117: Organized Fun Can Be Tricky with Steve Berg
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And we are back. Oh, Jake. We've got a fun one. And for the intro, who's not in this episode. No, it's a shame. He's just doing an intro with us. Mr. Stephen K.

Hey, listeners, what's up, man? Hey, will you tell us what just happened with the chicken? I almost started a five alarm fire in my kitchen because I'm doing a rotisserie chicken and I did a little too much olive oil on that and Himalayan sea salt. By the way, sounds delicious. What are your sides going to be? I wish it was mashed potatoes, but it's mashed cauliflower. Wow.

And why are you doing cauliflower over mashed potatoes, Steve? That's what the wife requested, so I just do as I'm told. I like it. I like it a lot. Also, Jake, is there a better word for Steve to say than rotisserie? I don't think there is.

Rotisserie. I agree. It's just beautiful. Now, Steve, you have a podcast, High Strangeness. I sure do, Gareth. It is a podcast. Everyone should go listen to it. Right, yeah. We talk about a lot of weird things like UFOs, the paranormal, ghosts, weird history, counterculture, good stuff. I love it. All right. And Jake? And I have a hat that was made by Kevin's talented brother.

beautiful wife, Leah. Yeah, that looks awesome. What's the Instagram? Yeah, she killed it. Her Instagram's shop.roleyhog, R-O-L-L-Y-H-O-G. And yeah, she made an awesome shirt and hat for Jake and his bro for Vegas. It was my bro's 50th. Oh. And we went to Vegas together, stayed at the Venetian, which is by far my favorite hotel. Yeah, why is that? I haven't realized I'd been there before.

It's just fucking really nice. It's really easy. It's connected to the sphere.

So it was like, neither did I. That's cool. It was just so easy. We ate at this restaurant called Bouchon there, which was all, I'm like, Oh, we're not even leaving. We didn't walk on the strip. It's kind of the best part. It kind of, but like, I didn't realize that before. Cause whenever I've gone there, I'm always up and down the strip. Then I go to the older Vegas and you're trying to move around. And what did you just throw in the mouth? Bergie? A snooze. Oh, just your, but this was the first one where we got to the hotel.

We were at the Venetian and we didn't move. And he and I left and we said, let's just do this annually. That's awesome. Absolutely. Not leaving. Awesome. Not leaving is the best part. This was the best Vegas trip I'd ever been on. And it wasn't even two nights.

No, one night. We got there, flew in Saturday morning, left Sunday night. That's perfect. That's all you need. Not one sip of alcohol. What? Wow. Who are you? I don't know. That is a change. Two workouts. Two workouts. What? This trip sucked. It was the fucking best. Now, okay, gamble-wise, up or down? Because I know you might have not had booze, but you definitely played. My brother doesn't even play.

You didn't play anything? I played under a hundred bucks. My brother likes slots. So we just goofed around on slots. And what he does, which is really funny, is he'll pretend like the stakes are high. We'll do like quarter slots. Yeah. And it would be like seven, seven and a miss. And he would go, can you believe it? He almost got it. And everyone would look and I'm like, honestly embarrassed. I'm embarrassed.

Just the two of you? Just the two of us. Oh, man. That is awesome. What were the activities? What did you guys do then? Well, we went to a really nice dinner. We made reservations. We wore nicer clothes. I mean, we were at Bouchon where we ordered some food. It was really nice. Then we went to the Eagles.

How was that? I saw them at the Sphere. The Sphere is nice. I bet. Is it crazy? It looked cool. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. The Sphere is crazy. Have you guys gone? No. I want to. Yeah. It's worth it. It's a really... I would probably go if I did it again and just see the movie, though. Yeah, yeah. The concert, all that's cool, but you can see a concert. What's cool about it is you're in the... It's like a love affair to screens. Right.

Well, you're like, this is the biggest screen and the wildest screen I had ever seen. You feel like you're falling over. At times it's too much. Sure. You're like, my head's spinning. I don't like this. And other times. Yeah. It's probably because you're sober.

I was just going to say, A, would you think Steve with his vertigo would be okay in there? And also, if he was, would you permit him to take a bunch of edibles and go in there? Absolutely. He would love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think if you were on drugs in there, it would be an experience that would be way too much for me. Yeah. I mean, I would say two-thirds of the audience were on mushrooms. Wow.

And you know that because you look around and everyone's just going like that. No one was dancing. Everyone's just staring at the screen like this. Staring at the screen. I was like, this is wild. You said they show a movie. What does that mean? Like they show regular movies in there? No, there's like a whole story that they try to do in visuals. So you're like going through a visual experience while the band is going. Okay. And you're like, you know, it's just, you know, it's very, it's wild. Yeah.

Well, listen, I think that's great. I also think, Jake, maybe next time you take Bergie and Edelstein and let those two just edible their little faces off and watch what happens. You know what? You could take them in there when there's no show and they'd be like, whoa, brother, I've never been happier. It's better without a show, actually. The show's up here, buddy. I had lunch with Eric and he goes, how was it? And I was like, you know, it was really amazing. He was like, man, how was the band?

And I go like, I'm an Eagles guy. And I'm like, they've gotten older. And he goes, older and better. I'm sure Joe Walsh still has it. And I go, I mean, I'm sure he was better in 72. You know, he's good. Always optimistic. Always. And then he goes, he's like, man. He's like, I hear he's like, you should have seen Dead and Company. I know, I know, John Mayer. But it was the best dead show that I'm like, stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Well, Steve, you'll join us on a call in the future. And boy, like we said, you've got a couple moments in it. We're very excited. Actually, why don't we add, Kev, let's just do a little producing while doing it. Why don't we just add the chicken call to the first one? Great. So we have a special guest who's going to be a caller. Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy the show. Go get them. Hi. Hi. Can we get your name, please?

