Learning How To Be Alone and Gaining Independence
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What's up you guys welcome back to another episode I am Sam and I'm Taylor so glad to be podcasting with you today because we actually have a lot to catch up on and yeah we don't like have anything new to really say to each other because we just like live together yeah we see everything we're doing in every waking second yeah but Sam went home yeah I was home for six days so I told her yesterday I'm like we're not we're not catching up like I literally got home yesterday and

And I think the first time we really sat down and talked to each other was later in the day. It was like 7 p.m. and I was like, we're not talking till tomorrow. But before we even get into that, today's episode we're going to be doing a little talking about growing on your independence and being comfortable being alone, whether that's just with friends, relationships. We're just going to get into the nitty gritty on that.

So I'm excited. Yeah, especially because we're both in our cuffed era. Yeah. No, no. So people might be listening to us being worried that they're alone and not comfortable being alone. Yeah. People might be watching us being like, oh, I want to be whipped up. Yeah, exactly. Oh, such a crazy time we're living in. Anyways. Yeah, let's get into our weekend. I...

Obviously had a ventful weekend. I don't know about yourself, but starting off strong on Thursday and Friday, I was just excited to get home because this is my first time being home where I was home for a summer in Boston. Like literally when I moved here, did not want to really leave here for the warm weather and like,

Summer is just so fun and we always just have so much going on that I'm like, I don't want to leave. And I didn't really miss Massachusetts enough the last two summers where I was like, oh, I want to go home. But last summer, at the end of the summer, I was like, damn, like seeing people's like post stories and stuff. I'm like, I kind of miss it. But I got a little bit of pieces of it. A few days I was home. The weather was kind of crappy, but my entire family was home. I have family that lives in Georgia as well.

cousins and they happen to be up that weekend too so Thursday and Friday I did really good at like spending quality time with my family because like usually when I go home I'm like friends friends friends like staying with my friends and like trying to make sure I see everyone but I really prioritize family time Thursday and Friday which I'm proud of because I also didn't really want to like drink like crazy so it was good I felt felt great yeah do you want to just like do your whole yeah you want me to I feel bad because I'm going to talk for so long yeah like do your whole trip

And then like I can like throw in points. I didn't do anything that crazy. Like I would just like do your whole trip. Yeah. Well, so I don't I mentioned last week like I really don't want to drink that much this month just because we have so much going on in July and August. This month is almost over.

Yeah, I know. But I've been doing... Okay, so obviously, I feel like there's a huge difference between casually drinking a few times in a week compared to going hard one night. 100%. Or two nights, sorry. I think a glass of wine with dinner every single day of the week is way better. No, but I almost think it's way better than seven drinks in one night. Yeah. No, yeah, because you just feel better. You don't feel hungover. Yeah, you don't feel like shit. So, yes, I did go home and I did drink like...

four out of the five nights and that's whatever but like honestly I felt great felt fine I just when it comes to being here back in Austin what I've been trying to do this past month is just only go out on the weekends once and I've been doing that and I feel great so I

Friday night I didn't really want to go out and I had a bunch of my friends that were going out but I was like you know what I'm having such a good time hanging out with my family right now I have a fire pit in my backyard it's like a massive sofa and like this just makes me so excited for the one day to have a backyard and like be able to have like a grill and like hang out and just vibe and sit by a fire pit like there's nothing that beats that especially like

Obviously, it's really hot right now here. We can't really do that, but it was 75 degrees. Yeah, but all you need to make it better is if you have a pool, it's not too hot. I know, yeah. If you have a pool, you're cool. Yeah. So we were just vibing, hanging out. We were playing that game...

What's the game called? Undercover. Yes. I made my family obsessed with that game. My mom, dad, my aunt, uncle, my cousins, we were all playing it. On the app? Yeah. Okay, guys, it's called Undercover. There's a million other versions of it. You might know it as Chameleon. There's a million different versions that people play, but Undercover is the funnest game, and I used to play it actually with my ex-boyfriend. He's the one that showed me to it. We played with his family, and it got so good.

We were so intense. And then I showed it to my family and we were fucking going ham on vacation and we've tried to get our friends to play and no one gets into it. I'm like, guys, it's a fun game. It's a fun game, but you have to be paying attention. But the thing is, you don't. What everyone say? No, but the thing is, that's a game you can play drunk. No.

No, not pay attention in the sense you have to be thinking, but pay attention in the sense of, like, be involved. Listen. Like, you can't be, like, at the end being like, oh, we're voting what everyone say. Like, you need to, like... Pay attention. You need to be involved for it to be fun. So we were playing that, I think, for probably, like, three hours. We played so much of that game. And then it finally got to the point where, like, I flew in, like...

The night before. Well no actually. I was just like struggling with my sleep. The two days I got there. Because I literally didn't get back. My traveling day was so fucking bad getting there. I didn't get into my bed until like 3 in the morning. On Wednesday night. And then the night after that.

I also didn't really sleep that much. But anyways, I had a good day on Friday. Like, it was 85 degrees. We were on my boat, sat by the patio, played games. Great time. And then Saturday rolls around, and I'm fucking pissed because the weather was so bad. Like, the one weekend I was back in Boston, it was, like, 65 degrees, rainy. And then, obviously, this coming weekend, back in Boston, it's going to be, like, 95. And I'm like, damn it. Like, fucking, of course, the one weekend I'm there. Because I really wanted to go to, like, all the outdoor bars in the city and whatnot. But I didn't get the chance to do that. But...

um saturday morning i went to go play like virtual golf with my brothers there's a driving range and the driving range has like these like cameras and like sensors and shit so that like when you're hitting it's like yeah it's basically like you're on a golf course so that's what we were doing for like a few hours and then i got ready and i headed into the city and we just went into southie and southie's like i don't know how to explain it but it's just like all like post-grad like bars like people our age like but it's not the same vibe of like

West six like it's not because it's just like I don't know how to explain it, but it's fun It's just like all indoor like small ass little bars that everyone was just like Walking down the street like going to and then queen k listening to this right now I texted her that morning because I really wanted to see her and I was like

I'm going to be, like, in the city, like, come through. And I didn't think she would, but she full set and came. And, like, that's what I love about people. Like, anyone that's, like, fully down to just, like, fuck around, like, show up somewhere by themselves. And so there was, like, probably, like, 10, 15 of us at this bar. And Kay just shows up, and she's just hanging out, like, getting along with everyone. And we're taking shots, like, all that. And...

We actually had a friend that was working at that bar and she ended up discounting our tab like crazy. But at the end, we were there for a few hours, but then at the end, fucking K...

One of my friends wanted to buy us shots. And I'm like, oh, I'll do like a green tea or lemon. Lemon drops out. And she goes, I'll do tequila. I'm like, you're fucking nuts. And she just takes like a warm ass tequila shot. I was like, that's disgusting. But then it hit like five o'clock and we were like, you know what? We need to go regroup because one of our friends was having like a birthday party like event renting out half a bar. And I have mixed emotions about like the going out scene in Boston. At least...

here's my take i want to go back you can probably feel the same way with this with miami i know you didn't really like go out a lot but it's like i don't want to like go to the same bars that like i was going to like in college like they don't change it up yeah it's like the same shit i'm like this is just so boring like i got to the mean so me and my friend from hawaii which you guys were freaking going crazy about on my snapchat um me and him were the only ones that like

stuck out like sore thumbs with like our outfits and shit like everyone else is wearing like denim on denim and like just like super casual outfits but we're like going to the bars we're like this is so boring like this is the same shit we used to do like four years ago like they don't change it up at all it's the same people same like conversations and like I couldn't do that I literally I was lasted an hour there if I was back in my like bars that I went out to in college I'd be like bro what no it literally I I

I can't. And every conversation I was having felt like it was a high school reunion of like, how's Texas? Like, how's work? Like, I see you're doing great on social media. How's the podcast? I'm like, and like, I'm like, not looking to have those types of conversations. Like I'm drunk, like, not not it. So I'm like, I look at my friend from Hawaii, who's also having to deal with those same exact conversations. And we're like, let's get out of

out of here. And like also my brother and all his my cousins were also there too. So it was like a mix of like my my hometown friends, my college friends and then like my family. And we rent it was the half a bar was rented out. So there was like everyone like I just knew was there. And I'm like, oh, my God, I feel like I'm only got like a five year reunion right now. So I it's like eleven o'clock and I look at my ex. So my ex guys is like

He's like super into DJing and like the nightlife and like promoter like promoters and shit like he has like the in like in you know the city of Boston like he's so fucking cool. So I like go to him and I'm like I'm like yo like where's like a cool place that I can go right now I need lights I need music I need dancing I need it all.

And I'm like, I'm going to go to this place called the Grand because like I'm familiar with the Grand. I've gone to the Grand a million times. And he's like, no, don't go there. Fuck that place. If you want to go there, like it's just give me a bunch of like college kids. I'm like, OK, well, then where should I go? And he grabs my Uber, cancels the Uber to the fucking Grand and puts in Big Night Live. And Big Night Live is like relatively new. So when I was living back in Boston like three years ago, that wasn't a thing.

