I Got Banned From Hinge | WORST HIGH SCHOOL STORIES
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- I'm gonna put myself out there and I'm gonna go on Hinge. I was on there for four minutes before I got a lifetime ban. Welcome back. - Welcome back, worsties. - Worsties, we miss you. - We miss you, we always miss you. - We have so much to talk about. - Oh my God, so much to talk about. - Yeah. - First of all, I wanna talk about the other day when we were at a party. - Yes. - And you did the most haunted thing to me. - Oh, great.

I don't even mean to do these haunted things. No, no, no. It was hilarious. Okay, good. So there was this kid. I can only call him a kid. He's 21 years old. He came up to me and was like, are you Brittany Schmidt? And I was like, yeah. And then you were like, do you follow her on Instagram? Isn't she so funny? And he's like, yeah. I saw you eating alone in an In-N-Out two months ago. That was hilarious. And I was like...

Like, not me thinking he's a comedy fan. Yes. But he actually just pulled up next to you at In-N-Out and saw you eating in your car by yourself and was like, wait, I feel like I know her. And then found you on Instagram. Cool.

Which when I say and then the conversation progressed and you're like you two should hang out. I'm like he's 21. I was like I'm 14 years older than him. There should be a law against us hanging out. But I feel like he likes you. He was very sweet and then I DM'd him afterwards because he DM'd me after the In-N-Out incident. And we had DM'd and I DM'd him afterwards being like it was so nice to meet you. And he responded likewise mate. Well he's Australian.

He's hitting on you. No, no. Me, delusional? Me feeding the delulu? You should message him again. Send him a nude. I mean, like, that was him slamming my head in the table being like, yeah, you old... That was him slamming the door shut in your face.

Like you old fucking lady. Me too, you cunt. I can't, Brittany. I'm done. He was really cute. He was young though, 21. That's too young. Tan, love the accent. I mean, all of it was good. I'm a sucker for an accent. If a guy has an accent, he is like, he could be like a five, but the accent makes him a 10. He wasn't a five. He was cute. No, this guy was already cute. But I'm saying like if a guy is a five. But like, what should the legal age be?

Because I feel Of what? Of dating? Of me dating somebody younger I don't think I mean 21 is too young 21 is young It's too young You're 30 I'm going to be 35 Yeah I'd say the youngest You should probably go Is like 25

I think that's too young. Really? Yes, because I think in lived experience, you know, like if you had a really crazy, like your teens were crazy. And I mean crazy like Drew Barrymore crazy. Like you started snorting coke at 13 and like you lived all your adult years really young. Yeah. That's one thing. But most people don't. They kind of play by the rules. And like life starts after 18. Yeah.

and I think 18 to 21 is just too short of a window for me to have anything in common with that person. But you'd be really surprised that some of these young dudes will literally worship you. Well, not him. He gave me a likewise bait. Well, not him, but I'm saying some will because it's like they haven't had their first big love yet. Right, right, right, right. And you could be that for them. And so some of these young dudes, like, they literally, they're not jaded, and, like, some of them will worship you. Like, it's like once they get to, like...

27, 28, 30 is when they've had some experiences and they know how to play girls. They know how to like, you know, be fuck with people's emotions and things like that. But I feel like when they're at like the 25 age, um,

Mostly they're still pretty innocent and nice. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think when I think back on my own life, 25 is when I got into my first significant relationship. Yeah. Exactly. Same. My first like really like real, real one. You know what I mean? Well, I had real ones at like 21, but I move fast. You're a lover girl. I'm a lover girl. I've lived with boyfriends since I was like 21. Yeah. And I'm just like, move in right away. Move in. That's my next DM, too. Move in. Move in. Do you want to move in? Do you need a place to stay? Move in.

of that bait. Yeah. No, he was super cute. It's so fun. I mean, it's hard to tell and then when you talk about you trying to, then you're like, you know what? I'm going to go back on. This is crazy. I am like, I'm going to put myself out there and I'm going to go on Hinge. I was on there for four minutes before I got a lifetime ban from Hinge. Did it just pop up on your screen? I tried to go look at the people that were liking my profile and it said,

Your shit has been deactivated for violating terms. If you're confused, reread the terms. You can submit an appeal. But basically, go fuck yourself. And I was like, okay. So I just tried to break it down in my head because I'm like, there were six pictures. None of them, to my knowledge, were nudes that I accidentally leaked.

One was just a full push shot. You're like, I don't know how I'm banned. Just one of your fucking OnlyFans photos snuck on there. Sorry, I'm fucking a piece of corn on the cob. I need everybody to know I like fairs. I'm from Wisconsin. I can't. But the prompts, which I hate, the prompts are so stupid. But one of the prompts is my simple pleasures are. And I put lilies, sprinkles, cupcakes, and contemplating the sweet release of death. Oh, you put a suicide note up.

That's where they got you. And then the next one, the next prompt was my therapist would say I dot, dot, dot. And I said my therapist would say I have generalized anxiety, OCD thinking and a big fat ass. Oh.

But those are jokes. Yeah, but the people at Hinge are looking at that like, oh, this girl's got serious problems. They're going to look at that because they have no sense of humor probably. Or also they're just scared that if you do kill yourself, then they're like, oh, she wrote it on Hinge and then they get sued or something. By who? Nobody likes me enough to even sue anybody. I do. No, you wouldn't sue somebody. I wouldn't sue Hinge. But I mean, I'm just saying they, I would appeal it. So did you? Yeah, but I'm like,

I don't even care I kind of just want to know why like it's like weird that they don't even tell you like you did this which rule yeah like on Instagram when you do something wrong Instagram is like you violated this is the picture this is what you said whatever like Hinge should at least tell you like this is what you did it's almost just kind of weird right yeah it's weird and it maybe is just like a sign from the universe that I don't need to be on a dating app

Are you on Tinder at all? No, girl. What? Is that too low? Tinder's... Yeah, I think Tinder's for if you want to get like fisted in an alley. I don't think there's a... Well, I might download Tinder then. No, I might consider me a new Tinder member. No, what about... What about a Bumble? I liked that when I was on there. I never went on Bumble. I had my dad on Bumble and he called it... You just match with your dad. He's like, love you. Love you. Not like that, but you know. He called it Fumble. Fumble!

So good. And he called him unhinged. But my dad's a fucking savage. Here's the thing about my dad. He was raised in a different time. He's a different kind of man. He didn't know about a filter and he didn't know about Photoshop. God bless. Your dad just thinks I'm like really hot. And then he meets me and he's like, who's this ugly bitch? Is Brittany coming? And Brit, he literally would hold up their pictures and

next to his face next to their face and be like when was this taken he's like the neck looks a lot different savage i would kill myself on the dates on the dates hold up a picture from like they're cheerleading in high school obviously it's a fucking old picture next to their face and be like no or what would they do did he tell you

I mean, probably laugh like, I don't even know if they laughed. I don't even know what happened. He just, um, maybe he got kicked off the app. Maybe it's a Schmidt family tradition to get kicked off dating apps. Like she's related to him. Just download everybody with the last name and just block them all. I can't. Girl, did I ever tell you my eHarmony experience from back in the day? No, please do.

That's like plenty of fish or like... This was like all they had back in the day. Like this was like 2000... It's like the Friendster. 2005 or 6 or I don't know, maybe 2008. I don't remember, but a long time ago. And I signed up on eHarmony and...

