The Most Anticipated Meal Ever w/ Fancy Chef | Your Mom's House Ep. 780
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Pre-sale tickets for Come Together 2025 World Tour dates are available now with the code word TOMMY. I'm coming to over 35 cities across the U.S. and Europe. Don't worry if you don't see your city. I will do my best to get there next year. Get tickets now at tomseguro.com slash tour. I can't wait. I'll see you soon. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

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See Mint Mobile for details. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. A quick reminder that coming up here in just over a week, I will be in San Diego and Phoenix as part of my tour. We also announced some 2025 dates if you have not gotten tickets yet. We've added a bunch of cities, but I'll be in New York. I'll be in Chicago. I'll be in Austin and Boston.

and so many more. So go to tomscrow.com slash tour for tickets. And I thank you, and I will see you there. Jean, how are you today? I'm good. I came from, I'm doing radiology. Just for fun? Just for kicks, for radiation. Yeah? And it's not as awful as I thought, even though I should be telling you it's way worse than it is so that I get more sympathy and stuff. Well, I'll tell you about Invisalign in a second, but go ahead. Go ahead.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you, so this morning I went before we record, and the radiation waiting room is lit. Because it's mostly older people who are like, I don't know, this could be my last. You hear a lot of moans and noises? So many moans. It's so sad. Ah, yeah.

But today I saw a granny, like a legit granny with the curly hair. We were sitting waiting to get called in to get your radiation. And she was reading a pornographic novel. That's awesome. Yeah. And she didn't even look up. Like usually when I come in. She's lost in it. And she was, it was so horny and awesome for her. Yeah. Did you get the title by chance? I forgot. I'm forgetting everything these days. But it was horny and the...

The cover was like hot. That's hot. And I was like, dude, no way. And then as I was leaving the oncology center, I saw a woman roll in in a purple Camaro smoking a cigarette. Wow. That is so hard fucking core. Hard fucking core. To roll into the cancer building smoking a cig. You got to give it up to the folks that beat it and then keep doing that shit. They're like, fuck me.

But I kind of get it now. They are predisposed to cancer. They've beaten cancer. And then they're like, well, this is the stuff that will fuel it up again. So let's just do it again. This is what I want. That would be like me getting back on hormones. Because my tumor was hormonal. It was fueled. I mean, I know there was a lot of non-oncologists that weighed in on this.

on their thoughts of what caused your cancer. The internet's so many people waited. You know, the medical community explained to you that it was actually fueled by hormones. Yeah, those, that's true. Yes, yes, yes. That's not what it was. That's not what it was. You know what it was? Gluten. It was gluten. It was aluminum in your deodorant. I've been wearing deodorant for years. Well, you can listen to the fucking doctors if you want, but.

I would kind of read through some YouTube comments and figure out what was going on. That's probably what would help you out. I've been drinking my urine steadily, and I think that's really what cured me. Well, that's definitely going to help. Call Will, he'll tell you right now. It has cured. I was holding guys' cocks when I go out in public just to fight cancer myself. I just hold his dick, and I go, oh, I feel less cancerous right now.

You know, it's just whatever you're interested in, you go with that. The medical industrial complex, don't believe the hype. Don't believe that. They're just trying to fill you. They're trying to get you to stay overnight. They're trying to pump you full of medicine. Don't fucking listen to that shit.

You want to know what's going on with your body? You go on Instagram and you fucking post something and just read those comments and you'll figure it out. You find some hippie in a forest to tell you how to cure it. They'll tell you exactly how to beat this shit. You know, there was this article, which model was it? She was diagnosed with breast cancer as well. You look it up, my love. It's an old white lady now. An old white model.

shit. Anyway, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and she opted to go treat it naturally. But if you, she wrote a book about it too, I believe. Yes. Elle McPherson. God. She revealed she was diagnosed with breast cancer seven years ago. Nicknamed, nicknamed, whatever. That's her name, the body. So she, she. Talk about a genetic anomaly.

Oh, she's stunning. She's stunning. And so she says, oh, I went and I went and I did meditations and I changed my diet. But if you really listen to what she's saying, she's like, I went to like, it sounds like she went to a really fancy holistic center in addition to chemotherapy and radiation. Maybe leaves out that part or what? I don't know. You can't just eat papaya to cure breast cancer. I wonder if I drank her pee if I would fight cancer. Oh, that's interesting. You know?

I mean, she's Elle Macpherson. Is she your gold standard jack off when you were... How old is Tom when he finds Elle Macpherson? When I find Elle Macpherson, I'm probably like...

Yeah, right when your dick starts to get hard and you go like, what's going on? So like young teen, 12, 13, something like that. Stunning woman. Yeah. Truly beautiful. When she was a swimsuit issue model, it was fucking crazy. She was a part of a beautiful, Christy Brinkley too. You know what's crazy? At that age, in your mind, you're like, if she could just meet me. Yeah. If I could just talk to her. If I could just talk to her, I bet you she'd be like, I don't know what I'm doing with these fucking...

billionaires on their yachts that's so funny i want to date an eighth grader i used to think that about robert smith from the cure really like if he could just see me and if l could just see me yeah get it he'd like fall in love with me i'm talking about different types young robert okay there we go that guy like if he could just meet me at 16 and see how truly goth i was

And I somehow believe that if I could show him I was goth enough, then he would like me. You know? He's very funny. Every time I see a clip with him, it's very funny. Yeah. He's like, oh my God, Robert Smith, are you excited to be inducted into the Music Hall of Fame? And he goes, not as excited as you, apparently. Yeah, that's very funny shit. That's the best. I definitely like that. Yeah. I don't know. I wonder if he's fun. I think he is. I mean, he looks like he parties. He didn't get that physique. Yeah.

not having fun. You didn't get up and cold plunge today. You sure didn't. Nope. You did. That's right. You did? You did the plunge? You know, it's a good way to wake up. Good for you. But did you sauna too? I didn't. No, you didn't really complete the cycle. I didn't complete the cycle. I did press super early. I was super early, seven, you know. That's terrible. But you have to be like ready for it. So yeah, it was good. How'd you get ready? How'd you get ready? The plunge? Got cold. Yeah.

Got cold. It was funny because I was on a press call and they were like, and all your tickets are all sold out. And I was like, that's not true. That's why I'm doing this right now with you.

And they were like, what? And I go, this is a new show we're announcing. I would like tickets to sell. And they were like, oh, okay. I'm like, yeah, do you think I was coming on here just to shoot the shit? Like, I'm here to promote it. Was it terrestrial radio, like old school? Yeah, but it was live. Oh, no. So it was like during drive time, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were sweet. They were like, Topps Girl, tell us what can the audience expect to hear from your act? It's 645 in the morning right now.

And your funny, funny routine. What can they expect to hear? You and your wife make each other laugh all day. You're both comedians. I'm like, all the time, 24-7. I bet your house is just, you crack each other up. It's a barrel of laughs. You're going back and forth. How do you get any works out of it? I bet your kids are funny, too. Yeah, yeah. They are. They're very funny. Okie dokie. We haven't even done the opening clip. We've had so much fun. Well, you're not ready for the opening clip. Uh-oh. And neither is this audience. Okay. Because if you haven't been following this closely...

This is the most excited I've been in a long time doing this show. Are you ready? I'm ready. Here we go. Let's do it.

Beyonce came out with that country song. I'm in Texas. In a couple of days, you're going to see the chef in Texas. I'm going to be doing some great things. I'm going to be doing a podcast. I'm going to be cooking on the set. Any one of you got a podcast? I'm not coming to talk. I don't want to talk. I'm coming to cook. You can talk to me while I cook, while I chef it up. I'm going to post a podcast. For all you non-believers, all you ones that say, he don't cook. I've been cooking for 40 years. 40.

40 years and I ain't gonna stop, baby. You better watch me good, baby. Big shout out to Joe Rogan. Big shout out to Mr. Segura. Can't say his name. Pronounce it wrong. I'm saying it wrong. But anyway, I'm saying it to every one of you. Watch out. Watch out. Watch out. The chef is coming. You heard me.

Wow. Wow. Yes. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura. Mouses. Welcome to your mom's house. I'm going to get back into drumming. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow.

Are you? I mean, this is it.

Nothing could be fancier. This is the power of the internet. You just got to know this guy. And by the way, he shouted out to Rogan. Should we send him over to Rogan's after this? He loves to eat. Joe loves to eat. So, I mean, it would be a real treat. I mean, I'm assuming it might be another $300,000, so I'm not really sure if we're in a position to do that. But maybe I could tell Joe, you know, you can afford it. Could you imagine if we paid to have him cook at Joe Rogan's house?

What the fuck is this? What the fuck did you send over to my house? Fucking fanciest chef in the world. What are you talking about? Oh my God. Stop talking to it. I'm so excited though. I know you are, but you know who isn't is our very own Josh Zolo. I was watching your face when we were playing this and I could just see the look of stress and despair. Well, for people that don't know, Josh has had the, the, uh,

of working with Fancy to get him here. And from what you've said, it hasn't been... I mean, also, to be fair, huge artists are notoriously sometimes difficult to work with. We've been talking for a few weeks, and I mean, you know, we have a lot of great people come through here, and like you said, a lot of artists that can be a little eccentric, a little hard to pin down. They have their requests, but...

Yeah, he's definitely kind of taken the record for most requests and just given me the runaround a little bit. What kind of requests does he make? Yeah, like what's he...

I mean, he's called multiple times about different chef jackets and hats that he needs, and they change every day what he wants. He really wanted one that was embroidered with YMH from a specific company, and then he's like, don't worry about the hat. I'll bring the hat. He just called me. I think you guys heard. He's like, I need hats. You need a pack of hats for me.

um you know all yeah all and he he also requested um a quite a bit of cooking equipment right we have a whole kitchen's worth of everything he could possibly want we have we have the nicest plates and settings and everything he was real big on that i don't fuck with paper plates did you go to home goods though wow okay went to home goods wow

Now the real question, I guess, next, and maybe this will be upon arrival, because we did discuss when we spoke to him last time that I was like, oh, what's on the menu? He was like, fucking anything you want. And I was like, sea bass. And he was like, yeah, I don't really fuck with seafood. And I was like, interesting. But what will actually be cooked?

Is a thing. He keeps saying New York strip, New York strip and red potatoes and seasonal fruit. That's been the update I've gotten. I'm excited for that. Yeah. But my, I'm wondering, will he, how will he fancy it up? Will there be cups and will he put it, cut up the steak, put it in the cup with some strawberries and ranch?

We don't know how he's going to mix all this up. Hey, Picasso, how are you going to paint this woman? You're right. You're right. What am I thinking? I mean, just give me a brush and a canvas and look at the end result. You know what I mean? I know. That's kind of what you're doing there. So he's been a little evasive. A little bit. Okay. Yeah, it's been really hard to lock down any kind of logistics, like where we could pick him up at. Yeah.

arranging cars. Yeah, we actually have a little bit of footage here from your call that you've cut down into multiple clips for us. This call was 20 minutes long trying to just get one answer, which is where can we pick you up?

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So right here he's talking to somebody else? He's on a different call while he's on with me, scheduling a yacht party. Okay.

I'm still here. I'm here. So one thing is for sure, his phone does ring nonstop. Yeah. He's always on a phone call. It also appears like he's blocked me on two of the three numbers. What's that all about, you think? I don't know. I mean, it might be an accident. Mm-hmm.

I did notice that I jumped on one of his lives and the phone rang the entire fucking time. Yeah. The entire time. Is he publishing this phone number on Instagram? All the time. Yeah. Multiple numbers. He gives up multiple numbers all the time. Yeah. He's like, book me, book me, book me. Stop thinking. Book me, book me. 5702. And then he's like, 7202. Hey, it works. It got us. And he's obviously, he's going to meet somebody at the yacht club. And then here's more clips from your phone call with Fancy.

So this was, he was saying, don't send a car service to pick me up. Yeah, yeah. Because we really felt like we need somebody to be with him to ensure that he gets to the airport. Don't know why, but go ahead. And he...

He would not give us an address. And then he said he can't give us one because he's going to be on the move. He's going from event to event. And I'm like, oh, you're not going to be at home. But then he also said he signed an MBA. An MBA, which was why he couldn't give me the address of the event he was going to be at. Interesting. Yeah. You don't know your address? I do. I think. I don't know, Josh. I don't know what to tell you.

Give me a landmark. I'll take a landmark.

A landmark to pick him up. He doesn't have a home address. He says, I don't want to give it to you. He definitely has a home. He's always at home. Right, but he doesn't want to give out where he is because of the MBAs or he's moving around. It could be MBA related. He also didn't end up giving me a landmark either. Oh, he didn't? No. Oh, so...

How did we send a car? Where did we send the car? We finally got an address, which I could not confirm if it was his address or an address, but we sent a car somewhere. But I talked to him this morning and he said he was on the train. To the airport. To the airport.

So he bypassed our offer for a ride and he's on a train. Well, I'm glad we paid for that. Let me see what else we got. Do you live in Miami? Could we put that down for now?

