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Peter Sagal, Jr.

is brave enough to. And Wait, Wait producers Ian Shillog and Mike Danforth are bringing back How to Do Everything. It's my wife's favorite comedy podcast from NPR. And I wish I was kidding. We'll have fresh episodes for you right here in the feed. Get ready for all this new stuff coming your way. Don't be scared by what's new. Embrace it. You'll love it.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the man with a gold medal in voice gymnastics. Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody.

Thank you so much. It's really great to be back with you. Later on, we're going to be talking today to Kathleen Hanna of the feminist punk band Bikini Kill. They are

are touring again this summer, 34 years after the band was founded. We'll ask her what it's like to have to get your doctor's permission before you jump into the mosh pit. But first we want to hear your anthem of rebellion. Give us a call to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, this is Mary Kryan from Old Mystic, Connecticut. Now, I happen to know Old Mystic, having been there. No way. Yeah way. Yeah way. And what do you do there? I'm actually a nuclear test engineer in a small shipyard in Groton, Connecticut. Oh, my God. Wow.

That's where they build our nuclear subs. So when you say you're a nuclear test engineer, it's like, they turn on the nuclear engine, you have to go down there for a while and you come back and if you're fine, it's working.

It's a terrific savings in light bulbs. Exactly. Well, welcome to the show, Mary. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, she is the creator and showrunner of Girls 5 Eva, a fabulous show, all three seasons of which are on Netflix. It's Meredith Scardino. Hello.

Next, a writer and actor who can be seen at the Williamstown Theatre Festival July 30th and 31st in the new play Marcel on the Train. It's Peter Gross. Hi. And a correspondent for CBS Sunday Morning and author of the New York Times best-selling rock-togenerian's late-in-life debuts, comebacks, and triumphs, it's Mo Rocca. Hi, Mary. Hi.

So, Mary, of course, you're going to start us off with who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations we found in this week's news. Your job, correctly identify or explain. Just two of them. Do that, you won our prize. The voice of anyone you might choose for your own purposes, whatever they may be. All right. Ready to go? Yes. All right. Your first quote is an official message delivered from a presidential campaign officially on Thursday. Trump is old and quite weird. Yeah.

That is the shift in tone we're seeing now that who is the likely Democratic nominee for president? Vice President Kamala Harris. Yes, indeed, Kamala Harris.

Biden is out. Kamala is in. And Democrats are really jazzed. It's not about Harris potentially being the first female president or the first South Asian president. It's about her being a president we don't have to worry about on the stairs. Democrats are just an amazing change of mood because they finally have the candidate they want. Anybody else. Laughter

And she'll also be, wouldn't she be the first brat president? Yes. Yes, she is the first brat president. So she was called by Charlie, help me out, XCX. XCX. XCX. Right. She said, Kamala is brat, and this apparently won her the youth vote for reasons I am incapable of understanding. I've been enjoying watching, like, all the pundits talk about, like, now our young, of course, someone young in the office told us what brat is.

is and just like going and trying to figure it out. It's very sad. The funny thing is also it's kind of like a messy party girl a little bit who makes some mistakes and so sometimes when you tell someone that then they're like oh so they don't like she doesn't like her she doesn't like Kamala Harris and it's like no no no that

no, that's a compliment. It's a compliment. It's a good thing. And she has to win Wisconsin, a swing state. And over there, they might think she meant she's a brat. But it's actually, it's so interesting. You mentioned Wisconsin because she, she loves butter. Like these cooking videos are amazing. And there's a video. Kamala loves butter? She loves butter. Like,

There's a great video of her telling someone off camera, she didn't realize she was on camera, how to make a Thanksgiving turkey. And she just goes all in on the butter. And then in a recent cookie baking video, it's the same thing. And I thought that is such a great swing state strategy. Oh, yeah. Do you think she's taking like big butter kickbacks? Now, the question is, of course, everybody's talking about now. We have to talk about something. It's who Kamala Harris is going to pick as her running mate. And everybody thinks, of course, Joe Biden.

That would be a twist. That would be amazing. Because no one has said he's too old to be vice president. That's true. Vice president doesn't matter. We all know it doesn't matter. Could be a butter Joe Biden. You know, carved out of butter. Oh, butter Biden. Build back better, butter Biden. All right. Your next quote is from a disappointed frequent flyer on Southwest Airlines.