And you fucking had to pay for that shit. And it was not cheap. And it was just the website at the time. And I matched with this guy who was like, I'm a stunt performer. And he only had one photo. That should have been my red flag. And it was a headshot. And it was a great picture. And he looked really handsome. And like I looked at all his stats and he said, you know, I'm 5'10 or 11. I'm, you know, this much weight. I do a stunt performer for a living. This is how much money I make. Because eHarmony, you have to put everything. Like how much money you make, everything like that.

and we they match you to people based on your income right and I just started doing like okay at the time and so he's we start talking on the phone we hit it off like he's very sweet and then he is like I want to take you on a date

And I was like, okay. And this is like maybe after like a month of talking. Yeah. Yum, yum, yum. Back to our meals. Do you guys like yummy food? You guys, I'm actually so excited to talk about this because I'm always kind of slightly skeptical of meal delivery services. And then when they sent these meals to us, holy moly, they are good. I want more. I'm getting really greedy. I know. I'm using our code because this is crazy. Also, this discount is insane. It's 50% off. What?

50% off for you, worsties. I literally freaked out because when they, same thing, when they sent them to us, fresh, never frozen. So first of all, you're getting fresh meals. You're not getting any frozen stuff. You put them in the fridge. It's for your, like your week. It's your food for your week. The pricing comes out to like really cheap per meal. And like, it's unbelievable. The food is delicious. Like Tommy and I were like expecting,

Yes. Yeah. Just whatever. It's so good. It's crazy. And like if you're on any sort of diet, they have calorie smart, keto, protein plus or vegan or veggie, whatever you need, they will do for you. And what I love is it's single portions. Yeah. Makes me feel less alone in life. You know, I'm like looking at the meal for just.

And I love it because it's easy. You just pop it in the microwave or you can, you know, put it in a bowl and heat it in the oven if you want. But it's so easy. It's just easy and it's healthy. And I feel good eating it. It's not junk food. You know what I mean? It's like a lot of these, I mean, not that a lot of meal delivery places are junk food, but like when you buy these, when you buy these. They're just not great.

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That's codes BRITS50 at factormeals.com slash BRITS50. Go get them, Worsties. Yay! Enjoy. You can eat them while you watch the podcast. Yummy. Yum, yum, yum. So I'm getting ready and I hear coming up the street is

like a car backfiring, like in a cartoon, like that noise, you know, like crazy backfiring noises. And I'm like, what is that? And I go outside and it's a car coming down the street that looks like it should be at the, like at the whatever, the dump. And it's rusted, covered in rust. And it's, and it's like backfiring and he's driving down the street and it's my date.

And this is the guy that said he makes $150,000 a year. Oh, bless him. And he pulls up and he's like, Brittany? And I was like, oh my God. Not only does that picture that he posted from 25 years ago, he gets out of the car and this man is up to here on me. No, and you're short. And I'm in heels. Okay, but you are short. I'm 5'6", but like, so that means he's like 5'4". Yeah. And he said he's 5'10", 5'11".

And looked nothing like the picture. Like the picture could have been literally like you showing me a picture of a black girl and then you showing up. It was that different. And I was like, oh, my God. And I immediately just faked that I was like sick. I was like, I don't feel good. I have this really bad stomach ache. Or I said something like I have cramps or diarrhea or something. I literally didn't even care. And he's like, oh, you don't want to go out?

I'm like, first of all, I don't want to get in your death trap car. Right, your Flintstone car that we're fucking peddling on.

Like literally backfiring like a cartoon car. Like the fucking clampets are coming to town. Like it was so bad. All my neighbors were like, what the fuck? I was so embarrassed. And I felt bad because like we did kind of connect talking. But then when I like met him, it just changed everything because it was just all lies. You know what I mean? And I'm like, I don't like want to start something founded on lies. And I'm also really shallow. So yeah. Also I'm deep as a puddle. Yeah. I kicked him to the curb. I was like, bye bye. Yeah.

Oh my god. That was the only time that I immediately deleted it. I was like, get me out of here. Nightmare. But then he had your address. Weren't you scared? Ew. No, because he wasn't like... Because that car could not make another trip. I'm like, I would hear him going. Yeah. Let's be honest. He's not going to sneak up on me with that fucking car. It's like a rapist blowing his own rape whistle.

I could hear him coming from like two miles away. Like, oh, he's on his way to shoot me. Great. I have plenty of time to prepare. But yeah, so like that was my like really bad experience with that. And I told you about the artist guy from Raya, right? No.

I thought I've talked about this. Maybe I talked about it on my podcast. So I matched with this artist guy and he's super cute. And I'm like, normally like whatever, not going to go out with like, he like made like his art was like gold guns and shit, like weird art. But it was like not really my cup of tea, super modeled, modern tacky art. Right.

So I match with him. We go to Mozza on Melrose, right, for dinner. And we're hitting it off and everything is like amazing and he's so good. And we're like really great. The conversation is going great. And we're like maybe like two hours into dinner. And then I go, so what happened in your last relationship? And he goes, oh, she has a restraining order against me. And I'm like, oh, what happened? And he's like, I punched her in the face. Oh.

And I was like, I'm sorry, what? And like this guy literally seemed so nice. So I was so confused. I was like, oh my God, like, why? You know what I mean? Why? But like, obviously when he told me that I was like very shocked. Yeah. Punching someone in the face. Crazy. And he's like, well, she hit me first. And I believe that if a woman hits you, you have a right to defend yourself. And I was like...

One of those. Okay. And then I saw like this weird like gleam in his eye when he said it. And I was like, okay, this is very like it went from me like crushing on him to immediately like, you know what I mean? Just the way he felt so he didn't seem remorseful and he didn't seem regretful about it. And he just seemed very like happy he did it.

So I was like, okay, cool. Like, I'm going to go like, you know, like dinner ended and I kind of like cut it off. Right. And then we're out front. And this is like when I was really popular on Vine.

And this young boy comes up and he's like 15 and he's like, hi, Brittany, can I get a picture with you? And he was so cute. And I was like, of course. And then he's like, do you mind taking it to the guy? Oh, no. And the guy turns bright fucking red. And he's like going like this. I could see with his fists on his side. And I was like, oh, my God, he's going to fucking deck this kid. And so he's like, he just takes the picture really shitty. And he's like, here you go.

And then he's all pissed off. And I was like, are you okay? And he's like, I just think that was really fucking rude that he didn't ask me if he could take a picture with you. He's like, you're with me tonight.

Oh, hell no. I was like, you get picked up in that guy's car. Let me call my eHarmony. I might give this little fucking shorty a chance. Girl, I was so scared at that point. And then also because he now knew where I live. Yeah. Because I let him pick me up, which is a mistake. Don't give people your address. Meet at the restaurant. Right. So he knows where I live. And I,

I don't know how. So I go back to my house and I text him and I was like, you really scare me. I said I was honest. I was like, you scare me like the way you treated the kid and the what you told me about your ex. Like, you know, like if you're abusive towards a woman, like you don't even sound like you regret regret it.

Or anything like that. So I just was like, you scare me. Yeah. And he was like, really remorseful to me. And he was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like, please give me another chance. I'm a super normal guy. I swear. Like, like one more chance, like whatever. Right. So we were set to, I'd already bought us tickets to like go to see a movie the next night. And he was like, I'll just meet you at the movie theater. It'll be cool. Don't worry about it. Right. So we go to the movie and,

And we're watching the movie and he's like trying to like touch my hand and be like intimate with me but I'm still so fucking freaked out by the other shit. And then I can't remember like something else happened. I think it was it was somebody else coming up to me or something like that and he got fucking weird again. Again got like angry and I saw the anger of someone talking to me. It was like a guy or something talking to me and he went immediately psycho. Yeah.