Wow. And he really is an eccentric artist. He really is. Yeah. Yeah. I get it, you know? And especially now that he's blowing up, this is how they are, the great chefs. They do. I'm excited to see his process. I could not be more excited. I'm filled with anticipation because of the fact that it's so unlikely that he will board this plane. Yeah.

So I'm just, I'm, I cannot wait for the message from you tomorrow. I don't know if I'm going to sleep tonight. I'm just going to be waiting for you to be like, we got eyes on him. And that's going to change my whole life. Will he or won't Fancy Shep show up? Will he or won't he? This is the greatest mystery. We'll see. On his live and his phone was ringing, he would answer the phone. He would go, Fancy here. Just answer the phone. Fancy. That's just it.

We don't even know his real name. He's just a fancy guy. He's just fancy. Speaking of future stars that we've discovered, I mean, they're just coming out of everywhere, you know? If you follow my Instagram and you consider yourself a friend of mine, I've got something to request of you. Please tell other people about my Instagram. Yeah. Sure. Got it. I really, really want to grow my social media presence.

And I would consider it an act of friendship who just informed other people about my Instagram and suggested that maybe they start checking my Instagram out. Now you have a lipstick line. Can I tell...

What's going on with hers? You know what? I think this is a great model for my lipstick line. I think you're right. I would love to hire her. I'll tell you what. Laugh if you want. She's engaging. I'm curious to know what's going on in the bathtub. She's splashing water. Splashing is very enticing. I love this, and I want to help her. It's semi-erotic, too. Yeah. My videos, my photographs, and what have you. Okay? Okay.

And so I just want to get that out there. That I would really appreciate it if you would tell other people about me and help me to grow my social media presence.

There's just one. Oh, there's one on the bottom. There's one rogue two feet down there. I like her lipstick. It totally changed the vibe, though. It is. Because she could have just been a normal person, and then she gave herself that pop of color. And that whole time, you know, you're like, are we going to see more? That's what I like about it. It kept me on tender hooks. Yeah. I was like, will we see titties? Yeah. Is she going to flash something? Really interesting. It was cool. What's this thing?

What's this handle? It's denisenow1957 on Instagram. Can you show us real quick? Do you mind? Yeah, that's really exciting. I like Denise. This is more interesting than 99% of the celebrity posts that I see on Instagram. Yeah, let's see. Oh, she has 90,000 followers already? Oh, what? Denise. Oh, wow. She's an author. No. I thought we were...

I'll tell you where I usually see photos like that are on some of those documentaries I watch. Your favorites. Yeah. Oh, hold on. Let's see what else. A whole other color here. Back in the tub. Every horrible thing. Different lipstick too. Yeah. But it was a part of the human condition. Possibly back to prehistorical times. Before reading and writing were invented. There was slavery. Right. Now, in America, we have a very strong association with

between slavery and race and racism. That's true. Is this really appropriate tub talk? Slavery? Slaves and slave owners. Yeah. I was horny and now I'm not. People just didn't have the ability to go to another continent. And that whole time you just see that one victim just peeking out. So seductive. Will you go to the next one? But see she keeps... I've never seen her out of the bath. I kind of want to see it.

I think it's interesting how words take on meaning. Different color lipstick. And symbolisms that are very much beyond what the word actually. I'll tell you what's interesting to me too. Something's not, but something is kind of curious here. Yeah. There's 90,000 followers. Sure. No comments, 66 likes. The math really ain't math as the kids say. She's the disabled writer of the bloodied and the broken.

Justice Gone, Haywire, I Spy, You Spy, They Spy, Ayn Rand at the movies. Ayn Rand at the movies. Okay. I don't know. Click on the Amazon link because that's where you can see her books. Are these self-published? I don't know. She might be limiting her comments too. A lot of celebrities do that. Good point, Annie. That's a good point. These books are, this is what she writes. That's Denise. Yeah, yeah.

Wow, this is, I'm thoroughly confused. I'm very confused. I'm very curious. But we did what she asked, which is get people. These are her books. Is that free? Is it $0? I spy, you spy, they spy? Yeah, the audio book. Yeah, you're right. On Kindle. Oh, it's free. Oh. Okay. It's got five reviews, four stars out of five. That's not bad. No. Ayn Rand at the movies. Ayn Rand at the movies. Ayn Rand at the movies.

That one's got five out of five stars. Look, here's the thing, man. We need to know what's going on with Denise. I just love how she goes to the splashing because it does engage me. And what's going on here? What's the medical stuff going on? Your daughter? Someone's asking. Again, Denise.

Not a lot of explanation going on. That looks like a workspace. Well, it looks like a crawl space. Well, the other one just looked like people at an office, right? And then this other stuff looks like crime scene photos. Yeah, it just looks like, oh, this is Dennis Rader's garage. That's the back of someone's head. It's a really interesting...

terrifying sketches. This, as a behavioral profile enthusiast, if you showed me this at first, I'd be like, oh yeah, this person has committed some horrific crimes. Oh, Will. Oh, then the flowers. She's always in the tub. What's that? What's going on here? Okay, now we're in fishnet. Again. She's dancing. With the fishnets on?

Very beautiful. I love your beautiful, sexy legs. I really think about BTK because he was really in Wichita. But may I, you know something, Tom? I see myself going this way. What? Like, let's say you die before me. You always bring up this scenario. It's always, I'm dying. Because I can see myself going crazy. Really? Absolutely. I'm the woman in the bathtub.

Just thirst trapping, like just putting it out there. This could easily be me. And I have 10 cats. I don't know. You can see it. That's why Annie's laughing because he's like, yeah, look at her. This is me. A lot of engagement here. All of these guys are super into her. That's what I was saying. What's going on here? So she's getting dates. That's how she does it.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, those comments are about to change, sister. You're going to start seeing a lot more stuff that you, you really, you're going to be like, what the fuck does this mean? Oh, oh, knees up, knees up. No, she looks good though. I like her shoes. I'm good. We can, I'm, yeah, this is interesting. Thank you for showing me this. Bloodied and broken. Yeah, that's her book. And there's a, there's a goat. She looks really different there too.

You know, ever-changing, ever-evolving as an artist does. Still that toothy right there. And it's very dark lipstick today. Maybe that's the Christina P collection. I hope so. You know, my new color Berlin looks similar to that. There's her friend Jan at the fucking diner. That guy right there in the middle. It's like he's got a story to tell. I don't know what's going on with him. Brother and father at one of my favorite restaurants.

It's called Oseo or Asian Fusion and it's in Bolivar. And anyway, I'm going to... We got some brothers in arms in these comments though. So that some people are, I built this brick by brick. I don't understand my feed, but I love it. So other people are, yeah, what's the German? Yeah.

Is your dad a WW2 vet? Oh, wow. Thanks for the tour. Hope you enjoyed the crispy chicken. Oh, that's from the restaurant. Well, either way, all we know is this is a great find, okay? This is really rad. This is a great, great find.

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King Ass Ripper. He does have king vibes. Similar physique and process. Big baby. Oh, boy. Is he a baby? Yeah, he's doing the big baby thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what Ass Ripper would taunt us with. Yeah. Harry and Cross. He's a gainer. Is he going to rip? Is he going to rip? Yeah.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. The crazier part is that there's another guy who you can't see who's watching this same video just stroking his dick. You know, being like, God, this is fucking hot. Just loving this.

I will say. Whatever there's, there's always somebody stroking their dick to it. Of course. That's why he's putting it out there. This isn't for women's benefit. No woman wants to see this shit. He has the same burp sound that you do. Yeah. When you. Well, we kind of look alike. No, no. You put your voice at the end of it. Yeah. It always gets me. Yeah. It always makes me laugh. And then your mom gets super upset. And then it makes me laugh even more when she goes, ah. Yeah. Yeah.

You are disgusting. I'd like for somebody to answer me, Korean men or Newfoundland men or Canadian men. Somebody contact me to let me know. Would you like to have someone like me? Oh, I like that at the end. Annie?

I'm not Canadian, unfortunately. That's true. That's the only thing that's making you say no. That's it, because I mean, look, I'd be into it, but yeah, I'm not from Canada. What can I do? You know, big difference between her and the cool guys is that she put her dentures in to make this video. That is true. It's a terrible angle. It's horrible lighting. The message is upsetting and at the very least confusing. Yeah.

But she does have her teeth in. And that's a huge, huge win. It's very rare that they do that. So she put in the effort. She looks clean. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody, and again, somebody's dick is hard. Yeah. Not yours. I'll tell you the one that's made me the most, that I laughed so hard. I sent this video to 50 people when I got it. Oh. Did you send it to me? I don't know if I did. It was a while ago. I actually forgot about it until I saw it in the bank today. Here it is.

what they say i'm trying to move your hair i'm trying to pronounce it and say they didn't i'm just hold on i'm trying to sound it out but you're not sounding the right no no no no they don't say uncle they say it rhymes with uncle funko

The shirt for people listening just says Funko, a fun uncle. And his nephew is clearly just messing with him saying it says fuck. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's what it says. No, no, no, fuck it. Don't say nothing. Now you got me saying it because I'm getting pissed off. You're saying the fucking wrong. You're saying the fucking word wrong. You're saying it about no fuck or nothing. It says Uncle Funko.

Bitch, if you can't get it, if you can't say it, don't say it. Don't say that shit. Because you're pissing me off. Say something to write your damn mouth. Oh, shit, dude. At the end, he's like, fuck off. He's got a fist. He's making a fist, dude. He's going to kill him, dude. Holy shit. He got so worked up by that shit, man. He knew exactly how to wind his ass up. He knew how to wind his ass up.

Do you think it wound him up because he's one of those guys that's like, I don't curse. Yeah. I don't do the cursing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's a harmless... And he probably loves this shirt. Yeah, it's his fave. You know, he's like, I'm Funko. And he probably thought that was really endearing. Oh, Funko. A fun uncle. I like that shit. You know? And he's like, it says, fuck. He's like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Funko. Fuck.

I'm a Funko. And the funny thing is, he's definitely not a Funko. No. He's a beat your ass uncle. For sure. For sure. He's got plastic covering the air conditioning unit. He don't sit on my no fucking nothing. He's so mad. Yeah, he's so mad. He's got murder in his eyes. Look. Uncle Funko.

He does love the shirt because look how worn it is. Oh, he loves it. That's his favorite one. And his fucking, this kid knows exactly what button to press on this guy. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fuck.

Yeah, because he's taking it like, how dare you think I would put on something with cursing on it? Of course, especially I'm an uncle, and you don't want to say a fuck uncle. No, of course. That's terrible. He's like, I know that'll piss him off, so I'm just going to record him losing his shit right now. All right, let's... Amazing. Good stuff. Uncle Funko.

Uncle. Uncle. All right, let's take a quick break. We'll be right back. Say my name. Say my name. Fancy chef. This is the Beyonce, baby. Look how loving, look how nice. 570-604-3868. 702-742-1784. 516-713-9493. Book me. So nice and beautiful.

Wouldn't you like your Thanksgiving tea when I'm like this? Beautiful a night by me, the remarkable Fancy Chef. I'm okay in Atlanta, Georgia. Okay, I'm all booked up.

We have to vote. I'm coming Tuesday. You're coming Tuesday. And that's going to change my whole thing. Will he or won't Fancy Chef show up? Will he or won't he? This is the greatest mystery. How Beyonce said it, I'm going to Texas. I really like this guy. It's amazing. You'll see how beautiful it'll be. And I'm telling you, the podcast is going to go a lot. I'm doing the filming today, so. You're filming? What are you filming?

John Saburo. No way. Yes way. The actor? Yes. Good guy. Turn this off. They're going to ring like crazy. Don't answer. All right.

And welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. Today is a huge, huge day here. We are bringing to you guys live and in person. This is just like a breakthrough type of experience. We've had days, I say, where you mark time. You know, RPC, Charo's famous 9.72 seconds. Of course. And then today. Today.

Today we are bringing to you guys, we couldn't be more excited, the one and only Fancy Chef. Give it up, everybody. Wow. He's here. Yay.

In the flesh. Yeah, I mean, like, we've been, you know, watching the videos. We've been obviously, like, fascinated by this thing. I have to say, first of all, just so it's clear, we are big, big foodies. In other words, we love fine dining experiences. We love chefs. In my mind, hanging out with chefs is a lot like hanging out with any other artist. I see you guys as artists. So I like hanging out with musicians, musicians.

painters, comics, etc. And chefs are like that for me too. So we always have a natural... Yeah, sure. Do we need to take that? Do you want to take it? No, let them take it. Oh, okay. Put them away so they're not going off. Oh, okay. You want them to take the phones away? Yeah, if you don't mind. I don't mind. Tanner. You want to leave them? No, it's up to you, chef. Whatever you want to do. Do you want to leave them out here? I don't want you to miss anything important. I don't know if you need to grab a call. It's fine. Oh, yeah. Okay.

I ain't want to answer on set. Oh, it's up to, sure. Do you want to take them out to the prep area? If I can answer on set, you don't mind? I don't mind if you answer on set. Oh, you don't? Okay, good. I'll answer that call, but that's okay. Okay, okay. So anyway, we've been so fascinated, and I know you're going to do something very special for us. You were giving me a little bit of a teaser out there about today's going to be like, Chef told me,

That he felt inspired and he decided to call an audible, change the menu on the spot, in the moment. And he also said he's going to do something he's never done before. What? So we don't really know exactly what it is yet, but it's a little bit of a secret. Can you give us any hints? Like any hints? I could. I'm hungry, by the way. I came in starving. I haven't had anything to eat today because I knew you were cooking. Tell me, wet my whistle, wet my beak a little. Give us a little hint.

