Key Insights
What is the 'abyss' that Glennon discusses, and how does it relate to her life?
The 'abyss' is a metaphorical space Glennon describes as the edge of a cliff with a deep, swirling, and sparkly sea of purple on the side. She has always felt like she's walking on this cliff, using various coping mechanisms to avoid falling into what she thought was insanity. Recently, she has come to realize that the abyss is not insanity but life itself, representing being fully human and present without protective barriers.
How did Glennon's perception of her child's soccer tournament reflect her internal state?
Glennon felt overwhelmed by the vulnerability and muchness of the soccer tournament, where parents' hopes, stresses, and love for their children were palpable. This experience mirrored her internal struggle with feeling overwhelmed by life's intensity and the muchness of being fully present and human.
What realization did Glennon have about her parenting as her children grew older?
Glennon realized that her need to control and protect her children was less about ensuring their happiness and more about her own fear of losing control. She felt relieved when she saw her son thriving with his friends, understanding that his belonging and joy could come from other sources beyond her immediate control.
How does Glennon describe the transition from being on the cliff to being in the abyss?
Glennon describes the transition as letting go of all her coping mechanisms and protective strategies, feeling like she has jumped off the cliff into the abyss. This new state is messier, more overwhelming, and confusing but also more real and alive, allowing her to metabolize all emotions and experiences fully.
What metaphor does Dr. Dan Siegel use to explain the balance between chaos and rigidity?
Dr. Dan Siegel uses the metaphor of a river with two banks: one representing chaos and the other rigidity. The goal is to find a balance in the flow of the river, where one is not too chaotic or too rigid, allowing for a flexible and adaptive life experience.
How does Glennon's experience with motion sickness relate to her broader life changes?
Glennon's motion sickness, which she attributes to early menopause, symbolizes her feeling of being out of control and overwhelmed, much like her transition into the abyss. It highlights her vulnerability and the physical manifestation of her emotional and psychological state.
What does Glennon believe is the key to reclaiming one's humanity?
Glennon believes the key is to identify and remove the barriers or walls that were built to protect oneself from threats in early life. These barriers often stem from cultural and familial norms that suppress certain aspects of human experience, and reclaiming one's humanity involves embracing and integrating these disallowed parts of oneself.
Chapters
- The abyss is described as a swirly, purple, sparkly sea that has always called to Glennon.
- Glennon's job has been to stay on the cliff, using various strategies to avoid falling into the abyss.
- The abyss is now understood as life itself, not insanity.
Shownotes Transcript