This is the end of the People's Airline. That person was talking about what big change from Southwest that they announced this week. Oh, yeah, no more just pick your own seat. Yeah, they're switching to assigned seating like all the old boring airlines.

Southwest is finally getting rid of its trademark first-come, first-served seating plan. Now it's just like any other airline. They're even changing their slogan, you know, you are now free to move about the country. Now it's Southwest, free will is an illusion. LAUGHTER

They're going to get pilots now, too, I heard. Yeah, really. As opposed to whoever's like the first in line, you get the seat way up front. But wait, so the person from that quote is like, oh, it's all over? The people enjoyed fighting for their seats? People loved it. One Southwest passenger told the Washington Post, quote, I woke up to a ton of tech

from friends giving me the news. And another said he liked the old system because he was a, quote, dedicated middle seat enthusiast. I feel like he's going to be fine. You think he's going to be fine? It's still the worst seat. You're always going to be able to get that seat. Yeah. The guy who said he was a middle seat enthusiast, he has a friend?

Yeah. Because if he had a friend, he wouldn't need to sit in the middle seat to meet people. Doesn't that sound a little bit like some kind of pervert euphemism? A middle seat enthusiast? Yeah. Now, what's interesting, Meredith, is apparently they're not doing it to earn more money to compete with the, as they call them, the legacy airlines like United and American and Delta. They're doing it, they say, because the other competing cheap airlines are beating them on price and they need to compete with them.

And Spirit Airlines is like, oh, you're getting rid of open seating? Fine. We're getting rid of seats. All right. Here is your last quote. It's from the New York Times about where some people need to apply deodorant now. Where your butt meets your thigh.

Like a big pizza pie, that's amore. No, that was not amore. That was the Times giving romance advice because what is making dating much harder than it was? Oh, the heat. The heat because of climate change, right? That's the answer. The New York Times says that climate change is ruining dating because it's making us all sweaty and gross all the time.

This article was written by a guy who would be sweaty and gross in 10 degree colder weather. This is why I can't get a date. This is happening to everyone that I've talked to in my apartment. But you know... I'm a middle seat enthusiast. I was going to say, middle seat guy doesn't mind. The Times, well, remember...

This is service journalism, so they have solutions for you daters out there who are dealing with the heat. Apply deodorant liberally, especially to that spot. Choose indoor activities for your date. And most importantly, only sleep with them on a first date if they have air conditioning. It's also funny that that's the spot that they picked as a place to apply deodorant. I mean...

What is it again? Where your butt meets your thigh. I'm just going to say that place does get damp. Yeah. Is there going to be a hole? It's not now. It's fine now. Don't worry about it. But I just want you to know in theory. But what about like in, you know, how are things in Norway? Exactly. Or somewhere where it's like a little cooler. Is it just shag city? No.

Nothing's getting in the way. Oh, you mean what they used to call Oslo, now Shag City? Yeah, I got it. Bill, how did Mary do on our quiz? Like a mushroom cloud, she blew the roof off and won three in a row. Congratulations! Thank you. Well done. Thank you. Right now, panel, we have some questions for you. And first, it's a game that we're going to call... The Race for the Bronze.

Because let's not kid ourselves. So the Olympic Games in Paris have now begun, and we are going to ask you about some events that are happening there. Rapid fire, true, false, style. So if you get yours right, you get a point. Here we go. Moe, true or false, after reports that the Paris Olympic Village would be furnished with, quote, cardboard anti-sex beds, an Olympic gymnast posted a video showing that you could, in fact, have sex in the beds. Ha ha.

I'm going to say true. That is true. Meredith, true or false, he did it by having sex on the bed. True. No, it's false. He just did somersaults on the bed, but no guarantees if that's not how you have sex. Peter, true or false, the first American torchbearer in the torch relay was a first responder who had rescued victims of recent tornadoes in Ohio.

True. No, it's false. The first American torchbearer was the senior executive vice president of customer offers and order processing at Best Buy. So inspiring. And Peter, true or false, after injuring his ring finger practicing for the Olympics, Australian field hockey player Matthew Dawson had to miss out on the games. I'm going to say false. It is false because he had the doctors amputate the finger so he didn't have to miss the games. False.

Wait, say the first part of it again? What was the problem? So he injured his finger, his ring finger. Do you know how? Presumably playing field hockey. Okay. Apparently it was a choice between missing the games and letting his finger heal or cutting it off and going. So he went. Anyway, that does it for our 2024 Paris Olympics preview. Remember, it's not about winning or losing. It's really only about winning. And also, if you have recently voluntarily amputated your finger, do not swim in the River Seine. Thank you.