You sure? Yeah. Just give me like a little... Just a little appetizer of what it's going to be. Yeah, just tell me. I want the excitement to be there. Well, I'm excited either way. But it's a great mixture that I've never done before. Okay. It's going to be the first time

But it's not going to be to the point where you'll be like, no. You're really going to scream and shout like, this is it. This is it. So I know how to execute it. I mean, I'm... Without ever doing it, I know how to execute it. Of course. You're a master of your craft. I know how to execute it. Trust me. Now, one of the things you said, because everybody's interested in people's background. You started in the kitchen when you were four. I did. And did you ever go... I imagine, did you work in restaurants growing up? Did you go to culinary school? Did you travel abroad and work in... Like, a lot of chefs have...

Certain paths. What was your path? So I'm going to tell you a real funny story. Okay. But let me go start from the beginning. So I did start at four. I started in the kitchen as a little child with my mom and my dad. My dad was actually a Navy chef in the Navy. Okay. My mom actually learned from her parents. So what I would do is at four, I would get the pot.

Get the pan, fill this up with water. You actually sometimes stand me on the platform to get to the stove or to the water to fill it up or get the potatoes or something like that. And it never left me from there on.

So what I did do was I went abroad as I grew and one of the first places I got into airline catering. - Airline catering, like Delta? - No, they were, we did British Airways first class of business class, BWEE first class of business class. There's kitchens in New York. - Would you do the thing where you would design the menu for that airline?

Like you would design what passengers are going to have? No, later on. Okay. Because when I started, there was a chef there called Russo. And I was young. And Russo at first didn't believe in me. So he stuck me in the cold kitchen. So he stuck me in the cold kitchen. He seen my speed. He said, come here. I came to him. I said, what's the matter, chef?

I didn't know he was so fast. I didn't know he was so good. So the hot kitchen is more advanced. Right. So tomorrow you're coming in at 6 a.m. He could sense how fast you were. He did. You're going in the hot kitchen. I was excited. I ran home and I told my mom. And he took me and toured me the kitchen, stuff I had never seen before, really. The tall kettles that you cook in, the commercial kitchens, airline, hotels, so on and so forth. And she said, that's good. See what learning from home did for you?

So that was one of my first places that I got a taste of commercial. And then was it on to restaurants from there or just private cooking? No, it was on to restaurants. I actually had a good friend. Wow, you're really blowing up. Who was into it. It was in that neighborhood. Yeah. And this is when I went to Rockefeller Center in New York City.

two restaurant associates, Savory's, I was telling you about Seppi Ringling. So there was three restaurants in the row they had. Savory's to the left was American Festival Cafe, to the right was the Seagrill, where Chef Seppi Ringling

I learned up under him as well. So I advanced early. But this is interesting because you said to us on the phone call that you didn't prefer to work with seafood. Is there a history at the seafood restaurant? Well, you got to tussle with a lot. And the tussle is cracking, opening, so on and so forth. Shells, so on and so forth. But the big thing is,

Yeah. Yeah. So that's, that's, that's a turnoff. So it can be, if you ain't in, if you're not in the mood for that, then you don't want to do it. Tell me about strawberries. Cause they so clearly have influenced you. You know, Dali was known for clocks.

in his work and I feel like when somebody says fancy chef I go strawberries this guy has a thing he loves strawberries is there an origin story there or are you I feel like there's a connection between you and strawberries it is and the connection that I have with the strawberries is they have a very distinct smell to them a great taste they're very bright and the contrast that they give off

is exceptional. Yeah. Because you'll throw them in things that people don't expect. You know what I mean? Yeah. I do. That's exciting. Yeah. And the reason why I do is because

Sometimes my mom would tell me to. Sometimes it's not planned. That's something I've seen from your posts is you have a very stream of consciousness way of cooking. You feel something in the moment. It is very artistic, right? It is. Yeah. It really is. It is. Can I ask you, are these people that are trying to book you that are contacting you right now on your phones? Are these bookings? They are. Wow. They are.

Can you tell us, I mean, I know you've signed many NBAs. Can you tell us one of the most exclusive clients you've worked for? No. No. I can't tell you who it is, though. Can you give us a hint, maybe? Can you tell us what the scenario was without telling us who it was? Acting, are they actors, are they business people? No.

All of the above. Huh? All of the above. All of the above. And they have you on yachts and in mansions and everything? Yeah. Wow. This guy here isn't really too much. I didn't sign an MBA with him. But he was one of my first ones. And I'll tell you his name. Daniel Green. Oh, Daniel Green. He drew for the comic books Marvel. Okay. Oh, that's nice. And he had you... He had me. He had... In New York, in the town of...

Kingston, New York. I could say I thought about it. When I did, he was about 75. Here they are. Jewish, excited. Yeah. And I did good. He was just so excited for everything that I did. But Daniel Green, he was a drawer for the Marvel comic. Oh, there it is. Yeah. Daniel Green. Yeah.

Do you remember what he liked to eat? What did you cook? He didn't care. He didn't care. That's even better. He trusted your artistic. Everything I made, he was just fascinated with the artistry of it. He was just enthused over it. Basically, because I don't want people to waste your time,

Can you tell people what kind of price range they need to be in if they're even looking to book you? Because chefs come in different levels and tiers of pricing. Like what should people be expecting if they're even thinking about reaching out?

You got to think big. Think big. You got to think that all those investments you made. Yeah. You got to think about bringing them here. Wow. Because you don't want to eat. Because you could go to so many different places and do that. McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, White Guy. You could go there and do that. But when you deal with all this street and the level of chefs and the level of food. That you're dealing with. Yeah. Paying should be like, no problem. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

- So if somebody says, hey chef, I'm having eight people, I'd like to do a multi-course dinner, are they thinking like five figures, six figures? Is that reasonable?

It is. Actually, there should be no price range. No price range. No. Because you got to think about it. If you want the best, if you want lavish, if you want fabulous, if you want fancy, why would it be? You think about it from this standpoint. No limit. I look at fur coats. I look at clothes, right? Yeah. On different levels. So a fur coat has two reasons to it, two meanings. And the two meanings is...

temperature and how you look yep so if you warm yes it's so funny i was this close to wearing a fur coat to meet you and i thought that's too hot out so yeah so the thing about it is you got you got to look at that yeah and you say wow and there's different levels of furs there are black llama you have uh

So many different. And there are pieces and there are whole pieces of furs. So if you get the pieces, they cost less. If you get the whole, it costs more. But it is fancy. Unlimited is nice, but just so people have like a ballpark. They should be prepared to spend $100,000 at least for a good dinner. Why not? Yeah, no, I agree. No, we're just, yeah. We agree. You can...

Minimize and you can work with a person. Normally those people that, because my background in those places. Yeah.

Limitless. Well, let's do this right now. I mean, we're so excited to get this going. Why don't we get you out into the prep area with your sous chef, Tanner, and you guys can start prepping. We'll check in with you regularly. And then when the meal is ready to go, you come back in here and we'll do our tasting together. Does that work? It does. Great. All right. Wonderful. Awesome. Thank you, chef. Thank you. All right.

All right. We just kind of stepped down there for a second to get Chef started. How incredible is this? I mean, look, it's been quite a whirlwind week for us here at YMH because we weren't sure he was even going to show up. It was a lot of anticipation. And there was a lot of excitement last night when you got the notification. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Oops. The eagle had landed. The eagle had landed in Austin. Thank you. Watch your head. And...

And then the excitement of him going live on Instagram. We were watching in bed. Yeah, it was incredible. It was incredible. So yeah, this is going to be exciting. What do you anticipate for the meal? I feel like... It looks like we have the first course coming in. You're kidding! Already? Already? Jesus. That was so fast. Okay, chef, watch your head. So we're going to do what we talked about. Okay. Which is one of them.

Okay. Oh, wow. One of the dishes is ready to go. One dish is ready to go. Literally, what, four minutes? This is one of my favorites. This is one of your favorites. Which is the strawberries. Strawberries. Yes. Unbelievable plating of strawberries. Gorgeous. You actually want to...

Give a color contrast, like using those words. Okay. And brighten the area and brighten it up. Okay. And also give a great smell. Excellent. That's what we want. These look incredible. They look fresh. So we'll go ahead and we'll start with those. Thank you. Okay. Tom, would you like me to serve you a strawberry? I would love one. I am a huge fan of strawberries, actually. I'm just going to go ahead and take this one. Yeah, wow. Let's see. Okay.

They've been washed. I wonder if it had anything to do with my mentioning it. I don't know at this point. Listen, he came with a plan. That was... Cheers. Wow. First course. Cheers, first course. A plate of strawberries. Did they call this an amuse-bouche in fine dining? Well, fancy, delicious. Beautiful and nice. Yeah. I have no idea how he just did that. That was so fucking good. Wow. Wow.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. There's so many more. Yeah. I didn't realize you had prepared so many. Actually, this is a really, really sweet, delicious. It's a nice strawberry. He's right. It really sets up your palate. Mmm. No. You know what's so funny is you do love fine dining. I do. This is your most favorite genre. And we went, we were in Amsterdam. Yeah.

It's funny because Heather was going to ask me what my least favorite meal was. Oops, my mic cut out. Now it's back. And it was a fine dining meal we had in Amsterdam. I didn't enjoy it either. You know, I didn't enjoy it either. You really roll the dice on...

tasting menu style places. I mean, it means that they're competent at what they do. Sure. But that might not be for your palate. And I wasn't a big fan of that either. Well, I'll tell you what. I also had a tasting menu in Madrid that I didn't enjoy. But it was like...

It was a little too experimental. No, it's too fancy. Can I be honest with you? And I know we have Danish listeners. I wasn't a fan of the Dane food, period. I don't think they're offended. I don't think they're fans of it either. Yeah, they told us. Because I was like, where should we go eat? You don't want to eat this bullshit. I was like, what's the nicest? Send us to the best Danish restaurant. And they're like, oh, you don't want to eat that. To be clear about the Madrid experience, I am a huge fan of Spanish food. This wasn't the restaurant style. It was...

experimental seafood stuff. I hate, I don't like that shit. It really wasn't. You know, as a fan of Anthony Bourdain, rest in peace, he would always talk about his loathing of when chefs tortured the food. Yeah. I agree. I don't want to see anything freeze-dried or essences of don't torture the food, just give me, but by the way, our guy, high quality ingredients. Incredible. And one chef told me one time,

You know who it was? Do you remember when we were going to do Naked Sushi? Yeah. We were going to book Naked Sushi? Yes. So I talked, Naked Sushi was like where they have like a model. Yes. Who's mostly nude and you eat sushi off of her and you have like guests there. And it was supposed to be just like the fun, I don't know, experience of that all. Yeah. So I talked to that chef and I had like a tasting thing for him. I don't know what it was. But anyway, he said this thing I never forget.

which is the food is always the star. So you have to get great quality food. And then Fancy Chef brings in these strawberries and you're like, yeah, lesson learned. Definitely. Because those aren't just, anybody could just give you whatever strawberry. No. And he went and picked super high quality ones. Yep. Very fancy and very nice. So far, so good. So far, so good. What's your rating, Tom? Oh, right now we're fucking, I guess 12 stars. Isn't that the scale? Yeah.

Yeah, pretty maze. Let's look at the camera. Just the camera feed is fine. Oh, look at him. Fancy's cooking. Fancy's in there with Chef Tanner. Chef Tanner learning. See, he's handing him a knife. Okay. Got proper technique. Slicing and dicing. Wow. Yeah, this is exciting. I know. Hold on. Can I tell you something? Yes. I got a picture of the old lady who reads the dirty book in the waiting room today. Again, this is like the same lady? This is her.

And I was so fucking, I was so stoked because I finally know I can read the title. I took a sneaky pic of her. I won't post it because this is someone's grandma. Okay. She's almost done with the book. She made a lot of progress since yesterday. The book is called Hidden Secrets Between Them.

And it's a very horny cover. I mean, from what I can tell. Anyway, look how far she got. Yeah, I can tell. She's almost done. She doesn't even look up. Hidden secrets between them. Maybe it's not even horny, but it felt horny to me. Or maybe it's too gay. Yeah, it's totally horny, right? An uplifting, inspirational romance. That's what it says. Oh, bullshit, dude.

And by the way, aren't all secrets by definition hidden? I feel like it's redundant to say hidden secrets. These are open secrets between them. Yeah. Let's see. Can we read a little bit? Yeah, we should be able to. And it's inspirational. There's a little teaser there. Chef's coming in. Oh, already? Oh my God, we're already in. Course two. Course two. This is so fast. This is part of the pricing. Watch your head. Watch your head, everybody. Okay, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to

Come here. Yes, sir. I want to do it right before your eyes. Okay. Okay. I'm going to have this. Yes, chef. Give me a bigger plate. Yes, chef. Okay. Again, I always talk about color. Oh, shoot. That's all right. It's okay. It happens. You know? Can we soak that up? Sorry about that. All right.

