cover of episode Personal Finance Means Balancing Intensity With Intentionality

Personal Finance Means Balancing Intensity With Intentionality

2024/11/4
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The Ramsey Show

Key Insights

Why is Chris struggling with balancing his financial goals and personal fulfillment?

Chris has achieved financial independence but feels unfulfilled as he expected it to fix deeper personal issues. He thought financial success would feel different and fix him from the inside out, but it hasn't.

What advice does John give Chris about managing his money and finding personal fulfillment?

John advises Chris to create a budget line for spending on himself, taking himself out to eat, and investing in experiences with others. He suggests finding a group of guys to start doing life with and meeting monthly to hold each other accountable.

How does Jade suggest Chris address the voices in his head that criticize him?

Jade suggests Chris spend time identifying whose voices are in his head and challenge them. He should ask if these voices are making healthy choices or if they are coming from a place of scarcity and fear.

What is the key issue Matt is facing regarding his retirement contributions?

Matt is unsure whether to contribute to a traditional 401(k) with a match or a Roth 401(k) due to potential tax implications and the backdoor Roth conversion strategy.

How does John advise Matt on his retirement contribution strategy?

John advises Matt to start with the traditional 401(k) match if available, then consider the Roth 401(k). He also mentions the backdoor Roth conversion as a potential strategy but emphasizes the importance of matching contributions first.

What dilemma is the caller from New Orleans facing regarding his mortgage payments?

The caller is unsure whether to continue paying an extra $500 per month towards his mortgage or to enjoy some of the fruits of his labor and reduce the intensity of his payments.

How does Jade suggest the caller find a balance between paying down the mortgage and enjoying life?

Jade suggests the caller consider how long it took to achieve financial stability and whether they want to continue the intense pace. She advises them to enjoy life a bit more and not sweat the small stuff, suggesting they can chill out a little bit with their mortgage payments.

What is the caller in Ohio considering doing with an older gentleman's business offer?

The caller in Ohio is considering taking over an older gentleman's business, possibly through a structured payment plan where he would work and pay the profits back to the seller until the business is fully paid for.

Why does John advise against the caller taking on the business deal as proposed?

John advises against the deal because the caller is young and lacks experience in running a business. He suggests the caller start their own business to learn the ropes with lower stakes before taking on a high-risk deal.

What concerns does Maggie have about discussing their wealth with their children?

Maggie is concerned that telling their 16-year-old daughter about their wealth will make her materialistic and lose focus on the value of hard work and financial responsibility.

How does Jade suggest Maggie approach discussing their financial situation with their children?

Jade suggests Maggie discuss their financial plan and how the money will be distributed over time, tied to specific life events and responsibilities. This approach ensures the children understand the money is for specific purposes and not a free-for-all.

What financial dilemma does Eric, the 21-year-old barber, face?

Eric is torn between buying a new BMW or investing more aggressively in his business and other investments to further his financial goals.

Why does Jade advise Eric against buying a BMW and suggest he focus on his investments?

Jade advises against the BMW because Eric hasn't fully learned how to manage his money properly. She suggests he continue investing aggressively and sell his rental properties in Ohio to focus on his financial growth.

What is David's concern about his upcoming mortgage closing?

David is concerned about his high mortgage interest rate and whether he should put more money down to reduce the loan amount, despite his loan officer advising against it.

How does John advise David to approach his mortgage decision?

John advises David to put as much money down as possible to reduce the mortgage amount and ensure he can still afford the payments if he loses his job. He suggests solving for peace by taking out the smallest mortgage possible to cover emergencies.

What is Susana's main financial challenge?

Susana's main financial challenge is managing her $41,000 student loan debt while also pursuing other financial goals like homeownership.

What does John suggest Susana do with her $30,000 savings to tackle her debt?

John suggests Susana use the $30,000 to pay off a significant portion of her student loans and credit card debt, leaving her with a much smaller amount to pay off quickly, which could make her debt-free by February.

Chapters

Chris struggles with balancing financial intensity and intentionality after achieving financial independence. The hosts discuss the importance of finding a balance between enjoying life and being financially responsible.
  • Chris feels allergic to spending money after achieving financial independence.
  • The hosts emphasize the need to find a balance between financial goals and enjoying life.
  • Creating a budget for personal spending and investing in relationships is crucial.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

Hey guys, that this Christmas we're giving away cash, so into the ramsey five thousand dollar Christmas cash give away for your chance to win big this holiday season. Go to rain these solutions dot com slash, give away to enter now.

Live from the headquarters of rams y solutions. It's the ramsey show where we help people build wealth, get out of debt, do work that they love and have actual amazing relationships. I'm john alone, only joined by j on night before the election.

I'm going to have popcorn and i'm going to have drinks. I'm treating IT like it's a whole event.

I'm going to the woods and we are turning off the internet. I'm to put my hands and feet and things that are real like dirt. And lee.

I mean, here's why treating IT like entertainment because regardless of what happens, i'm going on with life and i'm going to do the things that I know to do and i'm going to love my family and i'm going to go to work like jay.

I don't think it's been enough time in the news because the pinning on what happens amErica is either gonna .

make IT .

or it's over. So a less yeah, there some .

popcorn you out in the woods so you have, you know.

the way back that day. We'll need them taking your calls live triple ate eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. Triple ate eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. Let's roll out to indian apple is inDiana and talk to Chris. What up, Chris?

good.

Fortunate to .

be where i'm at. And i'm just trying to struggling with that seven a little bit where I feel like I have been able to pay off the health and forty one years old and a another place where I can start some good stuff for me and forever body around me. Um i'm struggling with that and I I don't exactly know how to do that where I just keep hiding my money away and it's going into the stock market. And I I I don't know how to compartment alive that in counseling .

we call this the tyranny of accomplishing all your dreams because here's here's what you probably found out. You cross this finished. You don't only but any money, right? I'm you cross the finish line and you are calling court a million eight, right? And now every time you walk by the mirror, you're still you very yeah .

or over expecting and under achieving. Well, not is not even expecting .

or under achieving you doing both you you've achieved, you've expected and you've achieved is that you thought this was gna feel different, didn't you? You thought somehow IT would fix you from the inside out.

So what is IT about.

Chris? Is life that you've set up, that you don't love?

I know a little bit of a harmless and I I just feel like I I don't know exactly how to be good to myself for other people at this where i'm able to have a little bit of free income to to do some good and i'm like, well, where where does that go? This just money .

having access money absolutely sucks if you have known to share with you.

Well, I was going to ask, what was the purpose for you when you I mean, on baby step seven, that's no easier accomplishment. What LED you to do all of that in the first place?

Just kind of grain and name. My parents were really good about coaching me, and I was IT was in grain to me to save every little bit that I good and to work hard.

So was just you following directions? There wasn't really A A deeper meaning for you.

I think so. I like I, I have made life crisis.

How are you .

forty one?

You twenty one?

One.

forty one, sorry, like twenty one, you change game. Are you? Are you marry? No, no. Do you .

want to be kay someday? okay.

So what is fun look like me? And what does joy look like? What is giving look like for these days?

It's like being able to lose on the bell a little bit and I don't feel like I am loud like through so much of that where i'm just .

like keep IT two voices that Price.

