The Hottest & Baldest Episode Ever w/ Sean Evans | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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Welcome to another episode of Two Bears, One Cave. Sad, sad news about my regular co-host. He had an arm amputated. And so while he's recovering, we have the king of ringstings sitting in for him. It's the great Sean Evans, everybody! Hey! Thanks so much for having me. Thank you, I hope...

Bert gets a cool prosthetic. I do. I'd like to see something, something titanium. Yeah. It's going to add a whole new dynamic to his live show. Thanks for being here. You're in town because South by Southwest is, and you're going to, but you're going to, are you going to speak?

Yeah, they have a... It's a totally full schedule. It's been a really busy year, but yeah, just an itinerary that's packed for the next couple days where... God, that sounds awful. They'll shove me into a room, take a bunch of pictures, do this interview, sit on this panel, do a bunch of stuff. You know, I'm leaning into this year, so... You know, I was at the Oscars last weekend. We did Sundance the weekend before that. The whole calendar has filled up, and I'm just kind of leaning into it right now. Every time I arrive somewhere and...

And they go, this is your calendar. My objective is I go, how can we reduce this? That's what I lead with. How can we do less instead of what you've proposed? I think that's something that comes with growth. You know, right now, this is my first time kind of going through all of this. Oh, okay. This is the fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm clinko-balling through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. And then I'll review it afterwards and figure out what we need to do. And you'll go, never do this to me again. That'll be the subject line. Never again. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. I'm learning all those things. Well, you've been, I mean, everybody who knows from watching anything on YouTube, everybody knows Hot Ones and the trajectory of this thing is incredible. You're like the, that's the prototype. That's the dream for people is they go, I have an idea. I'd like to do this, you know, this bit kind of online and maybe it'll turn into something. And then the A++ example is Hot Ones.

That's got to feel pretty amazing. Yeah, it does. I never take for granted this unique magic carpet ride that I've been on. And I'll also say that a lot of it came by accident. You know, like we had this idea, but I don't think we realized the degree to which, you know, hot sauce is a disruptive element. All the hours spent, like really committing to the interview, the way that it would kind of make sense.

this what's it like to have a beer with this person show that people have been trying to invent for a really long time. Everybody's doing knockoffs of it. Right? Yeah, I think people... And sometimes I kind of miss even just this. This is fine. You don't have to add some sort of high concept to it. I remember watching...

maybe it was before a Monday night football game and it was Sims doing an interview with Patrick Mahomes and they're doing this interview and then they mixed into it like playing catch with each other. And I remember that being just a distracting element, but it comes from a place of people sitting around in the boardroom being like, well, we can't just do an interview. We have to introduce some sort of high concept to it, which maybe it's gone a little too far. I didn't realize, too, the genius...

of hot ones until after doing it, which is that like on its surface, it can appear that like, oh, this is some gimmick, like eat hot wings, right? But the thing that happens is that when you have something like hot sauce in

it disrupts your natural guard. Yeah. So as these questions progress and you're uncomfortable, you're speaking in a way that you would not normally speak. And that's really the magic. You're like,

Because you could do it with alcohol, but then you have like, you know, it's different, right? You have your inhibitions are kind of like, it's also, it's like, it's making you, it's going to affect you for a longer period, right? You're going to be drunk eventually. But this is like this temporary thing that throws off your equilibrium and your judgment. All of a sudden, it's like truth serum. It's truth serum is what it is. Yeah. And I think it also just distracts you from the formality of an interview. Yeah. You know, like it's,

It's so bizarre, just the concept in general, that you'll sit down oftentimes with someone that you're meeting for the first time. You'll have to create this rhythm, this energy, this rapport and this sense of trust with someone. And then you're doing it in this ridiculous context of having all these cameras pointed at you and it being a show. That just in its architecture should...

Probably brick 90% of the time. Interviews should have a 90% fail rate when you just look at how they're designed. But I think just the act of sharing a meal with somebody, that's something that can kind of create that trust. And then the hot sauce and then just being disoriented by the whole thing. I think you just kind of forget that you're on an interview show. Plus the way that we shoot. It's like deep in the room, the black curtains, all of that stuff you can kind of disappear into a void. There's all these little things. It's all the little things.

things that are very detailed. I feel like too, like we, you know, I've watched a lot of them and I've obviously, I've been on the show and you're like, you start to appreciate that you kind of leave there and you're like, what the fuck just happened there? How did they know this stuff? And like, like why did, what did I just say? Do I have to text them and say, please cut that out? Like all those things. But I feel like also you're so good at interviewing that I think your next

you know, like at some point you're going to stop doing it. Right. You're our next Charlie Rose. Oh yeah. I mean, I remember, I think he was the man and then he like peed on someone or something. And then they stopped letting him do the show interviews, but we need the guy who gives the really good in-depth interview. Well, thanks. I appreciate the compliment. We'll have compliment. It's a good, it's a real compliment. Yeah. Shout out to Charlie Rose. I'm still a fan.

Yeah, I think, you know, interviewing is just it's something that I don't think anyone's naturally good at in the beginning. And I think you only get better by the reps and all the hours that you have to put in. So that's always what I've just tried to tried to stay committed to is the next interview, trying to make it a little bit better than the next one and just keep building those things. And what do you advise for interview? Like if somebody was like, how do you give a good interview? Like, what's your take on it?

I think be naturally curious and enthusiastic when you're doing the kind of interview that I'm doing. If you're talking to a movie star that has a movie coming out, I think it's the, the,

The best thing, the way that I do it is I just try to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. So if we're interviewing a musician, I'll listen to all the music, make a playlist. That'll become the soundtrack to my life for a week. If they have a whole filmography, end your night with a little double feature and really soak in their output as an artist. Because I think in a lot of ways that can communicate who they are as a person just as much as anything that you would read online.

in a profile or whatever and then obviously you should do that other work and really dive into all the stuff and then you have so many resources on YouTube so many interviews so many things that you can reference in order to get a better understanding of the person that you're talking to but I think overall people that begin they'll probably just make a list of questions and just try to fill up that sheet yes like that's kind of enough for whatever that's the

when you're doing press, they're always like, hey, you want to do an interview with this college kid? And you're like, sure. And then the college kid is like,

What made you like comedy? And you're like, I watched it. And they're like, when did you start? And then they're like, I have four more. And you're like, okay. And it's like they're filling their quota. Exactly. Yeah. They just want to fill up the sheet and be like, well, that's the, that's, I've done my job and now I'll ask the questions and kind of rely on the other person to elevate this whole thing. Yeah. Your whole thing is essentially don't be lazy.

Yeah, and that's hard to do sometimes. It's effort. You guys put time and effort into it. I think it's obvious. When you do the show and when you watch the show, you're like, oh, they didn't just go, tell us about your movie. Right. Well, I think that that's also important because you're coming in to eat these scorching hot chicken wings. I think it's only right that we meet someone halfway. It's kind of just a respect thing. But also, and maybe you can speak to this, but if you're sitting down with somebody who's just like,

has their list or whatever, you know, the value of an interview is going to depend a lot on the generosity of the person that you're interviewing. So I think that if you meet them halfway, if you show them, especially early on, that it's going to be a different kind of interview, then they'll relax their shoulders. And then that can be just as disarming as the wings and the sauce. So I think it's that combination of things. And that really, yeah.

can make a good interview, but I think it's also just reps and time and hours doing it that makes you better. It's clear that you guys do a better job. It's so funny because it's non-traditional media and then you go, this is, like, you know, it's online versus like an ABC show or something and you're like, yeah, but you guys did a way better interview. Yeah.

