178: #178 Mythical Creatures Pt. 2
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who trust Progressive, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. Hello, folks, and hey, bear. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber.

Dusty Slate. All right. Welcome. Thank you. Everybody's here. We thought you would be late, but you made it. I made it. Yeah. I drove 45 in a 35 mile an hour zone, and I thought, I'm going to get in trouble. Yeah. That's a school zone, too, right around here. Well, I was on a different road, but I saw a budget truck got pulled over, and I thought, you know what? I'm going to get picked up here. You use a lot of different roads.

Well, yeah, I do. I do. Yeah. I think my Google Maps is programmed weird. I find myself on all the wrong roads. Yeah. I mean, it's the right road, but I'm like, did we need to be on this road? It's just gotten to know you a little bit. Yeah. And it just knows this guy doesn't want to be on the main stuff. Yeah. They're like, there might be some leaves on the side of the road. Yeah. We're going to take you near the leaves. Yeah.

Yeah, I could see that. I figured you just went a different path every time to keep them from tracing it. Well, yeah, but they're all tracking us now no matter what. Yeah. There's no getting away from it. Get an old delivery. Thank you. Coffee. We're doing this at 5 a.m. Yeah, this is great. I think my voice is getting beat up.

Uh, Oh yeah. Or just mind, I think to cough away from the mic. What's that? My, you just go, she just goes, yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna, I'm my own functioning man. Sometimes I don't know how to do anything. Uh,

Yeah. Yeah, my voice just got bad. It's not bad. It's just, you know, we've done a lot of shows. A lot of shows. A lot of crazy. I got my Georgia Tech Go Jackets. All right. I'm happy to find out that's what that means. Yeah.

Cause you were getting go jackets yelled. Yeah. Cause John Chris was on here when you guys did go jackets and I didn't know what that was. And people would say go jackets to me. And I'm like, you know that I wasn't on that episode. Yeah. We got a, uh, uh, we got a picture of, uh, signed next to go jackets. I think I have all this. I was like, Oh, we'll show this. And then I didn't do anything with it. Uh, but,

We went to, we got to go tour the golf facility, met the golf team. They have like their golf thing right in the middle. It's like really in the middle of downtown Atlanta. They have like 14 acres and it's just, there's a little par three and it's their own practice facility and stuff. Probably simulators and stuff in there too. Simulators. Yeah. They can't drive her and it goes crazy.

It's like 360, they said. Wow. Which is, I mean, these guys can hit it that far. But the whole thing was, they were very, very cool. We saw the football stadium, saw the locker rooms, and they did really nice. And she gave us a big tour. It was hopefully meeting Chris Winkie.

Which would have been fun. Yeah. He's coaching there. And then, uh, yeah. And, uh, it's about my age. Yeah. Is he, he's not that old. No, he was like 32. What do you want to use a quarterback or something like that? Yeah.

I don't think he's going to like that. Sorry, Chris. Yeah, Chris could have went two ways, but could have went that way, could have went your way. But it's, yeah, so, but they were having like recruiting or something. Like it was like recruiting meetings. So when they hit it up and get it out to me in time, it would have been fun. When you were talking about hitting the ball 360 times,

Yards. You're talking about, I thought you were talking about golf. Yeah, that's what I am.

But you're talking about a coach now. Well, I switched it up. Okay. We also toured the football. I got real confused. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. Because I do not know. I do not know a lot about Georgia Tech football. Yeah. Go Jackets. Yeah. I don't know a lot about them. Yeah. Go Jackets. It's in Atlanta. Yeah. They're the Georgia team outside of the SEC. Right. Yeah. They were in the SEC. Yeah. There's a line in the Alabama fight song.

mentions the Yellow Jackets by name. Send the Yellow Jackets to a watery grave. Wow. Because it used to be an in-conference rivalry years and years ago. Wow. A little fun bit of history for you. Yeah, it would be like, you think about it, Vandy and Georgia Tech and Northwestern, like, we had our own little conference going. Yeah.

Yeah, like a smart school conference. Yeah, Stanford. Duke. Duke. You know? Do our own thing. For what? Like a trivia competition or sports? No, no, for sports. Like a Southern Ivy League. Oh, yeah. That would be fun. That would be good. Yeah, Southern Ivy League. The SIL. SIL. I like that. I don't support Georgia Tech because they beat up on Cumberland a little too much.

In football? Oh, when they won the big game. 222 to nothing? Yeah. What? They made a point. Yeah. Wow. Not recently. Yeah. It was... I mean, their big thing was the option. And he was like, they ran that. I mean, dude, they had Calvin Johnson. Right. He went there. I mean, they've had...

Obviously, a lot of Demetria Johnson, right? I think he passed away. He's from the Broncos. Demarius. Demarius. Thomas. Yeah, Demarius Thomas. Tough career Calvin Johnson had then, huh? Georgia Tech to the Lions. Yeah. Can't catch a break. Hall of Famer, though. It's crazy. I mean, he's great. Megatron. Yeah. Well, they said he was like a four-star recruit out of high school. And, you know, I don't know. Georgia Tech might have been good then.

The Georgia Tech, I mean, they won a championship in 1990. I think they shared it with Colorado. Yeah. But, I mean, that's not that long ago. Yeah, Calvin Johnson, the four-star recruit out of Tyrone, Georgia. 2004. 37th ranked wide receiver in the country. What other schools were? Oh, Georgia, Miami, and Notre Dame. No interest. Wow. That's, you know.

Oh, no, I guess he got an offer from all of them. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure. He's not interested. Yeah, he's not interested at all. Yeah, I bet he was going to, well, he's from Georgia. So he visited, took an official visit at Georgia and Georgia Tech. Yeah. Couldn't bother to come up to South Bend and check it out. He did not go. Never did an official visit. Yeah. Bummer. That's a lot. What a loss. And then he ended up in Detroit. So maybe it's a little Michigan-Notre Dame rivalry. Maybe. Yeah.

But, yeah, we were in. So we did shows, Evans, Georgia, two shows, State Farm Arena, Hawks play. How many shows were there?

All in all, this weekend was about 50,000 tickets. Wow. It was, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. It's Evans and Evans, you know, Evans might have been 2,500, 300, 30,000 or something. And then it was a beautiful theater. It's brand new. That's Augusta. It's like, I mean, they don't want, it's a town. It's not Augusta, but it's essentially, it's a part of Augusta. Yeah.

But great place. The crowds are so good. And then, you know, especially these big arenas. I mean, in Atlanta, we did a thing that I haven't seen for from January on. I'll be in the round in the middle. Like you've seen the Bridgestone Arena pictures. I'll be in the middle. This one, I had people behind me. So they sold. But this wasn't an in the round show.

So, but they sold tickets. I didn't realize they did this. And I got there and they were like, well, there's people behind you. And I'm like, what? And then there's tickets and they're sitting right behind me. They're like, they're, it's a, it's a rear view seat. Partially obstructed view. Well, that's kind of rear view. Yeah. There's a big screen in front of them. I, I do almost think they weren't bad. Like if you think of seats, you're like, I mean, you're pretty close. You're, I mean, I'm never looking at you, but you're looking at the screen.

And you've been there right there. Like it was, uh, and I've never done that before. Someone posted on the, I think the fan page. I can't remember. Were you in Tampa this weekend too? I can't remember if it was Atlanta or Tampa that somehow the arena messed up the seating. They had like 10th row center there, whatever seat they had, it didn't exist. And they posted their photo and they were off to the side in a corner, like up high.

at your show. I don't know. And it was their, it was the, they weren't blaming you. They were blaming the arena. They were actually cool about it. Like, this is kind of crazy. Yeah. But they just said the seat didn't exist. They got sold.

Oh, man. Thanks for bringing it up on public. Those are the Brian Bates seats. Yeah. That happened to me a lot this weekend, too. Yeah. Yeah, my seats. And then someone said somehow when Nick was on stage. It's like a walking review. You're walking Yelp. Everything is just go ahead. Bates advisor. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you a couple of things I read about your show. Somebody's got to. Yeah. That your dad's mic was.

going into Nick and he was hearing you, your dad backstage. Yeah. Yeah. That happened. That was cause they mute. So they, when my dad takes his, my dad has to walk on with the mic, um, like on his ear and,

Cause he needs both hands for magic. Yeah. Hand free Mike. And, uh, so they, but they usually, they just got to mute it. So when he takes the stuff out, it like when he turns it off and all, it wouldn't pick it up. Yeah. And it just was a mess of an idea. So Nick was up there and it was coming through the monitors and then Nick just kind of Nick Foon just played with it.

And he did great. Yeah. I feel bad for those people. Yeah. I didn't know that. I mean, I don't know, like some of that, I don't know what's going on. Right. Sometimes if you buy tickets to, I, I, I'm not saying these people did this. I have no idea, but you know, be aware of like, uh, when you buy tickets on that second market or whatever you're doing, uh, you know, that's, you, you get out of a control of really anything. You don't know what's going to happen.

I think I've had it happen where I bought tickets and you get there and I've had double two tickets sold. Yeah. Where you just sit there like a long time ago. Dude, Florida, Tennessee football game in Gainesville. Yeah. I went with all my buddies and then we bought tickets and it was like these people had these tickets and the other people had their tickets and everybody just had and then everybody just squeezed in. Uh-huh. You know, but.

But yeah, it was, it was, it's wild, man. These arenas are wild and super, super fun. Everybody's so nice. It's great. It's great. Yeah.

Well, I was a little bit different. I'm still on the Christmas party circuit. I did do a show yesterday in Knoxville at three o'clock in the afternoon. Don't try doing a show at three o'clock in the afternoon in Knoxville. You cannot sell tickets there.

Why? Because didn't you just do that? Yeah. Yeah. I just did it. And sold it out. Yeah. Now, I was opening for Karen Mills, and she basically sold out the Bijou Theater. And it was a great show. It was a great show. And so that's where I was. All right. I had a gig, dude. I had a gig at noon today. Wow. Really? Corporate gig. Yeah, dude.

Those are the best, though, because you're already worked. This was not the best, but yeah. I know, but it doesn't matter. The feeling is like, yeah, I've already done stand-up today. Yeah. I bombed horrifically for 30 minutes already. I'm in a second gear. You bombed, or was it just kind of a weird environment? Well, I don't want to blame anybody.

Okay. It was not a perfect situation for comedy and I did not do well. So it was a perfect storm. Can you describe the situation? About 250 people in a room, very long and narrow. Mike's situation was not good. Brought up by the DJ. They're eating lunch. It's noon. Pretty bad, dude. Yeah. How'd the DJ bring you up? He goes, we got a... Well, he...

He did a bunch of things. He was a nice guy. He did some stuff wrong, but I don't think that hurt me. It might have hurt me for 30 seconds, but he brought me up Aaron Weber. This guy performs at the Grand Ole Opry. Aaron Weber. I don't think they knew a comic was coming up.

They're trying to eat lunch. Oh, he just brought you up as performs at the Grand Ole Opry. It's a bit confusing. They were like, where's this guy's guitar? I know. And then when it's just the guy talking, it's a bit of a disappointment. They're like, this guy's explaining this song for a while. 30 minutes. Just get into it, man. If there were a guitar. The crowd starts just clapping just to be like, let's help him out. If it went, I mean, it was going so bad. If there were a guitar on stage, I would have picked it up and started singing just to shift gears a bit.