So like I'm like getting into this Uber that my fucking ex-boyfriend created for me with my friend. And he's like, we're like, where are we going right now? Like we have no idea. Like we're just two like individuals that have not lived in Massachusetts in almost like two and a half years. And we're like, what is going on? Like, where are we going? We get out of the Uber and it's we're at TD Garden. So the venue is like.

inside of like the bruins and celtics arena right so it's like a club that's attached to the arena so you have to like go into the arena to like get into like the club and i'm like where the fuck am i we get in line and i'm sitting in line i'm like what do we we tap someone on the shoulder in front of us we're like what are we in the line for and someone's like rick ross we're like what we're in line for rick ross right now and then some girl behind me screams my name and i'm like

what? And I look behind and a podcast listener is like two people behind me. And I'm like, dude, like I need your help right now. Cause I'm like, I know I can trust you. Like, you know me, I know I can trust you. I was like, where am I? And what is going on? And she's like, Rick Ross. And like, we were like 10 people away from being like the entrance of like getting in.

And I needed to shuffle through my phone and like order a ticket. I'm like, oh my God, ordering a ticket. Like, fuck, like this is crazy. And the tickets were like 20 bucks. So it was nothing bad. But I bought the tickets. And then we get up to the front of the line. And then my friend didn't have his wallet with him. No ID, no nothing. So we're like hammered trying to get into this venue. And he's like...

sneaking his way and I'm like distracting I'm like yeah here's the tickets like yeah yeah and he's like IDs and I'm like yeah yeah here's my ID like and I'm like shuffling through I have two IDs I have a Massachusetts ID and a Texas ID so I'm like taking fucking forever trying to like figure out how to get my IDs out and then my friend just fucking bolts through the front door and I'm like alright perfect I'm like oh here's my ID and the guy was like alright like your friend I'm like yeah yeah he's good right right and then he's like yeah sure and I'm like oh that would have been really bad because I just bought these tickets and if you couldn't get in I would have been pissed so we get in

And we get a drink. We did not need a drink at this point. Like we were already. No, I just wanted to give people like reference. Like you were like blowing up our friend group group chat. This is at like nine. And Dayton's like, come to Latchkey. And you're like, come to the Grand. As if we're in the same city as you. I don't know. I was like. I don't know, man. I was like, not come to the Grand. You're not here. And I wasn't even at the Grand. Right.

like that was at 9 15 yeah oh no well 10 my time i guess yeah not you know okay that's when i was like thought i was probably going to the grand i'm like yeah come to the grand yeah i'm like we were not in boston and right before that you said something that was just not english oh yeah and then danny said something of like english please i responded english please oh yeah you were like i'm way past that yeah i'm way past that

So, yeah, because I had been drinking since like fucking 2 in the afternoon. Nice. I know. Very nice. And so we get in there and it's pretty empty still. Not really sure when Rick Ross went on, but we got in there like 11, 1130. Yeah.

and we get to the very front i'm like i don't care what's going on right now i need to be front stage because like i'm thinking the post malone night i'm like i want it to be just like the post malone night i need to be front stage i need to be like talking to rick ross in the front and i'm like think to myself i'm like i don't know any like straight rick ross songs like i know songs that he's featured in so i was like i hope it's not one of those like

like events where he's singing his songs because i'm not gonna i would probably know them if i heard them but i couldn't name one yeah so luckily he ends up coming out and there's a massive dj stand so like the dj was playing songs it was like drake songs kanye west songs like a bunch of songs that he's featured in and they were just playing and then anytime it was his part he would just like voice overlay his part like but it was still playing on the music and

If that makes sense. So like it was good, but like I was just way too fucked up to care. Well, yeah, yeah, because it's not like a concert. It's just like he's making an appearance. Yeah, making an appearance. Like he's not like doing a concert. Yeah. So and then there was like a guy that kept handing out waters like in the front. Like so there was like the guard rails and there was a guy just walking back and forth in front of the guard rails just like handing out waters. I'm like, please give me water. And we only had one drink there, but we were there all the way up until like 1.30 in the morning.

and then we ended up leaving, and because we were just so on cloud nine, which I should also mention, like, you know, I was on the shroomies a little bit, so I'm, like, on cloud nine, like, best night of my life. I saw Rick Ross. I saw my hometown friends. Like, I'm with my friend from Hawaii who I never get to see, and we're like, you know what? Like, let's go home. Like, I don't even know what time it is. Like, time to get out of here. We get in the Uber, and we're going over to our friend's house because I'm staying at a friend's house in the city because I live, like,

25, 30 minutes south of the city. So realistically, an Uber... Ubers in Boston are so expensive that to get home, it would have been like $80 to $100. It's ridiculous. So we just Uber back and we realized that...

Our friend is not there. So we're just laying on the ground outside of his apartment door, just bumping Rick Ross music for an hour and a half, just laying there, living our best life, staring at the ceiling. There was a fan above us. We were just like, wow, life is great. We just saw Rick Ross and we're just cracking up about it because it just didn't make sense. Why the fuck was I in Boston, Massachusetts trying to see my hometown friends and seeing Rick Ross? But then he ended up coming home and then

My friends were playing guitar and shit. And I was like, I need to fucking go to bed because I'm not one that can do like after parties. Like I'm going to bed. And that's the only thing that sucks about like staying at someone's house is like you can't just like I mean, I can just like fall asleep, but it's like harder to. Yeah, it's not my house. So I'm like, fuck. Like so I fell asleep on the couch and then I end up rolling into a bed and falling asleep. But.

That was a very crazy, crazy night for me. And I just like love concerts so much. Like I'd rather do a concert than go to a bar. Well, yeah, but like I don't like a concert if I don't know the music. But if I'm like already like, like I really didn't know the music, but like, I don't know. Not like a concert, I guess like a venue like that. Cause it wasn't like a club. That's what you'd rather a club than a bar. Yeah. I don't actually know. That's such a lie. Cause like I only had one drink.

So it was like cheap. Whereas like if I'm at like latchkey, like I'm like, oh, drink on. I have to go get another one. Whereas like I was like I was in the front. So I was like, I can't like physically hammered. Yeah, I know. But I was like, I physically can't like if I were to get up move right now, I'm losing my spot. Same thing with the Post Malone thing. Like, well, yeah, I guess. But like.

That's also, like, I don't want to sit there waiting for a show. Like, I'd have to be hammered for that. Yeah, I was hammered. Yeah, like, you can't, like, sit there and be content with, like, holding a spot against the stage for someone you don't know, like, on a normal day. Yeah, I guess that's facts. Um...

But yeah, then the rest of the two days were pretty chill. I just did like the normal like New England type shit. Like I went to go get some lobster rolls, clam chowder. We did like a nice like seafood bake at my house on Sunday for Father's Day. Those little fucking clam things look like the most disgusting things I've ever seen in my entire life. What? They were like stringy. Yeah. Oh my God, I was not okay. It's like the same like... Have you ever had mussels? No. No.

See, you definitely can't do clams down here. That'd be gross. The texture was not looking like it for me. They were straight. You dip them in butter and they're warm and they're good. Yeah, I guess they were. And you gotta decondom them because there's a little condom. Basically, it's like a condom where you rip the condom off the fucking clam. Yeah, I was not...

I was like, ew. No, steamers are good. And when I was younger, super obviously not legal to be doing this, but I had a house on the Cape and we would always just go clamming ourselves and get steamers. And we would bring literally pounds of them back. So my Cape house, we had a boat with a dock, whatever. We'd take the boat down to the spit and

get off the boat we'd had our all our clamming supplies like a bunch of shit buckets like the rakes all that shit and we would go clamming for like hours it's not legal to take them you have to have a license um which my grandfather has had a license but that's why he like had all the shit for but like i physically like if i was going with just like my cousins like we you can't do that

So then we would go get them. Like for the most part, everyone, we would always get away with it. Like no one was ever really checking. And we would take literally like massive buckets of them and then bring them back to our house and then just like grill them up. And then that would be like our dinner. So fun. I miss like those days though. Low key. It makes me want to get like a house up there, but.

that one that will probably never happen well it looked fun it looked very like yeah it was uh the fucking lobster it was so good i would do you want to try like maybe this weekend or next week like we should go get lobster rolls here i want to see how they are i'm like in my like seafood era i think i ate like my body weight in seafood this this weekend it's good i'm happy for you no it was amazing and i'm not really like one to like

Like someone made the comment on like one of my TikToks. I did like a thing. I was like, oh my God, like this is so expensive. Like how can you afford this? And I'm like, I'm like going to be straight honest with you. Like this is not something I do like every freaking day. I saw that. I saw that comment and I was like, well, she's like a vacation. Yeah. Like I'm like on vacation. It's like a treat yourself type dinner. Like I'm not doing that all the time. And like,

I'm on vacation and I don't really like yes I have access to a kitchen but like I'm not going to go to the grocery store I'd so much rather go visit all my favorite restaurants that like I haven't been to in like years but like back here home I'm eating out maybe once a week and we're not like going to create we're not going to like yeah expensive restaurants like I did spend a hundred dollars on that meal but that's because like I wanted I didn't eat it all but I wanted clam chowder I wanted a lobster roll I wanted oysters like no I saw that comment I'm like well we don't

We're not going... There's expensive restaurants here in Austin. We don't go to them. Yeah. We're not going to, like, those sushi places. Yeah, like, I would so much rather... We don't do that. Like, on a daily basis, I would so much rather go to a food truck than a fancy restaurant.

Like and I was saying this to my mom too because my mom is always like she always wants to go to get like a fan. My mom's super big on fancy lunches and I'm like I don't want to go get a fancy lunch like for lunch specifically. I would rather go pick up sweet greens. I'd rather go pick up tacos from a food truck. Like I don't want to go sit down at a fancy ass restaurant for lunch. Like I just don't need to do that.

