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cover of episode 174: #174 Pets

174: #174 Pets

2023/11/15
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Hello, folks, and hey, bear. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate, where it gets you, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slick. All right. All right. We're back. It's the kid's birthday.

Oh, yeah. Happy birthday. Thanks, man. You are the kid of this. I know. Isn't that wild? I'm 32. I'm not a kid by any metric anymore. Kind of wore off. Did you get that starter jacket for your birthday? I did. My wife got me this. All right. Yeah. Big coat. Not quite the weather for it yet, but it does feel it's very comfortable. Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is comfortable. It has a lot.

I'd imagine that's what, I mean, I would like it for that reason just cause you're. I'm less vulnerable in it. Yeah. Yeah. You do. I like, I like being zipped up. Uh, always have been. And I see like, that's very, you know, just big. You don't know what's going on there. You know, when I was growing up, a starter jacket was a cool cover for not having cool clothes every day.

Like the starter jacket itself was cool. So you didn't have to have cool clothes. You just wear the starter jacket all day. Could have been shirtless underneath it. Could have been. Who knows? Yeah. You put a lot of stuff in this pocket. Oh yeah. All kinds of snacks in there. You got snacks in there right now. He's got loose Oreo cookies in there. I mean, I look at those old videos when we started it, you would have filled that starter jacket, but now you look good. Hey, thanks. Yeah. I appreciate it, man. Yeah. Yeah.

It's going to be a good year, dude. It's going to be a good year. 30, 33rd year. Oh, I was like, yeah. No. Yeah. Of me. This is, so you're 33 now? I'm 32. So this is my 33rd year. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Is that how y'all do your birthdays in the Weber house? Oh,

Get real technical with it. Yeah, real technical. It's like, say, a 19th century for 1800s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same kind of thing. Yeah. Your dad's birthday was yesterday. Yep. And I realized that he and I are closer than Aaron and I. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. I think a lot about that stuff. Yeah. Well, it gets brought up pretty quick on this podcast, so just thought I'd go ahead and get ahead of it. Yeah. My dad's 68. Yeah.

I saw y'all brought a cake out for his birthday in Vegas. Yeah, it was fun. We had, uh, uh, I mean, we have, uh, we have a whole video of other stuff. I guess we're, we should, but I mean, it was, the whole thing was like, all right, we're, we're gonna bring the cake out. I'm gonna, you know, I won't bring everybody back on stage for an encore or just not an encore, but just come out and everybody wave. And, uh,

I told, you know, we had, we told everybody, we didn't tell Nick cause Nick is Nick's pretty tough to keep things under the wraps. He'll, you know, he started knowing towards the end and then he gets, he'll just, it looks like you go, well, what's going on?

Cause he won't say, and he's like, well, my dad's like asking him stuff. And we had to tell him cause you know, we kept it from him until the last point we could. And then he's like eating. And then, you know, and he's just looking at my dad, like, and so then I'm on stage and,

And I'm like, all right, I'm going to do it. And so I finish up and then I say, all right, hey, we're going to bring everybody out. So everybody come on back out. Nobody's coming out. Nobody. This has been planned for two days. Yeah. Nobody's coming out. And then I was like, well, where is everybody? You know, everybody's standing up clapping. The show's over. He's feeling comfortable.

And then finally I see Nick and I go, oh, Nick's coming out. I was like, all right, everybody take your time. Just a live show. Nothing to worry about.

And then, you know, then my Joe and my dad, I mean, they were all backstage as if the show ended three hours ago. No urgency at all. No urgency at all. Nick was eating a big steak. I think, and then Travis gave all like, you know, they got a 10 minute warning being like, hey, we're close. Yeah. So be ready. And just, I mean, they all, and then, so then-

And then Travis brought the cake out as a surprise. And then all the crowd, we sang happy birthday. So it was very cool. Yeah. Yeah. Cause then you do something nice. You still get, you're up there frustrated. Like, what are we doing? Come on everybody. Like I'm still going to stay in there. And then so, but it was, uh, yeah, it was super cool. Super cool. So yeah, we had to do good. Vegas was good. Vegas was a fun time. And before that you presented the CMAs. I did. Yeah. The CMAs were, uh,

You know, very fun. I followed Tanya Tucker. Yeah, I lost a bet because of that. Oh, really? Brian and I were watching it in the Zanies green room. We were betting on when you would go up. Yeah, I won 20 bucks off of that. Oh, really? Brian was like, I think Nate's coming right up after the commercial break. I was like, nah.

