art. When there's a pile of it, I'm like.

What I do is I go through my kids' art and I decide which pieces are good and which are not. That's a good way to do it. This is trash. We can all admit it. That's a good way to do it. This one has a little bit of talent to it. He went way off. So I'm only supposed to keep the first place trophies then is what you're saying. That's right. That's right. I scanned everything as far as the print items go. I scanned everything and that made me feel okay about, in fact, not just okay about

good about throwing the rest of the stuff in the garbage pail because I know that I have it just in case I want to look at it or I need it for a comedy bit or something like that. So I think photographing everything, and I'll give you another great tip. That's interesting. I like that. This might be the best idea I've had this decade, okay? You know when you go on a real estate website

And they have that 3D tour of the house where you can walk around the house? Oh, yeah. I did that at my Aunt Chippy's house. It's called like Matterport or something. It costs like $250. Okay.

And you don't have to be selling the house to do this. You can walk around with the camera. Wait, Jimmy, did you just do it because you have an emotional connection to the house and wanted to see it? Or was she selling it? No, she wasn't selling it. I did it because I knew we would want to remember what it looks like when she is alive. She's 85 years old.

and i knew my cousins would be attached to it so for christmas this year i had this video i had this 3d video made and they could put on the goggles and it's like walking around the house that's awesome oh if i had that for my childhood oh you imagine if you had that for your childhood house i'm gonna do it that would be at the show i'm gonna do it before i retire from the show i'm gonna do it in every house i ever live that's

That's really amazing. So that's pretty good advice. So that's actually really good advice. I also like that Jimmy labels his advice good advice. I think that's good on itself. Oh, yeah. I like that, too. Sometimes when I come up with an idea, I'll say to my wife, I'll go, great idea, Jim, as like a suggested response.

Someone's got to say it. A line reading. Yeah, that's great. It was a great dinner you cooked, Jake. Yeah. What do you think of that, Becca? Is it too late? No, not at all. I have to kind of see what he still has. Obviously, the booty shots are going to be a tough one for him to get rid of.

Just put everything out and then have like a little dad museum, mom and dad museum and make a video and everything will be in it. And you'll have it forever. I really like this. Is that something I pay someone to do? Yeah, it's not expensive. Okay.

It's really not paying. It's like two or 300 bucks or something to have it done. And real estate agents all know how to do it. A little dad VR. Yeah. It's like dad VR. And you can put your parents in each room. They could be, he could be wearing the shorts in the bedroom. You can be wearing the shorts in every room. Let's be honest. You know, holding a trophy in one. Yeah.

You could walk in on them making love. Is it crazy for us to pitch that your parents are mid-coitus when this is happening in every room? Just so you remember the good times. That's crazy. Remember where you came from. That is crazy. Yeah, for me, I think it's honor them is what we're suggesting. That's VR for them. They can't go to VR tapes. I will not be. Let me go to you for a second on this. Why?

Why do you want to get rid of all dad stuff? Did he ask you for this? Are you just sick of dad having all this stuff? I don't want to get rid of it. I, so I don't live with them. So it's not really my, it's not really like taking any of my own space. I think they're downsizing because I'm the oldest of three and all of us are out of the house. So they're like in the middle of this remodel and they're just like going through everything.

Like the non-important buckets, you know, like my baby blankets and all of our old toys and stuff. So my dad's like trophy buckets and stuff like that are some of the stuff that I think they're, I mean, he has so many. I sent a couple of pictures to KKMD.

to Kevin. He has buckets of clothes and toys and baseball stuff. Well, the trophies don't look like they make him happy or anything, so... You've never seen anyone happier in their whole life. No, it doesn't look like it's hand Prozac or anything. I think he's fine without this stuff. Yeah, no, he clearly likes to win. He clearly likes to win, but every now and then... Your dad's a winner. He is such a winner. Becca, you know what I would consider doing? I would consider lying.