Probably my own most .

of us now most of us have voices that are in our heads that we don't chAllenge. And it's important to everyone, someone else, to stop and say we do IT am having some coming beers. Who who's saying i'm a piece of crap, right? Am I making a healthy choice? No, but am I terrible? Like where is I always coming from? Whose voice is there? Chris says there's always something bad around the next corner.

嗯, who think is IT the news is that your mom is that politicians? Is that old coach of yours? Somebody has engrained in is continuing to sit on your shoulder and pump information into your head that says, if you spend this money, do you not going to happen next? Do you know? Do you know? Do you know? Do you know it's going happen next? Whose .

voices? I don't even know.

I spend some time with that because john is teaching right now. I would release, sit down and spend some time with that because he's not wrong.

So here's, here's what most people who have a scarcity mindset. This gonna sound ridiculous to the rest of the world, and I don't care. Chris, you want to pass out of this for, really.

Are you being serious about your question? All right. You're gonna have to put a budget line in.

Money I will spend on myself, money I will take myself out to eat with, and most importantly, money I will invest in taking, we doing instead with other people. Now, I am a fellow. Pepper, i'm a fellow, a scarcity minded guy.

Kay, I grew up. Money was scarce. IT was tough to come by. IT was a lot of attention in my house that is in my nervous system. So one of the rules I have when I buy a concert to, I could go to concerts by myself all day long. And I know it's not good for me and it's not fun, but I do anyway.

So now when I buy a concert ticket, i'll buy two or I buy four a because i've been blessed and I want friends to go with me and have in a afford, who cares? I want to take a group of guys. I want to go a blast. See, you am saying, so you have to put that in your budget. You have to hold yourself accountable the same way you hold yourself accountable to get not a debt is the same level of discipline in the same .

awkwardness because I C part of that is that all feels kind of awkward at this point where i'm like, well.

nothing good, nothing good you're going accomplish as an awkward to .

first .

you should go back and listen. The very first time I answered a call on in the show, like .

redefines .

awkward home.

He still sends that email.

still sends that.

Do you have a couple of guys in the an apple as you you can start meeting with once a week.

a month.

monthly? That's my chAllenge to you. My chAllenge to you is to find a group of guys that you can start doing life with.

And by the way, most romantic relationships come from one of two places. You run into somebody work, or you run into somebody that your body says how you need to meet my friends. So and so are my friends, friends.

So and so a lot of IT comes on the internet to that. Don't do that. Meet people in real life.

Hang out with your boys. We make that commitment. Jade, what am I missing here?

I don't think you're missing anything. I think the key here is money is supposed to be and when you x that part out of IT, it's IT kind of is like quite that I do all this. What was that all ah and so I think that's the part that's missing.

Most of us have some sort of relational connection to our money and why we spend the way we spend and why we develop the habits that we develop. And IT was was kind of interesting because when you were talking about IT really just sounded like like someone told me to do this. So I just when I ended IT and you never found your personal and relational connection to what IT is and why you're doing IT, but john laid out a beautiful plan for you. And I love that.

Here's here's what thinks about my life. Statistically speaking, in maybe I got forty five years left, maybe .

dark.

I, forty five years left, mony is going to allow me to stay alive and to be super generous and to have some great mom. And after that, i'll be gone. right? And so what are we actually going to do with this stuff going to serve each other? We're going take of our neighbors. We're going to have a lot of life.

Yes, that's why says where your money is, your heart is also.

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Welcome back to the rams. You show triple ate, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five, taking your calls alive. Guess what? Christmas will be here before, you know? IT, yeah. And that means RAM epic Christmas deals happening right now.

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If you're listening on youtube over the podcast, you can click the link in the description, check out. I was got to chat down and talk to matt. What up math, how we do him.

Hi is an honor to talk to you. Jane.

john is an honor. Talk to you in what's up?

thanks. You are teaching what happened up, baby. Yeah, sorry. Eight hundred nine, two, three day, one hundred ninety thousand households. Income is three hundred k of which is for my job and hundred of which is from my wife.

I know it's .

lots of dollars.

What do you do for living?

I'm as offer engineer. My wife is an amazing nurse.

Wow, you're debt for one hundred and ninety two thousand. You paid off. How long does that take?

We started in marching this year. One hundred and twenty .

eight was an we ARM didn't OK OK. Wow, wow. congratulations. I'm happy for you.

This is good. So much. okay. So as we get very determined rect back on, we wanted know where the back door raw fall into this. We've heard its match while traditional, we've also heard to match out traditional in four, five sets.

Um so he falls in the same category. You're right. That match beats roth beats traditional.

So if you have a match with the traditional foo one k you would start there. If you had a rough for one k, you could start there. Which one is yours?

Um we both have a match. Um we just won't sure if if the back door sell into the same order because of the tax that we'd have defeated to open like the post tax and convert. So IT would be slightly over the fifteen percent. So this double check in minute was still match back to .

a lot in the intradiscal would still do IT that way. I do do IT that way. Let me just put like that. Does I answer your question?

IT sure does. Then .

congratulations, 钉 钉。 Yeah thank you for that, you bet thanks for the cloud.

Do I to listen, we talk a lot on the podcast, like on the youtube. You're the one actually running this out on a data day basis is making a budget looking at your spouse and you'll saying yes to know and we're in or or not IT like you will make this thing work i'm proud of you do. Hey, why have you can asked you a que question that is totally unrelated to anything? Thugs up, thugs down on A I we doomed.

Or are we going to be alright, you're soft engineers. You're the smart st. guy. Know on this topic.

Oh, man. And I I think we're going to be OK. Uh, I have no worries actually finding the RAM c uh, you know.

I know other so they take your job and find yourself ill in a coin field, or coin field are going to be okay. That can be a OK. Do listen to that guy.

See, jane were going to be all right. It's all gonna out for us in the end. It's got to a new orleans la viana and talked to act with sub jacket.

What's going on, guys? Thank you.

You got to do what's up.

Ah just a question about uh ten of bb steps four thousand and six right now. Um and i'm currently putting uh in next five hundred dollars a month towards the mortgage my life I bought IT a house that in march this year, we put fifteen percent down on IT and then put in five hundred down every month since we started to make a payment. Just if I should be doing more .

IT depends on IT depends on if you want to listen that five hundred that you're doing extra every month is just busting your immediate ation schedule in the face like mike tyson, you're gonna done with this before, you know, IT.

And so at the end of the day, this is about you being intentional uh, with your wife, you guys sitting down to a saying, how much do we want to do IT? You know you're at the point where you should enjoy some of the fruit of your labor or bit. And I I can't tell you what that number is, but you can sit down with your wife and decide i'd like that you already have a regular a kind rythm of how often that you pay.

And at this point, it's about margin. How much margin do you want to put towards this and how much do you want to put towards living and enjoying your life? I guess that's .

the problem that i'm having is finding that line between, uh, how much do I want to enjoy, uh, what we accomplish versus how much, you know, how quickly do we want to pay down the house.

Okay, then let me tell you a story, because I the best way to think of this is just in context of your life. So for my husband, sami, a IT took us seven and a half to ten years to do the first three baby steps. okay? And those are the most intense baby steps.

So by the time we got to baby step six, we were like you, we've already spent a decade going hard in the pain, so we do less. Like for us, that line is a lot less. It's like enjoy our life a little bit more. We're still being intentional over here, but we're not sweating to do this.