Way better interview. And then it gets probably, even though you guys have, it's wildly popular and you have so many views, I'm sure there's a percentage of the public that are like, I don't watch this chicken wing shit. Yeah. They're like, I want to watch the traditional thing where I learn nothing about this person.

Yeah, I think so, too. But I think that's really changing a lot because, you know, obviously there's the eyeball situation, you know, like so many eyeballs now on these Internet shows. And then the production is flattened so much. You know, when you're looking at something on YouTube, it looks just as good as it does on those network shows. And then when you think about where a lot of these shows, I'll include ours, are.

live in culture, the kinds of guests they have in, the numbers that they put up. I think that kind of separating those two things is just, it's just a matter of time before that disappears because I think all of that is flattened so much. I think you're right. It's widely reported that the show has been sold, but you still get to operate it. So now that you're legit wealthy, what are the bitches like, dude? Yeah.

I don't know. It's kind of dry out here right now. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, there's a big, um, responsibility now, um,

with what we have going on because we didn't plug into anything you know like we basically plugged into severance yeah so now i feel like i've had such a busy year like january was the busiest month of my career so far until february hit because because of the lead up to selling it or no i i think now it's just there's the responsibility of do now it's on us you know what i mean like we were able to extract that jenga piece and get our baby and now it just feels like uh

It all falls on our shoulders to make it successful. So I've just been selling out with everything that I do this year. And then I think that also coincides with the profile rising and then a lot of these other pulls in various directions, including the reason I'm here today in Austin. So it's just been the studio, the airport, the hotel, back to the airport, to the studio, hotel, nonstop.

Sean, as a fellow bomber jacket enthusiast, how do you go about picking your outfits for the episodes? I appreciate you saying that because I recognize your bomber game and your polo game. Thank you. And I think that we're both similar that way. Yeah. So I have... We both have beautiful bald heads. Yeah, actually. Or shaved. Yeah. Sorry. Next Charlie Rose. Maybe I'm trying to be the next Tom Segura. Fuck. Fuck.

Looks good. But you do put thought into it, right? You always look sharp, dude. Yeah, well, I'm a uniform dresser. I think it's the same kind of vibe, but in just slightly different shades of blue, black, and whatever color this is. So you have the same problem as me, too, where like...

The other day, I got clothes shipped to the house. And I was like, I showed my wife. I was like, hey, what do you think of this? And she was like looking down. And she goes, it's going to be the same thing you always get. I go, what? She goes, you buy the same shit over and over. And I was like, what the fuck?

fuck man same with me but it's just because i'm not i'm not shopping but like once i find um a shape that i like yeah or a style that i like you're like i'll just get more of those exactly and oh they have it in kind of different materials yeah and then you're like i have 40 of the same t-shirt exactly so that's exactly what's going on right now okay good i'm glad we're the same page shit yeah when you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like all birds or skims or sure you think about

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Okay. It should. All right, I'll start. Okay. So...

Now, Sean, a Super Bowl commercial is a big deal in and of itself. But when you add Matthew McConaughey to the mix, it goes from a cool gig to life event. When you got the call to shoot with him, what was your immediate reaction? I thought it was amazing. And then it was even better shooting with him because you see his process on the sidelines. Yeah.

Which I'm like, wow, like the way that he's approaching this Uber Eats commercial, you know, like talking to the director, like in real time, workshopping alt lines. I think the original line that I had in it was like something that was like, these people

I can't remember what the original line was, but he was the one that changed down the spot to be like, these wings deserve a team. And then he's talking to the director and he's like, and then what if I'm like, I look over to Bill and I'm like, you got any good team names for Buffalo? Bill? Bill? You know, he's like doing that. He's like, you like that? You like that? I think the director is just like, yeah, that sounds good to me. He's like, Sean, you like that? You like that? I'm like, whatever you want, Matthew. He's like, that's the one. That's the one. And then even when he was sitting down,

you know, he'd like look to the director and he'd go, now are we NFL execs wheeling and dealing? Are we common folk eating wings in a Buffalo diner? Cause he was just like trying to get the motivation for his character, you know? And then I think the reason that that commercial works so well is because that's how he'll attack every scene that he does. And then he gives a shit commercial really cares, really gives a shit. Like, and it's kind of inspiring to me because in those situations, the only responsibility I'll feel is like, I'll be like, okay, just don't fuck up.

this line. You know, just hit my mark, don't fuck up this line. But then to see the way that he approaches it. 95% of us would be like, yeah, just don't fuck this up. And then be like, did I do that okay? And then they're like, yeah, that's fine. But to see his just kind of creative process and enthusiasm in that moment, I thought was just amazing. He was the best. When he came here, like, the fact that he was like, because we asked, you know, these certain questions about, like, how he prepares. And you see how much he, he's not just a guy that's just like,

what are the lines? Let me just phone it in. No, not at all. He really, really cares. And I think that's why he elevates things. That's why he is who he is and then why that commercial is good. All right. Now, stick your pinky in your asshole and take a whiff and let's see. All right. Whoa. Woo.

As someone who's constantly on the move, flying for interviews, brand deals, and the Hot Ones Empire, you've probably seen every possible version of in-flight madness. What are the air travel pet peeves that drive you absolutely insane? Are we talking bare feet on the bulkhead, people clapping when the plane lands, or something even more heinous?

I think, you know, part of the problem is everybody who works at airports is so burned out, you know, and you can kind of tell when you're going through. Like the other day I was, you know, going through a security line, you know, and I'm like, you know, just ask the TSA guys, like, do laptops come out? And he like didn't even really look at me and he like looked over my shoulder and he goes, laptop, stay in the bag. It's not that complicated like that. But in my head, I'm like, yeah, dude, it is that fucking complicated.

It changes airport to airport. Even in this airport, it changes lane to lane. Like, it is that complicated. But it's just kind of that over and over again. Because then you go, how many times has... Like, he's saying that because he's been asked that. I understand where he's coming from. Of course. But I understand your position, too. Of course. Exactly. So that's a problem. Yeah.

I like to sleep on flights. So pilots that get super chatty and are like telling you that you're flying over the Grand Canyon and are going through like humidity of your and wind speed of your destination when you land and they're really filling you in that way.

can kind of stop. Also, too, they'll pipe up and talk to you about deals that you can get if you sign up for the United Credit Card and stuff like that. That's insane to me. We got a great deal for you guys, 35% APR. Yeah, and they're just talking while I'm trying to sleep on the plane. That's kind of insane to me. Yes. So, dude, as a food guy, because you're somebody we associate with food, it is kind of crazy to be in an enclosed space and people just bring all this stuff.

food, sometimes food from home that opens up and then you're like, what the fuck is that? I got a bag of eggs. And you're like, that's, yeah, it's just, you couldn't have eaten that at the gate, man. You're exposed to, yeah, we're all animals and you're really exposed to it when you're at the airport, especially just being treated like cattle herding onto these planes. And you know what? Like I flew from like New York to,

to Austin today, you know? Yeah. And it wasn't, it was like one of those planes that's like a Greyhound bus with wings, you know? Sure. So I'm like, you know, even if you get like a first class ticket, it's just like this, but I'm like, isn't that a long enough flight to get the pop down? Oh yeah. Seats. And like, where's the cutoff for that? You see how long some of these planes have been in operation. Yeah.