And I went home and I was like, please do not contact me again. Right. Like I was like, I'm done. I don't ever want to talk to you again. Like you're scared. You're scary. Yeah. Literally, I'm running late the next day for like an audition or a meeting or something. And I just jump in my car and I go to backup and there's a car behind my car in my driveway. And it's fucking him.

And he has flowers and he has, I don't know how long he's been sitting in my driveway behind my car. I don't know. I don't know how long, all day. I wake up at 3 p.m. So motherfucker could have been there from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. He jumps out of the car with the flowers and he's shaking.

And he's like, I like you so much. And I literally cracked the window like this. Like, I was so scared. And I was like, I got to go. I'm in a rush. And he's like, just please. He's like, give me one more chance. Give me one more chance. Another chance for another restraining order, my guy. Yeah.

Girl, I was so scared. I didn't call the cops, but I told him right then and there. I was like, you cannot come here again. Like, you cannot contact me. You cannot come here or there will be a problem. That's a fucking no for me, dog. I was so fucking scared. And actually, he honored that. He contacted me maybe two more times and tried to, like, reach out, like, a couple weeks later. But I didn't respond. And then that was it. And thank God I never saw him again. But how scary. What?

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so icky when you go on a couple dates with a guy and then he feels like this entitlement to you and like I had one guy do that oh my god I don't even know if I want to launch into this story this is so fucking layered and dramatic but whatever I will this guy he was friends with do you remember Lil Bow Wow yes

Okay, so when I first moved to LA we went to the club and little bow Wow had a table and this guy was friends with a little bow Wow boy and this is like it's not pre Internet but the Internet's not on my phone like I'm still on a Blackberry or whatever so I can't like I'm not like quickly looking people up I feel like that has changed now we're like when you meet somebody you can like quickly do a Google search and be like I know exactly who I'm dealing with right now. Yeah, and

But he was basically a friend of his. And then we hooked up. I think like we hooked up. We went to like, who is Lil Bow Wow's dad? Like Master P, I think. Yeah, yeah, Master P. Went to Master P's house in Calabasas. It was like a fucking.

Very strange night. I was like sleeping. I think we slept in their like dining room. Like it was not a lot. Oh my gosh. Just on the pool table? Yeah. I can't. But we hooked up a couple times and then the last time we hooked up was, I don't even know if I've told you this story. This might, I feel like I've told you. You never told me this story. It's going to blow your mind if I have it.

So the next time I kind of started getting like weird vibes from this guy. There was just something off. Like when he took me to his place, when we weren't like crashing at Master P's dining room table, there was just something slightly off. Like he had a place in Hollywood, but it was like not furnished. And it just like was kind of littered with drugs. And like there was something about him that was like a very druggy vibe. And I was like, something's off here. But I was also a drug addict at the time. So I was like.

It was a real red flag for me to think someone else was doing too many drugs because I was doing too many drugs. He's like, oh, you need a seat? Just sit on that chair made of weed. Just go ahead and have a seat on that. Yeah. So there was just something slightly off about him. I kind of kept like when he would ask to hang out, I was like, no, no, no, no, no. And then...

I, it was 2012. I had just gone to Arizona, got my DUI. Oh my gosh. They filed my paperwork wrong. And there was, my lawyer was like, they filed it wrong. They have 20 days to refile it. But if they don't, you're off the hook. So I started celebrating like I was off the hook. I was like, I'm done. Like whatever. I was with this girl, my friend Andrea at the time. And we were just in our hot tub, like drinking wine. And this guy hits me up and he's like, hey, you know,

come through to the Beverly Hills Hilton. And I was like, no. And he was like, it's Grammy weekend. Like, it's going to be really fun. You should come. And my friend Andrea was like, let's fucking go. Like, it's Grammy weekend. He knows Master P. He probably knows somebody else called da-da-da-da-da. And I'm like, okay, whatever. So we go to the hotel. I get, like, nervous telling this story because it's so fucked up. So we go to the hotel and we drink and it's him and his friend Nick and then me and my friend Andrea. And we're drinking by the pool.

And we go back to the room and we hook up and pass out. And then Andrea and Nick were, like, in the other bedroom. And then you know how hotels, like, have adjoining doors or whatever? I didn't know they were, like, adjoined with somebody. But at, like, 6 a.m., the door flies open. This woman comes through and her... She is a fucking mess. Like, she...

Her wig is like falling off of her head. She's like manic. And she's like, Nick, Nick, where's the weed? I need the weed. And I get I'm like naked. So I like slide out of bed like a fucking egg in a frying pan. And I quickly like put on clothes and he's like, we're out of drugs. We don't have anything. And she's like, I got in last night. And she's like, your sister was like face down in the fucking tub. She almost died. You're supposed to keep a fucking eye on her. And he's like, she's an adult. Like she can keep an eye on herself.

and I'm like what the fuck the fuck is happening right now and I get up and I was like I have weed if you need weed I'm like I don't know who you are like this is a very frantic energy but if you need weed like we can smoke so we're smoking weed and she's just like like you could tell she'd been up for like days and she's like shaking and I was like you good and she's like don't ever do drugs and I was like

I feel like that's a trick because we're smoking weed right now. Yeah. Don't ever do drugs. Let me have another beer of that. And so we smoked weed and smoked a cigarette. And she's like, come help me pick out this outfit. I'm going to this party tonight. And I was like, okay. And she shows me her options and they're all bad. I was like, none of these are good. But if you have to go in one of these, like here, wear this. And she's like, okay. She's like, you should come to this party tonight. It's like the most coveted party in town. And I was like, okay, sure, whatever. And I go back into our room.

And this guy that I was hooking up with was like, oh, you got to meet Auntie Whitney. And I was like, what? And he's like, that's Whitney Houston. And I was like...

What? Are you serious? Yeah, that's Whitney Houston. So I called one person when I left, Brian Ford, my mentor, best friend. I was like, crazy morning, just smoked a joint with Whitney Houston. Apparently, I'm going to this party later, whatever. Me and Andrea go back to her house because we barely slept. We go to sleep. And when we wake up... You go to sleep at Whitney Houston's house? No, no, no. Oh. No, first of all, we're at the Beverly Hills. Oh, you go back to Andrea's house. We go back to Andrea's, fall asleep, wake up, Whitney Houston's dead in the bathtub. And...

- You just hung out with her before she died? - The morning before she died. The guy that I was sleeping with, this is when he gets fucking crazy. He's like, "If you say anything to the press, if you ever tell anyone," he's like, "I'll fucking kill you. I know where you live. I know everything about..." And I was just like, "Dude." I'm like, "What would I say? I don't know." - Because it was the drugs he gave her.

I don't think so. I don't think that's it. So my surmise of the situation, which this is crazy too, everyone else in that room besides the guy that I was hooking up with and my friend Andrea and me is dead. So Nick, the guy we were hanging out with, was Nick Gordon, which was her adopted son. And then the girl who almost died in the tub the night before was Bobby Christina, who was her daughter. Nick and Bobby got into some weird fucking toxic relationship, even though they called themselves like brothers and sisters. They started dating after Whitney died.

And then Bobby died the exact same way Whitney died. In a bathtub? Yes. Bobby Christina died in a bathtub. And then Bobby Brown sued Nick Gordon because he thought that he was involved. And then Nick didn't show up to court, so he got charged, but he didn't have any money. But basically, Bobby Brown thought that this Nick guy was the drug dealer and had a hand in killing Whitney and Bobby. And then Nick overdosed on heroin and died. So they're all dead now.

