The Sign of Four - Part Three
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I sold some at first, but they...

they just keep coming and i i contacted an expert diamond expert hello good to meet you all hi hello jonathan small from what we gather we understand that shoto sees the morstons of some importance i believe it is a fragment of god's heart yes but this is what i don't get why is it fragmented and why is sholto sending them to me too do we think he killed the boy

I have to say that's what popped up in my mind. Then why is there a missing boy and why did he possess an exceptionally rare diamond? I don't know. And why did the boy have a picture of the descendant of Captain Arthur Morstan, who lived and worked in the homeland of that very diamond? Don't know. And why did the Sholto individual harass Mary upon her father's death at the funeral and express a wish to steal her away to India? I don't know, Sherlock. Okay? Would you like to know? Okay. Okay.

We are in the storage unit of the late Captain Morstan. There we go! What? What is it? What's inside? A note. What does it say? The sign of four. The sign of four.

Morning. What the hell happened to you two? Lodge, you all right? Yeah, I just walked in. We're cracking the case. That's what happened to us. Well, Inspector Forrester told me you were performing lewd sex acts in West London. I was not performing lewd sex acts in West London. And can people stop telling me I was? Hmm. What were you doing then? We infiltrated an old storage unit owned by Captain Morstan. Oh. But my pyjamas ripped at the back. Look. Jesus, John. What? It's the morning. So? Yeah.

It's just my bum cheeks. What was in the storage unit? Well, so it... Did you just sit your bare ass down on my couch? He pays a lot, doesn't he? Yeah, I suppose he does. I think that's a boy dog thing though, isn't it? Mark your territory sort of thing.

He's got his work cut out in central London. Oh, God, yeah. It's very difficult these days for a young dog to get on the territory ladder in London. Oh. Yeah, so... I just... Oh, sorry, you go. No, no, no, it's fine. Honestly, you, you, go speak words. OK, speaking words. Yeah, I just wanted to say, because I didn't say it before. I mean, I text it, but I didn't say it. Sorry about not turning up.

at the Criterion Banking. Oh, come on now. I'm serious. It's not like you could have planned it. There was an emergency. No, I know. I just... Yeah, blah. I just feel bad. I feel... I don't know. Yeah, no, I understand. I was at a funny chapter in my life. I don't really think I knew it at the time, but... Yeah, I was just looking for something. Anything. Past tense. Yeah, past tense. So you found it. I...

Did find it, yeah. What's it like? It's good. Yeah, yeah, it's good. It doesn't do laundry. It plays the violin all night. But yeah, seriously, though, I finally feel... Like you. I feel like me, yeah. God. Teen CC's a vet, please, Doctor. Yeah, yeah, it'll come. Of course it will. You're seeking it out. So then it comes along by accident. Or in my case, on a treadmill covered in blood.

Would that make sense if I listened to the show? That would make sense if you had listened to the show, yes. Must get round to doing that. Yeah, yeah. Hey Archie boy! I just want to stop wanting so much. You know? Yeah. Just keep doing stupid, stupid stuff because I'm just, I'm in a rut and I'm just trying to claw my way out, grabbing at anything. Jobs, ideas, side hustles, mean women. Jeez, honestly. And then it

It doesn't work or my stupid 21st century brain just gets bored of it and throws it in the bin and moves on to something else and just... This is like the opposite of me as well. That's what really sucks and it's the opposite of him too, to be honest. Who, your dad? Yeah. I thought you guys moved around a lot when you were younger. I mean, he did. Not all in the name of work. I used to be like that routine. Army routine. Oof, yeah, very hard to replicate. Really bloody hard.

I threw myself into a brief tattoo phase too. Look. Oh, wolves. Lots of wolves. I like a wolf. I do like a wolf. I think when you messaged, I sort of, I guess I found a lot of stuff. Oh, steady. Oh, steady now, Mary. Yeah, no, I think I thought that I was going to talk about painful stuff for your podcast. Of course, of course, because you thought I was going to do the interview first.