I mean, it was a very, this guy's got, maybe you have a gambling problem or just a lot of money to throw around. Cause it was very, I was just. Well, obviously look at his jacket. That was, you know, I never could. I never, my parent, we could never afford a star jacket. I got the other. This is my first ever one too. Yeah. I got, uh, cause it's probably looked down on when, uh,

The Weber family. It's like, that's what the poor kids wore. I had two, and I grew up in a trailer park. That's where people's priorities are at when you live in a trailer park. Yeah, well, that's the difference. Yeah, you're like. What kept us out of the trailer park is we at least chose milk over starter jackets. You didn't have dinner that night, but you had that jacket. I had two. I had two. I was like, yeah. Miami Dolphins and Auburn. I was like, it was big time. Yeah, I had whatever the other. There was another one that was not a starter jacket. Stopper?

Huh? Stopper? Stop jacket. Yeah. Yeah. It was, I forget. I forget too. I was trying to think. You know what I'm talking about though? Yeah. There was, I had some Jordans too from Dollar General that they, they made, Dollar General made a pair of Jordan shoes that looked like real, they looked like Jordan shoes, but they were Dollar General. They're DGs. Yeah. Yeah.

That's worse. They were Michael Jordan's brothers. And they go, you go, he was, you know, he's, they said he's the best one. At my school, if you got caught wearing the fake Jordans, people were ruthless to you. Yeah. It's worse to have the fake. A kid showed up with, it was the Jordan jump man, but you could see shoelaces on the Jordan logo. And dude, they tore this kid apart for that. That was a mug. That's nice. What do you mean? Well,

Was that in Montgomery? Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. I wouldn't do it. I didn't have Jordans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to be doing that down in Montgomery. You don't want no fake Jordans in Montgomery. But I don't have a gambling problem, Brian. I won the bet. It's only a problem when you lose. Yeah. We were sitting in the green room watching the CMAs waiting for you. And I just casually, it's commercial, Brian, I just casually say, I bet Nate's next. Yeah.

And Aaron just jumps on it. He's like, you want to bet? He said, I think they'll do another musical performance when they come back. Oh, wow. And he's like, you want to bet? And I'm like, okay, sure. And I thought he'd be like, buy me a whatever next time. 20 bucks. Yeah. He just put me on there. I wanted to mean something. All right. Who won male vocalist of the year?

It was your category, right? Yeah, it was Chris Stapleton. Okay. All right. Well, that makes sense.

I was going to say. It seems like, I don't, I mean, I have no interaction with him except what you saw on stage. Oh, yeah. And it doesn't seem like that's, it's the, I don't, I don't know him personally, but it's, I mean, there's, he never, I don't think he, he didn't look at me, which I thought was crazy. You know, you're like, I would think you would just look someone. I'm not putting my hand out and I'm, thankfully he even shook it. I didn't. And now I would just not even like, if I gave him an award, I would just,

stand back and just be like, let him like that dude is. I became a fan that night. Yeah. Good for you, buddy. Yeah. Well, Chris, his music is awesome. Obviously we like it, but we were talking about what a Nashville moment it would be if jelly roll and one, and then you hand the, you know, jelly roll would have, would have given you a hug probably. Oh, for sure. Uh, yeah. I mean, I honestly was hoping it would be jelly roll. Uh,

It would have been, yeah, it would have been a very special kind of thing. It's, I, you know, I, I, I re he's, he's a wonderful person, man. It's like, uh, he is a nice, a really wonderful person. He's one of them that you're like, yeah, he's a, he's rough around the edges and all this stuff, but it's that guy, uh, has worked very hard and it's, you know, and he gave that great speech and it's all very relatable just in the fact that, yeah, it takes a long time and,

You know, you got to just be around and, you know, I relate to it. And, you know, it's not like because you see people that are famous and you're like, they're 26 years old. Yeah. And they're and they're millionaires. And it's just and it's like they haven't even.