and saying it would mean a lot to you if you could have all your dad's trophies and how much seeing him win has meant to you now that you're a 30 year old woman entering the world you want to be reminded of how powerful and what a winner your father is this is a good idea jake you put all those in a box uh

fucking put it on a boat and set it on fire or do whatever you want with it. But Jake, but hold on. How much of this pitch was figured out before you started talking to me? I would say 2%. Just hope that you never see him again. Yeah, honestly. You'll bite your funeral, your dad's throat. No, but here's what I would say that is real. Is,

the lie of saying I would love all the stuff and get a couple of boxes of it maybe with your siblings and get mom involved in this you pitch in for a yearly storage thing but just begin the disconnect from dad and his stuff and then maybe in three years you can revisit and you can go

You want me just to throw this junk out as just a bunch of softball trophies and some weird old shorts, man. Let's move on, right, Dad? And maybe in five years he's ready. It's the hoarder's pitch. Yes. How about this, Beck? What if you take Jimmy's pitch and you get all that set up so that you have the nostalgia factor there? And then what if you...

Your dad has a lot of trophies. A tremendous, I don't know, he must have been very good at whatever the hell he was doing. He was really good. My dad was good at everything he did. He was like the type of guy who did everything. Not letting go. He's not good at letting go. He's not good at letting go either. I've never seen that many trophies. So what if you just took the top of all the trophies

And you found a way to, this is crazy, and I don't know if this exists, but melt some of those down and have a new trophy made that is World's Greatest Dad. Oh, that's a good idea. So you're sort of taking the spirit of all those trophies. Into one big one. Into one trophy. And then you also have the VR tour for when your dad wants to take a stroll.

This is becoming a nearly $1,000 pitch. Make one huge trophy and put it on top of the house. They live in a trophy. Yeah. But I will say the last part of my pitch is you let us have the shorts and we give them away to a fan who promises to give them a good home. Oh.

Yeah, that's interesting. That's a good pitch, Gareth. The first one was great, Gareth. Yeah, I really thought I had a good puncture. You had won so much, and you said, like, one more thing. And then can we wear his shorts and give away? It was the week of Columbo.

I think you've received a lot of advice and I think you can cobble together the best parts of the advice. I think some of it was good and some of it was ridiculous. I'm going to say my advice is the best. Garrett's was second and Jake's was a distant third. I honestly think it's super accurate.

And in fact, I'd love to have a trophy for that, you know? I wish we knew where to get some. Before we go, let me pitch another thing to see if I can also be fourth place. Wow. Say you would like to donate the trophies to charities of like kids softball leagues at orphanages. That's a great pitch, Jake. Jake is like pitching for the Bronx in the 40s. He's like, orphans who love baseball.

It's how Babe Ruth learned to hit. I'm going to hit two out for you, kids. So, Becca, you've gotten a lot of different ideas and thoughts. Where's your head at? What are you thinking of doing here? Thank you, everybody, for your pitches, especially Gareth with the shorts living on. I really appreciate that. I'm loving the idea of a world's greatest dad trophy because I would imagine that they have space for at least one for him to keep. Totally.

I don't know about how easy it will be to melt these down because I'm pretty sure they're mostly plastic. Don't worry about that part. Just do what I said. Do it in your yard. You don't have smelting? Yeah.

You don't have a smelter on your block? I mean, my idea is definitely going up towards the top. Quiet, Johnson. She's like, I don't have a bunch of money to melt fake trophies. Becca, let me solve this for you. Put all the trophies in the living room. Get the real estate agent to come to a video of the house. He can look at the trophies anytime he wants. Throw everything else in the garbage. With Jake's pitches. And then...

And so what do you, so Becca, what are you going to do? So you're going to, you're going to either go buy a world's greatest dad trophy and then he's going to go, thanks. This is cool. But I want all my trophies in my shorts. I'll just be honest. If my kid did that, I like saving stuff. I'm like, I'm not saving this like $4 Walgreens trophy. I have real, you get it made. You do it classy. You do it class. I think if you do it, you have to melt down the old ones. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you've got to do it right. It's got to be a meltdown. Please melt the stuff. Come on. Don't be weak. I feel like doing that would add another hold of the ozone layer. Like, these are plastic. Oh, we're already cooked anyway. Just melt the trophies. All right, so back in, close in. What are you going to do? The floor is yours. Take us out of this. It's going to have to be some sort of combo of all the trophies turning into a world's greatest dad trophy and then –

taking pictures of them or getting a nice big picture done of them so that he can sort of thumb through all of his accomplishments when he feels like it. Maybe I'll dress the world's greatest dad trophy in the shorts. Great. I like that. Put him in the cup. Great, by the way. Very easy to do. Yeah. And that way, if he can't see the trophy, he can smell where it is.