Yeah, I'm going to use not my real name, but you can call me Lucy. Lucy. Actually, Lucy, before we do this, Kevin, will you send in our man of the hour? Sure. So, Lucy, you got a special guest. Oh, no. I just figured we should do it early. Is he recording and everything all set up? Yep. No way. He's probably just had a one hitter. I did just have a one hitter and I did forget about that.

You didn't even finish the sentence. I'm very transparent. I love the backdrop, Stephen. It's amazing, Steve. Well, thanks. As you guys know, I'm a big fan of Outer Space and All Things Cosmic. Yeah, and your podcast, High Strangeness, is doing great? Well, everyone's talking about it. Yeah, people are loving it. No, it's going good. I'm having so much fun. Are you lying? You definitely took a one here. I'm not going to lie. Can I suggest an alt title for your podcast? All Things Cosmic.

That is good. I will take it up to advisement with the board. You're the board. Okay, so now Lucy, we're going to make this about her. Steven, you're just going to fold in with us. I love your shirt, Jake. Thanks, man. It's a great shirt. I got a bunch of the same ones. It's really nice. I like it. You know what I love about Jake? You'll give him a compliment and he'll have a weird little detail follow-up. Yeah. It's like, I like your shirt. Thanks, man. I got 50 of them yesterday. That is grossly accurate. Yeah.

there's no rib bottle on that one i like that thanks man i got 42 of them in boxes in my head i'll have them forever don't like it that much wish i didn't compliment the shirt i got 30 smalls and 50 extra largest i don't know which way i'm going who cares yeah so lucy uh yes how old are you 35 35 and where are you calling from lucy

Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Nice. What section? Downtown Brooklyn. Very cool. I live close to the Brooklyn Bridge. Beautiful. I just walked over it with the family. Lovely. Lovely. Yeah, we all liked it. Not about that. More about you. So, Lucy, 35 from Brooklyn. What do you do in New York? What keeps you busy? Marketing. Marketing. Any hobbies you really like? Spoiling my dog. Spoiling your dog. Trying restaurants. Lucy, what's your real name?

Oh, nice try. Damn it, almost got it. Lucy, what can we do for you today? Okay, so my husband and I are going to Chicago mid-October with another couple, one of his best friends and his wife. He and I, my husband and I are extremely low-key people. You know, we love traveling, but we generally are, you know,

museums, eat some food. But one of the people we're traveling with is extremely, extremely type A and has kind of assigned themselves as the de facto trip planner. So as a result, one of the activities that we've been assigned is a Segway tour as a couple.

As a couple, they have previously done these in other cities and have said that they've enjoyed them, so they wanted to do one in Chicago. And so we've already tried to talk our way out of going in a few ways to no avail, but this is really...

one of the last things that my husband and I want to do on a vacation. So the question is, how can we, or is there a way to get out of this without causing friction in the friendship? Because my husband, we can call him Ricky and his friend who will call Fred are extremely close. They've been friends for a very long time.

Um, so we don't want to cause any, we don't want to make any big waves. Um, so like, is there a way to get out of it? And then if not, if you don't think so, uh, how can we make it more tolerable? I've got, well, first of all, Lucy Bravo. Lucy, what's your relationship with Ethel?

I'm just showing you I know the source material. Thank you. I appreciate it. I think it may be easy enough to remember. I think we can assume that the type A is the lady. It's not Fred, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We've met like once or twice and she's lovely. And like her type anus is really to get everyone to rally around fun, but it can be very intense. Yeah, I understand that. Okay. Yeah. Organized fun can be tricky.

Yeah. And we want to, you know, go along and have fun. And Fred has even kind of sidebarred with Ricky to try and convince us that segues are fun. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. But we're not quite there. Can you send us those texts?

I would love to hear the pitch of like, they're on the way of the future. It's how all transportation will be. Like a Segway tour feels like a 2008 thing you did. You do realize they're going to knock down all highways and they're just going to be weird Segway streets. This is where we're headed. Eventually they'll hover three inches off the ground. It'll be extra cool. It was actually a call, so I don't have the source material. Understood. You got my first pitch. I got one too. You go first. Go ahead. No, you go ahead.

Uh, you have, uh, Ricky email Fred and say very bad news. Uh, Lucy fell down and hurt her hip and she's really unsure about the segue and we just don't think it is smart to do. So we're in for everything else, but I just don't feel responsible putting my woman on a, uh, uh, uh,

little three-wheeler that if you lean wrong, you fall down and get hurt. She's got a very serious hip injury. That's what I have. Yeah, I have wrist, but yes. Yes, wrist is perfect. I was thinking wrist because you can wear the little wrist guard and it's not really going to fucking do anything. You can wear like a little CBS brace. I like what you guys said. I've lived bigger lies. I...

What if you did this? Because there are many cases of late in life people developing vertigo and inner ear problems. And I, myself, speak from experience, young lady, I can now not even go on a canoe without titter-tottering for days. What is happening? You could say that there's a case of vertigo, like an inner ear thing, where it sounds so crazy and she's a little embarrassed of it, but she gets kind of dizzy and motion sickness on weird vehicles.

Vertigo is clean. Vertigo is clean. It's like you don't have to wear it on your physical body as a fake injury. Then you're in a costume and you have to commit to that whole day for the weekend. You don't have to wear the wrist thing. Can we just highlight the fact that Steve is now saying he can't go on canoes as regularly as he normally does? I can't say. How often are you denying a canoe offer? I mean, fairly often. Only like three to 18 times a week.

You don't look at things a lot of times. Well, as an avid angler, a.k.a. fly fisherman, I mean, like, I can't go on the boat. The ocean fishing, that's out for me.

