cover of episode EP76 用好彩虹屁,生活乐开怀

EP76 用好彩虹屁,生活乐开怀

2024/6/17
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关哥:恰当的赞美能够提升他人和自己的积极情绪,这源于对他人评价重要性的认知。80后普遍缺乏被夸奖的成长环境,这导致成年后需要更多外界肯定来认知自我。外界评价对个人的影响很大,因此,我们对别人的评价也同样重要。积极的反馈和肯定能给人们带来惊喜和快乐,即使是微小的奖励。东北文化中,赞美通常比较含蓄,避免过于隆重。每个人都需要被赞美和肯定,这能提升积极情绪。彩虹屁的核心是真诚,而非谄媚或逢迎。育儿经验可以应用于成年人之间的相处,积极的肯定和鼓励能建立正向的互动机制。避免使用反问句和指责,用积极的方式提出要求,能改善沟通效果。表达肯定和赞美需要克服来自他人的不接受,但这能带来积极的改变。真诚是可以被感受到的,应该从善意角度理解他人。表达好感是双向受益的事情,及时表达避免错过机会。沟通的目的是解决问题,而非抱怨发泄。要学会课题分离,专注于自身,减少对他人想法的过度关注。坚持做有意义的事情,并从积极的反馈中获得动力。 萌萌:真诚的赞美能够被感受到,并帮助他人打开心扉,获得肯定。东北文化中,亲密关系的表达方式与南方不同,以“怼”的方式表达亲密。真诚的赞美能帮助他人找到被肯定的出口,并改善彼此关系。童年缺乏肯定,成年后通过学习彩虹屁改善家庭关系。反复的赞美能改变对方对赞美的看法,并建立积极的互动。夸奖的方式因人而异,要根据对方的性格和关系调整。夸奖孩子需要更细致,并给出理由,让孩子感受到真诚。即使无法改变大环境,也能通过积极的沟通改善身边的小环境。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why is 'rainbow farts' (彩虹屁) considered an effective way to maintain a positive team culture?

'Rainbow farts' refers to sincere and timely compliments that help create a supportive and relaxed environment. In a high-pressure work setting, this practice fosters optimism and resilience by acknowledging and appreciating each other's efforts, which strengthens team bonds and morale.

What is the significance of giving compliments in a timely manner?

Timely compliments are crucial because they capture the authenticity of the moment. Delaying praise can make it harder to express genuine appreciation, and the impact of the compliment may diminish over time. Immediate feedback reinforces positive behavior and strengthens relationships.

How does the practice of 'rainbow farts' differ between adults and children?

While the core principle of sincere praise remains the same, adults often require more nuanced and specific compliments compared to children. For children, even simple affirmations like 'good job' can be highly motivating, whereas adults benefit from detailed and thoughtful recognition of their efforts or achievements.

What role does sincerity play in giving effective compliments?

Sincerity is the foundation of effective compliments. Genuine praise, rooted in observable facts or specific actions, is more likely to be well-received and impactful. Insincere or exaggerated compliments can come across as flattery and may undermine trust.

How can repeated compliments help in building confidence?

Repeated compliments gradually break down a person's defensive barriers and help them internalize positive feedback. Over time, this consistent affirmation can boost self-esteem and reinforce the belief in their abilities, leading to increased confidence and self-assurance.

What is the importance of using specific details when giving compliments?

Specific details make compliments more meaningful and credible. Highlighting particular actions, traits, or achievements shows that the praise is thoughtful and based on genuine observation, which enhances its impact and makes the recipient feel truly valued.

How can the practice of 'rainbow farts' improve family dynamics?

In families, sincere compliments can reduce tension and foster a more positive atmosphere. Acknowledging each other's efforts and contributions, even in small ways, can strengthen emotional bonds and create a supportive environment where everyone feels appreciated and understood.

Why is it important to separate one's intentions from the recipient's reaction when giving compliments?

Separating intentions from reactions, a concept known as 'task separation,' reduces overthinking and emotional burden. The giver focuses on expressing genuine appreciation without worrying about how the recipient might interpret it, leading to more authentic and stress-free interactions.

How can the practice of 'rainbow farts' be applied in professional settings?

In professional settings, 'rainbow farts' can enhance teamwork and morale by fostering a culture of mutual appreciation. Recognizing colleagues' contributions, whether through formal feedback or casual compliments, can improve job satisfaction, collaboration, and overall workplace positivity.

What are some practical tips for giving effective compliments?

Effective compliments should be timely, specific, and sincere. Focus on observable details, use the recipient's name to personalize the praise, and deliver it in a way that feels natural and authentic. Repeated and consistent compliments can also help build trust and confidence over time.