Coming up, our panelists go to work. It's our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Top from NPR. ♪

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Peter Gross, Bo Rocca, and Meredith Scardino. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much.

Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, my name is Aaron and I'm calling from Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Oh my gosh, Jackson Hole, a fantastically beautiful place. I was lucky enough to be at once. What do you do there? I work in operations for a hiking and biking tour company that takes people on trips in Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Park. Oh wow, that sounds like a dream job. Am I right?

Yeah, it's a dream job. I love it. Well, Aaron, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Aaron's topic? Not safe for work. There's all kind of faux pas one can do at the office. Drink all the coffee without refilling it, stealing all the company secrets, selling them to the Chinese. Our panelists are going to tell you about something someone did at the office that

Raised a few eyebrows, caused some problems. Pick the real one and you'll win the weight-weighter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play? I am ready. All right. First, let's hear from Peter Gross.

Oberg Technologies is a small growing company that wanted to ease the workload of their overstressed staff. But instead of hiring new workers, which would be too expensive, they employed the services of a 4-foot 5-inch AI robot named Quickie, a strained portmanteau of co-worker reality. The bosses wanted Quickie to have a human touch, so they allowed it to sit in on meetings, listen to conversations in the break room, and generally observe their work habits.

When Quickie went live this week, it mimicked human office behavior a little too well. It stole people's lunches. It microwaved fish in the kitchen. It started coming in late and saying it had car trouble. It even asked to leave early, saying it, quote, probably had COVID and then went to a baseball game. Then, in a bizarre mashup of excuses, it requested the whole week off because its grandmother was dying and also having a baby. LAUGHTER

Oberg's Technologies was thoroughly embarrassed and had to apologize to irate customers because they had just sold and shipped 1,000 units of their latest invention, a 4-foot, 5-inch AI robot named Quickie. Uh,

A company hires a robot to be an employee and it turns out to have learned all the worst habits from its fellow employees. Your next office ordeal comes from Meredith Scardino. Usually the only thing that stems from a cubicle that has the power to paralyze an entire office is the way one guy eats salad. It's disgusting. But at Protective Solutions LTD, a small packaging supply company in Stonehouse, England, there's something even more intrusive in the workplace.

A tiny potted plant purchased 15 years ago and brought to work by the company's bosses has grown and grown into what is now a 300-foot long beast. According to the managing director of Protective, the rapidly growing Hedera plant, quote, "goes wherever it wants to with offshoots tracing the ceiling, dipping down to the floor, covering desks, and strangling desktop computers."

displaying the cockiness and entitlement of an 80s day trader, and with, quote, new sprouts appearing every day, morale at Protective is at an all-time low, as employees gunning for a corner office have to hear, sorry, it was taken by the boss's plant. LAUGHTER

A little bitty ivy plant brought in 15 years ago has now completely taken over an office in England. Your last workplace whoopsie comes from Mo Rocca. Zach Bagnoli had a problem. Every July, his Minneapolis-based insurance company hosts a summer soup-tacular party.

This year he was tasked with making gazpacho, the traditional cold tomato-based Andalusian favorite, rich with vegetables and spices. But Zach forgot to bring the batch he'd made from home. Luckily, for 14 years he'd been accumulating McDonald's fancy ketchup packets in his lower left desk drawer.

After squeezing them into that goldfish bowl that sat empty since the pandemic, he added some spice, courtesy of Taco Bell hot sauce packets from 2018, lower right-hand drawer.

As for the crucial vegetables that make gazpacho a meal, in his upper left drawer, he found 33 packets of Heinz sweet relish from that Wendy's that closed during the Bush administration. Bush 41. Most people chose to sip Zach's nitratious gazpacho through the coffee stirrers he kept in his upper right drawer.

Still, most everyone fell sick with a nasty case of gas spacho and sodium poisoning. Symptoms include feeling intoxicated and confused. Said Zach, I'm not worried. I just blamed Mindy and her Burger King mustard shots. Those things were disgusting. All right. Here are your choices. Something odd.

and unpleasant happened in an office recently? Was it from Peter Gross, a company that makes an AI robot, trained one to be an employee, and it became the worst one they ever had because it learned well? From Meredith Scardino, a little plant brought into an office has become a giant monstrous ivy that is threatening to push the humans out? Or from Moe, an office worker in Minneapolis treated his coworkers to his ketchup?

packet gazpacho making them sick with sodium poisoning. Which of these is the real story of an office mishap we found in the news? I'll go with the story of the McDonald's and the soup packet. Great. Done. Final answer. All right. You're...