it is but becca that's a great idea then he's got a book that has all his stuff that his daughter made that's a huge win daddy's trophies yeah daddy he's super sentimental so he'll love that this is a big win becca thank you for the call we appreciate you thank you becca thanks so much guys yeah you're welcome well wow

I didn't. You know what? I wanted help. I didn't know we'd be that much help, though. Yeah, that's a lot of times what we find. It's just we're too helpful. Welcome to the premise of the show. I like the part of the show where Jake forces them to say what they're going to do. You know, most self-help shows, they give the help, and then it's up to the person to do it. But Jake's like, no, you need to decide right now. Well, I like that. We got 15, 20 minutes of call. We need an ending, Jimmy. We're cutting to a ZocDoc commercial.

I also like sometimes when Jake pitches back the pitches, if he doesn't like someone else's pitch, he'll be like, oh, you can do the weird like trophy thing. I definitely try to manipulate the numbers in the end. Because Garrett and I always text about, did they take it? Where are we at? And in certain ones, I'm like, I'm going to try to sneak a win here and just bully him really fast before we go. We got to Zocna.

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Hey there. Holy shit, alright.

Let's go. That's the right reaction. They called me in especially for you. What's your name? Well, thank you. I'm very glad. My name is Julia, and I was calling in hoping that you guys can help me with a super serious work fill-in I'm having. We can. Well, what is it, Julia? What's going on?

So I am an assistant, like an executive assistant, and I recently applied for a job supporting one of like the big boys of the company I'm at. And so, but basically I, I,

I kind of already knew him just a little bit and his office was already near my desk. And so I heard through the grapevine that he has a bit of a sweet tooth. So I put my thinking cap on and I put a candy bowl on my desk, knowing that when like he'd walk by, he'd get candy and like hopefully get to know me. And so the good news is I got the job. The bad news is I have this

this candy bowl shout out to like pavlov for giving me the idea but you know i'm in the new role i'm doing my best to take care of the big dog but um now it's turned into like a water cooler type situation everyone's at my desk at all times there's candy flowing um it's very annoying he's

This is an easy one. This one is so easy. You got to poison the candy. Good pitch, Jimmy. Razors. Candy bowl, and that'll solve the whole thing. There will be nobody gathering around it. Thanks for the call, Julia.

So, Julia, you got a candy bowl out that was meant for the boss, but now all the other workers are eating it and everybody's hanging around. Now your desk and you were just really giving it to him. That's the problem. Raccoons. Yeah. Yeah. A bunch of slobs. Like raccoons. Yeah. And I know you guys are like, I would be pissed if I was Julia. I'm like, I'm doing this to kiss one person's ass. Get your hands out of my Mars bars, you asshole. Yeah.

These are his skills, you motherfucker. I'm not paying for you to eat sweets. It's not Halloween every day. Yeah, walk away, asshole.

okay so is that that's basically yeah so that's the kind of thing how do we get people to stop eating the sweets but continue having them there for the boss is that it see or like i don't know if it's fate and switch if i just completely get rid of the candy bowl because he's kind of me and him are still in this awkward position where we do a lot of staring at each other and i think the only reason he comes out of his office sometimes is because of the candy but it's also like

you know, I know you was reliving your Hollywood fantasy, but candy's expensive. Like it's very expensive. So you got to go not, not, not on Halloween. It isn't, you can go around new neighborhoods and stock up for the whole rest of the year. By the way, that is a great pitch. If this is a money thing, get two other friends, go to Halloween and get garbage bags full of it for the year. Beat up the kids.

My child was robbed. This Snickers is a little bit old. Fuck you. I got it last Halloween. Hey, there are no expiration dates on it. So, Julie, what are we calling this boss of yours? Big dog. We'll call him big dog. Are there lollipops? No, no lollipops. Should I add lollipops? Well, I don't know. What kind of candy do you supply?

I get the good bags, like the Reese's and the Hershey's and the Snickers. Maybe the bags are too good. Maybe it's time for some Smarties and we'll see how frequently people stop by. Laffy Taffy's, nobody's going to be showing up if you've got those. Or how about now and laters? Like eating a candle. Yeah. Or wax lips. Yeah. And so, Julia, tell me why you haven't just taken the bag of candy away before going into the show. Oh.