Yeah, that's fair. Like I I'm more about like the quality of the food and like the taste of the food than like the atmosphere when it comes to like money. Like, yes, it does like time and place makes sense to go to like a really, really nice place. But personally for me, like if the food smacks.

it could be five dollars and i wouldn't even care well sometimes even like we will get like low-key expensive food like an expensive salad like the restaurant's not nice yeah you know what i mean it's like we're having like a sit down nice like we're still picking it up we just paid a lot of money for it yeah exactly so that was fine um how was your weekend my weekend was good um lots of like

Uh boyfriend time Because Friday We had ourselves a little date And like my love language is like Planning a date like someone like

Making a plan for us to like do something that's like my favorite thing ever So he would say do you want to go to cider kate on friday? And I was like, yeah I would like to do that So like first we met up him and his friends do like friday beers every single friday after work Yeah, they go to like a brewery which is like really cool because i've been going to places i've never been like I went to like a new place that i'd never been to whatever Oh my god, it was so funny. I got two beers. Oh my god. I was drunk two beers. Oh

I swear to God, I was wrong. Were they like high? No. Okay, I think you were just like on cloud nine. No, I was like... But I wasn't the only one. Like some of the people were like, I'm kind of tipsy. Because like people were like... Were they like draft beers or were they cans? Draft. Okay, then yeah, that makes a little bit more sense. They were...

I was like, bro, what? Because some people were like, oh my god, I was going to have another one, but I'm going to be drunk. And then people obviously drove. We're just getting one or two beers. We're going crazy. Some people were like, oh my god. Like, wait. And then I was kind of being quiet. And one of his friends, I said something. I was like, I'm kind of drunk. And he was like, is that why you're just silent in the corner over there? I was like,

I don't know what's going on. I was like, these just kind of like... What is in this liquid? Yeah, like, what are in these... I just came to have, like, two little beers. And now I'm like, woohoo. So, like, that was just funny. Like, I was like, why am I drunk right now? I was like, I'm such a cheap, easy date. Two beers, ready to go. Drunk. That's crazy. I know, so weird.

And then like we went to Cidercade, which was so fun. Literally 10 bucks and you can play all the arcade games you want. It's a lot of like old school games. But I've never been to an arcade where it's like,

already all paid for. They just run around. You don't have to be like, what do you want to do? It doesn't matter. You can do all of them. Let's do everything. You can do literally all of them. Normally it's like, oh, let's do this and you have a certain amount of things. You can pick the ones you want. You can do literally anything you wanted. So I was like, where do I even start? Dude, you know what I would love to do is on a really rainy day go to Dave & Buster's. I love Dave & Buster's. I want to go to Dave & Buster's. There's one literally right down the street. I love arcades. This one had more old school games, so like

I like Dave and Buster's as the newer stuff. Yeah. I just like it a little bit better. Did it have an area for like... Actually, that wouldn't make sense because you pay and whatever. You weren't getting tickets and shit to win things. No. See, that's the fun part. Yeah, but I mean, it was still fun. I liked doing stuff like that. And then we came back and I wanted to get... What did I want to get? Oh, I was like, oh, we'll go to H-E-B and get ice cream.

H&B was closed. What? Well, they closed at 11. Oh. But it was 1040. And I was like, we'll go. Like, we can get in. They, like, didn't let any more people in at 1045. Mm-hmm. So, like, it was still open and the people in could leave. But, like, they didn't let any new people in the store. You gotta keep...

shit ton of ice cream in that freezer i know that's what i do but then so like our kind of thing is just like uber eats and taco bell like and then jonah's like we could just order taco bell and i was like you're so right it's down the street so it comes in like 20 minutes so it's like perfect and then we just order taco bell and i'm like i just love like date like fun like yeah like spontaneously like let's like go somewhere like uber eats food it's fun and then on saturday

We had ourselves like a late wake up kind of like took a while to get the day started. And then we grabbed lunch at H-E-B and I got the best H-E-B sushi ever. I'm an H-E-B sushi like addict. Really? It's the best fucking food. And then we played pickleball and went in the pool. And it was so fun to like get like a workout in kind of. Not like a workout, but like to like just sweat and be active and like move around. It felt so good. So I want to do that more because it was so fun. And then we went in the pool. His apartment has a really nice pool too. Yeah.

it's like huge and then in the pool i was like not supposed to go out i was not supposed to go out i wasn't gonna go out i was set on it but his friends never really go out where we go out ever they just like do more chill things and they were all gonna go to east and he was like all my friends are going to east like i would like they'd never go out if everyone's going to east you gotta go to he was like i'm gonna go they never go so i'm gonna go and i was like god fucking damn it i was like i was literally like

Come on. I was like, I was so dead set. Nothing in me was like, we're going. We were like drinking by the pool a little bit.

like it was chill like we're just gonna vibe and i was like bro i was like oh fine so then like whatever we ended up going but it was fun it was i mean hot as fuck obviously whistlers has the best margarita really the margarita whistlers strong or tasty like which tasty like tasty that's why i mean i also like i mean it also had a good amount of alcohol in it but like

So good. Well, that's good. So good. I think for my favorite mark at the moment is the frozen one from Veracruz. That's my favorite one. The one I was searched is like really yummy. It was so good. That sounds good. It was real good. And then we, of course, ended up at Latchkey and we had to like wait in line and it was so goddamn hot. You had to wait in line? Barely. Barely. Damn. Yeah, guys, that line at Latchkey, like if...

at like 9 30 the line just starts and you could potentially be waiting in line for like 45 minutes yeah and that kills the vibe bro if it's if it was like all of you like like my friends i would have been like yelling at everyone to leave whistlers but like you know yeah i'm not gonna yell at like all of them even though like i'm in the group chat now so there you go now i'm like i told him i'm like i don't think i'm putting you in my group chat but his whole friend group is couples yeah so like

So it's like a couple's group chat. It like kind of makes sense because it's like literally all the girls that are in the friend group are just like girlfriend. Like everyone is in a relationship. So like it just makes sense. But I was like, yeah, I don't think I'm putting you in my group chat. But yeah, definitely. I was like, that'd be weird. I'm like, but I was like, okay, so like now I'm in the group chat. So like maybe one day, but I'm just like not at the point where I'm going to be like, come on, everyone leave. But I knew, bro. Yeah, it's.

The clock was getting more past 9 p.m. And I was like, it's not going to be good. Damn. And then you saw a bunch of our friends there, though. Yeah, I saw our friends there. So then we were like hanging with them and then we kind of dispersed. Then we went to Shangri-La.

I heard that. What is that? Oh, we did nothing in there. Nothing? We just, like, sat down and then left. Damn. I'm so pissed you missed Sneaky Link by, like, ten minutes, probably. Yeah, we... I don't know what time we left, but I didn't see him, though. Yeah. He was, like, I got there at, like, midnight. I didn't see any of them. Yeah. So, I guess this is time. I didn't want to, like, to do my, like, Sneaky Link update anytime soon. I like to wait a little bit far into the episode just so, like, if he does listen, it's, like...

He won't hear it right in the beginning, so... Yeah, well, my boyfriend listens to all of these. Does he actually? Full on? No! I don't know. Taylor! I don't think he listens to all of them, like, make sure he never misses one, but he listens to them. He skims through it. He drives around, like, all day for work. Oh, get out... If you're in here right now listening to this, fucking turn it off, okay? This is girl time. Like...

Now you're pissing me off. You're on my hit list. But anyways, last week I had mentioned to you guys when I was like obviously going to be in Boston, like he was going to be on his vacation the week before and then I was traveling. So like I haven't seen Sneaky Link in like it was probably like I think it was like 11 days or something. 10 days. I don't know. I can't remember. But I like said I was like if I miss him.

And, like, I don't let temptation get to me, then that means, like, I really like him. And, yeah, basically, I did not let temptation get to me. And I did really miss him. And it was... It shows a lot. It does show a lot. It really does show a lot. Like, here's the thing. It's, like, I obviously now, like, I do have, like, feelings for him. But whatever. I hate it. I hate it so much. I was literally sad on, like, TikTok yesterday. I'm like...

he doesn't deserve the title Sneaky Link anymore because he's, like, more than that now. But, like, I don't want to admit to myself by saying it out loud that he's a situation ship, that he's, like, anything more than that because I'm like, ew, emotions, gross, scary. Yeah, but it's so fun. I'm like, oh, my God, no, it's so fun. No, it is so much fun. But, yeah, like, the first, like, when he was on his trip and I was still back in Austin, like, we were, like,

talking like a lot and i was like no like the second i take off flight into boston i'm not talking to him like i don't like i don't like texting all day like like if you're gonna talk to me like facetime me call me um i just like don't really want to do it like it makes the in-person time more like meaningful and valuable because like you actually have like genuine conversations of like how was your trip like all that shit like so he was like talking to me and i'm like

I said to him, like, on the day when I, like, got home, I was like, yeah, like, I'm just gonna spend, like, quality time with family. Like, I'll talk to you, like, maybe, like, later in the week, whatever. And then just stopped talking to him for, like, a really long time. And then Saturday night, guys, if you have me on Snapchat, you probably saw all my Snapchat stories of me out on Saturday night with my guy friend. Like, it looked kind of bad, like, on my stories. Like...