For veterans. Right, exactly. Well, this was before you turned into Miss Marple. Mr. Marple, even. Dr. Marple. Thank you. Yeah. And anyway, I think I got excited because I saw the message and I was like, ah, okay, this will fix me. And now I'm just... This whole India stuff has taken over and I don't know. I'm back to feeling...

So small, again. I mean, we can completely talk about it if you want. It's not often you get a guy that's been blown up to listen to your war story. Hardly a war story. Oh, come off it. No, I'm serious. Mary, why are you minimising it? Because it wasn't a battle, was it? It wasn't big explosions and cursing or whatever. No, it wasn't. It was worse. Come on. Okay, okay. But if I turn into some blubbering mess and people start to stare, this is your fault. I'll take my chances, Mary.

Well, yeah. So total newbie nurse sent out to Afghanistan. In the deep end. Yep. And four hours in a convoy, stopped for the night in Baccaran, then another four hours the next day and we'll be in Kandahar. Yeah, and packed my stuff, jumped in the truck with Sergeant Bancroft, Private Aziz, Private Harrison and a few others who I didn't really know. But I got to know them on the journey, as you would, right? I mean, four hours per stand.

Yeah, came into Baccaran. We're looking for what we've been told is a compound that already has some military presence already. And I'm looking at the truck in front bouncing into these, I guess you'd call them potholes. And just as he's turning to head back down towards the town, his tyre sinks into this hole. And immediately I just see this whoosh, like this. You know what it was like? It was like a champagne cork or like a geyser, like whoosh.

I swear to God, the front end of that truck ahead of us just takes off, flips into the air, and I just see this tower of flames just shooting up out of the ground. Yep. And then it was like, snap. I just remember starting to finally feel the cold. The heat had gone, and I'd woken up, no longer in the truck, but in total darkness. Cave. I was in a cave, yeah, and I...

I would be in that cave for another five and a half days. You okay? Yeah, yeah. I wasn't alone. I was with Sergeant Bancroft. She was great. She was like action woman, you know? Slap us around and kick us, starve us, take our clothes off us. And she realized like after day two, you can absolutely kick and punch back to these dickheads. You can really get a good few hits in two. And she did. She did. She fought them.

Every day, I guess. Yeah. There was something about the way they treated her. Because I guess the way she looked. Short hair, well built, tattoos. Ripped, right? The way they treated her versus the way they treated me. So cruel to her. So evil. They kept saying they were waiting for Abdullah to meet me. Abdullah Khan. I don't know what they thought he was. Some warlord or whatever. Maybe he wanted to parade us around as some trophy.

Then, lo and behold, woke up one night, or morning really, it must have been 4am or something. There's a firefight going on outside and I can hear some bullets pinging around the cave walls, I can hear flashbangs going off and thank the lord I can hear Americans shouting. All the while more bullets and shrapnel shooting around the cave as they get closer and louder. And eventually after all this noise, all this mess, it goes quiet.

I whisper out to Bancroft and as I say her name and reach out for her I can just see the early light of dawn bounce off her eyes and I smiled. I remember smiling. I could feel my lips crack because it had been so long since they'd made that shape. They'd been almost set in stone and yeah she didn't smile back and she didn't blink. She just...

I put, I felt for her pulse and I caught a little flutter of something there. Very weak. And I quickly just, I kissed her. It just felt like the right thing to do. I kissed her, held her hand and stroked it for a bit. And yeah. And then she, she died. Okay. How many staring right now? Uh,

About 200 people staring at the moment, but they'll get bored soon. Shut up. I'm just going to blow my nose because... Yeah, sure, sad snot. Sad snot coming through. I feel helpless. Okay. What do you mean? Sometimes people go and they shouldn't, and you might feel that it should have been you, but it's just the natural rummaging around that your brain is doing just to try and make sense of it. You don't have to do that. I don't. No. Oh, great. I wish you could tell my brain that.