Because you got the job. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But like people, they love it. They love it. And it's what's worse is like for months, I bet I'll hear about the candy bowl still. Like they'll be like, I don't want that either. I think. Okay. Yes. It's bad candies.

It could be bad candies. You also could what you could also do is like make an egg salad sandwich and cut it into little finger foods and make people feel like you've just kind of missed the mark a little bit. You're going in a new direction. Leave it out in the sun. Get a good odor. Or a little hint of salmonella. You could start to open the candies and leave an open can like leave chocolates opened. I think that'll slowly deter the people.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I have another pitch for you because I'm looking at a little container of them right now. What if you switch to mints? No one goes crazy with mints. This is a good switch. People will take mints, but they're not like flocking for mints. So if you have like a thing of Altoids or something, people might want them and appreciate them. You won't have to disappoint people, but you also don't have that frenzy. I've got a pitch too.

open candy like skittles or m&ms that you have to put your hand in and don't have a scoop so okay they walk by and they go like oh and then they go oh and you go like yeah there was just a two pound bag of m&ms i got and then somebody goes like oh you don't have anything and you go no i don't and then they'd have to put their hands and once one person does

No one's following. I wouldn't hesitate. I would put my hand in there every time. Maybe a single chopstick. A single chopstick is a bold swap. What if you, okay, I got, how about this? A sign where the candy used to be that just says I have diabetes. What?

Well, so a little thing about me is I am a fat individual. So it's also like... What a great term, by the way. Thank you. I've never identified more with a term. Thank you.

I think I just fell in love. Me too. I get why Big Dog likes you. I also think we got a new piece of merch. I am a fat individual. A fat individual. What a fucking... That's the best thing I've ever heard anyone say. Me too.

So just before we go any deeper, you guys need to know I am a fat individual. Well, here's why that could work. I do identify as a fat individual. Holy shit, Julia. Okay, so you're a fat individual. Oh, that's great. And you're the one who has candy on their desk. Oh, fruits. Fruits and veggie strips.

okay you lean out with i'm going on a diet and everyone goes like great you have apples some weird brownish bananas and you go guys it's this year of getting healthier and within a day nobody cares about your food you'll never speak to anyone again you'll go like oh she brought a thing of grapes and bananas and then you go like look i'm a fat individual i'm looking to lose some weight your desk is not an issue anymore no one's coming

I like what Jake, you just went through what I went through with my pitch was that there was silence and Julia just goes, okay. It's pretty lonely out here right now. I like that though. I mean, I think something like that, I think something where you're making the switch is good.

Mint is a good pitch because it's not that's not going to bring people. You don't have an addiction, especially Altoids. Yeah, they're like powdery. They're so aggressive. You could do those in a pack of gum. You could do a little trident ones where you just empty it out. And that means everyone take one a day and that's it.

Gum's expensive, though. Gum has become very, very expensive. A pack of gum now is like $3 at Target. At the airport, it was about $5 the other day. It was shocking. So, Julia, you got a bunch of ideas here.

You got a bad smell, which was an undercredited pitch. So I do think there's something to it. If you, but I mean it, if you put something near your desk that just had a really funky smell to it, egg salad sandwich, fart into the jar itself and then quickly seal it up. Is that crazy? Yeah.

Have a shirt that says I'm a fat individual and farting? On the back and I'm farting. And I'm farting. The whole point is to not draw attention to myself. Right, right. And then there's the idea. So there's mints, there's gums, there's fruits and veggies. What do you think you're going to do?

Maybe I'll put like a nice bowl of apples or something. I kind of like the fruit idea. Or, I mean, the mints are nice because then everyone has fresh breath, which is always good. So what if you started with mints and apples as a transition, and then you could slowly, once the Altoids are gone, just have apples and apples stay there all week? That sounds extremely unappealing just to me. Agreed. It'll end this within three days. You're still offering, but it's a nightmare. It'll end it. Absolutely.

Apples aren't cheap either. I tell you what, Reese's peanut butter cup is a lot cheaper than an apple, and nobody's taking part of an apple. Yeah. I think you've got to go with mints. I mean, that's what I would do. I would go with Altoids. I'd go to Costco. I'd get one of those big packs. I'd put them in there, and I think they'll last you the rest of probably until Easter. Okay.