Your choice then is Mo's story of the guy who made gazpacho with nothing but McDonald's ketchup packets. To bring you the correct answer, let's hear from someone who knows all about this real story. It started off as a little plant in their bathroom and Annie and Des were in here and it just seems to like the environment in here. That was Charlotte, one of the employees at Protective Solutions in the UK talking about the monstrous 300-foot plant that has taken over their office.

I'm afraid, and this is odd for a guide, you have been led astray. That's the altitude. So you did not win a game, but you did earn a point ultimately for Moe for his delicious recipe, and we can't thank you enough for playing, and I look forward to seeing you and talking to you where you work as soon as possible. Thank you so much for calling. Thank you. Thank you.

Let me grow. Let me grow. Let me grow. And now the game we call Not My Job. Back in 1990, Kathleen Hanna formed the feminist punk band Bikini Kill and...

without really meaning to, became the face of the Riot Grrrl movement. They set out to smash the patriarchy, but 30 years later it still seems to be here, so they have to tour again. They're doing it this summer. Kathleen Hanna, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

So let's talk about the tour first. Bikini Kill was the first of many musical projects, or rather one of many musical projects you've done. What inspired you to get the band back together, as they say, and take them on the road?

I really need a beach house in Malibu and feminist art pays so well that I just figured, you know, go for the millions. I mean, clearly with everything going on in the world, we are just like kind of reinvigorated to sing the songs again. Absolutely. It just felt like the right time. You know, I didn't want to sing these songs 15 years ago and I really want to sing them again now. They feel really like...

Like, it feels good physically to sing them on stage. Maybe when you sang them 30 years ago, it worked, but the effect wore off. Now you have to reapply Bikini Kill. Let's talk about your background. I was reading in your book, I was reading your book that you recently published, Rebel Girl, which is a remarkable memoir. But I was surprised by so many things in it. One of them

I was so surprised by your first time singing on stage, which you say in the book was like a really important moment when you realized like that's what you wanted to do. Could you tell us about that? Yeah, I got the part of Annie in the musical Annie. Yes. If you're going to play Annie, that's the show to do it in, yeah. Yeah.

Well, what actually happened was a woman who had a son who went to the school complained that it was sexist, that there weren't very many parts for boys in it. So the play actually ended up being a really horrible mashup of Annie and Oliver. Also,

you know about orphans i guess they're like let's do one a boy orphans and girl orphans um wow but yeah and then they were fighting each other so it was like west side story also no i mean i i couldn't believe that because it's far from the worst thing that happens to you in your in your youth but it was amazing to me that like there you know you this this girl who deserves this break and deserves this outlet she gets it and even at the age of whatever it was 11 the

patriarchy comes and ruins it again. It's like, that's terrible. Did you in fact end up with a big fight with Oliver at the end? Only one orphan can walk away. No.

I mean, I did give him some pretty bad glares in the hallway, but he was like two feet tall and I was like four foot eight. So I really felt like it was not a fair fight. Right. And he was a very cute, sweet kid. And he made everybody cry with that Where Is Love song. Where Is Love. It's a tearjerker. It is a tearjerker. Can you still do or have you been tempted to do the big song tomorrow from that song, from that show? Oh, I do it all the time. Can we hear it?

I can't do it with earplugs. Let's see. The sun will come out. I can't do it right now. The next word is tomorrow. I literally, I just drove here from Hershey Park, Pennsylvania. I was on roller coasters for like 10 hours. So I'm sort of like fried. Did you just go to hang or were you guys playing at that? There's a big venue there.

No, we don't play venues that big. It's not that big? Okay. Thank you very much. You could. You deserve it. Yeah, of course. You know, I went to ride the Super Duper Looper again because I rode it when I was like 10. And so I took my son so he could ride it. And he loves roller coasters. He's an enthusiast. That's great. I was just there a month ago. Wow. It's thrilling. It's thrilling. It's a nice park. It's a nice park. When you walk around in a big public place like Hershey Park,

Are you recognized by your fans from any of the projects you did? But I'm thinking mainly of Bikini Kill.