What happened, Chef? It spilled over. Tanner, you weren't fucking here. That's what happened. I'm sorry. This definitely goes on you, Tanner. Yeah, dude. You're supposed to be next to him helping him. Sorry, Chef. Okay, good. Good job. You can just take the paper, Tanner. Are we filming? Yes, Chef. We are filming. Okay, good.

So we're going to do color contrast. We're going to go Italian. Okay, color contrast. We're going to go Italian. We're already at... We should mention, by the way, the strawberries were unbelievable. So good. So now we are on the second course, or it looks like we have some burrata. Okay. And some heirloom tomatoes. Yes. I'm going to go...

So you're going tomato, cheese, tomato, cheese, tomato. I like that. Okay. So the key point here is you want to go middle. You want to go in the middle. Okay. You want to go middle. Yeah, walk us through your thinking right now. Excitement.

Over joy. Okay, so I want to go here. There we go. And? Right? So we go in the middle. Yeah. Spread out. Spread out. Let me have... Good job, Tanner. Good thinking. Yeah, cover things. Okay, we're going to go here. Some balsamic here. Some balsamic. Wow. Beautiful. Ooh, look at the drizzle technique. I like that. Okay, you can tell there's years behind that. Let me have the olive oil. Yes, chef. Olive oil right here. So we're going to go olive oil.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That's a generous. I know. Yes. I actually wanted a spiral. Oh, yeah. Okay, good. Because I like olive oil, too. So do I. And it's good for you, Tom. So it's even in there? It's okay. It's even out? Yes. Your chef got no tricks. That's good. You got no tricks. Wow. Okay, look. So now we're going to put the finishing touches. Okay. The finishing touches. Is that? The basil. The basil. Wow. All right. And again, generous size. Yes.

- All right, so we go in. - Basil. - Yes, nice. - I love basil too. - I do too. - And he knows that. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yes, all right. - I like that. - Not too much. You don't wanna overshadow the dish. - It's important to also point out some of your intuitive nature, 'cause we didn't even fill out a preference sheet. You're doing this without us having relayed to you what some of our favorites are, and right out of the gate, there's two in a row, it's incredible. - Beautiful, I like it. - Great.

Second dish ready to go. All right.

Very good. Second course. Tom, I'll let him try it because he's the, Tom is the discerning palate of the two of us. Wow. Thank you. I appreciate that. I am like a trash dog with my palate. Yeah, sure. You are refined. You're welcome. Wow. That looks gorgeous. Thank you, sir. Okay. Really nice. Yeah. Everything good with the hot food coming through? Yes, indeed. It's going good. You're prepping for that? Yes. Okay, good. Okay, great. You ready? Yes. Thank you, chef. We look forward to the next one. No problem. Oh.

Yeah, this is exciting. This is really exciting. Very exciting. Also, interesting bit of information, Zolo, is that nothing has been done to start hot food, is what I was just told. Oh, really? That's just an interesting choice, I think. You know, he's timing it out, though. He's a master.

A generous helping of basil. It is. A generous amount of olive oil. And he plated it lovely. It is beautifully plated. Yeah, this is incredible. Yeah, the plating is lovely. He put a ton of basil on there. Why are you scooping it up? I'm moving it to see what else I can... It was such...

a large piece that I couldn't see what was underneath it. Yeah. It's like a basil salad with some tomato and mozzarella. I love it. I love it. Look at them. They're working away. They're on to the next dish. Do you want to know what I noticed, however? Yes. I didn't see him season it. I didn't see salt and pepper. Which I'm a fan of. Salt and pepper. Of course. A lot of people are. But I also have to think,

There's a reason for that. That's what I'm saying. Chef's not going to do anything without having a pretty good reason for it. Of course. So here we go. I'll slice it in two because we're each going to have a bite. Okay. This is very exciting. Wow. Wow, so much oil too. I like that. You know, olive oil, very healthy. The Mediterranean diet is supposed to be the most healthful. Wow. It's just absolutely just swimming in oil. It's incredible.

I think I'll let you be the taster. No, we're both going to take bites. I'm good. We're taking bites. Well. Wow. Juicy. You can taste the oil. What about that basil? You can taste that too. Here you go. Here's your bite. No, no, no. I'm good. I believe you. You need to try it. It's very juicy. There's oil on my jacket already. You know what? It's $45,000. You're taking a bite.

Fair enough. Boy, that is... I know you love your basil. Yeah. There we go. Let's see. I cut you into a quarter there. Look, it just dripped on my thumb. It's good. It's dripping on the table. It's very oily and juicy. Yeah, I like that. Very fancy, very nice. Very fancy. There's oil all over the table. There's oil on my jacket. Another home run. Well done, chef. That's very oily. But...

Beautifully plated. Absolutely. And what a thrill to watch him work. To see it happening in the moment, yeah, it really is something. You don't get that at fine dining. You know what it reminds me of, probably a little bit of? It's kind of like somebody invited you over to Prince's house. Yeah. And they're like, oh, he's just teetering on the guitar today. And you're like, what? And then you just get to like,

You hear a couple notes getting strummed, you know, like ding, ding, ding. Oh, yeah. And you're like, oh, I'll just hang back. And then an hour later, he's like, I just wrote a new song. You're right there. It's kind of like. This is just the beginning. I know. And he hasn't even started cooking the hot stuff yet. Now, let's go back to my horny novel because I am so interested. I don't think it's a horny. Okay, but let's look at the pages. Do we have page selections in there? Hidden secrets between them. Christian book distributors. I know, but it's supposed to be horny. The opposite.

Okay. He never meant to be a father. Let's see here. I was hoping it was hornier than this. I mean, it is. Okay. Are those images there on a page? Yeah. Okay. Let's do it. You have to tell him.

You have to tell him, standing in the kitchen of the house she'd just signed a six-month lease on, Kristen Reynolds sighed, I know, Mom. It was all she'd thought about since Dr. Olson gave her the good news that, despite their concerns of her being a single mother, she'd convinced them she was the right person to run the urgent care center that would soon open in Hope Crossing, Texas.

As a nurse practitioner, the move was a chance. This is so boring. This is your fucking choice. I know, but I wish it was hornier. I'm just saying I can't imagine people read this stuff. I mean, you saw the lady who's reading it. I know. I was hoping it was better. Do you even read fiction? I feel like I can't stand fiction. I can't stand descriptions. It's not my favorite. It's not my favorite either. Let me play you an opening clip I've been wanting to share with you for a while. Well, I'm disappointed that that wasn't hornier. That's okay. In my mind. No, it's a bummer.

I know. It would have been awesome if it was like the pussy juice was dripping down her lip. I know. That would have been nice. I did talk to a deaf woman today in the waiting room. That's cool. And that was cool. I could tell she was reading my lips and stuff. Wow. You should bring that lady one of our books, one of the Quan Mills novels or something. Yeah, I noticed you were reading a book last week. I brought you another one. That's a really good idea. I know. I will. You want to talk shit, you fucking losers? What's up? I'm here on the beach. What the fuck is up? Wow. Wow.

That was cool, huh? I like that a lot. Look at him just in there working away. I wonder what he's prepping for the third course. Do we know if there's dessert today? I'd hope so. We're paying him. Oh, because I kind of practice and set it out so that I would have a cheat meal. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Yeah, we got dessert. Okay. I've been really restrictive, you know, and I was like, well, if you're going to get off the health train, you want it to be worth it.

Of course. It's going to be, babe. No, that's what I'm saying. I was like, did he bring dessert? So wait, what's this guy? I don't understand where the blood is coming from. What the fuck is up? I'm not convinced it's real, the blood. I think it's very real. You think so? It's kind of really bright and perfectly placed. Do you want to talk shit, you fucking losers? What's up? Oh, I also got a notification from my black friend. She texted me this morning.

And she goes, she goes, I lost my glasses. Um, black people don't use vinegar to clean a chicken. Damn it. Have that chef make a black Thanksgiving. That would be hilarious. Really? Yeah. She's like, black people don't do that. I guess I said that or someone must've said that. Like, Oh, is this a black person thing? It's no, it's not. Is what I'm trying to tell you. I have heard washer chicken, um,

In the black community before. Oh, okay. Maybe not with the vinegar. I had heard the wash thing for sure before. Have you any?

Sorry, I just got back in. You said washing chicken? Yeah, have you heard that as a culturally black thing before? I don't know if it's a culturally black thing. I mean, yeah, washing shit is probably good, right? Yeah, but with vinegar. I don't know if I would do it with that. I don't know if I would do it with a toothbrush, particularly the tongue scraper part. I don't know if I would do that, but yeah, I might wash it though. Okay. Just making sure. Just trying to learn, you know. Yeah.

Anyways. We've been watching the Menendez Brothers show on Netflix. I forgot how cool those guys were. I know, I forgot too because that happened when I was young. I can't believe it because it feels to my memory like...

oh i don't know somewhere in the 90s yeah maybe it's because the trial was later right that's probably yeah when is the menendez trial because i remember that going on and on and my parents watching it every night yeah and i know they killed their parents oh 93 so that's why july 2093 it starts so it's four years after the murders yeah so that's why it felt like it took place um

Yeah, and funny too now, the way they make this show is they're making it sympathetic to the brothers, you know? Which is such a 2024 thing to do. I don't think they're trying to make it sympathetic to the brothers. I think they are. I think they're making it out. How do you gather that? Well, they're just like setting up the parents to be shit turds, you know? Yeah, but it's still showing it as...

pretty much pretty clearly first degree premeditated murder. Yeah, that's true. I don't think it's, I don't think it's sympathetic to them. I do think they're fucking like probably fun guys though. Of course they're fun guys. Yeah. Like you watch it and you're like, I like these guys, you know, they're nice guys. Couple of cool kids. And of course the whole time we're like, Oh no, is that Ellis and Julian? The hairpiece thing is wild.

Oh, yeah. Everybody's like, these are your sons. Is this my kid? Is my kid going to fucking do this? Yeah, they look like new kids on the block sitting down there. So he's got his hair piece on, which I think is amazing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Isn't that crazy? Look how different he looks. Yeah. Hair really does. I have wigs coming up in this show. Oh, cool. For different things. It totally changes. It changes you so dramatically. Hair is everything. I know. It's wild, dude.

I tried to watch a murder show that you recommended. Yeah, so I get the best text. I would say the best text you've ever sent me. Wow. And you said, I'm ready to get into murder shows. I mean, I literally stopped what I was doing and I was like, I've been waiting fucking 20 years for this text. I get so excited. You go, give it to me. Give it to me, Mark. Give it to me, Mark. Give it to me. I'll watch whatever you want to watch. And I'm in Florida and I go, I kind of run through my...

Rolodex of Dead Bodies, and I go, ah, I got one for you. Why don't you check out, because it's fantastically done, American Nightmare, which came out, I don't know, six, nine months ago, whatever. And I go, how was it? You go, I lasted five minutes. I think I should have been more Pacific in that I don't like...

cute little 20 year old girls getting murdered in their apartments that's what that one was she wasn't murdered too close she wasn't murdered i like serial killer i think that's the difference is i want to know about dark souls like i like the menendez brothers i'm actually really on board with that okay because i could put myself in their position where you're like i kind of hated my parents too so you want to watch a serial killer doc

Yes, but that's why I like the Menendez brothers. Well, that's not a serial killer doc. No, no, but they're killers and they're dudes and the people they kill, you're like, oh, I could see that. I could see how you could do that as a young person too. So you want this victim accountability as in your decision making here. Maybe, a little bit. Wait, I mean, couldn't you see yourself kind of possibly doing it at their age? Well, everybody entertains that. They're mad at your parents. I hate my parents, you know.

Taking it to that where they did is obviously, you know, other level. You know, while we're doing this, why don't we just take a moment here? Can we check in with Fancy Chef and Chef Tanner? I don't know if he'll be able to hear the ringing with the cacophony of other beeps and rings. Okay, let's see. Oh, he's reaching in his pocket.

oh he just put it away guys he just and now he just ran away i love this okay this is excellent right here i really love this hanner so yes we want him to answer yeah what does he think is his mom calling i didn't need the oil i didn't need the oil what the dude and i don't want to saturate it too much and change the flavor in it that's not something is he are we good

Okay. Tanner's a strange one. Strange bird, that kid. I have your salt, chef. Here we go. We're back. Yes, chef. Okay, Tanner, what's going on? We have a live feed. We're watching you guys cook. Tell me what's going on right now. So right now, we're cooking prosciutto. Okay. We're getting it. Are we sautéing the prosciutto, chef? Yes. She says we're sautéing the prosciutto. Getting it nice and crispy. We got to get it crispy. Yes, chef?

Okay, and then we are boiling water, Chef, right? For the pasta. Okay. I'm going to go grab the pasta now. Okay, I'll let you go. I'll let you go. I'll call back later. He's frantic. He's in the heat. Exciting. There's a lot going on. We have got boiling water. Look at Chef. He's rubbing his hands. He knows he's doing something pretty incredible. Flipping stuff. He's definitely done that before. He's doing his thing. Stuff like that. Wow.

Curious to see where did Tanner go?