Well, Mary's brain, if you're listening. It isn't. You leave Mary alone. She's brave. She's driven and powerful. And she was just wrong place and wrong time. Thanks, John. Hey, pleasure. What were you going to say? That feels like ages ago. Yeah, I think I was just going to

Oh, it's just boring case stuff. What was it? No, it doesn't matter. Okay. It actually does matter. No, I've realised. Okay. Right, yeah, so the note, the sign of four note that we found in your dad's lock-up. Sure. I'll have it just here. I just wanted to double-check. That's not your dad's handwriting, is it? No, it's not. Right.

And that was in his storage? Yeah, it was in a lockbox. Oh yeah. I couldn't get it open and it felt empty so I left it. Well it was empty but for the... Whoa! Hey, hello Toby. God, you are eager today. Hey, who's this? This ugly bastard is Toby. Hey, oh, he likes you. Actually, he seems to be into this note. Hey, hey, down Toby, down mate. Toby. Jesus Christ. Toby, down. It's alright, don't worry. Toby, here. Here, now. It's not drugs, I promise. Here, now.

I don't know, he wants this. He wants everything. Sorry guys. Oh, no worries. Bye Toby. Bye. Bye. As you were. Hold on, phone call. Christ, we'll get around to that therapy any minute. Yeah, sure, I'll just wait. Hold please. What's up dude? Yes, hello. I've confirmed that it cannot be Captain Morstan's handwriting. You can stop hanging around with Mary now. Ah, yeah, no, I just confirmed that with her. Understood. So it's likely that it's not a note, but a message.

A message from the sign of four. Indeed. I may wish to take another look at it, to examine that handwriting a little closer. Maybe see if I can unearth a sample of Schalthomes. Perhaps Jonathan Small can be of assistance in this area? Well, you're lucky I still have it, to be honest. Your amazing creature nearly swallowed it. What are you talking about? Toby. Just came over frantically sniffing it in Regent's Park and now I look like I'm using it to snort coke. He sniffed it frantically? Yeah.

Call Stanford, get us a lab and meet me at St Bart's. Sorry, Mary, I've got to... What are you doing later? Oh, I was probably going to pop on the Discord briefly, chat to some listeners or... Or head out to the Criterion? Wow. I mean, this is the most confident I've ever been, so feel free to shoot me down and destroy that, no worries. Yeah, no. I'm... No, I'm not going to shoot you down. You're bottom of the FPL, by the way.

I'm not. You are. Pete is. Nah, he doesn't count. Why not? Because he's married with three kids. So? So he's tuned out, hasn't he? He's way too busy to know what's going on with football. Yeah, that's why he's bottom. I'm not bottom. Yeah, you are, mate. Alright, where are you then? On top, obviously.

Why is a highly regarded surgeon top of a fantasy football league? You should be busy saving lives. Ah, don't save lives to her, John. I save egos, let's be honest. If we could just turn the volume down a touch. Yeah, sure, yeah. How's Nadia? Yeah, she's good. Yeah, going strong. Good for you. Thanks, mate. Gonna meet her parents next week, so...

Wow. Yep. Could we please... All right, sorry, remind me what we're looking at again. A note from John's girlfriend, yeah? She's not my girlfriend. It is a note connected to John's girlfriend, but we don't know who from. She's not my girlfriend. But we would very much like to discover who it is from, but also why our friend Toby was so interested in it. Who's Toby? Hairy fellow from the park. I thought you were doing CCEA on it. I already have. Oh, right.

Just awaiting results. In the meantime, I'm doing some paper chromatography that is proving rather illuminating. How so? Well, I can see benzyl alcohol and dye from the biro ink, of course. Mm-hmm. Then a smattering of other results. I'd say some calcium, some sodium, potassium, then some metabolites.

So that would be some sweat on page. From Arthur Morstan? From the author of the note, I'd say. The sweat is pushed down, almost forming a grease print in a crescent shape to the right of the writing. So a right-handed person. Arthur Morstan was left-handed. And I'd say that, along with the handwriting analysis, gives us reason to believe he didn't write the note. I can also tell you our author...