No. And oddly, the day that we went, it was Foo Fighters who were playing. And Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl used to be in Nirvana and we were friends with them when we all first started playing music. And everyone was wearing Nirvana shirts and Foo Fighters shirts and not one person recognized me. So as I was sort of on the rise, I was like coming to terms with, did I make the right decision? Should I have signed to a major label? And I was like, you know what?

My son is so psyched right now and we're having a really good time and no one's coming up and bothering us. And I was like, this is actually kind of awesome. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Now I wish it would make the story perfect. If it turned out that Dave Grohl had played Oliver in that production, you did. I wanted to ask you about what, I mean, because people talk about your band, like it started this huge movement called riot girl of independent women in punk and in music. And,

And I want to ask you what your sense of your own legacy and influence was looking back now. I mean, are you talking to, like, for example, young women who saw you, you know, who showed up when they were young and saw you and were inspired to do something? I mean, what do you feel is like Bikini Kill's legacy? Yeah.

I don't know. I don't really think about it. Like, do you think about your legacy? All the time. Constantly. I am entirely focused on death, Kathleen. And I wonder what I shall leave behind. I'm surprised you're not. He's already curated his own museum. I have. No, I mean, to my knowledge, I've never inspired anybody to start their own band.

But you have. Yeah, I mean, no, it feels super great. Like, when things like that happen, like, you know, I was on the street and some woman, like, pulled her car over and was like, I became a women's studies professor because of you. And I was like...

That's the highest compliment of all time. So it just makes me feel like I'm a super successful artist and I do my job well, but I don't feel like I'm a legacy icon or any of that stuff. I'm really looking forward to the stuff I'm going to do next week and the week after that and the week after that. I'm still making music and I'm still writing and I have a bunch of projects. I'm making a documentary about my late uncle who was the world's oldest living drag queen, Darcelle, 15, from Portland, Oregon. Wow.

So I have a lot of projects going and I'm always looking towards the future. I'm like a shark. I can't stop moving or I'll die. Well, Kathleen Hanna, it is a pleasure to talk to you. We have invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling Kathleen Hanna meet Hanna-Barbera. Oh!

Hey, you lit up! I think you and I are similar in generation, so you must remember that Hanna-Barbera is the legendary animation studio.

Behind beloved shows like the Flintstones and Scooby-Doo and less beloved shows like the Partridge Family 2200 AD. So we're going to ask you three questions about Hanna-Barbera, the animation studio. Get two right and you'll win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose in their voicemail. Bill, who is Kathleen Hanna playing for? Sonny Paley of Georgetown, California. So here's your first question. Flintstones fans take the show very seriously. So when many of them realize that no one ever mentions what...

what Barney Rubble's job is, they began calling the studio at all hours. The calls were so frequent that the studio responded how? A, by having whoever picked up the phone immediately say, I know why you're calling. You want to know what Barney Rubble did for a living? He worked at the quarry. B, by making a special eight-hour-long episode that follows Barney's entire workday minute by minute. Or C, by just canceling the show out of spite. LAUGHTER

Oh, God. That's so hard. I thought he... For some reason, I was thinking he worked at the bowling alley. Um... Yeah, he just spends a lot of time there. I think A won. That's right. A. And no surprise, the majority of those calls were late at night from drunk people. Next question. That was very good. After the Flintstones, Hanna-Barbera had another huge hit with Scooby-Doo. Now, in order to create Scooby, animators did what? A. Gave an actual Great Dane LSD and watched how it acted. Huh. Huh.

B, gave themselves LSD, looked at a Great Dane and drew how it looked. Or C, studied all the desirable traits of award-winning show dog Great Danes and then drew the opposite. Oh, wow. I'm going to say, I guess I'll go with a safe answer of three, but I think it's really two, but I'm going to say three. It is three, or rather C, and I feel bad that you saw it as a safe answer. Yeah.

So they interviewed a great game breeder, but like, what's the most perfect example of the breed? If it's a perfect dog, what does it look like? And she described it, and they just drew the opposite. All right. Though they were hugely successful, as we remember from our childhoods, Hanna-Barbera loved to work fast and cheap. So sometimes a mistake slipped through, like which of these in the Saturday morning cartoon Super Friends? A, sometimes the superhero's pants would disappear mid-scene.

B, sometimes Batman's voice would come out of Superman's mouth. Or C, sometimes Green Lantern had three arms. Oh, that's B. Actually, yes, it was B. It was actually all of the above. I love when they do that. Not a lot of quality control back in our youth. Am I right? Bill, how did Kathleen Hennant do in our quiz? She killed the bikini. Kathleen, you're something.