I'm not sure, but... Tanner's grabbing the pasta inside. Yeah, he's got to do what Chef tells him to do. So wait, I can show you... I can give you serial killer docs. Yeah, I'd like that. But you just want to know what their kind of victim profile was first? No, no. Now that I think about it, why I like the Menendez brothers is that it's something I could see myself doing. I actually like the ones that I'm more relatable to, like husband murders. Are there a lot of those?

I like to see that, like where he's snoring and snoring and then she stabs him to death or something like that. So it's important to note that the Menendez Brothers one you're watching currently is a scripted one. There's a doc that has just come out that I would like you to watch. The docs are, that's where the good stuff is. That's where the sweetness is. Yeah, that's when you really get the true insight, when you get the real images and the real audio and everything.

I'll have a few of those on deck for you. Okay. If you're down. I can't watch them alone. Okay, I'll watch them with you. I'll watch them 50 times again. They're so fucking entertaining. So fun. I watched. And then when they end, I go,

Night, night. Good night. I watched Blink Twice. Blink Twice? With Channing Tatum. Yeah. Because I heard on TikTok that that's what P. Diddy's parties were kind of like and what it's like to be sex trafficked. So Tatum plays a Diddy-like character? Mm-hmm. It was pretty wild. It was a good movie. Kind of a goofball? Yeah, kind of a guy, a weird guy doing weird stuff. It was a great movie.

Really good, huh? Because you're like, how do you get sex trafficked? Like, how does that happen? It's not like you just get snatched from the airport. Yeah. You know? It's a slow seduction. I mean, spoiler alert, guys, but this is just like the ABCs of sex trafficking. I think I'm in a sex trafficking wormhole vortex. Like, I'm really interested in it now. So, like, yeah, they're kind of, they're courted and they're seduced. Mm-hmm.

And then given drugs, you know? And then you just are like, you don't remember stuff. Stuff happens. And you start kind of slipping. Oh, and Zoe directed, and she's dating Channing. Oh, that's cute. She directed her own, her boyfriend. Her boo-boo. That's a hot couple. Jeez. Yeah. Too good looking.

Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, us moms are always worried about getting snatched in the airport. That's not how it happens. It's a slow seduction. You just trust a dude. And that's what Diddle did. That's right. Diddle would have these parties and probably make big promises and then drugs for sure. Lots of lube. We know that. Dildos. And then all of a sudden you're like, I guess I could fit three in there. Did he? Three in you. But that's why I like I like this kind of stuff because you're like, wow, can I sex drive?

Could you be sex trafficked? A, could I be sex trafficked? And absolutely, yes. If Channing Tatum had caught me at like 18 or 19, just dumb as shit and mesmerized by his fame, and you're like, and then he's like, do you want to go to this island? Yeah, fly private? What? Of course. But then you think, could I be the one doing the traffic gang? To be a violent...

psychopath and like yeah I feel like we're all able you think you're capable of that I don't know you put some drugs in me some ketamine that you could be the trafficker the dark side of you is like okay kind of yeah see the allure like darkness you know yeah

I don't know. Doesn't everybody have that? Don't you feel like it's hard to not embrace? That's what I'm saying. Like, why do some people, like, I choose not to do that, obviously. Yeah. But, like, what's in some people that they're like, that's okay. I'll just follow these. They embrace it. They lean in. Yeah. Everybody has darkness in them.

And then some people go, I don't want to let, I'm not going to embrace it. Some people go, I'm going to lean into it. So what is that? What's the difference? That's the human experience. What are you talking about? I know. I guess that's why I like it. Cause like any, you could do it. We're all capable, but we just make a conscious choice. Stealing and killing is all, it's like darkness within people. Yeah. I know. And you either resist it or you embrace it.

I know. It's good and evil. Because when I was, you know, when you're young and a teenager, you start to dabble in the darkness. You're like, can I steal? And I remember I stole lemon heads, a box of lemon heads from Michael's, or Spencer's. You get a rush. And I got caught. The guy caught me. Yeah. And he's like, do you want to put that back? And I was like, am I arrested? And he's like, just put it back. And I was like, okay, that was a sign from God. I'm not meant to steal. And how old were you? 13. Yeah. So that was like, okay. Good age to learn it.

but yeah good age to learn it check this out sure very bumpy road that made me feel gross she would love to get s trafficked you think so oh yeah i love this lane so do you like this bikini yes all right i've been looking for this for two days

I have so many clothes because I have a couple of YouTube channels that I model clothing on. And I wanted to model this the other day and I couldn't find it. I did find it, but now I'm missing a dress. What do you think? Let me know. Let me know. So thirsty. I appreciate you. So thirsty. Let me know. I appreciate you. She's sweet. She's got them black lady bus driver tits.

Those are the kind I had. Those are my tits. And every time I see a lady with big old slops like that, I'm like, I hope she's getting an MRI, breast MRI. I had a six inch cancer dick in one of mine. And I had black lady bus driver tits. Big ones. Those black bus drivers do have big tits. They do? What is that? I don't know. It's part of the requirement. That and like the black ladies that work at the DMV always had big tits too. Yes, and cafeteria. Yeah, always. I think it's part of the interview. They're like, how big are your tits? Yeah.

Do you have triple G's? And they're like, yeah. And they're like, you can come in. Yeah. You can work. You can work for the transit system. Unbelievable. Oh, geez. I don't think so. What do you think of this lady? I do like that we're doing women, though. Oh, my God.

I hate this. Yeah. I hate her highlights. They're wrong. They're bad. You know, that's so like 98. I hate a lot of it. I know. I didn't like that. Yeah. Oh, Tanner. It looks like he's rushing to grab the broom. Something broke. Something broke maybe. Well, it happens, you know. Yeah, that's. Burn this cloth. I'll put it on this cloth right here. All right, good. Okay.

Oh, shoot. Oh, no. I mean, kitchens are messy. You can't get mad about that, you know? You can't get mad about that. Here's another thing of cool women. Did you know that the same God that made that made you too? What? Yeah, I'm really digging these Christian talks. Yeah. Yeah. They get so, so pumped over Jesus. They really love it, man. I also feel like this lady right here who's so into Jesus, it like,

Kind of crazy to me that she's so tatted up. I just don't usually think of the two together. Yeah, they're usually nerds. And she's young. Mm-hmm. No, she must have found Jesus after the tats is what I'm thinking. She led a fun life and then was like, I better reign this in. I got to clean this up. And that's when you find JC. Yeah. Yeah, I love when they get so pumped over the Lord. But could you imagine feeling that much joy for your Savior in Christ? I mean, it's got to be great.

If you could, yeah, if it's in you. To feel that? I know. It's only Christians, though. It's so weird. You never see Muslims do this. So true. You never see Jewish people do this. Only people, well, probably because Christ is the only real Lord. Well, of course. But the only...

Christians get this excited, you know? You know why? I think because they pump it like, Jesus loves you, Jesus loves you, but you don't ever hear like, Muhammad loves you. No. Yahweh loves you. They don't give a fuck about you. They don't give a fuck. It's mostly like, don't do bad things, otherwise you'll be stricken down, smoted, smited.

Yeah, nah, this is fucking amazing. I wish I had this joy. Oh, you're looking... Oh, what, the bags of seafood are out in the sun, huh? He's got Tanner running back and forth, too. Man. I wonder which seafood he's gonna start with. I don't know. He's checking out his equipment right now, his seasoning. Basil, chef. More basil. He really likes basil. Huh. Huh.

Well, I'm just, I'm elated. Let me... Is he still, he's going to put... You know what I realized? He's still putting basil on tomatoes. That's fine. Are we not past that? I don't know. He's basil-ing tomatoes still.

This was 20 minutes ago we left him. Look, you don't question the process. That's something I've learned. I know. I cook fast, you know. I'm much faster. I'm not a Michelin star. That's what I'm saying. You can't do that. Dude, I get it. I get it. So I feel like I'm actually a fan of poetry. Really? Yeah, but it's like. I hate it.

I think you kind of do like it if it's presented the right way. In other words, you know, someone doing like slam poetry. I hate it. You want to die. Right. And then, I don't know, some of the older traditional poems, I just get, I'm not. I don't understand it. I got to be honest. But some modern day like takes on poetry, I do get emotional with and I do enjoy them. So I pulled one for you. Oh, thank you. Okay.

Let me lick it, let me lick it, let me lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it, please. Lick, lick, lick, all night long. Lick, lick, lick, down to the bone. Lick, lick, lick, lick it till it dry. Lick, lick, lick, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lick, lick, lick, no, mm. Lick, lick, lick, no, mm.

Lick it in the bed. Lick it on the floor. Make sure you make it to the big old. Lick it slow. Lick it fast. Lick it, lick it slow. Lick it fast. Okay, I'm going to throw up. Lick it slow. Lick it fast. I can't. And spank, spank, spank. Spank that ass. Okay. All right, I'm done. That was awesome. What do you think? I hate it. Why do you hate it? I hate these. I just... You don't want it to be like...

You don't want to be licked slow or fast? Oh, stop. What? I don't want to. Lick it slow. Stop. Lick it fast. Tom. Look. I don't want to lick it to the bone. That part really like, ew, like it's going to lick the meat off. You know what I mean? I don't like that. Kick next. I don't like it. Okay. That makes me sick. You're so hard to fucking. I hate these guys. Well, today is a food centric episode. So I thought that you might enjoy stepping into the food space.

You drink red wine, as you know, pepperoni is really greasy. And I love pepperoni. Yeah. I like pizza, but I love pepperoni. So what I do is I take pepperoni. I chew it up really well. Yeah. I get the juices and grease in my mouth. Yeah. Both sides of my cheeks. Sure. That sounds lovely. Then I sip my red wine. Plenty of ice. Ice in the red wine. Oh, man.

Way around my mouth. Ugh. I love feeling the grease come out of my cheeks and down my throat. Excellent way to drink wine and learn how to drink wine. Get the greases out of your palate and down your throat. Yeah. What do you think of...

That was vile. Of pairing up fancy chef with fancy sommelier trucks here. I would love that. And having, because wine pairings are really fun to do. See, the thing is, sometimes you go to these restaurants and they go, would you like a wine pairing? And you're like, eh, I'm not, I don't really care. But then you get somebody who's really like, really well-informed.

And it changes the whole experience. No, I know. And pepperoni. You go, what the fuck was this? You can't even believe how good it is. But most sommeliers don't pair pepperoni. They're afraid to. Okay. And most chefs don't bring out strawberries as a first course. Most people don't just eat a plate of pepperoni on its own. That's very bold. But you're not a sommelier, are you? Looks like they're headed in with the next course. Holy shit. Oh, I'm ready. I'm starving, Marvin. Wow. Wow.

This is exciting. I hope it's a plate of pepperoni. I'm really ready for a plate of pep. Nobody eats a plate. Even like, no, my dad wouldn't even eat a plate of pep. And he's pretty hardcore. Pretty hardcore. With plates of salami and shit. Third course. Oh, shit. Plate hit the door. That could have been a disaster. I got it. Okay. Oh, wow. Watch your shoulder, chef. Okay.

That's, holy cow. This looks stunning. All right. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. What are we looking at here, Chef? So what I had the honor to use is a good fancy mozzarella cheese. The starter dish, you're not going to believe it.

It's a wake-up. So I used prosciutto, mozzarella cheese, tomato. I buttered it, some olive oil, salt, and pepper. Unbelievable. But the star of the show is this. That's going to give the pop. It's the fresh oregano. The fresh oregano. Okay. That's what it is. So when you use fresh ingredients, it changes everything. Everything. Can, bottle, it's not the same. But fresh, grown fresh, nice and beautiful. Amazing. I can't wait to try this. What are you waiting for?

Tom, you're the first. You do the honors, of course. Let's see here. This looks amazing. Incredible. I'll just watch your face. Okay. I mean, I should also say the presentation is extraordinary. Stunning. Ooh, listen to that crunch. Great crunch. Wow. That's the design to do that. Because, to tell you the truth, with the layers of the liquidation, which would be the butter and the olive oil, you need something to hold it.

And the crunch and the toasting is what holds it. Very impressive, Chef. Very impressive. Good, man. Yeah. Good. Okay. I love that. We got two more. I got this beautiful pasta that I'm going to do amazing. You're going to love. All right? Yes, sir. Thank you. Thank you. Watch your head. Watch your head. Watch your head. Oh, shoot. I'm still doing it. Yep. You're going to kill it. Most people don't cook prosciutto. It's...

Is he okay? Yeah, he's okay. I also want to say, by the way, to all you, kudos on preparing for today, making this all happen. You guys did a great job. And you all look very nice. You made it very fancy. We did our best. You guys look very fancy. You look very good. You've noticed that, right? The staff is all... Everybody looks amazing. Thank you, guys. Now, what's interesting about this, a lot of chefs don't cook the prosciutto. Also, feel free to come and try some if you... Try it.

It's different taste when it's cooked up. I mean, I don't want to be. Do you think I'm selfish enough? I'm going to eat this all. Come and try it. And treat yourself to a strawberry if you care to. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead and try it. Yeah. Pick a strawberry. You know, I'm a little disappointed so far. We haven't seen any presentations in the glasses. The meal's not over. I want to see meat in a glass. I do, too.