So I like to ask people, listen, how long did you take you to do the first three baby steps? Because if IT didn't take you wrong, if you had to win flowery so you sold something fine yeah, if you want to go a little bit more intensely now, that's fine. But if you've already spent years with your head down, there is a part of that that I want you to take a breather in joy life. Does that make sense?

yeah. IT does. Because IT took me probably about three to four years because I was starting uh, a new career when I started the process. And so IT just over time as I started to make more and more money um the promotions and stuff, uh IT took a while because that can have much margin to begin with. And um so I get now it's like a cash for the cash flow. The wedding in the honeymoon yes, all of that guess now it's it's finding that you know that happy middle ground of still doing intentional enough but enjoying uh, everything we've accomplished yes.

So after let's let's keep the five hundred dollars going after that, what would you say your margin is for? For fun money like after you've done all the things that make you a financially responsible adult.

So uh IT ranges and actually aligned uh with your local power company is so uh IT just depends on the overtime. Uh, someone that could be after everything sand done, we've got a thousand to fifty. Sometimes IT could be more okay.

good. I think as long as you are, you guys are prioritising your values as a family at this point. If you guys value, uh, getting away just you and your wife once a quarter and you're doing that, if you value taking a nice family vacation every year and you're doing that, I think as long as you're doing the things that you value as fun things, family things, memorable things, that the things that feel you make, you feel like what i'm doing, the time i'm spending on my work is worth IT, right? Because you want to feel like i'm working for something and now it's worth IT as long as as you're doing those things. Uh if you have money above and be on that yeah put on on .

the mortgage .

above beyond five hundred j let me see this .

um in act this is to you to everybody listening but those from those seasons for me if eban float yeah there have been seasons when I take a break right in english bin seasons when I I wake up and like I can't note anybody anything. I really get insane again yes and for me it's the same as yesterday I was feeling extra, Stacy, about the election of I was in cover and I literally made this choice.

I am gonna feel bad tonight, and i'm going to buy a bunch of junk food right now. yeah. And so my rule of thumb, I don't everyone to fall off the wagon, but occasionally i'll parked the wagon, climb down and roll around in the mud, and then i'll climb back in.

think we need that as even I think.

I think he is intentional. You like you and saying, like a decade, we are intentionally gona slow this thing down and we live our lives now. yes. And on the other side, for the for me, i'm going to intentionally don't guess on this thing because I am losing sleep over and gone, right? But I think intentionality that mag.

you're exactly right. I think you're talking to everybody such a relative thing. There is that moment where that terminator two red light turns on in my brain and i'm like we're dropping all the extra money on the mortgage and there's I need new liners in this game right now.

I moma needs to live that is a very real thing when you're in baby steps four, five and six um just it's okay. IT doesn't have to be balls to the wall. You can chill out a little bit.

a little bit as the rap show will be right back.

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Well, come back to the rain to show i'm john dolly, joined by jade, or shall taking your calls on money in life and relationships in work all of triple, eight, eight, two, five, five, two to five got to date in ohio and talk to cane. Was of cane.

Hi.

how's you going? Do you alright when I have .

a you pretty good. I got propose this offer to take over business from older gentman who wants to required um I would not have enough put IT all down but I was just one in recent posts would be if that OK uh.

were you working in the business before? How did you come across this offer?

Um I have actually reach out to do some private work um to facebook. The guy also has some rentals and h he needed some employees and yes, I have got my E P A certification for fragile ation, and I was a pommer for three years for .

a construction company. So what's the business?

It's A H dack employment business. Um kind of a small er town but uh the three and collected together and there's a quite a Better work uh, for that company.

Okay, how's IT doing? I mean, have you looked at the numbers and is IT profitable? And if so, how well are they doing?

Um no, that's that's kind of what I was. Uh, another thing I anted to get into, I had h went cross that bridge completely um i'm gonna shadow on tomorrow and see how it's going. I just um if IT is profitable, I I did all this research um maybe you can tell me if I researched right but roughly two to three times the business early profit is usually what a business like that would go for. Okay being a small yeah .

you're right about that.

It's present values. They called, okay, what I would not do is go on to a local bank and get alone and by the sky out or I went go call the S B A.

Take out S B A.

This guy um said that, uh guy that he originally started from the dinner is a private deal. I think he said tony grand down and skin the profits off to him yeah as payment until the business was paid for and then IT was essentially his that's that's not a .

bad idea if you just say, hey, I want to receive a salary from the business, but you're paying all the profits back to the cell er until he receives the full amount you could structure .

or something like that because that way you're not in debt to him. You you'll have made a salary for your work over exact number of years. And let's say you have to walk away, the economy implodes or whatever happens, you won't be stuck with a worthless business.

And yet the bank is still calling the note on your long. okay. Do you know .

saying this is also Better for the cellars because this is Better for the cell? Er because anybody who's gonna come in with maybe cash or credit or some sort of investors probably gone to low ball them because they have dead on IT as opposed to you who's saying, hey, I value the business that you're in, let's work together, keep the valuation that you have. Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense. And I just kind of wanted to make sure that I didn't go down the wrong raby hole of looking into this.

I'm going to make up completely a completely fabricate numbers. okay? So don't use my math, just can get the spirit of what i'm saying.

Let's say, after all expenses were paid, this business pay sitting on three hundred and fifty thousand knowledge cash in every year. You've ready done. You're appreciating assets. You put money aside. You've got all that stuff taking care of. You ve paid on your bills in you to decide i'm to take on one hundred K A year as a salary as the owner, as the president of this company.

I'm going to pay him and let's say we decided on a million millar sale Price, i'm going to give him two hundred hundred and fifty thousand dollars over four years and at the year four, this will this will be signed over to me all in the whole thing. So that's different than going to a bank. And then I need a million dollar of loan, one hundred, and i'm going to write him a million dollar check and then i'm going to hope that I make that back over the next four years.

Okay, in island is hope the market doesn't crash in that particular business.

Let's say let's take back here. Here's worse case scenario for you and for him, worse k scenario is the market crashes in two years. Nobody wants a plum anymore here, which by the way, we're in that world.

I don't want to be in that world, right? I think we're all was going to put right? But let's britain, that happens and that happens in two years.

You will have made one hundred grand a year as the president or CEO everyone to call yourself of of this company. He will have made two hundred and fifty granted year. So he he would have received five hundred thousand dollars.

okay.

And and that's under the made up numbers i'm just using then IT. All falls apart.

all goes away.

And you come to him and you say, hey, i'm turning this contract up and walking away and he says, i'm going to see you. He still has a half a million dollars that he's earned over two years. You have been paid for your wages and there's not a bank saying, hey, I want my money back.

right? Do you get the difference?

And now he may look at you and say, go jump in a lake. I'm not doing this. We're going to structure a dollar, man, and you're going to own this dollar.

Matt jay and I would just tell you, four years, five years, six years, who knows what the world's going to look like? It's another presidential election away. Me put IT that way.

Who knows what the world look like? So I would not, I would not put myself on the hook like that downed. Am.

right, right? And I that kind of really sacrifice my answer ARM. I was looking towards IT, but I just you know, I I I am doing the baby steps. I haven't particularly went through IT, but I do have enough for six months wages and I am investing eleven person.

What is what is the amount of the business? What is he selling IT for?