Not many people do that well. That's true. Three right. Congratulations. Kathleen Hanna is a singer, songwriter, and punk icon. Her new memoir, Rebel Girl, is out now. It is a bracing and moving read. And you get to see her on tour this summer with Bikini Kill. Kathleen Hanna, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Talk. That was a lot. That was an enormous fun. Take care. Thank you.

In just a minute, Bill shows off his signature cocktail in our Listener Lumerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Mo Rocca, Peter Gross, and Meredith Scardino. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill gets arrested for committing a white-collar rhyme.

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Mo, there's a new form of deception, apparently, between married couples. It's not about cheating. It's that couples are hiding what from each other?

Not big purchases. That's too obvious. That's exactly right. Wow. Stealth shopping is what it's called. Several people who do it were profiled by the Wall Street Journal, the go-to paper for husbands who get mad at their wives for buying stuff. And it's true. People are ashamed of spending so much money. One woman said...

She comes home from the stores, right? She smuggles her packages into the back door and then hides them. One guy gets his new shirt sent to his office and launders them so they don't look new when they come home. Makes sense. All of that is much easier than having a 10-second conversation. And these are all marriages that are going to last forever and ever. They're lasting.

Peter, the Washington Post reports that with the big rise in VR gaming, right, that's with the headset, you're in the virtual reality. There's also a big rise in VR gamers doing what? Walking out into the street and getting hit by a real car. Almost. Basically going to the ER because they're injuring themselves. You've heard, of course, of injuring yourselves while playing actual games in the real world, but now you can do the same thing without risking any health benefits or exposure to the sun. Yeah.

So of course, right, you're playing VR games, you have this headset, you're wearing sort of headphones, you have immersive virtual world, you think you're igniting your lightsaber to fight Darth Vader right in front of you when you don't see that you're standing at the top of the stairs. Or you're in a knife store. LAUGHTER

Bad place to do that. Don't do it in a knife store. So don't go into a knife store. With no cases. No cases. So you're like, don't, whatever you do, important safety tip, do not go into a knife store and play your VR combat game there. Don't do it there. And if you own a knife store, don't let the guy with the VR thing in. I know you want to be welcoming.

You know, yeah, you want to be like, this is the cool knife store. You're a cool knife store guy. It's fine. I'd rather you do it here than some other knife store. Just imagine down at like, you know, a cool knife store. It's like a guy comes in just carrying his PlayStation 5 and his VR headset. He puts it down. Does you just mind if I do this here? Yeah, bro. Cool. Whatever. Totally, man. There's no rules here. Live in the present. It's the knife store. Right. Right.

Mo, a team of Japanese scientists have published a list of ways people can reduce food waste in their home, including doing what before throwing out old food? I mean, to eliminate food waste before you can throw it. Can you give me a clue? Sure. It's like something like, I'm sorry, I filled up on bread first. Oh, eat it yourself. No, you can't eat it. It's gone bad. Oh, you can't eat it yourself. No.

So... You have wronged this food, Mo. What do you do when you apologize for the food? You apologize for the food. You apologize for the food.

You got it. A lot of things on this list, very common sense, like making sure that the oldest food that's closest to aspiring is closest to the front so you see it, and telling your leftovers you're sorry before throwing them away. And you have to make it, just so you know, you have to make it a real apology. It's not like, oh, I'm sorry that you felt the need to get moldy.

Couldn't you just get Nancy Pelosi to come in there and just take the food and tell it to leave? Just pressure the food to leave voluntarily. She's good at that. Right. Now, the idea, you may be wondering why you do this. Well, the idea is over time you'll become so aware and so guilty about the way you're wasting food that you will buy more efficiently just what you need. Plus, you'll save money on electricity because you're going to open your refrigerator less often because you don't like how the pasta looks at you. Oh.

It also sucks to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't apologize that easily and then you hear them at the freaking refrigerator saying sorry to some bitch. How could we let it get so bad? So I guess I'll have to say I'm sorry again.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago. Or come see us on the road. We will be in Minneapolis on August 29th and 30th. And check out the Wait, Wait stand-up tour coming this September to Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando, and Atlanta. Tickets and information for all shows can be found at nprpresents.org. How you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, Jennifer Hill. I'm from Decatur, Georgia. Decatur. I know all about Decatur. East of downtown Atlanta, right? Correct. Absolutely. I know it well. What do you do there? I am an assistant professor at Agnes Scott College. Agnes Scott College. I have not heard of, though that's a pretty cool thing. What do you teach? Chemistry. Chemistry. Oh, you're one of those real professors. No. No.