And it's tough. Because of your fake vertigo? It's not fake, brother. It's real. When did you get vertigo? I developed it. You know, I was seeing the movie Capote. And then all of a sudden. Crazy start. Okay. Yeah. So Lucy, Lucy, this is your story. You were watching the movie Capote. And then Steve, what happened after that?

Well, I walked out. No, I wasn't even high. That could have been the problem. That's a lie, Steve. That's a lie. Can I just interject really quick? Because she did ask, what is a way, if we don't end up getting out, to make it more fun? And this brings up a little friend I like to call Mary Jane, the teacher plant.

which is very legal in California or Chicago. Take, I would say five to 10 milligrams. I'm not on a segway. Hell yes. On a segway. You can't even go on a canoe because you're big. She's going to get actual vertigo from your pit. Yeah. If,

Well, I don't know. I think a couple of cocktails or, you know, a little a little of the Mary Jane, the teacher plant. We go a long way. So we're all signing off on is get real high and drunk for this thing that's already tough to balance on and then hurt your hip in reality. Here's a real pitch, Lucy. I think the vertigo is a very clean one. What do you think of that?

I think I prefer that to like the hip or the wrist because like I don't want to have to pretend that I have a limp the whole weekend. Right. But you can get out of anything that Ethel is putting together because your vertigo is acting up. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. They can go like, oh, we're all going to go to this like fancy roof restaurant and eat these weird fish things. And you can go like this vertigo.

And it seems like something you wouldn't make up. It's so niche that it seems so believable. So Steve, walk us through. By the way, before we do this, Lucy, if we can nail down a story, will you go with Vertigo?

I think I could because I do get motion sickness, like light motion sickness. Oh, shit. And I feel like that could work its way into, like, I could not have to fake it as much as, like, an actual injury. I'm sorry, Lucy. Oh, I'm sorry. So much thought just came out of my nose. Steve.

Steve just looked like a latchkey kid who left the stove on. We have this clip of whatever happened has to be posted. Lucy, Steve. Yes!

Sorry. Sorry. Steve just goes. He goes, oh, no. Threw his headphones up and ran away. And we don't know what just happened. Sorry to interrupt. We will keep the show going. But for those who know and love Steve, that's as good of a Steve moment as you're going to get. So in terms of the vertigo, you feel you can push on that.

Yeah, I think that's believable. I do too. And I think it's really clean. And I'm also like a terrible liar. So I feel like because I do have motion sickness, like I, I, it's not as much of a stretch for me. Sorry, Lucy. One second. What just happened? Steve? My fire alarm went off. Oh my God. And here's the best question. Why? Because I have a rotisserie chicken in there. You burned a chicken? I think, I think I put too much olive oil on it. And, uh,

Whoa, that was close. That was close. I am sweating. Holy cow. All right, Steve, do something really fast for us. Yeah, baby. Will you tell us the story of how, so just in a very real way, you, sir, have vertigo? Yeah. How was it discovered? Okay, so vertigo often can happen with motion, if you have too much motion or if you're exhausted, like dehydration or something like that.

I was shooting night shoots doing it like for like eight or nine days. And then I came back from Idaho to LA. And the next day, my wife and I went to go see Capote at the Los Feliz three. And at the end of the movie, I started feeling a little dizzy and I stood up and I couldn't even like walk. She had just like interlock her arm and like walk me home. Well, like it was crazy. Yeah.

And then since then, what are your flare-ups when you're on a canoe? If I go, obviously canoeing is out. Obviously.

My lifelong passion. What can you do now? And I come from a big canoeing family. But yeah, boats, any kind of like weird vehicle, I can't go on anything that, even like going on a swing, like at a park, I can't do that. Like nothing. So just real quick, as a member of society near parks, you shouldn't be going on swings anyway, buddy. Agreed with you. True that. So now, Lucy, back to you for a second.

So everything about that, which was good apart from the night shoots and Idaho stuff, but all you need to say is you've been working, but you'd been working too much. Or you couldn't sleep for five days. Yeah. Whatever you just retired. Can you tell us the story that you are going to tell Fred and Ethel and use those examples, Steve's story as your own, but put it in your own words. We want to see how you are as a liar. Mm-hmm.

okay so the setup would be very simple it is you are saying why you can't go on the um what's it called the segways they ask at some point while you're having dinner what happens are you a vertigo yeah i it's it's crazy i you know i've been working a lot work has been really busy um and you know we we went out bike riding

You know, we take the dog out like riding. And I almost fell off my bike in the street because I got so dizzy. And, you know, even on the elevator going into work, I've been feeling really dizzy. And so I went to the doctor and they said that I because of, you know, being really busy and having trouble sleeping, it can really lead to things like like vertigo.

Do you want to go on a canoe? Yeah. Steve, did you ever go to a doctor? I did. I did. And what did they prescribe you with? Anything? They just said to avoid it, or they gave me an option of a patch to wear behind my ear if I wanted to go on a boat, but they were unsure if that would even work. So you didn't go to a real doctor. You were in a mall talking to somebody who was just walking around. Yeah. Well, it was Eric. It was Edelstein. Yeah, it was Dr. Eric.

You could put a sticker on your ear and you'll be fine. So, Lucy, I would say that you then went to a doctor and I would even do that and they go, they told me for the segue thing I could wear a patch behind my ear, but I didn't want to mess with it. And so they just said avoid stuff like that. So I'm going to have to be a downer, but I do not want to stop you and Fred from going. Have fun. Ricky and I will do our boring old dinner and walk around and we'll catch up to you after.

Do we think the best way for her to unfurl this is to do it in person? Or is it better for Ricky to text Fred, let him know, and then we have her ready with the story, which I think is really good. That's exactly right. Yeah, because she can act like she's shy about it. Like, I don't want to be a bummer. I don't want to be like the person. But your version of it is great. So what you just said, Lucy, I think is perfect. Perfect, I agree. Just lay it out there and have Ricky do that part for you.