Why? Oh, okay, wow. What have you got? Codeine.

Nice. Good spot. Maybe that's why Toby was all over it. It's an opioid, right? I've checked. No service dogs are trained to sniff codeine unless case-dependent. And he never worked on any. He was sniffing for something else. So basically, narcotics, explosives, harmful substances? Correct. Here we go. Thanks, mate. Cheers. Oh, lovely. It's in an envelope and everything. Right.

Who wants to guess? Stamo. Come on, John, it'd be fun. Right, what do we think was on the note? This isn't a bill in a restaurant. We're not guessing. Bacillus anthracis. Right, he's gone with whatever that is. What about you? Fine, if he's playing, I'm going to go cocaine. Okey-dokey. We asked which chemical has been found on the note. You said cocaine. Our survey said...

Oh, what? Mr. Sherlock Holmes, you said... What was it again? Bacillus anthracis. Our survey said... Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! Top answer! Really? Yeah, bang on, mate. There it is. Look. You've won a Ford Escort. Congrats. I've done what? Don't worry about it. Here's your lab results. Good God. Well done, mate. Good work. Absolutely nailed it, Sherlock. What is it? Bacillus... What's it?

Anthrax. Jesus Christ! What are you bringing it in here for? Shall we evacuate? Do we need to evacuate the building? Never mind the building, I'm halfway to evacuating my arse! Those spores have long expired. Captain Morstan did the right thing by storing them away in that box and then in a locked container for ten years. Oh, okay. So, so somebody poisoned him? Yes. That's mad. Poor bloke. And what does the four mean? The sign of four. We don't know.

It feels to me like we're dealing with a group. A group that felt the need to eliminate Captain Morstan ten years ago. And I dare say it ties into the God's Heart Diamond and its kindred stones. No, no, no. The four marks on the lockbox. Hey, what? The four marks. Of course. It's not a scratch. It's a mark. One, two, three, four. It's their symbol.

The sign of four. I'm Marina Hyde. And I'm Richard Osman. And together we host The Rest Is Entertainment. It's your weekly fix of entertainment news, reviews, splash of showbiz gossip. And on our Q&A, we pull back the curtain on entertainment and we tell you how it all works. We have just launched our Members Club. If you want ad-free listening, bonus episodes and early access to live tickets, head to therestisentertainment.com. That's therestisentertainment.com.

Sorry, apologies. We're outside Piccadilly Circus round here. Yeah. Hi, listeners. Hello. Just got a big pang of something. Pang of the old, old crisis, the old mentee health. Just, I don't know, it's 7.04pm and I am stood outside the Criterion. That's why that Piccadilly Circus joke was funny, because...

Yeah, Christ, yeah, got a bit of the jitters. I don't know, I don't think it's Mary, it's... Door to a world I don't want to open. Nothing against the criterion, I hear it's very nice. But, yeah, I wasn't in a great place when I was here before. I don't think Mary is in a great place right now, and I feel...

Uh, I don't know. Oh no, poor John. A sexy lady who's easy to talk to and fun to hang out with who wants his attention. Oh no, it's not that straightforward. Okay? Because I'm not... I can't be her crutch because... I mean, I've got two crutches myself. You know, one called Sherlock Holmes and the other called Mariana... something. It's, um... Okay, it's just a casual get-together, John. You know, John boy. Just a wee chat over a drink. A little drinky-poo never hurt anyone.

It definitely did. But, you know. Okay, right. Going in. Going on a date, I think. Here we go. Well, we are back, listeners. We're back where we first met. Haven't we come a long way? Oh, God, she's got the table I was at. Lovely. Okay, let's do this. You're going in the front right pocket of my coat.

Well, I say coat, it's more of a jacket. Is it a jacket? You know what, I'd say it's a shacket, sort of a shirt, jacket, sort of thing. Right, you're going in. Bye, good luck, sorry. I don't know why I'm sorry, but bye. Have you been waiting long? No, like five minutes, phone scrolling time. Well, now you know how it feels. Bye. Joking, joking.

