Heather McMahan: Blow jobs, hall passes, & frat daddies
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What is up daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call. Had the man.

welcome to color that I .

am obsessed with you. Just for context to everyone that doesn't know. We met virtually while I was in paris. Yes, you popped onto my live show. I had the best time with you.

I was so much fine and I was like, exam at home and and your team is like, kid, you have a couple weeks that you could just throw on a quick and I might get sure let me just go out of .

my office and get my wigs yeah, you pull out all the subs, but i'm more other. Like, how the fuck have we never met before?

I know if you like. This is now a his met moment, right? We've been circling in this. What we've been like on the, you know, we been .

circling around.

We are circling the drain and now we're just fully close.

Jacky m.

yes, jackie, like my best friend.

Every time I feel like she's, i've ever heard her talk about you, she's like he's the funniest person i've ever met. And i'm like, what first I thought jackie was funniest person i've ever met. And I ve, I watched to your stand up what we're gonna get to, yeah, it's fucking amazing.

Thank you. Like, I was doing my makeup this morning, watching IT laughing like hysterically. I like that. It's fuck really.

Did you like that? The response I love. And people like, hey, I think I got a uti after watching special fucking and did I .

how I felt also I just want to let you know that i'm unlike too many cups of coffee right now because last night I didn't sleep for a fucking minute because my dog has balloons ve day i've been there .

honey of two french bulldog IT is a dry heat IT is a every morning I wake up and I thought, like of sheet that's one of the things I do when I started making money to treat myself. There is my thread count of so fun. There is a frenchy bar every single night in the northern night.

But I feel like you would prefer a bar over direr.

Honestly, at this one, it's all started to look, smell the same. So not great either way he comes out.

No, have there? I literally was like, so i'm watching T V last night. My husband falls asleep early. It's like a eleven thirty. I'm watching like, the perfect couple with the cold kid. Man, it's a yeah I have feeling too but you know if there's nothing to watch so I like trying to enjoy myself at like, I can't watch this trash I like shut the fuck up and go to bed, right? I hear the little and I .

like here in the stomach like the girl le, that wet girl le that's more a little .

bit of like I like .

like some parts yeah yeah some. Bubbles, why?

IT was more bly a spit, like a, like a big splatter. People hate when I talk about you on the show, but I don't a shit OK during .

your thirties. And you haven't shape yourself at a costco in the last six months. Then you actually need to see a doctor get your life right.

Really like, fuck off. Okay, so he's slaughtering yeah and I wake my husband and I like a mat Bruce, your shit all over the carpet and is okay me to do go clean that up. I have never cleaned their shit ever.

If it's like in the house, math is the best and I want to you about jeff, your husband, to that let's talk about talk about her husband because I look at matt like modified matt never makes me really do much around the house. He's kind of like the house man. You know, Allen were the bread winners.

Death, well, that's also doing fine. But whatever. yeah. So he won't get up. And I am on my hands and knees and I am doing the chorus. I'm doing IT. All an hour later, he sits again, and two hours later he shits again. So I you are seeing a woman who is broken today.

I'm seeing a woman who is literally had herself elbows deep and golden dool studios. So i'm here for support. I actually been having, like the worst king's ety the last few days just there's so much shit going on and this is what i've been looking for. The two most.

It's just like I wear sixty five different hands and literally I was at dinner last night trying to enjoy a nice porcini riso to and I litter was like kind of like, you know, it's geek out because it's do circuit I thought I had a stroke at dinner. I was like, is that the April spirit? Do I need a beta blocker? Do I need a lower down a little bit, little bit about? I just take a ba drill .

and I just let IT like.

do you get anxious? I never really had battle anxiety until my life started getting good, which is we are wave. I think it's a pressure thing.

I think you just like, and I travel so much, I think I don't know like what times on him in say, yeah IT was like when life was tough, I was just cruising when life, god like things started to you know, start flowing. I think that's when is hard to get ancient. why?

Because you think it's like there's more to lose, like when you're up up I had nothing I am worth.

i'm a lose his rock bottom I was like, ride and just I went. People are relying on me, their humans on the internet. Internet work.

This is a safe space. The daddy ging is going to fucking love you and you're funny as fuck and do you're funnier than probably everyone that i've had that in this chair? So just do your part.

I know one calls you daddy and father, but my dad is dad. Can I just call you dad? But i'm looking for a father figure in my life.

Call me dad. Um i'm here for you. I oh, i've had a lot of girls with ping like I had a dad but dad, like you're dad, you figure whatever way I can fit in father, lead to your life i'm clear for you hether. I'm so sorry about your dad, but IT happens, but i'm .

here OK.

Okay, we need to talk about golf because IT consumes my life either. And I know a huge part of your stand up is you talking about your fucking husband having and the fucking golf IT is like every woman understands that the gulf wide thing is so fucking real. Talk to me about like where you're at in your golf journey.

Have you seen him lately? Has he bent on the golf course often? Like what's happening?

I was, you know, getting four glam morning, running around, taking calls, enthral emails and my husban's body put us in a group chat and sent me a fold. My husband playing some prestidigious course in the middle of nowhere like rock upstate new york. And it's just like, look at, you know, look at big daddy swing and I respond, i'm fucking working.

Go home. Take care of our french children. I A fuck if he let IT rip, I need you're stuck in to see and trap not my problem is so crazy.

Math is having, like, the biggest exception, crisis. Because his country club, even that word IT doesn't me kind of like to my bottle hole little bit three club you I say your country club, he's like it's ours, alex, like you're my wife now like you're remember, i'm like i'm never going on maybe well, like but he is breaking out because it's getting closed for like some construction cost o and so he's trying to get in, get IT in, get IT in. Let's go we got to go play and like, oh my god, you're never home I have .

one stipulation so we at at our country club and I actually think you would throw as a country go of girl. I don't think people give country clubs. Yes, there are OK or practices there.

But I love going to my country club. It's a one I grew up at, the one I grew in, parents remembers of. I hang out with the pack of, like, seventy five old women. They play bridge, we drink White wine and know what he gives me shit here. I mean, but I did say there is a stipulation like in our premium because I am actually the actual member, the country club, because I was a legacy. So my thing is like we ever divorce, like I get the club membership and if you don't think i'm going into the men's locker room and ripping jeff black of his rocker, you must not know me.

Oh my god, you're gonna married forever. Even if you hate him.

he's never leaving you and I great husband so shout to jeff, we won't know you this little episode I do when i'm there. He got mad one day because they didn't know like under our membership, they always refer to him as mr. Mike, me, OK.

And he got up seven days like, you know, it's just they don't know I was said that you've correct them let them know that you are mr. Daniel because I didn't take my husband's lesson. I'm an entertainment I didn't want to do IT it's hard.

Kids will be Daniel slive your life and I was like, imagine what every woman feels like. You don't mean if I check into a hotel and they referred to me as my Daniel, I go gladly. I don't let that like, bruiser y go right in. Pump the bricks, buddy. You get a tea time to make IT .

is so fucking true they get like, I will be sitting in the hotel and matt will hear like, hi mr. Cooper. And is that yeah and it's OK mah.

Stand up for yourself or shut the fuck up like I have and I will continue to have to do for the x amount of years that people say like, hi mrs. Captain and I mr. Cooper and like, I don't care. I don't care because it's not a masculinity vagina set .

in fine but not the gulf .

of us that that yeah the the golf health is look pretty bad for women .

yeah it's it's pretty party. It's rough. It's like a pleaded china short that tucks right underneath ath where your brotha is. It's it's absolutely i'm trying to fix IT, so give me a little time.

but I try to fix IT. How do you feel when jeff saunters down in the morning wearing his golf felt fit? Like, are you OK with the male golf outfits?

Or are you like, okay, so the way I feel about IT is I say this is special, but like any man who wears a visor, that's an immediate my vagina just shribas up because here's, I think first well, looks like you can afford the whole hat. You don't mean I don't know what these men invis'ble then my hands and will drive home room with the golf course. Know, sun roof is open.