You can't teach chemistry. You either have it or you don't. Well, welcome to the show, Jennifer. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go? Yes. Here's your first limerick. Here's a tweet from a CNN fixture showing off his eponymous spritzer.

It's a fun brunch with booze when, oh no, breaking news, get back to the office, wolf.

Blitzer. Blitzer, yes. What could it possibly be but Wolf Blitzer? So it's last Sunday. Just picture this. And you're Wolf Blitzer, and you work all the time. You're on TV all the time. And you finally take a break. Oh, my God. Nothing's happening today. You go out for brunch. And at the place you go, there is a drink called the Wolf Spritzer on the menu. And you're like, that's great. Of course, you've got to have one. And then you've got to have another. It's named for you. It's not like President Biden is going to drop out of the race today. Right?

So right before the news broke, Wolf Blitzer had tweeted a picture of himself holding up a Wolf Spritzer. And he's got this relaxed and happy face of a man who knows he's got the day off. And when he did absolutely have to run into the office and go on the air, he looked sad as if his Wolf Spritzer was just off camera with the ice melting. And he's not allowed to drink it.

Can I just say that years ago, I was in a parking lot of a restaurant in Bethesda, Maryland, and I was with my Colombian aunt, Julita, who was already in her 80s, and CNN is international, and Wolf Blitzer came through. He was coming into the restaurant, and she got so excited, and I swear to you, started going, el lobo, el lobo! Like, the wolf. That's hilarious. Very, very excited. That's great. Yeah.

The wolf turned around and go, Guinness! Here is your next limerick. Hi, cold baby birdie, I see ya. My tacos give me an idea. This wrap keeps you warm and safe from the storm. You'll be fine in this grilled corn...

Tortilla? Tortilla, yes. A Texas woman found an orphaned baby bird in the ground during a family cookout. Without a box to keep it in, she quickly warmed up a tortilla on the grill and wrapped the bird up in it. Oh, that's cute. And it turns out the strategy was surprisingly delicious. I mean, I mean...

Effective. Effective. How does this story end? It could go two extremely different ways. No, no. It has a very happy ending. They wrapped up the bird in the tortilla, and then they called a wildlife rehab center who came over and found the bird safe and healthy after they brushed the shredded cheese off of it.

Sadly, the second little bird didn't make it after it said it was on a low-carb diet and asked for a bowl instead. Here is your last limerick. Most sharks would prefer to abstain, but much nose candy goes down the drain. It flows past the ports, and the sharks get a snort because the water is filled with... Cocaine. Yes, cocaine. Cocaine.

A new study of sharks captured off the coast of Brazil showed that every single shark tested positive for cocaine. Every single one. This explains why sharks are always like, I have to keep swimming or I'll die. Say hello to my little fiend. I mean, it occurs to me, like, apparently, like, there are parts of the sea that are, like, filled with cocaine because of all the cocaine that are being flushed down toilets. And I'm like, we're wasting too much cocaine. Yeah.

There's enough of it to get into this ocean and make the sharks cocaine heads. There are people who need cocaine and can't afford it. And there are people flushing cocaine down the toilet. We have to, as a country, find a way to get these people together.

Or else, what are we doing on this planet? So wasteful. It is so wasteful. So wasteful. Bring the Sarah McLachlan song up slowly. Yeah, exactly. Bill, how did Jennifer do in our quiz? Yeah, do you believe Jennifer? She ripped right through it for a total win. Yeah. Congratulations. Well done. Thank you.

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Now on to the final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Yes, I can. Peter has two. Meredith has three. And Mo has four.

Whoa, all right. So, Peter, you are in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank. During a speech from the Oval Office on Wednesday, Blank explained why he dropped out of the presidential race. I mean, if they're all going to be this easy, I'm going to be very happy. Joe Biden. Yes. Following a global tech outage, thousands of blanks were canceled across the country last weekend. Flights. Yes. This week, the House voted to create a bipartisan task force to investigate Blank's assassination attempt.

Trump. Yes. Blazing across almost 300,000 acres, a blank in Oregon was named the largest in the country. Forest fire. Wildfire, yeah. For a number of incidents, Florida police warned residents not to blank on the side of a particular highway. Pull over and let their alligators go to the bathroom. No. Pull over to take selfies with a, quote, depressed bear who's been hanging out there. No.