Uh, like I said, I hadn't quite gotten any of that. Maybe I should have had that information before I called yes. Going to job shadow um tomorrow and the kind of after the day you know make sure that he is really a profitable .

I want IT not after the day I would do this for .

a little while yeah how do you can?

I'm twenty two OK.

I'm going to say something and not at you want to see IT with you okay, okay. You're wondering into what I call adult land, big boy, big girl land. Okay, OK. And that's when you say things like I need to see the last four years of your books, the last five years of your books. I need to see all the outstanding debts, and you see any notes you have called and i'm going to a have an account look .

over at all and I I can I am room the the canoe back for a minute. Everything that john said in everything that i've said about structuring the deal is accurate. I don't like this for you. I'm just going to come out and say that because I want to go on record as saying for you at your age um i'd like you to get your feet wet, starting your own business first before you just up and take on something that there are so many learning curves. I think um in business and I would love for you to learn those with lower stakes before you come in and learn them with high stakes where there's really a lot of money on the line and there's um a time yeah .

and there's a time for .

where you're having to kind of yeah like if this is the salary that i'm paying back, i'm getting my salary, i'm paying him back. There is going to be a term to that and you are going to have to make good on that depending on how you structure IT. So mama jay doesn't like this for you yet.

I'm just going to say that. So let me ask you, what do you think what's the difference gonna be between you running out and get your own business?

Um the the the crying tail market is is pretty stiff um reason why the oil than him. So the speak is because he takes service costs. So the first goes down at midnight. He will be there at midnight in his one man show. So that's kind of how this business proposition came about.

But the thing about IT, here's a thing you can be amazing at your job. You can know h fact very well. You can be good with customers.

IT doesn't mean you're good at running a business. yeah. And that's the part that I want you to learn on your own first.

Are you are you an organized person? Are you good with Operations? Are you good with logistics? S, are you good with handling? Uh, you know, all of those in and out payroll like, are you good with that stuff?

Because if it's a one man show, IT IT is requiring you to wear all those heads and the truth is no one gets IT all right the first time. Like there is quite a learning curve there. And I like I said before, I love for you'll .

learn that with lower stakes indued. I'm going to rea recount on my support too. Here's why this is a you just said this a one man shop .

uh his wife actually uh write down the payroll and they take .

IT to an account OK employee shop so what your buying is his .

book book .

of business. You do not need to do that. You need to open up um a local facebook marketplace, adds say, I will be there twenty four, seven, three, sixty five, midnight two A M I will be there and you're going to get a few calls.

You're going to show up at midnight and you're going to start your own business. You don't buy somebody's clients from them in this one man shop come away and you can do that. I wouldn't do IT if there's a big company, maybe, but recounting on my offer, I am too.

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That's a Better help. H E L P dot com slash colony. Welcome back to the rams.

The show tripled, eight, two, five, five, two to five. We are on election eve. Indeed, do you want me to say more?

No, I just like to feel attention.

People will drive and squeeze eze in their, they're little bit tired. You are they are doing construction work. And there just turn the room .

little bit harder.

I shouldn't wit I know could be the last podcast ever produce um the remote show question the days brought you buy why refine that talk about there's a great transition of that. James trains is on our transitions.

I think I nail that when James, why retry refinances defaulted private student loans that other places won't touch, and that gives you a low fixed rate loan built just for you should risk load her payment from two thousand dollars to six hundred and eighty box a month with why? Ref, I, you can do something similar. Go to A Y.

Ref, I dot com flash ramsey today to learn more, that's the letter. Y R E F Y dot com. Slash ramsey, this may not be available in all states.

That's a big deal. Okay, today's question comes from Maggie in utah. SHE says.

My husband and I are in our early amid fifties, and he plans to retire at sixty. I'm not sure when I will retire. We have about three point five million in assets. Our children are sixteen and twenty one.

When is the right time to sit down with one or both of our kids to go over our assets in case something happens to us? I think our twenty one year old son would not be affected by the news and go on about his life as usual. If we tell her daughter who's sixteen, i'm afraid SHE will get stars in her eyes about all the things SHE could buy.

We don't plan to die soon, but you never know what can happen in life. Yeah, I think that's a great question. I wonder if it's all really gonna based on what you what your will is in what you plan to do with this money. I mean, obviously I would not have this set up, um john, that if something happened like if something happened to sammer or I the kids aren't getting all of this money split IT is something that will come in increments at certain age points with other certain things in intact like today vers this point you can't be yond drugs to get this money right and so i'm not sure what your plane is, Maggie but I want to make sure that's not the case because in eighteen year old, suddenly getting a million dollars is doesn't usually go well.

Yeah, i'm reading this as she's wondering when do we sit down until at six and twenty one year old that we have three half million, thousand and assets and there's all going to divide this up.

I my to my point that i'm trying to make is I want to make sure they have the right plane in place first so that when they do tell them it's it's not hey. And by the way, when you're eighteen, you're going to a million dollars. So I think the way to avoid stars in the eyes is to say, here's what's going to have, like if if we were the past way, here's what would happen.

You would be, did the money to pay for school and at this ag, be given the money to have a downpayment on a home, and at this A, G, D, be given in o and walk through IT so that at every point in time it's you're receiving this money and here's what it's for as opposed to and you're just going to be screw mcduck rollin and bills, right? So I think it's all about how you have this set up, how you speak about IT. And truly, all of this is about what you've been teaching over a time, right from the time there, eight years old, you know, or Younger, about how to handle money.

And so the hope is that the sixteen year old will have some level love OK, you know? And as he gets older, even more level love. Okay, this is, I have to be a manager here. This is not the key to unlock my whole life. And I get to be irresponsible with this.

Yeah, I, I, I think the age appropriate is the words that manage here. And quite honestly, I would not sit down, apply in depends on your twenty one year old. I think I would tell my sixteen year old that, hey, if we ever, if mom and that something happened to dad night or mom and I, you're going to go live with so and so yeah, until you try eighteen and we've put together some, some things, they would sell the house so that you can afford to go to school and what else like you'll sell the house. Yes, and you'll be taken care of and what .

cross over I A little we ever passed .

away and you want to keep this partial rent house will talk about that, but you'll let us know and we'll begin to slowly baLance those things out. Yeah, my fourteen year old knows if mom and I were to die, we have some things that would sell that we take care of schooling and he'd going to live with so and so ah my eight year old, you're going to be going to live a silence, right? Like it's just age specific.

I think Rachel cruz says share don't scare. It's right.

And I like that. So one day moment I are gonna die like, that's a lot, right? Yeah, let them know. Hey, we have a plan if something ever happened.

Yeah, you good.

And we want you to just be able to be sad. And then Rachel and David been pretty open about history. They didn't know the full extent.

They knew moment they were well off. They did know really, dave rains well off until they had graduated. They were married and they were moving on with their lives.

And then they SAT him down. But they had a detailed plan and then there there's some different levels of specific you get to there. So um sure don't scared and developing appropriate. Um I don't know that the dollar, dollar, dollar amount. I don't do you ever to sit down and go through each detail unless you wanted say, like kate, this house right now worth about this.

I think about a certain age. I probably would you like depending on .

your wealth twenty one.

twenty five? Yeah I I mean todays this point they kind of they have .

a rathmore for them.