I had to do 30 minutes, five minutes in. I did the calculations in my head. I thought if I get off now, I don't think they would be upset. I think they'd be a little relieved if I just did five minutes. The people who booked you. Yeah. Because it was like, you can see people be like, you know what I mean? You see people in the crowd be like, they hired a guy that's not good.

This stinks. And I have 25 more minutes left. But sometimes five minutes in and you know they don't like it. It's almost like a punishment now for them. It's like, you don't like me? Well, I'll be up here for 25 more minutes. I've seen Dusty do that in real time. I didn't want to turn spiteful. At one point, there was one table in the front with two guys that were looking at me.

And so I just kept mentioning, I'm killing with these two guys. And at one point I go, Hey, the back of the room, y'all I'm killing up here. And I look back at this girl in the back just goes, just booze me from the back. I was like, Oh no, dude, a magician had to go up after me. And we crossed paths. I immediately left after I got off stage, immediately left. And I passed the magician and he goes,

And I go, good luck. And he said, I respect you, brother. As I walked out. And then I got in the car and drove here and I got a phone call that I forgot to grab the check. I got to go back. I got to go back and look them in the eyes and grab that check at some point. They're like that magician was great. Yeah. But just remember when you get the check, look him right in the eye and go, I had a great time here. Yeah. I had a great time. This was a lot of fun. One of my best shows. You say tell him to keep it. Yeah.

I thought about it. Yeah. Just keep it. Yeah. I don't want to come back and see everybody again. I sat with the table in the back waiting to go up. And these guys sat down. They're like, you the comedian? I go, yeah. And they go, oh, man, we're pumped, dude. I talked to him for a while. They're nice guys. And then as I was asking the dude, they didn't look at me. Man.

That's why I don't want to see anyone before the show. No people before the show. All after. Now, that being said, I was in Chattanooga at the Comedy Catch. It was great. I met a lot of people. Brought you some leaves. All right. Did you bring them here? I got the leaves for you somewhere. They're in my car. They brought Nate Sour Patch Kids. They brought Brian Ensure Breakfast.

shakes. All right. So I have stuff to give you guys. Those crowds were great. I want to tell you one quick story. So late show Friday at the comedy catch this table sitting in the front and they're the worst table. It's just what you don't want. It's a group of like four four guys. They all work together. They're hammered.

They don't know who I am. You know, they're just, let's just go in and see this. They made the whole show about them. They were awful. I, I hated their guts. Okay. I played with them enough that I think they might've had fun, but they were the worst, the worst. Um,

So it's like a whole thing. We talk about it the next night. Dude, they come back to the Saturday Night Late Show. I was standing in the back of the room and they walk in and we're, are you kidding me, dude? The other comics are like, that's the table. Oh, no. And, you know, the staff of the comedy gets is great. They don't know who this tape. So they see them. They're right up near the front again. I was, you've got to be kidding me, dude. And I want to say this.

They were great that second show. Wow. They weren't drunk. It was almost like they came back to apologize for the night before. They didn't laugh because they had already seen the show. They're sober now. Yeah. They liked us a lot less. Wow. But they sat right in the front and they were great the second night. It was almost like they were like, we ruined his night on Friday. Let's let him ruin our night tonight. Yeah. Just to balance things out. Yeah.

It's like a cat bringing a bird to the door. You know, and that cat will bring you. Yeah. That's exactly what they did. A little sacrificial offering. Yeah. They just came and sat. And I said. Did you talk to them? I talked to them after. Yeah. I said, y'all were great. Thanks. It was just kind of a mutual understanding of we've now, the universe is in balance again. Yeah. You know, but dude, I was so mad when they walked in the second time. You almost think, yeah.

just buy the tickets and don't go. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been great. Yeah. Uh, anyway, all the other shows were great. Knoxville was great. A lot of people came out. Uh, so thank you everybody. Great weekend. I hate to harp on just the two bad experiences I had. Well, I like hearing it because it's, uh, that was a super fun. Yeah. I, I, I mean that corporate gig and that stuff, man, that warms my heart. Uh,

I like seeing it. I like it. I like it a lot. It's just so. It really takes you back, you know? It does. You're like, I sold 50,000 tickets this week. It's nice to remember those times. I got booed before 1 p.m. today. At one point I go, I am good at comedy. I said that at one point. Nobody agreed. That's good when you, yeah, when you know you go, guys, it is, my career is going good. Yeah.

Like, don't there's no evidence of this today, but trust me. Yeah. That's so funny. That just, yeah, those are the, you know, and it's crazy. Cause you like, you think you're going, it's going to happen once. You're like, nah, it happens a lot. You get, you haven't so much that you get not bad at it.

That's the weird part. You just have to figure it. Yeah, you're like, I don't want to do any more of these corporate gigs. And then it comes up, you're like, I'll take it. Yeah, I would do it tomorrow. You're like those same guys. I would come right back. You come right back and they go, this guy again. Like, I get my check. I remember doing that. I don't know if I said it. The community college, you do nooners.

is what we'd call him. And a guy, I was late, 12.02, I showed up. And he goes, you're late. I go, I don't know.

I was like, I'm sorry. And then he had a box with a microphone. He took it out, handed it to me. He goes, I'll be back in an hour. And then that was it. And there was no, hey, there's a comedy show. Like you don't see any posters. Where are you? In like a cafeteria? Somewhere outside of Chicago. I brought Ben, what's his name? Ben Bergman. Big Bergman. Yeah. Ben Bergman came and he had him open. I remember that. Thankfully. And.

And so, I mean, he goes, I mean,

So I mean, I can't go. I mean, there's no we're in a stage in the corner. We're just in the cafeteria. People said, well, you're in a cafeteria and you go somewhere outside of Chicago. So kids are trying to eat lunch. Yeah, they're eating. I mean, there's no, you know, there's no community college guy. There's a bunch of different ages in there. No one really cares about school. Yeah. So it's and I mean, I have to go up and the guys just like it was, you know, like I was going in a prison.

And they're like, you got to entertain them for an hour. And the warden leaves. But there's no like, hey, there's a comedy show starting in 10 minutes of everybody. No. That's like Lexington, Kentucky. They would have a room like that where you would be in there doing comedy and there would be free food. And people would come in there and get the food while you're on stage and get the food and leave. Yeah, the Tom Sobel gig. Yeah, they wouldn't even...

They didn't come in and go, oh, there's comedy. I'll sit down and eat the food here. They get the food and leave. What was the gig you did for the Apple Cider?

Oh, that was Red's Apple Ale. Oh, Red's Apple Ale. Yeah, yeah. And Charlotte, North Carolina, big conference room. I mean, it was like, it was every, whoever, whatever beer company owns Red's Apple Ale, it was like all their brands in one giant room. Next to me was a, like, I don't know, a dunking booth. And the other was like a DJ. And I'm on a high stage behind the bartenders to,

two young girls i was like who's your favorite comic they were like kevin hart and i was like okay well you're not gonna like this and it was uh pretty bad people nobody knew what i was doing yeah i was just up there and i started calling people out by their names on their name tag and one lady was like what are you doing up there like i don't know god i'm singing that's yeah it's you'd rather be in the dunking booth yeah yeah yeah

That's the special part. I mean, I really do. Even though, I'm sorry, it was not fun. I love hearing it. But just because I know that's the right path to be on. You have to be just down this path. When you're up there, it's really insane. Because when someone thinks they want to start comedy, and they're like, I'm going to go do comedy, and they go to open mic, right? And say they stay in open mics and whatever. They can be...

They're not as bad as when you go alone. You drive. There's no one to talk to. You don't have anybody. You drive by yourself. And then you're on stage. And people don't even know you're on stage. And then you're having to do your act. And you're in your joke. You're just sitting in your jokes like, Olivia? And nobody is...

Nobody's even looking at you. And you could. You could just walk off stage. And no one would know. You could just...

Go to them and go like, hey, I just did 30 minutes. And they'd be like, yeah, I felt like five minutes. You're like, oh, it felt like I played longer than that. And jokes that you would do the night before in the comedy club and just murder. And you're like, I'm the best comedian in the world. I was thinking two things. I was like, I did the same joke in Knoxville. It was great. Yeah. And it just dating. I care at all today. But I was also thinking, I can't wait to talk about this in the podcast in a couple hours. It's kind of got me through it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway. Yeah. To get done, to already be done for the day, to already do a set is, man, that's nice though. I always liked that. I always felt, even, I mean, that one got bad, but even if it's bad, you just feel, it's like you worked out. Right. You go, like, you just got to be like, I've already got all my stuff done. You've already won the day. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I think the worst with a corporate gig for me is like when I do like some of my newer jokes that I think are really good and it doesn't and it bombs. And then I go, all right, I'm about to hit them with some of this old stuff. That's a real classic. And then you do that and it bombs. You're like, oh, I got nothing. I got nothing. All right, get a little bit of greatest hits crowd. All right, I'll pull it out. Yeah, yeah. This will get them. Yeah, and you're like, oh.

Where were you this weekend? I was at the Liberty Funny Bone in... Cincinnati. Liberty Township, Ohio. Yeah.

It's a great club. It was great. I had a lot of fun. I also finally brought these. I don't know. Months ago, I was in Des Moines, Iowa, and this lady brought us all a Texas Roadhouse gift card. She was a very nice lady. She said her husband didn't want her to do it. Oh, why not? All right. Well, because it's probably his money, or at least the family's money. Yeah.

He's like, don't give these guys these gift cards. Oh, wow. But yeah, she gave us all her gift cards. It's money. I don't mean, you know, but I mean, it's the family's money. Yeah, I think a family going to Texas Roadhouse, it's his money. Yeah. Yeah.

But I love Texas Roadhouse. Yeah, so do I. And so she was very nice. Thank you. And I've had them in the truck forever, but I wanted to give them when we're all here. Yeah. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, I got some nice gifts this weekend for y'all that I left. But the shows this weekend was great. Had a lot of fun. That club's great. The Funny Bones are awesome. A lot of fun.

Yeah, you have a special coming out. I do have a special coming. Yeah, I announced it. Netflix. Yeah, I really thought, hey, I've announced this. This will really turn the sales around for this weekend. And it did not. But I did not sell 50,000 tickets. But...

I did sell 50 to a couple of the late shows. So that was good. That's not bad, dude. No, it was great. I had a lot of fun. I actually, I like sometimes, I mean, you know, of course you want to sell out every show, but it's like, I like sometimes when it's a small crowd and they're all a little drunk because you just get loose with it. And then I'm riffing and I'm just talking about all kinds of crazy stuff. And that's fun to me. Yeah.

Yeah. But yes, I have a Netflix special coming out on January 16th. All right. Big time. So very exciting. Congrats. Yeah. I mean, I recorded it in May in Knoxville and I've known for a little bit of time that Netflix was going to pick it up, but I didn't have a date. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, you know, I was like, so I didn't talk about it, but now it's out and very exciting. Yeah. So I'm pumped. It's going to be great. Yeah.

It's going to be great. Yeah, it's an hour of comedy that I like. And it's my first thing that I've ever gotten to film that I've really got to do it in the South, right? Like every time if I do, you know, The Tonight Show or Jimmy Kimmel or I did a Comedy Central thing and even the other –

Netflix half hour. It's always New York or LA, which they're great. But I, you know, the South and the Midwest is where I learned to do comedy. Yeah. It's in your pocket. Yeah. You're in the pocket. So it was fun. I did the Bijou where you were at this weekend, Karen Mills and it was hot. I love it. It looks good. It sounds good. It looks the way I want it to look.