Because you fly first on one airline and you're like, that's nice. And then you get on the next one and there's no screen. It doesn't lean back, really. And they're like, yeah, this thing's been here since like 91. And you're like, that's a fuck. It's time. It's time, dude. You got to take this one out of commission. When I was in New Zealand last year,

And I was flying back here. I remember they pulled my bag out of security. And the guy, I had the spray deodorant. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, the guy goes, can't have this. And I go, I can't have the deodorant? And he was like, no, it's too big. And I go, I flew with it here. And he goes, and where'd you fly from? Was it another country? And I go, yeah. He goes, this is another country. And I go, brilliant. He goes, what was that? I go, brilliant. Oh, and the other thing, too.

The pat-downs at TSA, a little much, I think. I had one today where they were like, yeah, aggressive, and they're like, oh, you just got to check your stomach, and I was like, that was a little lower than my stomach did. In front of everybody here. And the back of the hand. I've had so many back of hands against my nuts where I'm like, at least, I don't know. To an audience of like 80 witnesses. And they're like, what is that? That's my fucking beanbag, dude. Yeah.

Oh, what about this? This is one I'm curious about. You guys have had huge A-list celebrities on your show. It's pretty wild. How about after show DMs? Have those gotten? Oh, you know, the DMs off the top of my head, I'm sure there's been a bunch of them. But as you know, I think when you go through the hot ones gauntlet, you kind of either become friends for life like you and me, or this person never wants to see me again.

Does that happen? Yeah, like there's no middle ground. But like one of my favorite moments is when we shot with Dave Grohl. He brought in a bottle of Crown Royal and he made me go shot for shot as we went wing for wing. It was like this big bonding experience. I remember after the shoot, we're out back in the alley. I don't even smoke cigarettes. I was just chain smoking with Dave Grohl.

you know, cause he's like, you want a cigarette? And I'm like, sure. Yeah, exactly. So we're just sitting back there chatting heroin. Yeah. Like let's party. And then, um, he goes, uh, Hey, I've got a premiere for my movie tomorrow. Like you got to stick around. I was supposed to get on a plane and go back. And, um,

I was like, I kind of got to stay. So I called my team. I'm like, is there any way that I can just stay in LA, go to Dave's thing? You know, I'm trying to be best friends with Dave Grohl right now. Yeah. And they said yes. Yeah. They said yes. They made it work. So I stayed, went to the premiere. And then afterwards they had this like friends and family Foo Fighters show. Um, so I went and like saw Foo Fighters and like kind of like an intimate club, which is like so cool. Okay. But in the middle of the show, uh, Dave goes, uh,

So last night, or he was like, so yesterday I got to do one of my favorite shows of all time. And at three o'clock this morning, I woke up and shit my fucking brains out. So this next song is dedicated to Sean Evans. He's in the audience. It's like a movie, like spotlight on me while I'm just standing there in the audience. And then he covered shame. And then in the chorus, he'd be like,

And they go, shame on you, Sean. And by the end of the song, like the whole crowd is going, shame on you, Sean. Shame on you, Sean. So this is the best story ever. I mean, that's like, it's out of a movie. It feels like a movie. Yeah, it was awesome. So that's my favorite. Have you had, because I remember there's, um,

And I think this is probably a shared experience for a lot of people that go on Hot Ones. You have this built-in anxiety, right? When you're like, hey, so you have a producer. So what's this? What are we doing here? And they're like, you've seen the show. And you're like, yeah, but they're escalating. And they're like, yeah, we'll get progressively hotter. And you're like, how fucking hot is this going to be? And they're like, yeah, it's pretty hot. And then in your head, you're like, fuck, man. That's going to be uncomfortable, right? And then you go, you're doing it. And then you're like, oh, what's the...

later result of this going to be like how upset am i gonna fucking shit fire am i gonna have emergency diarrhea like so have you had like immediate after taping things where someone's like either notably sick or like they're or they're vocally upset about like have you had people like really be like what the fuck yeah like i i don't know if

Because by the end, shockingly, it's usually a very positive shoot experience. I would imagine that these things would go flying off the rails all the time, you know, like if you just look at it on paper. But honestly, like 95% of the time, it's like...

they're happy they did it when they're done, even if there's some turbulence while we're going through the thing. And I'm trying to think if like anybody's had some sort of meltdown or episode afterwards, but at least while the cameras are rolling and while I'm on set, you know, it's kind of like, see you later. Sometimes like, where's the restroom? You know, we clear a path and like to the hallway, to the left, you know. Daylight savings time can hit you so, so hard. What if you could regain the energy you lost from the time change?

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You can do more without spending more. Learn how to save at Cox.com slash internet. Cox internet is connected to the premises via coaxial cable. Cox mobile runs on the network with unbeatable 5g reliability as measured by UCLA LLC in the U S two H 2023 results may vary, not an endorsement of the restrictions apply. Um, but, uh, overall, like I haven't been like the times that I've been cursed out or like mostly ingest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I remember like for me,

I left there. I was like, oh, and then I was like, oh, it's going to be, thank God there's wet wipes back in the screen room. And then I was like, oh, wasn't that bad? But then, of course, I was like, yeah, digestion takes a while. Yeah. It's later. And I do worry because, you know, like a lot of times people are on a press tour or something like that. So they're doing a day of press in New York and then they're hopping on a plane. And I do always, you know, think about that person the next day being like, I hope they weren't in that window.

I wonder how their anus is doing today. Yeah, I do think about that. So you were raised in Chicago. Have you heard people say it like that? No, that's literally the first time I've ever heard somebody say that. That's so funny to me because I used to, like, Christina used to be like, are you going to Chicago? And I'd be like, why are you saying that? She's like, people say that. I go, no one says that. And then literally one of the times, like a morning she did that, I went to LAX and I'm walking through the United Terminal and a lady is,

on the mic and she goes, flight 2221 to Chicago gate. And I was like, holy shit, somebody is fucking dumb enough to say that. So there are people out there that are saying that the wrong way. But I do think, I was just in Chicago last weekend. Awesome. It was fucking amazing. And I always have a good time when I go. And I gave them credit. I go, you're incredible sports fans because you have to deal with whatever you get and you keep dealing with it. But you're a hardcore athlete.

White Sox guy, right? Yeah. You're a Southsider. Yeah. So if you were chiseling out Mount Rushmore of White Sox greats. Yep. Okay. Who's making the cut? And is there any universe where Mark Durell doesn't have a spot on there? No, there's not. So Mark Burley. Is it Burley? It's Burley. These guys literally wrote a pronunciation. They did. They phonetically laid it out. Yeah. Okay. Mark Burley. Yeah.

Hey, Mark. Definitely on there. Huge apologies. Is he dead? Put him in the Hall of Fame. No, he's alive and kicking. Hey, Mark Burley. I got it right this time. Okay? Mark Burley is definitely on there. He's probably my favorite White Sox of all time. And then, well, actually, maybe, no, Frank Thomas is my favorite. But then Mark Burley, Frank Thomas, big hurt. Frank Thomas with the fucking T-pills? Yeah, dude. My dog, yeah. Dude, I love those. He's like, I fucking take my dicks hard all day.