But in that moment, it's the biggest news in Hollywood. It's like... Were you just so shook? Because you were just hanging out with her? Listen to me right now. I'm still shook about it. Like, I was so fucked up. And I knew my name was on a piece of paper in that room somewhere. Because she wrote it down to go to the Clive Davis party. She's like, come to this party tonight. I'll write your name down. So she wrote down Brittany Schmidt on a piece of paper. And I'm like, thank God that room was such a mess. They probably didn't even find it. But like...

So then after that, this guy gets fucking crazy, like shows up in my house, like to try to like extort me, started asking me for money. He's like, I need a tattoo to commemorate Auntie Whitney. And I was like,

Don't have money like I don't know why you think I have money But then it became very clear he like didn't have money and he was like this weird kind of celebrity Yeah, like playing her on guy and he started calling me like fucking crazy showing up at my house I had to block his number I had to move to a different fucking apartment because he showed up at my house so many times and then I blocked him on Instagram I blocked him everywhere and then I was with this other guy that I dated right before I started dating Chris and

And this, we're at a strip club and the waitress at the strip, it's an empty strip club. Like I thought we were the only people in there. The waitress comes up to me, she's like, "Are you Brittany Schmidt?" And I was like, "That is not something you wanna be asked at a strip club." - Yeah. Are you eating your proper amount of veggies and fruits? I'm guessing not.

Probably not. You know, field of greens is the best ever since it's come into my life. It's the most hassle-free thing. I just take one scoop every morning. I drink it with my protein powder and then I've had all my fruit and veggies for the day. It's amazing. It's helped with energy. I just feel better overall because I don't have to worry. I'm like, did I eat a radish? It's like, it doesn't fucking matter. You're good. You had field of greens.

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vegetables and fruits have a lower cancer risk. So that's also a really cool thing about Field of Greens. Also, if you try Field of Greens and you do not like it, there is a money back guarantee, satisfaction guarantee. So we love that. If you head to fieldofgreens.com and put in the code BODYGREENS,

B-R-I-T-T, you are going to get 15% off your first Field of Greens order. So that is fieldofgreens.com with promo code BRIT, B-R-I-T-T, for 15% off to get your nutritional supplement to help you live your best life. Feel better, look better, Field of Greens, baby girls. We love you. And she's like, that guy over there wants to talk to you. And I turned and it was him. And I was like, no.

And I was so scared. And the guy I was dating at the time was like, let's just leave. He's like, I've never seen you get this scared. I'm like, we need to get the fuck out of here. So like, to my knowledge, this guy is still alive, but he was just like this weird fucking crazy clinger on piece of shit. And then that girl, Andrea, like, we're not really good friends anymore. We're not friends anymore, really. But she'll text me.

Pretty much every year being like, I still fucking can't believe this happened. And I'm like... And where are you thinking? How many years ago was this? It was a long time ago. It was 2012. 2012, yeah. And that guy hasn't tried to contact you since, huh? On social media or anything? Well, I don't know because I'm... He's blocked on everything. Right, right, right. Well, I mean, after this. Yeah. Yeah, he was so fucking scary. So scary. And then that whole time, like, it was crazy because I remember the press was trying to, like, piece things together. Yeah. And I was reading stuff and I was like, it's crazy because...

I knew what happened. Like, they were like... She came into your room fucked up. Fucked up. Fucked up. But the thing is, like, they were like, you know, the hotel's reporting that there was an incident the night before with the bathtub. They don't... They're not sure if it's Whitney or somebody else. And I knew it was Bobby Christina because Whitney came in screaming at Nick, being like, I pulled her out of the tub and I saved her life. And, like, it's so fucking crazy that then 10 hours... Not even 10 hours later, it's fucking six hours later, she's dead in the same tub. I'm like...

So it was a drowning, right? Accidental drowning because she did drugs or just OD'd. I think it was a lot of things. I mean, like, the look in her eyes was... She was crazed, huh? It wasn't even crazed. It was just gone. It was just, like, the fucking thousand-mile stare, the nothingness that is inside the attic at the end of the rope. Like, it just... It was just devastating. And, you know...

I don't even know if I would have known who she was if she was in full glam and looked great and wasn't on drugs. Because like I said, I didn't grow up with TV. So I didn't really know what Whitney Houston looked like. If she started singing, I would know who she was. But like, I just, it was just so sad to see her like that. And then when I woke up,

to the news of her dying, my friend was like, you can't say that you were with her. And I'm like, no, I would never. Why would I want to? Also, I have no information. I have no value add to this other than being like... Her coming into a room and asking you for weed. Right. That's so crazy, Brittany, that you're one of the last people that saw Whitney Houston before she died. I know. Like, that is wild. I know. You never told me that. I know. That is insane. It's because it's one of those stories that like...

you can tell I don't tell it a lot because of the way I got like so like well that's traumatic yeah I mean just meeting anyone and then finding out like they die minutes later they're dead yeah a few hours later that's so shocking yeah it was really it was crazy too because it's global news you know it was like the biggest news and then I was just like

You're like, I literally was just sitting there smoking with her. Yeah. I'm really surprised the detectives didn't try to find you because usually when there is something like this, they kind of scour the whole room to try to put pieces together. But maybe when they did the toxicology, they found out it was just an overdose and like, what are you going to do? You know, people overdose when they're drug users. You know, sadly, it's sad. Yeah, I remember too being so scared just because it is like, it's the Beverly Hills Hilton. Like, they have cameras everywhere. I'm like, they...

we were by the pool all night we were then by the room which is under her name you know what i mean like all of it you stayed overnight in a room under her name yeah and the room was adjoining right to her room right and so she was friends with that guy she nick gordon was her adopted son okay and then you're the guy that you were dating was friends with him yeah another clinger on to like what a crazy story brit oh

Girl, you didn't even write this in your book or anything? I did. Oh, you did? Nobody read my book. Wow. Nobody read my book. Well, if you wrote it in your book, you can definitely share it. Guys, read Brittany's book. Yeah, they would say, I spilled a lot of tea in that book. Guys, what's the name of your book again? Stop Talking About Sex, another advice I didn't take. But I think I'm going to pull it. I don't think I'm going to keep it up. I think it is actually too incriminating. Your book? Yeah, I think so. Okay, never mind. Don't buy the book. I think there's a lot of stuff in there. Or try to buy it before it gets taken down.

Did you publish independently? Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. It's easy. Wow, that's heavy. Yeah, that was heavy. How are we going to even get into high school worse right now? This is such a random like... Speaking of like weird, this should have been like dating worse, but have you watched Baby Reindeer? Oh my God, I think it's the best TV series

series limited series ever written it's seriously like just one of those shows that you start and you're just gonna watch the whole thing like so make sure you dedicate like eight hours to an absolute binge of a watch binge and binge it was just oh it was so good and it covered so many really hard topics yeah like i mean talk about it's covering stalking yep

rape yep comedy drugs drugs the business the business gayness in the business gayness in the business dating sexual confusion yeah all of it i mean it covered fucking everything the fact that this happened to the actual guy what's his name josh gad the thing that the fact that this happened to him and he's an

Like, it's his story, but he's also, like, an incredible actor. So good. Like, a very, very talented actor. So good.

so fucking good. I mean, a compelling actor and it's his own story and it's just like, wow. I mean, I guess no one can play you better than you, right? It's like he's just reliving it. I mean, that must have been hard too, but if you guys haven't watched it yet, it is one hell of a watch. There's a line in there that made me cry so hard I had to stop and do laps around my house. Wait a minute. Can I show you? I screenshotted something and you tell me if it's the line because I was going to post it on my

Paige, is it this one? No. Okay, which one is it? But that's a good one. It's when he has his breakdown on stage and he's talking about how he lost that relationship and he's just like, I lost that relationship because the only thing I loved more than her was hating myself. I mean with that, I say that stuck to my bones and tore my soul apart. I was like, I have never related to a line more in my entire life.