So, Lucy, are you going to do this plan? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I'm sure they'll ask while we're there and then I'll have my story ready. But I'll put the bad guy or bad cop on my husband. And do the same thing and talk to your husband about it. I really like that detail Steve had of his wife had to walk him home and be like, we had to stop and we had to walk the bikes and be like, it was wild. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I like that. I think I can do that. You can. And then can you do us a favor and take a screenshot of when Ricky probably texts this to Fred? That's right. And maybe Fred's response so we can see that. That's great. And then also remember, you are taking the advice of a guy who has a galaxy background and almost burned his house down because he over-oiled the chicken. Yeah, yeah. So he's an expert.

Exactly. Thank you, Lucy. Thank you for the call. We appreciate you. High strangeness, Steve Berg. Yep. Get hip to it. Thank you.

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of a website or domain using the code gil sent me squarespace.com slash gil sent me. Hello. Hi, can we get your name please? Yeah, my name is Mike. Mike. Hi, Mike. Mike, can you tell us something about you that might be interesting for us and our viewers that just gives us a little side action? An insight. Could be anything.

Uh, yeah. Uh, I have a go-to karaoke song called the stroke by Billy Squire. Great one. Can we hear a taste? I can send in a Christmas video, a Christmas party video if you'd like. It's a crazy answer, Mike. Um, by the way. Yeah. Let's maybe attach it to the end of the episode. Please. Okay. Mike, what is the issue today, friend? Okay, guys, I'm going to sound like a real spoiled brat in this video. Uh, or I'm sorry, in this call. Um, so, uh,

I'm going to Disney World with my wife and kids this Saturday. Right. Okay. And I'm going with my boss and his family and they are huge Disney fanatics. They asked us to go a few months ago and I actually told them no, that I would rather stay home.

Thank you for the offer, but no thank you. And then they offered to pay for it for my family to go. And so I just felt like I couldn't say no. You couldn't. That's your boss. So I am going. My wife and kids are super excited, but I am dreading this vacation. And I was wanting to see if you guys could help me get out of the dad funk is what I've been calling it. You remember if your dad ever get upset right before vacation? Yeah, I get this call, Mike.

You're not a spoiled brat, 100%, and you're not a spoiled brat in my opinion. Now, the commenters and the YouTubers and everybody might disagree with us, but I hear you, Mike.

This is a tough spot you're in. You tried to get out with money. You can't get out at your boss. It's just that it's going to suck. It's going to be hot. You're going to be at Disney. Everyone's going to be tired. This is a nightmare. There's going to be three other couples and ten kids all under the age of 13 staying in the same house for a week. This is hard. Mike, here's the first thing.

It's going to be over before you know it. Cause what you don't want to be, and I've been this and I've been told by my wife to cool it is you don't want to be bringing down the vibe because your kids are, that's not my, that's not my, that is not my personality in any other aspect of my life. I totally get it. It's tough though. So what, so basically the question is, and then if I'm telling you your question, I'm incorrect, correct it.

But is the basic question, how can we flip your POV of this week to turn a frown upside down?

You got it, Spider-Man. Thank you. Okay, so now we got to find it because it's not going to be easy. I mean, what is our angle? Are we going pep talk? No. We're going a game for Mike that nobody knows besides Mike. I mean, my first instinct is a bad game. Which is? It's a slippery slope. Let's try. I mean, there are times, and this is, I don't drink a ton, but I'll tell you what, there are times where I'm going, I don't want to do it. Yeah.

And I'll be like, a little bit of booze goes a long way. A sneaky cocktail or two could be the way to add a little bit of fun to this. But here's another game, Mike. And by the way, booze for sure. You just got to be really careful if you're a little grumpy and it's hot. You also, you don't want to get snappy. Yeah, and we don't want to get hammered. We're just talking about a sip or two to just make the day a little nicer. But let me pitch something that I don't know where this is going to end, Gareth. I'm going to need some help. But I think you're going to like the setup.

Let's go. So when I first started doing press and I would do those big junket days, you'd be sitting in a chair all day answering questions and it was overwhelming. I didn't know what to do. And I was with Mike Serra. And Mike used to play a game where before the interview, he would say, let's see if we can sneak in the word watermelon. And you would have to do it so that the people interviewing you didn't think you were making fun of them. You didn't make it ridiculous, but you'd have to find a way to naturally get it in.

And so when that would happen and in the middle of him answering a question, I'd forget. He would say, you know what this movie is like? It's like you go to the supermarket, you get a cantaloupe, you can get a watermelon, you get something else. But what this movie is, is it's a comet. And you would go, wow, was that good? And it became a game in the day. So something that we could build with you that you could follow up back with us is like,

How many people did we see sitting on the sidewalk eating a churro? Uh-huh. Right? How many crying kids? How many couples fighting? Or whatever, so that when you see it, you just mark in your phone like blank. Like what are some things that during the day, how many meltdowns within the family? Here's what I like. Okay.

It's almost like setting up your own mental scavenger hunt. Like we... That is it. We come up with your own little mental scavenger hunt

Part of that is something like that. And also like getting a picture with each character. Yes. How about we try to overall on the trip put on three pounds more? Yes. But like we're trying to eat a ton. Yeah. But let's but hold on because there's I think Mike, first of all, do you like this zone? Yeah, for sure. I mean, I would.

No, I do. I do like this. I was trying to think of when you were talking about three pounds, I think that's going to be low for this trip for me. I think I am going to eat most of this trip. This will be 10. This is going to be a decade away. Let's say for the end of the week, you've got to put on five pounds. One night you get drunk without anyone knowing, including your wife. You've got to get a picture with each character. You have to try each. I mean, are you going there every day?