And I'm pumped. I can't wait. Yeah, it's going to be exciting. Yeah. Yeah. This is our last episode of the year where we're all together because we got to do some episodes where some of us can't be here. And one of my predictions for 2023 was that you do a one hour special and.

Put it out. All right. Oh, yeah? All right. You did it. All right. What was your prediction for Nate again? Well, Nate, in retrospect, I wasn't even thinking. I said you'd win a Grammy for Hello World, which the way that it came out, you wouldn't even have been nominated this year. So I wasn't even thinking about that. And I didn't get nominated. For next year. I also found out today I did not get nominated for Golden Globe. So...

It makes you feel any better. We didn't either. Our critics' choice or anything else. So, yeah, you really nailed it, bro. Well, you've exceeded any prediction I could have ever had for 2023. Yeah, I would say make some more predictions for me. I'm 0 for 2 for you. That's okay.

Well, I want to say real quick before I forget, Danielle, the manager at the Comedy Catch, listens to the podcast and took objection to all your swim talk. She was a collegiate swimmer. She's trying to get a one-on-one competition with Dusty started. She was like, I would smoke him. Well, I like that. Well, I mean, everybody thinks they can swim faster than me. She swam in college. That doesn't matter. I swam in college age. Yeah. You know?

And I, you know, somebody, uh, brought me, uh, a fan of mine, uh, brought me a swim metal and I forgot to bring it today. He brought me up. So I've, you know, I now have a metal for swimming and someone brought me a swimming cap. Yeah. Uh,

So I'm ready. Yeah, people are. I mean, I think we've got a lot of offers of people. We could do it at a lot of places. People are into it. I'll get up from this table and race Daniel. Yeah. I mean, let's go. Well, she's in Chattanooga. Let's go. We're flyer up. Yeah. Just so drive. It's a short drive. Yeah. Shorter than flying probably. Yeah. My prediction for you for 2024 is you'll star in a movie.

Now, it won't be out in 2024, but you'll at least shoot it in 2024. Yeah, that's going to be my prediction. I mean, there's nothing left to do for him. I know. You'll sell out a theater. You'll host Saturday Night Live. No. I mean, there's not a lot left, so I'm going to say movie. Let's hope so. White House Correspondents Dinner. There it is. Me? Yeah. I'm just kidding. Yeah. I don't know if I'd do that. You could host an award show.

Yeah, I don't know. I think I would enjoy that.

I'd like to try it. You'd find a way to make it fun. Yeah. I bet. Yeah. I liked it. It's fun to go. Like if you get to do some of this stuff. Yeah. I don't, I mean, I don't know. You know, we got a lot of stuff that we're working on. A lot of stuff comes and goes. It's a, yeah, it's all going. Yeah. It's all going great. It's all, it is. It's for like, they was the Grammy thing. The golden, like the golden globes came out. It was announced today and we, I was like, you felt good. And I just didn't get nominated for anything.

and that stuff's hard, but it's not hard. Like you really, you can feel yourself. You don't really care that, you know, you're like this, this isn't what you're doing it for, but then it's also like, this is the first year for comedy, right? Yeah. So at least you can't say like, how would you feel if dusty's Netflix special wins a Grammy next year? That'd be awesome. Yeah. I'm just kidding. I wouldn't like it. You wouldn't like it. Yeah.

Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't... I'm not looking to win any Grammys. As we're talking about it, I think about the old Eminem song where he's talking about, you know... You think I give about a Grammy? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's just fun. I love that. That song was great. Most of you critics can't stomach me, let alone stay in me. Yeah. Right. Yeah, I think always people...

But everybody does like to win. Of course. Yeah. Even when he says that. I'll take the Grammy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. It doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't. You know, I just want to. Yeah, dude, I love stand up. I love, you know, this weekend I was like, I just love it so much. I love hearing people laugh. I love trying to write.

You know, like doing this hour and just like, I mean, it's so fun. It's so, I get pure joy when I'm up there. It's, you know, to hear the laughing is, there's nothing more rewarding than that. Whatever I would maybe want to win or something is, I understand there's no depth with that. And I have the depth that I want.

It's, you know, you just competitively, you can sometimes, I have everything. You've already found meaning. I've already, yes. And so now I just want to continue to make that kind of stuff and then hopefully do stuff like that where you can do a movie or a TV show or whatever it is to continue to, you know, make stuff for all these people that want to come because a lot of people want to laugh and have a good time.

Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. I get it. What's your special called? Working man. Working man. 50,000 tickets. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Not even close. 50 tickets late show. Well, you know, my manager really likes the idea of- Working man. Like, let's tell people what the special is. Yeah. In the title. Yeah. Let's not get- I like that. Let's not get too cute with it. Let's tell them what the- I like that. Because, I mean, in my head, I want to name it making that fudge or stuff like that. And I'm like, let's tell them what it is. Counterpoint.

Do you think your name already does that? No, no. It doesn't, though. You don't think so? No. And that's why I was the Tennessee kid. No one knew my name. I mean, no one ever knows your name, ever. But he's joking that Dusty Slade. Oh, okay. Yeah, that guy's not a...

But that's the idea. And I got a lot of jokes about jobs I've worked and a very like, you know, I mean, I had a, you know, I was a pesticide salesman for like 10 years and a waiter. And it's like, so it's all inspired by that kind of stuff. That's awesome. Yeah, I like it. I think I actually agree. That was a Netflix thing when they said that, or they, or my manager might've come, but then they came with Tennessee Kid. But it's, it's what could be,

what's the title that you go? Like, I basically know what I'm getting into. And then they, and then, and then it's just, you know, then they watch it and they love it. And working man is like,

You're like, yeah, that wraps up everything. And on the Netflix half hour, I came out to the working man's blues by Merle Haggard. But this time my friend, Jesse Daniel, my country singer friend wrote the theme song that I'll be coming out to. Oh, is that was in the, in the trailer. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. So he wrote that song and then he's going to do a whole album. So he's going to release that song on his own, but he wrote it for, for the intro to the, that's exciting. That's cool. That's exciting.

Jesse Daniels, great. If you've not heard him, he's really good country. Yeah. Really good. Couldn't help to notice you're wearing Viore. I am. As am I. We all love Viore. All the items we have are great, like the Sunday Performance Joggers and the Athletic Core Shorts, which could be the most comfortable line available.

athletic shorts. All of their pieces are really well-made and it did not wear out fast. Like some other brands. Fiore is a new outlook on performance apparel. Perfect. If you're sick and tired of traditional old workout gear, you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. Fiore can be worn for any activity like running, training, yoga, fitness,

Where the main question was, how would you fund the hunt for Nessie? Y'all are the best. Yeah. A lot of people want you to run for president. All right. We'll figure this Nessie stuff out. Some, not so much. I would say Nessie. I understand not doing it now. I'd say just for the town. It's the lure of the town. Right. You shut that town down. Yeah. Tourism industry is over. I think it's in there though. And I think they find it and then tourism booms. Yeah.

Well, then tourism would be insane. Yes. It would be the craziest. But that risk reward is probably too much to be like... I just don't believe that. I mean, the whole world's pretty different if there's a Loch Ness Monster. Yeah. If there's a dinosaur in this...

See, you think that, but you talk about it in your last special. Think about all the alien stuff that's come out and we're not living life. But we still haven't seen an alien. That's the thing. Okay. They still haven't. I mean, I'm saying the second you pull a body of something out, if they pull a Bigfoot body or if they do it, everything's different. It has to be undeniable. Yeah. I mean, the UFO stuff is like they're saying it's the government saying like,

Yeah, we've seen some stuff. We can't explain what this thing moving quick is. But you see so much of it that you're like, what does this even mean? Like, I don't even know. You know, even though it's like fun and they're telling you, still, there's no. Yeah, I just don't think these world governments really care about the tourism money. You know what I mean? They're like, no, no. If they want to find it, they'll go, no, we're going to check it out.

Yeah. We don't care about your little tourism money. I'm saying for the town. Right. I think they don't care about the town. But a lot of times there'll be a conspiracy video where you see something and then the government will say, no, that's just something else. And you'll say, ah, they're probably covering it up. Yeah. But it seemed like that town would want that to exist. So tourists would come see it.

I think, or are we assuming, here's a question. Do a lot of people travel to look for the Loch Ness Monster? I just, I mean, you know, it's crazy. Two days after we recorded this podcast, or the day after, I talked to one of my business managers who was there. She was there the day we talked about this. Really? Yeah. Searching for the Loch Ness Monster. Oh, man. Okay. All right. I mean, some of these African countries that...

have like... Whoa. I don't know. That's all I just found out. Where's this going? You better get to the point quick. They have safari, they have elephants, have lions, things like that. They make a lot of money off people coming there to go on these safaris. So if you have some new creature that no one's ever seen, you make a ton of money. Okay. Well, yeah, if it's there, well, yeah, you got to make it.

But if you find out it's not there. Yeah, I agree with that too. It's trouble. But I just feel like there's got to be something to it, right? Because what's to keep anybody from just being like, hey, I got some stuff in my leg. Yeah. Guy, I'll charge you to look around the leg. Isn't there one in Canada that's kind of like that? I don't know. I think there's another-

Kind of North American Loch Ness monster. Oh, we should do a mythical creatures episode. Yeah. Part two. Part two. Joanna Marie Zimmerman. That's a lot. That is a lot. Joanna Marie Zimmerman. Brian's got a specus. Sorry, I was still looking at your name. It's hard to get started. It's like a long sprint. It's a lot to write.

Don't try to sign that on a check. You write a check to her, you're like, dang. You got to write it to that. My hands hurt. You have to write two checks just for one, tape them together. Brian's got to start speaking up during these reality-based conversations. Watching Aaron go head-to-head with Nate and Dusty when discussing anything of substance is brutal. Justice for Aaron, he needs backup.

He should have phoned a friend during these debates. Well, I'm sorry, Aaron, but I'm here for you today. It's hard sometimes when Nate's on a roll to even jump in there, but I'm here for you today. I'm ready to defend you. I appreciate it. I agreed with you about we should be doing space exploration. I don't even remember what the argument was about. I didn't agree that the focus should be 4.5 billion years for the sun to...

But I kind of understand what you're saying now because everybody was like, Aaron, if the sun explodes, Mars- By everybody, you mean me and Nate. No, the comments were all like- I did. I took a lot of heat for people thinking, I said, the sun's going to explode, so we need to go to Mars. And they go, well, don't you know Mars is in the same solar? I'm not saying we stay on Mars, but that's obviously the first step- Obviously. To expanding outside of the solar system. You think we can just see farther then? Yeah.

Like we get to Mars and then we're like, oh, these decum plants keep going. There's another sun down there. There's more of them. He goes, oh, we got to just keep hopping. Well, we got to set up somewhere else. Got to get going. You know? But it's true. But if the sun does...

Yeah. What's the difference of. Well, we got to start somewhere. I'm just saying, if you want to leave the neighborhood, you got to get to the end of your driveway first. And we're saying, let's not even bother with the driveway. And I'm going the whole day. Bring everybody to the end of the driveway. I mean. Well, you got to start. Well, you got to start with somebody. I don't know. Yeah. You got to drive the car out there. Yeah. This is going to be like when they, they would show this video in 4 billion years. Yeah.