And it made me so fucking deeply sad that so many people do that. Like we sabotage good things because we don't think we deserve the love that we're receiving. And then when everything is fucking blown to pieces because we did it, we're like, that makes more sense. It's so true, Brittany. And I do this in my own relationship because, you know, Tommy's like the first guy that is like,

always texting me, loving on me, like communicative, whatever, like fighting for me.

And just growing up in a crazy household, we can't – it's so hard to adjust to. You find things to be mad at? Or you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. And that just like waiting. Okay, what's the catch? You know what I mean? And then you're looking for things. It sucks. And I find myself doing that. And I go to therapy about it because I'm like –

is what you're saying, it's self-sabotage. Because I'm like finally with someone who really cares about me, he's successful, he's got his shit together, he's healthy now.

and what am i doing like i am yeah you find a little thing looking for holes you know what i mean but i did that too brit like i know you didn't know me during my marriage but in the beginning i would obsess about his ex-wife yeah and if it wasn't his ex-wife it was somebody some girl at work that liked him a little too much yeah or like you know all these girls would like him and he was like oblivious to it and he didn't care because he was so loyal and i'd be like she and that's how tommy is he's like what like he's so like

Which, by the way, can I say I wouldn't last a day in your shoes? It's a nightmare. I've been exposed to it now enough that I can say I'm thoroughly like every time I'm around him, I want to like unzip my skin and walk out of it. Yeah. Because girls don't give a fuck about you. No.

No offense. No, I know. None of them do. But like they don't care about you and they'll go around you and they don't care if you're in the middle of a conversation with him. They'll have somebody else pull him out of the conversation to introduce them. This just happened at a fucking party the other day. And I was like, how fucking disrespectful are these women? Yeah, they don't give a shit. None of them do. But then I also have to applaud him because he's so kind and he's so aloof. Yeah.

That has probably saved him. He literally is like, what? Yeah, he's like, what? Who is that? Like, people could be, like, pining for him. Well, that girl, I mean, walked right up to him, wanted attention. He was in the middle of a conversation, so she didn't give it to him. Yeah. And then she got somebody else to pull him out of the conversation, introduce her, and he's like, okay. Then it came back to the conversation. He's like, who's that? Yeah, he doesn't feed into it.

All of the ploys that I'm not going to talk about who, but people have done to try to pull him back. Yeah. He hasn't fallen for any of it. Well, that's the other thing too. It's like, aside from all the strangers that are fucking, I mean, hot on his dick, then there's the fucking...

The exes that still love him. I don't know if we can say that but I mean like it's just Exhausting I just see it peripherally and I'm tired. Yeah, because - I'm you really see it now being my friend You're around and you see all the all about goes on behind the scenes. I can't talk about yeah, it's absolutely and I'm just like

And people wonder like when I like freak out or make like a TikTok or something, people give me so much heat. But like if they really knew. You're responding to one one thousand. They would be like, oh, this is like not even compared to what I could the way I could respond. But I don't. Yeah. It's crazy, man. Anyway, I don't know how we got here. Baby reindeer. Yeah, baby reindeer. Anyway, so yeah, like.

Like you're saying the thing hating yourself is like it's so hard and I'm still working on growing. You're just so accustomed to being in chaos that it's so hard to like calm down and like just enjoy life. Yeah, I think I created chaos for like the first two years of my marriage. And then when I couldn't create it anymore, I had like a really peaceful year. Like during the pandemic, I was like meditating and writing. I wrote my book. I wrote books.

I just was like truly content. And then right when the world started opening up again, I just was like time to create chaos again. It's a hard pattern to break. It's really hard and it's really hard getting out of something and then realizing what you did.

Yeah, I do a lot of work on myself and do a lot of therapy to try not to like feed into my beliefs of what certain things should be like because of what I was, you know what I mean? Like just getting used to like a calm, peaceful life is...

it's a lifetime of work. It's foreign. Yeah. It's foreign. Yeah. It's so foreign to me. So it's pretty wild, you know? Okay. Speaking of not peaceful things, we're talking about high school worse today. Speaking of trauma. Yeah. Speaking of trauma with a capital T. Where did all your trauma start? You, you had,

bullied in high school too. We were both bullied the shit out of. I mean horribly. I literally somebody from high school when I posted that this was our worst DM'd me and was like oh I'll be tuning into this. Oh yeah. And I was like it's gonna be three hours long and it's just gonna be me talking about mine and he was like that'll be the truncated version. Ugh.

It was so bad that when I started opening this floodgate of even trying to think about it, I've been having nightmares every single night about the bullies in my school. They still live so deeply in my subconscious. Me too. It's such a formative time in life. It sticks with you. And it really, whether or not you move on or have a better life or whatever, it really dictates how you think about yourself forever. I just...

Don't even know if I can properly articulate how fucking insane it was and I'm not a victim of my past I don't I made me stronger and I really truly believe it got me ready for this career Because as a comedian you get so much hate so as a female comedian you get like triple the hate and you get trolled within an inch of your life and I'm like, okay, the online bullies are bad, but I'm like I had people

in high school to my face bully me in a way that was like incomprehensible. So I basically somehow made every...

I wasn't sleeping with guys at my school because they were fucking meatheads and they were losers and they were mean to me. So I was not sleeping with them. So I started going to other schools. And then this thing happened where all the other schools then started hating me too because I started tapping their guys. And I was like, sorry. But we were at a hockey game. I mean, this one's crazy. I don't know if it's the craziest, but it's pretty crazy. So we were at a hockey game. Well, what preceded this was there was a group made called the Classic 8 Slut. The Classic 8 was my school district.

This might have been the first Facebook group ever. It's like a pioneer. The Classic 8 Slut. And all these people started joining in. I was like, oh, what's this group? It like popped up as recommended. And it was a group about me and all of these girls talking about how much they hate me. The Classic 8 Slut was you? Yeah.

And then these guys were in it too. And I remember the craziest thing. There was like guys in there that I fucked. There was guys in there that I had slept with. They were like, yeah, she's a total hoe. I'm like, you're trying to act like we didn't sleep. Oh my gosh. I'm dead. So anyway, there's hate circulating. And we go to a hockey game and we're playing against this other school called Catholic Memorial. And they start cheering. The whole section starts cheering, Brittany Schmidt, yeast infection. I'm sorry. That's really funny.

need a fucking rhyme i know and the stands on our side why couldn't they have britney schmidt eat some shit like yeast infection like you guys are stupid you guys are so dumb but our my school who also didn't like me they're like what are they saying like yeah and then they're like britney schmidt clap clap clap you can have her no they didn't and you're just sitting there walked out of the game

I was like, this isn't good. Whole teams were talking, cheering about it. Both schools were cheering about how much they hated it. And I thought getting some fucking shit scribbled on some books was bad. My lord. I just went the parking lot. They had a pepper

pep rally about how much they hated me there was a mascot dressed up like me with a big open pussy I went out the parking lot and my friend Carson who I'm still friends with Carson Pope shout out every time I go to New York I see him we're in he went to the school that started the chant and I was like that was brutal and he was like yeah he's like smoking a bowl he's like here he's like taking the edge off and then I remember after the game so I had a few friends at my school at the time they weren't like good friends but we were like volleyball friends because we played volleyball together yeah

And then afterwards, I remember the girl, her name was Jessie from my school. She finds the little girl at the other school. Her name was Nettie. And she throws her into a fucking table. She's like, if anyone's going to bully her, it's going to be us. They were fighting over who gets to bully you? What the fuck? I was like, I can't. This was in Wisconsin? Yes, it turned into a fucking...

