Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. You know, the other day I was standing in the grocery store staring at the pickles, and it occurred to me, you know, you haven't changed the way you grocery shopped in probably five years. I move through the grocery store the exact same way every time I walk in the door. I buy the exact same things. I bet you're the same way. I mean, have you ever stopped to think about it?
Just imagine if I were to put a tracker on you. I know that would be kind of creepy, but let's just say that I was going to put a tracker on you. I bet if we mapped you going into the grocery store about a dozen times, you would walk the aisles the exact same way every time you go. You would stop at the exact same spots every time.
Well, today, you and I are going to learn that there is a much better way to grocery shop, a way that's going to lower your stress, a way that will make you healthier. I mean, this is going to blow your mind because you are going to learn it from a Harvard medical doctor. I mean, how cool is that?
We're going to the grocery store with a Harvard medical doctor. But that's not all. Harvard's Dr. Aditi Narikar, one of the world's leading experts on stress, she is back. You loved her the first time she was on the Mel Robbins podcast. She is back with eight proven and very simple hacks on everything from how you and I can grocery shop better to one change.
that she makes all of her patients do whenever they are on a Zoom call, it immediately is gonna lower your stress. She's also here to teach you about the life-changing impact of something called a fake commute. I don't even know what that is, but I want one and you're gonna want one too. And she's also gonna explain that there is this habit that's related to your bottom. Yep, you know, the thing that you're probably sitting on right now if you're listening to me, if you're in your car or you're at work,
There is this particular habit that you have that's related to your rear end. It is slowly killing you. Wait till you hear this research and what you need to do about it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg on the things that you are going to learn today. And more importantly, what I love about this conversation.
is that these are simple changes that you're going to be so inspired to make in your day-to-day life. They're going to lower your stress, amplify your happiness, and make you healthier. And it's all so easy. And Dr. Aditi, what I love about her is she makes you feel smart and it's also fun. So are you ready to learn about a fake commute and what you need to do with your rear end? I know I am. So let's do this.
The Mel Robbins Podcast is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance, our exclusive insurance partner. Amica understands how important it is to protect the things that matter most to you. So they'll put in the time to make sure you're taken care of, whether it's talking through all the details of your policy or following up after a claim. Your auto, home, and life insurance are more than just policies. They're protection for the life you've built.
As Amika says, empathy is our best policy. Go to amika.com and get a quote today. When you hear a good idea, it's natural to do a double take. That's what you might do when you hear Discover will automatically double the cash back you've earned on your credit card at the end of your first year with cash back match. Wait, what? Yep.
Double the cash back is something so good you might do a triple take. See terms at discover.com slash credit card.
Hey, it's your buddy Mel, and I am so glad that you showed up today. I'm so excited. It is always an honor to spend some time together. And I just want to acknowledge you for choosing to listen to something that can help you create a better life. That is so cool. And if you're a new listener, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I am personally so glad that you're here. All right.
Can you tell I'm fired up today? I am fired up because you and I are learning eight simple things that are so easy and they will immediately improve your life. Like a little boop, boop, you know, boop.
I love those kind of changes because you can feel it immediately. It's not that difficult. You can make it work in a normal person's life. And you can probably hear in my voice, I'm smiling ear to ear because I cannot wait for you to hear these very easy. And you know, if I'm being honest with you and I'm always honest with you, kind of sneaky. These are kind of sneaky little changes, but they're 100% proven hacks and you're going to be able to do them today.
And it's going to lead to a healthier and happier life day to day. And they all come from Harvard's stress doctor, Dr. Aditi Narikar, who was one of your absolute favorite experts who's appeared on the Mel Robbins podcast. Today, she's back and she's going to share exactly how to shop for groceries.
She's going to teach you one trick that you need for every single Zoom call or Microsoft Teams call or Google Circles, whatever you're using these days. This trick will immediately lower your stress. She's going to share surprising research around sitting and how sitting on your bum all day
It is slowly killing you. And more importantly, what she recommends as a medical doctor to do about it. She's also going to teach you why you need a fake commute. She's going to talk about exactly how little exercise you need. And guess what? It's less than you think. What supplements she recommends to her patients and so much more. So if you want to feel calm, if you want more health and vibrancy and energy and happiness in your life, if you love class,
clear, science-backed information that a normal person like you and me can use to help you and your family and friends get healthier and happier, you are in exactly the right place. Congratulations. You are winning today. You selected the right way to spend your time. Dr. Aditi, let me tell you about her. I love her. She is a Harvard medical doctor, a researcher, and a world-renowned expert in stress and public health.
She's a lecturer at Harvard Medical School and was the medical director of Harvard Beth Israel Deaconess' Hospital's Integrative Medicine Program. That is a mouthful. Holy cow.
And let me tell you what she did there. She developed an enormous clinical practice in stress management using evidence-based integrative approaches to help her patients feel better. And that's what she's here today to do with you. Evidence-based integrative approaches. Let me translate that. Easy, simple, proven.
Advice that makes you feel better, calmer, and healthier the second you use it. So are you ready? I am. Let's go. Dr. Aditi, welcome back to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
It's such a pleasure to be here, Mel. I'm thrilled you're back. And today, you are here to share your best hacks to be healthier and decrease stress. And I just want to jump right in. Take us to the grocery store. How does a Harvard doctor shop? What are the best foods to buy? Let's hear your secrets. A simple thing I tell my patients is to walk the perimeter of the grocery store.
