cover of episode Can People Really Change? 3 Signs Someone Will Change

Can People Really Change? 3 Signs Someone Will Change

2024/10/11
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
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Jay Shetty: 本期节目探讨了人们是否真的可以改变，以及如何判断一个人是否准备好改变。他指出，改变必须发自内心，人们只有在感受到改变的必要性并为此做出承诺时才会改变。他还强调了承认问题和承担责任的区别，承担责任意味着能够解释问题、原因以及未来的改进计划。此外，他还分享了判断一个人是否准备好改变的三个迹象：自我意识、承担责任以及改变的动力。他认为，改变并非线性过程，人们可能会在旧的和新的自我之间反复切换，这需要耐心和理解。最后，他还强调了社群和环境对改变的影响，以及在一段关系中，与其试图改变对方，不如一起探索关系的根本问题，并提升彼此的情商。 Jay Shetty: 本期节目深入探讨了改变的复杂性，以及如何鼓励他人改变，而不是强迫他们改变。他分享了个人故事、科学研究和精神智慧，阐述了人类行为的复杂性，以及为什么改变常常难以捉摸。他强调了承认问题和承担责任的区别，指出许多人承认需要改变，但承担责任——为自己的行为对他人造成的影响承担全部责任并制定具体的改进计划——要困难得多。没有这种更深层次的自我意识和承诺，持久的改变就无法实现。他还提供了在与似乎抗拒改变的人相处时，可以提供的实用建议。他概述了表明某人真正准备好改变的关键迹象，包括自我意识、责任感和真正想要改进的愿望。他还强调了耐心和同理心的重要性，提醒听众改变往往是一个循序渐进的过程，充满了挫折，以及在旧行为和新行为之间的反复波动。

Deep Dive

Chapters
This episode explores the complexities of personal change, addressing the common question of whether people can truly transform. It delves into the science and psychology of habits, behaviors, and mindsets, examining the timeframes and challenges involved in making lasting changes.
  • Changing habits takes 18-254 days (average 66).
  • Adapting to change takes ~90 days.
  • Societal norms can take 30+ years to shift.
  • Core personality traits are harder to change than habits.
  • Change is non-linear, with oscillations between old and new behaviors.

Shownotes Transcript

Have you ever struggled to change a habit?

Do you think forcing someone to change ever works?

Today, Jay dives deep into one of the most frequently asked questions: Can people really change? Drawing from a mix of personal stories, scientific research, and spiritual wisdom, Jay sheds light on the complexities of human behavior, how change unfolds, and why it can often seem so elusive.

One of the key insights Jay offers is the distinction between acknowledgment and accountability. Many people acknowledge they need to change, but accountability—taking full responsibility for how their actions impact others and making a concrete plan to improve—is much harder to achieve. Without this deeper level of self-awareness and commitment, lasting change remains out of reach.

Jay provides practical advice for those navigating relationships with people who seem resistant to change. He outlines key signs to look for that indicate someone is truly ready to change, including self-awareness, accountability, and a genuine desire to improve. He also stresses the importance of patience and empathy, reminding listeners that change is often a gradual process, filled with setbacks and oscillations between old and new behaviors.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to encourage change without forcing it

How to help someone become self-aware

How to support someone’s change process

How to communicate about change in relationships

How to accept that change must come from within

Patience, empathy, and an understanding of the complexities of human behavior are key to supporting both ourselves and others in the pursuit of meaningful evolution. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:37 Is There Someone In Your Life You Wish Would Change?

04:24 Core Personality Traits Are Difficult to Change

07:46 Signs that Someone is Likely to Change

08:25 #1: They Take Accountability and Has Self-Awareness

10:18 #2: They Must Have the Motivation to Change

14:19 Change Doesn’t Happen Right Away

16:59 Signs that Someone is Changing

18:57 How a Community Can Trigger Change

21:30 How Do You Start a Healthy Conversation with Your Partner?

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