You guys were fucking bored as shit over there. I was sitting there like, man, good thing I didn't even realize suicide was an option. I didn't even realize I could fucking clock out because I probably would have. It was pretty brutal. But I'm like, I guess I'm going to have to fuck all your boyfriends to get even. Yes.

To get even, don't make me. Don't make me. Don't make me. Because that's what they were all mad about. Girls at my school, girls at other schools, they were always mad because their boyfriends had a crush on me. I'm like, I wouldn't fuck them with your pussy. So that's how it started at my school. Perfect segue. Go ahead. So all the girls at my school, when I got into seventh and eighth grade, when we were with the older kids, all their... I'm going to sneeze. Bless you. That's like a fake cartoon sneeze. I'm going to sneeze. I can't.

I'm gonna sneeze. I don't know why I got bullied. I don't know why I got bullied. I'm gonna sneeze. I'm gonna sneeze like a grown man.

Anyway, I don't know why they didn't like me. Anyway, no, but literally it was so weird. As soon as I got in seventh and eighth grade with the older boys, they all liked me. Did you have knockers? They started to develop my knockers. This was like after the picture that I posted with the lampshade hair. I got my hair fixed. I started growing titties. My titties were getting big and I was skinny.

So it started with one of them liked me and their girlfriend got mad about it. And so he started to bully me to make her think that he didn't like me. So he called me plastic face because apparently, even though I'd never done anything to my face, I was literally in seventh grade. They thought I looked like I had plastic surgery because I was pretty compliment compliment. So they all start calling me plastic face. And I was like, what's plastic face? And like, they were like, it's you.

And I'm like, why am I plastic-faced? Because you had plastic surgery. And I'm like, I'm in seventh grade, and my parents are fucking...

Like where did I get plastic surgery? And then they thought it was like my tits were fake. They would say that I got breast implants. They started spreading all these rumors about me. And I was like, wow, like this is crazy. Like I, and all because these guys like liked me. Yeah. And then these guys would call me. That's the root of all the problems. Yeah. The guys. And then the girls don't like that the guys like you. And so then I had no friends except for Nadina Pepper. Who's like the one that stuck up for me. Um,

Mine was Kate Eschenberg, by the way. I want to put that on the record. I had one girlfriend. Yeah, we always had one girlfriend. And they all liked her a lot. And the weird thing was is that they would just bully the shit out of me. Like I was just telling you, you know, like one time there was this guy who I thought was really hot and they left a note in my locker from him.

from him a fake note going you know um I'll call him Bobby they were like Bobby wants to meet you or it's like he's like Bobby meet me in the um the hallway of you know this corridor after class like the last class and he's like I want to kiss you and put his name and I was like oh fuck like that's crazy because I had such a crush on this guy and like we would talk and stuff like so I thought

So at the end of the last period, I walk around to the corridor and he's standing there and he's standing there. I'm like, oh, hey. And he's like, you really thought I wanted to kiss you? Plastic face. And then all the girls were like, yeah, yeah. And I was just like, so fucking mean. Wow. And then, um,

Yeah, I just didn't have like really boyfriend. I mean, I kind of dated people, but not really because then they would just like, it was just sad. And then like they would just like scribble on my book. Like if I left my books somewhere in class or like in the cafeteria, they would like draw on them plastic face. They would call me like Jew fro even though I'm not even Jewish because I just had curly hair like big nose bitch like just crazy shit. Like it was just crazy. And I'm like, I never did anything like that.

anything i didn't even kiss these guys like i know and that was what made me angry and that's i think part of the reason why i became snapped and became a hoe yeah because you're like oh you're gonna accuse me of it fine i will fuck all your dudes i'm like you're gonna i literally got called a slut from the time i was in sixth grade until i became a slut yeah you're like i never even was a slut like i hadn't even kissed anybody i didn't like i just was like

I don't know, it was so devastating, but I will say one of the lessons I learned. So that CES group was run by this guy named Dan. And I remember I saw it and my mom made like a huge deal out of it. She's like, this is bullying. Like you're, this is not okay. And she was right. But it was like the same thing where my mom just didn't deliver the message. Right. Like she's like, I'm gonna go fucking kick their asses. And I'm like, no, you need to stay home.

But she's like, you need to go talk to him then. And I was like, you know what? She's fucking right. I was like, I need to confirm because I hid. I was so scared. Like, I just wanted everybody to like me. And I was so scared. And I remember I was like, fuck this. I'm fucking done. Yeah. And I went up to Dan's locker was right across from mine. So me and Kate shared a locker and I went to Dan and I was like, classic eight slut, huh? Because he put on there. I want to curb stomp this bitch under his profile. Like, and I was like,

let's go, Dan. Fucking curb stop me. I was like, take me outside. There's a fucking curb. Let's go. And he was hiding in his locker. And I was like, no, I was like, you're a big bad guy on the fucking internet, but now you're just a fucking coward. Yeah. I was like, fucking hit me. Do what you say you want to do. And he just, he's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And I was like, you are a fucking pussy. Yeah. And everybody was watching and they're like,

oh, and it was literally the day I grew my fucking spine. And I was like, I'm fucking done with all of you. I was like, I don't fucking care what any of you think of me. I was like, I can't wait to get out of this school. You just like small minded, miserable little fucks. And you're wondering why I'm not

sleeping with any of you guys you're the fucking worst yeah it's so wild they really do like I mean they tortured me like tortured like the girls would never invite me to any of the sleepovers like Nadine would get invited because they liked her so would Kate and then I couldn't go because they were like sorry Brittany you can't come

Oh my God, this just triggered. I have to stop talking about it because I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life. But one other thing. So Kate was throwing prom pictures. And right before prom pictures happened, I got invited to like one party and we took pictures on like a camera and printed them out.

And then they like got found in the school and they got traced back to me that it was my camera and whatever. So everybody was mad at me. And Kate was having prom pictures. And then this other girl, Megan Curtin, fuck that bitch. She was like, actually, I'm having prom pictures now and Britney's not invited. And Kate.

Bless her fucking socks. It was like, actually, no. Oh, no. She was like, actually, no, it's still happening at mine. You're not fucking doing this. This is wrong. And Brittany's coming. But I went and nobody would take pictures with me. And I was just like, this is...

I don't even know what possesses people to be so cruel. And then once it's like a few people start being mean to you, they think it's cool. And then it becomes like this massive like mob mentality. They just gang up on you. And then they get like high off of it. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh. They would literally have giant sleepovers with all the girls. Yeah. And they would purposely not invite me. And then one time they did invite me and they were just fucking doing shitty shit to me the whole time.

I can't. I can't with these little bitches. But I got my revenge. How? Oh, by your life now? Well, my life. Also, like, at one of the sleepovers. Oh, what'd you do? They were all downstairs and they were, like, making my life a living hell. They were just, like, mean to me. You know what I mean? Like, oh, like, Brittany wouldn't get that. Or, like, or if I would tell a joke, they would just be like, you know what I mean? Like, you just couldn't do anything to make them happy. And so when I went into the bathroom, I took all their toothbrushes and I scrubbed my toes with them. Oh, my God.

oh that's so gangster later i was just like you guys are having my toes in your teeth you little fucking bitches yeah i should have done wait actually did i ever tell you that like at the end of senior year the ones that bullied me the most these two girls wrote me letters apologizing to me i was like now the last day

That's nice. At least you got one. We just wanted you to know that like... We didn't mean it. We don't think you're like a bad person. We just were like... Bored. I don't even remember what the letter said, but it was something like, you're actually like really cool and really nice. Sorry I couldn't act like I liked you. That's the crazy thing too is certain girls would like you or me too. Yeah. And then like they'd be with another girl who didn't like you. And so I would say hi in the hall and Courtney would be like, you're not allowed to say hi to her.