So as you go into your grocery store to figure out what am I supposed to eat to heal or to strengthen or protect my gut brain connection, just go on the perimeter. You have fruits and vegetables. That's really important for a strong gut brain connection. You can go into the dairy section for fermented foods like yogurt, kombucha, kefir. There's so many fermented foods that are there. Whole grains.
and then lean proteins. You can follow also a Mediterranean diet. And that word is kind of deceptive because it's not really a diet. It's a way of life. The Mediterranean diet is sort of the gold standard in terms of the way of eating. It's been used in all of the countries in the Mediterranean for eons, for centuries. And now it's slowly making its way here to the US. So focusing on a plant-based diet, eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, minimally processed foods, whole grains, beans, nuts,
oils like olive oils and minimizing dairy and red meat. And most importantly, here in the U.S., the reason I mentioned the periphery and the perimeter of the grocery store, because here in the U.S. and likely in other countries as well, when you go into a grocery store, the perimeter is where you have the produce, the dairy,
grains and meats. And in the center, all of those aisles are processed foods. Many of them are ultra processed foods, especially here in the U.S. And so you want to minimize your consumption. 80-20 rule. This is not about becoming a monk and leading an existence where you are not engaging with food because food is pleasure and it is important. And especially when you're feeling a lot of stress,
Eat a little chocolate cake. It's good for you. It's good for your soul. I certainly don't refrain, but it's about when you create a habit and when you have that habit of a slice of chocolate cake. I talk about this in the book with one of my patients, a slice of chocolate cake every single night at 11 o'clock.
and then it starts affecting your cholesterol and all of these other things. And then you're saying, okay, wait a second, I gotta get a handle on this. And it can be a slippery slope. So really trying to focus, be practical in what you eat. It doesn't have to be this huge lifestyle overhaul. A little bit can go a long way. So if you can make some simple swaps, like put a few forks fulls of sauerkraut in your sandwich today when you're having lunch or at night, have a little bit of extra helping of vegetables.
Simple daily things can make a big difference in the long run. And then what this does is when you have prebiotics, probiotics, a sort of Mediterranean diet, it doesn't have to be all day, every day. But if you can start slowly incorporating a little bit at a time, it strengthens your microbiome. Wow. That is super cool. So as a Harvard trained medical doctor,
When somebody comes into your practice, do you advise them to take supplements to improve their gut? Every day, people would come in with bags of supplements and say, what should I take, Dr. Nurkar? What's going to help me? What's not going to help me? My standard line for every single patient who came in, I would look at all of their medications. I would write them on the medical record.
To me, very much taking a supplement is like taking a medication. Right. Right. And so my approach is always to strengthen and give people a sense of empowerment to heal themselves from inside out. And so that's not to say I want to you know, I don't want that to be taken out of context. I very much am a part of the medical system. I believe deeply in the conventional medical system, in medications to treat conditions.
But I mean, when people say, what supplements should I take for my stress and my burnout? I say,
try, you know, cause I've had patients come in saying, I sleep four hours a day. Can you tell me the best supplement to take to manage my stress and burnout? I drink, you know, four cups of coffee a day, sometimes seven or eight cups of coffee a day. I sleep four hours a day. I'm just powering through what's the best supplement to take. My answer is that sleep is a therapeutic intervention. Let's focus on your sleep. Let's decrease your caffeine intake. Let's get you moving a little bit. These are the supplements that I want to really instill in people rather than popping a pill.
I love that answer. And you know what else I'm thinking about is the fact that, you know, we kind of just roll our eyes or we don't, when you hear the advice, right, just get better sleep.
shop the perimeter of the grocery store, like these small interventions, right? It's easy to dismiss this because you think that the stress is so big or your problems are so big that there's no way that something so little would actually impact something so big. And I have always found in life that the bigger the problem and the bigger the issue, the smaller the solution. Yeah. I would say parent yourself back to a better state of health and
You know that when, if you are a parent listening, or if you think about how your own parents were, maybe that's not the best example because you might not have had great parents, but you know what it means to be a good parent, right? Like a good bedtime, protecting sleep,
minimizing screen time, eating good food, a little bit of exercise every day. There are things that we tell our children all the time. If you don't have kids, you have nephews and nieces. There are things that you know will help them. Of course, the adult brain is different than a child's brain, but the adult brain is developing as well because of the principles of neuroplasticity. Your brain is a muscle and it responds to external stimulation and external influences.
Even today, I've had patients who've been 80 years old and made behavior change, and that has made all the difference in their stress and burnout. So these small little things actively influence the brain because of neuroplasticity and can change and rewire your brain for less stress. I love it. Dr. Aditi, what's the surprising connection between sitting and stress?
As you may have heard in pop culture, sitting is the new smoking. The science shows that sitting, it's not just that exercise is good for you and moving is good for you, for your stress, anxiety, burnout. It's that sitting is actually bad for you and it can increase your sense of anxiety, stress, and burnout. Wow.
Maybe we should have ordered standing desks around here. I wanted to share a couple of pretty alarming statistics about sitting. There was a study of 800 people and the ones who sat the most, this is like knock your socks off data,
The people who sat the most had a 112% higher risk of diabetes, 147% higher risk of heart disease, a 90% higher risk of death from heart disease, and a 50% higher risk from death overall. All to say that sitting is actually bad for our health, our well-being, and as it turns out, your stress and burnout. How does sitting trigger stress?
The mechanisms of action aren't entirely clear.
But the data suggests that when you are sitting for prolonged lengths of time, you're stewing in your own emotions, so to speak. And so getting up and moving creates a whole cascade of positive biological changes to your brain and your body. And when you're sitting for long periods of time, that doesn't happen. It's detrimental to your cardiovascular health to just sit because a body is meant to move.
Your body is the greatest machine. And so use that machine to do what it's meant to do. It doesn't have to be, you know, you don't have to become an Olympian, but certainly getting up and moving a little bit every day, even if it means five minutes between your Zoom meetings, get up, take a walk, stretch, because think about it. You sit all day at work and then you sit in a car going back home and then you sit on your sofa all day.