No, not every day. So we're actually, there's three days at Disney, two days at Universal. Okay. So here's what I'm thinking. Lust. I'm going to just pitch in a slightly different direction.

I love the scavenger hunt. Right. I like less the eating and drinking because you're going to be a dad. So I like having, if I'm going to have a drink with the kids, but you also want to be present. You want to be hanging out with your kids. You're doing this stuff. Sure. The multiple families, unless they're not good friends, it's like, it's fun when they're buds, but if they're not also your boss, is there anything about your boss that

Do you like him? Do you not like him? They're great. They're fantastic people. Love them to death. This trip has nothing to do with me not wanting to go with them. It's just I don't want to go to Disney. And what is it about Disney that you specifically don't like? I feel like everything's a ripoff. I think so, too. What else? It's going to be hot. You've already kind of alluded to it. There's going to be moments where you're waiting in line. There's going to be a kid screaming. Yep.

You're going to get, you're going to get angry, probably get mad at your wife for no reason, or she's going to get mad at you for no reason. This is great. And everyone's and you've spent all this money for everyone just to get mad at each other for four days. Okay. So Mike, I'm with you a hundred percent on this. So what I just heard is rip off. We can find a scavenger hunt for overpriced items that you had to pay for. So you're snapping photos of receipts.

Hop, the way we can show hop is sweatiness on your back, your wife's back, inappropriate, like there's too much of a glisten on one of your kid's back of their neck. You go like, literally sweating behind the ears while waiting in line. That could be a check mark. Wife getting mad at you. We can't do you getting mad at her because you might heighten that. Here's what we can do. Jump in. We can change it, open it to the group, and we make it man-

husband-wife bingo. And your wife or the women come up with a bingo card of things they think that the husbands are going to do over the week.

And you come up with a list of things that you think the wives are going to do. Get irritated over a line. Want to buy something too expensive. The men. What? You know what I mean? Yes. Like maybe make that a little bit more of a. OK, go. But I think you're right. I just want to go to Micah. Mike, do you want to include the other couples and wife in this? Or does that put you in a grump corner to start? Is everyone else excited or are more people like you? OK.

So everyone knows my feelings on this trip. I've been very clear about it. And how are their feelings on the trip?

They're all thrilled. They're so excited. That's why I was afraid of the bingo thing. Okay, so then I think he, okay. I think he's got to do a bingo card with us. Yes. I think we build a bingo card, and as he goes, you email into the show until we've filled your bingo card. So we're talking 25, 26 things that you think are going to happen over the course of the week. I think that is it. So how about this? Let's do this really quickly, Mike. 25 is a lot.

It's a lot. Ten. I've got a pen and paper. Okay, and so do we. So what is the first thing that you think is going to happen on this trip that's going to piss you off? The more specific, the better. We're flying, so a flight getting delayed. Okay, perfect. Okay, flight delayed. Okay, on the flight. And when you get specific, I want your kids' names, your wife's name, or somebody's.

Is there anything that's going to piss you off about that flight or get into the airport or get into the hotel? We're renting a car, so maybe someone lost a reservation. Okay. So somebody in the group loses a reservation. That's for car or hotel, meaning you're in the lobby and you all have to wait because something went wrong. Both things would piss me off.

Now you're in the hotel room that first night. Are you going right to a thing or is the first night just hanging around the hotel? Oh no, you said a rented house. Yeah, they're renting a huge, beautiful home. It's got like eight bedrooms in it. So Mike, what pisses you off about that house? Yeah, it's just going to be loud all the time, the whole time. You know, you're not going to get...

There's 13 kids, you know? Yeah. There's going to be no escape from it. Okay. So what would you like in it? What would you like an escape to do? Ooh. Cause I'm, what I'm looking for is a moment where you're like, I like to play chess on my phone, right? So if I'm there, I've just got the plane. We've all landed. I know my kids are good. They're playing with their buddies. My wife is good. I go like, I have nothing to do. What I'm going to want to do is like find a nice chair sitting outside and

zone out, play a game or two at chess. So do you have something like that? Because what we can say is when you're in that moment, if you get interrupted on that first night in your first break, that's a bingo thing. So what would be, what's the first thing you want to do is have a beer? Your peace interrupted. That's exact. What is your peace on that first night? Yeah, I think like having a drink outside by the pool. Great.

Okay. Just a interrupted drink break. I'll put that on there. Okay. So drink break. So now keep in mind that first night, it's not your first drink. If you're having it while everybody's unpacking and you get interrupted, everyone's unpacking. It's when literally everybody's settled. And there's always that moment where you're like, the bags are as empty. You're going to have them. The kids are doing something. Either you and your wife are connecting or doing your own thing. And you go,

All right, it's 8.15. I'm actually going to sit and have a drink. The shark, that's when he's smoking a cigar. Or in Vegas, eating a bowl full of spaghetti for four. Spaghetti for four alone. Which I've still thought about how hungry that made me. It's the only thing I took away from yesterday. How bad I want to go to Vegas and eat spaghetti for four. I was just going to say, I love the idea for Vegas. You're like, oh man, spaghetti for four? By the way, if Berg was hugging Vegas, you want to go to Vegas? He's like, Vegas, baby, we're like swingers. I went there, I ate so much noodles.

I'm like the new Vince Vaughn. You should have seen. I ate so much spaghetti they wanted to put my picture on the wall. I'm truly Mike on that Vegas trip. Okay, so the first night you're having a drink and you're relaxed, if a kid or anybody interrupts it, card. Bingo. Okay. Next day. Oh, is there anything that night when everyone's trying to sleep you're afraid someone's going to annoy you?