It's but like depending on what that is, maybe it's every couple of years you're like as you see big changes in your wealth are in your state, whatever that is. Um IT might be worth IT to do that, but I think as much transparency as you can at the right age is a good thing.

Yes, kids want to know or we're going to be OK and are we going to be taking care of I think she's right to think, yeah, if you tell six old.

hey.

if we can get one point seven years old, you had your mind I got to each tone and talk to eric. What up, erica? We do hello, what's up?

What's so guys? Um so i'm twenty one. I make a hundred and ten. I'm going to make a hundred and ten k this year. okay.

And my problem, I have a twenty one year old car that isn't running IT was used to do so because of that, i'm looking at a something I want to B W pretty. I, okay, i'm stuck on. If I should give in and enjoy a newer well, it's going to use, I use a new vehicle.

It's a point point one. okay.

Or if I should keep the money because I would cash you out, keep the money to further business since I do invest pretty .

aggressively had say .

what person are you putting away um investments probably at .

least off your growth thirty percent, thirty percent. Okay, how much will the bw cost?

Uh after taxes IT should come out about twenty nine thirty O K thirty k OK.

Um and tell us more about your the rest of your financial snapshot. I want to know how long you've been making this income. I want to know if you have any debt.

and I want to know your living situation. Okay, so last year I made one hundred and three. This year one ten.

Um what do you doing here?

I barbers.

wow. Are you one of the barbers that I see on the internet that makes hair out of no hair that you like?

You can I could.

wow. Anyway, i've seen some things on .

the cut here.

I'm sorry.

you make a hundred and ten grand cut in hair.

Yeah.

I love this country.

Way to go. So so you're on the optic. That's that's really, really great in its just your business um you've been investing thirty percent. You have any debt.

Um I did go on a trip recently iran of the credit card.

Oh, I don't like you. Okay, how much did you run up?

It's like forty five hundred.

Okay.

that's a lot trip to go on.

I want to depend.

Okay, any .

other .

dead?

Uh, no, I do have to invest in poverty in ohio.

How can we forget about?

Oh, okay.

So you are just to remind people you're in texas and so told me about these investment properties and ohio. Oh, wait, i'm wait a minute. I'm against the clock. I want to tell you what my thoughts for IT is for this. I don't think you've learned enough about how to manage your money properly yet.

I think you're doing really good financially with your income, but I want you to learn more about how to manage dead and the right way to buy real estate. For me, you buying this car right now feels reckless because you haven't learned everything you need, and it's a slippery slope for you. So i'd say no right now. Keep diving into the rams I material .

Carry a man and sell those rental properties in ohio. But congratulations on to be in one hundred ten thousand thousand a year. Barber, this is the range show will be right back.

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live from the headquarters of rainy solutions just outside of national tenney is the rams show. We help people build wealth, get out of debt, find work that they love, and learn how to have great relationships and emotional and mental health. I'm john alone to joined by a great friend, jade warshaw.

We are taking your calls on election eve. Yeh, eight, two, five, five, two, five. Making bets.

Yeah, we were talking about if you had to actual cash money because you what you can bet on the election, which is sick and sad, but if you had to put cash money on the line, who do you think would win? IT was an .

interesting comment in back in where the personalities where offices are come on and Rachel cruiser back there and there look up like a Christmas story. Y, this is like super ten in the one. And for me, i'm gonna get off the show today and head to the woods, and i'm not going to come out until the whole thing is over. So it's the opposite of that for me. So I want to make sure my chickens are okay and that there's still .

producing eggs. In case I finites watch and I will, we will all .

be OK course .

we be OK .

less the other candidate ins and then IT .

all comes down.

Let's got to screen o california and talk to David. What's up? Where there you? What's up, David?

Hi dad. hi. Thank you so much for you. Get my phone call. But anyway, my question is sist i'm about to close my s girl and the turn interest rate that i'm locked in is really high is the six point eight seven five OK and um um and my loan officer um tells me, hey don't worry about IT about you know two years online interest going to go down you gonna be financial that's fine um and I want to put in I I have the potential to put in a lot of money like a fun because yeah on the calculation from your show um teaches me teaches me how how these things works right and so it's just mathematical yeah and so my uh my loan so i'm shopping rong i'm shopping wrong to with two different loan officer along with my and they all wonder why would you want to put money up .

fun because they're not financial advisers. They just wanted get you win this house and they are think they're filtering IT through what they would do. A lot of people, you know, it's human nature. If you give advice, you're kind of giving advice based on what you might do.

And a lot of these own officers for homes, they most of their life is people trying to scrape together in molds to get get that two point nine, nine, nine, up to three percent that is so hard, defied people who actually save money like you. David k.

this is so I, I just want to make that on. My math is not wrong somewhere where they, so they have justice. Save your money now and wait until you refinance that, say right now I might take point eight right OK til IT. Let's IT go down to four and then put in all the money in when you refinance to a four percent and and I punting my number, I know still I won't benefit me by putting IT in later in life versus now. And even if later in life is .

so and you predict future, that's the truth. We can speculate and say here's what we think will happen. But the truth is I mean the fed lowered interest rates and I had an adverse an adverse uh, effect on the home market temporarily.

I think I think there's a lot of things that affect that. But right now, those homeloans went up just slightly. You know those interest strates.

And so you never know what's going to take place. We're in an election cycle. You don't know. I mean, I I would tend to degree yeah, I think over time, more gates are going to go down and you'll all right refinance, but you truly don't know.

You have the money here and now and you have the ability to affect how you want your mortgage to feel here and now. And so if you want to put as much down possible, I vote for that. Because when you put as much, just impossible.

Yeah, it's definitely lowering your payment. It's ensuring equity and it's kidding you to the point of payoff a lot faster. And then yeah in two years or whatever, if you want to refinance to get that lower rate, yeah.

it's up to you to do so. How much we talking here, like how much cash you sit on that you're debating .

and a little put down or not with all the minus minus my closing costs, I have about sixty five thousand dollars sitting on a side collection at only at only four percent. 有啊 还有 这个 yeah O K um so .

it's only it's only cutting .

at four percent while you know my interest rates at point eight right now。 So it's more beneficial putting in the house and set up just let me sit there at four percent.

What's the total purchase Price?

This have uh the total purchase Price uh uh is uh four eighty five and i'm putting down twenty five percent already, but I want putting more. But they're like, why why would you want do that?

I think I think they just don't understand that way of thinking. I think most people are not thinking about the idea of paying off a mortgage.

I think that the .

minimum possible to get in the houses enough for you is a lot of times where people's mind is at.

And I can I throw an alternative in there that would just so original all this for you?

David OK OK, it's a .

different calculation that I do. I am not a number of of one. I just not um i'm just not quick like dave i've said by dave, I by jail they just do math in their head.

It's amazing. I I can do that OK. Here's the different calculation I make. What job do you have? What would you do for a living?

So um I am basically um I am mean clinker .

trials in clink. Okay see you do R N A. You do research.

Yeah yeah we .

yeah okay so um let's say one of the new candidates comes in and just cuts off in age funding all the sun or does something like warp speeds IT again like trumps Operation warp speed right and suddenly dumped a bunch of money and you get to skip the third step and go straight to mark like either way, imagine your job goes away and you have to go find other work. What I would the reason I would vote to put all the money down aside from the math, and you've done the math, right? And so you're seeing IT IT would be called on code making six point whatever percent what my apr is because it's only making for in in this place and I could put a mutual fun and there is going to be the tiktok Browns.