The human body hasn't been designed to just sit all day. We are meant to move and move our bodies, you know. As a doctor, what do you recommend? My watch has that stand up thing. I love it. And I don't realize how much time will go by. And it's like, oh, I haven't stood in two hours. Holy cow. I love that.
I would say there isn't necessarily a prescription, like a dose relationship for sitting and when to stand up. And what's the dose of standing and sitting? Just do it when you can. You have a two-hour meeting, can't stand up right after that two-hour meeting instead of sitting on your Slack channel and responding to emails or doing all of those things, get up and walk around.
There is something to be said, right? Like Plato, Aristotle, all of these greats talked about the benefit of a walk, that mental health benefit of taking a walk. And so it doesn't have to be this long, profound walk. Just get up and stretch your body. Do some gentle stretching, some exercising, connect your breath to your movement, to your posture. This is really important because that's like a way to tap into your mind-body connection as well. Dr. Aditi, I had another question that came to mind. How can you use your commute or time that you're spending carpooling
as a moment for reset? 85% of employees right now favor hybrid work. I am a hybrid worker, as are you, as are many people on your team. There are so many benefits of hybrid work, increased autonomy, greater productivity, and less stress and burnout as it turns out.
However, our commute back in the day when we all used to commute to and from the office, it served two important roles. The first was geographic, getting you from point A to point B. The second more important was psychological. It got you out of home mode and into work mode. Think about when you're working from home, what you do. You set up your laptop, often on your kitchen table because many people don't have an office, right? So you set up your laptop, you do all of your morning stuff to get the kids ready or to get yourself ready or get your dog or pets or whatever.
spouse or partners, and then you just sit down on your laptop and you start your day. Or you sometimes just get out of bed. Hopefully you're doing the five second rule. You get out of bed, brush your teeth, put on some clothes, sit down at your laptop.
Your brain loves compartments. That is why in 2020, when we were parenting, living and working in the same space, it was very difficult for us to function because your brain needs compartments. When you are giving yourself no time to transition from home mode in your bed, asleep to work mode on your laptop, your brain can't adjust as well. So what you can do is you fake your commute, especially if you're working from home. It can, again, five minutes,
Two minutes if that's all you have. Get your laptop, your workstation set up. Maybe you have a desktop. Get your workstation set up at your home. Maybe it's the kitchen table. Put on your clothes that you're wearing for the day. Get out of your pajamas.
Head outside, take a small walk, go grab a cup of coffee, look at your to-do list, look at your schedule and your meetings. What do you have planned for that day? Take a few minutes to just map out the day, come back into your workstation, your quote unquote office, and start the day. Why does it work? It works because it honors your need for brain compartmentalization because your brain needs space.
time and space to transition. We are multidimensional creatures, humans, and we have many roles that we fulfill and we have to honor all of those roles and each of those roles. And this fake commute allows us to honor all of those roles, but also honor ourselves in the process. And it gives you time and space to transition out of home mode and into work mode. And it's that buffer and reset you need. And if you can try to bookend it. So at the
end of your day, instead of finishing up that last meeting and rushing to daycare or rushing to get dinner ready. You know, a lot of times what we're doing throughout the day when we're working from home, we'll say like, oh, I'm going to do the laundry and I'm going to do this at the same time. And I'm going to do that at the same time because I'm home, might as well unload the dishwasher or load the dishwasher. Instead, when you create that fake commute, bookend it day and evening, it creates a little bit more structure and it gives your brain a reset. That is brilliant.
And it makes so much sense. Like I sit here and I'm thinking, but I'm trying to cram it all in and I get my exercise in and now I'm running late, my first Zoom meeting. So I'm just gonna leave my exercise clothes on and pull my hair up in a ponytail. And then I never actually pull out of that mode. And so this, based on how you explained it and the science and what your brain needs, seems like the perfect solution. Again, free, anybody can do it. It'll take you two minutes and it will help you manage your stress. I love this.
I am so grateful that you canceled everything on your calendar in order to be here with me and the person listening today. So thank you. I already know the first person I'm sending this to. And as we take a quick pause, we can hear a word from our sponsors, which allow me to bring this information to you at zero cost. Please take a moment and share this episode with somebody who you would love to see feeling less stressed because the information that we've already covered and everything
All that is to come will help them feel better. And it's something simple that you could do. Okay. Alrighty. We'll be waiting for you after a short break. Stay with us.
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and I know even I have my own ads. I'm a sponsor of my own show. How cool is that? Talk about cheering for yourself. But I love you, and I love the time that we spend together, and I just want to thank you, and so I have a free gift for you simply because you listen to the Mel Robbins podcast. What is the gift? Well, it is a 20-page workbook that I designed using science, and it's going to help you answer one of the most important questions
that you could ever ask yourself, what do I really want? Like, I know you're busy taking care of everybody else, but what about you take the time to put yourself first? Just go to melrobbins.com slash what, W-H-A-T, and you can get your hands on this puppy in less than a minute, and you will be one step closer to answering the question, what do I really want? And once you know what you really want, nothing's going to stop you from getting it.
This segment is brought to you by Westin Hotels and Resorts. Westin is one of over 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio. Westin is my favorite hotel brand ever. And have you ever noticed that when you travel, it is so easy to let your healthy habits go? That's why I love staying at Westin because they put an emphasis on your well-being. And this goes way back to when I was a kid.
way beyond having great healthy food options and a state-of-the-art gym that you can work out in, which they do. What I love is they have three specific programs and amenities that make it so easy and fun to take care of yourself, whether you're traveling for work or for fun. The next time you stay at a Westin, make sure you ask them for one of their Westin workout maps. Every single Westin is partnered with fitness expert Strava, and they've mapped out these awesome routes for you to take a scenic walk, go on a hike, even go on a run. And most Westins...
have a running concierge to take you on a run or a walk so you don't have to go alone. That's so awesome. And that's not all I want you to request at the front desk. Westin has partnered with fitness programs like Hyper Ice and Bala to create kits that help you turn your hotel room into your own little strength training studio or recovery center complete with a massage gun. I'm telling you this because this is exactly what I do.