And hearing us talk, it's going to sound like, you know, just like we saw in the old video, just something like, beep, beep, beep. They go, what's a driveway? They go, they're not even hooked to Neuralink. Yeah. Why are they talking? That takes so much effort. They needed to talk back then. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. And they go, and then you're, and they go, that was the guy that goes, we need to get going. Yeah.

Doug Brulette. Brulette. That's a long one. B-R-O-U-I-L-L-E-T-T-E. He's like, let's get all the vowels in here. I feel like his family just gave him Doug just to give him a break. A little balance. Yeah. I'm sure it's Douglas, and they're like, but just go by Doug just so we know what's happening.

That's a name I don't think anybody wants to spell because Brulette, if you're a boss of him, you go, I'm going to write Doug B on all your checks. And he goes, yeah, that's understandable. Yeah, if you're a teacher, it's Mr. B. It's Mr. Oh, yeah. Two L's and two T's. We were Mr. My dad was Mr. B as a teacher. Smart. Yeah. Love no so to no end. All right. Doug's coming around on me. I might have to name the ship after his family's name.

The USA does have NOAA, National Oceanic, Oceanic, Oceanic?

I think it's oceanic and atmospheric administrations. But they are pitiful on stuff like the Loch Ness Monster and octopus cities. Great episode. That's true. Yeah, so pitiful on stuff we didn't even know about it. Yeah. But I don't like that they're even throwing in oceanic and atmospheric. Is atmospheric space...

Yeah. I don't need you to do both. Yeah. I don't want you to do both. Just pick a lane. First of all, who do you think you are? Maybe that's where we're not getting anything done. Yeah. Cause you're like, well, we do both. We do the ocean and the air and you're like,

Well, why don't we just focus on one and then we start a new one? Again, I mean, the whole argument is- What's the point of- Then what's NASA for? It's just exploring the ocean first and then space. That's the whole debate, I think. If you have NOAA, what's the point of NASA? Different things for different airs. NASA is space. I don't think the NOAA-

is trying to go to the moon. What are they trying to look at? I don't know. We're supposed to be going back to the moon. You guys see that? Yeah. What do you think about that? Well, it says- I'm having trouble with the word back. It says unmanned, so I don't believe it. Well, no, we're going to send people back soon.

The NOAA warns people for dangerous weather. They chart seas and sky. They guide the use of the protection of ocean and coastal resources, and they conduct research to help understanding and stewardship of the environment. So nothing really with the- They're celebrating 200 years? Yeah, it's been around- NOAA's been around for 200 years? I don't- There's no way. 200 years? Yeah.

I agree with you. Yeah. What is that? 1823? And we've explored. Is that really when it got started? 1823, they started doing stuff? 15% of the ocean. Is that what we've explored? I don't know. It was a low number. Yeah. 200. There's no way. If they walked in and go, I'm a 200-year, get out of here. 1823, they're like, oh, the waves are bad out there. Yeah, it takes a while. Their mission is to understand and predict changes in climate, weather, ocean, and coast.

share that knowledge and info with others. They're kind of busy right now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're doing important stuff. I want to show you this. Somebody in Greenville brought me this. This is Reed Jones brought me this. I don't know if you remember at the end of the episode, Lauren, one of the producers here put,

put a logo together for no. So, and he made the official, Oh, look at that. Official ID badge. Wow. Yeah. For no. So what level four band clearance? So codes get you to this QR codes. Go to my website. All right. He made that. Oh, that's awesome. I'm officially sanctioned. Yeah. You're in. Yep. Uh, yeah. 200 years. Huh? Reed Jones. Uh, what do they get off? Yeah.

I don't understand what you're... And what was the constitution? 1776, right? Yeah, so they were like, better. So they got really got going, didn't they? We're a country now. Let's start. Yeah, they do the constitution. Then they're like, let's start figuring out this ocean and atmospheric stuff. That oceanic probably wasn't even a word back then. Yeah. I don't believe that. 200 years.

Sam Sansalone. Sam Sansalone. Hey, that's everybody goes meets me because I'm Sam and they go, what's your last name? Just just call me Sam. Now you got to say it. Sansalone. Listening to Nate make a passionate case.

for how to solve the world's largest problems while wearing a ketchup hat is Pete Nathland, and I am here for it. All right. You got your pizza hat on now. This is assistant over there. Yeah. This is what ketchup gets the pizza started. Somebody gave me this hat in Ohio. They said it was their golf hat. They said they were Team Slice.

Oh, that's fun. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Yeah, that's fun. I was wearing a Michigan hat in Ohio and they really took offense to it. It wasn't a University of Michigan. It was just a- Doesn't even matter. It was just a state. Yeah. You just wore a random hat about the state of Michigan? Did you say pure Michigan? Well, it was just a white trucker hat that has a-

you know, engine bearings, you know, just kind of a old company. Do you wear a lot of hats to other, when you go to a new state? Yeah. I got a, I got a Des Moines, Iowa hat. I'll wear around a lot of places. Even to other places. Yeah. Yeah. The Michigan hat and the Des Moines, Iowa hat are my favorites. I mean, they're classic looking hats. Yeah. It's just the Michigan Ohio state thing. And then they just play. Yeah. I was like, I don't know. I hate the whole state.

Yeah, that's the whole point. Katie Shay. This has been the funniest Dusty episode ever. I'm dying. Zucchini peenie is killing me. All right. Zucchini peenie. Yeah. Well, I don't know how to read sometimes. And you put zucchini right next to a word like that. Zucchini peenie. I mean, it rolls off the tongue. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Thank you, Katie. Kristen Flavell. Flavell. We're getting some people today, boy. Flavell. Flavell. Kristen Flavell. There's an episode of Drain the Oceans.

where they actually did scan the lake that the Loch Ness Monster supposedly lives in, and they did not find any large creature. I think it's more fun to leave it alone and let people believe in the myth. I agree with that. I disagree. I've never heard of the show, Drain the Oceans. I mean, it sounds like some kind of propaganda TV show where they're like, oh, no, we scanned it. We can tell what's in there now. It's like, I bet you can. I bet you scanned it.

You know what I mean? No, we scanned it. We're the myth busters of Loch Ness here. It is good, though. You could just be like, well, he got out. Yeah. Yeah. So they got in lockdown. They probably were like, yeah. Didn't you suggest maybe he went through like a tunnel or something out in the ocean? Who knows what's going on, though? Yeah. Now, let me ask you this. What television show producer would be incentivized for there not to be a Loch Ness monster? Why would they make up the opposite?

It's better TV if they find it, right? Well, there's some, I mean, there's shows around chasing Bigfoot where they never find Bigfoot. They'd love to find it. I know, but you would never argue they actually found Bigfoot and they're just not showing it on the TV show. That'd be the best TV show of all time if they found it, right? Bigfoot is, there's a lot, there's just such a defiance with the,

Lake. It's a lake, right? So I don't know why it's on Discover the Oceans or Drain the Oceans. Well, they do a lot of stuff. Like, no, so. Yeah, they do some lakes and rivers. The lake is locked down. Oh, this episode of Drain the Oceans, we're going to go jet skiing in Old Hickory Lake. You're like, well, this doesn't make sense. And that's what happened. So, yeah, I would think, you know, Bigfoot, like, you're like, all right, well, they're not in that where you're looking, but it's like it could be anywhere.

And this is like pretty, like it's either there, it's pretty contained. I agree with that. But to Aaron's point, if Loch Ness is there, this TV, people would love to find it. Well, sure. Well, I mean, depending on what their overall agenda is. I mean, maybe their agenda is just to make a TV show and make you watch it regardless of the outcome. Yeah. And so they're just saying it's, that sounds like a good episode. We're going to get to the bottom of Loch Ness Monster. Yeah. I'll watch that.

And maybe they find other things in there. Maybe in the episode, they're like, oh, there actually is some cool stuff in here. I guess if it's just one episode on the Loch Ness...

they don't care. Right. We tried it at the end of the show. They're like, we didn't find him next week. We're talking about algae. I mean, I've watched lots of useless shows where at the end they don't find what in that course, you know, maybe they would love to find it, but they're like, well, we already filmed the show. Yeah. You said a joke about it. Yeah. Yeah. The Bigfoot joke. If they, yeah. Can you imagine? That's why you watch it. Can you imagine if they find the world's different? Do you watch the show river monsters? That guy who catches,

basically mythological fish all over the world. He catches them. Yeah. And he just stopped doing the show. Why? Because I've caught everything. Oh, really? That's what he said. He's like, I've gotten everything I've ever wanted to catch. Wow. I've done everything. And the only thing that makes this mythological is that we haven't caught it. Well, I mean, it could be. I guess it could have died, right? It was a long time ago.

And it's like, you know, I watched just a show just on, you know, the ocean. And like there was like these, the orcas will kill a baby blue whale, giant baby blue whale, just to eat the bottom jaw of the whale. And then this giant whale sinks to the bottom of the ocean where other things eat the rest of it. So if Loch Ness dies, I'm sure there's something down there to eat it. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, it might have been 100 years ago. Yeah. Which we would have already been to 100 years of the D whatever that was. Yeah. Noah. Noah. Noah, yeah. Yeah. Charles Soden. The problem Nate's rant is that many of our current day inventions came from thinking about the future.

I'm sure people thought NASA was wasting their time creating things like the laptop, computer, camera phone, wireless headphones, or insulation. They were invented for space but became widely useful everyday items. Velcro. It's another big one. Came from NASA. Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm. Would you like to issue an apology? No, I don't even remember what I was saying. Uh...

Yeah, I don't know. It's, yeah. I don't know. But he's not thinking about the future. I would also debate all of these things that NASA invented them for this or that, whatever. Insulation. Come on, guys. Come on. You're telling me nobody was sitting around going, I wish there was something to keep us from getting so cold in here while we're inside the house. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. I mean, I would debate that NASA invented that for space and it's like, oh, you know what? What else we can use this for? Our trailers. Yeah. So NASA invented everything? Yeah, yeah. I mean,

I'm sure Apple would probably disagree a little bit too. All right. Here's a quick list of things that came from space. Camera phones, scratch resistant lenses. I mean, you wear glasses. Right. This is what they claim, but they probably sold this, stole this idea from some poor smuck out there. He goes, Hey, I invented scratchless lenses. And then they shot him. And then they were like, we got it now.

Foil blankets. Well, there you go. Yeah. Next marathon you run, think NASA. A foil blanket, I'll give them that. I'll give them foil blankets. A dust buster. I mean, that's nice. Who's not probably used aluminum foil and just slept under it? Right. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, I'm cold and all I got is this roll of aluminum foil. Wireless headsets, memory foam, freeze-dried food, smoke detectors, baby formula, artificial limbs. I mean, this list is crazy. A computer mouse.

Yeah. See, I debate all that with them. Like they're like, no, they're like, we invented this. And I'm like, yeah, I bet you did. NASA developed an eight ounce ear thermometer, which used infrared astronomy technology to measure the amount of energy emitted by the eardrum. If you're making this stuff though, what, I mean, so what are they doing? They're making all this stuff for space and they're like, you know what? This would go great in target as well. Well,

They go, well, we've got to have a human being survive in space, which means we're going to have to do all kinds of things. I understand that. Yeah. I would say. So then they get all the resources. They get the funding to do research and develop this stuff. And then they're like, there's no space. And then they can pivot that. Yeah. So they get the money. Don't need it now. And the money comes from taxes, probably. From NASA. Yeah, it's the government. So the thing that's inventing all this stuff.