He's at a good match. She's singing, you know, and toch your betting field feel the rain on my skin and he is like, hair is like flipped over the visor so he comes in swedes and a Peter millar short grass on a chanos. And I just go, i'm not trying to have sex with you right now.

Why did they cut back corny after goal?

It's because they feel empower, because they one five dollars on the gold course that I can do IT.

So I was thinking about that in your special because I like, okay, they come home and that does the same thing like, yeah, that is successful. Like he does Green business, he will come home back. I want fifty bucks and .

i'm literally like, like, no, take a shower. You smell like the outdoors .

but they're so excited about like that five dollars to get something.

Its work is one thing but when you're around there, when you're to force them with guys and there is all shit talking and there, oh, here is jet. He's got a forty foot pot and he makes IT. There is nothing that gives a man a bigger boner then thinking apart.

it's vat.

IT isn't furious. And I trying to think about like, like what makes me that horning. And I think i'm really seven at my golf game because I played growing up and down like I really do. I want to play because is a great sport, but I also just want to steal the joy of the one thing that gets jeff joy and he's like, I love when you played with me and we have a great time, we go out. It's like, I mean, you know, I drink wine and you know rips some old sig and just have a blast in the outdoors, but I am trying to get Better to beat him because I do. I need that for my eyes.

But you're like sneak ky on the competitive. Like, oh, I guess i'll play two jets. Meanwhile, you like getting sessions in the backer, getting full.

like coaching seachange. Now I have, so I have a goal on the L. P. G. A.

Should I do a foi who I sent videos do? And SHE literally is like, we got to tight up the swing. Oh yeah, i'm getting good.

but jeff doesn't even know.

So one day going to come to that.

okay. So we don't rose our husban's .

entire episode. No, just best he puts up with my shit. Just person, you're being crazy like, yes, sir, yes, yes, daddy.

yes, papa, yes. I was going to say give me some like talk about some of your favorite things about jeff because then we're going to keep .

rose yeah we'll get right back to the rose. No, jeff is honestly like, you know, it's interesting to you ever like hang out with other couples. You can tell they're not actually buddies like jeff is my buddy I mean, yeah, we've flog hard but like, he is my body. I don't want to hang out with anybody else other than him like, of course I living out my friends but like we've locking giggle together and I think that's it's .

what you need it's .

what you need because you're stuck with this person no.

when it's so sure, like I used to crm online when I would hear people being like he's my best friend like, no, he is like that is my best friend.

Like you say .

IT like that. Like girls be like he's my best friend and we bought to her .

forever home together. I don't just nchu butterfly that I got one thing he is the other like, okay, then your is absolutely had a divorce turn out also, jeff is, you know, I mean, listen, i'm a comic. I get up on stage. I rip him in U. S. all.

I talk about, you know, personal, intimate things in our life, and he lets me do IT and not that he like gives me permission, but I said IT, early on I was like, I need you to be cool with me, talking my truth in for my point of view, my perspective. And he is like, I never he is so proud of me when i'm on stage and seeing him get excited when i'm having a moment. There is no ego in him.

He is never threatened and he is like, go let IT rip. Do your fucking and thing and that's what makes me horry so he's warning on the golf course I come on stage and he's like waiting in the wings. He's like, you fucked and crush i'm like i'm ready to sit on your face kind of honey right now I know we from anxiety and a horny and I know a wave of emotions here no is when you .

start talking about sex on the show, sometimes people are like, oh, I got to leave and go fuck my husband or my yon to who were the fuck so you're welcome, jeff. Your so successful the comedian have you always been funning like, talk to me, you as a child like what was going on is either funny um .

well know I was a fddi kid I that I was a kid who like always had like a quarter pound of flesh and they are in their a backpack so yeah I think I had to be be fund but no I I always you know was always in theater and I always know I wanted to do comedy I mean, since I was like sick, I was like i'm going to be i'm going to tell jokes and um I the first time I didn't stand IT was at my junior prom.

I roasted the senior class and that was like one of the pivotal moment I was always doing theater and I was like, you know, think about how awkward high school most awkward in your life, right? I must be a social path of us. Like, I want to go up there and rose to seniors. And to stand up like that could have social.

So we need to pause t on. You did stand up at your .

prom on pause.

Are you at the prom? Like also with the day?

Yes, I am with a senior who invited me.

So you're in a country.

I'm in a gown and no one knew. So yes, why I pop up literally like from under a table with the microphone and I, are you ready to rock? So because we have the video of IT and it's just it's insatiate.

I have never heard of this like out of problem. You like a band.

No, I was the surprise entertainment. Yeah, yeah, I was instead, I so I get up at, I do like twenty minutes and I remember walking on stage and thinking of, fuck, I have to do this forever. So then I just, I can never stop because you just know I know yeah but like you .

are you confident like you didn't have a fucked with people going to think about you at school?

I honestly no. And I listen, I want to the same school from kinder to twelve. I impresses foker anymore. But no, I think that like listen as a comic, if you don't feel like a touch Cindy, when you're try on new shit, then you're not doing a right, right. But now I just, there was nothing.

There was no other feeling in my life that I wanted to chase as much as that feeling of making people laugh, love. And i'll tell you another, we're really gonna boost jeff now. But when I I was living in york, when I met jeff, we've together a long time. And I looked at in one day and I said, lisa, I ve got to go to lay, I ve got to follow this, I got to scratch that age and he sitting to look a book in the beat, sunshine. And he's like, so much and he's like, follow your dreams and in that moment was like, oh, fuck, i'm onna married this guy yeah we were long distance for like eight years yeah why I know it's I have girl's come on my father long distance it's been like three months of my boyfriend. And like, if you're thriving in your own zone and if that person can't handle, you're doing your own thing that you don't .

need to be to get OK long descent for you. He stayed in new .

york and you went to L. A. Yes, but I was only in our late for four or five years.

But then I moved back to a land my dad past, and jeff was finishing like a graduate program ork back and forth. I mean, we we just made IT work, everything to break up, never a pause. IT was just always me and jeff daddy.

okay, because I may be real. You in jeff daddy, or define the odds because I have been a little cunt in my podcast. Sometimes I like I don't know if like long distance is worth IT. I used to say that also in college mostly because I might enjoy college.

It's also not worth that because, right, if you're in college, you're you are probably cheating you like let's be on IT if you're involved right .

now listening to this with the longest on's boyfriend you're getting cheated .

on yeah leave IT also just say, hi, we're going to break up during college and i'll see you when you're work for golden sex and .

you're at here now what do we do IT done? Yeah I think that was really my vision was like, it's just too hard. And college, however, when you are adult and you can make a long distance work, it's amazing.

But that takes very secure people here to have trust and to be OK with that long distance. Really good for you guys. He used to come on my comedy shows.

and this is like when I was in new york performing for ten people in an audience and the brooklin bridge. And he suits from his real state job, and he sit on the front row and people thought, was my manager to? We were like, wow, your manager is a really dialed into your career. And I know I blew that guy.

stop. Honestly, that was probably kind of hot. You're like, so t you're like looking I am like your business manager. You're like u we're not supposed you, but we should go fuck in my car.

I like that for you. Got, yeah, the jetty. I only sold the seta about three years ago. Couldn't wish I would have kept .

IT with the settle was the first car I ever wanted. And then I just could never get a first car until, like, I start to make him my own money. My parents were like, we're never getting you a car, so get. And I was like, h okay, but I always wanted to get a ja.

I shot out. Devolved, there are great sponsor, would love a new A. I really, when I sold that car, I was actually sad about IT.

It's A Q car. Then, sensible, I didn't go g wagon. I went, you know, hybrid aud q five shadow to ali sponsorship. I think I want the kyan because that was the car of my dad had, and I really wanted. I was like that when I know I think I might bian.

no, that was like, I realized that shift from your childhood really sticks with you when I went to a private prep school that like, I really couldn't ford. I got like a socks scholarship for high school. I didn't have a car.