Well, so far, I'm very impressed. Me too. Worth every penny. How much did we spend? I'd rather not make it public, if you don't mind. Fair enough. Fair enough. It's worth every penny, though. Every penny of this Italian feast. So far, pretty much the first course was very similar. Put it this way. You could either have had the meal you're having today or done a trip with SpaceX to go to the outer limits of space.

But yeah, we have tomato, mozzarella salad, and then now tomato and cheese on the bread. On the bread. With a little crispy prosciutto, which is different. It's good. I like it. So far, so good. Again, it's very unexpected. Sure. I like that. It is, yeah. All right, so we're talking about the pepperoni. Pepperoni. Pepperoni.

And I love pepperoni. I love pepperoni. He looks like a pepperoni. I love the grease come out of my cheeks. He looks exactly like a pepperoni. It looks like a pepperoni stick is eating slices of pepperoni. Yeah. He really does. He's very, very, that's not good for you. He's cheerful. Pepperoni, it might be the worst thing you could put into your bottle. But he's happy. Yeah, he's eating pepperoni. It's the worst sound. And that's how you enjoy wine.

Get the fat from the pepperoni in your cheeks and then you swish it around. The grease washes down. It's a good introduction to wine. Good introduction to wine. Yeah. Wash the grease down your throat. God damn. Do you have any questions for me? Can I fart real quick? It's free country, dude. It's a free country, dude. That's a kid who was trying to steal like you were at 13. Yeah. Yeah. Dang. Pretty cool.

Yeah. Isn't that cool? Yeah. I would not have the audacity to ask to fart, though, to a security guy. That's pretty wild. No, I would not do that. I think he knew that that cop was pretty forgiving. Did you ever steal?

Bullshit, you know, like little items. Yeah. Did you get caught? No, I don't think I ever got, no, I never got caught. But it wasn't for me. I wasn't. Who are you stealing for, your gang? Yeah, some of my brothers in arms, yeah. Yeah, chicks? I mean, who are you stealing for? No, it was like the thrill of being a young teen, like that kind of thing. Oh, I thought you meant there was a reason. No, I just was like, that same reason where you're like, can I do this? And you do it on a small level and you're like, I don't want to do this. Yeah, it doesn't feel good.

enough i feel too guilty yeah nothing's significant okay jack squared your least favorite trans autistic couple in the last video i said i was jack's one and they were jack's a but a bunch of you wondered well how can you have the same names first of all we both have jade dead names i was jay when i met them and they were jacks when they met me and i go hold the up that's the coolest name i've ever heard

Would it be weird if I started going by Jax too? And they let me know in less words that no, it wouldn't be weird if we were called the same thing. It's actually a lot easier to refer to us that way. We'll change it up every now and then just to make sure that you fucking weirdos out there don't think that there's some sort of power dynamic when I call myself one and them A or them one and me too. There's no power dynamic. He's a 30 something year old man and she's 19. Yeah, I hope.

You fucking weirdos. Yeah. You fucking weirdos out there that don't get it. Jack's one and Jack's a what the fuck? Yeah. Couldn't be any stranger. He's fucking. Oh, I can't get on board with this stupid shit. I know. So just so I understand, because I'm, I'm just, I'm tingling with anticipation. Are we doing main course and dessert?

I believe so. That's what it looks like. I want to get confirmation. Okay. Let me see here. Okay. Wow. Look at Tanner just fucking working his ass off. Hi, Chef Tanner. I'm just curious for the two remaining courses. Is it a main course and a dessert? Is that what we have left? Chef, are the two remaining courses a dessert and a main course? Yes. Chef says yes. So main course is next.

Main course is next, Jeff? Yes. Can't wait. Just wanted to know. Thanks so much. Are you learning out there? I'm learning so much. I learned about shrimp and scallops. We learned about diced tomatoes. It's amazing. We broke pepper, but that's okay. That's fine. We're back in the groove. Okay. Thanks, Tanner. Awesome. Wow.

To my eyes, I feel like I see more tomatoes and more basil on the plate that Tanner's holding. Also, it looks like Fancy Chef is maybe on a business call right now. Isn't that wild? Yeah, this is going nowhere. We've been with him, by the way, since before we started rolling today. His phone does not stop. It does not stop ringing, dinging, buzzing, just doing anything to let him know that he is wanted, he is desired.

He literally walked in and it rang. He walked in and he was like, hello, fancy. And they were like, hey, I want to do a thing December 1st. He was like, where? They told him. And he goes, that doesn't exist.

And then they confirmed that it does, and he was like, oh, now you're right. Really? Oh, how funny. It's fucking crazy. Do you remember where the place was? Yes, the Hilton by the airport in Queens, New York. He's like, there's no such place. And he was like, oh, yes, by the Burger King. I know what's up with that. Just watching him work, you know. I like watching him work. Oh, I do too. Well, he's talking on his phone right now, and Tanner's working, but I do like it when he works. Yeah, but high-level chefs do this.

They just sit on the sidelines and they tell their sous chefs what to do. You know what I mean? I guess. Not I guess. Is that true? Not I guess. Oh, sorry. Not I guess. I don't. I mean, look, when I've worked in food service, chefs work in just as hard as sous chef. Okay, okay. Everyone's working hard. Here's the thing that you're not fucking understanding here.

that it's fine to educate you, is that you're dealing with a different level of chef here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, they can get involved if they feel like it. But with somebody, once you've kind of reached a certain tier as a chef,

You just go, hey, you guys do this. And you supervise. And you jump in when they fuck up, which today he's clearly having to jump in probably more than he wants to because I don't think Tanner is that experienced. But don't you dare say that this guy is not at the level of that. I just know what I've seen in kitchens when I've worked in restaurants, and I've never seen this dynamic where the chef just takes phone calls. They usually, it's very hot, very frantic.

They're getting burned. Again, you're talking about mid-level chefs. They're wearing clogs. Hey, there's tears to this shit. There's tears to this shit. All right. You know? In college, there's Division I, II, and III. Hey, you're right, babe. I'm sorry. And they only air the big-time games. And those are D1. And that's what you're dealing with here. What's Tanner doing? He's pushing on. Oh, he's drying off the shrimp. He's not doing enough. I'll tell you that. Not doing enough. He's like, no.

He is. I do like that he is. More layers, Chef? That's the right guy to be working. A lot of sweat in that hat, too. A lot of sweat. Chef is telling him exactly what to do. I like this. Yeah. I don't think his vision is great. I think you're right. I saw him hit a couple walls. It's not. We've been right in front of him trying to hand him stuff at the store, and he just cannot. I thought it was a depth perception thing, but...

It's a vision issue. Okay. We got to get him and Potter together just to see where it goes. Imagine if we gave them a cooking show. Fancy Potter? What does Potter like to eat? He eats like a bird. I've been on the road with him and he'll skip and then have a few bites of something. He's like one of those guys. Yeah. It's not a big time. He's not really into eating.

So funny. I know. I'm so into you. Not an indulger, not a glutton. If I remember right in the LA studio, all he would eat was soup. That was his lunch every day. A lot of pho. Soup. A lot of pho. And he'd be like mad about it. He's like, fuck, I have to eat. Every time, you know, because that's the thing for me on the road is like, you know, you're away from home. You get excited about, hey, guess where we're going tonight. And I kind of flashback to like, hey, we're going here. And he'd be like.

I'm like, dude, this place is going to be awesome. He would barely order anything. But he smokes. And I feel like when I smoke, that's how I was. Really? Yeah, because cigarettes dull your sense of taste and they dull your appetite maybe. Yeah. I used to eat like one burrito a day when I smoked cigarettes. I would eat half at lunch and then I would save the other half for dinner.

Wow. And that's... That's not enough. That's not enough. No. But that's all I did because I smoked the rest of the day. Look at them out there. Now they're back outside.

I wonder if there's a whole group of fans that have gathered around. Probably. They all know he's in town. People know. I got hit up a lot by people asking me if they could come watch him work today. Oh, wow. Yeah. Once we posted about it, people were like, I want to be there. It's too dangerous. Yeah. He needs to focus on the work, not the fans. So incredible. Look at him stirring in the pot. Don't usually do that. Do you have a dining experience in your life that stands out as incredible? I think your birthday...

Where Charo didn't eat any of it. That was awesome. That was a linea. That was really amazing. Yeah. Italy, like every meal we had in Rome was pretty outstanding. And I'm still marveling at like every meal we had, no matter where, was amazing. Italians know how to eat. What about you? I mean, both of those are huge experiences, like lifetime experiences. The thing about the Italy trip is that it's so consistent.

It's like anywhere you go, any choice you make is you can't go wrong. Yeah. You know, it stands out to me. Also, when I was in France last year,

They also have incredible cuisine. So good. They're the best, dude. So good. And there's just like restaurants you just make note of. Oh, I would say the very first time I ever ate at Matsuhisa in Los Angeles, I was in my 20s, and I was like, oh my God, this is so fancy. So many Los Angeles memories, though. Like, let's, memory lane. What was the, Speranza in Silver Lake? That was fun. What was the place on Vermont? Italian.

Il Capriccio. Il Capriccio, yeah. Rigatoni Norcina, I remember it was like, oh man, the fucking best. And Mexican too. They got a lot of good Mexican spots. Mexican joints.

I feel like that can't be replicated anywhere else in the country. They don't do Mexican food right. I think of places that hit me where I was like, wow, Red in Rochester, New York. I'm looking forward to going back to Rochester, New York just to eat at Red. What about that place in Cleveland across from the club? It closed. I know, and I love that place. That was Chef Sawyer, I think was his name? God damn it.

It was like a line out the door. It was right across from Hilarity's. Really good. That's a memorable restaurant to me because I would go in there alone on the first night I got there just to order a chicken and sit there by myself and eat it. It was just chicken, but it was roasted so well. That's a sign of, I think, a good place when they can do the simplest things very, very well. Very well, yeah.

Just like one item. You can't eat somewhere there's a thousand fucking things on the menu. It's never good. Like if you go to a deli and they've got the pages and pages, you're like, why? This is a Jewish deli. There's pastrami, lox. I know. And fucking tuna melts. That's it. That's really all. Yeah. And matzo bowl soup. What was the absolute worst was Barney's Beanery. Yeah. Barney's Beanery in West Hollywood.

had like a 12 page menu and also 12 different styles of cuisine. So you could get Italian, Greek, Thai, Indian, American. And you're like, wait, how do you do all these here in this? They don't. There's like one thing. You get a cheeseburger there. That's what you get. It's bar food. Fucking cheeseburger. Yeah. Well, that's what I've learned. Traveling is don't fuck around with anything.

Yeah. Weird. Just get what that place. The specialty. Is good at. Don't fuck around. It's like when you go to a steakhouse and someone orders the fish or chicken, you're like, you're a moron. Why are you doing? Why'd you come here? Don't go there. You go there for the specialty. Yeah. Exactly. No, no, no. What's going on? Wow. We're watching them progress. He is running in a racket. I know. Can you imagine if we didn't give him dinner today? It's a wedding. It's a wedding.

He is really running him into the ground. I don't see a lot of action here. I just see a bowl of pasta that's been made. He's clapping. He's talking. I kind of feel like a natural in this, though, don't I? In this coat and hat. Yeah, you should pick up chefery. Chefery? Yeah.

My next thing. I mean, he did it. Why can't I do it? Yeah, you totally can. Why can't I be like, Chef Tom, book me. You go to culinary school. Book me, book me, book me, book me now. I want you to stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking, book me now, pick up that phone. How long is culinary school? Hey guys, go get me four phones this week. Tom, let's go. Go to the Cordon Bleu. Yeah, how long is culinary school? You can fucking do it. 60 weeks. No. So that's just over a year. Oh, yeah, that's not that crazy. What did you think it was? I was like, 60.

I don't know why that sounded. That's Texas culinary school. Yeah, no. You were thinking like 60 years. Yeah, I was like, oh my God. Wait, wait, what about- How about in France? Yeah, the Cordon Bleu. Let's do it in France. Les Cordon Bleu. Yeah, that's like a real, and that one's tough, isn't it? Isn't that the best? I don't know. Oh my gosh. Three 10-week terms. Okay. Okay. Nine months to be a grand diplôme.

Pastry diploma is nine months. Intermediate pastry is three months long. Superior is another three months. Okay. But isn't the hard part getting a gig? Like you have to become the apprentice, the sous chef, and then work your way up in the kitchen. You really got to love it though. If you're going to make that your life. Especially baking. Like chef. You know, the bakery, the baker has the toughest time, right? Because you have to wake up

At the butt crack of dawn. I remember. And proof the croissants or the bread. The pastry chef. Remember Back Door Bakery? Yeah. Silver Lake. People know. If you know, you know. Back in the day, early 2000s. Yeah. And that lady was the baker. And I remember I flew with her one time. We just randomly were at the airport together. And I was like, I love going there. And she was like, yeah, it's fucking killing me. The schedule. Yeah.