Then Jenny would be like, okay. And I'm like, oh my God, you fucking cunts. It was so wild, wasn't it? Man, I would just eat alone and like or with Nadine in like the teacher's room. Same. I would have to leave the cafeteria because I wasn't allowed to sit at the tables with them. Yeah. And I was like the class clown. Like even though these girls didn't like me, I still like made jokes in class and like made people laugh and stuff, you know, but like no one was my friend really. Yeah.

Yeah. Dude, fuck. Well, listen, we made it out alive. Barely. By the skin of our fucking teeth. This is an intense fucking episode. If everything stays in this episode, people are going to have. People are going to be like, what the fuck? This is a trigger warning episode. Guys, we've been through it. Me and Brit Brit's over here. Yeah, that's why we're so close. That's why we love you guys. So we'll start with your worst high school stories. So do you want to start or do you want me to start? Yeah, I can start. Okay. So worst high school story. In 11th grade, we had a party at my best friend's house with only a couple of friends.

One girl there decided she was going to try and show off in front of the guys and started drinking like crazy. That was me. Um...

She got so drunk that she went and locked herself in the bathroom. Once we got in there, she had thrown up and shit herself. This isn't me. Never mind. She took her clothes off and had rolled all around in the bathroom, getting shit everywhere. All over the walls. Not rolling in it. Not rolling in the shit. All over the walls, the bath rugs, the shower curtain. Everywhere. We tried to tell her she needed to call her mom and come pick her up. By this time, everyone at the party was starting to smell the shit coming from the hallway. What?

What a bitch.

Oh, my God. Well, she deserved that for trying to pin that shit on. Yeah. Pin that shit literally on somebody else. Don't you do that. That's not cool, man. That's lame. Oh, my God. Not rolling in it, though. That's pretty gnarly. That's also like, I know you're a kid, but like learn. You got to learn quick how to handle your fucking liquor. Yeah. I didn't drink at all. I was such a like. And that's another thing. All these kids would like they were like sucking dick and partying and having sex at 15. I didn't lose my virginity till I was 18. I was so scared.

Yeah, I was the one sucking dick. I was kind of like a, you were the one sucking dick. I was kind of a, what is it? Prude. Prude and like a, like. You were scared. Scared and I didn't like want to disappoint my dad. So I didn't like do drugs or a drink or smoke weed or anything till later in life. I think I would have disappointed my dad if I didn't drink.

Your dad's like, you pussy? Yeah. He's like, no wonder you don't have friends. You freaking nerd. He's like, I didn't raise a fucking dork. Yeah, your dad just bullies you too. You're like, really? Everywhere? At school and at home? I can't. Okay, my high school boyfriend and I were two horny teens. What else is new? And he was my first handful of things. We used to meet up in between classes and hook up. And by hook up, I mean blowjobs by the water fountain in the once secluded hallway or behind the vending machines. Y'all are freaky.

you get the gist one day we agreed to meet during last period and ended up in the boys locker room he locked the door behind him and pulled out a mini bottle of baby oil what's that for I asked and he said I want to

put it in your ass oh my god don't forget he was my first handful of things more like fucking buttful um unbeknownst to me what anal was gonna be like i thought nothing of it and said why not baby oil in hand a minute goes by and i'm up against a wall and beyond uncomfortable he pulls out doesn't say anything and all of a sudden i get hit with the smell of shit

There was shit all over his dick. The entire fucking locker room smelled like shit. He went to rinse it off and I stood there, clueless as fuck, pulling my pants up, probably said, well, see you later, and left the changing room. We stayed together four years after that, laughing my ass off. Well, at least he still loved you. I mean, you gotta kind of expect that to happen. Especially if you don't prep. I did it one time and no shit came out, but I...

never will do it i don't like it i don't think that's right to do that well not right but i mean like it's not comfy for me yeah it's not comfy for me either it's not a vibe yeah yeah so whoa dude we love an anal queen okay not the loophole poophole um or poophole loophole whatever the mormons call it they're like you're not losing your virginity it's just anal

-So many Mormons getting it, taking it up. -I can't for it. -Anyway, I went to a super small school, think 70 in a graduating class, if they all made it. I was about 14 and stupid, so I sent nudes to my crush. A couple of weeks later, I found out he sent them to everyone. I mean, every guy at our school and all of the schools around us.

Soon people were yelling at me in the halls and on buses that rode by that I was a whore when I was actually a virgin. A group of guys thought it would be funny to throw water bottles at me over it in the cafeteria. Even his older cousins who were sleeping with half of the school cornered me into the locker room before gym class to tell me how disgusting and slutty I was. My life was over or at least it felt like it. I never told my parents and just went home

Girl, I bet you looked great in those nudes. First of all, I bet you looked great. And here's the thing about high school. It's fucking impossible because you can't win. You're either a prude or you're a slut.

There's no middle ground. They label you one or the other. There's no middle ground. And sometimes you're a slut when you haven't even done anything, which is the crazy thing. Well, that's what we said. Like, people call you a slut because they are mad you're getting attention or you're hot or whatever. Yeah, they get fucking pissed. Yeah, and then you're a whore. It's like, okay. It's so stupid. You just fucking can't win. But honestly, I'm sure you looked great in those nudes. Yeah, girl. And also, I mean, like, now that would be revenge porn. You could fucking sue somebody for that. Oh, yeah. It's like, thank God the laws on that actually really...

What's it called? Not matured, but they... They stick. Yeah, they stick. They shaped the laws around revenge porn very quickly and very effectively. And I don't know what the cornerstone case was that made that happen. There has to be one, though. I think there was. I think it was something with a young girl. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway...

Senior year of high school, a group of 25 to us went to Ocean, I think OCMD is Ocean City, Maryland for senior week. I used to go there. The first day there, my best friend found out my boyfriend of two years had been sexting my friend, let's call her Amy. And she was like,

Amy and my boyfriend had been sexting over Instagram DMs and then moved to Snapchat. A girl in our friend group who I was rooming with in college had been logged into Amy's Instagram and was getting notifications. She took screenshots and started to spread the word. This was back in April. Senior week was in June. I was oblivious to the entire situation until my friend told me.

I was pissed and went and talked more like yelled to my boyfriend who was on the beach while everyone was there. He insisted he didn't know what I was talking about. So I walked a block back to our house with him to go confront Amy. Maybe she would be honest.

She sat there and played dumb as well. After this, she left the house with a group of girls. While they were gone, I made my boyfriend call his mom and tell her what he did and opened a bunch of condoms and put them all over her things and wiped my hands in her pillow. Needless to say, senior week was the worst time of my life.

The only thing that could make high school worse was social media. And I'm so glad Instagram wasn't around when I was in high school. Yeah. It's just people are like so sneaky. Instagram is gnarly. Wait, I didn't get that last part. He said...