They're like, bro, the gap, the spread, all that but you're doing the math, right? The additional layer of peace that I would solve for in my house is a non number guy is if I lost my job, but my mortgage was only two seventy five instead of three fifty, with that lower my payment enough that I could go get down the street and get a regular job and keep my home. Okay, do you? I'm saying, yeah, I do.

And so I in my house, when not taken out, mortgage a soul for peace. I care what I call IT a soul tax. I will pay two percent or four percent on.

I will pay that so that I know if I got fired or if my job went away, I could go find another job or two and keep my homes and my wife and my kids would not have to move. And I know there's there's that can be that can be stretched out. And what if you keep your sixty five grand and emergency fun, then you've got that to spend.

I get all that. If i'm going to sign up for a mortgage, I want that payment to be something that I could absorb. If I win, something happens, right? And you're in a field.

I'm in a field. Who knows what happens to us the day after tomorrow, right? And so I want to take as much risk off the table on these low level on this side of the barbell.

And that is, is my housing covered? Is my four walls covered? You have an emergency fund?

I do. Yeah.

do I so all to say, do I would sold for peace here? You've done the math. You you're right on the math. I would solve for peace and put this money down on a house and take out a small and mortgage as possible. Make the bank the least amount money possible at your expense and be able to take care of yourself if something were to happen to you.

That sound right. okay. Yeah, sounds good.

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Every dollar, every dollar.

I feel going to say that like locky, every dollar I ve got to A T, L. Landa, georgia and talk to fancy Nancy. What's up? Nancy? How i'm .

doing fine. Thank you. Thank you for taking my call. I just need some assistance. And I i'm fifty nine years old and i've been married for thirty seven years um was the state of mom and I have school LED by three kids. I am currently in divorce oh good.

I am sorry yeah .

IT was a do the emotional abuse and and marriage and he is unwilling to address any issues um and so which there's no trust and safety in our relationship. So um I have actually um been in financial peace universe today。 Um he was not involved in our finances and I beg them for three decades to get informed that he would just ignore me um although I went through financial peace in the first today and I did all the babies that um we fifty five thousand on our health which is worth about four hundred and thirty otherwise we are no .

that um .

but because we've never been on the same page with our finances, we've never really saved anything and um he'd like to eat out a lot we wasted a lot of our money but in retirement, if we were together, we were planning on using um some money that his parents west us how much .

and it's .

about eight hundred thousand right now can and later on in life he started for a one ka which has about three hundred thousand and I have a small one and we have some smaller just a but um the vast major airport, he basically told me he was .

gna .

destroy me i'm sorry IT was because yeah sorry.

destroy you financially or .

physically, I will finance he he never did that. He was just more emotional and coral and that have you .

met with the divorce the turney i'm assuming ing you're .

in proceeding now. Yes o and we're going to mediation and I just wanted advice on what to think or how to proceed because my lawyer than I think is really good you know he said, just come up with a good, Better, best options and we're gone to get together and talk some more but my has been talked about you know his salary and this inheritance being on his and I just don't know what to expect no.

I mean, not right. Yeah he's not right and he's blaster. And so here's what I would not do if he's not trustworthy in most of the other aspects of your marriage, I wouldn't suddenly go full trust on this bluster.

Okay um he trying to flexes muscles on on a situation that he is losing control of like through like sands in an hour glass right? And so I can't give you legal advice. I think your attorney um knows the laws of georgia and knows what what mediation looks like in the state of georgia.

And that's different across the board. Um but I will say from my experience that sounds about right. You laying out and saying, okay, who this looks like and what does he look like to split things and as part of the divorce I would make peace with probably we're going to sell the house and sport those .

asset and and you should .

the and get out less. Somebody wants to buy somebody else out from this house and um the insurance and the retirement accounts, those things usually get split up in some shape former fashion. And after thirty years together and you staying at home for thirty years, taking care of the household, you generally speaking and entitled to half that a state in on what's going on. But I can't give you any details on that. I think you're turning is right on though.

I was going to ask about the house like I don't wanted stay there and he was thinking about buying me out. And I just .

didn't know .

if that's a good option and we should just sell IT. And I mean, if you wants .

to buy you out, that's great, you'd still get .

your cut regarding you.

And then I mean, essentially based off of what you've said, you didn't say how much is in your four one. K, do you know off the top of your hand?

Well, I never really worked. So yeah, it's like sixteen .

thousand. Cy, I want you to change that language. play. okay. You, you, you built and held together a home for three decade. okay.

I want you to stop saying that you don't have any economic value in this arrangement because you didn't con punch a clock in office. You've been working your bottle off for thirty years. You've been keeping the fine you can, keeping the books.

You've been trying to manage the emotional safety of at home for thirty years. Dave gave me a line. He he gave me A A quote that has really proven instructive here. Okay, once somebody .

files for divorce.

the marriage is effectively over. IT is now a business arrangement. We're untangling business assets in the reason you hired attorney is because they will come in, they will know the law, they will be a hired gun on your behalf of their job, and they do not bring thirty years of emotional pain and hurt into the negotiations.

So I want you to let your attorney do their job. Okay, kay want you to keep your integrity about you. And sometimes attorneys want to settle this thing for as low as possible because they take their cut either way.

And some will look at you and say, I do right by you. Kay, learn, do their job, but I want you to throw your head back through your shoulder back. This is a, this is a business deal now, and we're going to do what's right.

And you constantly telling yourself, I didn't even even worked for thirty years. This is not true. You even working a lot? Ay.

yes. A lot.

cool.

yes. Yeah, yeah.

Can I tell you something else? Can I give you a home work assignment? How old are? Are you right now?

Fifty nine?

okay. I want you to write a letter to sixty three year old Nancy.

I don't .

want you to tell her that you're doing hard work right now so that he will be safe. You'll have a place to live as hers and you'll have some economics stability and that because of the hard work in the grieving, you're gonna right now, she's going to okay all right and what you imagine her having a cup of coffee in a safe house so right about our kids round by some goofy dog because you're not a cat persson and I can tell that think god right you're a doctor um but I want you to begin a picture x healing when you come home not your chest tightening up okay OK cause that's been happened to you for too long right? Yeah yeah we're done with that now. I'm so sorry that this happened to let your turn to do their job yeah, I miss anything, jane. I think .

you're going to come out of this OK with the assets that you guys talked about. You're going to be alright. You're going to need to work with an advisor.

And when the time comes, we want you hooked up with a ramsey smart vest pro in your corner to help you go through this. But you're going to be alright. The money is there.

I've been doing this show for over thirty years and some of the sad calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable .

yeah and what so hard as I feel like one of those, especially the ones that like terrible air people that call in and their spells has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance when you have to think through how I onna pay my bills next week yeah .

in middle of all that Green I .

like it's just IT is it's terrible to life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids that I like so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Thunder is the place that once and I actually get all of our life insurance.

And IT does much because ander shops among a gazillion, an different companies. IT didn't call much. You just have to admit that someday you're not gonna be here. You got to say out loud and you ve got to say i'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put the stuff in place to costa stink.