When I check into a Westin, I'm getting my Westin workout map so I know exactly where I'm going when I take my morning walk. And I request my Bala kit so that I can put on my weighted bangles and do my hot mom walk when I wake up and then stretch it out when I get back to the room on the yoga mat. And this is important because keeping your wellness routine when you travel makes you feel like you.
and Westin is making it easy for you to prioritize yourself and your well-being. Yet another reason why I love Westin. Recharge your body and mind with restorative sleep in Westin's renowned Heavenly Bed. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling. With signature amenities and offerings that help you move well, eat well, and sleep well, Westin Hotels makes travel an opportunity to enhance your well-being. Find wellness on your next stay at Westin Hotels.
Everybody here at the Mel Robbins podcast is obsessed with quints. And one of them is Emily, who manages just about everything here at the podcast. Emily, you were just raving about quints. Yes, I just got a whole new set of their luxury bedding. Just such high quality. I love it. Why do you love it so much?
It's so nice for summer. It's breathable and it's soft. And I just like that you mix and match all the styles. I was able to get a duvet cover in one style and my sheets in another. It just was really fun to pick it out. And what about the price? I got this whole bundle saved 25% by getting everything all together. Wait a minute. So you got 25% off Quince's already crazy low prices? Yes, for bundling the bedding.
That's incredible. Here's the thing that I love about Quince. They have the highest quality luxury fabrics, but they are 30 to 80% cheaper than their competitors using similar stuff. So pack your bags and make your bed with high quality essentials at Quince. Go to quince.com slash Mel for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash Mel to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Mel. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I
I got a question for you. What is one thing that you do for you? You know, something that whenever you make the time for it, you just feel better. It makes you happier. Maybe it's getting in a walk outside or reading a fabulous book or painting or journaling or meditating or a yoga class, or maybe like me, it's therapy.
because it is so easy for my schedule to get packed just like yours with work projects, things for the kids, for friends. Next thing you know, I got no time to read a book or take a walk or go to yoga, but I'll tell you what I do make time for, therapy. Therapy makes me feel better. It makes me focus on what matters to me and it makes me happier.
So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. To get started, just fill out a brief questionnaire online at betterhelp.com slash Mel Robbins. You'll get matched with a licensed therapist. It's entirely online, convenient, flexible, and the best part is switch therapist anytime for no additional charge so that you find somebody that you love to work with. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Mel Robbins today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Mel Robbins. ♪♪♪
Welcome back. It's your friend Mel, and I'm here with the amazing Dr. Aditi, and let's just jump right back into it. So Dr. Aditi, I'm curious, since you were talking about hybrid, what's your recommendation about video calls and stress? Like, is there any research or anything that you teach audiences when you're talking about like how to be on a Zoom? And I ask that because I've seen
lots of recommendations about turning your camera off. And so I just wondered if you had anything specific.
It is a real entity. So during the pandemic, particularly, there was an entity called Zoom dysmorphia. We don't ever look at ourselves that much during the day, right? And so when you are on a Zoom, you are looking at yourself. And so there was this uptick of people who were not feeling very good about how they appeared and how they looked because they kept looking at their faces. If it makes sense for you,
shut off your camera if you can. If you need to be on, be on. My rule of thumb right now is that like just showing up is enough.
You're on audio. Great. You're present. Great. I don't do anything else when I'm on the call, but I will often say, hey, do you mind if I'm just going to shut off my camera? And I cannot tell you I am met with such enthusiasm. Do you mind if I shut mine off too? No, let's just have a conversation. Or do you want to just talk on the phone? That would be great. So people welcome that. We all have Zoom fatigue. It's a real entity. It's not like laughable, like, oh, you don't have Zoom fatigue. Of course you do.
Your brain is not wired to look at yourself all day, every day. There's something very unnatural about that. So it has been shown to have ramifications, you know, mental health ramifications in terms of how you look. But if you want to shut off your camera and you feel more empowered and you feel like you'll get your work done better or you'll engage better by shutting it off, shut it off. More power to you. Got it. As a Harvard doctor, what's the secret to multitasking?
So in that day of working from home, you do the fake commute morning. Hopefully you do it in the evening, but maybe you just do it once a day. Morning is more important than the evening. And in the day, if you are feeling like you are multitasking or during your work day, you are multitasking. It's the way of the modern world. You have your Slack channel going. You have emails. You're doing your meetings. The thing about multitasking is even though we think it is a badge of honor, it's not.
And, you know, we pride ourselves on being multitaskers, right? Like everyone listening, you probably think you are an excellent multitasker. A hundred percent of us think that we are excellent multitaskers. The truth is only 2% of human brains can effectively multitask. Multitasking is a scientific myth. It is a misnomer. There is no such thing.
When you are multitasking, what you are effectively doing is task switching, doing two separate tasks in rapid succession. And your brain is wired to do one thing at a time.
The thing with multitasking is that it weakens your memory, your cognition. It decreases your productivity, ironically. It also weakens your ability to solve complex problems by weakening your prefrontal cortex. We talked about that area that is very important for our brain and for adulting, right? We cannot afford to multitask. The world is filled with complex problems that urgently need solving. So the antidote to multitasking is monotasking.