And they're not complaining about it because that's what you hope happens. But it's, it's the appreciation is much. That's why he's so appreciative and why it feels authentic is because it's truly appreciation. He was in jail at 26. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's lived, it looks like it's two different people's lives. Yeah. It doesn't, you would say that's not even the same person. That's your go. Well, that's those people probably don't even know each other. And you're like, no, it's the same guy. Yeah. He's a,

a wonderful, wonderful person and was very happy to see that new artist. It was super cool. It was cool to watch, man. We watched most of that award show after Brian's show at Zany's. It was the same night during the award show. Dusty was on it, too. Well, I'm happy to see that Joe Diffie wasn't around to see what they did to his songs that night. Yeah, I met his son. I mean, that tribute.

Gosh, that was bad. What are you talking about? It was so bad. Joe Dimfey's so great. And what they did to his songs. What'd they do? Just sang it. They just sang them. Who was it singing? I think you mean Jimmy Buffett. It was... No, it was... I'm joking. I don't know. I just... Post Malone? Morgan Whelan. Yeah. Post Malone and Hardy. And I was like, this is...

This is sad for me because Joe Diffie was really great. Yeah. It was a sad moment for me. At least Post Malone is not a country singer. So I didn't feel so bad. He seems pretty jacked. Yeah. Post Malone. Yeah. He's in good shape now. Yeah. He's very nice too. Like, I mean, he seems like the man, every clip I see of him. Yeah. He's the one that was working out before you guys.

at that place where y'all did a show uh yeah and the guy said yeah whatever so that's why he's jacked he's working out yeah yeah i mean he he's gotten in great shape uh i get told i look like him a lot in the face not we're not not the good shape part of it i guess the tattoos but the tiktok i get comments all the time fat malone all that kind of stuff stuff like that i like it now uh

Yeah, it's he's got a song on country radio right now. So you don't like that. Is it Pick Up Man? The Joe Diffie song? No, I don't. Joe Diffie was really great. And I just didn't I didn't care, at least with Post Malone. It's like he's not a country star. Right. So it's like when he sings it and it's not Joe Diffie, it's not it's OK. But the other guys are country singers. And I just I don't understand the logic of that at all.

What? Why is it better because he's not a country singer? Well, he's like a non-country singer attempting a country song. It's like there's no reason for Post Malone to know who Joe Diffie is, but the other two guys should know who Joe Diffie is. And they did. They did a tribute to him. Yeah, I know. It just wasn't good. Yeah. That's the point. That's what he's saying. Yeah. Okay. And it should be better because they're country singers. And a lot of people think that was you up there instead of Hardy. Yeah. Yeah.

I would have done a better job. Hardy sat right behind me. Yeah. I did not talk to him at all. Yeah, he's not very friendly. Is he? I don't think so. He's different than I thought he was. I think he's different than I thought he was going to be. Yeah. I mean, I didn't say a word to him, so he might be the nicest, but just being near him, I was a little like, oh, it's kind of not what I thought he would be.

They're young. I mean, he's a young guy. These guys get so famous. Well, that's true. I mean, they're famous. They get just, you know, and you have, it's a balance. Then you got Chris Stapleton, who I think is a very, like, he doesn't like to be around people or talk to people. Seems that way. I mean, when he gave that speech. Oh, no. Yeah, it's crazy. But when he gave that speech at the end, you're like, I couldn't even hear him.

Oh, really? So, I mean, because he's like this down. He's like going on and on. And then you're – it's just a moment that you want to – you want to go to him and go, like, just don't talk.

Maybe that's why he didn't look at you. Maybe he's just used to being out there playing music and just standing up accepting a war. Go be like... Have a little Marshawn Lynch kind of attitude. Just go like, thank you, I really appreciate it. I'm just here so I don't get fined. I think it means a lot to him. But it's...

Yeah, but I mean, yeah, I don't know. I mean, he just turned. I mean, thankfully, I honestly, when I put my hand out, I was like, I shouldn't be doing that moment because Lee Corso had already kind of snubbed you a few days earlier at the handshake. I thought if we get two in the same week, this would be my favorite week ever. Yeah, Stapleton never looked up. He just looked, you know.