I mean, you could just put that, you know, I don't know if you guys have experienced this. Well, you have a cat, Garth, so you'll know. That's actually Garrett. Thanks for listening. What did he say? It's Garrett. And he said we have a cat. He said it's Garrett that got thrown. He said you will appreciate this, Garth. You have a cat. I'll tell you why I got thrown. He wrote no sex. Garth does not have kids and does not go out. I have bingo pitches. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll tell you what's not going to happen on a Disney trip with 13 kids in a house. Yeah. Mike's not fucking. I'm saying, I'm saying if he gets fucked, it's, or no sex is bingo. He's not going to get laid. But Mike, would you be mad if you didn't have sex on the trip or do you expect it? I think he should have on there that he has sex and he should try for it.

It's going to be hard, but I want a quickie. Okay. But hold on. Hold on. We have to be clear of what our intention is. So if there's a good thing, we also get a bingo hit. I think it's the things that are, he thinks are going to happen. Okay. So I think he can pull off a quickie. So do you think Mike, just now we're going on a bit of a tangent, but it might end up really great. Do you believe on this trip sex is going to happen for you?

It's going to have to be quick, which should be a problem. But you think there's a chance it was going to happen? And if it doesn't happen, you're pissed off. Am I projecting? Yeah, I would say pissed off. It's obviously understanding, but it is frustrating. Okay. So how about this? So no sex is a bingo. Okay. No sex is a bingo. If you have sex, you can't mark it. Okay. Even if it's a one-time quickie, that's sex. So if the trip ends and there's no sex, mark it down. Yep.

That's a bingo. That first night when you're trying to sleep, are you nervous about somebody else's kid crying and waking you up? I'm nervous about my kids doing that. Interesting. Okay. So wake up if that happens. Kid wake up in general, I think is a... Kid wake up on a trip. Yeah. So now we enter Disney. Okay. I got some. Go ahead.

Costumed character over their job. Meaning? Mickey is not into it. Oh, that's interesting. Kind of a negative energy from Mickey. Yes. I've been inside those costumes. Bullshit. Same. Kid in the group. A child pukes over the course of the week. Okay. Yes, that's exactly right. Puking kid. A child pukes. Okay. A ride breaks and it upsets a child. Okay.

But then you could also say ride anything that upsets. If the line's too long and a parent decides no. Ride trauma. Ride trauma. Okay. Okay. So is that included with a ride breaking down? Yes. So anything that happens where if one of the kids is like, I want to go on this ride. And then there's a big fight about rides. You just go right to the bingo card. I think couple argument.

A tense day based on a couple. Yeah. Or it could be you. That's exactly right. If I would say if I'm on a vacation. We do. Go ahead, Mike. I'm sorry. There's four couples. Should I do a couple argument between all four? And every time one of those couples argue, I mark their bingo. Yeah. Each couple. Each couple. Yes. And if you get if all four do, those are extra points. Oh, man.

It sucks. Yeah. Okay. So, okay. So we've got now a bunch of stuff. We've got nine stuff. What we haven't touched on the wife mad, or you being mad at her, that actually goes to the couple fight, the rip off, uh, when you are forced to pay something, uh,

that you think is astronomical in terms of what the charges disgusting. And you go like, a bottle of water, how much? And you decide, you're like, I'm going to do all the kids' waters. Let's go, everybody need one? And then you go, I got this, guys. And they go like, $280. I like that. Does that make sense? I also think, just to add a couple more real quick, something important gets lost.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then the last one would be someone drinks too much.

Well, that'd be Mike. Maybe, but I think it's outside of Mike. Someone on the trip gets a little too drunk one of the nights. That would be at least from the ones I've been in surprising. Well, what would you say is the parameter for drinking too much? Is that someone like growing up or someone that's like... This would be with like a bunch of parents, even if like one of the parents gets drunk. I think just your judgment. I think when you're like, boy, Ted's pretty fucking shit-faced. Yeah.

I would say let's we can make it. Well, I'm not I'm not against it, but we want bingo to be hard. You're right about that. Actually, I was thinking the other way, but that's right. If then if anybody excluding you gets too drunk, that gets marked. So we now have 12 things. So here's going to be the challenge. Mike, out of these 12 things, realistically, how many do you think you're going to hit on this trip?

Oh, let's see. I'm going through right now. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I've got at least eight that I'm sitting here looking at. Hold on. So you're thinking you can confidently hit eight out of 12, right? Yeah. And if each couple, there's four couples. So if each couple argues that technically four. No, that's not. No. If each couple argues that's just one box. Yeah. But that's a plus one. Yeah. So if three out of the four, that's a zero.

No, I'm going to actually make this harder for you. If three out of four, that's not a win. You need all four for the one box. You were right. So each couple, each couple arguing at one point, and it could be a small argument. And it could also be tension you're picking up. That's exactly right. It can just be, they go, you said, you said, uh, you got the chicken fingers. Yeah. These aren't chicken fingers. I did. These aren't chicken fingers and chicken tenders. Okay. And

And that's it. That's enough. That's that. If I'm on a family vacation, another couple of those that I go like, Whoa, mama mia. It's great. Wrong chicken. Yeah. Let's get them. And then, yeah, you could be pissing next to like a 10. There's a finger. My man, you are a hundred percent. You haven't done this before. Have you dad? So let me ask you a question. Can you get, can you get 10 out of 12? Is that insane? Uh, the only thing that obviously I can't control would be if a flight was delayed. Yep. You're right.

That's fine, though. Losing the car for a reservation or if... Well, let's change the car one to car complications. Okay. Just in some way. Or travel... Well, no, because flight... How about this? What if we put both of those together? Great. And they were travel complications. Travel issue. So then we go down to 11 total. So travel...

uh, complications work for both. And I'm telling you why I'm getting sticky here. Cause we're going to turn this into a little bit. Yeah. So one and two,

Flight delayed, car shit, reservation, you get to the house, the Airbnb doesn't have a code, you get there, it hasn't been cleaned. - Water sucks. - Water sucks. - Something. - That's travel complications. So now out of 11 of these, we've got travel complications. We had when you're having your first drink, you get interrupted. We've got no sex.