And then one day it was just closed. Yeah. Broke my little heart. It's a fucking great place. Broke my little fat heart. I know. You know, a lot of people don't know about restaurants. Forgive me if I'm repeating myself. Just tell me if I've told this story. Well, the amount of roaches and filth and rats. Nice. This is a nice spin. Thank you for pivoting into this. It's so true. That just naturally occur. I mean, I've worked in a fancy French restaurant. I've worked in an Indian restaurant. Yep.

Starbucks was probably the only one that didn't have roaches and rats. Well, I'll tell you this. When you get into high-level Michelin star places, the one thing you find so consistent in them is that they are impeccably clean. You don't find any... You don't think so in the back in the tubs? I'm not saying think so. No, of course not. You're thinking of like...

The kind of restaurants that you'd frequent on a regular basis. Normal people restaurants. Yeah. Not Michelin star. Fancy chef restaurants? No. No. No. No. I remember when I worked, I worked at this Indian restaurant in Los Angeles and I had to scoop the mango chutney and put it in these little plastic to-go containers.

Containers? Tom. Tom. Yeah. You haven't lived and experienced the dregs of life until you've scooped mango chutney in a dirty fucking bin. Ah!

In the back of the restaurant. And there's like, oh, it's so smelly. And then their aloo gobi. You know, the cauliflower would come in with just chunks of rot on it. Like parts that were bad and they cut off the rotten bits and then make the aloo gobi with the rest of it. Oh, I'm about to throw up. And I used to eat at that Indian restaurant until I worked there. Never again. Thank you. It's a really popular one too. Why did you make this your sidebar? Why?

Because I think that people need to know how hard it is to work in the food service industry and how gross it is. That was not the point of it. That wasn't the point. Yeah.

It wasn't. It was so disgusting. And then we have a lot of people who work in this industry listening to this show. Yeah, it looks like, look, they're making progress. Chef is dealing with, I believe, scallops right now. Oh, wow. It's taking an awful long time to cook scallops. Yeah. They usually brown up within, you know, two minutes. We're done. So his timing is very interesting. I'm just saying. Wow. From this angle, it looks absolutely perfect. I'm saying the timing of the pasta and the scallops. That's beautiful. That's a color.

Wow, look at that. Look at that color. Very dark. Dark, deep brown scallop. Yeah, perfect. Usually you don't eat them that dark. Usually they're not that dark, but this isn't different. Oh, it's toasted to perfection. It is really nice. But I am glad to see that he is cooking the scallops through. That was one of my concerns. You don't want them raw. No. Interesting. That's your choice. I was ready to go either way.

I'm going to show you now. That's what we do. This is what we do. Scooting a little more butter on them. Yeah, I mean, this is what people do when they're having a thing. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's good. What's the shittiest job you've ever had that had the best perks? That had actual perks? Because every crappy job that I've had, there is always a perk. I'll give you a for instance. Okay.

I used to work in the parking booth at my school, University of San Francisco. I gave out parking. And then I just hooked my friends up with free parking permits where I'd get to smoke cigarettes or smoke pot in the booth. Yeah. And that was really cool. Of course, Starbucks employees, summer of 1997, all the Madelines and coffee I could eat, even though you're only allowed one drink per shift, I would still steal them throughout the day. Cool. I lost like 20 pounds that summer. Got super thin. That's pretty cool. Yeah, because I didn't eat all day. I just got jacked on coffee.

Yeah, I mean, when I worked in restaurants, Chibo and there was that pizza place on Riverside Drive. I forget the name of it.

I mean, it's obviously food. So like you could just, and the chefs, especially like at Chibo on sunset is you're working your chef. They're like, what do you want? And you kind of can go make this, but like modify it, throw this in there instead, throw the spice in there. Like you could just, and they would just do it for you so that you'd get like the exact dish. So that was a perk. Another one, it's also food related.

When I worked as a site rep, remember when I worked at Hollywood? The owner of that company just liked me. And sometimes he would just be like, oh, come meet my girlfriend and I at this restaurant. And I would just have dinner with him. Oh, that's good. So he was just a nice guy like that. Yeah. Yeah. And then we would, you know, get into it. He's like, oh, come into my bathtub. And I'd be like, all right. You know, foot rub, massage rub. Yeah. I mean...

I was always a terrible employee, but I always made friends with people. I think that's what kept me around a lot of jobs before I did this for a living. That's for sure. Huh.

Oh, and then he's pulled out the stainless steel. You know what's also interesting is the decision to wait to start this. It's taking a while. Yeah, like a lot of chefs would have been like, huh, that hot thing, we should probably start prepping that. Oh, wow, he's doing full cooking show style right now. Look at him. He's telling the camera what's up.

Well, and interesting, Tom, too, if you work in food service, you know that the timing of the plates is very important. When you work in a restaurant, you want to get that appetizer order in. And then when they're halfway done with the appetizer, you put the order in for the entree so that the timing is correct. Now, I will say the timing on this is taking a bit.

Longer than we expected here. Longer than I like. Yeah. Interesting. If we were at a restaurant, I'd be a little upset at this point, don't you think? Oh, there's a nice huge spoonful of butter that goes in there. And a second one. Oof, that's a lot of butter on there. That is an extraordinary amount. It's very expensive French butter, by the way. Oh, good. And then is there going to be olive oil on top of the butter? Is that what we're doing? No. Okay, good. Olive oil. Now, what do we do?

And butter? All of oil, chef. Give me butter. Add butter. We added butter, chef. We just added butter. I've never seen somebody combine like that. A third spoonful of butter is going into that pan. Tom, I'm going to let you try this meal. I think I want to. Oh, you want to? I don't know, dude. Okay, open.

Are you calling Tanner? I'm going to wait here. I know he's got his hands full. Oh, he's opening a bottle, Tanner. Is that the pairing? No, the chef is probably having him pour. Oh, he doesn't know how to open it. Please don't tell me he's going to put the scallops in the butter and the oil. Yes. It's already been in the butter and the oil. He's got tons. There's more oil. Wow.

Oh my God. He's going to start a grease fire. This is vile. Don't you dare say that. I mean, I'm sorry. This is experimental and fresh. What the fuck is he going to fry in there? Three different oils?

Hi. So such an interesting choice to see the three spoonfuls of butter and olive oil. Yeah. So we went with butter and olive oil, correct? Yeah. And why did you do that? Well, I did it because we create the flavor. What kind of flavor? I can't tell you the flavor. Diarrhea. I can't tell you the flavor. Okay. Salt and pepper, Chef. Here's pepper, Chef. Okay. Okay.

Salt and pepper. And here's the salt, chef. The shrimp is right here, chef. Yes, chef. Okay, yeah, you have to do it. I got it. Did you realize you'd be working this much? No. So the scallops, are those good to go? It looks like those are cooked. They're very brown.

Are the scallops good to go? Yes. Okay. Don't talk. Don't talk? Don't talk to it. Don't talk to it. Let's go. I'm going to give you the shrimp. Okay. Time for the shrimp. We're coming in. Tanner, has the pasta already been cooked? The pasta's been cooked. Correct, Chef? Yes. Wow. Put one in? Just one.

Yes, chef. Just one. Just one at a time? Are you joking? There you go. That's what you're looking for. I asked you to put one in. That's what you're looking for. You're looking for that sit. Now I know the rest of it. Although I knew already because I've been doing it a long time. Adam Olin. Adam Olin. Okay, I'll let you go. I'll let you go. Go do your work. Thank you. Thank you.

I really hope that he's taken the tails off and deveined and cleaned. Why? Why? What are you talking about? Not yet, Chef. Yeah, I'm not sure which kitchens he's worked in before, but this is not an efficient way to cook. This is interesting. I've never seen somebody do it piece by piece by piece by piece by piece. Wow. There you go, right there.

Tanner looks terrified. He looks so scared. Yeah, he lost. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Tanner, not in the pan. Wine chef. Tom, you're definitely eating this one. Oh, here comes the wine. Oh, it's not yet. Get me the heavy cream. Get me the wine. So the scallops are cooked. Wine. Okay. Not yet. Not yet. Okay. Nope. The wine goes back to...

Wow. And Chef is so comfortable on mic and on camera. I think from all his Instagrams. Like, look at him right now. He's talking to our remote camera out there. Oh, there's heavy creamer.

Heavy creamer. Oh, fuck. And did he bread the shrimp, too? On top of the... On breaded shrimp creamer? No. Wow. Aw, shit. You're... This is something else. Tommy, this is all the stuff that gives you diarrhea. It is. Just so you know. This is literally the stuff that... Well... Makes you sick. Certain days, you just gotta kind of go for it, I think. Well...

He is. This is the longest meal I've ever seen prepped. I know. Especially seafood cooks up pretty quickly. It does. I don't think those shrimp are ready, though. I fucking know. The scallops are nice and cool now, which is what you like, right? Cold scallops. I do love cold scallops. He's letting them cool down. You don't want that food hot. You don't want seafood hot. You like it to cool off. Room temp.

That is true. Wow, I'm really excited for this. I'm interested to see if I immediately get sick. What the fuck is Tanner opening now? There's more? Oh, shit.

More. Yes, Chef. I hope it's not more seafood. And I hope he cleans whatever the fuck is in it. So we've got this shrimp. Counters up. This is meat now? Is this going to go in with the shrimp? No. Sauce sausages? I think it's some Italian sausage. Okay. Okay, that could be good. But there's already so much oil and grease and fat in there. How's it going out there, Zola? It smells incredible. It does. Wow. Well, there's an extraordinary amount of butter and oil being used.

And now fat from the sausage. And the sausage, yes. It's going to be really heavy, hearty. It's very, yeah, this is very fatty. Very, very hearty. It's 100 degrees outside. And we haven't started prepping for dessert, which is another interesting choice. And I sure hope that is a quick dessert because if he chooses to do a souffle, we could be here for another hour. Yeah, we can't do that. I have to get going, you know. Same. Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. His timing doesn't seem to be chef's strong point right now. Or is it part of the experience? That's the thing is with these guys, you never know if it's like, oh no, I wanted you to exactly wait that amount of time. I remember when we were at Alinea, a similar kind of moment happened where it was like, why are you bringing us downstairs to the kitchen? Right. And then we have the shrimp down there and we go back in the whole setting. So it's like playing with your senses and he might be doing something similar. Possibly Tom, possibly. Yeah.

At the grocery store, Chef had mentioned that you cannot rush perfection. Okay. Let that cook some more. I mean, it's kind of hard to argue with that statement. Although...

Now, I do love, in terms of dining, I am partial to more trashier, obviously. I love a Sizzler. We don't have them anymore, right? I don't think they exist, Sizzler. I don't know. I mean, I think they exist, but there can't be more locations. There's got to be less. Spaghetti Factory back in L.A. Did you ever go to Spaghetti Factory, Annie and Josh, back in the day? No, I never did. That was a good one. I don't think so. Okay. Yeah, that was a good classic.

Wow. So the shrimp is cooked. They're cooking. The scallops are totally done, like you said, probably 15 to 20 minutes ago. Pasta was done long before that, too. It's good. What you want to do is space them out is usually what the chefs say.

Right. And you're making a dish space everything out that's going to be in the dish. Pasta only tastes better when it sits in its own water. You know, you want that. Okay. And then what happened? What about the sausage rolls? Oh, here comes the heavy cream. More cream. Interesting. Wish is coming, chef. I've never seen Tanner's off running again.

He's having him go get more things. Okay. He's talking about combining what he does here. Oh, no. Please. There's a whisk. A whisk. Okay. Here you go, chef. Here's your whisk. Okay. Can I whisk? No. I'll hold it. Okay. No. No. Oh, wow. Oh, God. That is so much butter and oil and grease and lime pan. There you go. Perfect. Perfection. Perfection.

Here's the whisk. Just hold it. Pesto, chef. Pesto. Put it down. Pesto, give me the heavy cream. Yeah. It's really... This is it, ladies and gentlemen. Open up that wall. I don't know. I have so many questions. I say that this is going to be miraculous. This is going to be a success. We got the pesto, chef. Okay, good. Okay. We have this.

These are sauces. Canned pesto. Canned pesto. You know what's interesting is that he had mentioned how much you have to have fresh ingredients. Yeah. So you go for canned or whatever and it's a no. But then he doubles back and he uses it. And again, it's that unpredictable nature of geniuses that you just don't know what they have planned. A lot of chefs will make pesto pesto.

by hand because it's fairly simple but not him he's saving time to focus on what counts yeah this is interesting because he doesn't take into account his feet he just says i don't have time oh and now we're pouring the heavy cream in the oil in the butter i think it just went out chef this is unbelievable what's going to go in the heavy cream

Tom, what do you think? Oh, the burner's out. Is that what's happening? Tanner's got to light it again. Oh, dear. Some technical issues. Okay. There we go. Heavy creamer. He's like, put that down and give me another one. Another heavy creamer. Also, with heavy cream, you don't want to let it curdle or burn too fast. It gets thick pretty dang quick there. I agree. But that is an entire other carton of heavy creamer.

I got to tell you, Tom, in our home, I go through a tiny container of that creamer in about a month. A month to use up that much creamer. Okay, we're whisking now. That's a lot of creamer. Oh, is he going to make a bechamel? Maybe this is a bechamel. I don't know. I know we haven't used the wine yet.