And so i'm taking the bus every day. And these bitches are rolling in with like maza audience because their daddies are so fuck in, rich. yeah.

And I remember there's this one bitch that had this cool, poor IT was the and SHE had IT like there was a White wheat like black wheels. And I was like, whenever I get my first paycheck, that's me not working at my smoothly shop job like i'm getting the fucking poor. And the first thing that I bought for myself for a was the post. And I like, the only reason I still got IT was because I think of that girl.

I memory is that cool memory and like that. And Michelle has a, i'm getting IT. I was like, and i'm like.

I don't even know if I actually one of the porch. I was literally just like living out my, like, high school insecurity. I finally got IT like, do I like that? I actually respond me. Okay, you went university of mississippi.

Oh yeah. I can you .

explain your experience in three words?

Oh yeah. Unhinged forth role. That's two.

That's what .

the park OK unhinged man is. what? and. Just a later, I had the best four years of my life shout out to the university mississippi.

Just had to show for them last week. And I I loved IT. My college experience was out of this world. wow. yeah.

Like from freshman year.

from freshman ir. Here's the thing, I even being from the south, because I Robinet leana, I didn't know anything about this sippy. The reason I indeed up at all miss is because I was the only college that way.

You like actually what I got, you that I fuck there.

I thought I was going to go to pepine. And you like the other arts, like, imagine me in malawi. O absolutely. So I thought I was going to go to peer.

I was two weeks with work graduation, and I didn't get in because I thought I was going to go to their prestigious ether program. Well, here's the thing. I was student body president, but a blind cap could have done Better on the SAT.

I'm not a clastic test taking on either on paper rough. okay. So I didn't get in.

And I remember sitting down with the college council and she's there's two schools that have good thear departments and they still are taking applicants. He was alabama. And Alice, I swear to god, outs my hand on the bible.

I visited alabama. I'm in tsk, a loser. I met like the sigma AI house. I watched a mansor cocaine of a chicken tender. And I said, I called my daddy and I said, i'm going to all this like, I like the party. But this is, this is another world.

This is a next level.

Shit shows up. Boxer, mississippi. Didn't know anybody. I did the story rush by the time my life.

I don't know how I gotta a good ready, like all of the things I just clicked. And I and I, we own a home there. Now I bought a house and up you did I go back all the time?

I love IT chicken binger. Yeah, IT was a lot. And you know, in the south we're got juicy tender. It's like it's a slim tender. The take, it's a thick boy and I just remember going I don't know if i'm gonna .

that's some real should no, I love that you're honesty is like I love almost like I was my it's the only place I got accepted but is you end up and not, I think, a great note for anyone that's in high school listen got IT maybe there are people that listen in high school there are you be prise you guys like IT really .

doesn't matter where the fuck you good and you will find your spot like I remember so devastated thinking, okay, i'm not going to be this like a shakespeare tor what going on and I ended up like it's it's the greatest joy in my life. And also, I would not have met my husband because my bedroom, tina, who works with me and else, or on my production company, SHE, was from new york. So this bitch lies down.

We're both in the theater department. I'm like where the fucker you from. She's like where the fucker you from. And she's going to introduce me to my husband. So I had to go all .

the way to mississippi to find yang. Oh my god. So ant, to be mention severity life, I played soccer, so I didn't I still to say I don't fully understand severity life. And I feel like what i'm seeing on tiktok may not be at the exact representation of what I used to be because now bitch are like synchronised dancing and stuff, which maybe IT was back then.

But can you work through IT is really wild. I can ask us a lot about what my storage life experiences. Okay, I do think you're write social media completely changed again. I mean, when I went to college, he to date myself but he was a pursuit. Facebook came so, you know, I didn't have to worry about somebody looking at my online profile. I just showed up in a lilli pulls or skirt was like you're ready to fuck and do this or what um I was pledge class president I was big day a chair I had the best time and also like I see girls online to talk about hazing no one hates my ask I showed up to the delta game my house at the university of missip I I A monogram pillow with my name on IT and a new new bottle like barefoot White wine I at the time of my life, but also one, five, ten. You don't really have, you don't?

I stop. I was gonna cking say, like I feel like what i'm watching on on tiktok rate. Now it's first of all the dorm situation. How are they like I shot up with a jans bar backpack and I had like a duffle bag and I like through you in that I like box of .

ebay and you all my remate who i'd never meet up before. I said, what color scheme er we go in we did lime Green, hot pink and black and literally in the bag got you, got the computer, the one sheet you had once at a shit changing your when .

the first day of schools are they have those like poster sales and I got like chatting, take them on one wall and then I got like hot girls asses because I was like this really the .

guys think we're cool. Fit exactly I hot girls in my wall because that make sense .

is so much sense yeah so I don't understand when they're like let's do a transformation and they do that click and IT goes from like a dray dorm to immediately it's like you look like in a fuckyou.

I have her sister who that's her job. Now SHE runs as a whole business where SHE redoes the omas storm rooms wow, like antiques in the room. They're well, I mean, I had literally like three those stack from plastic VS.

If you get IT like staples that even go to a container store, I went like off his max and I put my phones in there and like a bottle of like burberry that was rolling around in the back, like nothing about my room. I had to dress top out. I didn't even have a laptop, my daddy y an IT company.

And he was so afraid that something he was going to like steal my ignorance ity. And finally, I called him as, like, that I gotta laptop, like I can't be the person. Log in the desktop on a dolly all the way up to the liver. That what the fuck we do here? Yeah.

I was also .

matter. I didn't really need, you know, computer.

But but still the point this is like IT was IT is different right now. And I do believe some of the bitches on tiktok are really going above and beyond for social media. Like if you're someone I call leg right now, that is literally just bringing your pb sheet and you ve got a book .

bag and that's oh my god. Like, shit, do you? Member, when jersey sheet, like jersey sheet came out and I felt like you were roling around on the part, leave, I G really actually not comfortable and not sweat waking. I remember my mom is like a give sam the jersey pottery barn team sheet, and I was like in flames when I woke my party on .

the flu back on, I remember got like this dark gray. And the first time my guy came on my sheet and I only had, again, one fucking pair. Yes, I was at that shit. Diamond bucked.

And I just like a Better card later on, after the come to dry, you were like trying to scrape IT off. You're like, what does get that off at the end?

Fucking disgusting. anyway. Okay, so you were rushing. You got into your word. Can you like, tell me, like you remember? Like your chance?

Do I remember chance? I thought you would never ask. So interesting. And so I went to the home chapter. Delta gama was founded at the university mississip.

IT was a big deal that they lend a woman not from mississippi, into the radi. I don't know who wrote me a rec, but they they saw my irs common and they said she's got potential yeah. So I he was funny during rush.

So we used to do this thing called doorsill OK. And you might have seen on on be on a tiktok now they they ban IT, but um like so somebody comes a knocks on the door OK the door opens and like two hundred girls hit the deck. I was always on the bottom because I was beefy, so I be on the bottom of this door, holding up the weight of my story sisters on me.

And we be like, D E L T A, D E L T A, and do this whole thing. And then what would happen is, everybody, we get off the dog pile and run out and grab a girl who's rushing. So you're like running through the long be like em Emily, where are you? And you had a british like, you didn't know who they were, but you have I had giant cards.

I mean, you're studying them and then you're like looking around like I can see her and then this little girl, Emily pops out the bush. You like, it's me. And then we would run them through the dg house.

And of course, since I was on the bottom, I was like breadless. By the time I got, I was, where's Emily? Emily from Jackson, mississippi.

You you all your makeup is gone. Your drench .

and so moist. It's it's like it's not healthy.

Your back is blown out. It's awful. You have nothing left to get.

I have nothing left. And then you prove them in this room, this chapter room, and, you know, we're like sitting at them, like breathing hot fire breath on them, just being, like trying to get him to cry IT. Like to, you want to be here? This is the greatest day of my life. I ate IT up.

though I had the time of my life. Oh my god, what do you think you loved about IT? Because it's a little cult.