Yeah, so Frank Thomas, Mark Burley, and then... Frank Thomas is a guy I'd like to watch fuck someone. He's one of those guys where you're like... That'd be interesting. The big hurt with the liver. Yeah, with the big hammer. Fuck yeah. You know that thing swings. All right, we'll get back to your list. Sorry. No, please. No, no, I've met some... I've told this before, but I've met some Major League Baseball players. I had no idea. They were like, oh, you know that throughout...

MLB on all teams, Dominicans shower separately? And I was like, no. And they're like, oh yeah, because they're wild. And they'll do shit like...

They're not gay, but they'll come up in like. It's a free culture. They're like, they'll just slap their dicks against like each other. And then we're like, nah. So it's like Dominicans, they do their own thing. And then the rest, they're like, I go, it feels like segregation. They're like, well, it kind of is. They're doing their fucking wild shit because they're so sexually free. That's a, I had no idea. Yeah. And I've had. That's interesting. The first guy that told me. Yeah. Multiple people. And then I pitched, I told the other guy. And they're like, oh yeah. A hundred percent. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah.

It's pretty interesting. And then you go to the Dominican Republic and you're like, you know, I get it. Checks out. Yeah, yeah. I have two more spots, right? Yes. I'm going to put... But you have Burley, Frank Thomas. Frank Thomas. I think I'm going to put Ozzy Guillen on there. Okay. And then I have one more spot, which can be kind of tough.

And you know what I'm going to give it to? There is this blue collar workman center fielder that I was obsessed with when I was in high school named Aaron Rowand was maybe not like the biggest name, but he used to just crash into walls, you know, like just over the shoulder going into the wall full force. But I always just loved the way that he played and an honorable mention to Scott Pesednik as well.

Wow. Okay, there you have it. It's official. And hopefully this will get built pretty soon. The way things are going, you know. It is crazy, right? Because, well, first of all, if you have, like, you have the Bears, which is like... It is crazy. I'll roll Bulls. You know, you'll roll White Sox season into Bears season into Bulls season. Yeah. And it just goes on and on and on and on and on. And you're like...

It's interesting that, you know, because I think with sports, that's always just going to be this like joy, misery slot machine that you're playing all of the time. It is. And only one team is going to win a championship. So I think the appetite and enthusiasm that you can build for a team is all about the ride that they take you on that season. Right. A thousand percent. So even if you're, you know, a couple games out of the wild card at the all-star break, like there's still something to follow, something to tune into. Yeah.

And it's been so frustrating for like the last decade and a half. Like all of these seasons are like dead on arrival before they even start. And then there's no real sunlight for how they get out of it. You know, like there's I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be looking towards. It's so funny because I tell this to people. So because, you know, there's people who are like, I don't care about sports. And then there's like kind of people who like casually watch some things. I'm like, here's the thing about it.

If you're not emotionally invested to some degree, then you're not getting the thing out of it that is there. It's like if you go, I don't care whether they win or lose, it's like, well, then you almost shouldn't just watch. The whole thing about being a sports fan, obviously some people take this to an extreme and they're way too invested. But the fun of getting behind...

a team is that you care enough to be miserable when they're down so that the, when they are great, the joy is so much greater. That release. You have to have the up and down. And so, you know, a lot of these things are like, I always watch college football and like, it's, it is cyclical. Like the, the teams will be great. And you're like, these guys are great. And then they'll have this downtime. And then the team that wasn't doing so well, and it comes back, but it feels like,

It usually belongs... It really does belong to, like, 10 to 12 teams. Yeah. That, you know, the other ones really can't compete because they can't bring in the recruits to that level. Yeah.

In the pros, though, you're like, man, some of these windows where it's not good is like a lifetime. It's like decades. And, too, I always think about it. I mean, at the end of the day, that business is a nostalgia and memories business. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's just been so flat for so long that I wonder. I'm like,

Are they losing an entire generation of sports fans there? You know what I mean? I think about that sometimes. Well, if you're a kid who was born, say, in Chicago, I don't know, 15, 20 years ago, you haven't experienced the highs, really. Except for a couple moments. If you're a Blackhawks fan, you've had some big times. But they don't know what the Bulls...

thing was like right just like heard about it they're like oh that's cool and you're like no you don't understand this shit was wild like it was a given like oh they're gonna dominate you know that's how i that's how i actually thought of them when i was a kid like the first time i ever saw adults behaving bizarrely was during those um eastern conference playoff matchups between the bulls and the knicks yeah no that was the first time that i'd see my dad you know screaming swear words at the tv you know and i'm like why is he freaking out

They win all the time. I'm like, they win all the time. I thought it was like a Harlem Globetrotters thing. So I'm like, why are all the adults in the room screaming at the TV and acting like something's at stake here? They always win. So even that, I didn't really enjoy. The other bizarre behavior to watch in an adult is when their sports team is doing well, and then they're cocky. And you're like, yeah, it's not you. You didn't do this. But they're like, fuck you guys. It's my shit. You have nothing to do with this.

But they adopt the arrogance, and they're like, to me. I would just like a chance to adopt that arrogance. I have no idea what that's even like. Feels like just on that whole cyclical thing that the Bears would have to be due at some point. I mean, I think we'll see what happens this year. They got their coach, and I'm going to ride it out with Caleb and see what happens. And the NFL is much more of a parody league, which is why it's kind of bizarre that

They haven't been able to crack that code or solve that Rubik's Cube, like, at least a little bit recently. But there is a thing about the NFL, too, that, like, you just notice over time. And you go, how can this be? But it is true. There are organizations that...

understand winning more. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I think that's true. You're like, that's weird. They all have money, but you look at the Steelers, and you're like, yeah, this organization understands going after winning. They're doing it decade after decade. Right, and then there are these handful of silly teams, like the Jets or the Bears or the Jaguars or whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm from Cincinnati, dude. Yes. Yeah, I understand. Yeah.

That the president of operations pays himself $35 million a year there.

For real. Mike Brown's like, that's my salary. You're like, okay. This is not about winning. This is about you being like, this is pretty cool. This is a fucking... He runs it like it's a hotel and he's like, yeah, it's full. Yeah, right, right. They're not going anywhere. I don't care. I don't give a shit. So for this next question, shit in your pants and then sit there and deal with it. Now, just tell me if it affects your answer. Yeah, yeah. You've been known for asking hard-hitting questions and now it's time for the real question. Do you believe...

in Sasquatch are you full of this is all nonsense or do you lean more I don't not believe when it comes to them and if we put you out in the Pacific Northwest with night vision goggles and a GoPro do you think you'd make a compelling case one way or the other great quote I love this parody of me by the way what are you talking about

I was like, just fucking write some things down for me. So I'm obsessed with the idea of Sasquatch. I don't believe that Bigfoot's actually walking around there, but I would love to go out and do one of those hunts. That sounds fun. There was this...

