Lori Gottlieb: 7 Answers to Dating Questions You’re Afraid to Ask & How to Break Free from Relationship Timelines
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Deep Dive
Why do people often struggle to do the internal work needed for healthy relationships?
People find it easier to discuss issues with friends, leading to 'idiot compassion' where they avoid self-reflection and growth. Therapy offers 'wise compassion,' helping individuals see their role in relational patterns and break negative cycles.
How can slowing down in relationships save time in the long run?
Slowing down allows couples to understand each other better, addressing core issues rather than superficial ones. This approach prevents hasty decisions based on pressure and ensures a more solid foundation for the relationship.
What is the difference between 'idiot compassion' and 'wise compassion'?
'Idiot compassion' involves validating someone's behavior without encouraging growth, while 'wise compassion' involves holding up a mirror to help them see their patterns and improve.
Why do people often feel they have to rush into marriage?
People feel societal pressure to conform to relationship timelines, fearing they will miss out on good partners as they age. This leads to compromising decisions and overlooking essential relational work.
How can future tripping in relationships be avoided?
Focus on the present by observing how the person treats you now and how conflicts are resolved. This provides a clearer picture of the future relationship dynamics.
What role do in-laws play in relationship challenges?
In-law issues are often a reflection of the couple's relationship. Partners need to support each other and communicate clearly with their parents to maintain healthy boundaries and relationships.
How can partners help each other open up emotionally?
Create a safe space by modeling emotional expression and using gentle, non-pressured questions. This helps build emotional vocabulary and comfort over time.
- Comparing oneself to others on social media can lead to unrealistic expectations.
- Doing internal work is crucial for finding the right relationship.
- People often date their unfinished business, leading to familiar but unhealthy patterns.
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