Monotasking is doing one thing at a time. Now, everyone will say, people say this to me all the time. I mean, come on. It's like totally unrealistic. I can't even bring that science into my life. Monotasking, like non-starter. You can bring in the science of monotasking by practicing something called time blocking. You've talked about it before as well. Let's say you have four work tasks to do in an hour. Instead of completing them all at once, you can do them in an hour.
spend five or 10 minutes on one task, then take a short break. Then the second task, five, 10, 15 minutes if you can take a short break. So by the end of that hour, you have made headway on all four different tasks, but you have not weakened your prefrontal cortex in the meantime. The other important thing to note is that those brain breaks, we talked about the breaks. Instead of mindlessly scrolling, what do you want to do in those short breaks? Go for a walk,
stretch, try some other breathing exercises, be mindful and present during the breaks. In fact, a very fascinating study recently showed, they compared the brain scans of two groups of people and found that one group that took no breaks and they looked at their stress at the end and then a group which took incremental 10 minute breaks
And the group that took breaks at the end of the day had decreased stress, better cognitive function, memory, attention, and more engagement. And they, the researchers themselves, they didn't read the five resets, but they certainly used the language. They said these short breaks were a reset for the brain from cumulative stress. So if you think, oh my God, what's a 10 minute break gonna even do for me? Like I'm so up a creek right now with my stress and burnout, try it. The science shows that taking these short breaks
breaks can help reset your stress. It gets you into that Goldilocks zone of productivity. It helps you with multitasking and gets your prefrontal cortex feeling strong again. It's all kind of connected, Mel. You know, at the end of the day, it's all just one connected piece of tapestry here. I just love everything that you're teaching us today. As a doctor at Harvard, what do you do for exercise and movement?
25 years ago, I was a stressed patient looking for answers. And that is why that was, that's my villain origin story of how I became a doctor with an expertise in stress is because I was a stressed patient looking for answers. I found my way out of the stress struggle and
put on my scientist hat. I had gone to see a doctor and my doctor had said, you know, go get a massage and just relax, just try to relax more. So I was like, okay, I'll get a massage. I'll have dinner with friends. I'll go retail therapy, all the things that didn't work. And so when I put on my scientist hat and I started looking and doing the research is when I really found out, okay, this is how stress impacts the brain and the body. And this is how I'm going to find my way out of stress. Movement was one. And then when I came out of that, I said I wanted to be the doctor that I needed during that difficult time.
So that's my origin story. I mentioned that because movement was not something I did every single day. I was working 80 hours a week and I don't know, I was running from one patient room to the other. I thought that was movement enough.
And so what I did during that time, I was acutely stressed. I was so depleted and running on fume smell. I was erratic in my food intake, my sleep, seeing death and dying on a daily basis, self-care and burnout, or even stress was not in my lexicon. It was not in my vocabulary. When I was training in my medical training, my motto, how I was trained was pressure makes diamonds. Someone sat a whole group,
group of medical students down in our first year or second year of medical training and said, I just want you guys to know what you're about to go through. Pressure makes diamonds. So I was like, hey, diamond in the making, bring it on. And then my diamond cracked. So when I discovered all of the science around why movement is important and exercise is like E, the dreaded E word, no one likes to talk about it. So why we can talk about movement, we can talk about exercise.
To answer your question, it has changed. When I was a stressed patient or a medical resident working 80 hours a week and I was running on fumes and so depleted, I focused on gentle therapeutic movement. So I went to yoga class several times a week. So
just to say that doctors are socialized to play small. We don't share our own personal stories because we focus on the patient. So writing the five resets and sharing my personal story, I have to tell you, Mel, I might start crying, but you were an inspiration for sharing that story because you share so much of your own personal stuff
to help people. And I knew that the only way that people would relate to me is if I told them the truth and not, I'm just doing this for my patients. It's because, no, I was a patient. I struggled with my stress and burnout. And that's when I became the doctor I needed during that difficult time. And so your story and your example was like a leading, sort of like a light that really, a lighthouse that guided me. Well, I'm thrilled that you shared your story because you clearly are the doctor we all need. Thank you. Thank you.
And so during that really difficult time, I focused on a couple of days a week of yoga, gentle stretching, nothing much, and a few walks. So I used to walk every single day, even if it's five or 10 minutes. Again, you might say, what's a walk going to do? It's going to do nothing.
Because it's not about the promise of physical fitness. This is the promise of mental fitness. And so a little bit of a daily walk. And the reason I walked every single day when I was a stress patient and why I suggest when people are feeling that acute sense of stress to walk every single day is because it avoids decision fatigue. If you say to yourself, when you're deeply stressed, I'm going to go to the gym three times a week for an hour long class. Okay.
Then Monday rolls around, a deadline comes up at work, you don't go. Tuesday, there's a family obligation or a conflict, you don't go. Wednesday, same thing. And by Friday, you might've gone zero or one time. Your sense of self-efficacy goes down. You're like, oh, I can't get anything right. Why bother at all? Instead, aim to do something a little bit every day. It avoids decision fatigue.
Now, to answer your question, it's changed. So initially I started my, I was a sedentary person. I didn't really exercise much. I was into dancing as a child, but not sports. Now I understand the value of sports for so many reasons.
gentle yoga and walks every day. 10 minute walk. That was like, yes, I walk. Check. This is not about like walking five miles a day. Dr. Aditi, I know I've said it before, but I just love all of the wisdom and the science and the tips that we can put to use immediately. There are so many people that I'm going to share this with. And as you're listening, please share this episode because it will really make a difference in someone else's life. And it's a simple way to say, I really care about you.
And you can send them Dr. Aditi to help. Alrighty, we're going to take a quick pause, hear a word from our sponsors. We will be waiting for you with more tips, more wisdom, more science after a short break. So stay with us.