Sasquatch show that I used to watch all the time, you know, and it was just kind of a group of crazy guys who, as the show goes on and on and on, you see them becoming crazier and crazier and crazier over time. And even like the sort of tensions between the group, it goes from this optimistic. We're going to find Sasquatch today to where like, you can actually kind of observe simmering resentments amongst the

the group there. But I think I like the idea of it. I like the idea of a Loch Ness monster. Yeah, as a kid, that was a really exciting one. And I never developed out of that thing, of thinking these things could exist. So do you love UFO things and alien landings? Well, I'm less compelled by that than creatures walking amongst us. So that's the lane you like the most? Yeah, like a mythical beast amongst us. Okay. I have so many alien...

friends you know yeah well that's because that's the thing I just can't hang with them you know what I mean because people are into aliens one of my friends is like check this shit out and I'm like what is it he's like this is over my fucking house last night and I'm like I think those are birds he's like that's not a bird and you're like he's just like look at him that's crazy you fucking shot that um you're like alright dude I don't know are you do you believe in the moon landing yeah I'm gonna go with the moon I'm gonna believe in the moon landing but there was a hesitation there

Well, you know, anything's possible, but... Do you think the Earth is round? Yeah, I believe the Earth is round. Do you think it rotates around the sun and everything? Yeah, that all checks out to me. Okay. Will you guys, as this continues, please prep all... Get all the Bryce stuff ready for us, just so I can show him, like, all three. I just want to show you that there's... The evidence? Well, there's other voices out there. A lot of people will not realize this, but...

The Margaret Herrick Library is kind of like the Holy Grail for film nerds and a place where you can find original scripts, production notes, Hollywood history that feels too sacred to be touched. You had the chance to do interviews there leading up to the Oscars. What is the coolest, weirdest, or most unexpected thing you stumbled on? And did you actually end up with like, whoa, this is actually here? Yeah, well, they have tons of cool stuff. So yeah, I did a series of interviews over there. The coolest thing that they have, or the coolest thing that I saw at least, is

they have Quentin Tarantino's handwritten pulp fiction script. That is... Because I've always... He's very famous for being like, you know... No, don't type it up. He's like, would you type up a poem or a song? No, you write it by hand. He writes all of his...

his right scripts are handwritten and then he gives it to somebody to type up i thumbed through it it's in a three ring binder just on notebook paper um but is it written characters film style like is it script style yeah it looks like a script so it's like exterior yeah and even sort of um even in the way that he's writing it's like in the center of the page like kind of like a really yeah yeah yeah is it legible yeah you can it's it was cool to see his handwriting and like

All the dialogue is almost like exactly the same, but it was interesting to see that some of the characters' names were different going through. But that was the coolest thing that I saw. But they have tons of cool stuff there. It was kind of an amazing thing to just go through the archives. Another awesome thing... Was it fun to see handwritten N-words not from a friend? Yeah. Yeah? Cool. You're like, oh, wow, yeah. Usually this is in a note from a buddy, but this is cool. This is...

Hollywood lore. Yeah. History right here. Oh, here's another one. Another one. Almost every page. And then another cool thing that I saw

is they have just these pages with casting notes, so you can see all these people that were auditioning for things, and then sometimes there'll be kind of mean notes next to it, like not believable, you know, like you see all that stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Can anyone access this? Or no? So I don't know. Maybe some of the things that I was in are under it, but it's a library that's open, and it's awesome. I really wish I could...

Just write interviews out of it. I want to ask your opinion on this. This is like, I had mentioned this a couple days ago, and I was like, I want to know if this is me or if this feels genuine, like more true. I feel like, like the Oscars just recently happened. Right. I was like, you know, I just feel like it used to be more of a cultural national event, almost like a Super Bowl of sorts. Right.

And I'm like, am I sensing something changing legitimately? Or is it that me personally...

Am I just more removed and less interested? I get both parts of it because I always assume that any movie that I bought a ticket to and watched blew up at the box office. And any movie that I didn't buy a ticket to and watched bombed at the box office. I think there is part of that. Oh, the things that I engage with are all banging and awesome. And the things that I'm not engaging with...

Yeah, like the Oscars, I was like, I don't know. Yeah, so I think that that's part of it. But I think just holistically, when you look at entertainment in general, if you just look at the last couple of years, the ways that movies have performed, everything is just kind of...

becoming more fragmented when you just look at the whole thing. There's massive movies and then everything is kind of small. There's not the in-between, really, it feels like. Yeah, and too, I think the things that go straight to streaming. There's always just these things that are coming at you all of the time. So to have real cultural penetration anymore is just really hard. I think the Super Bowl is kind of the last thing that we share as a culture. You know what I mean? I think everything else has become sort of

I wonder what Oscar viewership was like this year versus 1995. Yeah, right. I wonder if it's dramatically different. Would you look that up, what they are those two years? Because I do wonder, is it dramatically different where there's like,

Because the other thing is like you, like I hear about, and it kind of, I guess it kind of makes sense, is that NBA viewership is way down. Yeah, yeah. And that makes sense to me too. But like when you think about it,

There's also in times that we're living in where you can just catch the clips the next day. You're like, oh, well, the cream will rise to the top and anything that's worth talking about will reach me in some other form, whether it's like something that I see on YouTube. Highlights, basically. Yeah, the highlights are always delivered to you. And I think that's the same with sports. So I'm not wrong about this to a degree. This thing says, how did the Oscars go from 43 million to 15 million viewers in just eight years?

Yeah, that's pretty significant. Yeah, that is. That's a dramatic decrease. Yeah. So it's not. No, I think that although I think that that's right. I'm interested. I'm reading kind of the things that they have. Yeah, I just it just it's like this thing where you sense without like having looked up that number. You just feel like.

I don't know, almost like even though I work in entertainment, you go like, yeah, people aren't like, oh my God, the Oscars. Yeah, but I think it's maybe just about movies. You know what I mean? There's not that kind of breakthrough in a way that there used to be in the 90s. And they used to nominate less people for each category, which I think makes it feel harder to get...

In that conversation. So it becomes more exclusive, in other words, right? They're like, wasn't it like three nominees for the big ones? Right, right. And now they're like, oh, there's 10. And you're like, 10? And two, I would like to see, I mean, this is just like a dumb guy just talking out of his ass about one of the most...

prestigious cultural institutions and all of entertainment. But I do think that, um, best picture is just going to naturally lean towards the dramas more and more, you know? So I would like to see in some way, um, excellence awarded in the action category or like, maybe there is some ways that, um,

we can throw a little red meat out there with these sorts of things in a way that doesn't totally tank the prestige of the event. Or, you know, I grew up as a comedy lover, you know? Yeah. There are so few theatrical comedies that are released and made. But they also never celebrated those. Yeah, the really good ones. Like, to me, Kingpin is like a Best Picture nominee. You know what I mean? It's just... The things that we saw...

Jim Carrey and like Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray in comedies, like in just straight comedies, you go that the movie doesn't exist without that person in it. Right. It wouldn't work. Right. So, yeah. So I think maybe that, but you know, who knows? Yeah. All right. So we have these things. So Bryce Mitchell, UFC fighter comes on the scene. You have these going through the speaker.

For us? Yeah. Okay. So this is like his episode one of his podcast. Coming out hot. Comes out hot.