It has unlimited of our money. Right. And then they go, oh, and then on top of it, we're the ones that, we're the only ones that get to invent this stuff. Cause you can't even have tried to invent it. And then they resell it to us and we pay taxes on the resale. And so. Man, I got a little bit of money in bed. That's the system. That's a bleak way of looking at it, but yeah, I guess so. Reality. That's bleak. Yeah.

Memory foam. Here's a good example. 1970, y'all made that? 1970s NASA. Who do you think you are? NOAA? 1970, y'all made memory foam? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It may help make everyone's seats more comfortable. I mean...

So like what? They get the process of owning a bed? I guess they get it started and then these companies like Apple or whatever maybe buy the technology and then they patent it and make it go out to consumers. I don't know how that works. I'm not giving NASA all this credit. Yeah, I think I'm back to... I think I stand with whatever I was talking about. Jake Larson.

Aaron talks a big game with a lot of things, but Brian is closer to David Beckham than Dusty is to Michael Phelps. Might be the most outlandish thing he's ever said on this podcast. Yeah, okay. Dusty, I'm with you. Yeah, sorry. I'm reading it in a different speed. Dusty, I'm with you on this. I'm baffled that everyone thinks breakfast could blend in on a soccer field better than you in a swimming pool. Having played soccer my whole life,

I can assure you that Brian would stick out like a sore thumb no matter what he does. That's what I'm talking about, Jake. You know why I'm saying that? Because you look like a thumb. Well, that's what I'm talking about, Jake. That's the joke inside of the joke. I mean, it's like... My argument is not that I am Michael Phelps, but...

I mean, I'm just saying. You're blending in. Yeah, I can, you know, I have as much chance to blend in. Yeah, he's just saying. Yeah, I was going to say that for the next comment, but we'll go ahead and look at this if you want. The next comment, Mike Hunt says, Brian is severely underestimating how much soccer players have to run even when they're not near the ball. Here's Messi this weekend.

It's a time-lapse video following Messi around the field. And he's just walking back and forth. But you would be running to keep that pace. Yeah.

I can walk. Yeah. He's jogging a little bit. Yeah, I can jog a little bit too. This is the thing that makes you watching Messi walk not seem weird is that when he does spring into action, it's pretty incredible. Well, he's just trying not to ever spring into action. Yeah, exactly. But I mean, the thing is...

That's a lot of walking for you, man, because you got to walk. You can't ever really be left out of the play, the competition. If you're trying to blend in, you kind of need to be in the thick of it so people don't notice you. So, I mean, if you get tired, I mean, you can't even be walking that far back because you need to kind of be – so you're going to have to do a little running, and I mean, you're going to be –

You're going to be exhausted. Well, I don't deny that. And they play for 45 straight minutes. And then you're going to complain about, but the clock stopped. Why is it still going? I do that from the stand, so I'm sure I'd be doing that on the field.

I mean, people have emailed me trying to explain the whole thing. They're like, it's not about whether you're good at the sport or not. It's whether you can blend in. But my argument is that you have to play the sport in order to blend in. We're not just talking about the sidelines, right? I mean, it's like. I know. That's why you picked the worst one possible. Swimming stuff is your body. My.

I don't know why we think my body's so bad. It's not a swimmer's body. I'm ready to go. Let's go watch any swimming. You're talking about Olympics, right? I argue that there is a professional swimming league out there that we have no idea about. We could find that. Yeah. We could find that where you could just go. You're going to stand there with Speedos and no shirt on. Are they all wearing Speedos? I don't know. I don't think they have...

Tommy Bahamas on. Cut off jeans. Yeah, I mean, you know, but yeah, I'll do it. I mean, let's go. You could wear those long ones that go during your knees. Yeah. Yeah. Or you can maybe wear a full body suit. A bit more of a swimming suit. You'd probably wear, yeah, you'd probably be, you'd want the most coverage. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I'd trim the beard back. I'd wear a swimming cap. I mean, you'd be like, all right. Yeah. This guy's ready to go. Yeah. Did you see a lot of swims with beards? Yeah.

Well, you know, you got to really trim it back. It has to really be close. You're willing to go back to old Dusty. Well, I don't want, I mean, I'm not going to shave it off. Yeah. But yeah, I mean. You take it down. But who knows what's, what, you know, we're seeing the guys make it to the Olympics. We want to see like the local swim. Yeah, there might be a professional league, almost like a minor league swim team. Where they're never making it to the Olympics. Yeah, didn't someone say bowling too? Bowling would be good.

But I'm terrible at bowling. I could do it. I would immediately not. Yeah, you're pretty good. I mean, you're a good bowler. But again, I don't think it needs to be an individual sport. Blending in means get out there and try to stay away from the action. Yeah, that's true. But nothing says I'm not good at this like staying away from the action. Well, I'm not saying that you're trying to make people think you're good. I think. Try to blend in and not be seen. I think that when the gunshot's fired and you jump into the pool, everyone will go, that guy's not supposed to be here.

Yeah, but we even said in the original that we would have time to train. We said we would give some time to train. You just said I could hop off this table right now. Beat Danielle in a race, but not blend in. You know what I mean? So the first thing I would do if I were to start training was learn the form of jumping off that thing. Right, right, right. Because that's where I don't have.

But swimming in the pool, speed-wise, I'm ready. Freestyle. I don't jump off a lot of the boards or whatever. I don't know if you would get training because you would be – I think you get a couple days' notice training. If it's a real mission, I don't think they're like, hey, in six years. You don't jump off a board, do you? You jump off something, some platform. Edge of the pool, I thought.

I think it's a platform of some sort. Yeah, I think it's a platform. Oh, okay. Man. You guys, those are your swim meets back in the day, above ground pool, circular. I'm just trying to remember the Olympics when they're all lined up. I mean, this will have to come. You can push off the ladder, do 40 laps, first one win. It's just a small amount. This will have to come down to a competition. The Watson family is the one that's judging it. Yeah.

It will never be settled. Who's the Watson family? Remember the Watson pools? Oh yeah. The Watson girl. Yeah. Somebody suggested slot receiver for me. Okay. Because they said, you just got to go 10 yards and they'd have to cover you. Just don't throw it to him. And,

I don't know about that, dude. I started thinking about it. I would want to just see you in these uniform. Seeing you in full pads would be pretty good. Yeah, see, team sport, I think, to me, is the hardest to blend in with because you're up next to all your other teammates. Yeah, football might not be. I would never fumble, though.

because whenever they try to determine if that was a catch or not, they're always like, he didn't make a football move. I could run 30 yards downfield with a ball. They're like, he never made a football move. I don't think it was completion. Somehow he never had possession of it. Do you think an offensive line could hold a defensive line long enough for you to get to 30 yards? How many yards? How many yards –

Do you think, even this might be a fun question, like I'm doing Manning cast. Yeah. All right. Oh, that's on there. That's all right. But it's like, it was maybe a funny question to bring up. How good of an offensive line is,

Could some – like if it would be like to get me to get to – or to get you to 30 yards away. You know how the Eagles have the tush push? Yeah. I mean, that'd be – they'd have to really do some pushing. Football's terrifying. I mean, I would be – it would be so terrifying. The quarterback's got to be – it's going to be like you're going to make it. You're running a 30-yard out. So that means you run 30 yards and then cut out. Yeah. So right when you turn, I'm saying could you – like the –

Could the old line be like, boys, I need you to hold. Because he's slow. Yeah. Because he's going to get caught up at the line. The D-back is going to. I don't know if you even get past. No. But even if it was no one guarding you, just as straight. No one covered me. No one covering you. Yeah. Straight 30 yard out. And then he goes, Hut.

Could any offensive line hold long enough? For the quarterback not to get crutched? Yeah. For him to be like, I can't. You got to get there sooner. It had to be prevent, D, for sure. Yeah. The rush one, maybe. I would like to see this. We could probably get a football team to be like, y'all just, you know, they're doing their practice. Yeah. Let Brian full pads and everything. He's got to run a 30-yard out.

And then you can see, like, what would be the average time? Because they get like three or four seconds. I think you could do it. How far do you think you can get 30 yards? How far can I think I'd get 30 yards? I'd say about 30 yards. How much time? I mean, it would take me a little bit.

What I'd like to see is the goal line, first and goal with one. Eye formation. Where I jump over the line to score the touchdown. Bo Jackson. I don't think you could get over your own line. No, dude.

I know I couldn't. I think you would go, your best guess is to go low. Go underneath their legs. You'd butt fumble it, dude. I mean, can you imagine getting hit? I mean, at least if you're in the NFL, you've been getting hit like that since high school. Yeah, you're already a little brain dead. I mean, gosh.

Yeah. I remember I played football in middle school one year and we did hitting drills and that's when I was like, I'm out. Oklahoma? Yeah. Yeah. Me too. It was like, yeah. You want to tell us about Rocket Money? Oh, I've been waiting all day to talk about it. I love Rocket Money. If I asked you...

Brian, how many subscriptions you have? Would you be able to list all of them and how much you're paying? No, because if you would have asked me this question before I started using rocket money, I would have said yes. But let me tell you, I would have been so wrong. I cannot believe how many I had and all the money I was wasting. I've talked about it all the time. I sign up for stuff, you know, I get ambitious and I think I'm going to change my life and I sign up for something. Yeah.

of Paul with Aaron doing a cannonball is absolutely gold. Episode was hot. I agree. It was a hot episode. Yeah, it was good. We're going to do a little bit more. We'll do a little more with this episode. What is this? Mythical Creatures Part 2. Oh, all right. Yeah, maybe we really talk about some mythical creatures, you know?

Well, we did. Grand scheme of things, we barely scratched the surface. We spent most of our time talking about the Loch Ness Monster in Bigfoot. In space. Yeah, in space. But I'm guessing there's a bunch that we didn't get to. There's a few. Now, there's a whole pseudoscience called cryptozoology. Mm-hmm. A cryptid. You're going to hate me for this? I took a cryptozoology class in college. I don't even know what pseudo means. It means it's a size that nobody counts. Mm-hmm.

Oh, really? I mean, that's not what pseudo means, but basically it's not like an official science. There's a lot of that out there. Oh, yeah. All of it for Dusty. Yeah, there's a lot of that. It's all pseudoscience. It's called NASA. Yeah. A lot of that. What, you took a crypto? I took an anthropology class in college that was about cryptozoologies. We talked all about this stuff. How would you even know to take that class? You had to take it.

Saw a flyer. I think. You tore one of those little things off like guitar lessons. Uh-huh. I had. When you, honestly, when you pick classes. Yeah. Do they, you have to go, hey, what does this mean? And they're like, oh, we're going to talk about like bugs and stuff. And you're like, all right, I'll do that.

Well, there's usually a course description of what you're going to talk about. And most of it for some easy credits. Well, you have to fulfill certain requirements, right? Like you have to do at Notre Dame. You had to do like a theology requirement or you have to do like an arts and letters, a science or something like that. And I can't remember what it was. I think this class counted as a science class or something, even though it was about pseudoscience, but it was just all about how to recognize science.

evidence and stuff like that for these types of things. These mythical creatures, they're called cryptids. There's a whole...

