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cover of episode What We Don’t Talk About: Raising Older Kids

What We Don’t Talk About: Raising Older Kids

2024/10/31
logo of podcast We Can Do Hard Things

We Can Do Hard Things

Key Insights

Why is raising older kids more challenging than raising younger ones?

Older kids have their own lives and personalities, making it harder to discuss their issues without revealing too much. It becomes lonely as parents can't openly share their experiences.

Why do older kids start viewing their parents differently?

As kids grow, they encounter different families and learn about the world, leading them to see their parents as fallible humans rather than perfect figures.

Why does Glennon feel the need to constantly explain her parenting decisions to her older kids?

She fears losing her identity as a parent and wants to ensure her kids see her as a good mother with good judgment, maintaining her role in their lives.

Why does Glennon feel scared and panicked about her kids' independence?

She feels responsible for their safety and well-being in a world she views as dangerous, leading to overprotective behavior and constant worry.

Why is it important for parents to avoid needing their kids' validation?

Needing validation can make kids feel suffocated and prevent them from wanting a relationship with their parents. It's healthier for parents to be a steady, non-needy resource.

Why does Glennon feel a mix of emotions as her kids grow up?

She is amazed by their growth and beauty but also feels a loss of control and a need to redefine her identity beyond being a parent.

Why might kids choose to live on the opposite coast from their parents?

They might seek different environments or cultures that align more with their identity and interests, reflecting the generational shift in lifestyle choices.

Why is it important for parents to recognize their own growth alongside their kids' growth?

Recognizing personal growth helps parents understand that they too were evolving while raising their kids, fostering self-compassion and reducing the pressure to be perfect.

Chapters

Glennon, Abby, and Amanda discuss the challenges of transitioning from parenting young kids to older kids, emphasizing the loneliness and difficulty in finding a community for support.
  • Parenting older kids is lonely as their lives become their own and parents can't openly discuss their experiences.
  • Parents feel the need to stay in their own experience to respect their children's privacy.

Shownotes Transcript

What We Don’t Talk About: Raising Older Kids

Glennon, Abby and Amanda discuss the nuances and complexities of being parents to older children. 

Discover: 

  • Glennon’s experience losing herself in parenting 

  • Amanda recalls the moment she saw her Dad as a human being 

  • How to support your kid’s individuation

  • Finding belonging outside of the parental role

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