If you're a business owner and you're looking to start a gold medal winning team, now is the time. LinkedIn Jobs is the perfect hiring partner that will help you choose your next winning employee. LinkedIn Jobs helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else. I'm talking superstars who are not actively searching. 70% of LinkedIn job searchers don't even visit other leading job sites.
Whoa. You can only get these amazing employees on LinkedIn Jobs. If you're not looking on LinkedIn Jobs, you're looking in the wrong place. Plus, LinkedIn Jobs understands business owners in a way that other platforms just don't. They make hiring so easy, reliable, effective. 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours.
And if you don't have time to write the job description, no problem. LinkedIn Jobs will help you write the job descriptions, making the process even easier. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash mel. That's linkedin.com slash mel to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply.
In the spirit of the Summer Olympics, I've been thinking about what event would I win a gold medal in? It'd be grocery shopping. I have my routine locked in with Thrive Market. It takes me five minutes. I just go to thrivemarket.com slash Mel. I add my stuff to my cart. I hit checkout. Boom. And then I've got a week's worth of healthy, delicious groceries right to my doorstep.
And guess what? You can be a gold medal winner too at grocery shopping with Thrive Market. It's the number one online destination for anyone looking for healthy, stress-free grocery shopping. Not only do you save time shopping as a Thrive Market member, you also save money on every single grocery order. On average, members save over 30% every time they shop. They even have a price match guarantee and a deals page that changes weekly. That's even better than a gold medal.
Save time and money and shop Thrive Market today. Go to thrivemarket.com slash mel for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T-H-R-I-V market.com slash mel. Thrivemarket.com slash mel.
Welcome back. It's your friend Mel. I'm so glad you're still here because we are learning so much from Harvard's Dr. Aditi. Now, Dr. Aditi, everybody, because the person listening is like, okay, how long? What do I do? And it's just 10 minutes. Just 10 minutes. Five minutes is fine too. If you can do 20 minutes of a walk every single day, great. It's the equivalent of a Facebook scroll. Seriously, we all scroll. That's true. Or Instagram or choose your poison.
It's the equivalent of a scroll. Opt out of a scroll and go for a walk instead. Do it in between your meetings if you can. Five, 10 minutes every single day. It's that inertia that you're, you know, sometimes it feels like you're wading through molasses when you're feeling stressed of like lacing up your sneakers and going outside. And if you say, oh, I'm going to do this for 45 minutes, forget it. You're never doing it. But if you say, oh, five minutes, I can do that. It's about closing that gap between where you are and where you'd like to be.
And so five minutes. So then now what I do, because I am of a certain age, I focus on resistance training. I aim to exercise 30 minutes every single day.
Does that happen every single day? No, but I probably get in four to five days of exercise. And that includes walking, or if I do a 40 minute walk one day, I won't do resistance training, but I do some form of movement every day. So now I focus on resistance training and balance because for me, I've always, I've been very into fitness over the past several decades as you have. And it's
endurance, flexibility, and strength, right? Those were my three things that I was like, okay, that's what I'm going to be focusing on. But I realized I got on a balance board like two months ago and I was like falling off. It was crazy. And I'm like, what happened to my core strength? I thought it was great. It was comical. And so every day I get on that little board. I have one. It's a wooden board. I stand on it when I'm taking a work call, when I'm taking a meeting, and I just incorporate it into my day because it's
hard to exercise. When you are feeling a sense of stress, lacing up those sneakers and doing something and moving your body feels like wading through molasses. And you have to make it easy, easier than you even think. You have to say, what is this even going to do? Fine, I'll do it anyway. A lot of the way I describe it to patients, I really focused on behavior change and the psychology of habit formation. When you're talking about how to get people to engage in positive behaviors, you are a master of this.
It is about making things small and tangible and decreasing the barriers to taking that step. So fine, you don't want to put on your sneakers. Take a walk up and down your hallway in your house. There was a study that was done that ultra short bursts of activity, one to two minutes. So walking up a set of stairs or going to, you know, parking far away when you're going to the grocery store. We all look for parking really close to the entrance. Park far away. Take a walk.
up to the grocery store, run for the bus or walk quickly to go get the bus or the subway. These short, they're called ultra short bursts of activity can decrease your risk of dying from cancer by 40%. Wow. You heard the doctor. Get your walk on every day. 10 minutes. That's all she's saying. And it's going to lower your stress.
Another thing you can do as you're walking to like get out of your head and into your body is meditation. I hated to meditate at the time. It was so foreign to me. So what I did is movement meditation. I would walk for five minutes or 10 minutes every single day. It was like part of my day. I would park my car after a 30 hour shift. And instead of walking directly into my building in Philadelphia, I would take the long way, the scenic route, and I would time myself. I did it first. It was, I did two minutes. It felt good. I was like,
I was like, oh, that feels good. I'm going to do it again for a little longer. So every day it built up and up and you focus on your feet on the floor as you're walking. Your feet have...