I don't know what that means. But anyway, there's a cryptozoology and paranormal museum in Littleton, North Carolina. So why is it there? It's a big thing. I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to think which one to start with. Now, Dusty, you sent me a video. You probably don't remember because it was a couple of weeks ago, but it's just normal video. Just your daily video that you send. Take a look at this. But it was the one in Indonesia. Oh,

That one's fun. Yeah, let me find it real quick. All right. Well, what we're talking about. The humanoid in Indonesia. Yeah. So these people are out on a paddle board, I guess, or whatever. And then they see these things out there. And they're kind of like some type of monkey with crazy legs. And we don't have audio, but they're basically playing music. Right? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, you know, and I don't know, but it's a pretty fun video. Can I turn audio on in here? Is that okay? Just to hear it? I want to hear it for a second. Is it in the video, Brian? Yeah, it's in the video. I just want to hear it. Yeah, there you go.

It's kind of creepy. If this comes back copyrighted, we know it's fake. Yeah. Yeah. This video is great though. I mean, you know, whether you believe it or not, I'm not saying I do, but you, it's a fun video. I mean, now I didn't watch the whole video you sent me, but the explanations given is it was some type of performance art piece. And those were people in costume. Well,

Well, this was the mainstream kind of like, oh, they were like, this is what it is. But they kind of break it down in that they don't look the same. They're very similar, but they don't look the same. I just like the idea of believing that there's a little more out there in the world than what we're like.

see every day. I just think it's fun to not just live as though everything is so boring and like the swamp monster guy or whatever you're talking about. He's like, I've caught everything. It's just boring to believe that we've seen everything. We found everything. I like to believe there's a little mystery still out there. I like how they're already being critical of you're seeing possibly

alien type things. Yeah. And they're like, oh, and they're making music. And this was like, well, that one guy's not that good at it. Yeah. That's what the bottom says. You're seeing an alien. They're playing music. All pretty good. We don't even know what these people are. Yeah. The clap caption is if this is a performance, the guy sitting down isn't playing the part very well. I think they're talking about one of the guys in the boat that sees it.

What? Wow. When they're in their little canoes, there's a guy who is kind of freaking out. So they're saying, if this is a performance where everybody's in on it, that guy is not playing his part well. Oh, okay. Yeah, I would not believe it. I mean, I would imagine... How do you act? You look like you're on a...

Prince Harry. Yeah, it looks like you're on something that they go to all the time. Right. And then you're like, now...

Well, I agree. And if they found, like, and two, like, what if you saw something like this, how would the government not, like, fly in and be like, all right, we're going down to find it. Well, that's what you're arguing that probably is going on, right? Maybe they did. Yeah. Maybe this video came out. They go down there. They capture all those things and they go, oh, that's just a performance art piece. Make us some costumes. It looks like. Yeah. And then now these little beings are in some laboratory and they're cutting them open going, what is this?

so they can release it in 40 years and go, they are real. And then we'll all go, I don't believe it. You know, Mexico can deliver it out and go, we got the bodies right here. And we're like, nah, nah, nah. And I don't know. I'm not saying they're real. I don't, I just like the idea that this is. Yeah. Yeah. It would be fun. There's a, uh,

Native American tribe that talked about these group of giants that all had red hair. And they said they legend was they would fight, fight these giants. This was in Nevada. And of course people just thought it was myth and legend. And I mean, a lot of people still do, but then in like 1911, they found, uh, giant skulls and remains in a cave in Lovelock, Nevada.

Right where this tribe lived and they found red hair and they found a bunch of other like giant footprints and things like that. So there's a lot of evidence that maybe there was something to these legends. Yeah, there's a lot of Native American paintings and stuff with these six finger, six toed giants that was living here back in that time. Yeah.

Yeah. Red-haired cannibalistic giants. Yeah. Mummified remains of a man six feet, six inches tall were discovered. All right. Well, that's not that impressive. You know my thing about the – didn't we talk about the basketball players being like in 50 years they're all seven feet? Yeah. I mean, I'm seeing videos all the time now.

And maybe because, look, it's like a 12-year-old that's 6'10". Yeah, yeah. This, you know. Yeah. You're like, what? And they're all dribbling. They're all shooting. They're all playing like they're 5'8". Yes. I mean, you know, it's like eventually 50 years. Like, I mean, there might be –

So in 1911, you find a six foot six. It's just crazy. You're like, oh my God, guy is a giant. Yeah. Six foot six. You've never seen a human being that tall in 1911. Yeah. I didn't read this. That's Wikipedia. I've watched a history channel video, which is weird to me. The history channel is even getting into the cryptid stuff, but this was narrated about William Shatner. Oh, really? Yeah. They were like, it was nine feet tall and all this stuff, but.

Dusty, I figured you'd be more on board with the Native Americans. Well, yeah. I mean, I think that their accounts mean something. And if they said that they saw it, then we should give them some credit. But instead, we're like, I don't know. We found six foot six mommy. Nah, that's not that tall. You know what I mean? This was discovered in 1911. N-O-A-A.

Almost 90 something years. Yeah. They've been around a while. 1911. No way. You cannot get past that. They've already been there 90 years in. They've been scanning the ocean for almost 100 years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Before the light bulb wasn't. Yeah. They've been just going around. Yeah. We've been doing 200 years. Why is it such a big deal that they were red hair? They seem to point that out a bunch.

And why is that scarier than if they all had brown hair? That's a good question. What color is your hair red? Brown. Oh, yeah. I think a lot of Native Americans had black hair, right? So it's like if you're living here, yeah, and then there's a giant race and they all have red hair. But don't you agree that if you're given two scenarios where a giant's running at you, it's a little more creepy if it has red hair? Yeah. Yeah.

If they all had red hair. Yeah. I mean, if it's a big giant, I mean, they talk about having six fingers, six toes. Some say two rows of teeth. I mean, all pretty scary. Double-decker. Yeah. Well, there was also- And red hair, which might be the scariest. Yeah. Well, there was also the Kandahar giant. Y'all heard of that? No. When troops were in Afghanistan-

The story is a troop, a whole group turned up missing. They sent another special forces group to look for him in these caves in Afghanistan. And a giant came out and he had red hair and he attacked this troop and they finally shot him and killed him. And, uh, then what after what happened to him after that, nobody knows, but,

Legend is that, you know, this troops in Afghanistan found this giant a cave. Yeah. See, I don't see why all this stuff is so crazy, right? Like we believe in a Tyrannosaurus Rex. We believe in a flying pterodactyl. We believe in all these things. It's like, okay, so you have a big human.

Because they're supposed to be gone, I think. Well, and because we have fossils of those things. Yeah. We have nothing. Yeah, but you do actually. You have a full body, which is... Well, that we've seen. Yeah. But I mean, I think that's supposed to not... That's not supposed to be here. And that's the problem. And so, yeah. They say it was redheaded too? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how that doesn't... I don't know how in a war...

Two countries can't come together and go, let's maybe hold off on each other and let's go find these giant red-haired men in these caves. Time out. Hold on. Guys, guys, guys. I would think even the Taliban would be like, all right, we're open to that. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. But it's like, think about this. Like the common belief seems to be that we're getting larger, right? We were a smaller people before and now we're getting larger. So evidence of larger beings like that would, would, would undermine that. So it would change the whole view of things. Well, I think somebody that big, it would, it's,

Much bigger than us even now. It's not like it's big relative to somebody from a thousand years ago. They're like, they're giants. Yeah. Yeah. Like the Nephilim. Yeah. I mean, I mean, and that's all stuff that's talked about. I mean, historical things. Maybe we had to be that big, but we don't because, you know, just depends on.

Trensaurus Rex, they're big, so they needed to be the size of like a, think of a little turtle now. We're not scared of a turtle. So for us not to be scared of Trensaurus Rex, we needed to be as big as that. That's true. Yeah.

Yeah. And again, I don't know, but it is, it is interesting that they do have all these accounts, different places, different people are like, yeah, we saw this thing, but everybody's like, nah, that's just a myth. Like the idea, I don't know, you know, when they, it's like you, you're evolved over time to get used to something. And I always like, you have to think, you're like, well, I can't do that. And you think, uh, I won't worry about it. Cause in a million years, we'll be able to do it.

Yeah, I mean, we'll be on our way to Mars and looking to jump to the next planet. But isn't it like what's like an animal has to evolve to...

uh, eventually like, it's like, I don't know if like there say we were all underwater and then some got to go out of water. Yeah. So, well, they have to change. Yeah. So, which is the accepted belief, by the way, that we evolved, we have human beings evolved from a water, water. That's where we started, came out of the water onto land. Yeah. So, so,

And that's what I'm saying. And I'm not trying to say anything. It's just funny to me to be like, the first one came out and died immediately. And they're like, this is not good. And then they kept coming. And then I guess they make it a little bit farther. And then the females and the males were evolving at the same time so that they could reproduce. Otherwise, they would not be able to have babies. That's how it works, right?

Or maybe a creature had a genetic mutation that allowed it to stay out of water for a few more seconds than the average creature, right? That allowed it to hop out of the water and eat more than the other creatures. Natural selection says- But it would have to be two at the same time though, right? You have to be a-

Yeah, that's okay. I didn't mean to cut you off that aggressively. That's what I'm saying. Start calling you NASA. Natural selection says that's the creature that's going to breed more than the one that can eat more. I mean, you're competing for resource. It's going to breed more, right? And then pass that genetic mutation down to its offspring. And then that one breeds more. But do they really have positive genetic mutations? Oh, all the time.

You don't think there's any like anomalies of people that can jump farther than other people or people that are smarter than other people? We all have genetic differences. But what makes being able to jump farther than somebody a mutation? Because it's not, you know, I mean, like you just. You have like a little extra thumb on your heel. When I say a genetic mutation, I mean a genetic difference. That's just a product of random chance.

You know, it's a lot of I mean, yeah, I mean, but yeah, there will be like a lot of random chances to get us from like the the water to the land to to be in a. Well, yeah, today we're talking millions of years of chances. That's what millions of years of this. So it's going to play out over time. Now, you know, people whose arms are longer than other people's. Right. Yeah.

Well, yeah. I mean, lots of people are just different sizes. That's what I'm saying. If your arms are long. I have four.

But like a person who has long arms and they have a baby with someone, like their kid's arms not necessarily just longer than that. And then the next thing you know, people are dragging with their arms on the ground. But I'm saying if all the food in the world's hanging from a tree and only the people with long arms can reach it, those are the people that are going to breed and pass down long-armedness to the next generation. That sort of evolution...

Yeah, makes sense. But the- Well, that's all it is. It's just that with a ton of different variables over a long period of time. Yeah, but to get from nothing, essentially, because there would- Single-celled organism. But there would be, but either way, I mean, there had to be nothing before the single-celled organism. Because at some point there had to be-

Nothing, right? Unless God created everything, unless there was an ultimate creator, whatever you'd like to call it, then there would have to be nothing at some point.

Because the idea is that God exists outside of time. Space time, yeah. So time means nothing to God. So there would have to be a creator or otherwise there would have to be nothing. And then something comes from nothing. Which some people argue. I think Stephen Hawking said that, that he thinks the Big Bang, before the Big Bang, there was just nothing. And then it happened.

Man. But you were- Right, right. I mean, that makes sense. I mean, unless something created it that exists outside of time- Sure. Then there would have to be nothing before something. I think if Ian Baver was like-

What do they talk about Notre Dame? What do they talk about Panama City Community College? These are the conversations that Notre Dame's doing this. Right, but what would be the other scenario? I don't know. I'm just saying I enjoy that it's like they really should throw us some regular folk into – we should be able to get into the real colleges just so we can be like – Observe. Just go like, wait a second. Yeah.