We were like, obviously the only two at the concert together. Like we were hugging, dancing together, like laying on the ground together. Like, but like,

he's just my best friend like we're very we're just very touchy in that aspect but like it's nothing more than that and everyone kept on snapchat being like no like sam like you need to admit it like he's your soulmate he's your soulmate i'm like guys no like it's not like that but i like even said i had to say to all my friends when i was home i was like i hate to admit this out loud but like

I'm seeing someone like, like, and I was like, I can't believe I'm saying this right now. But yeah, I'm seeing someone. I was like, so, yeah. So I didn't let temptation get to me, which I don't really think it would have to be on it. I mean, I don't know. Who knows? I'm kind of crazy. But yeah. So then when I got home,

literally after my fucking eight hours on a plane because we had so many delays and my flight in air was only three and a half hours so i was sitting on that fucking plane for like nearly five hours without being in the air um on tuesday he ended up coming over after work and we were hanging out and he just like looked at me and like said like out loud he was like god i've missed you don't say

it was so cute i literally am just dying about how like just like parallel the situations are like i was literally like uh-oh we're going on a trip if i miss it because i like him and honestly i like it oh and we didn't talk when he was like it was yeah no it's the same i'm just a few months behind yeah which is so weird that i've only been in this relationship for like not even three months because i feel like

I'm like so like comfortable. Yeah. With him. Dude, I've been like hooking up with him for like five months. It's just I'm so comfortable with him that it like it's like weirds me out how like.

I've never been so comfortable with someone so fast. Yeah, same. It's scary as fuck. Like he's literally like... Yeah, it's been five months of like being... Yeah. Like going on dates and stuff. But yeah, mine has no label to it whatsoever. Which I said to him last night. I was like, isn't it crazy? We've been like hanging out like this. Well, not like this, but like we've been hooking up for like five months. And then the last like month or so, like we've like kind of hung out a crazy amount. Like where did this come from?

It's so crazy. But yeah, so it's weird. You just like decide to like trust someone. I know. There's TikToks about that. Like realizing my boyfriend is just some random dude I decided to trust. Yeah. I think about that all the time and I'm always telling him, I'm like, I don't really know you. Yeah. Like I do, but like.

I don't. Who are you? Even with what we said literally this morning. So guys, every year for my birthday, I do a birthday barge and there's like 50 plus people, double-decker boat. You guys know the vibes we talk about all the time. But I was talking to somebody for my birthday boat last year.

some guy he sucks we're not gonna talk about him but my sneaky link at the time that was the very first day I ever met him was on my birthday barge he came with all our other friends and he had a girlfriend at the time and I didn't really know who he was we had maybe like three conversations like that day and

And now this year, my birthday boat, he's like the man I'm talking to. It's just like how much can change in one year? I'm like, I didn't... You were on my boat, but I didn't know you. And now this year, like...

You're like my man. Yeah. I was thinking about that too. Like we have another... I was thinking about it when we're pulling back in from the gym. Like looking at our house. Like this is when our lease would have been up. Yeah. So it's like in a year. If we're like moving out of this house in a year. How much is going to change? What the fuck? Bro. We would be like...

Like, say we were both talking to these boys a year. Like, in a year. Well, I'm... I'm gonna throw up. Okay, well, I'm always, like... I'm so annoying as a girlfriend. Like, I'm actually the fucking worst. I don't really know why anyone dates me because I'm so annoying. But, like, I just love being, like... I'm like, well... Because our leases are up at, like, the same time. Yeah. Because his lease is up. No, same with his. They're at... His lease, like, would have, like, just been up. And ours is, like... At the end of June is, like, when we both have to move. I'm like, isn't it so funny? Like, next year we could, like, move in together. And he's like, what the fuck? And I'm like...

why not but why i'm like give me give me one good reason why no yeah crazy oh my god i know i'm like it would literally be perfect re-sign i'm like i have it all planned out because he lives in a three-bedroom right now i'm like just stay in it everyone else move out i'll move in all three-bedroom

Because I told him, I'm like, if I'm moving in with someone, like, it has to be three bedroom. Yeah. Oh, 1,000%. Because right now, that's basically what I'm used to. Because, like, besides your room, I have, like, my office, my guest room. Like, I need three bedroom. Yeah. And that is just how it's going to work. I need a three bedroom. Four, preferably. But three, I can... Yeah. I can do a three bedroom. But, yeah, I'm literally so annoying. I'm like, do you want to, like, get a dog? Like, he's, like, we've been dating for two months. I'm like, but...

so you hate me like you need this talk this episode today literally but i just love like being annoying i just like i'm like no like i'm the same way though like i like like you like fantasize like things like you're just like oh my god like that's so crazy well because it's like so i feel like all of a sudden they're like someone that you're just like kind of going on dates with and like for me i feel like it literally flipped a switch of like

Now you're like... Yeah. Because here's the thing is like you're dating someone like you should be dating someone for like... A reason. Yeah, like a marriage or like... Why would you look at your boyfriend and be like, I'm just dating you to date you but like I don't want to marry you. Then why are you dating that person? Yeah. I feel like that's like the mindset I thought I was going into dating with. I was like, I feel like I can casually date. No, you can't. No, you can't. You literally can't. You can try to convince yourself that but you can't. Yeah.

Yeah, no. Like, because even, too, I was the same way with Sneaky Link. I was like, I just want to hook up with him. Like, I don't want to go on dates with him. I just want him to be my, like, hookup buddy. Nope, got feelings. Oh, got feelings? Okay, and then we hang out more. Still, we're not, like, dating or anything, but, like, whatever, like...

it's so crazy but like here's the thing with sneaky lang is like we've been like planning so many things like in the next like few months he's like oh in the fall do you want to go on like a trip together like do you want to do like a road trip like all this stuff i'm like oh so like you're you're thinking like long term with me i was like okay but if we if we do any of those things like i need like some type of label going on here yeah trips yeah i was just uh telling jonah that i want to go on a trip because i was like i feel like a trip

indicates a lot yeah like you're living together and if someone's gonna piss me off they will piss me off on a trip yeah i'll kill you yeah like if you're like slow in the airport oh my god oh yeah oh my god no over so like i will cut your head off he was like oh we should try out arizona we should try out chicago you should name a bunch of cities like we should like go see i'm like i'm so down like i'm i'd love to travel but like well if you want to go to chicago we can go on a

double date that's like we're doing that's original oh yeah that'd be sick could yeah like the city's in the chicago i do because like i do have like a bunch of cities that i want to visit by the end of the year um even if it's just like weekend chips i'll probably be going to chicago at some point yeah but but anyways no that was like it's just so crazy like how things have really really changed with him i'm like kind of scared and then we're going shopping on friday because i'm like i need to change your wardrobe like

He said to me, he goes, I've had all these same shirts for the last three years. He hasn't gone shopping in three years. I'm like, we need to change that. Because that guy on TikTok, what's his name? Fly Daddy. Fly Daddy Nick. Fly Daddy Nick, guys. I have the biggest crush. I have such a crush on him. All right. Let's just say it right now. If you want a little bit of a hint as to the vibe of the guy I'm talking to...

Go to Fly Daddy Nick. Fly Daddy Nick. And he is literally the epitome of Fly Daddy Nick. Like, that is, like, my Sneaky Links vibe. Yeah? Like, it's... Fly Daddy Nick. Like, when you walked into, like, the house yesterday, I'm like, you're giving Fly Daddy Nick right now? You're serving Fly Daddy Nick. That's so funny.

Yeah, so, like, we're going thrifting on Friday, and I'm just gonna get, like, all my inspo from Fly Daddy Nick. We're thrifting? That's so fun. I know. I'm so excited. I wanna go thrifting, because I saw this TikTok of this girl that will, like, thrift for you. Yes! Like, you sent me the Pinterest board. The Pinterest board, and you get a budget to go. Oh, my God. She does...

so yeah good and it's like inspiring but she goes like vintage thrifting which is like kind of expensive but not that expensive because the boxes are still like a few items and they're like under three hundred dollars yeah which yeah like five to seven things for three hundred dollars is not yeah i feel like regular thrifting is like clothes can be anywhere from like literally two dollars to like

15 but then if you do yeah yeah but if you do like vintage thrifting it's like 15 to like 60 bucks 100% for an item 100% but it's still yeah no I'm excited to go we're gonna I have like a whole list of a bunch of shops because I did my research I was like

We need to go to very specific places because I know the vibe that I'm going for with like your outfits. Yeah. And like I'm literally going to dress up. I found this couple. I saved their video and I was just like, I'd like to be them. Like the guy dresses very nice. Here's the thing is like you can. She dresses really nice. Look at them. Oh, yeah. Aren't they just so perfect? Yeah, they're cute. I'm looking at Tuva.

T-U-V-A-G-U-L-L-I. Her and her boyfriend really... They really be fitted up. They are. Aren't they? They are so cute. So basically, I'll just make a mood board on Pinterest and share it to him because I just want to be them. Yeah, I mean... But like, this is not how my boyfriend dresses, but...

You know, you always said so much can change in a year. No, so much can also change. We're going to dress like these people. So I have a men's style TikTok mood board and like I'm literally bringing it with me. I'm like, okay, so like I'm super into like the street wear, but then I'm also into like this shit. Like if we're going somewhere nice, like I want you to wear like

Why do I feel like we're not going to go into an episode? Yeah, we are. No, I just love ranting about our boys. Okay, just last thing. What was I going to say? Also, I feel like this girl dresses like a woman. Yeah. And not like a college girl. Yeah. And I feel like that's a really hard transition to make of feeling like... Like, this girl dresses like an adult. Yeah.