Well, it's up to you, Julia. What do you think you're going to do? I think, you know, I do love the image of mints right beside apples. So maybe I'll try that and start the transition and then hopefully get all of this food off my desk.

Can you send us a photo of the final spread you put out there? Of nobody near your desk with those options? Yes. And me in my I'm fat shirt. No, no, no. I'm a fat individual. And very different. I look fat.

Julia, we appreciate the call. Jimmy, thanks for coming on. You're the best. Oh, is that it? We're done? That's it. That's our show. Oh, we solved all the problems? I mean, I don't know. It feels like it, though. We took candy off a woman's desk and we put mints there. Boy, what a killer line with I'm a fat individual, though. Do you guys have merch? I mean, because it seems like this is the type of thing that you need to print up.

Yeah, we do have merch and we will have fat. I'm a fat individual. Yeah. Okay. Would you please send one to me? Thank you.

And we're sponsored by Greenlight. You know the deal with Greenlight. As your kids get older, there are some things about parenting that get easier. Jake? It's a way to teach your kids about money management. If you got kids, you know how important that is. I wish I had this as a kid. I had no... Also, I didn't get allowance, so it wouldn't have mattered. I was going to say, yeah. My Greenlight would have been empty.

Like you said, your dad just hit a $100 bill around his place every now and then. My green light would be like, once a year, I'd be like, how do I deposit a CINO? But I think it's great. I think it's a debit card, and it's very easy for the family. We're able to manage it. We're able to do allowance that way. And the kids have been able to take control of their finances in a way that I have found very exciting.

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That's helloalma, A-L-M-A dot com slash here to help. Hey everyone, it's the Shark. The original call from this next follow-up aired on August 8th. It's called Smart People Are Our Kryptonite, and it is the third call from the episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello.

Hi there. Welcome back to We're Here to Help. We know that you're a follow-up, but that is all we know. So who are you, and what the hell happened the first time, and where the hell are we at? Okay. This is Cara. I was on episode 103. Oh, we didn't say no more, Cara. We know. No, what were you? Sorry. I had the...

When was I going to get a grown up fridge? I had the baby fridge. Oh, yeah. I remember this. Cutie fridge. And you had somebody who came to your house who made a mean joke about your baby fridge and you wanted to know how to get revenge.

Yes, it was my cousin and her family. And to be fair, Jake, when we saw the fridge, it was not great. We were we we really sort of jumped ship as far as being super supportive or we held it in. Oh, yeah, I think we rose to the fridge. I think we both said, yeah, I know we texted about it after we did text. It looks like when a kid puts on his dad's shoes is what that fridge zone looked like. So what happened?

So, as I mentioned on the call, they were coming back to visit. And so you guys had mentioned like getting some, we kind of settled on like some sort of like magnet. We didn't want to do like over the top, you know, first we talked about a party and then we were like, no, let's just reel it back a little bit. Sure. So I did get, you push, you gotta take the shot. We find it.

So we, I did get some magnets made. What we settled on, I wasn't going to try to do the, let's have everyone over and do a game night thing because that dream is crushed. So we decided on, they would come over, say hello to my husband and the dogs, and then we would go to dinner. I didn't force my husband to go to dinner with them. So I just had the magnets on the fridge and,

I think I sent Kevin some photos. Yeah, I was going to say. What does it say on it? So I like the line of stuff like the fuck you fridge. I mean, it kind of is. It kind of is the fuck you fridge. But I got a photo of the old fridge. It says started from the bottom. And then it's the new fridge. And it says now the whole fridge is fucking here. Then first ice cubes.

And then what is that first beer amid first beer? Mike, my husband was very excited about his pyramid. He's also disappointed that I didn't get a picture of his first Costco stay call because he literally our freezer is just steaks from Costco. OK, so so so you put now did this stay on your fridge for a while? You promised this was up when they were there.

And it's actually still up right now. I never took it down. I don't think this is pointed. If I was the person who made the mean joke, this doesn't feel like a fuck you to me. This just feels like, yeah, they agreed with me. Now they got a better fridge. Well, but this is what I was going to ask you, Jake. You see that. What's your first reaction when you see that fridge? Honest? If I go to someone's house? Yeah. It's like a cute inside family joke. Okay. I'd be like, this is me. I'd go.