30 bones and 100 muscles as you are walking. It's a grounding force. And so you walk, you breathe, you think about your day. And over time, that walk could increase. You could also say, oh, I now have that sense of daily movement. I've made it into a habit. Then you can add your gym sessions. No one has ever. The thing that bothers me about exercise so much in the fitness industry, while I love fitness for myself, none of my patients have ever been propelled or fueled by the promise of
So taut bellies or biceps, that doesn't appeal to someone who is feeling a sense of stress and burnout. But if I say, because even me, when I was working as a resident, 80 hours a week, I had a state-of-the-art gym in my building, Mel, it was in the basement. I walked in, I knew I was a doctor. I knew that,
exercise was important. It was a gym in my building. I walked into the basement, into the gym, opened the door, saw the mirrors everywhere, the crazy machines, the techno, the blasting techno music, turned around, walked right back out. Never went in there again. I so relate to that story. And I was also thinking that
It's not that motivating either because if I'm that stressed out, I'm not thinking about being in a bathing suit. I'm not thinking about going to a party. I'm literally thinking about how the hell I'm gonna get through my day. And so I love that you pointed that out because the promise of a 10 minute walk outside is that you can do it. It immediately makes you feel better. It's a way to engage in moving meditation. It also gives you a sense of,
control back and agency because you're seeing yourself follow through on something that you know is going to make you feel slightly better. There are medical benefits to doing it. Reset. I'm in control. I'm going to take a deep breath and take myself on a walk and I'm going to put myself back in control and that's how I'm going to manage my stress. Fantastic. How long does it take for all these changes to become new habits? It doesn't happen overnight. It takes eight weeks to build a habit and
understanding that it takes a little bit more time because you may fall off, give yourself a solid three months to get there. And you will get there. The reason you have a most goal is because it is a concrete metric that you can measure for yourself. And it can be many things. I've had patients who've said all sorts of things. I want to feel healthy enough to take a bike ride through Europe.
I want to run a marathon, lots of physical things, right? It doesn't have to be something external. It can be something internal. But I would say that framing it as a positive and say to yourself, okay,
I want my future self to be X, Y, and Z, fill in the blank. I want my future self to have better sleep. Or you can be fed up and say, I'm sick of not being able to sleep through the night. I want to sleep through the night. Motivation comes in many different forms. It can be positive and energetic, but it can also be that you're just fed up of your own shit. But if you start these today, give yourself eight weeks, but you will see a difference within a week. By the weekend, you should start feeling better.
These things take shape quickly because your brain and your body are rewiring all the time. Your brain is a muscle. Neuroplasticity, a very fancy science word, but it means your brain is a muscle. It's not a grab bag. Like what you got for birth is what you got for life. It's not what it is. Your brain is like a muscle, just like a bicep. So, you know, in exercise, the thing with sleep that's fascinating is that like,
with exercise, if you did, you know, two pound dumbbells, like a hundred curls with your biceps, you'd know that it's doing something. I mean, it's not going to do as much as like a 10 pound, but you try it anyway. You're like, you know what? I'm going to try it. So think of your brain as a muscle, try things out, experiment, understand that doing a little bit, a simple
Simple change like keeping your phone off your nightstand could make all the difference and could be a game changer. It doesn't have to be this big, giant lifestyle overhaul. Also, your brain cannot handle big lifestyle overhauls when you are feeling a sense of stress because even positive change, like all of these things that we're talking about, change is considered a stressor to your brain. Wow. So you say in your research that there are six elements that make up an incredible life.
What are they? The prescription I give, and it's probably one of my most universal prescriptions, it is this idea of live a lifetime in a day. So the genesis of this idea is I had a colleague early on in my medical training, my first year out of residency, and he loved to play the guitar.
And he worked many, many hours as a doctor, but his great passion was guitar playing. And he would say to me, it was a Thursday and we were both signing charts. And he said, oh, I can't wait only two more days until I can play my guitar. And I said, what do you mean? He said, oh, I can't play during the week. I can only play on the weekend. And I'm so busy during the weekend. So I barely get any time. Last week, I didn't play at all. And I said, why not? Why can't you just play tonight when you get home? And he said, what do you mean? It's a weekday. Okay.
To do it on the weekend. And so live a lifetime in a day is a direct response to that conversation because I thought, why are you living for the weekends? Why don't you bring in all of the good stuff during the week? Play your guitar every day. I had another patient who used to say similar things to me about also ironically guitar playing.
Live a lifetime in a day is about thinking about the six elements that make up a long arc of a meaningful life and bringing them into your day every day. So when your head hits the pillow at night, you rest your head feeling like, wow, I had a fulfilling day, even in the midst of stress and burnout. So I can go through each of those very quickly. So the first is childhood.
Can you do something today, even if it means two or five minutes, to embrace that sense of wonder and curiosity and play, really live in that timelessness of the present moment? We call this a state of flow in science, and it does have a mental health benefit and a therapeutic benefit. So can you do something that creates a sense of childlike wonder? Play simply for play's sake. You're not getting a reward for it. No one's watching you. It's just bringing you joy. Next.
This one's an easy one. Yeah, we need to stop working, it sounds like. Can you engage? For us, it's a few hours. For others, it's less. Now, this doesn't have to be paid work. It can be unpaid work. But something that creates a feeling of meaning and purpose, a sense of accomplishment. Then, can you spend a little bit of time on vacation? Also an easy one. Enjoying and reveling. Again, we talked about, we haven't covered this. Enjoy, like do what you do on vacation, right? Go outside. Just ponder.
let your brain ponder, let your mind wander. There are lots of health benefits to that mind wandering brain circuit. Next, spend time in community, whether you have a family or your chosen family or your friends. That doesn't mean you have to be with them all day or even, you know, you'd have to be present with them, but check in with someone, send a text message, talk,
pop on a quick call. Just say, hey, just wanted to hear your voice. Connect with someone because we know that has great mental health benefits. Loneliness is equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Wow. Next, as much as you are engaging with community, spend a little time alone because we know that that fosters creativity.
And finally, retirement. This one's my favorite. Spend a little, spend a few minutes reflecting on your day, taking stock of your accomplishments. So when your head hits the pillow at night, you feel like, wow, I really did a lot. This does not take time. I know it's six steps and it feels like, oh my God, there's no way I'm going to fit this all into a day. It can be two minutes.