On Thursday, Disney reached an agreement with union workers to avoid a blank at Disneyland. Strike? Yes, according to Data, Monday was the hottest day across the globe, beating the record set on blank. Sunday? Right, the day before. This week, a woman in Canada was ordered to pay a man $600 after a court ruled that the Coldplay concert they went to was not blank.

Was not the best concert that she would ever go to in her entire life. No, that the Coldplay concert they went to together was not, in fact, a date.

The woman said she should not have to reimburse the man for the $600 tickets because they were obviously on a date and he was treating her, but the court said otherwise. So remember, guys, for your own security, this guy got lucky, but for your own security, whenever you ask a woman to accompany you to an expensive event, always clearly say, I do not find you attractive in any way. LAUGHTER

Bill, how did Peter do in our quiz? Peter came from behind to get six right. Twelve more points. Total of 14 puts him in first place. All right. Meredith. All of it. Yes. Meredith, you are up next on Wednesday. Israeli Prime Minister Blank gave a speech before Congress. Netanyahu. Netanyahu, yes. On Monday, scientists confirmed the discovery of Blank 13,000 feet under the sea.

A sea worm. No, oxygen. This week, Russia began offering Moscow residents $22,000 each to fight in the war against blank. Ukraine. Right. On Wednesday, Taiwan experienced flooding after a powerful blank hit that coast. Typhoon. Yes. After being criticized for his speech at the RNC last week, Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson defended himself by saying blank.

Sorry. No, he said they voted the wrong speech into the teleprompter. After being accused of underserving customers, chain Mexican restaurant Blank said they're, quote, reemphasizing generous portions. Chipotle. Yes.

On Thursday, the NBA announced the new $77 billion deal with blank? Netflix. No, Disney, Comcast, and Amazon. This week, fans of Hello Kitty were shocked when a spokesperson for the company revealed that Hello Kitty isn't blank. A cat. It's not. During an appearance on the Today Show, a VP for Sanrio, the Japanese company that created Hello Kitty, confirmed that she is, quote, not a cat, but an eight-year-old girl. Ooh.

In a cat costume. That explains her cat ears and litter box. Shocking. Shocking. Bill, how did Meredith do in our quiz? She's tracking well. Five right, ten more points. Thirteen. One behind Peter. All right.

So, Bill, how many does Mo need to win? Well, five to tie and six to win. Here we go. All right, Mo, this is for the game. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Kimberly Cheadle, the director of the blank, resigned. The Secret Service? Right. On Thursday, NASA confirmed that there's still no set return date for astronauts stuck on the blank. In the space station. Right. This week, the British Royal Family issued new measures to help combat blank on their properties.

To combat paparazzi. No, climate change. On Friday, SAG-AFTRA authorized a strike against the companies that make blanks. Oh, the companies that make video games? Hold on. Yes, it's video games. According to the New York Times, several members of his family are locked in a court battle over control of blanks media empire. Rupert Murdoch. Right. After an investigation, a teacher in India was fired when it was revealed he spent half the school day blanking.

A teacher? Oh, he spent half the school day, I mean, on his phone. Yes, he did, playing Candy Crush. After noticing his class was underperforming, the school superintendent launched an investigation and found the teacher was spending almost half the day playing Candy Crush on his phone. When asked how he could just stare at his phone all the time and ignore his students, he said, by way of explanation, who? Hmm.

Bill, did Mo do well enough to win? Big news. He got 14, which is a tie with Peter. Congratulations. Holy cow. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict when it's all over what will have been the standout moment from the Paris Olympics. But first, let me tell you all that...

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Liederman, composer at Theme. Our program is lovingly produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Monica Hickey and Blythe Robertson. Peter Gwynn is Brat.

Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will be the big moment from the Paris Olympics? Morocco. The usually peaceful parade of nations turns into the 405 as roided up Chinese swimmers flip off other athletes and cut them off. Ensuing brawl causes massive pileup. Meredith Scardino.

Well, they lit the torch mostly just to cover up the smell of the sun. What people did to the sun. And Peter Gross. The Australian 1600 meter relay team will lose their baton and then find a new one by using the field hockey player's amputated finger. Nice.

Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Meredith Scardino, Mo Rocca, and Peter Gross. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago. Thanks to all of you out there in the world for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week from Wolf Trap. This is NPR.

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