Okay, so I listened to episode one. Oh? And do you want to know what I learned? Sure. That you would want this. A bottle of the Pilsner. There you go. Oh, well, thanking you. So what did you think of episode one? Loved it. Really, really cool job. Bravo. Cheers. It's funny because it made me feel...

I don't know, it's weird. I know I haven't heard it before, but it felt like revisiting something. Yeah, I know, that's why I don't listen to it.

You weren't happy? Nope. But Sherlock and Mariana, eh? And Archie. And Archie, of course. The team. A great team. The best. So do you take the mic everywhere with you then? It's on you now, isn't it? It's what? Sorry. Hey, look. Oh my God, you can't even keep a straight face. It doesn't mean it's going to be cut together and uploaded. You just keep it on in case something happens. Exactly. Like a whole...

Superman getting changed in the phone box type thing. You couldn't even say that without laughing. Yeah, no, I couldn't. I could be Superman. I could be Superman.

Told ya. That is a good local kebab shop. Incredible, right? The sheer size of it. Huge. Huge. So huge, I'm now glad you tricked me into getting the tube up here. Up here? Yeah, alright, Mr. Central London. Yeah, I did sound like a wanky Londoner then, didn't I? It's funny how the place rubs off on you. Yeah, weird, eh? What do you think you'll do? As in keep living in London? Yeah. I don't know.

Got some strong urgings, some feelings pulling me back home. Home being? Home being New Zealand, where we all live upside down with our sheep friends. Of course. So, yeah, constantly being pulled back home. But then something here always... Crops up. Yeah. Yeah. Nearly tripped on the bike stand, didn't I? You did, that's true, but you really styled it out. Yeah, I thought I did too. Got distracted. Yeah, me too for a second there.

Uh, this is my house. Ah, okay. Well, I say my house. It belongs to a landlord that charges me a grand a month to live in a bedroom, but apart from that, it's mine. Very nice. Well, Mary, we... we finally did it. Finally. I'm really sorry it took this long, John. No, hey, it was, uh... it was worth the wait. It was. So, yeah, I'll, uh... I'll give you a call, or... Sure. Um, thank you for everything today. That's okay.

Thank you. For what? For being so... What, you okay? Uh... Sorry, I didn't, I mean, I didn't technically kiss you. I was just positioning because I thought that you were positioning. No, no, no, it's not that. Pretend it didn't happen. Quick, just... Sholto. What? There, on... There's a letter from him. Oh my god.

So, basically, you were making out with her and... No, that's not what I said. You were making sexual advances on a client. Mm-hmm. Continue. Sherlock! Good point, Sherlock. Would you just... Archie, don't look at me like that. Can we get to the actual serious thing here? Sholto is back. He's corresponding again. So, we have more diamonds? No. What do we have, then? He sent her an airline ticket to India. Oh. Oh.

The Sri Guru Ram Das Ji International Airport in Amritsar. You memorised that? Yes. Very impressive. Thanks. Why did you memorise it? Because I think it's important that you both know where I'm going. What? She can't go by herself. Well, then she shouldn't go, John. It's a case. So? So, if somebody doesn't go and track down this Sholto guy and figure out what is going on... So now there's a pretty girl around, you run towards murderers, is that right? We don't.

We don't know he's a murderer. Oh, sorry. I meant suspected murderer who's also a creepy stalker that harasses women at funerals of their parents. All reasons why I'm going with her. You are not going by yourself. I'll be with Mary. No, I'm going with you. Mary, I'm going to protect Mary. Yeah, yeah. And I'm going to protect you. Then I'm going to protect Mariana. I don't need to... Hey. What?

You said my name. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Did not. You did. Yes, well, it just sort of came out. He said my name, John. He did it. He finally did it. Can we go back to teasing Watson, please? He loves me. I finally broke him down. He did it, Archie. He called her Mariana. Who wants Wiggins to come stay? Who's going to be a good boy to Wiggins? Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

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