You need a couple. A variable. Yeah, that idea of a variable. Like show the racing, Olympic racing. Show a regular person to show off fast. And look, sometimes my initial reaction is to scoff at what I think is a dumb question. And then I go, well, I don't really know how to answer that. That happens a lot. Right, because some people say that, well, God set evolution into motion. But it's like, or. That's what all Christians believe for.

Almost 2000 years. Well, I don't know if all of them, I don't know if you can account for all of them, but you would also. That's a wild statement, Aaron. Aaron just said all of them, everybody. And he, everybody knows he meant all. Yeah, I don't think you could know that. Evolution wasn't a theory until the 1800s, but anyway.

But it's like, you know, you could just believe that- National Ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when they already vented. That's when they got started, yeah. But, you know, God could, you know, have potentially just created everything with a purpose, with no need to, you know, and I believe in the whole idea that Galapagos Islands thing where the beaks, some beaks are stronger to crack the nuts. Right, right. And so you end up with the stronger beaked birds and the weak beaked birds die. Right. But I just think that's a leap to me.

To get from a fish to a man. And I realize over millions of years, but it would be a lot of different chances- For sure. To get to that place. I don't think anybody's denying that. Yeah. Do you think if a fish, say your fish-

That's now turned into you. Be a great swimmer. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's why you're so confident in your swimming. Do you think he would be disappointed where he's at or you think he's, you know, he's like, this is a million years. This is all we got. Well, that's another thing too. He's like, I'm on Netflix. When did the, uh, evolved being, uh, get consciousness? You know, did that fish always have it? Uh,

I think he knew he was going to get Netflix one day. Yeah. He had a dream. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, at what point are we going along? And they were like, now I'm aware that I'm a being. There was a dusty slate. There was a dusty slate fish. Do you think that dogs have consciousness? No. I don't think they have a rational mind. So why would some things get it and other things not get it?

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, that's the big question. But you were making a point at the start of this, I think might actually be interesting, that we shouldn't worry about a million years from now because what are you trying to say? That we'll evolve to the point where it'll just take care of itself? Yeah.

Yeah. Like it's all going to just, like you shouldn't worry about anything. We evolved to live without the sun. Yeah. If there was ever something that, yeah, you would just figure a way out. Yeah. We don't eat stuff anymore. We don't eat plants. Yeah. If you have a cold time, you would just. Well, figure a way out is what he's saying. You start going to other planets and you live somewhere else. No, I'm saying you figure it out as the person. Why leave the earth? We just adapt to it over time.

Yeah. We could be that. That's what the dinosaur said. We could be the human that could live for a couple extra seconds without oxygen. Well, some of the dinosaurs did adapt. If it's alligators and...

and whatever he said. Birds, like, so they would have adapted. They just, you know, they changed it up. So it's like, they just were like, hey, let's not be so big. That's what they said. That's what they all agreed on. They voted on it. They go, y'all want to start not being as big? They go, yeah, let's be.

Yeah, here we are. That's true. I'm behind on my ads. So Aaron, what tells us about delete me? Oh, I've been waiting the whole episode to talk about delete me folks. We are so excited to tell you about our new sponsor delete me. Nate and Laura have been using it for a long time and I signed up onboarding was easy and they send out monthly reports and I was surprised what they started removing for me. I just checked out my report. I mean like 70 different websites. My address was on.

My name, my email, my phone number. They've removed all of it. Tinder? For me. Your website? Yeah. But you said it wrong? Probably. I say a lot of things wrong. It's a Latinx. It's a what? Latinx Bigfoot. I think that's how you're supposed to say it.

Wow, look at this guy. This is like part fish, part man right now. Isn't it Mexico? Yeah, I think Mexico is where it's prominent. Yeah. This did not, I would have thought this has been around for maybe hundreds of years, the legend. It maybe has in some ways, but 1995. That's what probably NOA was invented then. Yeah. NOA. NOA. NOA. They don't want to say that, but you're going to go flip. They should be flipped. Right. True Cobber should be from 1823. Yeah, yeah.

Chupacabra literally means goat sucker in Spanish. Yeah. So people turn up with their, pretty much that their livestock killed goats and something that there was holes where something had bit them and suck blood out of them and,

Now, I read where the woman who first claimed this chupacabra was in Puerto Rico, and she just watched the movie Species, which has an animal that looks exactly like that. Oh, okay. And she was a little delusional and thought that that was like a real thing, the movie. But it caught on. It caught on. Now, you might say the government is trying to make her look crazy. Well, if she was just watching the movie and then she described the thing that was in the movie –

But maybe that's what the government's saying she did to try to discredit her. And maybe the thing in species was based off this. Yeah. It evolved. Maybe there really is no imagination. It's just people seeing things. Now, there was a video. A movie about this. Do you have the video of the chupacabra from last week? Yeah. I think you said it. Here we go. This will get to the bottom of it right here. Here we go. Let's watch it. This is. Might have caused the mythical chupacabra creatures.

This is in California last week. Oh, boy. It's like a wolf. Is this the one I sent you? Yes. Oh, okay. Look at that thing. That looks like a wolf mid-evolution. If you're listening, it's a video from the news of a really scary looking wolf. Yeah, it's a... I just read the closed captioning. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's a coyote with mange is what people are saying, but it looks, I understand if you ran into that at nighttime, you'd be like, oh my gosh, dude, that thing is terrifying. Definitely doesn't look like the description that we were just seeing.

What do you mean? Well, that Wikipedia of the chupacabra or whatever, they ain't looking the same there. This looks like a werewolf caught. He's like partial full moon. On the Wikipedia, it says that in Hispanic America, in Puerto Rico, it's generally described as a heavy creature, reptilian and alien-like, while in the southwestern U.S., it's always depicted as more dog-like. Oh, okay. So this fits the American understanding of it.

Do you think you could call any animal over to you? You know, you call a dog. Some people just have it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like they just relate to animals. Yeah. You think you could do it? I think, you know, people do lions and you go, hey now. Yeah. You think that's what you would do? Say you're backed in a corner with one of these. A chupacabra. Chupacabra. And you just go like.

He's like, get one out of here. High five. That thing's wild, though. That does look like a werewolf mid-transition. Yeah, yeah. Look at that back leg. It's like it's got two joints.

He's just been through it, man. He's a guy. He thinks he had a rough life. Yeah. I think he put that thing out of its misery. You know what I mean? It almost looks like a half bat, half dog. It does. It really does. Bat dog. Maybe some kind of science experiment gone wrong. Oh, yeah. Escape from a lab. Some scientists were like, let's try to blend a dog and a bat together. See what happens. Yeah. Have they ever created an animal?

Like, I guess, Labradoodles or dogs, you know, the breeds. Like, what are they? You just start throwing some stuff together. Yeah, they're talking about bringing animals back that have gone extinct. Yeah, they talk about that all the time. Is that actually going to happen? I mean, they're still talking about it. I've seen them grow up. We're going to put the woolly mammoth there. I was going to say, who gives birth to the woolly mammoth? I understand taking the DNA and cloning, like, a...

A zygote. Maybe 3D print it. That's the part you understand. Not really understand, but I get that. I mean, obviously DNA clothing, blah, blah, blah. But who's going to carry this man? I just don't know how they give birth to him. Where are you going to put it? Kentucky?

Kansas is a bit of land. That doesn't feel woolly mammoth-y. It needs to be colder, doesn't it? Kentucky feels it, maybe because mammoth cave, I'm thinking. Oh, yeah. Kentucky feels like a good woolly mammoth. Oh, yeah. Maybe like where Aaron was at, Edmonton. Alberta. Oh, yeah. That's where you throw them up there. Yeah, because they have fur, right? Mm-hmm. I mean, I think from our previous episode, we talked about it, and they're talking...

Talking about breeding just two really hairy elephants. There we go. And then what's the hope? We're trying to get, I bet it's someone that works there goes, we're basically trying to get an elephant with a jacket. Long arms. Sorry. Elephant with long arms. That's just a taller elephant. At that point, it stands on its arms.

I think, you know, there's like a thing where they grew a human ear on the back of a rat, you know, to like help, you know, grow prosthetics for people. So I think. Yeah, look at this. That's like Kramer's pig man. You know, I'm like, yeah, that's like.

The Vakanti mouse was a laboratory mouse that had what looked like a human ear grown on its back. The ear was actually an ear-shaped cartilage structure grown by seeding cow cartilage cells into biodegradable ear-shaped mold and then implanted under the skin of the mouse. So an ear. They built an ear on its back. Yeah, and they cut that thing off, put it on a person missing an ear.

Wow. What does it do? Get that rat ear. I mean, but you got to like for them to do all that. Like, this is the stuff that I'm saying. Like, they're like, yeah, so we're working on that. You're like, yeah, what about cancer though? Like how many people. You said to stop cancer funding to search for the Loch Ness monster. I'm saying you get something done. Yeah. But I'm saying this is the problem. They could do this ear thing and you're like.

How many people have one ear? 30, 40? Like, I mean, you're like, it's for all the people that are missing ears. You're like, well, we don't hear that much about the ears. So if you can do it. Especially if you're missing your ear, you don't hear a lot about it. You don't hear a lot about it. So I'm not saying we don't ever want to fix ears.

But like, is that not a whole lab? We could be like, let's have you guys work on some cancer. They go, no, we're going to do the ear thing. Yeah, we're going to be growing noses next. They go, I read about a guy that has one nostril is all skin. So we're going to get a rat and make a nostril hole. Yeah. I think they're trying to grow human parts with pigs too.

Like, because they say the pig is the closest. Internally, the pig is the closest to being a human, I think. Like the organs and the. Did you ever dissect a pig or anything at the high school? A baby pig in high school. Yeah, we did too. Yeah. What? Yeah. We did that in Alabama. Where did y'all go to? We were big into it in Alabama. It was like maybe like this big. No, no. I've never even heard of that. We ate it for lunch later. We dissected a cat.

Oh, wow. What did you go? What was y'all's class at under your trailer? Yeah. I mean, it was. We dissected a frog. We actually had. I think we did a frog too. We had so many cats. I mean, everybody, like, I think it was two people would have a cat. I mean, it was like, there was a lot of cats. I thought you were going to say two cats to every person. Was it like a fully grown cat or like a cat feed? Yeah, like a fully grown cat. I don't think I did mine because I think I was like, I was like, I can't do it.

It's so disgusting. It is gross. I remember doing the pig being like, this looks like a human being. Yeah. You know, just it's laid out its arms and legs and everything. We did owl pellets. Do you ever do that? I don't. Oh, maybe we did. We see little insects and skulls and stuff in there. Yeah. And then you're a scientist. Worms, frogs. And then, yeah, pig was the big one, though.

I did a lot of animals. Yeah. We dissected a bunch. Where? In school. In Alabama. Yeah. In school. That's crazy. I never even thought that different states would, we did a frog and that was it. We did a worm too. Did you do the worm? Yeah. There's a good chance I never made it up to this level of science. This is fifth grade. We did that. I was in high school. Yeah. I was. Yeah. I think mine was my senior year. It was a frog. The pig was high school. Yeah. Yeah.

I believe it was 10th grade for me. Anatomy was the class. I was 10th grade, but it was biology. So there's... I did not like it. And I'm not grossed out easily, but the formaldehyde smell. Oh, yeah. And then the cats also had, they were real fat. So you really had to cut through all this fatty. Oh, jeez. Oh, so gross. And fur? Yeah.

Now, I think they had taken the fur off or something. Did anybody ever do the joke where they go, where'd you get this cat? I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. Probably a fun one.