No, IT is. But I really just met all my best friends there. And again, I there was not having. So when I see girls that had like a really like they ever lined us up, like circled our fat, I would be like, I win.

I get IT just you all go home on the fat as one I put on forty five pounds by first one year, like just you all go home IT was a lot of, I mean, we did like fully anthropy work. We had beijing parties. IT really was not toxic.

I'm sure a couple bitches mean, we thought a couple times. But I was also kind of the black sheep, like I was always in to a standards because I was smoke and cigaret standing up that that was a weird rule. If you know, if you want to smoke a cigarette, if you want a repeater, or you got set down.

we would.

because you gotta look lady like.

oh my god, do you can smoke six, but you just have .

to do what to down? So I was sitting up by cloud, and but if I was sitting down having a cigarette, that's closure. You know.

do you still to the stay at down.

or do you I only have, I hope, my life insurance policy .

to hear about this. I learned.

i'm kidding hypothetic ticals. Allegedly, I love just to sig, what I am in italy. It's my vacation. Sig, but i'm not a smoker. OK, contrary to popular belief, people hear my boys, I are not a smoke.

Got a great place.

But can I also say to the Younger generation I really get concerned about, I was at the college bar the other day, and we have the bar in our town called the library. So when my dad would see my all my charges, he call me when, as I got demand, had to return your food and put to the library. This is insane.

He didn't know as a bar. Oh, it's my favorite. But literally I see these kids like everybody's rip in the bate and they're all passing IT around.

And I turned into a Young man and the born ago. Honey, this is how you get mono or cold source. I don't know what we're doing here, but you all all need to just have your own vae. I have no.

no I something completely. You know what? This is how you are gona get long.

Can 我们 要 发展？ 我， i worried about absa bar virus. I am not worried about their lungs. Okay, come on now. I .

don't have time for that.

What you guys are gonna stopped. throw. Get your own, your life together.

Study again, stop dwelling. Stop dwelling. We're done. okay. I know you referred yourself as the .

elder milenio. That's right. Young woman and Young you for you're very Young.

Thank you. I want to talk about some of the millennial trends, and I want to hear your take is do you think we should bring them back? Or how do you feel about them in general? I'm so sad for this side parts.

Oh, let me tell you, there is nothing more dramatic, more old hollywood glam than aside part. I was actually in my already held the other day, and I found my old composition photo. IT was such a deep side part.

IT started at the base of my job. okay. IT was just a little over. I had no eyebrows. But I either, I think the middle part that i'm fighting for my life right now, I have an intense colic. And if you knew the amount of time, effort and orbit dry test spray that is holding me together.

because which way do we go?

Which way is your hair usually?

所以 IT wants .

to become， he wants to IT really does. I love the deep side part. You know, obviously, you know, if you do the deep side part and we do the sticks straight like the cheese straighter, it's not a good luck.

It's it's a really not a good look. And I feel like depending on what face are at your life, like when I look back at pictures of myself as a Young girl, yeah, I was objectively not. I wasn't like the cute st, okay, I really, I really wasn't IT wasn't.

I didn't know that though. No one pulled me aside and said, let's blend a smoky eye. Let's draw in our eyebrows.

Let's maybe go for a illegally walk so we can get some steps in. I was deep, deep throat like, you know, hot pockets, judging, burbling. I had not a care in the world .

when .

you were happy. I've never been happier. No, now, now i'm getting everything I want to. My god.

this fuck is so I want to go back to the good old day. Yeah, it's true that like when you don't have the eye for IT, I guess I can say when I look back at pictures of myself, there is a difference between the side part and the come over. And when you do the commode and you're not going for hollie wood glam, you're not going to an event and you're just looking for the hype, IT can really look busted.

So I think I think you're write IT depends on what what you're doing with IT. But I would say the side part is usually a flop. Okay.

alright, you know what? Fair enough. But you also have a perfect straight line through your heads. I just think that you need to be a little more inclusive to the colic community. That's all I saying.

Here's something crazy. I have a fuck in colic there. Yeah, exactly the amount of time that I spent pushing, pushing, moving gel started seventy and bitch, and it's fucked. And almost to look luck in the afternoon, this was IT was sitting, sitting melting clips.

And the clips I i'll go to an event will be about to walk the right carpet. And the clips out removed the .

clips last minute. Always the amount of jail and like, shit that I had to get to this point. yeah. And I sleep with IT sometimes. Like that.

yeah, i'm dedication, love IT.

It's the trauma from childhood where I, like, look back at those curvatures that I was putting over my fucking. I looked so fucking bad that I am state part and I won. Never deter. Have you ever had sight?

Bings, no. Well, I did go through a little bit of emotion ACE. I was always, yeah, but I would be at the like the bands workout or in my junior high and I would always be like a full holzer outfit and a puka hl neckless. I still dress like day Matthews band, ask, but I was at good seeing, you know, something corporate, simple plan, or one of those plans stop.

I feel we would have been friends like I was. I went through such an emo phase, and I would do the colorful, like skinny jeans with A A band. T shiri was obsessed, simple plan, blink quinary to. Then I went on to all time low. I had all these different, like, I was obsessed, our living.

and I wanted to be her. Your overall of bean is, I remember being like a chubby six greater. And i'd come home and I put her city in. I like, because we had no money, so I had to six discharger. And I would just literally be like, out my mom.

like this one. I was naturally, I would think, like, happy, like I didn't want to be emails. But I love the concept of being if we're a little matter, yes, that's no. okay. How do you feel about tall UGG?

How do you feel about tall eggs?

Oh god, okay. Well, here's my thing. My best feature on my body is my thing, ankle OK. I never have you ever seen a nice, more developed, thin or ankle. That is a very.

very nice ankle .

thing because that gets thin. It's very thin. And I also have a nice toki viage. I've been told from the toe, uh, the foot fetish community that my foot well very wide in a shoe, the top of my toes apparently very .

central really. Have you ever thought about making a couple box? I have.

but I did see that one person left me a Better review on wicky feet. And it's not my rating down to like at three point five. We very absent .

actually on lucky feet. Are you what the fun?

I know the thing. And somebody at one of my shows is like, k, by the way, I just want you to know like you're rating went down on wicky friends is like.

what the fuck is wicky feds? Yeah dude, how though i'm not .

getting you I am convinced that .

almost every single men .

in the world has fsh. Hey, if dudes want to send me money to look at .

my logic can test just it's natural too. It's nature ther you got that you don't know one's getting like foot plants don't getting like a really fit if you got IT or you don't.

And if you got IT on IT, I would like to say because you have such a huge international platform, you know, a big nike fan, but i've got a wide, wide grocery foot. And if you guys could send me some pairs cut in a wide, that would be fantastic. I go online, and the only pair that's an extra wide as an orthotic.

So please, for the love of god, make a wide in an air force one. Okay, so I can take that opportunity. I could, I couldn't say something to, like five piece in the middle es, but I said, can I get a custom nike in a White because my falling as they no there .

literally going on here and be like what other brand deals that I want to get out of this episode?

Yes, I what are we're a pora and free shoes for life and or big and ogg. G, thank you. Back to the ug, okay, with the ogg. So what are you? I'm having a lot of.

I am having a lot of fun with you too. Okay, back to the to be fair, sometimes is also hard to podcast with people that like my favorite usually is when people podcast for living because like you know how to how to wait so thank you. Thank you for showing up to say, okay, tell gues.

Okay, tall log, I don't like a sweat. Caf, okay, you know, I would wear them. I went to a Christian schools. We had to wear the uniforms.

And then the winter.

that was the thing. You were the tall, I like mary James or anything tall with my little like capex schoolgirl uniform. And I just remember half in IT, you know, through the parking lot, just like these are fucking hot.

We did, you have boys at your school. We, what the fuck either? I went to, I went to a folk ed k through A, I was like in cake school, and I had to wear the plad scare.