I always thought you'd meet him and be like, hey, man, nice to meet you. But you wouldn't even have a moment. There's no energy of like, please say hi to me. It's an energy of I want to go back to where I – Morgan Wallen was in front of us too. His dad's coming to my show. His dad drives a truck still. That's cool. It's probably a nice truck. No, a semi-truck. Oh, okay. It's a truck driver. Okay. Yeah.

What'd you think he'd be like? I was going to say that. His dad's so young, he can still drive? Yeah. Still could be nice. No, it could still be a nice truck. He drives for, yeah, Old Dominion. Yeah, I bet it's a nice truck. You know, Old Dominion, it's a truck, but not the man. And he drives for them. And he still drives like... Wow. Because he said his... It was funny. I mean, I talked to Morgan just...

for one second. But then his dad leaned over once and he's like, you're the comedian because you don't want to beat Morgan's record, right? And I was like, well, I've been playing on that for a long time. Whatever. And then he goes, oh, it's good. He laughed nice. He's like, yeah, we're nice pastors, a fan or something. I was like, well, I'm coming to Knoxville if you want to go. And he was like, is it Monday, Thursday or something? He goes, I got to work, but weekends I can go. And you're like,

what? I'm like, you got to work. And it's, uh, and he's like, yeah, I'm a truck driver. And he just still, he still just drives his truck. Like a great dude. I like that guy. Yeah. Yeah. He was very nice. Yeah. He was very nice. And then, uh, yeah, I don't know. It's, it's a, it's a young, you know, it's, it's just different being there when everybody's just pretty young. Yeah. Yeah. I just grew up on nineties country and I love that country. I mean, that's my favorite. And yeah,

I don't. Well, they're still around too. Some of them. Yeah. I mean, if he died, but yeah, yeah. But yeah, they're Alan Jackson performed that night. Oh, Jack. Yeah. The Jimmy Buffett. He did the Jimmy Buffett tribute with Zach Brown. Yeah. I don't ever remember what he looks like, but he's like huge right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's ripped too. Oh, is he? Yeah. Yeah. He's gotten in good shape. Yeah.

Yeah, I heard he got a new wife, Zach Brown. Somebody yelled that out at my show. Really? What? Zach Brown has a new wife? Yeah. Why would they yell that out? Well, I made a joke. Well, it was off a joke I had. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So there's a Zac Brown and a Zac Bryan? Yeah, Zac Brown. I'm talking about Zac Brown. Oh, I'm talking about Zac Brown. We're talking about Zac Brown as well. He kind of looks like... Sometimes I think I look like that. Yeah. Wait, no, I'm thinking of Zac. You're thinking... Yeah, we're thinking different. You're thinking of Zac Bryan, the young guy? He's the one that's got... He has been. Zac Bryan. Zac Bryan. Isn't he the one that everybody's going crazy about? Yeah. Yeah, he sells a ton of tickets right now. Yeah. Can you imagine...

Think about the people that are listening to this that don't care about country music. I mean, what world? It's labeled country music. They can fast forward if they want to. It's not labeled. Yeah, we'll label it. You mean like the thumbnail, that little part? Yeah, we'll caption it off on YouTube. Oh, yeah, they can pass. I guess it has to be now. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah, because it's, yeah, I mean, they're just like, what? Who are these names?

But it's good. Yeah. Simei's were they were they were super fun. I went out there real quick. I had that one little thing. And it was after a change. Like, I mean, this she could stay in ovation. You know, people were crying. And then you're like, you know, that comic in you where you're like, I got to follow. I had it. You have to say something just because it's I mean, it's like an emotional kind of thing. I mean, they're sitting down and you're like, they're like, we got to go now.

And so then I'm already being rushed out there. And then you stand, you say it. What did she sing? Delta Dawn. Oh yeah. Delta Dawn. Is that good enough for you? That's a great, that's a great song, but I feel like, you know, it's like, that's like the, the main song that everybody knows Tanya Tucker for. And I just feel like it's such an old song that I wish she had more, you know, more like hits for herself because that's a huge song. And I love that song, but.