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the new Helix Elite Collection, a mattress. S-A-N-I-C-H-A-R. How does he have a name? Well, after he was found. Prior to that, his name was Ho. But they found him in a cave raised by wolves. Oh, can you blow that picture out? Oh, yeah. I don't know if I want to that much. Yeah. He's kind of posing like a wolf, too. Poor guy. They said he never caught on to most things.

But we do. He did pick up smoking, though. Did he really? Yeah. Well, I mean, Buss has already probably needed it. Yeah. How old was he? I mean, I know they might not be able to know the age exactly. Around six. Oh, when they found him, he was around six? Yeah. Well, he said he's 1860 or...

Or 1861 to 95. He lived to be 35, I think, but I think he was around six when they found him. Why not just leave him with the wolves? He seemed to be doing all right. When he arrived at the orphanage, he reportedly walked on all fours and ate raw meat. Yeah, it's like the dude's being raised by wolves and you go, let's get you out of here and get you into an orphanage so some other kids can pick on you.

I still feel like that was the right thing to do. I say let him stay with the wolves. He'll just leave a six-year-old out there with the wolves. But he survived six years with the wolves. Even for 20 years. Yeah. Yeah. He died of tuberculosis. Yeah. Probably from the smoke. Yeah, he would have been fine out there with the wolves. And there's a woman, this was recently. I want to live with wolves. She's still alive. By the way, guess what's been rolling for...

40 years when they found this guy. Guy lives with wolves. 40 years deep in OAA. Know what's going on, man. Know what was rolling. There's a woman named Oksana Malaya. O-X-A-N-A.

Can you look her up? Yeah. M-A-L-A-Y-A. She was raised by dogs and she's still alive. This was within the last, you know, few years, I think. And they found her. She's doing good now. I think she has a boyfriend. Oh, that's nice. No picture of her though, huh? No, there's some video of her. Oh, yeah. We'll find her. I'd like to get an idea. I mean, she's got a boyfriend. I'd like to see what she's looking like. Yeah. She's doing well now. Oh, she's like a new home? I mean, relatively speaking. There she is. Oh, yeah.

It was difficult for her to shed her dog-like tendencies. I bet. Get out. Get out. Rub my belly. Because the boyfriend has, get off the couch. Get off the couch. And she's like, sorry. But she's doing good. I think she's adjusted. And like I said, she may be married. She's found at 23.

I can't remember when they found her, but she's... She was living with dogs for 23 years and you're like, let's get this girl a boyfriend. Yeah. I don't think they took her straight from the dogs to meet a guy. She was on a dating site the next day. But...

She does not like to be called dog girl. Oh, that's fair. You know what? That is fair. It's like, come on, Malaya. Well, yeah. Dog girl. What did, how did she get started in the dogs? I forgot. I think her mom abandoned her or something. Yeah.

I mean, all that stuff's really sad, obviously. But I'm just saying, if you're a kid and you survive for six years with wolves, I mean, that's some peak learning years. Yeah. And now they're like, yeah, I got to get you into an orphanage, man. And I just feel like that would be really hard. She was reunited with her father. She got reunited with her father in 2003. There's a documentary about this. I might watch this.

This is amazing. How old was she when she was... I mean, her father's holding her there. Is that how old she was when... Oh, no. They let her down and said, go on, get out of here. Because like... I mean, that's crazy. She's still running. It is crazy. Okay. So it says, most experts agree that children generally have until five to learn to speak before the brain loses the capacity to develop language. So she must have picked up a little bit before...

She was cast out with the dogs or else there's no way she'd be able to pick it up. So you don't learn language by the time you're five. You just can't learn it? Evidently. Wow. You obviously can learn a second language.

But you have to know the first one? Yeah, just I guess. I mean, that doesn't look like a very reputable website. Speech development. I don't think people really learn. I don't know. But I don't think they really learn second language as well as adults, right? Like it's best if you learn it as a kid. That's true. Yeah.

Well, is she playing basketball there? Is she on the sideline right there? What are you saying? Oh, that looks like a basketball jersey. No. It looks like she's sitting off. She's warming the bench. Yeah, she's off. Is this Air Bud? Yeah, that's the true story of Air Bud right there. Yeah, and that's what I could get off. Ever tried to put a sweater on a dog? Yeah.

Sorry, Malaya, we'd love to have you on the pod. Whoa. We'd love to have you on the pod. Yeah, that is terrible. Yeah. Yeah, it's awful. Yeah. Imagine the guy date. I mean, the guy, he goes, I got a date tonight. Who with? Malaya. The dog girl? Hey. She doesn't like that. Hey, that's my girl you're talking about.

I go to a nice dinner. I take a steak. She's like, hers in a bowl. On the floor. Table for one. I'll just have her around my legs. She's under the table.

Bless her heart. I got her tails wagging. Yeah. Thunderbirds. You guys heard of Thunderbirds? The car? There's cars. There's sports teams. I never thought what that meant. T-Birds from Greece? Yep. Native Americans have often had this legend of Thunderbirds, and they've had drawings of this giant bird that comes out of the sky. And of all places, Tombstone, Arizona...

Uh, there's a newspaper article about some ranchers that had a giant bird swooped down that they described like a pterodactyl and they said they killed it. And, um, there wasn't a picture in that particular newspaper with the story, but I haven't seen that one.

But there's a different one of guys who said a better one than that. That might be the worst quality picture I've ever seen. There's a good one. There's a really good one. No, it wasn't. That one right there. Oh, this one. Oh, that's a pterodactyl. That feels like an AI generated picture. It does, dude. It's probably fake, but they did that in the 1800s. I mean, that picture has been around for a while. Has it?

At least 10, 15 years. I don't know. That's a dragon. 126 years ago. You don't think it's a pterodactyl? 1890. Well, I think pterodactyls are dragons. 70 years in. 1890. And guess what? 70 years. I mean, an old company. This is what they were. That's how early they got started. Older than Apple is right now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Older than Microsoft. Older than all this. They weren't even. Well, no, they weren't even thought about.

I thought you meant older than an actual Apple, which they might be. Noah. I'm saying back then it was older than those companies are now. Oh, yeah, yeah. Those companies that are like so ingrained in our life. Oh, like Apple. Yeah, yeah. How old? Yeah, Apple's not 70. Apple's, yeah. What, 40 years old? 70, yeah. Yeah. Noah was double the length of Apple.

And then they didn't swing on up to Arizona and go –

Let's take a look at that bird. Yeah, where are they at on this? Why does it not have a report that Noah came up and checked it out? They go, well, was it in the atmosphere? It's not our concern. The people back then are like, the what? Yeah. Yeah, we're done.

Yeah. Like I would think in 1823, you would have more of what we did know. So yeah, it'd be more like national only ocean stuff only like you'd be. That's how they're naming stuff back there. Yeah. But they've celebrated 200 years. And some lake stuff, some lake and river, some lake and river stuff.

Well, I'll probably get a lot of hateful comments on this podcast. About what? I'll get some hateful. We both will. I'll let Joanna Marie Zimmerman down. We both will. This is just how Dusty and I talk to each other. Yeah, we've been on a lot of road trips. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. No, I think it went good. I've always known that Aaron believed this way and he's known that I believe this way. This is not new. Right. Mm-hmm.

I just have Brian here to instigate it. I know. Making, you know, desperate attempts to be like, let's get back to jokes, guys. No, I don't think it was bad. No, no, we're having a good time. We are having a good time. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I mean, we don't have your mic plugged in. We can't, we can never afford to do that. Yeah. It's too risky. Yeah. Uh, all right. Uh,

I gotta get ready for Manicast. Yeah. Uh, yeah. I'm in, uh, Iowa this week. It's the two, two of the rescheduled shows from the SNL thing. So, uh, I'll be, uh, yeah, there this week in the new year's Eve in, uh, sunrise, Florida, uh, doing, uh, the arena there. It's, uh, me, uh, I'll be headlining then my dad and, and, uh,

Mike Vecchione, Greg Warren, Joe Zimmerman. Yeah. And then Julie McCullough hosting. It's, yeah, a challenge you to find. I mean, like, pound for pound, that show is going to be ridiculous. Right, right. It's, I mean, going to be insane. So we're very pumped about that. So, yeah, we'll be down there.

Uh, this Friday I'm with Henry Cho at the Shoals Theater in Florence, Alabama. That's a cool theater. Yeah. And then I'm back on the Christmas party circuit. There we go. Going to Delaware for the first time ever. Never been to Delaware. I'm there Saturday and Sunday in Dover, Delaware. All right.

That's awesome. This weekend, I'm in Tampa, Florida at Side Splitter. All right. Great club. Comedy club. Yeah, great club. Love it down there. I'm down here all weekend, Thursday, Friday, or Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And then one more thing. I'm at Zany's. I'm co-headlining Zany's with two friends of mine, Laura Peek and Casey Shornima. All right. Casey's a writer on SNL. Laura Peek's in LA, a regular at the store. They're both funny. All weekend at Zany's, December 22nd and 23rd, like Christmas weekend. Your triad line.

Oh, yeah. Triple feature. That doesn't only mean two, does it? I thought it did. Maybe. I'll be... December 18th, I'm at Zany's doing a show. We're co-hosts of the podcast. I don't think we are, though. I think we're tri-hosts. Quad host. He says co-host. I think it's wrong. Oh, he doesn't. He's never co-headlined. Yeah, December 18th, I'll be at Zany's. Hot show. I'm sorry, go ahead. I'm just going with it. And...

New Year's Salt Lake City. Wise guys. Awesome. I got a little time off. So that's fun. Could be working the year. But I am taking the time off. Feels good. It's your choice. Yeah. I'm going to be around just hanging out with the family. I'm going to be out on the land. I'm building some things for the land that I'll be filming. How much time are you taking off? Just two weekends. Okay. Yeah.

Not that, yeah, I'll be back New Year's. I'm doing, I'm doing a show actually, you know, yesterday and then on Monday, December 18th at Zany's in Nashville and then New Year's. So it's going to be great. I mean, we're having a great time. Having a great time. January 16th, this special is coming out and I think I'm going to be very busy. So I'm enjoying a little time off before.

Yeah, yeah. Everybody, January 16th, Netflix, start of the year. I mean, that's going to be fun. Yeah. Just, you know, getting the year going and just pop in.

It'll be a big year for you to see. It's a big year, dude. I'm excited. Yeah, I'm pumped. We're pumped, guys. We're having a good time. If I don't get canceled after this podcast episode and now we're having a good time. No, yeah. I think you would have already been. Yeah. I don't think it's going to be a shock to anyone. Actually, it's probably nothing that I've never not said on here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then your own podcast. I mean, you even go more into it. Yeah. I mean, I'll probably do some extensive explaining about this one.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go hash it out over there. Uh, all right. Uh,

I'll be back though before the year. Yeah. You'll be, uh, you'll be here next week. Yeah. I'm here next week. All right. And then, uh, all right. So I'll see you then. And this is the last time all four of us will be, I think for like a month. You're going to be out a couple. Dusty's going to be out a couple. So I'll miss you guys, man. Yeah. Yeah. Well, some, one of us will be, or one of us not as all four of us. So we won't be, uh,

Till after New Year's. Yeah, there won't be any quad headlining until after. Quad headlining until after New Year's. I mean, quad hosting, sorry. Yeah. Well, as a group, guys, Happy New Year. Congrats on everything. We love you, as always. And yeah, we'll see you next week. All right, bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

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