Compete a to get a free quote call eight hundred three five six forty two eighty two thousand eight hundred three, five six to eight two eight A M, A V if you haven't book your cabin on the live like no one else screws now is the time, because it's ninety something percent sold out. You do not want to miss joining me. The ramsey personalities and amazing guest entertainers for the ultimate debt free celebration will be saying the carribean, march twenty second through the twenty twenty five, stopping at the incredible turks in chaos porter, rio, saint Thomas and the bahamas hurry to secure your spot with a six hundred dollar deposit today at ramsey solutions dotcom slice .

crews welcome back to the ramps you show triple ate, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. Taking your calls, live on life, money, your mental, emotional, healthy relationship, you work call IT just about anything. We pride got an opinion on IT today's rams, the network APP question.

So we have the ramsey network aps, where you can go to get the show, you get video of the show, you can get all three hours of the show, kind of where all the cool kids hanging out these days. But we also have an opportunity to take questions in the network APP. And so we've got one from Parker here.

Here's a Parker asks. He says, i'm twenty three and i'm currently living with my parents, but I want to move out of state to be with my fiance, say, okay, I have a job lined up and he has an apartment we're going to be living in while we both worked to save up for a home. The problem on having is my family.

The problem of having is my family, because they all like the idea. My parents have always believed in being married before moving in together, and their stance is making IT hard for me to make a decision. what? What can I do moving forward? To show them that my moving away doesn't mean i'm betraying anyone.

So like a bond jovial lyrics, just want to live my. Here's a deal, uh, rather Parker, rock on to the breakdown due. If you want to live your life your way, go live IT. But Brown said, the fact that you are having this much a stress in your in making means you don't want to just live your life your way.

You want to live your life your way and have everybody else in the world go along with the way you think I should all work and you want people with wisdom to, uh, be quiet and just do what you want them to do. And you want people opinions or have data, or to just shut up and let you do your thing. So if you want to go, do IT a good knock lighter. But I don't think .

that's what you just want. Yeah, I got a hot take on this. Like I said, bobbi Brown, it's my you can do what you want to do like you can.

But I think this is just what I think I think when you brought up a certain way and you in in in this case, i'm just going to decide with the parents, I think this is the right way. I think it's a good idea to not um live together before marriage. There's so much research around that anyway. Uh, I think when you are stepping out of of safe boundaries and good boundaries, I think that what you're feeling is your heart going. This is not the right thing and I think it's easier for you to say it's my appearance is I think it's you I think you know this is not a good move for you and you're trying to go beyond IT under the guys of its my life, I get to do what I wanted do and why do I feel good about this? I actually think is your conscience going that they saying IT, uh, Parker and I think you should .

listen to that that's what saying IT.

Parker, Parker and IT and so I think that's what's happening because I know you know you talked about the voices in your head um I have .

multiple voices in my head.

yes but you don't have saying the idea that you hear the people who who you allowed to speak in your life, whether in a negative way or in a positive way you their voice lives rent free in your head, right? dave? M. S. Voice will always live red free in my head when I go to pull something off of the shelf that I have to pay for.

I always hear him in there anyway, you hear your parents voice and so I know if I had tried to strike out in moving with my boyfriend, I would heard my dad's voice in my head like, wow and I think that that's what's going on and maybe listen to IT because your parents raised you. Uh, the fact that you're writing into this show lets me know that you have somewhat of a good head on your shoulder. Maybe listen to him.

And I think here, I think, is good to call out. Forget all of the the wisdom your parents wants to pass along to you and whatever know all they are all fashion or just a dumb church. Whatever you want to say about IT the the research says um couples who played house that in again and make sense on paper. I'll go with you and make sense on paper before you .

think you're testing IT out.

That's right. Before we do this forever, let's tried out for for a six months. Just try out for year. That makes sense on paper what IT doesn't take into account and that may work with the car yeah may be the car, but people are cars.

And the only way marriage is work a long term, the only way romantic relationships and partnerships work over time, is there has to be a tethered and commitment that says this cannot end. That's right. Otherwise I will talk to anybody has been married for any length of time and theyll tell you, h yeah, if that thing wasn't in concrete, we would have gone our separate ways for any number of reasons.

And so IT always comes back to this promise. I will be right here. It'll figure this thing out. And so um you end up living separate, co managed co everything lives instead of creating a new life that has won entity moving forward. Hard right hard.

I also think it's a guys I think it's um you know if if you're dating someone and you decide I know i'm going to use old schooling, which you you decide to go steady you or like hate like we're um not gonna other people. What everyone to say that right there kind of has that's about the before you're married, that's about as far as a relationship goes before you get engaged of saying i'm only going to date you and only you, but our lives are inter point.

So I kind of have the report I can pull if you turn out to be a psycho or you turn out to be not the one for me, right? But then we've told ourselves, hey, I can take this commitment a step further by saying, come moving with me or you moving with me but it's really the opposite because you're saying you're telling yourself this is me displayed another level of commitment, but it's really you showing a level of uncommitted by saying, I don't want to marry you, but I want to enter twin our lives. But I also want to know that I can pull that same rip cord and so for me, I like, why would I get myself twined even deeper with you if you're still looking for a rip cord to pull yeah do you know and .

if you're not ready, go in don't go in right and um Parker, so if you if you're my friend, if you're one of my grad students, you came in that he is just I need to have coffee and want to talk um I would say go make your financing and make a lineup a and I hate to say this words line up a business arrangement so that you begin sharing things fiscally, begin sharing things romantically, emotionally.

We are going to create a life together, a home together. And so if somebody every Young is rip cord and intentionally um there is a structured separation here. You're not just trying to figure out how to separate whatever goes on when just buy an houses together, whatever people do.

But i'd say get married or slow down, slow down. Um mr, if it's your fancy, then you already made this sort of a commitment together. Then wait official .

yeah I agree, I agree.

I know, but I hadn't thought of your often we get to blame in everyone else in our life yeah but because we don't like looking in the mirror and look at our gut to be like, this isn't .

sometimes I really .

like not a good idea. You start that this comfort is because of them yeah. Like, no.

because I know. Listen, let's go to on another trail that john, because I think what IT is, is we've also told ourselves that uh and this is ironist good friends and you know good supportive people, they support you no matter what no.

And k and that's .

the other thing like that, counter cultural to o feel bad because this person is telling me a hard truth right now, or they've been grained a hard truth in me right now. It's easier to say I go my own way and i'm gonna, uh, do IT my way and this is live in my truth. But then when you feel bad, you're looking at everybody.

You're the one making me feel bad. You're the one you should have supported me. I'm like no abroad this year that's your conscience .

that is feeling bad is inside out most the time yeah and I think back to conversations because that is named like travel and tucker and Christian and body and crag and got to keep going for days. Man taught these guys, these are men in my life. John a, well, these are men.

Chris melt, and these are men who have looked in the eye over from when I was a little boy all the way, tells a grown man and they say, I see something that you stop. Yes, or here's another way to look at this, or I want to chAllenge you, yes. And I am only sitting here because those men loved me now, yes, to say he stop in women, too, has been women two month who love me enough to say, i'm corona right and is not IT didn't make me feel, but did I feel bad? Yes, I feel bad because I was exposed, right? Yes, I was brought to light and think, god, those many women have called me on over time.