Yeah, it's a... She has like two sparrows and a hurricane. That song, that's a good one. Yeah. And she probably knew Joe Diffie, so she should have had some of that involved in there. She should have been in on that tribute. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Did you guys watch that tribute? Yeah, we were watching it. I mean, it's like. Yeah, God forbid the next generation pay homage to people of the past. Well, I'm glad they're paying homage, but I'm just saying. What were you watching? I just, well, I tried to find your clip online. I did not watch the whole thing, but I tried to find your clip. And so I ended up stumbling upon other clips and I thought, oh, here's a Joe Diffie tribute. This will be great. And then I was like, oh gosh. Yeah.

And then Post Malone came out and I was like, all right, well, this is a little better. Yeah.

Well, I came off stage at Zany's thinking everybody's going to be like, man, great, great job. And everybody was like, there's Nate. Because everybody's watching it on the TV. Just looking to see you. This is before you went up just in the audience. There's Laura. Yeah. Yeah. I think they showed us a lot. Two of y'all were on TV a bunch. Yeah. We were sitting in the real thick of it. I mean, it's, you're as a comedian going to there, met Peyton Manning too. Really? Yeah. Super nice. And then, but the, yeah, the,

Being a comedian in that world, you can feel it at home. You're just kind of like in a unicorn. Like there's just not... They're just all around each other. And so I imagine it's like anything. I mean, if an athlete... You know, as comedians, we're just kind of like off the radar of show business, even though it's becoming...

a much more mainstream thing. It goes from, you know, we were just, we're not in the mix of it all. We're not at the award show, you know, maybe we're hosting or something, but now a lot more people know. And so it's, I remember I felt that years ago, Dusty and I did the show with Brad Paisley at Zanies. And you remember when he showed up to the club, it

It was the first time I felt like, oh, this is like a different level of fame. Yeah. That I had not seen from comedians. Yeah. Like people outside going crazy. Remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He told me we were going to have some cigars together. Never heard from him.

I bombed so bad. Did you? Meeting him. You don't remember that? Oh, meeting him. I don't remember. Dude, we were aligned. It was me, you and Greg Warren. Yeah. And we're lined up and Brad Paisley goes, just tell me something about yourself. And he meets Dusty and Dusty goes, well, you know, I do comedy. I like to smoke cigars, hang out. And he goes, oh, comedy and cigars. That's great. We'll smoke a cigar one time. He turns to me and he goes, what about you? I just panic. I just go, same.

And he goes, comedy and cigars. And I was like, oh, I don't even really smoke cigars. Yeah. You know, I just completely bombed. Thought about that all night. Yes. I know.

Dang, that's tough. He's like, this guy's boring. This guy's got no personality. Hey, ditto, dude. So that's a big thing in the comedy community, huh? Y'all do comedy and smoke cigars? Then Greg Warren talks about peanut butter, and he's like, oh, gosh, you guys are the worst. I do comedy, sell peanut butter on the side. And they're like, that's a fun group we got here. Yeah, that's what I was. So, yeah.

Well, I was at Zany's great time at Zany's. These guys, like I said, were on the show. Dustin Nickerson was on the show. Hot show. It was a hot show. So your buddy was on it. He went way over his time and he was, but he was very funny. He was a nice guy and very funny. Uh,

Roy Johnston from News Channel 5. Oh, yeah. He came and he was supposed to do three minutes and he did 13. Oh, wow. Of stand-up? Yeah, he's doing crowd work. He was getting into it. You know, he got into it. I asked him, he said that you never showed him where the light was. Well, that is true because he was so nervous beforehand. I'm like, I'm not going to bargain down with one more thing. He's got three minutes. If he goes five, that's okay. You're thinking worst case scenario, he does two minutes.

He gets off early. But he's a talker, though. But he's a professional talker. Comfortable in front of people. He is. And it's hard to have a concept of time, especially if you've never done stand-up. And he was into it. He was having fun. He was going to blow that light if I told him or not. This was a clear case of ask for forgiveness and not permission. He had his own thing planned out. He brought out props. He had the whole thing. As he walked on stage, you're like, you're going to do this in three minutes. Yeah. We should have known. Look at that.