This is what an adult wears. And I think she looks... It's kind of like the Sofia Richie. Like, everyone is dressing like Sofia Richie now. And it's kind of like that. But this girl looks so clean and classy and adult. And sometimes when I dress like that, I'm like, oh my god, I look like a teacher. I look like a mom. But, like, this girl looks hot. And she's not dressed like a college whore. One thing, though, I've realized with, like, clothes and fashion is, like...

I love it all. Like, I love all the different styles that I don't really, like, care to have, like, my own, like, style. Like, I, like, want to be able to do it all. Yeah, but I feel like you could... With what she's wearing, she does it all, but in the sense of she's still just looking...

like clean clean and very put together and almost modest is not the word because this is like a two piece like bra set but like just looking a little bit more adult yeah then like college girl this these genuinely look like outfits you could like pick your kids up from school in in a good way yeah she just looks grown and i feel like now i'm officially at the age where i would have graduated college

And now we need to be a woman. Like, this is a full growth. These are adults. Yeah. And I want to be an adult. I have to... I do need to go, like, shopping, shopping for, like, Hawaii. Because I'm going to Hawaii in August. But, like, I also want to get, like, just more clothes that, like, I want to step out of my comfort zone and wearing here in Austin. Like, I feel like the style here is so, like, casual. But, like, I don't care to be casual when we go places. Yeah, but even... Like, if I look fucking...

dressed way more above than everyone else. I don't care. Even this girl is very casual. Like if I saw her wearing these outfits, I wouldn't think they were too much. But if I wore them, I'd be like, I'm so dressed up. Like she's wearing like a long maxi dress. She doesn't look dressy. Yeah. She doesn't look dressy at all. She looks like totally casual. It's just like latchkey. Like,

But if I wore it, I'd be like, oh my god, I'm overdressed. But like a maxi dress, like she looks so casual. Like this is not fancy at all. No, I totally know what you mean. And I just like, I just... Okay, so I just want to be this girl. She doesn't even have... All her videos like do pretty well, but she only has 25k. But I'm obsessed with her and I want to be her.

So that's that, if anyone was wondering. Yeah, we're like going through like a style, not style crisis, but we're going through a style clothing time in our life where like things are going to change. Okay, but also... Not only with us, but with our boys. It's too fucking hot to make good style clothes.

But dresses are so easy. Oh, dresses. Yeah, I wore a dress. With a lot of like crazy accessories. I wore a dress on Friday with like a cute, with cute necklaces. Yeah. And like everyone was wearing a dress and I'm like, I'm literally not even wearing a dress to be like fancy. I'm wearing a dress because this is the coolest piece of clothing. Exactly. Like I can get like a little breeze between the legs. But like I can't, there's not much wiggle room in like outfits. It's so hot. There's not much wiggle room with hair. Yeah. It's like you just got to be cool. Yeah.

I know. So it's hard. It's hard to experiment with style when you genuinely can't wear anything. Yeah, I feel that. And last thing on the note of our men is I need to get him some tattoos.

yeah i also i'm fucking batshit crazy like well i'm not even dating this man i'm like get a tattoo please for the love of god like i want you tatted up literally i just don't know what i'd get anything literally anything i'm the worst influence like if anyone wants to get a tattoo and they want an honest opinion never ask me because i will always say yes same you should be like you can be like can i get this like

picture of an asshole on my arm i'm like yeah get a tat get that tat tat it up baby like i don't care teardrop on your face 100 i've already gone him like super into like gym bro phase like i can tell like he goes to the gym now like when we first started talking he went to the gym maybe like twice a week now he goes five times a week i'm like fuck yeah so if i which is why i like going with him because i feel like

It's also kind of fun. I like working out with someone. It makes it fun. But if I possibly in the near future have another job where my schedule's different, I was like, we could go in the morning. I mean, given the heat right now, I'm like, would you go to the gym with me at 6 in the morning? And I'm like,

I'm like, would you? Like, yeah, it's hot as balls. Like, it's hot. Yeah. Especially going like four or five. It's hot as dick outside. I'm like, would you come with me in the morning? And I'm like, that would be like, let me get you on your grind, bro.

Would you go with me at 6 in the morning? Because I will never do that on my own. I've talked about this on this podcast many a time. If I don't have a reason to be anywhere, you will not catch me doing that. But if my schedule is either going to be early morning or late afternoon and I make a plan with someone, we are going at this time. I will go. So yeah, we'll try. We'll try to do that. I'll try to get him wellness-y.

He came over after the gym yesterday and drank a water boy. So that's. Oh, yeah. I did see him do that. Yeah. He grabbed a water boy and a quest bar. I was like shopping. Yeah. Literally. And he was like, yeah. So funny. I was like, okay. Yeah. Sneaky Link does the same thing with the fucking liquid IV. I was like. Yeah. He literally just like walked in like cup water boy quest bar. I was like.

Okay. I'm like glad our supplement stash is useful to you. Yeah. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You guys know we are big advocates for focusing on your mental health here on this podcast.

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anyways should we get into the episode enough ranting about these boys we just really haven't talked in a while i know like you were busy all day today and then all we did was go to the gym this is our first time talking i know time which is so much to say we do and like we just love talking about boys yeah and honestly before we started recording this i was like oh my god i have no energy to talk yeah i'm like what else do you want to talk about it's so much fun yeah yesterday we asked what we should podcast about and they were like have us on

Yeah. Well, the thing is we could do that. There just can't be any video because there can't be any video. I can't hard launch. And he'd need to be your boyfriend. Yeah. Fuck. Exactly. Exactly. Because like, what is that? I know. Yeah. So you'd have to be your boyfriend.

I know. Okay, now we'll talk about something worth your time and energy. Let's get on into it. All right. So like we said, we want to talk about getting comfortable being alone. And this can literally be in like any aspect, like in your relationship, with friendships, just alone time in general. Yeah. Because I think this is really important. I feel like this is something that like I didn't really start to develop until like the last like two years. I was a very dependent person all the way up until I'm like...

Pretty much all the way up until I went

Kind of abroad. Like when I was abroad, that's when I was starting to realize like I need independence. I was very insecure in college when I didn't have like friends in college. If you're new here, it's a big part of my brand. I didn't have like any friends in college. So I would do everything alone. So in a way, I was forced to be comfortable alone. Dining hall alone. Yeah. Food alone. Walking to class alone. But I was so insecure about it because in my head, I thought everyone that saw me doing these things alone was

knew that like i had no friends like i'm here alone because i'm a loser that's just like what i thought no like i totally saw me like eating or studying alone in like the like food court thing where all the restaurants were like by starbucks i would assume that people saw me like that girl has no friends that's just what i thought yeah that's what i thought people looked even though i saw people alone all the time like getting a starbucks and studying by yourself

It's the most normal college activity of literally all time. But in my head, I'm like, oh my God, everyone can tell I have no friends. If I showed up to the library and a lot of people have groups and I was just sitting by myself, I thought every single person can tell that I was...

awkward and like alone and had no friends I was so in my head yeah so mine's like the same like concept but more in like the opposite direction of like I couldn't get myself to do those things alone like if I wanted to go get lunch at the dining hall I couldn't go alone like I was dependent on someone else being there and if I couldn't find someone to go with I wouldn't go and then I just wouldn't fucking eat yeah I did a little bit of both I had like I had my nights where I didn't go and I just yeah but like I had to like

I had to go to class. Like a podcast was my best friend. I would listen to like 10 podcasts a day. Yeah. So I guess like I want to talk about like how to realize that like you do need your alone time because I in the moment you don't really notice it that you're

Lacking your independence because when especially when I was in a relationship The relationship I was in with my ex-boyfriend was a very dependent relationship like all my friends were also friends with my um ex-boyfriend like Everything I was doing was all like in the same friend group everything like Going to get food like literally everything like I was always by his hip like I never wanted to be alone Like i'd have freak attacks if I was alone. So like it's just important to understand that

when you need that alone time and it can be in relationships it doesn't have to be in relationships it can be with like friends too like if you need to go like i know there are people out there that like literally can't even go to the grocery store by themselves like they need a friend to go with them to the grocery store or like go get their nails done like they can't go to the nail salon to go do anything by themselves yeah and i feel like that's something that you need to like reflect on if you can't be doing like those like

Solo activities on your own that like this episode is a thousand percent for you Yeah, and I had to get comfortable with it. I wasn't comfortable with it outside of college Because like I said in college I had like no choice But when I did have a choice I 100% would rather someone be there like getting food and eating it in a restaurant alone was so not something i'd ever do and now

I am way more comfortable doing things on my own and it's because I think I just had to rip off the band-aid in college and just do it because there was a time where I was like I can't just mope around and do absolutely nothing in my room like I need to eat I need to study in the library yeah I need to do things so it was like forcing myself to do it and kind of like like a fake it till you make it like yeah would I have rather like gone to Starbucks with people a million percent but just like

owning it looking like you're just so busy and you just have so much to do that you're just like grinding you're working you're just so busy you have so much going on you know you just need to like grab something quick and study a little bit before your next meeting with all your friends just kind of like owning it yeah i feel like i looked put together and like i had so much going on but i didn't yeah now

For me, like, because I was in a relationship that was really dependent, when we, like, tragically broke up, like, it was a horrible breakup, like, cheating, like, narcissist shit, like, bad. But when we broke up, I didn't know how to act. Like, I didn't know how to, like, go do things alone. I was, like, always relying on, like, needing a friend to hang out with me during the day, like, going to the beach, going on my boat, like, everything. Like, I was like, I need someone just to be there. Just even if you're just, like,

Taking up space like we don't really talk like I just need someone to take up space and that's when I started to realize like holy fuck this is like a problem like I don't have friends like I was like I don't have friends anymore like what the fuck is going on and for anyone that's in a relationship feeling like they're very dependent on their like significant other.