Hitler, hell and the Nazis. I really don't think that he was because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy based upon my own research, not my public education indoctrination. I feel for that co-host. He was a guy I'm proficient with. He fought for his country. He wanted to purify it by kicking the greedy Jews out that were destroying his country and turning them

all in the gays all in the game out the kids getting out the kids they were queering out the women they were queering out the dudes you know what our first tranny surgery ever was happened to be in germany before hitler took over you know the books that everybody makes fun of hitler burning you know what the books was queer books okay so he hits burn queer books he gets all the notes right he's like he's like and this is my show this is episode one

People go absolutely insane, rightfully. Dana White, because he's a UFC fighter, was like, this guy's a fucking moron. He comes out and he's like, he's the dumbest person we've ever had the pleasure of hiring. And he's like, hopefully people will just watch him fight to see someone beat the shit out of him. And then you're like, I guess this guy's not going to

make content anymore. Yeah. Did he make an episode too? Well, he's, he's started putting out, um, other, other opinions, which is why I brought up, uh, the fact that he has, you know, other things to say. And everybody is just totally talking shit about me because of how stupid I am. Let me explain myself a little bit better because this is what I meant by what I said. Um,

And I think nobody's going to disagree once I explain it. I stated that you can prove the earth don't rotate because you can take a helicopter, hover it 20,000 feet for 24 hours and come back down in the same spot. Now everybody said, oh, a helicopter has inertia. I know what inertia is, dude. I'm not stupid. Let me tell you what I mean.

Here's a picture of the circle of the Earth, supposedly, if you believe in a globe. And the red circle is the helicopter. When the helicopter ascends above the Earth's surface, it now has a larger flight path around the Earth. As in, when the Earth, the inside circle, the black circle, does one full rotation...

The red circle or the flight of the helicopter actually has to cover more distance. But what I like is that when you see somebody who has multiple cool opinions. You know what I mean? So like...

That you're like, who the fuck is like, I'd like to go fishing with Hitler. It's the same guy who's like, hey man, if you take a chopper up in the air, look at this, it's not going to land in the same spot. Or it is. And that means that the earth don't spin. You're like, I got it. And then he also goes into, I don't know, he's also not as... What's your issue with seatbelts?

Seatbelts, I think it's just like you get to choose if you want to wear a seatbelt. The government doesn't, you know, they don't wipe my ass for me, and they shouldn't be able to tell me if I want to wear a seatbelt. I personally don't like them because I think, what if you've got to jump out of the car and roll, you know, duck and roll? Nobody ever thinks about that. That's the best point, though. So I don't personally wear a seatbelt, but I grew up, my mom never wore one. I just don't believe in them. It's not up to the government to decide if I want to wear a seatbelt.

about not wearing a seatbelt is the goddamn ding and like the ding, ding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fucking car tells you put that motherfucker. So like I have been like driven by like a car service with some psycho fucking, you know, dude who's just up there and you're like ding and you're like, hey man, are you gonna, can we just stop the ding? And you see the guy like, fuck, I gotta put this.

So it means that guy drives around all day with it ding. Like when the battery goes. Yeah, like that doesn't bother you, dude. Yeah, it doesn't drive you completely insane. Some guy drove us on the road a few weeks ago and we were all looking around like, is this really happening? Where he had, you know when you have the radio on and you don't find a station and it's just static? Yeah, yeah. Just that. We were like, don't say anything. And we were just like.

Is he deaf? I was like, hey, man. He's like, yeah. I'm like, no, you can hear. And then we just kept driving. The whole time, like white noise. I was like, this is what you cruise around with? Just static in your ear all day? And he's just like, yeah, I'm fine. This is good. Soothes me to drive. And this guy, wherever he goes, ding, ding.

Ding. Every 20 seconds. And then he's just sitting there like, wish I was fishing with Hitler right now. He's kind of a performance artist, though. You know, like this could almost be like a performance art. It is a good lane for like WWE. Yeah.

Like his heel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If he was like trying to be like, make me the villain, I'll just, I'll open up with Hitler would be cool to hang with. Like, and they're like, all right, like everyone's going to know your name. Right. Right. And then he's going to double and triple down after that. But he's got, he's got lots of thoughts. So many thoughts. Yeah.

The funny thing is, I love when somebody actually has opinions, and then he, in his mind, he has great supporting arguments. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's actually kind of my favorite part about it. When you've done your own research, you know? And you're like, yeah, that's how I came to this. And you're like, yeah, no, that's fucking good, man. And I like even, too, his, like, this is what I meant to say, but I'll be like, you don't need to clarify. Like, I can tell you me, you know...

You meant that. Yeah, yeah. That wasn't an accident. The best part of all that, though, is that other dude who's like... He frowned face.

He's like, this is episode one, dude. Frozen in time. You said this was going to be fun when you got me to do this with you. You just dragged me into some shit that I don't want to be a part of now. I'm going to get so many fucking calls after this. Listen, that's the plight of co-hosting on a podcast, you know?

Oh my God. Um, what about a Chicago pizza question? Sure. Chicago is known for deep dish. It's like the Chicago style pizza. Yet you live most of the time in New York, which is known for a completely different style of pizza. Uh,

Are you going to be a diplomat or are you going to choose a side? No, here's what I'll say. Pizza is amazing in any form. I love Detroit-style pizza. I love a pub pizza. I love the classic New York slice. It's always good. But I will say this. Sometimes people make fun of deep dish pizza or call it a tourist thing. People have strong opinions on deep dish pizza. But...

Being away from Chicago, I crave it. Every time I go back, I always have to eat it because nobody else really does it.

So I have to get, you know, like a Lou Malnati's with sausage and green pepper. Like, I really do love deep dish pizza and miss it quite a bit. So I don't know this landscape, but like, is any place that serves pizza in Chicago kind of required to do deep? Like, do they all do it? No, no. There's just like a handful of places that do it and all have different origin stories and claim that they invented it. It's like cheesesteak. It's the cheesesteak thing.

um, through and through. Um, but I do miss deep dish pizza and I'll always defend it. Like I could actually just really go for a slice right now. Yeah. I wish we had pizza right now too. That'd be awesome. Pepperoni. Uh, I like a sausage, green pepper. Oh, sausage, green pepper. Fuck. Yeah. Um,

You went to broadcast journalism school, that track. Yep. And a professor suggested you should be a weatherman. Yeah. Do you ever imagine... Here's the thing. Hearing that, I go, oh, he would have been great at that. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate that. But you're a good presenter. Mm-hmm. And I think you would have been, you know, information, little wink and a smile. Yeah, yeah. Right? And they always have, like, little quips or jokes. You would have developed your sense of that. And then there'd probably be, like, a...

like an IG fan page of like what's Sean's bomber jacket like today or whatever right for the weather guy or like I want to fuck the weather guy or something like that you would have you would have had some like super fans some moms at home who are like honey get out the door I'm about to watch the weather and I think being like a regional celebrity in like a smaller market would be awesome

Awesome. Awesome. Yeah. So but no, I always thanks for saying all of that. Yeah, I think, you know, weather is challenging. We always in the final broadcast journalism class is one of those things where students would just rotate. So you'd be the anchor one day, you'd be the sports guy the next week, then you direct, then you'd be on camera, then you do weather, all of these different things. And people used to fold.

with weather because you have no teleprompter, you're off green screen, you're going through the clicker and then everything's opposite your instincts. You know, like you feel like you're reaching this way and then you look at the monitor and it's the other way. It takes a lot to figure out and then you have no safety net. But I did kind of enjoy that space. But a lot of people would fold under that.