And I used to say this like my boyfriends and like, I know I taught like I was fucking hitlist and auto sexual fanta sy OK. Now i'd look out in IT. But back then I was like to the knee.

And if not, they had sloppy with the fucking and rule, literally, old school ship. And then we had to have the sigh highs. They weren't sight highs.

They went to the knee and they were the big socks with the mary jane e shoe, mary. And then they change to sample shoes at one, which was like, yeah, the black and the White shoe. And then we had the college .

shirts that wasn't we in the whole uniform. We could wear the socks, but we in the winter they would allow us to the. And then eventually they got pants because I think I like water into the principles office and said, i'm fuck in freezing, okay?

Heavy said, so if i'm called, imagine what these things, beaches are feeling. This is unbelievable. We have rights.

We do have bright. Fuck you up. okay? yeah.

So cycle.

Oh, well, that's a little trigger ing. And you should have warned me that you're going to bring that up. And such A I worked at so cycle, okay, in hollywood around the corner. But how what I when I moved out.

I needed a part time job.

okay? And I couldn't a job at a restaurant, which was really weird because I had worked something like the best restaurants in new york. I had crazy and Michelle and star experience, and I could not get a job working as a bartender, even like a hostess and l do, because I was an important star.

That's why I wore a sensible support road to work. I would grow up to these like interviews with this insane you or grazie and they're like, but are your NIPS hard? You know, I like, I can make, how do you are back? Yeah, I mean, I would go.

And I would think that I was going for like a nice like like an interview with spot o and they were like, actually we have a nike club and we were wonder if you want to be a promoter i'm like twenty three years old. I should not be roaming the streets of loss and Angeles trying to get people to come your nightclub. That's annoying.

So I don't have a so cycle. And I remember my interview. I was interview in a beyon the front desk, but I said because I wanted let them think that like I was here for the long hong, of course, I remember saying, like, obviously i'd start with the front tasks and I understand you have to work your way up. But my goal is to eventually be an instructor .

and the girl interviewing me just like.

yeah, we're good and about you says, like, you know, star of the fitness community. But I actually had a great time. Soul cycle was so fun.

I met my best friends, my body rain and a shot to write. He's still one of my best friends. We used to get in trouble because we would work at the front desk and be like gravely hungover course.

And I be eating like a tripod library, a ball and a diet doctor, pepper. And finally, my man ers at either. This is like a fitness studio.

People don't celebrities don't want to come and work out when you're like dry heating over a barber. Cobo, get your shit together. No, yeah.

I kind of love that for you. You're like, know what you like. This is and this is one going to be and i'm only at the front test.

So like that you can go back there and can work out. I'm sorry either. I've gone on one of the bikes before. Yeah I when I was working this add sales job, they were like team bonding. Let's go across the street and like during lunch time, go on the fucker soul cycle .

bikes IT was right. Yeah, it's not great.

It's not like a good horse. Backrib, really, i'm getting a little turned on and to rubbing my clinton right away.

This physical paint, this is where your retha is just ripped off. Like you have road. Rh, but it's on your p hole.

I'm getting like bis, and like you go to sleep that night, you can feel like your pElvis area like pulsing.

not a sexual way. But then actually when you do through three times and you're in IT, we see I knew how to work the system there. I would know all these big celebs have come in and I would slip my little business card that I made, unlike this, to print, okay, have my head shot on IT.

And I would slide IT into their like bags. And I would like if you ever knew, assistant, if you ever need some me to open for you on the road, please ask me, oh god, so funny. I did that to witness comings, and I must have given her ten business cards.

He never once called me. And then we're buds now. And I lead like with me. I just know that I used to drop my business card. I mean.

was ten years ago, like me, I was either down to be your assistance or open for you. I did .

either. So IT was amazing.

I love this. So we love soccer cle. Okay, skinny jeans.

Oh, again, I improve skinny jeans because I do want to flex my best asset. But I mean, god, that for me, you know, you see your crotch her during souls like L I always had a easter or uti from a skagen IT just was so tight right in the grund IT can be worse than .

gene shorts though. Oh, I don't fucked .

with gene shorts. You don't know. What do we do in here? No, what? Absolutely not.

No fucker with the gene short. What you? I publishing forty? I need to be a gene short.

Get out of here. We also. Are you just.

what are you doing? I do.

Do course. I think I do. Are you lying? no.

I the first time you lied on this body.

I say, our unit. I here, can I tell you i'm A, i'm A B bot. I put on a little way. And I had all these gene shorts and I about rosa and I just I tried them on the other day and I was like, it's a so i'm just very bitter about.

no, no, no. And I get IT like gene shorts. You have to be really like, you have to be ten. You need to feel good, that means to be the perfect thing or a short dress that flow is always a great go to like, i'm always like, I can like relax here, but gene shorts are like the other kind of a baby.

All dress can go. And I know this had a moment on tiktok, but i've got giant jugs. And I like a little, I like to just sit right here, cities under my neck, and they are real.

Yeah, oh yeah. I don't tell you what. I got perfect npt for a large breast. I've got a really nice breast to area older ation yeah.

that's my one. You are so much good shit. call.

My husband's fantastic life is great. Now I haven't shit today and I do have anxiety, but than diving. No, but I am, listen, great. I I am always down, especially, you know being spot, like I pick apart myself all the time. No.

it's nice to like I be like yeah I fuck and like something about myself and then they're not where they used to be.

I definitely with lived but they are the arial is nice. I'm fucking .

jealous and I am already picturing IT like i'm thinking of its actually your husband lucky being on superthin .

eyebrows oh no, those they should never come back.

okay? But what's worse, they they like giant. I mean, I looking a little big today.

I might think too. I'd rather more than less really because you can always, friend aside, take him to you know, coffee being and just say, hey, what are we doing? You know, this comes from love .

where we can pill IT back.

But you can never. The amount of gross here on star oil and m make you go blind. And they rule in the collagen and need the eyes.

Yes, oh yeah, that's a whole thing. Now, yeah, apparently we've using all the last year rooms, and they apparently dissolved all the fat and negar eyes. And I know you, but no thing eyebrowed should never come back.

That is a crime against humanity. IT should be outlawed. Ed, you should have to do hard time if you're overpacking.

you need get your but like, it's so unfair because I look at pema Anderson and like in my twisted mind and my god, I wish I could pull that off. No one can pull that off but her, but her, and just let her have IT and move on. I really I suffered and I think because you said earlier, you didn't have eyebrows.

I growing up had I had the hair. I had nothing to show for the hair r because if you saw in the right lighting you'd see like what looked like the union. And it's like, i'll just peach for Z.

I finally died them when I was in high school, and I had never felt Better in my life. I was like, oh my god, my five had has gone. I've got the angles IT looks good, but then I just kept building on IT ah and I feel like I really took IT to level. Where I see pictures of myself in the freshman year of .

college is bad. They got too much.

They were black. yeah.

We deadly over died for a long time, and they were the block. I always had thick, natural bushy Browns, but I would go to the nail salon and they were out the never. I'm like, i'm get a fresh jail said, and i'm get my eyebrows done in the back.

And I came out one day and the tips were gone. I mean, they they ran away with. And then if you know how long IT takes to grow that shit back, oh, your book for your fuck.

So my entire college gare, I had my deep side part of the a paired goto pants. I'm a halter top. My perfect nipples are hanging in out. I put on forty five pounds, and I got no brows and and I didn't blind to smoke. Yeah, I mean, i've really come way picturing .

you smoking of bucky sag.

the sag and a nice, you know, Jessica simpson wedge the god great. And then if you want to hold up with somebody i'm kind of in a go to now you didn't even have to take him off. They could just like a hand up there and just figure you, you know and that was that was fun.

The with was impeached. I think we should be bring toys bar.

I think we should. I know people were try to do the barrel gene and i'm not, you know, what you can do is think, or somebody in a barrel gene, you can't even get a half of fist of there. Although who wants to finger something in a barrel gene? And I see if this coming down the street and barrel gene, i'm like not a trap. No, it's not the look goals. That's what we need the barrow genes around.