I hate to say it, but like it, that's not a healthy relationship at all. And it, I didn't realize it at the time, but when I look back and reflect on my relationship with my ex boyfriend, it's like, that wasn't a relationship. That was like, I don't know the proper word for it, but like, I just felt like it was like,

a fucking nanny like yeah there was like feelings and shit but like like I just like always needed to be with him and that's like a problem and once I we did break up like the same thing like what Taylor was just saying was like get it like being uncomfortable to get comfortable because now I am in a place where I love my alone time like I can go out all day and do a shit ton of errands like listening to podcasts go get my nails done like I can spend the entire day alone and like take up

space by myself and have no problem doing it like i can go to a restaurant sit down eat food go to sweet greens get a bowl like do anything by myself but in that relationship or past that breakup i could not do that yeah um i think it's important also to be able to do things by yourself because you don't want to miss out on things just because of other people's schedules or like their timelines like i did not think that i could do things certain things in college alone like i

Go to a workout class. Like, try out for a club. Like, do any sort of...

thing to like meet people kind of thing by myself, like joining something by myself, like just like the biggest examples, like how I started going to dance here, like before I would have never done that by myself. Yeah. Ever like that. That was that was too much because that was like social interaction on my own. Yeah. Whereas like going to eat or going to study by myself was fine. I could put my headphones in and like.

just be in my own world but like you're telling me i have to go to this place and like interact with people without a friend fucking terrifying that's not something i would do and so like little things like that of like stepping out of your comfort zone to do things that yourself by yourself that you want to do because it's like no one else here i know would go to a dance class with me i i

I literally have to go by myself. I either go by myself or I'm not going. That's kind of just how it is. And in high school, I would only go to dance classes with my friends. We would go to some like after school, like obviously not the ones from our high school dance team, like other ones that we could just go to like late at night.

and i'd only go with them i wouldn't go with myself and yeah like i wouldn't have been confident enough to go in high school by myself i feel like i needed to go with my friends and if they canceled i'm not going why like why do i not have to go just because they canceled yeah i feel like the biggest thing with self-growth with absolutely anything is like being uncomfortable to get comfortable because if you feel comfortable with whatever you're doing whether it's like

going alone to do something, trying a new hobby. Like you're not growing as an individual and like learning more about yourself if you're not getting uncomfortable. And so that's why I think it's like very common with a lot of the things we talk about, whether it's like tracking your food, going to the gym, like alone time, like you need to be uncomfortable in order to get comfortable with the things that you're doing. And it's just like taking the fucking bandaid off and just going and being alone. Like there's no other right answer for it than just

doing it and I wish we could give you some like step-by-step guide but there really isn't and you did make a good point of like putting headphones in like there's like something like that like headphones great like if you're gonna go I do this all the time when I go to the nail salon because I just like

When I'm on my alone time, like, I don't really like having small talk with strangers, like, at the nail salon. Like, I just don't like it. Like, I'm alone for a reason. Like, I just need to be in my own thoughts, have my own, like, me time. So, I personally do, like, the headphones with the podcast and the music. Personally, just because I don't really want to talk to anyone because I need my own personal time. But, like,

if you need it because you're afraid to go and be alone like that's gonna help distract you you got a podcast listening to you got your music going like you're gonna get into your own world you're not even gonna notice that you're really by yourself like it's fine but I think definitely even too with alone time like starting off small is important like if you literally can't even get to the grocery store by yourself like

That's the first place to start. I feel like if you can't even do that, start at the grocery store, going alone, work your way and go into your nails done. Go watch a movie by yourself. Movies are a good place to do something by yourself. Take yourself on a little date. Go get yourself a nice soda. Get some popcorn. Go take yourself to the movies. You're in a little dark room. No one's going to really notice you're by yourself. Once you start to get comfortable doing those little things, then...

it's endless like yeah you can do anything by yourself like i could literally go like on a vacation by myself i could book like a round i actually really want to do that and i've seen a lot of people doing that and it sounds very fun i mean it the it makes me a little bit anxious safety wise just being a girl yeah that stresses me out because obviously obviously i wouldn't be going out to like bars but like

I do want to do that. I've seen a lot of people do that. And I'm like, that seems like a hotel room just vibe. But another thing I was going to say, I think a fear of being alone with a lot of people comes from feeling like they might not know what to do with certain things and feeling you might like need help. For example, like going to like the doctors by yourself. Like I moved here and it's like I used to always go to the doctors like with a parent. Yeah. Like,

I don't know. Yeah. With my mom, with my dad. My mom would book my doctor's appointment. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that wasn't my responsibility. Like, I was just a teenager. Like, that's not my job. So, like, then being alone, it's like, okay, I'm going to book this appointment and go by myself. And, like, I think some people have the anxiety of, like, what if I don't, like, have all this stuff with me? Like, filling out this stuff. Like, just kind of, like, feeling like, oh, my God, like, what if I don't know what to do? Like, what if I don't know how to find the office? Like, you show up to an office building and you don't know, like,

What room it is. Like, are you going to be walking around looking like an idiot? Just kind of like the fear of not knowing what to do for certain things. Like, or let's say you have to go to like the DMV, like something where like there's going to be like instructions giving out. You have to like follow directions. You need to like find a place you've never been. I think people just like need help and they just feel like they need help with everything. Even if they're going somewhere or just at home.

Just feeling like you need someone always there. And that independence, like, we're both so big on, like, figuring things out. On yourself. Yourself. And just getting things done. And something I've gotten really comfortable with recently is asking for help at places. Like, alone. I was literally just about to say that. Yeah. Like, I used to never ask people for things in a store or, like, a restaurant. Or to... Absolutely not. Like...

Like something so small. Like I'm talking about the littlest things would like freak me out. I was so shy. Like, oh, like, do I give this paper back to you when I'm done or do I bring it over there? Like I would have been like, like trying to watch where someone else put it. Like just so like, just because I didn't want to like talk to people. Like I was so like, I can't do this by myself. Like I need like, where did she put the paper? Like I could just be like.

But now I can just like speak and like do things on my own and function as an adult and like speak for myself and like advocate for myself and talk. And it sounds so dumb, but I literally used to not be able to fucking speak to people. No, yeah. Like I have to go with like...

Like one of my parents So they can literally Talk to someone for me Because I couldn't do it Like the other day We went to H Mart Which is like The Asian market And like A lot of the workers there Like don't really speak English And we were like Looking for things If I were If myself like Four years ago Would have gone there I wouldn't have asked One of the workers No For help to find Something in the store But like

I did. Like, I went up to a worker. They didn't speak English, but I did show them my phone of the item that I needed, and they guided me to it. Yeah. Where it's like, simple little things like that can be such a big fear. Yeah. But it's like, why? It's so silly because, first of all, those workers are there for a reason. They're there to help you. They want to help you. Yeah, they're bored as shit. They haven't done anything all day. They want human energy. I personally, like,

I know there are some cranky, grumpy fucking workers out there. So don't get me wrong. Like there definitely are. But like for the most part, a lot of the times like workers probably just want that, that human interaction. They'll help you. Um, they're like Taylor said, they're bored. So every time I've worked a job, I've,

been literally bored waiting for like a task yeah like oh my god you need help amazing i would love to spend 30 minutes helping you i have nothing to fucking do yeah like as long as you like you're polite with it and like right like as say like saying thank you whatever like 100 because like i used to work at like a pizza shop too people ask would ask the dumbest questions like of like like what's that i'm like pickles onions don't fuck don't fuck

Well, like, you know what I mean? Like, just like as long as you're polite with it, like if you're not coming in there, like, like being rude, like being a Karen, then like then we won't have an issue. But I feel like for me, it's like I would like to be with someone because they can do all of that. They can do the talking. I used to not order my food at restaurants, people.

Yeah. I used to literally not order my food at restaurants. When I started doing this, my family was like, you're telling me the little girl that couldn't order for herself at a restaurant is talking on the internet? I'm like, I know, crazy. It's wild. But that's why I like to go to a restaurant with someone else because...

they can do that. Like they can order, they can ask for like extra ketchup. I'm sure as hell won't be me. Yeah. Like I won't do it. Like I will walk into a restaurant and fucking leave. Oh, perfect fucking example. Um, I went to a gym.

At my college, I went to FIU for a semester and I went to the gym there. This was in my early gym girl era. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I had an Instagram though. Maybe you followed me on it back then. OG days. Yeah. And I was like, I'm going to go to the gym. I walked in. It was like three floors. I literally walked in to the locker room. I had no idea. Like it was so overwhelming. I literally walked out and I cried. Yeah.

Do you know what I would have done now? Like, I've walked into so many gyms where I don't know where things are now. Like, we go to new gyms all the time. Yeah. Oh, my God. I didn't ask anyone for help. I didn't look around. I didn't even try. I literally just left because I was alone. I needed to be with someone. I was like, I needed to be with someone in that moment to figure that out with me to help me so I didn't look lost and alone. Why? Like, why?