Do you actually know a lot about weather, though? No, and I'm not even really that... I was never that great a science student either, so it was going to be an uphill battle in order to get there. But you like the presentation aspect of it, right? I like the presentation aspect of it, and you just have to think about...

When your broadcast journal is a major, there's a part of you that maybe thinks that you can be on TV, but it's not like majoring in accounting where it's like you graduate, you interview at the top four, then you get a job. It's not a normal career that way. There's no natural foot in. So I was like, well, that's a way in. You know what I mean? So that was a thought that I had for a little bit. But thankfully, I didn't pursue it too hard. But maybe I should. I'm just thinking about being a regional...

Celeb in a mid or small market. It would be sick. So cool. It would be so sick. I lived in LA 20 years, and that's not a small market, but all the local news people are very... Beloved. They're beloved there. Exactly. Remember Dallas Rains? What's that fucking guy's name? Dallas Rains. That's made for local news. That's made for... Look at that smile, bro. Oh, that is... And they always have a lot of them...

Like appearance is obviously a big thing. He's also in the L.A. market, but it's like, you know, the hair, the veneers, the tan. I mean, I know it's a bygone era. You know, he's kind of like the last of a dying breed. But that's that's an important subculture of broadcasting. So while I think that's him like 40 years ago and that in the headshot. Yeah. The signed one. I think that's him. Incredible. Probably came out to try to be an actor.

Always. Yeah, same with porn. Everybody goes, I'm here to act. And then someone's like, hey, what do you think of $300 to show your asshole? And they're like, oh, okay. And they're like, I kind of fell into this. And you're like, yeah, I know. I've watched that porn doc on Netflix. And they have this fucking, it's so fucked up. But they're like, hey, if, they're like, what are you getting paid today? And this girl's like,

I don't know. It was like $500. And then the guy's like... And then she goes, but they offered me another $100 for a cream pie, like the finish inside of me. But then she goes, I got to buy the Plan B pill, which is $40. It was $40 at the time. And she goes, but that's $60 in my pocket. I'm like, yeah, that's not...

A lot to say come inside me. To be like, yeah, but you got 60 more dollars. 60 bucks is 60 bucks. But for sure, local weather is like a byproduct of... Failed auditions. A rough pilot season. I think anything you end up doing with a camera anywhere is like I was trying to act.

Yeah. Like anything. Like everybody was like, I was trying to act and then I ended up doing this weather. Yeah. Now I'm just telling you it's fucking breezy today, but I do think it's kind of cool. The weather, the weather track is kind of cool. Yeah. Like Letterman started it as a weatherman too. I forget that. I also loved, this is like a, I mean, not that it doesn't exist anymore. Is that him?

Yeah, look at that. And I think he got fired. This is maybe lore lost in time. Because he congratulated a tropical storm on being upgraded to a hurricane. You know, it's like a very Letterman joke. That's so funny. That is so funny. We're under a flash flood warning, but all of that seems of little importance once you take a look at the cloud cover photograph made earlier of the United States today. And I think you'll see that once again we've fallen to the prey of political dirty dealings.

And right now you can see what I'm talking about. The higher-ups have removed the border between Indiana and Ohio, making it one giant state. Personally, I'm against it. And they're laughing. I don't know what to do about it. I mean, that's awesome. That's so awesome. That's so good. Yeah. And there's also, that to me speaks to also the audience at home, where there's people dying laughing at that. Right. And then there's people being like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Like, they're totally confused. Why is he talking about a border? Like,

Did they really? Like questioning that it's real, you know? Yeah. That's for sure happening. And even his writing is just kind of in that style, you know? And his irreverence, you know, towards being a, you know, he's probably bitter about doing the weather, you know? And then that's coming out in his presentation, you know? He's the best. He is the best, dude. That's so fucking funny. I also miss, I have, I guess it's a nostalgia thing, what the national news guys were doing.

when I was growing up. Like, it was Peter Jennings, Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw. Mm-hmm. And, like, I really... Missed those guys? I loved those guys. I loved, like, their presentation of... It was really prompter, just the... Was, like, comforting to me. Classic newsman. Classic newsman. I liked it. We still have, I guess... A little bit, yeah, but not like that. Not like that. There's also, it's like, there's something to be said about just old white guys making you feel like everything's okay. Yeah.

You know? They don't hire them anymore. Poor guys. And the news isn't a let-you-know-everything's-okay kind of business anymore either. It's totally... People don't understand that, like, you want a rogue? Sure, yeah, yeah. I've mentioned it, that I remember the transition...

from news is just something that's read where they're like, here's what's happening in Somalia today. And you're like, okay. To, it was, what I remember specifically is CNN. The first time I was like, I remember like going through it and it was Anderson Cooper, but he's like ageless or something. So it might've been 50 years ago, but it was like, it was Anderson Cooper. And then he like, he said something that was happening and he was like,

He commented on it, and I was like, what the fuck? Is this weird? And he was like, yeah, it's not. I personally think that's a bad... I'm like, why is he fucking doing this? Right, right. But then you realize that he was doing it because he wasn't the only one doing it, but it was slowly happening. Fox was starting to do it where it was like...

Yeah. Like, oh, this is the person who's going to say what I want them to say. Right. And then that'll make me feel good because they're sharing the opinion. But those guys were just like, here's the thing. Yeah, yeah. But that's, I think, like, when, you know, sort of like the classically trained school versus, you know, in a lot of ways, entertainment is just what we want reflected back at us. You know what I mean? And then at some point, yeah, like somebody was like...

rolling through and being like, well, this is, you know, what holds our audience, you know, like this is the watch time. They're just like looking at the, that's definitely, and then just cranking the other side. And what happened too was that when Fox did it, they were doing it first where they were like, they're going to look this way. They're going to, they're going to take this angle and their numbers went through the roof. Right. And so everybody else was like, uh,

We gotta do the opposite. Do something to get the other people because they're killing us. Do you think, this is maybe a fun thought exercise, but as the market swings, the pendulum swings in the other direction, do you think there's a market opportunity for a classic newsman to take over in these times? Or is that just dead? I don't know. I keep saying this about things that everything seems cyclical, but it feels like

It feels like in my lifetime, nothing's ever been more split where people are just so adamantly against the others. And what they need is someone to go like, hey, how about I'll just tell you. Calming Brokaw with a steady hand. I'll just tell you what's happening. And they're like, yeah, fucking tell me what's happening. And that person, it feels like there would be a market for them. Yeah, I'm just looking at...