Chapters
本期节目探讨了彩虹屁的技巧和意义,分享了如何通过真诚的赞美提升沟通技巧,改善人际关系,并保持积极乐观的心态。节目中提到,彩虹屁并非谄媚,而是发自内心的肯定和欣赏,能够有效地传递爱与感谢。
  • 彩虹屁是真诚的赞美,而非谄媚
  • 及时、当面、反复的赞美更有效
  • 善意沟通,用夸奖代替反问和指责
  • 表达好感,让双方受益
  • 降低期待,关注事实而非抱怨

Shownotes Transcript

这期节目我们想和大家聊一个轻松又实用的话题:「彩虹屁」。

熟悉节目的朋友都了解,我们的团队文化之一就是「彩虹屁」。因为每个人都很会夸夸,使得我们在卷到飞起的大环境下,依然能够保持着一份松弛、乐观和从容。

所以,我们很想把这种保持“好心态”的方法分享给大家,尤其是那些羞于赞美别人,也羞于接受他人夸奖的朋友:每个人都需要赞美,恰到好处的赞美是传递爱与感谢的方式。完美的「彩虹屁」不仅是有技巧的,也是最真诚的。

希望我们可以面带微笑,心存感激,接受赞美,赞美别人。

⌛时间轴

Part 1|勇敢的人先享受世界

01:18如果希望自己被看到,不如先看到别人

05:34没有人不喜欢被夸赞,只不过羞于表达

09:08好好沟通| 只需用善意真诚的方式说出事实

12:19好好沟通| 要先学会用夸奖代替反问与指责

13:33好好沟通| 也要学会用善意理解他人的赞美

15:13好好沟通| 表达好感是双方都能受益的事情

Part 2|学会如何「彩虹屁」

20:38及时,有话当场夸,酝酿越久反而越难开口

23:48当面,现场的的语气、表情和动作都很重要

25:18反复,真诚总经得起考验,真心总会被听见

28:33称呼,夸赞陌生人时,能记住姓名更显真诚

29:49心态,降低期待,要解决问题而不是抱怨发泄

32:58分离,夸奖是我的事,别人怎么想是对方的事

34:32找补,「不好意思」和「赞美」可以同时表达

37:19具体,细节最真实,发现他人的每个细小优点

39:27策略,对不同的人,可以采取不同的表达方式

【往期精彩节目】

🎯 人生管理

EP46 2023年,我们想通过这几个“锚点”连接生活)

EP60《百岁人生》:既然有可能活到100岁,那不如重新来设计一下人生轨迹吧)

EP71模板分享+思路讲解 |你我的人生梦想,都在这张家庭财务规划表里了)

👴 养老

EP07 独生子女、延迟退休和养儿防老——和凤凰财经记者聊中国式养老)

EP21 养老阶段搞不好长达40年,你想过钱从哪里来吗?)

EP45 个人养老金,可能有不一样的理解)

EP63 如何在30岁规划七份养老金来源:尽力而为,量力而行,小额投入,减缓焦虑)

EP66 社保退休金原来是这样算出来的,四大因素决定能领多少钱)

EP72专属商业养老保险:可能是“门槛最低压力最小”的养老金)

💪 健身

EP49 练了200节课后,我把团队小伙伴都拉去健身了:行动与计划之间只差一个助力?)

EP62 和健身教练聊科学锻炼 | 运动无限好,健身请趁早)

👨‍💻 职业

EP50 如果我三十五岁前知道这些就好了:聊聊职场中的底线思维)

EP51 做副业搞钱,难吗?)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 婚姻、生育

EP19 婚姻和生育,都阻挡不了我们成长的脚步)

EP33 电视剧只是生活的一部分,生孩子到底可不可怕?让妈妈们自己说)

EP36 我们讨论丁克,并不是为了站队,而是呈现人生的更多可能)

💸 记账

EP29 聊聊攒钱:并不只是物欲的克制,而是掌握人生的第一步)

EP43 记账三年,我从月光实现了买房)

EP61 那些记账后才明白的事|更焦虑或是更有数儿,都是【有知觉】的真实生活)

💰 理财

EP17 跟也谈钱聊聊财务自由:人生要多做可逆的选择)

EP05 串台小酒馆 | 为什么有钱人也需要保险?聊聊保险和投资的关系)

EP47 女性财务规划指南 | 大胆谈钱、勇敢说不,怎么用钱更好地解决问题)

EP73 投资小白的反思|定投都亏成这样了,为什么还在投?)

🎙节目介绍

『保持通话』是一档深耕于保险,却不局限于保险,而是“从保险的视角去观察世界,思考人生,寻找生活密码”的中文播客节目。

保险源自于生活中的不确定性,本质是对人生风险的管理。

我们希望通过传递更多的专业知识和行业信息,做好保险科普,让更多的人了解保险,让有需要的人用好保险。

通过对「理财」、「职业」、「健康」、「认知」、「成长」…不同话题的延伸,去寻找解决问题的底层逻辑,探索个人和家庭的能力边界。

用保险的方式【理性应对人生】,平滑生命周期中可能遇到的人生风险。以保险的视角【感性链接生活】,在不确定的世界中获得对生活的掌控感。

📱欢迎关注同名公众号 @保持通话StayConnected,关注更多节目动态。

📱欢迎关注公众号 @关哥说险,拓展更多保险知识内容。

【编辑制作】柯霖

【节目制作】Meng

【节目运营】Meng、阿九

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