The Tell Them Method - How To Stop Holding On To Emotional Baggage and Regret
2024/10/25
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
J
Jay Shetty
通过播客分享健康和幸福建议，帮助人们管理压力和焦虑。
Jay Shetty: 本期节目核心是“告诉他们”的方法，主张直接向相关人士表达你的感受，无论是简单的决定还是复杂的情感。这与我们常常采用的“告诉所有人，除了他们”的模式形成对比。后者会损害人际关系，导致负面情绪积压，甚至引发身体不适。节目中，Jay Shetty 通过自身经历和研究成果，阐述了直接表达情绪的重要性。他指出，压抑情绪就像紧紧抓住一根绳子，会给自己带来伤害。直接表达积极的情感，例如感激和欣赏，可以建立更美好的关系；而表达负面情绪虽然更难，但避免了八卦和消极情绪的蔓延，也避免了将负面情绪带入其他关系中。他建议用提问的方式表达不满，避免使对方产生防御心理，并强调沟通的关键在于表达方式，而不是表达的内容本身。他还建议选择合适的时机和地点进行重要对话，避免在对方或自己疲惫或压力大的时候进行沟通。此外，他还强调要避免对结果过于执着，尝试理解对方的观点和挑战。最后，他总结了五步沟通法：1. 想象没有任何顾虑你会怎么说；2. 编辑你的表达，去除指责和评判；3. 选择合适的时机和地点；4. 避免对结果过于执着；5. 尝试理解对方的观点。总而言之，直接表达你的感受可以让你摆脱负面情绪的困扰，建立更健康的人际关系，并获得一种满足感和自我尊重感。
Jay Shetty: 节目中还探讨了压抑情绪对身体健康的影响。研究表明，压抑情绪会导致身体上的不适，例如肌肉紧张和疼痛。在极端情况下，压抑的情绪会导致创伤。未表达的情绪可能会储存在体内，导致自责、责备他人以及将压力发泄到亲人身上。因此，及早沟通可以避免后续更多的痛苦和遗憾，避免不必要的精神压力和时间浪费。在进行重要对话时，可以尝试牵手来缓解紧张情绪。
Deep Dive
Why is it important to directly communicate feelings to the person involved?
Direct communication prevents trust erosion, fosters intimacy, and releases trapped negative emotions, reducing stress and physical discomfort.
What are the consequences of not directly communicating feelings to the person involved?
It leads to passive-aggressive behavior, overreactions, health problems, and trapped emotions that can create trauma.
Why does Jay Shetty recommend asking questions instead of making accusations when sharing feelings?
Questions allow the other person to explain themselves without defensiveness, promoting understanding and avoiding confrontation.
How can trapped emotions affect physical health?
Trapped emotions can lead to muscle tension, pain, and other ailments, as they disrupt the natural processing of emotions.
Why should you avoid waiting until the last minute to communicate feelings?
Waiting increases the likelihood of more significant pain and complications later, as unresolved emotions accumulate.
Jay Shetty introduces the Tell Them Method, emphasizing the importance of directly communicating feelings to the relevant person rather than venting to others.
- The Tell Them Method involves directly sharing feelings with the person involved.
- Avoiding direct communication can erode trust and trap negative emotions.
- Jay uses a Zen saying to illustrate the difficulty of holding onto emotions.
Shownotes Transcript