She says, while they were gone, I made my boyfriend call his mom and tell her what he did and opened a bunch of condoms and put them all in her things. Oh, wipe my hands. Yeah, she vandalized Amy's shit. She did the toothbrush trick. Oh, yeah, the Britney Furlan toothbrush. Yeah, that's pretty wild. Yeah, guys, basically, like, high school was a nightmare for me. Anyone that says they had a good high school, I'm like, wow, couldn't relate less. Yeah, I just feel like

Bullying just keeps morphing. It's morphing, but I also do feel like it's lessening because I do see like this new generation is very like kind. Like these woke culture generation, they're actually like very sweet and... And they're being parented well. They're being parented better and they're being parented by more woke people and not to like love woke culture because I don't like love it, but like there's the kindness part of it I love. You know what I mean? I think too like our...

Like our generation, like our peers who are becoming parents are just – we've been through shit. And I think we've like also gone to therapy and we've dealt with it. Like I think our parents' generation, we just like drank – they drank through it and like shut the fuck up and they didn't do anything. I feel like people like take – Are feeling stuff now. Yeah. And hopefully we're getting smarter. I think we are. And I think the more intelligent you are, you realize that like –

all this hate and bullying is all rooted in your own insecurity. It has nothing to do with the other person. - 100%. - It's a projection of what you feel about yourself. - And I wish, I mean truly, I wish fucking we knew that as kids. I wish we could have understood that when we were younger, that none of that was about us. - Even with myself, when I react to stuff sometimes,

that I don't want to react to. I mean, I get pushed really far that people don't fucking realize how far I get pushed and I'm not mentally great. So I sometimes react to things in the ways I shouldn't, you know? I think almost best reaction at any time is no reaction. Like if you just let it fucking-

die you know yeah but people do push you people do push you to a point where they keep fucking poking the bear poke poke poke poke poke and some people will like not stop until you do something that's what i'm saying there's no reaction to a point like i feel like it's like me with the fucking bullies in high school where i was like i just let myself get bullied and i was like i just so badly wanted for them to accept me that i was like sure whatever you say about me must be true like whatever whatever and then when i finally like grew a fucking spine and i'm like no fuck you

Yeah. And fuck this. That's when they like cower down a little bit because they're like, oh, fuck. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes you have to stick up for yourself. Like, I mean, I can't even give an example because I don't I can't say it. But like I've been pushed, pushed, pushed, pushed, pushed by certain things in my personal life. And then.

finally fucking you know what I mean and then they're like oh okay we won't keep pushing you know so it's like it is what it is but should we wrap this up yeah let's do bad vice you guys I'm so sorry for everything that's happened to you guys too we can all hang out together all of us that were bullied in high school this will be like our little it'll be our little worsties tour when we go on tour worsties we got bullied tour yeah

I love it. Okay, so bad advice. Is it my turn or yours? I can't even, my brain's mush. I can't remember. I think it's your turn, Brad. Okay. I'm needing a bit of advice for what to do with my mom. We've had a rocky relationship for the past 10 years now, ever since my dad and her got divorced, and she's always been super secretive and private about her life before she had my sister and I. Once

Once we got older, my sister and I were told by our uncle that our mom got into a bit of trouble back in the day, but she always said she'd tell us when we were older or old enough to understand. Well, my sister and I got the idea to look up her files to see any public records that we could find of her. A bit fucked up, I know.

This was a complete shock because she never went on to marry my dad and has claimed to have never been married before.

Little background, my parents were never married, but since they'd been together for 18 years, they were married by law, so they had to get divorced when breaking up. Nightmare. Okay. There was another file of my mom and this other guy getting divorced and then having to prove to the court whose kid my sister was between him and my dad. It turned out to be my dad, but this meant my dad was the mistress of the relationship, according to the timeline of the files.

Whoa. My sister and I are in a bit of shock to learn about all of this and not sure whether to leave it in the past or bring it up. I think visiting the past could help my mom and I's relationship, but I'm nervous about it exploding and my sister getting hit by some of the repercussions. What would you do in this situation? Oh, boy. I mean, it depends on how old you guys are now. Like...

If you can do your own personal healing without, like, dragging everyone into it, I always say that that's, like, the best thing, you know? Because sometimes you're never going to be able to get the response that you need from other people. So it's almost better to just heal yourself. 100%. And I think you can go into it even if you come from a place of, like, compassionate love and forgiveness and wanting to understand. Some people are just so...

adamant at ignoring the things they've done in the past that could be perceived as wrong yeah um and they try and like you know i don't know i think when we do bad bad stuff we try and dissociate from it where we're like i don't identify with the person who did that even though that's me you know what i mean a lot of time your parents will do that too like when you tell your parents now that they're grown up like remember when you did this like no i don't know who that was i'm like

Yeah. And it's so traumatic to you. One of my favorite proverbs is this African proverb and it says, the ax forgets but the tree remembers. I am definitely the tree.

i'm too we're just two trees dude no wonder tommy likes me i'm a tree i'm a tweet i'm a tweet um no but i would say it depends on your relationship if you're with your mom if it's distant now that could make it go away completely so as somebody who's lost their mom i i think trying to keep whatever relationship you have with your mom

I don't know. I think no matter what, like if you have some semblance of a good relationship with your mom, this is what I'm trying to say. You try to nurture that to the best degree that you can and have maintain a relationship. But, you know, if you already don't have a good relationship with her, I would say just self-healing because you're never going to get the response that you want from your parents. I mean, a lot of the times when parents do things that are unfortunate to us when we're younger, they live in denial about it. A lot of the time, it's hardly ever the parent comes forward and says, I'm really sorry I did that to you just because

Because, you know, like you said, they don't recall it or remember it the same way. Yeah. I mean, our parents have a life before we were born. And I know we don't think that because we've been in their lives every single day of our lives. But, like, they have a whole life. They have a bunch of experiences as well that shaped them into who they are and why they did that. Not to make excuses. Yeah, no. It's just you got to kind of with these situations, you got to just...

If you must release with love. Guys that you. Happy news. Yeah. You guys wrote in and said thank you so much to both of you for bringing such joy and laughter to the workday. I probably look and sound like a psychopath giggling to myself at my desk. And thank you to Brittany Schmidt for making me feel OK about severing my relationship with my horrible toxic alcoholic partner.

critical mother. I've always felt so guilty, but you are a hundred percent correct. I need to protect my peace and my daughter's peace. Third, thanks to Furlan for being open about your painful periods. Since I have my, since I've been in my late thirties, I've had terrible, painful, brutal, heavy periods. And I'm now seeking to understand if it's related to endometriosis. Oh man, girl, I hope you get some answers. I mean, you can get the laparoscopy or if your endo is that bad, they might be able to see it on an MRI or ultrasound. Um,

And yeah, you just got to protect your peace. That's like the end of the day. Protect your peace. In summarization, you guys got to love yourself and put yourself. This is your life. You should only allow in your life peaceful things and things that elevate your life, you know, and I know we have sympathy and things for those around us, but you come first. Sorry. We hope you guys

enjoyed the high school worst episode this was kind of a heavy one but a lot of fun nonetheless be sure to like subscribe follow share all that cool shit we have new episodes every Wednesday don't forget to DM us or write in for your worst experiences and ask us for our bad advice at just media or this is the worst pod at just media house calm once again that's this is the worst pod at just media house calm we will see you guys next Wednesday where it's easy love you we love you guys and hugs to all of you bye

Thank you guys for listening to This Is The Worst podcast powered by Just Media House. This Is The Worst is hosted and executive produced by Brittany Furlan Lee and Brittany Schmidt. If you enjoyed our show, don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, rate, and review. Stay connected with us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Snapchat at This Is The Worst Pod. Studio provided by Second Floor Studios, podcast and social artwork produced by the Forward Digital and Product Limited.

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