Yeah. The white space in the market there, you know? I'm like wondering. But then like I go, oh, I thought that already, wasn't like PBS doing that? And then, I don't know, when I said that last time, somebody was like, no, fucking PBS is not doing that. And I was like, oh, okay, sorry. Like you can't, you know, everybody gets upset about, it's so funny because if you say something that like certain groups say,

agree with immediately you're bombarded with like you fucking get it smart guy you're like oh okay and then the second you say the thing that they don't it's just vitriol like it's just so much hatred of like fucking idiot and you're like okay so I mean I guess that show you just can't look for validation in comments no that's a bad idea it's a bad idea just in general but it is like it's still I feel like the split could not be wider and stronger and just yeah always growing more intense right and it

I don't know if it's like an old guy thing, but to my memory, I don't feel like it was like that. No. I mean, maybe this is just me being an old guy, but sometimes you just feel like the 90s was the last vestige of that, and then it just started to tip. Yeah. And it's all because of 9-11. I don't know what it's from. I don't know. That was a bad day. It didn't really happen. It was a controlled thing.

demolition i don't know um somebody's real happy i said that though yeah they're like he finally said it yeah he gets it he gets oh really do buildings just fall like that really it's george bush and his friends they they went in there the night before and they set dynamite inside and just fell look at the signs were there all along they were always there the planes are just a little thing on the side just to get you distracted

Anyway, we're going to make the news on this one. We hit a lot of cool topics. Fingers crossed. It's really going to help. It's going to help sauce sales for sure. What the fuck are you talking about? Thanks, Tommy. Always a pleasure, dog. Hey, look, in your defense, you didn't do anything wrong. It was all our side. Yeah, I was just the guy with the frowning face on the other side of the table. But I've heard from other people before, you have to say something in the moment. Otherwise, people get mad at you.

for not having so this might be a good soundbite for you to be like I just want to say some of the things you've shown me or said you know what I mean yeah like I'll get sanctimonious in a sanctimonious way well yeah just so that like people go because the big criticism will be that like things were played for you and things were said and you didn't speak up in the moment you should have spoken up in the moment just

Just live and learn. I was just going with the flow here. Yeah, that's not a thing to go with the flow. I was just trusting you, Tom, and maybe that was my problem. I should never have trusted you, Tom.

But I should know better at this point. That is actually a really good soundbite, is that don't trust Tom. Don't trust Tom. I love that I did your show and that I've gotten to be friends with you. I couldn't be happier for your success. Thank you, Doug. I do think you are. I've said it before. I think you're the best interviewer on the planet doing this today.

You really are the Charlie Rose without peeing on a, some or whatever he did. And, and I think, I really do think you're the best. I think you're the best. I'm happy for you. I know you're extremely wealthy now and I expect incredible holiday gifts when that season comes.

I would also like to visit your estate when you're done acquiring it. You're invited. Always. Always. Open door policy for you and Christina. Where would you reside if you were picking your, like, this is where I want... Would it be... Would you stay anywhere? I think about it sometimes. Do you want out of the big city in a more peaceful setting? Well, there's... You know, I'm a city rat by nature, I think. Yeah. You know, and will be for the foreseeable future. And...

Eventually, someday, I'd like to get back to Chicago. You would? I'd like to die in Chicago. You'd like to go home? Yeah. Really? I don't want to die in New York. I don't want to die in LA. I'd rather die in Chicago. I'd like to die in Chicago. So I want to get back there eventually. But sometimes when I do just let the daydream go, I was like... That's such a good, by the way, way to summarize it. Where do you want to die? I never hear people...

say, where would you like to die? That's how I think about it because I have no exit strategy at the moment and I have fallen in love with New York. When I first moved to New York, I treated it like prison. I was like, I'm doing two summers and I'm doing two winters and I'm getting the fuck out of here. How long has it been now? Like 14 years, I think. Wow. Or 15.

13 years. I don't know. Something like that. Uh, lived there longer than I have lived anywhere else. And now I'm in love with it. And it's hard to adjust when you go to another city after you're like used to the pace and style and everything of New York. So I love New York. I have no immediate plans to leave, spend a ton of time in LA. Um, but you know, you know, uh, obviously because of unfortunate events, um, the landscape there, you know, like my dream was always like,

Sometimes I'll stay at this place called the Malibu Beach Inn. I know exactly where that is. By that Nobu over there. That place is rad. It's so great. It's so great. I love that place. It's just a chill zen sanctuary for me. If I'm working and I've got this weekend off, I'd book there. I'd take these long walks up north and you just see those crazy estates that are on the beach there. When I'd look at those, I'd be like,

That would be so sick, you know, to just like have the beach and that beach access. But then we'll also have these sick pools and, you know, like those houses are so sick. And then you're just by that Zen ocean water and you can just fall asleep with the windows cracked and just something different about the ocean, something different about it. And it's so calming to me that I was like.

If things work out in just the right way, this would be amazing. All right. That's a great answer. I've thought about it a little bit. So you can now take your newfound extraordinary wealth and buy a house in Malibu. Yeah, right. So you know where to find them. Buy the dip. Buy the dip, yeah. Fucking dude. Malibu is, even with all of its chaos, you get used to hearing about

Obviously, fires is a big thing. Yeah, right. Mudslides and everything. It's still there's nothing. It's the best. It's the best. Malibu's the best. Malibu Beach Inn, you got a free plug. There you go. Give us a couple free nights. Soho Beach House, what is that called? Yeah, they have that club over there. That club's over there. Nobu's there. All you need. They used to have this fried chicken joint across the street from Nobu, and I always thought that would be fun to...

Because that's a great name, Malibu fried chicken. I was like... What's better than fried chicken, too? It's the best. Do Nobu on Saturday, fried chicken on Sunday. Hey, can we get some fried chicken tonight? Let's go. Hell yeah. Let's do fried chicken, dude. Fried chicken is the shit.

It's so good for you, and it's so good to eat. That's the other thing I want to know. Because you have a good taste. What are you watching? Are you watching any shows or movies right now? Yeah, I'm watching. Well, I watched every Oscar nominee, every adaption. You did watch every one? Yeah, because I was doing all these interviews, so I watched every single one. Did you love one the most? Yeah, I mean, Nora was probably my favorite film of the year, and it cleaned up.

But I also really loved the substance and I love Corley that I was kind of rooting for her for director. And I was rooting for Demi and best actress, you know, like when I was at the event and just thinking about, yeah, you're like, yeah. Um,

so I did love those movies a lot uh I'm happy that the White Lotus is back that's one of my favorite shows yeah that show um Severance banging right now love that show never seen it everybody it's one of those that's all right if you're not on the if you're not you don't need to jump on you know no I feel like I have I'm such an idiot is that I always whatever is like the hottest show if I didn't already start it I always go like I get that I go I'll watch it later

I was late Game of Thrones is already done before I even started it I started it fucking 2023 hell yeah you and me both dog I watched the season and a half though I get too distracted I think it's I have a little a lot of characters a lot of different spots yeah yeah my favorite was that Breaking Bad was like a cultural phenomena and I kept being like oh fuck off you know and then

watching you're like this is the best show ever well here's the thing i started the show as the last season was beginning to air whatever year that was like 2015 or something so i started i all watched this show so i got to watch the entire series in like two weeks of like this is the fucking best thing i've ever so i always remind myself that um what was it 13 so it's 13 it was even earlier

It was, yeah, that ride of being able to go through it without having to wait was incredible. Yeah, it was incredible. But I do keep hearing that Severance is amazing. It is. It's really good. It is, yeah. Shout out to Adam Scott. Shout out to Ben Stiller. Okay. Well, guys, make a note that in 2029, I will watch Severance. Please. Don't let me forget. Thank you, Sean. You're the best. You're the best. Thank you for doing this. I'm sorry if I did something that will affect your brand.

in some way i wouldn't have it any other way yes i'll go down with you that we you have lots of uh studio space here you know i could always pop up a show here anytime okay yeah we will we will make you know what we'll get rid of people for you i would love to tell somebody that they lost their job today because you're here and i'd love to break the news with you oh dude also that would be the best ig real tiktok video ever of like hey sit down

And actually stand up because you got to get the fuck out of here. Sean's here now. All right. Thanks, guys. We'll see you next time.