His setup for getting into doing the comedy was longer than three minutes. Yeah. He was reminding everyone. He was like, before I bomb, I just want you to know I've done things. And he was showing awards that he won. And it was good. It was all funny. Yeah, he knew he was never going to do this again. So he was just going to live it up. Has he just been wanting to do it?

Well, he tells dad jokes. That's kind of like his side thing on the news. Every Thursday night he tells a dad joke, and it's become this popular thing on there. So I invited him to come sell some tickets for me, which he did. I mean, people came, but he really ran with it. Yeah. Well, I mean, he might need to do 13 if people came to see him.

Yeah. Maybe I should have cut my time, which I did. And Aaron did. Someone comes to Channel 5 and they're like, man, that was the on camera. All right. What got it? You're about to watch an hour of off camera. Yeah. The producer. My thinking was you can tell a dad joke in 15 seconds. So. Right. You could tell a lot in three minutes. You just expected him to go up there like Rodney Dangerfield rattling off. Yeah. I did. I did. Yeah. But he showed me. He did. Yeah.

But it was a great show. We had a lot of fun. It was fun. We did watch You in the Green Room afterwards. And then this weekend, I was at Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington. All right. Great shows. Four great shows. Great club, huh? It is a great club. Folks came to every show. They brought me gifts. It was just a really fun time. Good deal, man. There's a lot of folks there in Lexington. Yeah, they are. It's a big folk area. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I was not in a big folk area this weekend. I was in Bridgeport, Connecticut. All right. At the Stress Factory there. Had my first full-on fist fight during my show. All right. While I was on stage. With the emcee? No, no. Two people. Yeah, the emcee was involved. The emcee was...

ended up being the bouncer. He had to kick him out. But I was about three minutes into my set and there's full on fight. Two tables just went at it. Was it about one of your jokes? No, that's the funny part is that it was like the least provocative show of all time. You were like, go Irish. And then people broke out. What was it? Do you know what they fought about? I found out later. So I couldn't piece it together during the show. I just saw two tables going at it. One table kind of

kicked the crap out of the other table. And then the guy that punched them was like, I'm chill. I'm chill. I'm chill. And in my head, I'm like, you're the least chill person here right now. They all left. And then that table came back, the table that knocked the other dude out. And they were great the rest of the show. So I had no clue what happened. Turns out it was one table wouldn't shut up. And the next table just kept telling them to be quiet.

And they didn't like being told to be quiet. So he squared up. And the other guy ended up being a veteran, military dude. So he just knocked the dude out. Came back, knocked over a bunch of tables. On Veterans Day. On Veterans Day of all days. So the veterans were the ones that were telling them to be quiet. Yes. The veterans were the, they were in the right. And they came back and they were awesome. Wow.

Wow. Once they left and sorted everything out. So not only have they been protecting freedom, they've also been protecting comedy. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't know what had happened at the time. They just came back. I was like, oh. Protecting free speech all the way around. Did you talk to them when they came back? No, I didn't want to bring it up because it was like a five to six minute, like people forgot there was a show going on. Yeah. Because it was that big of a thing. Did you acknowledge it when it was happening?

It was such a, like, it felt so serious that I didn't have anything funny or interesting to say about it. I just stood back. Full on fight. You know, the staff's helping out how they can. Yeah. And you're in Bridgeport. You're not sure if you're safe. I know. Well, that's the thing. It was, it felt fun. It reminded me when there was a fight during your show in Tampa when I opened for you. Yeah. It very clearly had nothing to do with you. This fight had nothing to do with me. So I was just sitting back watching. Yeah.

You know, so I never felt I felt danger when I left the club. Yeah. But when I was on stage, I felt completely fine. It's just it. But yeah, it changes the energy. You know, I'm talking about Tums. What do you and then there's a what do you what's the first joke? Yeah. Yeah. That's a fight.

I think I said, well, I got to, uh, Hey, I'm still up here by the way. I said that. And I got a big laugh. And then somebody yells, welcome to Bridgeport. And I got a huge laugh. All right. All right. We're going to get back into it. That guy come up and do some time. Yeah. Good night, everybody.