A kid wakes you up during the night, yours or somebody else's. You've got an annoyed character that's putting on a bit of a show of like how unhappy they are. One of the kids within your group puking

close enough to you that it doesn't have to be like you see it, but it's part of your day. A kid pukes. It's part of your day. Someone's puked. Ride trauma. Something happens with a ride that just breaks down. A kid hates it. Something. Each couple gets in a tense moment. Yep. A moment that's just the prices at Disney are comedic. Yep. And you go like, you've got to be kidding me. Yep. And something lost that

changes the group dynamic blanket a driver's license whatever anything and one person in the group gets either i'm gonna add kids to this too drunk or over sugared okay because every once in a while kids will be like can i get ice cream and you just go like substance out of fucking control yeah right so yeah and you just go i think he's literally running into a wall yep

Great. So we've got out of that 11 things. Can you try to, can you get eight out of 11? Yeah. I don't think that's going to be a problem. If you get it out of 11, we're going to send you a sweatshirt. Disney bingo. We're going to send you a hat. And that's it. And we're going to send you a mug. And that's it. And that's kind of it. And that's kind of a lot of shit. Yeah.

Your guy's merch is great, by the way. Well, then you're going to get it, my man. And if you don't hit it, call in on a follow-up, and then we're not going to send you anything. Either way, we get a follow-up. And you get a game to play where you have this sheet of paper, and as you hit them... Family vacation bingo. And do me a favor. Do us a favor. When the moment happens, don't checkmark it. Make a note, because we're going to ask about it. And if you do hit eight...

When you hit it, no matter where you are or what's going on, you shout bingo. Yes. And take a photo of your thing. Do a video. A video. And you go like this. Bingo! And then you just say bingo, then film people reacting, and that's it. And hopefully it's during couple tension or a kid puking. I think that's exactly right. This is all we need. This is perfect. Do I need to tell anybody else that I'm playing bingo? No. No. This is your own private Idaho. You can't tell everybody else. Yes. This is the rule.

Nobody can know. Not even your wife.

Yeah, she already asked me how the call is going. I won't tell her. You can tell the wife. The wife can know, but she can't influence any of this. Exactly. You can't tell her the details. And she can't tell anyone else. Or you can just say this. We had a lot of fun. They gave me some fun games to do and to think about. She'll go like, what? And then you go like, hey, they're idiots and stupid. I also, I want you to do this. I want you to do this. Parvash on the floor. I want you to do this. Physically make a bingo card for yourself and print it out.

That's exactly right. Okay. Okay. And, and if she asks, you can say, I'm going to be playing a bingo game during the week. Don't tell anyone. I'm not going to tell you what's on it. And then Kevin, will you leave that there? So when, uh, when he comes back. Yeah. And so Mike, this is important for me. Will you, when each thing happens, write it down? Cause what I would love to happen in the callback is you go, uh,

We go travel complications and you go like this. The second day, and we go, then we can also go, does that count or not count? And we go count it. - You know what else I want? I would love it if you could get a picture, get a bingo video, but of each thing, just get a picture to represent it. - If you could do that, it'd be the best. - And then you can send it to Kevin and you can kind of slide show your way through it for us.

If you got kind of pics. Just kind of. Yes. Of the moment. Going, this kid, the kid puked. I was thinking the same thing. If there's like puke remnants and there's like a kid like looking at and a mom rubbing his back. Yeah. And you just have to sneak a little pic. Your wife, your wife yells at you just when it's over. Picture of your face in the bathroom. Or tension in line where you've got her with her arms crossed. Yes.

looking away and you just write like, right before I said, how long are we going to wait? It seems to be broken. And she said, don't do this. And here's what's great. Here's what's great. Great. I think it's great for us. And I also think this gives you a game, a through line for the week. You have a little mission. We're invested in it. So you're our liaison in your little bingo Disneyland. Yeah. Mike, do you love this as much as we do? We love it.

This has been great. This is going to be good. Yeah. And I honestly, I'm not going to tell anyone what's going on. I'll kind of cue, I'll cue my wife in that. Hey, I'm playing a game, but it's just for me. Yep. And I'm reporting back the show, but you can't, I can't tell you cause you can ruin it for me. I think that's right. Remember if you hit eight out of 11, yell bingo and video everyone reacting to you yelling. That's right. Okay.

Mike, thanks for the call. Mike, we cannot wait. You're going to have a great trip. Can't wait. Thank you, guys. Thanks, Mike. I'm going to sit down and talk. I appreciate you. Okay. Go get them. This season, get premium technology that inspires joy from Dell Technologies. Bring your most intensive projects to life with our most powerful XPS laptop.

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That's HelloAlma, A-L-M-A dot com slash here to help. Hey, how's it going? Good. How are you? Welcome back to the show. We know you're a follow up. We know nothing else. So what's your name and what was the problem you called in with?

Yeah, my name is Mike, and I am the spoiled brat guy who went to Disney trip and was unhappy about it. Dude, I've been so excited to find out how this goes. Same. So, Mike, we basically gave you almost a list of kind of real-life bingo. Is that right? Yep, you got it. I can tell your wife has heard this because you referred yourself as the spoiled brat this time.