But don't you think that is where that's the definition of women dressing for and where they like the girls were? Think.

think these are you? I don't know that. Well, as a full one just right now, here in the flush, I say, no, don't fucked and do IT let's .

give with IT you think out, chose back by to the barrel yeah. Okay, this is controversial because seeing your ankle, and I guess word this goes again, everything that we've talked about today about this one body part, that's really a highlight for you. Ankle socks. I don't know if you realize our current out.

what are you o ankle. Oh, but what do you have?

These are is that .

not an ankle? No angle .

doxies where you're showing your fucking y ankle.

Okay, but I have a no show.

I thought there was a no show. You no socks.

I thinking I had a wide fuck in foot if you think i'm let these chatter blocks just marinate here. I'm not trying to make a casserly. Okay, again, nike, i'd like a wide. Ah, okay, wait. So I thought that was a cruel soc.

So this is whatever the fuck you wanna call IT but this is not an ankle sock.

This is that like hilly beer ah .

like ana Randy .

and I did not know that I was I feel that .

the problem is this will cover your one of your .

best asset yeah um but I will say I my husband, one of his favorite looks as a look you have on right now. He likes the bike short overside switcher and i'll do the you know the script you .

will I will start because you're alert right now you wouldn't technically look at you.

I know I like I, I don't know what to do. Like, can I get when I did like this?

I don't know what to do. You is getting out in here. You know, I started this bucking podcast, sing to, I was breathing and out fucking hot.

Can someone turn on the the air? Okay, to talk about, obviously, you mentioned your family went through a hard time. You've lost your data.

And so that kind of like things for bring them. You know, i'm your fathers, so we did. Yes, dad, R, I P, we love you.

KO, yeah, love you. Can you moved in with your mom? Yes, and you moved in with jeff, with your mom. And at this point, you weren't marry, write, you're engaged. So, okay, backtrack.

When my dad died, I was living only a pick of my shit. I moved home OK. And then I moved at some point up to new york.

But then when the pandemic, jeff and I moved from new york back to a landa, and i'm living in my child at home. So jeff, I and we haven't moved out like like we are still three company. why? A because I talk to my financial advice of the other day and he's like together you're live in pretty jey.

You could you could move on. I don't know why I think I mean, IT listen, I adore my mom. She's my body.

I constantly think like the thought of we're sitting at home alone on a friday night hits me in a deep way that like that just shows down my spine. Yeah, I don't know. It's not Normal. Um my husband loves IT because he gets treats like a king you know i'm the one who can am the .

one who can feel that we I was going to say, walk me through this is you, your husband, your mom? And it's like a Normal day. Are you guys able to like slightly like what's the room set up? Like where is where .

so you would think that i'd been like the primary bedroom. I am not. We just blow out a couple closet.

So we built like another primary. My mom is still in the main bedroom. Oh yeah. I mean, my childhood bedroom that we like blew out two clauses to expand. You know, it's something. So to be actually do the day they're like what's a wild is like place you've ever had sex and like where I currently have sex in my home with my mom down the hall. Sometimes we try and be like jeff, I can tell from that sound you like and no, no.

no had you ever had sex in your child to do him like even got a thinker to felt up? You love to go in there.

Ah oh, no, I was a lot of boys in there, but I also, you know, I don't think a lot of guys called. No, i'm Q 干嘛？ No, he is funny being back in my childhood home.

But you know, my husband, my mom adoors with him and he just get treated like a king where IT is funny being back at my house because my mom, even though, like i'm run in the rules to like, make money and pave everything, throw shit in a basket OK. I don't look your parents at this growing up like my mom, i'll walk in the door from being on tour had that you got fourteen things you need to Carry. It's all in your best.

And I opened all your male, your taxes to do tomorrow. You know you've got some money in your bank account. I'm good going through my shit.

Doesn't matter that i'm an adult. SHE still treats me like i'm thirteen years O I O IT is so cozy. I mean, it's insane. But my mom is my mom and dad were each others truly loves of their life and my mom is eleven years older than I like dad or original google yeah. So my mom, it's been willing trying to watch her date now and she's been been ambushed unlike these dating apps multiple times. It's like SHE think she's talking to an architect from new york somewhere um in another country and he's trying to steal all social security number so really I have to live with my mom because it's fort knox SHE just trying to get you know a little dick on the side and i'm not going to have an inherited ance because some guy in on the other side the world is stealing all of the funds. Oh my god.

it's bad. Oh my fucking god .

and my mom's great and she's kind of at this point, she's seventy six. Then look a day of my mom. Hot, perky tits like tiny SHE spunky SHE travels. And I keep trying, you know, I asked my audience all the time, like anybody got to rich uncle or .

great dad .

who my mom doesn't, to get married again. And it's like to be that words and right girl.

we that's so incredible and I actually agree like the thought of a parent being alone as you getting older makes me want to start crying. So I think you're like a lovely human being for to that, but like our U S. Caring at all. So you're not caring when you're having sex that your .

mom is going to hear you. No, but I dub I have much Better sex when i'm on road and i'm in a four seasons. And yet we kind of feel bad that the parts got away. And IT is funny. We do call my mom the taller because when we like go to dinner with her, SHE sits in the back seat and SHE watches her ipad and she's gigged to her youtube .

and jeff gets along with her.

Jeff gets along with her. I mean, listen, he is so patient. But jeff is my mom from up north and my husband from up north.

So they kind of like have their own banter. And i'm just sitting on the port drinking. And S. T, I do declare, why are you yelling in this house?

I am obsess that. I also just think, like the fact is, as a comedian, like it's a really good dynamic. It's working. It's that I like now.

I would like a little bit more money because if I could expand, if we could upgrade, we need, I would like a big settle with like a guest house. So I I at least get to be in my own four walls without Robin get barking down my throat. But we're put that on the region board.

something something that you talk about in your stand up special that had me cackling. Well, two things we have to talk about, two things. One is blow jobs .

because love and hate. M sweety.

sweety, sweet. The way that you described. Ed, heading downtown to the winner, yeah, and seeing the winner and .

have a winner house approaching IT. There is a goofy s hold. Yeah.

the winter hold. IT works if you like. So your tongue .

in there a little. So it's a little if you get that little. And I and we all give .

IT all surprised to, but I never .

trying over the other whole you know I mean, i'm like that is you do you on I when you're married, at least you know when your spouse is diary, it's every thirty minutes just like your sweet dog. So it's like when you like h you like eaten. But I I know jeff had, you know how opinion poppers A T G I friday is on a golf outing and he's been bitching about IT all day. No, I don't want to make his. These are no.

it's fucked when you do like I I have never like a bena pose and I know that's like bad of me to say but like i'm in the blow job and it's the accessory to a blow job moment yeah but you no in between that little gooch, I mean, I all ticket the .

gooch i'm in the group am hit the time I slapped around a little bit. I take the dig, just hit me on both sides like i'm doing a little. You get ready with me I mean, i'm doing the layers of blush patric top the whole work. But I say you right now, i'm not get not not going for the back.

What I love about .

let me is rinks ed out in the yard.

No, that was crazy. Is if like i've had guys before, you like go down there, go down there and i'm just like rubbing because I like I can smell IT the tunnel. It's gost one wafting towards my nostril and i'm uninterested yeah in the fecal matter I got a long nail .

you'd just tickle. You would take the skin you roll IT around a little.

but because it's also not lost them. If I go down there and then I go to the winner and then he puts IT in your shit is in my fuck in vee heading to the hospital.

Thank you. That happened before to me. You know what we're trying not to do? Have a repeat. Yeah, okay. So yeah.

we are back. What I do appreciate you doing, and I could feel the energy in the stadium and .

the stadium. I was the theatre. But yes, I am also playing stadium.

IT was a stadium. IT was a good stadium. Is you talking to men and just being like you say a Better, but like not really thinking about the dick while you're on the dick.