The sausages are still raw, sitting behind him. Here's the canned pesto. It's going into the heavy creamer. Give it a little smack, and it'll come out in clumps, exactly how they tell you to do it.

In culinary school, this is extraordinary to watch in real time. Extraordinary. Yeah, normally you don't see people put jarred pesto in two containers of creamer and butter. You don't, but he's going to say, you know, I don't want to waste my time. That's another thing I have to say. I respect how he doesn't waste his time. Sure. He doesn't waste his time with the bullshit. Hey, I'm going to get a food processor and, you know, get all these things together fresh. Also, I could just open a can. Sure.

Yeah, why chop the garlic? You can just buy it in oil-soaked. Pre-made salad mixes also. Excellent. Pre-made salad mix. Wow. That's great. I mean...

I think he told me this is something he's never done before, which I'm excited to try something that's never been done. That is really special. Well, I wish you would have practiced. Yeah. Getting hungry. Yeah. Okay, so Tanner's like, where's the, uh-oh, what did Tanner miss? There you go. Tanner's like a cartoon character. Yeah, he is frantic. He really is.

So I'm seeing it's like a light green cream sauce now. Looks like the wind is picking up out there, too. Chef is just absolutely crushing it, though. I got the tomato, Chef. Here you go, Chef. More tomatoes. We've seen tomatoes in the first and second course, so this is interesting. More tomatoes. Tomatoes are so versatile. You don't just limit yourself. I broke a bowl, Chef.

Okay. And again, are we going to ever touch that sausage? We did get them into little balls ready to go. Interesting, Tom, too. This is an Italian feast. I don't recall eating anything like this in Italy. I never, ever had anything like this. Is that Spanish for delicious? This is very interesting. Yeah. It's a ton of sauce. Just to eat.

I mean, he's cooking for an entire army. Maybe he's cooking for the airlines in his mind. Here is finally. Oh, fuck. There's more oil in the cream? Oh, that's wine. Okay, thank God. Fuck.

Oh my god, dude, what? I've never seen anybody do that in a cream Usually did say it was gonna be pink. You remember that? Oh, right our first conversation he goes what? Bottle of red wine

Butter and olive oil. Wow. Okay. Is that champagne? I think that's champagne, but... Stop. Champagne in the sauce? That is bold. That's bold. He said he's doing things he's never done. You might get ripped after this.

Okay, how much champagne are we gonna pour in? Oh god, I feel sick already. Oh, I'm ill. He already put in an entire bottle of red wine, and now there's an entire half a bottle of champagne. Yes, chef. Oh, he doesn't need to whisk this. I'm gonna puke. What are you gonna puke? Yes, chef.

I mean, I cook a lot. I love to cook. You know what sounds good right now? I've never seen this. The original New York strip he was proposing with the...

Fucking A, right? Salt the roasted potatoes. Right. Pretty straightforward American cuisine. But he's going Italian. You wanted seafood. I did. I think he also was playing a trick on me. He knew how to make his client happy. Surprised him at the last moment by fulfilling his original request. Huh. Well. Should we take a break and pee? Okay. Wow. Wow.

- Wow. - Okay, so this is first done before. Bring it here, would you please? Let me finish it. - Yes, Chef. - Bring it here. This has never been done before. - Never been done. - Never been done before. I've never done it, I've never practiced it. Why would I when I know about flavor? I know about flavor, love. Why would I do that? Okay, so what this is, this is the John Segura. - The John Segura. - Okay. - Special. - Yes. - Wow. - So we added champagne, we added red wine, we woke.

We woke it up. That's infused with flavor. God, I cannot wait. Flavor, flavor. Okay, so you don't want to chop basil up too much because these have oils. And if you chop them up on the board, you'll want the oils to get saturated in the bowl, I mean in the cutting board. So that's why we do is pick these. And that's really the absolute way to do herbs. Okay?

Bon appetit. Thanks so much. Wow. Chef, as we prepare for this tasting, would you mind joining us again here in the seat? Oh, I will, sure. Okay, great. Tom, that looks amazing. Yeah, please. So we have scallops, we have shrimp, we have wine, red, and champagne incorporated together. So red wine and champagne. I did.

Oh, that's awesome. Thank you. I did do both. Thank you, Josh. And that was the kick in terms of what I never did before is the champagne and the wine together. That's a wonderful idea. Oh, okay. So extraordinary looking. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Bring me the lemon. I'm sorry. You can stay here. They'll get it. They'll get it. They'll get it for you. Okay.

Wow. We were watching you. You know, like I said, we're big foodies. We watch all the chef shows. We obviously watch your Instagram all the time. And watching you work out there was a real treat. And we've just been salivating, fighting over who gets the first bite. Here's your lemon, chef. Can you give it back to me? I just want to change it. Sure. Yep.

Perfect. Wow. And the phone keeps ringing and the seasoning keeps coming. That is so beautifully done. Nice squirt. Masterfully applied. Wow. Here, let me help you with that. Don't get your sleeves in the same spot. This is amazing.

Now, how many bookings have you made since you've been with us this afternoon? Oh, too many. It's hard to keep up. It really is. This is such a treat. We have been going back and forth on who gets the first bite.

I tell you what, that's how you can make it even. Oh, tell me. You take your fork and she take hers. You get one side, he get the other side. Oh, that's so nice. What a lovely idea. Like a family. Lady and the Tramp. That's a lovely idea. Well, look at that. Here's two forks. Perfect. Cheers. What are you going to dive into first, Tom? God, I want it all. I think maybe one of these scallops. Scallops. Looks good.

Very well. Can't go wrong. And you know what? I'll do the shrimp. Okay. Because those look incredible. And I just love your seasoning that you put on. There we go. Cheers. I got some of that sauce because this is really the money maker. And also, I just, if you don't mind, I would really love no interruptions as we do this. No interruptions at all? Yeah. I really like to concentrate on what I'm. Your flavors and such. I agree. I don't want to beat you to it. Cheers. So y'all have your own dish.

Wow. The John Segura. Cooked to perfection. John, why are you doing that? You playing? I mean... I will say, you know, and this is no shit, I've been to Alinea in Chicago. I've been to Zen in Singapore. And I've been to La Thier in Paris. That's the best thing I've ever had in my entire life. Without a doubt. I appreciate that. Thanks so much. I appreciate that. Thanks so much.

You know, that's, I really don't know how you did it. That was really extraordinary. I think as a treat, I'm going to go ahead and I've normally I wouldn't do this. I am going to share with the staff. So I'm going to allow everybody here to have some of this too. So go ahead and get bowls and plates and you guys can try and enjoy. Here you go, Tanner.

Yeah, I don't want to just hog it all to myself. You know what I mean? No, and especially Tanner, you worked so hard on this. You should definitely have the first bite. Yeah, you can have an extra serving for yourself. The sauce is incredible. That sauce is just... I don't know how you did it. So in the moment, you decided or did you pre-plan the champagne, the wine, the butter, the olive oil, the heavy cream? How did you come up with that? Was that just inspiration or is that...

It was inspiration. It was something I wanted to present that was never been done before. I get bored quick. I get that. I do get bored quick. Is that a potential client? Yeah, I think so. Hello, how can I help you? Chef speaking. Is this Fabulous Chef? It is. How can I help you? Do you come to Ohio? I do. Anywhere in the world. Are you going to be opening next month? I do. On the 25th? Of October? Okay, how many people?

Any allergies? Minimal or extensive? Expensive or inexpensive? Okay. Venue? Mansion? I can't do it. That was fucking unbelievable. I loved watching that. That was so great.

This guy tried to book you, and as soon as it was clear that he wasn't in a mansion, you were like, it's over. You just hung up on him. Well, I'll tell you why. A lot of people ask that question, and they wonder. I've been in tight kitchens with a lot of chefs. Normally in the chef, on the lawn, you have broth, sauté, fry, gommage. So you have normal chefs in the kitchen. And if the kitchen isn't big enough...

The two things that is implemented is safety and cleanliness. Yes. So if it's too tight and you got a knife, you're in trouble. It's not safe. And it gets dirty. And it gets dirty. So when there's room with the expansion of the room, there's room there so everybody has space. Makes sense. So you heard it here from the chef. If you don't have a mansion, don't even bother calling.

Like, just don't call. He doesn't have time for your bullshit. Did any of you get a chance to try? I'm eating some of the shrimp right now. It is incredible. It's unbelievable. That's important. And a lot of times people want to video record. And I don't make that an exception. You know, so...

It's okay, but you can't do it in a tight space. Right. If I could barely move, how could you move and see anything? I love it. You know what I loved about my bite of shrimp is the tang. You felt the pop from... Well, there was that last moment application of three lemons.

That I think heightened it so much. But it really brought out the champagne. I tasted the champagne. I tasted the wine. You taste the wine. You taste the heavy creamer. You taste the butter. You taste the olive oil. And the pesto. I forgot there was pesto, right? Yeah, cans of it. I mean... There's a... Without that weight, you know, another thing in the kitchen that's important is your timing. So if you come to order...

Right? The two of you come as guests. Yep. Yep. You don't want to wait 20 minutes for food. No. Who would want to wait? Exactly. So what you have to do is you have to generate a system of speed. So instead of taking time to, which pestle consists of? Basil, olive oil, Parmesan cheese, pine nuts.

It's a lot of time. So with those ingredients, you don't want to miss none. And you save time with it. Right. This is such an extraordinary learning experience. A real treat to everybody here. I mean, obviously our staff was very excited. They all got dressed up. They're all like, I think some of them, I know I actually want to take some of that sauce home in a cup and just drink it like it's a Gatorade or something. That's how good that was. It was so delicious. Very rich, very layered, great flavors. And just to recap,

Plate of strawberries that were, did you pick those out today? They were unbelievable. And I felt like it was so nice to have the fancy chef strawberry experience. Then we went to the tomato and mozzarella slarborata slice, was that? Bruschetta. Bruschetta. Oh, right, then the bread after that with the sauteed prosciutto, which was such an extraordinary choice. And then that.

That seafood pasta dish really brought it home. I cannot wait to go eat some more of this. So good. If you're out there, don't forget to follow Fancy Chef. Fancy Chef, is it 13? Yeah, Fancy underscore Chef underscore 2013. Underscore 2013. And a unique name for a unique chef.

and you're still blowing up. Of course, if you want to try to book Chef, you have a favorite of your, you have multiple phone numbers. Do you have a favorite number of those three that are usually published? You do. Do you want to tell them which one it is? 570-604-3868. You knew it. He knew it. He said the 570 is his favorite.

And if you call, be ready to write a big check, but that's how you live luxuriously. And if you don't have a mansion or a yacht, maybe wait a few years. Cancel. Don't call. Don't call. Chef, I don't know. This was such a treat. Thank you for coming in today. We were so glad you came in. No, we're not done. We're not done? What do you mean? We didn't deserve. I got a special mousse. There's a mousse here?

Really? I want to make a strawberry mousse dessert. Is it good to go? Are we ready for it? Not yet. Not yet, okay. A couple of minutes. Okay. I'll make sure it don't take long. All right. All right, guys. We're ready for it. Watch your head, watch your head, watch your head, watch your head. Walk around. Guys, guys. Guys, walk him out. Okay. Chef, so excited for the final touch here. Wow, look at this. Yeah, that's the final touch.

That's the last of it. This is a champagne flute. What is in there exactly? So I made a mousse. You made a mousse. Wow. So we have a strawberry mousse, fresh strawberries, cream cheese, sugar, and champagne. It looks amazing. With fresh fruit. It looks amazing. Wow. So that's a sagura. That's a sagura right here. Look at this. The John Sagura dish and the sagura dessert. Wow, it smells extraordinary.

I've never done that before, neither. You've never done this before? You could have fooled me. I always want something new to whatever I do. Wow. Make it outstanding, one of a kind. It is really the best to do. I don't like to repeat dishes. Yeah, I can see. It gets boring. This looks amazing. Well, from all of us to you, first, thank you for this incredible experience. Nope. Nope. Wrong. Stop talking. What? Thank you to all of you. Y'all have been amazing to me. I declare y'all really have.

Thanks, man. It's been amazing. I appreciate it greatly. My first podcast, cooking podcast, and it's a banger. It is a banger. It was fun. We had a blast. It was. And hopefully we can have you back sometime. I know that it's going to be a lot of people hitting you up to do their shows, but you'll remember the first one you ever did. You know, it's like your first love. It is. You'll never forget. Never. And I'm never going to forget today.

There's so much to continue eating. And so we're going to leave you now. But thank you for watching. Thank you for listening and joining us. And we will see you again soon. Don't forget, Fancy Chef. Hit them up. Book them, man. Book them. Don't sleep. Book them. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Thanks. Be rich. Don't be poor. Not at all. Thanks. Bye. Very good. Very good. Thanks, Chef. Appreciate it. That was amazing. You was great. That was great. Dirty son of a...

I think this is Charlie Huntington. Woo! Woo-hoo! Yeah, that's Charlie. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Get your passenger! Get your passenger, get your passenger, get your passenger. Son of a bitch! Fuck! Son of a bitch, son of a bitch, son of a bitch. Fuck! Fuck! You guys are doing good! Hurry up! Is that Charlie? Is that Charlie?

I'm getting a call out.