Yeah. Someone's gotten in your ear, my friend. That was not your tone on the first call. I didn't even pick up on that. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So I just want you guys to know that it made, I was so excited leading up to this trip just to do this, that I spilled to my boss's wife that I had called into a podcast and I told her that

told her kind of what you guys do and that uh you know i wanted to be excited for this trip and they gave me an idea so we're trying it out she said what is it so i said you just got to watch the show i'll tell you later so the whole week they were all trying to figure out what i was i guess hiding from them and that almost made it more fun than the actual challenges so um it's been it's been a lot of fun but yeah so i actually hit eight of the 11 challenges

I sent in some photos to the shark man. I'm not sure if he has all these. What were the challenges, Mike, just to refresh our memory while Shark gets these pics up? What did you hit? So I hit travel issues. I hit bad costume character, kid puke, ride trauma. What was the ride trauma?

So I sent a photo in. Shark, I don't know if you can show it to them. It's kind of clipped together. It's my son on like eight different rides. Oh, yeah. All of them were drama. Yeah. They were all dramatic. Amazing. Yeah. Oh, Christ. Oh, my God. Yeah. He's losing his mind. The bottom right, he's having fun. But the rest, I went out. I did a ride at the Santa Monica Pier with my daughters and my girl when we started.

My daughter Olivia goes, it's one of those things that goes up. Yeah. And it just starts a second in and she goes, I want off. And I go, I hear you. I go, that's impossible. And then she goes, daddy, I want

I was like, why are we doing this hell trap? It hasn't even gone up. I was like, it's a nightmare. Okay. So you did. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. I'll just say the worst part was, is that, so the photo you can see where he's kind of hunched down covering his ears. Yes. That was the very first ride of the week, actually. So we, we ended up getting past it, but he, you know,

he pretty much was traumatized on every ride he did but he kept doing them so I guess it wasn't too bad great photos what else so travel issues so I sent a photo of me I love these photos so travel issues we were driving back wow

Nice pick of a man to sleep in the airport. Yeah, I wish I was making this up, but on the way back, we got to the airport at like 6 a.m. All the kids are cranky. Everyone's mad. We get on the flight, and then they say, sorry, everyone, we're going to have to deboard. Our captain's chair is not operable. So I'm not exactly sure what that means, if they just couldn't slide it forward or if the chair just broke. Yeah.

But then we had to deboard. They had to get a whole new seat or a new plane or whatever that issue is. So someone snapped a photo of me just... Such a nightmare. Ugh, the worst. Getting on the plane and getting off the plane is the worst one. Yes. Yeah, of course, you're getting all your kids off the plane and then it's just... Oh, the skids are hard. It's a nightmare. Yeah. And it's Southwest, which whatever, Southwest is great, but they don't have assigned seating. So then you feel like you have to fight everyone for the next seat. Yeah. Fucking pass. Yeah.

Um, I don't have a photo for this one, but what happened is wake up call was probably my favorite moment of the whole trip. Um, so we're all sitting there, we're all getting ready for bed. Most, most everyone's asleep in the house. There's only three or four of us just still awake, just hanging out. Uh, we, uh,

A smoke alarm begins going off. And it's a super nice smoke alarm. And it just says that an upstairs room is, I guess, on fire. So we run upstairs. We're trying to figure out what's going on. And my best friend, Adam, runs out of the room in his underwear. And basically, we're all frantically looking for this fire. And we're looking at him like, what's going on?

He's like, I don't know. The smoke alarm turned off and then his brother was with us. He goes, Adam, were you vaping? Adam was vaping and set off the smoke alarm and then tried to gaslight us. We were crazy. I don't have a photo of that one, but I wish I would have a photo of him in his underwear. That's pretty good. All in all, Mike, the trip was made better.

Uh, did you get in any trouble from the family or the people or did everybody have fun with it? Oh, no, everyone had fun with it. So we had, I pretty much told everyone that, by the way, they're all fans of the show. Now we watched you guys on YouTube while we were down there. Uh, uh, my boss's wife was, she, she just actually messaged me today. And when she's like, when's your followup, when's your followup? So they're all fans. But, uh,

They all loved it. They all were trying their best to do things that they thought would complete. I was just calling them a challenge. They're all trying to do things that they thought would complete challenges, and I would just keep telling them that has nothing to do with it, but it was funny to watch. That's great, too. That puts you in a real fun role, too.

Yeah, it was great because it's my little secret. You know, no one knew but me, but they were all trying their best to do something. So I guess I just it just made it fun for me. So, you know what it sounds like? It sounds like, Mike, you had an issue. You didn't want to go on the trip. You created a game. Everybody got involved. We everybody got involved in the game. It made the whole thing more fun for not only you, but all the adults. The kids don't know. They just had a great family trip. And it sounds to me if there were a bell right now, we should be ringing it.

Not only ringing it, Jake, I think you're right what we were talking about before. This is applicable for any fan of the show to take and use on a dread trap. I think that's exactly right. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I think it was definitely something that, especially at first I thought I was going to get in trouble for...

filling the beans about, I was like, they knew I wasn't excited about the trip. So this was nobody, this wasn't a secret. I just told them that, you know, Hey, I've got this challenge. It's a my own little side quest, uh, that I'm going to be doing throughout the trip. And, you know, I think it just made it more fun for everybody in a way, just to, they thought they were being a part of something, I guess. And guess what? Cause they were,

Yeah. Thank you, Jake. One last question for you, Mike. I know on that list was a couple fighting. Is that what didn't we have that on there at some point? Couple tension. Yeah. Did you hit that one? Yeah. I don't have photos of that to prove it. I will. I will say if you'll take my word for it, everyone fought that trip. Yeah.

Of course. There was definitely for everyone to add someone, especially their spouse. But yeah, it was a great trip. We had a good time. I won't be back again for another seven years, but it was good. Good for you. And we're ringing the bell. We appreciate the call. We appreciate you taking our advice. And we're very happy that we can ring the bell selfishly. Goodbye, buddy. Yeah, absolutely.

Thanks, Mike. Take care. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

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