No, the crowd was... Everybody else was cool. Once that one table left, it was like maybe the best show of the weekend, which feels crazy to say. Yeah. Because there was a fist fight. Yeah, that is... But it was great. Everybody needed a laugh. That's who you need for your shows. Yeah. That was the early show, too. 7.30 p.m. on Veterans Day. Man. But... Yeah, that's... A fight is...

It's good. It's good that it happened though. I like it because it makes it, that's just part of, like, that's the, that's all the stuff you got to go through to just get, you just dealing with the insanity of, that's the stuff that people don't see. And are they, you know, I wouldn't even worry about people don't see, because I don't like that. Like the, not saying the audience has to see that, but like comics when they start and then they think the comics that want to do comedy, uh,

And they don't, they, they're like, Oh, I'll just get up and do it. But you gotta go, you gotta have those situations and you're not picking those situations. They just happen. You don't know when it might happen. Maybe it doesn't happen. Odds are it's probably going to happen. Yeah. And then you're going to be in some situation and then you got to just deal, you got to, you know, stand on stage with the microphone and, and just, I don't know, figure it out. And there's nothing you could say like,

If you're like, that's going to happen to this weekend. If someone told you it was going to happen, you couldn't even prepare for it. No. Because you would think, well, what would I say? You go, I don't know. That's when your pure comic comes out of you. Because then you got to get the mood switched back. Yeah. And it took a while, but it ended up being really good. Everybody asked me, where's the video? Because I didn't bring my camera that weekend. But it would not have been a good...

video anyway. I didn't say anything. And it probably would have gotten stolen. Yeah. It would have got knocked over in the fight if it were set up back then. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, yeah, the video, it's like, it is, it's like that. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, you, you learn more as a comic in that situation. You know what felt good? I called Dustin Nickerson after I talked about it and part of it felt good. Cause I feel like sometimes, um,

I do these like cushy kind of soft shows. I do corporate stuff for like a church gig and you don't feel like you're... And they're like, oh, I got a fight going on in my show in Bridgeport. Like I'm out here. Like I'm doing the real stuff. Yeah. Well, it's... And you got to really go through that. Totally. And you really do. And then because that's the...

That's the whole point of comedy. Comedy is, there's no preparation for the most, it is the most, that's why I think people, it's starting to become a big thing because everything feels so produced or so made or written and all this. And it's the only thing.

Music, you can change people. I can sound good singing with that Lake Beach song. They can make anybody sound good singing. Sometimes. Yeah. Not the Joe Diffie Tribute. Not the Dusty Standards. Not Morgan Whalen. Yeah. But comedy is like in that moment right there is kind of a beautiful...

because it's just, it's the rawest thing that could ever happen. And you got to just figure it out and then get back into a show. Right.

And it's at the beginning. Yeah, it's three minutes in at 47 minutes left. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you had a fight break out at your last special taping. So it could happen anytime, anywhere. With Aaron? I did not. No, that was up there. I did not notice it. It was at the... Oh, okay. So you felt like you heard something, didn't you? I felt like something felt crazy. Yeah. But it's like we're taping that special. But the fight was up in the top corner. But I had the Tampa one. I've had the...

Fire alarm go off back-to-back weeks. I might have told that story. Stardome, it's going off during the show. I was like, do we need to do anything? They go, no. We just sat there. At the Stardome? Yeah. The Stardome's burned down before. That's hilarious. It's like red lights were just blinking for the rest half of the show. I've never done a show at Stardome. There's not an ambulance or fire truck there sometime in the lobby. When it was Birmingham Comedy Club, it burned to the ground.

And then they reopened it to start destroyed all the carrot tops, carrot tops act. Yeah. And then, yeah. And then that one and the other one was in a parlor in Washington state. I, they had a fire alarm and we had to, I had probably 20 minutes left and I had to walk down with the crowd outside of, and then we all walked back up.