Why didn't you just... One, just look around. Go for a little walk. There's three floors. Look around. See what they have. Ask someone. Yeah. Literally anything. I just left because I couldn't be there by myself. Oh, the amount of time... Not necessarily the gym, but just like in general, the amount of places that I've done that is like insane. And it's... It's honestly crazy. And it only took one or two times of going places and not doing that. Yeah. And just actually seeing through with what you said you were going to do. Yeah. And like...

So I know we've talked... Like, we've addressed, like, the independence on, like, a lot of things. Like, independence when it comes to, like, the important adulthood things. Independence within friendships. Independence within just, like, everyday activities. But there's also, like, the independence within, like, relationships as well. And...

I feel like it's just, like, really important to have overall independence because, first of all, there is nothing, like, more sexy in a woman than, like, her having her independence. In my opinion. Like, when I see another girl and I'm like... Independence and confidence, I feel like, are very much tied together. And, like...

I feel like coming out of this episode, like what I really want, like you guys listening to like gain really, it's just like wherever you're lacking that independence to gain that independence. So whether you want to reflect right now, listening to this episode on your relationship, your friendships, the adult things, like any parts of that challenge yourself like this week to like do one of those things that like could potentially help you gain that independence within that area. Um,

Do you want to talk about like independence and relationships real quick and then we can go into the independence for like things, whatever? Yeah, I think for me, when I look back into my most toxic points in relationships, I feel like for me now, there's no set time of like how much time is too much time to hang out, how much time is too much time to speak. Like there's no set parameters on that because everyone's like...

relationship is different yeah point like you live together and then it's like once you're married it's like way less independence now you're a unit now you're family and like that's different that's your life yeah that's your life so like it's definitely different there's no like set things are right and wrong but i just look back into like the most toxic points it almost feeling like i was being like shamed for doing something that he wasn't the priority of like i

Oh, you're not going to like I'm thinking back to high school because this was like my most toxic like meeting up like in between classes, like feeling like, oh, my God, like I have to like see you in between classes.

we have like four minutes to get to class. I'm in an opposite building as you. You want me to like maybe be late? Like, no. Like, and then that was almost like, like wrong of me to not be like taking the four minutes out of my day to like meet up with you in the hallway. Like I need to get to class on time because my grades and my schoolwork is important to me. Yeah. I need to be late to class. I need to get to class on time.

I need to, I don't know, four minutes of silence. I just like it's my one break or like however many like five little breaks in the day. I don't need to see you all the time, especially if it's not convenient. Yeah. Like there was times it's like our classes are right next door. We can walk together.

yeah but like if you're coming from like building b and like i'm in building c what the fuck do i need to walk with you you're not even anywhere close to me and then it's like him almost making him seem like he puts so much effort in the relationship because like he'll be late to class for me i never asked you to be late to class go to class like you don't have to walk me i don't need someone to walk me i'm fine like like that's just like the like number one example that comes to my head of just like

oh my god like way too much of expecting you to give up like literal things that's important like if someone's like i mean i'll joke with my boyfriend all the time i'm just like just take the day off like but like obviously i'm kidding like you can't just like take yeah that's what i was gonna say though yeah my biggest one is like now that we're like adults because i can't really talk about this in like the sense of my old relationship because we're adults but like now with independence for me like my biggest thing in any relationship i'm gonna get into is like

I want to have my own like work drive, my own like goals, my own ambitions. Like,

I don't want those goals, ambitions to get taken away. By someone else. Exactly. Like, you should have, like, things that you really want to work on, things you drive for, things you want to do, and, like, not let somebody else kind of, like, overpower that. Right. And make you feel bad because you have goals and things that you want to do in your own interests. Right. A hundred percent. And just, like, making sure that you're not taking, like... Because, um...

I was talking, I think I was talking about more the root of, like, literal physical time. And then that's kind of, like, all over, like, the general, like, idea. Yeah. So, like, in terms of, like, physical time, like, it's just also literally, like, someone shouldn't expect you all the time to, like, give up things that are important to you to, like, see them. Like, if someone told me, just, like, an example, like, what you were talking about, like, oh, like, but, like, you, like, we both work so much, like, wouldn't it be better if you just, like,

like quit teaching dance like then we can like hang out on Tuesdays yeah no like what the fuck like little like things like of that nature yeah like just anything like that like oh but like why do you have to do X Y and Z like we can do so like we can hang out and then that's the only benefit it's not like

Any other benefit other than like so we can hang out? Yeah, I feel like the last like five years that i've been single I have worked so much on my independence in myself that like now when I go into a relationship That concept is huge for me Like I want someone to be coming into my life joining my life Not taking away things from my life like everything that like i'm doing in my life I want to be able to continue to do um

And I want to be able to have somebody that like cheers me on, helps me if I need it. Like if I'm like, oh, like I would love your help with this like one day, like whatever, like or like what's your take on this? Like what's your input? Like whatever, like just like little things to like help.

Like make everything in my life a positive response, not like a negative. I think that is freaking huge. Yeah, like they shouldn't be like a chore. Yeah. Like it shouldn't be like something that you need to like actively be thinking about how to deal with. And I feel like in my toxic relationships, it was so like...

dependent on each other because it was actively like making sure everything's okay and like keeping the peace like because if not like it was an issue like I wasn't like doing enough like maybe like I'm not doing enough as a girlfriend when it's like being a girlfriend isn't your only role in this life like

I have a million other responsibilities to do and like just being your girlfriend is not always top of my list exactly like sorry like you're not always the number one priority to me I know like work drive all that stuff is definitely important within relationship with independence but also like the independence of like having your own like social life is very important because like the second I started to realize in my past relationships that like a lot of my friends were also my boyfriend's friends and like

I didn't really have a social life where like I was always in social environments and he was there or like maybe I felt wrong going and hanging out with people if he wasn't there. Like you should be able to any girl like you all should be able to have like girls night and it not be a problem or like you should be able to like go like I don't know what's an example but just like

The social aspect to independence is very important. I think something to note is, like, if you... Like, picture in your head you and your boyfriend break up. Do you have... Friends. Friends. Yeah. Very important. Because, like...

I know in my past relationship, like, a lot of my friends were, like, his friends and their girlfriends. Like, that were all our friends in high school, but, like, that's still just, like, kind of how it was. And I didn't have a lot of friends or, like, people around me. So it's just, like, something to note. Like, if you broke up, do you have your friends? Yeah, exactly. Because you don't want to just be, like, stuck, like...

Where, oh shit, like they're all his friends first. Like they're going to keep... I mean like, yeah, like if they're his friends first, then you're done. Yeah. No, literally. So social aspect...

all that aspect i feel like that's pretty much like yeah i feel like where i kind of come from with like that stuff yeah i feel like this is the first time i've been in a relationship where i can like really really fully do whatever i want with zero problem almost like too little that i'm like are you fucking okay like the other weekend i like did my boyfriend wasn't here i didn't even tell him that i was going out we go to the same place every single saturday but we hadn't been texting all day like because he was busy like

And like to him, that's just like normal. And then when he came back, I was like, that didn't bother you. He was like, well, I mean like you go to the same place. I know what you're doing. He's like, I could have figured that that's where you were. Like, I don't care. And I was like,

You're like, but what if I actually change my plans? I was like, yeah, yeah. You don't know me. What if I was doing something cool? What if I was on West? Yeah. He would have been like, still don't care. It like was so weird to me. I was like, that's so weird. I was like, okay, well for reference, I was like, I've next time, like I felt really weird about it. So I will tell you. And if you were out, like, I'd like you to tell me, but like, why are you so weird that you like, don't give a shit about what I'm doing. I was like, you like jet, like, it's so weird to me. And I've never had a relationship. So like,

i just don't care who you like are with like like fine yeah okay and i think that's a huge a huge thing with that is also because like i feel the same like like obviously i'm not fucking dating this man but like just like in any like if i if i had a boyfriend physically at this time like i'm not saying sneaky link in like at all i'm just saying in general if i had a boyfriend at this time in my life it's because like

my life is so different and I didn't grow up with that person. You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like when you grow up with someone and you date someone like through like the stages of like college into like post grad and you're developing like a new life for yourself, like it's hard. It's so much harder to make friends and have a different social life outside of that person because like that was your past social life. And now like you're both trying to find friends, you know what I'm saying? So it's like,

It definitely can be hard with relationships that are going...

from college into like post-grad or like from high school to college like it's it can be hard but yeah i think there's more insecurity because it's like oh my god like now you're open to like all this stuff and there's so much new people exactly so much that and then now if you're in a relationship where you've already been an adult it's like okay you've already like yeah you you've been here you've like known the scene like exactly done your thing and now you're just like

in your mid-20s ready to, like, be an adult. I know. It's definitely different, but I feel like you don't know, like, healthy until you're in it. Because it's, like, for me, I feel like I was super... And, like, I'm not saying I think my last relationship was, like, insanely toxic. I just think there's, like, things...

Like things that were just like not good. A lot of it chalked up to just being young. Yeah. But like when you're comparing, it's like my relationship before that was a fucking dumpster fire. So it's like comparatively like,

It wasn't that. It was this relationship of all time. Exactly. Like, and then it's like, and then, so it's like once you have more, so you have to like go through, like it's not like a waste of time or you're not like dumb if you're like in something that's bad. It's just like learning experiences. Like it's just, it's fun to be able to go and like,

Yeah, like communicate. Let them know what you're doing. But you don't have to be like, oh, and who are you with? And what are you doing now? And what time are you going to be back? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, I'll tell you like, oh, I'm going paddle boarding with my friends and we can hang out later and then I'll tell you about it. And we'll have something to talk about. And I'll let you know what happened. There's nothing worse than being like, I've never been that friend, but like being that friend that all of a sudden just disappears from the friend group because you're cuffed up. And you just don't want to be like that. Yeah.