The last thing I have ever thought about while I have a dig in my mouth is that dick in my mouth. I am thinking about the drama that is going on in the next door APP. I am thinking about, you know, the road. Greg coon, I possibly may have run over in the out q 5 hybrid。

Where are you deep in the door or next door?

It's insane.

Do I didn't get all that?

You don't mean you are an mpilo, but you mire o no, I love that I in a group chat with all the ladies of my neighborhood when I tell you, IT is so fun. We had a harberg lory like two weeks ago. If you give a pack of women, and I do to say pack of women, because we are like wild words, if you give a pack of women um in a suburban community too, clues they have already found the perpetrator they found who was linked to.

We have taken on a full car tee. I just want to say that the FBI couple White suburban women and we are off to the races, not current. We are more shares.

You know, I am like not kidding you. I've heard people talk about this. I think I even if i'm just on the we want to read about like read in on my community, i'd kind of like to get in there because I like dumping IT drama that kind of has nothing to do with me unless I guess there's saying that .

there's like a murdered in our ney is so refreshing if you're like I can be on the prophet and just kind like try me every now and fantastic but yes, there's a there's a matter my bushes, please let me know. Have you read a stocker?

You know what? No.

but not yet. bit. No chAllenge. accepted.

No, i've had one person that has lightly kicked IT up and ouch up that I would .

put IT IT could be equivalent to like .

getting a little stock, but i've done a pretty good job, but really like putting things to an end. When I get the of control, something kicked IT up and not recently.

and math handling IT, I like that. Just my husband runs as a meeting grees at my shows by the bar so know because I A tonic goes that come to the shows and he's in the corner just being like, did you want to a photo and I like jeff SHE is fucking that I told you about her, saw that Carol and run away. Yeah, he loves.

Do you have a soccer? No, but I did have a woman break into my back stage once. Oh yeah. But he was my fault because I given the security guards a couple of chick for party platters. So they were just raw dog and some nugget.

Meanwhile, i'm back there completely out in the nude because I like to, like, really dress up for my shoes. So I come out and I sweat like a beast on stage, and then I rip off my suit. So I was just taken off my glitter suit and about to put on my jeans and a woman in the doorway and she's like, I found you.

you know.

So one thing you say to somebody, you don't say to somebody, I found you eventually follow with, don't worry, i'm not gone to touch you. No, I was like, that's worse. I'd rather you just fuck and grab my cooter and let's call IT a day.

Let's get to the point. So what do you want? So what did you do this literally like.

can I just put on some clothes and I put on my clothes. I like, what's up branch? Like, man, I just told, I said hand to get back here. Should I just the security guard.

you know, like my name's no. That so funny about when they tell those security guards like, oh.

where friends were from, that sometimes you like, oh, go in, go in. I'm not worried about a male stocker. I think i'd like a little bit of a boost to the ego, but I have always said that I will probably be murdered one day in A T J.

max. You know, a White gown name like you know mell or a time yet. Like that's gonna happen.

That's who's taking you. I think that's who's taking that. Like you didn't read my D M.

and I am so sorry. I didn't see. I did. And I think I think a light stocks is always good because IT keeps you like overdoing.

So we're actually .

like doing things. We're really big deal. Yeah back to the low .

absolutely great transition.

I actually i'm done in the world is the point is is ladies, you don't have to feel bad and in your special bread winner. Really, really touch on the important fact is like no one is thinking about giving head when they are giving head and it's OK if you're multi tasking and that's fine. And what what was the other thing you've cking said that was? So oh, oh my god, that you believe that all manners lately on the spector have A H.

D. I do. I think so. Here's that the men are really good at getting died into one thing.

My husband incredibly successful, but he's successful one thing at a time. Meanwhile, I will be on stage delivering jokes. I already have my like uber eats order in my head.

Yes, and i'm like a fuck. I've gotten call my attorney on monday about the thing with the thing, and I am mui asking all the time. I mean, there some days where I feel like add is can cripple you, but I realized it's actually, I feel like all women superpower.

Yes, I S IT gets shit done. We get shit done because I do not think about any, anything sexual. A while employing my husband, I tell women the best thing.

One of people come to my show. They used to be like, I drugged my husband and then the husband's have the best fuck and time I shows for everybody. But my job is, I like to. I know it's so much I had, I draggled my husband here. I'm like that you didn't .

have to put a gun. He said.

I blow them back stage. If you come to my show, I will put your dick in my mouth.

So you were saying, those people were .

saying they drugged their hard. I probably say that would A A country trying like like drug.

I like all these matters fucked up.

So what they need is the husbands were out working in the yard, and then the women get like a little pill in a in a course lot. And next thing you know, they're in a hearing manto. Could you imagine, no, I all the you just came to and you're like in a room and there's a glitter you a full figure blind woman in a glitter suit just like this is what happens. There's a dick in your mouth that would be like the worst trip of your unhappy .

that I clarify that there because i'm not working. Getting you multiple comments would have been down like that. Why did you talk about how like SHE drugs heard?

I'm so sorry. I meant I meant when you dry likely and then the guys were like, fuck, I ever thought that way and they have a great time. But yes, I don't think guys realized we're always the minds always swaran.

We're always on the move the most. We need to talk about the whole past situation.

We need to talk about the hall pass situation.

Okay, great. Yes, not.

I not trying to give away too much of your special because everyone needs to go watch IT and there's so much good fuck ship this whole past situation you almost can't help me be like, did this actually fucking happen in .

same walk us through also legally? I don't know what I don't know what i'm a love to say, but no I my husban's hall passes the incredible gorgeous model k up love and we were down in the turks to cao s, and she's like, dm, because we had mutual friends. Hey, saw you're down here and like, would you like to come over for like a, what a nice, what a nice. And I hadn't got my husband a Christmas gift, and I lean to, and I was just like, hey, let's go to have some cocktails. I I told that my story sister is down there.

It's so good.

And so I get him there. I drag him over to this cocktail hour. The door answers and its kates husband, just in berliner and jeff immediately, because me of my husbands, the biggest sports fanatic, he had a full boner, full boner standing on the welcome mat of this like.

you know my job well and I just kind of turn .

around and remember i'll haven't in slow motion and I just kind of gave that like, like, fuck you, jeff, look.

and do you think he knew he was there that point? This is a quint immediately .

like he immediately usually locked, died and just and like.

what can go? You're kind of like a brave woman to bring your husband the same room as his hall pass.

Well, also, just in berliner is an incredible athlete, makes a billion dollars and is like a model himself. So I wasn't worried about IT if jeff ever made anything weird. This guy is, you know, an all star apple. I feel like he could, a body chic.

P, no, you're right. End by that. The end of the time, you're probably like if he's gonna go with her, I at least going to go with this and it's not about up.

You know what I told jeff later on, he was like, I could believe me that I said, of course, we never told kate SHE didn't know until I send her the clip from the best. And did you run to buy her? No, I why was just like, kid I used to know like, and in k is the cool is chicken in the world.

I went to know he was so great and of course I did not tell her at that dinner like we're sitting at this table with all their friends and and i'm kicking jeff and like death he've been staring too long that he's in the the corner just kind of froth and at them out and one of their friends had mentioned there, like yet so weird, you know, like kate is is just a coolest check. She's AAAAA. But like guys get really .

weird d around her .

and I can smile in a stream pack tail a quick and weird. But no, they were awesome. But I do think that I have really, you know, exposed jeff to these cool opportunities.

He's going to meet all the sports center eroes. And what have I gotten? Let me tell you.

All I wanted, all I wanted, were to, I wanted an areas to the ticket OK. I wanted to be on set ticket. Did you go? I went on because I made IT happen.

We were in at a great. We were in, I was in australia, okay, and I was doing my torn australian. february.

Well, Taylor swift just happen to be there at the same time of you can get tickets reale in in australia because they don't have a stub hub. Its like a legal okay, but I was like jeff figured that out. Call my agent figured out.

Surprise me. I want to go. It's my last night in sydney. I've been in australia for a month.