Man, let me tell you, if you don't have good friends in your life who will sit you down and tell you you need to cool, cool out, or they'll tell you about yourself. You don't have the right people. You need good friends.

Do not always agree with you and your parents if they are being good. Parents are not trying to be your best friend. They're not always gone to agree with you. They're going to set you straight because they've lived a lot longer than you know. I'm reserving this assume that this is some .

parents who got a, but you need somebody .

who's gone to set, you strike, and you need good people who are older than you, who have lived more life than you to say you, right?

I'll like to say this in your parents Parker listening, your parents will be right back.

If you own a small business and you like the ramsey show, then you're going to love the anti leadership podcast. Almost two hundred thousand listeners to union every monday to hear me take calls from real business leaders and give dal advice based on my thirty years of experienced leading. This is not a podcast about business theory. It's real insight from a practitioner who actually does this stuff find IT anywhere you listen podcast, or if you're listening on youtube or a podcast. Now just click the link in the description.

Welcome back to the rainy show. I'm john when he joined by jay, it's got to orlando, florida and talk to brother David.

What's up David doing .

great man what .

you up to not much .

not much appreciate you got in my um i'm calling to ask about um my condemned um i'm not sure what to do with IT. Um so I bought IT in twenty ten with cash and um the h way has been increased instead it's about two hundred a month um and but a couple months ago the H A um the condemned um company, the the guys in charge.

Yep.

did you fall out? Fall out? Well, maybe he'll come back.

Um I think .

the H O, A, god, relax and they just cut them off.

They have .

a water power.

Wait, we think he might become you back.

Oh, line one. Okay, it's got to los Angeles, california. Talk to o Susana. What's up? Susana?

hi. How are you going doing today?

good. What's going on?

Um so uh, apologized with my voice shaky i'm bredd LED with self loving and the roses.

I am George camel. You're in good .

company preciate that. Um so I guess just um I was asking how I can my financial question is with the most effective way to tackle my students that to start pursuing my other financial goals. Um I I got my I got my mater degree last year and social work i've been working the mental health for the past ten years and I don't have a regret with um getting my masters because you know here in california, you you know you need the degree to you know move up in in this field and I did take out alone on my current debt right now. Um I I hate saying that allowed is a forty one thousand and hundred and forty four dollars and seventy nine.

The reason why one is big just some quick background on me um I am the first generation you know my my parents are immigrants and you know they work really hard, but unfortunately, you know there was never that you know like then they were able to help me out financially, which I don't expect to, by the way. But you know that kind of my background. I ve been working fifteen years that I haven't.

Can I? Can I be quick? Roque k .

course, yeah.

okay. Listen, jina are on .

your team to .

plain you.

to polish for any .

forty one. K vj, I had multiple six fires of of student on that. You, you, you're good, man.

We should. We would have been calling you for advice years ago. okay?

And I, I.

I am, I dedicated in my life to working in the emotional and mental illness of other people. I love what you do. I wish you didn't oh, forty one thousand box because it's wearing you out and it's making you exhausted and IT makes you hard to shop for clients day after day after day after day because you have your own anxiety in your own stress from that. Dad, I wouldn't watch that on anybody, but you were on your team. Okay.

thank you. I really appreciate that.

So just jump in, just jump into the issue is the problem that your trying to pay these often, you don't know where to start. Tell me about the problem.

Yes, I think it's just mainly that like not worked to begin. And then on top of that um and thirty one years old and I you know I know that there's a time line that I kind of wanted to follow. I know time mine sometimes they they're not you know they're not going to be linear.

I wanted to a of when the way to reach him is the kind of reverse engineer, and say, okay, if I want to be a home owner by the time i'm forty, i'm thirty nine. Now that gives me a nine year spread. What do I need to do to make this happen? right? And in your case, let's do the math and let's figure out where the holes are. So if you tell me that you have almost forty two thousand and student loans, the first question i'm asking is, is that your only debt?

Um so I have two credit cards but I only the very small lest about like a thousand so easily does matter in this equation in the reason .

that those credit cards matters because they speak to your habits. And so I don't want you to just because the baLances are high. I don't want you to say, oh, I have these create cards but they don't matter. They actually matter quite a lot because IT speaks to your nature of wanting to borrow money to get the things that you want or need. And so I want you to look at those and go, okay, this is a habit that i've started and I don't want to do this habit anymore.

So the first step for you is to break up with those credit cards and saying, if dad is causing the anxiety of dad is the problem in my life, I have to stop borrowing money and I have to cut that off at the source. And so my first home work for you off this call would be, let's get up those credit cards and decide that we're gonna live honour on the money that we make. Fair enough. yeah. Yes.

yes. So we got the two credit cards .

baLances aren't particularly high. Is there any other dead that you wants to talk about?

No, it's just bad. It's just um just have to the tile to credit card is just a student on that.

okay. And then how much are you earning from your job?

Um so I make seventy seven year a little bit of change and then I have a big house. So I work at a hospital and um that's not always consistent and I work um look whatever they need me i'm i'm party um but I wanna say I bring home like two thousand. I think i'm taking home every every month about six k and and I know that pretty good amount and to you know I never like to have a habit of well, aside from school and only reason why does the credit is was because like I had people telling me in your family members like, oh.

that's they long, long they jack you. But here's here's a thing I want to get one less piece of information from you. How much of what are you paying to rate every month?

And my right, and is only a thousand, so not too high thinkless. I live with family so i'm actually .

a really much .

um in a year I was able to see a third k and I yes I do and I put on some of IT into have you things to cow and in the rest, I I haven't in my family .

and I let .

me tell you, let me help you the thirty thousand and I know this is gonna against every fiber in your being right now. But i'm going to tell you anyway and you're gna roll this surrounding in your head in my hope is that you'll decide to do with the people on the radio. I told you, if I were you, I would be happening that thirty k that saved because it's not really your money.

That money yeah is out to the student loan companies and you will feel a lot Better if you just give them their money and you'll be able to sleep a lot Better at night because right now you you're holding you're holding IT from them. You d agreed to pay. So you have the thirty thousand.

I take twenty nine thousand of that and i'd pay the vast majority the big bulk of the the credit cards and the student loans off. Credit cards are gone today. Most of the student loans are gone. And then how quickly could you pay off the other, uh, ten thousand dollars .

or so of you tell you november, december, in january, by february wine, you could be debt freeze are.

wow, yeah.

that three thousand box a month, right, would cover the rest of this. And you don't owe anybody in the world. And can I flip that around? Nobody in the world owes you. I mean, owns you.

Yes, okay, how could I know?

Yeah no.

that's pretty great. And and you know, even before jumping on the call, I was kind of me I even I was mentally preparing myself like I think i'm just gonna have to pay this and write this the only why I didn't starting off my dead right away was because, you know, I I I think a while back I was supposed to forgive a student loans for social yeah now that IT seems like that not happening um you know I am in in a relationship um in obviously were not engaged anything but um I did tell you know my my sign C I told them look like you know he he's actually really and everything .

and report well good to paid off and you're right.

I think that the reason you are studying yourself and get ready to do this, because, you know, it's the right choice.

and I hope you do IT today, go make that happen. Hey, for obviously the show on youtube podcasts about to end head over to the rams in network to finish the show. And that's what the party is, that to go further with the rams y, we've got a calls pip for you can filter by topic all your favorite empty shows in one place.

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