I don't know. I've never been that friend, so, like, I can't speak as being that friend. But, like, from an outside perspective and having friends from high school and college that have been like that and just, like, completely ghost, like, that's sad. Mm-hmm. So, like, independence within relationships is major. You just have to know that if you broke up, you would have a life. Do you, like...

only hang out with him and his friends do you only go to the gym with him and do you only do his hobbies you like yeah you only do everything with him you're always like like i don't even know like at his place he always cooks for you like yeah like like you if you broke up would your life be drastically different different when you're just like dating yeah like

It's just you should be able to do your own shit. Yeah, and if you're someone who also isn't dating someone, but you're talking to someone and that's a worry of yours, there are so many ways in a relationship to train the relationship before you get into it. Do you have that independence? Take advantage of the fact that you're in the talking stage and you're not in a relationship and work on creating those boundaries for yourself.

with your independence like test the waters like oh like he has plant he wants to like do something on friday night let him know oh like maybe you can't like friday like you might have like something with your girlfriends or something and then like even if you don't like create plans like create plans like hurry up create plans like make those plans but like just like don't always be

Available. Available. That's the word I was looking for. Yeah. And like for me, like a big thing was not texting all the time. Yeah. That was a big want out of my next relationship because in my last relationship, that's what we did. We texted a lot. But the thing is, that's how we started. We started texting all the time. Yeah. That's how it started. So that it's hard a year and a half in to be like, I want us to text less. Like now it's too late. Like now we have our like normal relationship.

And it's hard. Like, that's just our normal. It's just how we are. Like, it's weird to switch it. But then if you get into a new relationship, it's like we never texted all the time. Like, and that's just like half how he is and half just like me. Like, I was going to be texting like the morning, like every single morning. Like, because that's just something I knew. Like, I don't want to be texting you all the time. So like, you need to establish like the normal right off the bat. Because like, okay, here's my thing is like,

Even with the good morning thing, so what's your opinion on that? You said you don't really like it. I don't like it either. I mean, I like it if there's a purpose. Yeah, but every day? Yeah, if a few times a week you're like,

Good morning. Have a good day. Yeah. But, like, don't expect me to be texting you because now you're texting me. Don't expect me to be texting you the whole day now. Especially to be like, good morning. What are you doing today? What do you think I'm doing today? Going to the gym and working. Yeah. Like, I'm doing the same thing I did every other fucking day. Yeah. Like, if there's, like, pure meaning behind it and, like, not an expectation of, like, okay, now we need to talk all day. Like, I agree because especially, like, once...

you get into that place of like living with that person like then the in the i feel like for me at least like the in-person like saying good morning and like that's more meaningful than like a fucking text like good morning like i don't know yeah and when you break up with someone i feel like the big thing is like oh my god who do i like talk to all day yeah like you miss that like texting someone it's like a fucking dopamine it's like all the time shit

I'm talking to someone all day. And I just realized, like, I don't need to text someone, like, going to the grocery store. Why the fuck do you need to know I'm going to the grocery store? No. Like, you just don't need to know I'm going to the grocery store. No. It's unnecessary. It's like, it's like you're getting so used to having to, like, check in with someone. Yeah. Like, it's literally like you said, like, at Nanny. Like, I feel like I'm texting my mom. No, literally. Like, my mom when I'm 15 being like, mom is, like...

I'm going to the grocery store. Is that okay with you? Yeah, even though you're not being like, is it okay? That's kind of weird. It's literally what it is. Mom, can I take the car? I'm going to the grocery store. Is that okay? I'll be back by four. I promise. Can I go to the mall? It's just you don't need the...

the like validation that you're doing okay yeah so like fully take advantage of the fact if you're in the talking stage but then if you are like in a relationship like honestly like my advice for it is like reflect on where the lack of independence is if it's like full on and like taylor said like you have like if you guys were to break up tomorrow and you had like no life no like like you'd be afraid to just be functioning day to day on your own like

Like, I don't even know what to, like, say. Because it's, like, so fucking sad. It is. But it's, like, true. Like, it is really sad. Like, it's gonna happen. Like, you're gonna have to get through it. I'm picturing someone living with their boyfriend. Let's say the apartment's the boyfriend's. Yeah. Right? You moved into the boyfriend's apartment. It's his lease. I'm picturing, like...

You kind of like don't really have many hobbies many friends I do is working out with him like yeah all the house things together like you don't do anything else What if you break up you literally don't even have your own apartment like you don't have friends Yeah, and it's like fucking harsh Yeah, that's and I know a lot I know a lot of you guys listening right now are probably feeling really attacked by this because like it is a good thing but yes, yes, I hope this is a wake-up call for you because like

It's just so important because you never fucking know. Things could change a week from now for you. Shit changes quickly. So just make sure you're on top of it and don't let the high of someone else's life get in the way of your own and continue to have that independence. Because like I said, confidence...

and independence i feel like they go in hand in hand and it's sexy as fuck when a girl has yeah because she's being secure in yourself like you need to build a life for yourself you need to feel like your life is a hundred percent like stable on its own before adding someone relying on someone else like relying on someone else like in any sense yeah like just being able to function as a and i'm i'm going to say this like i'm i'm that bitch that's like

break up with him like i hate to i hate to be that person but like if there is like any like flaw like that where you just feel like you lost yourself in your relationship i'm not gonna say like the little like soft speech of like oh like try to work it out like things could potentially change but like realistically like in my opinion like it's hard to change relationship that's like that i think what i've learned in like just like

over the years is I think things deserve two conversations. One, like bringing up something, like voicing your opinion. And then I think maybe one other one so that they know you're actually like dead ass serious. Like I feel like maybe it's like they don't think you're as serious as you were. So you need like that other one to be like, no, I was actually like fucking for real.

And then if it's, like, still not there after two, like, solid ass, like, talks, it's not going to be different. And I had a teacher in high school that told me that because I was dealing with my shitty boyfriend. And he was just like, people don't change. He was like, they can change, like, habits or something. You know, you, like, used to do this when you were, like, younger and now you don't anymore. But then he just gave an example of this one kid that, like, has a big personality. He was like, but...

So-and-so, like, he's always going to be, like, class clown. That's just his personality. Big, outgoing, funny, like, blah, blah, blah. Like, he's, like, that... He was, like, he will always be like that. So if someone was dating him, like, and, like, didn't like that, you can't change him. That's just his personality. Like, you physically can't change it. It's, like... And he's, like, and people don't change like that. Like, you're... It's not going to happen. And I was, like, yeah, like...

you're right because it's like i've changed a lot over the years but at the core like at my core who i am as a person is the same exactly and like you can't you can't you can only change something so much in a person and it's it's the hard reality of like any relationship is like yeah it is what it is like you think your person at the time is your person but they might not be yeah and like i mean the earlier the better exactly you're not married you don't have kids

Stop. Because then we're going to have the girls listening to this right now that are like... Married nephews. Yeah. Well, no. Well, that's fine too. And that's even almost better. But I can't give advice on that. Yeah, no. There's so many people that like really have like...

like really thrive and yeah they're amazing situations after they like are older and get their shit together but like most of you don't most of you don't and if you are married and have kids like you're probably fine and you probably know each other very well but like yeah i'm just saying like even like now like newly dating people it's just like being like that reality check of like make sure that you're like happy and thriving exactly i'm

And so I'm going to just like kind of end this off by like obviously saying again, I know I said this already, but like literally challenge yourself this week with everything. Like wherever you're lacking, go out there, do it. And I would love to like,

You guys come into our DMs. Let us know if like you actually did like follow through with this episode. You took it with heart and you challenged yourself this week and you did something on your own that you're not used to doing on your own. I'll do the same. Honestly, I don't know what I'll do alone because I can do absolutely everything alone. But I don't know. I'll find something to do alone that I've never done alone. Yeah. I don't know what I've never done alone. Never. It's like a big. I don't know what I've never done alone. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. But... Yeah. I'm gonna go out this weekend by myself. No, I'm kidding. I can't, but I can't. Yeah, but I was... No, but okay, I've heard really good things of girls going to like... Like, dating-wise, like, if you're trying to find someone...

Like I saw this girl, she's doing this thing on TikTok and it's like, go to the bars during happy hour by yourself. Sit at the bar by yourself and see the amount of guys that will come up to you. Okay. Maybe like happy hour. Yeah. Like I'm not saying like going, I'm not going to West by myself. Yeah. Just be careful. But maybe like I should go get like a happy hour drink by myself at the bar. I would say like sit at a bar at a restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I'll do that. I don't have the time to do that this week. Maybe we could sit at a bar at a restaurant.

at two restaurants that are next door. Yes. And I'll talk to you like, how's it going over there? What am I saying? We want guys to come up to us. Yeah, wait a second. Wait, we're both cuffed up. We can't do that. Rats. I'm not cuffed up actually. Don't fucking take that legitimately. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'll go like,

read a book at a park yeah it's hot as dick outside all right well all right we'll figure it out i don't know well i gotta get out of here though guys i got my last lift in brow elimination appointment so i like this ramble i know this was a good episode and i hope like yeah we y'all really fucking long time take this one anyways anyways bye guys