But just so you hit all of those points, so you are not on that hamster wheel of just like work, constant work, constant work. It will also help with your stress and burnout. It will increase your sense of fulfillment. And I think I just want to say one thing about happiness. It will make you happier, but the right kind of happy. Just like there are two kinds of stress, there's
Good healthy stress and bad unhealthy stress. There are two kinds of happiness. One is hedonic happiness. This is really easy to understand. It's Netflix binges, fast fancy cars, beautiful purses or designer clothes, all the bling. This is something that we really understand very well because we think, oh, if only we get all those things, then we'll be happy. That's hedonic happiness. Joy, pleasure, happiness.
The second kind of happiness is eudaimonic happiness. Very long word, hard to say even for me. This is not that thrill kind of happiness. It is about purpose, meaning it's contentment. So...
Think about something that brings you joy, a sense of purpose and meaning. It doesn't have to be work related, but, you know, hobbies are a great thing. So when you're painting, do you feel that sense of connection to yourself? Are you engaged? So those two kinds of happiness are very different. They also have a different impact on your brain, on your stress and your burnout. You need hedonic happiness, those thrills and the pure pursuit of pleasure,
for pleasure, sake or joy. It's like a bandaid and it's a gift to your brain and body. You have to do that. I have a list. I have a group chat with all of my girlfriends and we suggest good shows on Netflix to watch. And that's like my hedonic pleasure. I love it. I just watched Shrinking and I loved it. It's about mental health. It's kind of like
It's comedy. It's beautiful. I like ate it up. It was hedonic pleasure and hedonic happiness. But eudaimonic happiness, it has an immediate benefit to your stress and burnout and mental health, but it doesn't have any lasting benefits. But it's important. So it's not to say, again, we're not leading a life of a monk. You want pleasure and joy and happiness in the moment. It also makes you feel good when you're feeling stressed. That's what I was chasing when I was a stressed patient.
massages, dinners out with friends, retail therapy. That's when people say, just try to relax. That's what we do. The thing about hedonic happiness, it's called the hedonic treadmill, that we have a set point. That's why lottery winners, they win a lot of money and then they come back to the same baseline of happiness.
The other kind of happiness is what we really need to start chasing and create a cultural conversation around eudaimonic happiness. This is about meaning and purpose, a feeling of connection. The science shows that this kind of happiness can actually change your cells and your brain and your body know the difference. There are genetic and cellular changes that happen in your body with eudaimonic happiness. They don't happen with hedonic happiness.
Dr. Aditi, you're the greatest. It's such a pleasure to be here, Mel, honestly. I wouldn't miss it for the world. It was such an honor when you asked me to join you. I cannot tell you. You kidding me? I just like, I just like was sitting here learning. I felt like I was like either at a doctor's appointment or in like a PhD level class. You are so amazing, Mel. I like
almost wanted to burst into tears so many times. Oh, I mean, I love your advice. And as you're listening, I am sure you've been nodding along, smiling ear to ear. You're like, I love Dr. Aditi. And there's probably somebody in your life that comes to mind. I mean, I know I'm going to be sending this to my brother, Derek, to my friend, Jodi, who I want both of them to stay with me for a long time. And in order for them to do that, they need habits to be a little healthier. They need Dr. Aditi in their life.
And maybe you're thinking of someone who is struggling to eat healthier or who works too much. You know who I'm talking about. You love them. And just like I want my brother and one of my best friends to be a little healthier, to take better care of themselves, you want the same for your friend.
So share this episode with them. It is a simple way for you to say, I love you, for you to say, I care about you, and for you to get a little more Dr. Aditi into their life. I mean, you've heard Dr. Aditi say that even as a doctor,
She knew what to do, but wasn't in the right environment in medical school to develop the habits. I just love it when people admit this kind of stuff, don't you? And she didn't have people around her supporting her. In fact, they were telling her that she had to push harder. Wrong advice. And so the thing about the people that you love is they've got you.
They have you supporting them and you sending them this episode saying, hey, I love you. I see you. And here's a little love coming from Dr. Aditi and me. So please, please, please take a moment and send this episode to somebody that you love because it really does make a difference. And one more thing, in case no one else tells you today, I want to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to
to take all this inspiration and these eight amazing, simple, sneaky little hacks from Dr. Aditi and use them in your life because I do see that for you. I want you to live a long and healthy and happy life. And if you take everything that you just learned today to heart and you put it to use in your life, you will. Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a couple of days.
Dr. Aditi Naruka. Oh God, I said it wrong. Nurakar. Did I do it? Nurakar? Nurakar. Okay. So I'm like, I've been practicing. I'm right. Nurakar. Wow. I kind of did that well. Yes. Okay. I never curse. I just, that was like my favorite line of the entire conversation so far. Okay. Keep going. Sorry. Bless you. My allergies are coming, everybody. Sorry. Go ahead. Bless you.
Thank you. You're going to make me cry. I also feel a little choked up right now. I'm not going to lie. I'm sure we won't get through it without laughing and crying. So cheers to you. Cheers to you.
Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend.
I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Stitcher.
Who doesn't love getting something for free? Labor Day deals have arrived at the Home Depot, and right now you can get a free Milwaukee 18-volt extended capacity battery, $159 value, when you buy a select tool. Get longer runtime and more battery life so you can power all your fall projects. Shop Labor Day deals and get a free battery when you buy a select tool at the Home Depot. How doers get more done. Limit one per transaction. Exclusions apply. Full eligible tool list in-store and online.
Always Nightpads are designed for a perfect night's sleep. Made with rapid-dry technology for fast absorbency and up to 10 hours of protection, Always Nightpads lets you do your sleep thing. So go ahead, bear hug a pillow, roll around in your favorite white sheets, curl up or starfish out. Whatever your sleep thing...
Always Nightpads will do their up to 100% leak protection thing. Shop for Always in-store or online, wherever you get your pads.