Tory, okay, just like I have a surprise for you at night. And like, this is IT. He got tickets.

I'm going to the errors tour. I've got the french of brains is ready. Lets go and next.

You know, our hotel was right around the corner from the sydney harbor bridge OK. So it's five o'clock. I'm like getting ready.

Just going to know. Just good dress casual. I got a surprise.

You really going for me. Like this guy. I thought of everything. He made me climb the sydney harbor bridge instead of letting me go to the airport store. Now, mind you, I have a fear of outdoor heights.

If i'm on a tall balcony, i'm always like, not that I would never want to hurt myself. I don't even choose of thoughts, but I always kind like, look, that happened if I just let right, just a little bit like, what IT right, you can help. So I am on the top of the bridge in this, like full wind suit windbreak, or one zy gripping the side.

And they put me at the the back of the the group. I can even talk because i'm having like flash bags and the how dramatic that works. They put me in the back of the group i'm cleaning on to the side of the bridge and the guy comes up as like, are you going as like I was supposed to be at the area tour and i'm freezing on top of this bridge and we got off the bridge.

We take a photo. The photo that we have on top of the bridge is the fun. You said they were like, smile and i'm like doing a peace. I like.

just like my us oh.

I had stroke out at that point. I was completely like there was no mini connection. I cried when we of the bridge and i'm not a i'm a tough cookie yeah and just want to give me a house. Wasn't that the best and was like away.

From me, you piece of fucking man that can be so fucking in dumb. So you knew I anted because we're not going figure out something that at least and also surprised me and also probably let you know beforehand the surprise and not going to be Taylor, but I got something else for you to make IT as big, like.

as great as I could. His IT was last night. Ny, we'd never got to do this again.

And the fun is, part was when you go to do the climb on the sydney bridge, they have all these celebrities that are up and they play the photos what you're doing, the safety briefing, and they play the photos of all the celebrities. And there's a couple like dealers, celebrities. And I was like, they didn't even ask to take my photo at the end of this.

Do they know why? So how did .

I shit myself on time of this bridge? They don't even have a record of IT for when other people go to climb sydney bridge. They don't know that the number one comedian of all time have made man was on the bridge here. Yeah, against my will. But IT was a great memory.

So have you ever gone? Na seen the area store?

I did. I saw a couple weeks to ago in london. And let me tell you what I was awesome. I i'm a theater nerd. I I want to see the production yeah and I was just fucked and awesome retail .

lor IT is so incredible like I went once and i'm gonna go again and I I just fucking love her.

I love red you and I didn't really I think I kind of miss literally the era of Taylor like for the break up moments growing up. I was just like two years older than that. I so while the girls were crying to, you know um yeah when the girl's retrying all these songs, I was in my dorm room listening to three, six mafia. That was what you I was doing, drive buys on the seta past the atto house. Just been like, luck if you book no, if you want, you know, like that .

and I like IT loves story may be just say, yes yeah .

that was in revengement. That's why reputations, my favorite album. You know, I am a reputation girl.

I'm literally like a folk .

or girl really, but that's great. I need, I have a software side. But I I love that when she's in the first snake skin and the one legs out, oh.

I love IT when are you going on your that's an April.

I'm doing a cruise and again, you know I talked about possibly getting murdered in A T J. Max IT also might happen on the little to that.

I I would have to say I don't know if you're coming back, but you'll have a good time. I will and I might not come .

back as i'll to get a rest in the behaviors. I don't know what's going to happen, but we are doing a cruise and it's like two thousand fans on the raise and its other comedians, and it's just going to be four days .

at sea of us just letting IT rip.

And so will you just like room? Ro, absolutely, with run in my and absolutely.

you gonna just like next to you. You could like saying next you could be like one of your fans and like you can knocked on the wall and they like, oh.

you're just like one with the people I one with the people but also you know when you do comedy too, like I have meet greets after my shows and I I know everybody like know i'm one with the people um I mean you didn't have to you know the cruise is an a super cheap thing to do. So I only that people are making a financial investment or also like maybe a little touch less crazy.

But actually the british ones, you know the ones that are crazy though, they bring you the guests to the show and it's like you think I bet you a broken bag and I put an air tag in IT so I know where you are all times you feel like I don't the bird back from he is a little too cumbersome. M. I, I think it's a bad investment.

I said IT, i'm going to get absolutely burned at the stake to say good is heavy. It's it's just big. It's also like it's clanchy.

It's not like you.

like you and you can't like you can't put IT off your shoulder so you're not look in in a photo. You mean you're like it's like it's it's just squeeze the ARM. It's not a good it's converser.

But yeah, we're you going to cruise. It's going to be insane. 看 night rock。 My mom is going to be there.

My husband's going to be run in poker tournaments and the casina taking pictures of the fail yeah my sisters, a criminal defense tourney. So i'm keeping her on land because I might have to we don't know it's going to happen. She's going to be at the port of miami as people getting off the boat not get up the both. So she's gna get to have new clients.

Will you be posted on your social media about IT?

You're should make a full documentary about IT. Yes, it's fire fast and the turns like super dark. And at the end it's just all of us would like the new virus, just like, and that was a day that the ship never came back. I wouldn't know.

I will never happen. But I honestly.

then I i'd have to like a in memorial at the annes and I have no, I have been nominated yet, but at least i'd be there. At least I that's a full baby.

I am so excited for you. okay. Can we talk about the special now being up? Yeah, I think we've been talking about the special whole time, but I do want to know, like I was talking to hand a burner about this the other my girl I just am so it's so incredible to watch yeah people that truly deserve IT and are actually so fucking funny like get what they deserve and am so happy for you. How did this even come to be?

Well, so I produce my own special. Yeah, and I did the the first one. I did the same thing.

So I I didn't in this business, you cannot wait around for people. I mean, listen to yourself. Started you just if you built that, they will come.

So I just shot IT. I shot at the fox theatre in lana, which just like my home theater. I mean, talk about like a real full circle moment for and and then then you take IT out to market and you sell IT.

So IT is so cool. The thing the one thing I really love about stand up is nobody can tell me now, you know, IT is in this business. You get an TV developed mental deals. They take forever. You know, you got to get a thousand and tories involved, all this ship, but through stand up, I can just pop in to a place, get on stage, say my piece, do the dam thing and as long as their asses and seats I listen, there could be one person, the fucking audience. I'm like, we're going to have a good type but like that is IT is the the greatest of my life other than my family is getting to do stand up and IT just brings me so much joy. It's so incredible.

It's going to be on hole, right? yes. What is the exact data comes up?

That's a great question. I don't know, but we will post station is coming out very soon.

I know it's going .

to be instead.

I was going to the date. I can. I just stop you right now?

I do think you should win a pee body. I should at least get nominated for people gone hi my named heery c man, my accommodate special bread winner is coming out on hello. And when I tell you i'm a bad bitch, i'm wearing a denim outfit that's the dazzled and IT is probably going to be one of the greatest pieces of art and comedy ever seen.

IT should be nominated for awards, or at least give me a mark twin comedy awards. Thank you so much. God blessed.

Live, laugh, love, tune on.

Believe it's very soon i'll thought can put IT. I've never been great with details. Okay.

yeah, i'm so excited for you humble. That was like a we're like we're wrapping up. We're like we need to shot the fuck cup and go film some content.

This has been really fun. Has IT can I tell you I really enjoy you and not only smoke up your eyes, this has been fun. I'm so proud of you. I know we just met, but IT is so fucking and cool to see fucked in bitches doing IT just doing IT period. And you should be so bad to yourself.

Thank you. I feel the same way about you that's so fun to do what we do because I feel like we get to, like, see each other on social media, always unna to be like, what is just gonna like. I am sure you thought that what you're coming here like, yeah, I gonna be like and I I am so happy you're so fucking Normal and like your and your amazing and your tips are .

fuck and amazing. Thank you. I really appreciate IT. And I just want you want to know.

be with you to day that you want .

to be tomorrow. You, thank.