Everything okay over here? No, no one else has seen it. Like, no one else has seen it. It's just still on our fridge. I think it's one of those things, like a family who takes, like, a family, like a funny Christmas thing, and then they post it up, and they're all like, it was crazy. So we all wore ugly sweaters, and you go like, I hope you guys had a nice time. Yeah. I mean, yeah, the fridge is, it's really, you know, a utility for sure. But I definitely, like, if I was with a neighbor, I'd be like, hey, hey.

A lot going on over here. But for the for so our pitch, just to remind us, was more pointed at this this character who insulted you, correct? I believe so. Yes. We were calling him Fred. We were calling him Fred. And did Fred respond after seeing it?

He did chuckle and their older daughter who had no idea about any of this stuff because she was not at the original visit. Like, so it was kind of like he chuckled like, I was like, Oh, you guys can like go grab a drink, like, yeah, lead them into the kitchen. Right. Um,

And he like saw it and he like chuckled. And then she was just kind of like, like you guys were like, what? I don't really get this. Like, glad you got a fucking fridge. And, and I, you guys like your new fridge, which is cool. Yeah, we do. But so Fred, just to, just to make this about us. Yeah, go ahead. Just cause it's a follow up. So Fred,

and chuckled but didn't get that stomach ache i think we were craving no but i think by the end of our call we were like we didn't want to be like mean because then it made it seem like that like who's petty i'm just sitting over here seething for you know okay eight months and i did see like some of the i've watched the youtube um they were like acting like

Guys, this isn't our most important issue. I have a therapist for the real help stuff. Jake and Gareth, this is their real help. Yeah, and Cara, we'll tell you from experience.

Don't go in the comments on YouTube. OK, or great ideas. Well, I will. That's where I was called Fat Aaron Paul. And, you know, it's it's a ride. So if you're going to jump in there, you're going to need some Kevlar. But so to to go back to just to wrap this one up. So our advice to you was put something on that fridge that lets him know.

You've upgraded. You have a sense of humor about it and also kind of fuck off. Yeah. You guys picked a fun thing. It worked. You did it. I think the magnet looks really good. It's, it's making fun of the old one. It's celebrating the new one. Fred saw it, chuckled and went, okay, well,

So all in all, this feels like a kind of win. It's a ring the bell. You think it is? I think it's a ring the bell. You think it is? Okay, great. If you think it's a ring the bell, and both you guys do, then I'll take it. We'll ring the bell. Okay, because this feels more like it was near the suggestion, but also like happy ending. Yeah, listen, we get closure. I mean, my only note would be why is the calendar on the fridge, but we're not going to get into that.

Maybe. And why is it bigger than the picture? Why is it so big? But we're not going to get into that because then we're going to start to unring the bell a little bit. Because Gareth, that's where I'm at. Did you not watch 8x10 Magnet? Well, also, there's also like- It's a big calendar. But it's the beer joke too. It's a lot. So I'm like, well, I thought the joke was, didn't he say it's time to get a grown up fridge? Yes. So I thought it was going to be more like, I'm growing, bitch. Yeah. Yeah.

So I failed. No, we rang the bell. We're not unringing the bell. But also, just to be very clear, it would not be your failure in the statistics of this show, which we all take and Gareth and I will take with us for the rest of our lives via text messages. Absolutely. I just don't know if...

40%. So I think you're, you're doing all right. Listen, you're the one with the huge calendar. We're not going to start like, I just don't know if I'm my heart of hearts. And this is a victory. Kevin, Kevin, what, what is it?

I think it's a bell. What is your thoughts? I think she knew she wouldn't have emailed in if she didn't feel like it was a win. I feel like it's a win. Okay, it's a win. It's a win. Kara thinks it's a win. Kara thinks that's three to one. I'm taking it as a win. Let's ring the bell. Thank you for the follow-up. Ring the bell. Big calendar. If anything, I'd shrink it a little bit. Thank you, Kara. We love you. Thank you. Have a good night. Calendar's huge. That's for another place, maybe the office. Thank you so much.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeown. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com.

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.