And then how to get back into the show. And that's, you know, I mean, that's, man, that's, it's, it's, that's the stuff I don't want to go, you know, I mean, you might have to do it again, but it's the stuff that you're like, I don't want to do again. Yeah. But it's the stuff that you have to, you really have to do because you just have to figure out how do I get these people back into a mindset to, of enjoyment after just,

Insanity just happened. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what the best time would be for it to happen. Three. At least the beginning of the show is at least like you give a little break. You got it. Beginning. Yeah. I was in the green room. You can hear the, the other comics in the green room or the loudspeaker. And within 10 seconds, the host is like, all right, come on, stop. We got a show. So you're like, oh, they're going to be a nightmare. So it was a problem. I'll show. It just came to a boiling point.

Three minutes into my set. That's why it's good to have the openers. Get that out of the way before I get up here. Yeah. Well, a lot of it is, yeah, a lot of you deal with it with the opening. But you need it. But the headlining part aspect of it, and that's the thing, really, to be a great comic, you have to learn how to deal, to do an hour after that or during it or no matter where it happens. Right. Because you've got to learn to switch. You know, it's just like...

Yes, it's great. It's fun. I mean, it's not, you know, you don't want it, but it's when you look back, you're like, that's the stuff that you're, you know, because it can't be worse than that. Right. The Late Show. I said, you guys...

It can't be the worst show of the night. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And they were, because they were, the other show was the best show. Yeah. Yeah. Blew you away. They're like, yeah, we'll show you. Yeah. Why don't you, maybe you ever show you like someone should fight. You try to start fights now. You go, what'd you say? He goes, they're talking about you, man. That's too weird. Well, I was in Raleigh, North Carolina at the improv and it was great. No fights. A lady got kicked out, but, um,

She didn't fight anyone. It was great. She yelled about Zach Brown. Wonderful shows. Well, no, I got a joke I've been doing and, um, and someone yelled out in it about Zach Brown. Apparently Zach Brown apparently has a new wife and, uh,

Okay. Something like that. I don't want to give away my joke. You're in your Joe Diffie chunk? Well, I do have a bit of a Joe Diffie chunk I've been working on, but I didn't do it this weekend. Yeah. Yeah, I like Joe Diffie. I think he's great. Yeah. And I just, you know, when people do a tribute, I want it to be really good. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm.

And so, but that was great. Also, I forgot, I brought them in the car, but my wife dropped me off, but a lady in Des Moines gave us all like a Texas Roadhouse gift card. And I forgot them, but I'll get them to you after. I like Texas Roadhouse. But I wanted you to know that I think it's Texas. It's a steak place. Yeah.

I think it's Texas Road. Maybe one of the two. Longhorn's nice. But I wanted you to know that this very nice lady in Des Moines, Iowa, several weeks ago, I didn't want to give them to you when we all weren't here. And then I forgot them last week. I made them to your house this week, but not out of the car. But she gave them to us. That's nice. And she was very nice. Wow. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I did a Zoom show for Texas Roadhouse during...

Yeah, you got to joke about it. Yeah, they were having serious budget cuts, I guess. At the time, I had to crash their Zoom cocktail hour. Bombed pretty bad. Got out of there. You just like, it was like the idea of it was you were going to crash it? They were having like a hangout and have drinks together. We got a special treat. Then nobody knows who I am. Oh, that's tough. You can't crash something if nobody knows who you are. And then you just go into your act?

Yeah. It's tough. Yeah. Oh, they did surprise to the Zoom. Would you rather fight or that? I'd rather have a fight all day. Yes. Surprise. The Zoom, all the Zoom stuff was weird. I did a corporate and the internet was in a hotel in Atlanta. The internet wouldn't work. So I did the Zoom call on my phone. And the only person I could see was the guy paying me.

So for an hour, I'm looking at this guy doing jokes. Yeah. Is he paying attention and laughing? Yeah, but I don't know if he knew I was the only one he could see, but it is brutal. Yeah, that is brutal. Just one guy into my phone for an hour. I'm like, ah, checked into this hotel. You know, it's like, ah. Did you show him around? No, no.

The Zoom calls were tough. I mean, I figured it out during that time. I figured it out and I got pretty good at it, but it's, they could be brutal. Oh yeah. Brutal. You had a little leaf raking incident. Oh, I did have a, well, I've been collecting leaves because, you know, I've learned that leaves are great, uh,

for nutrition, right? For your garden and stuff. Didn't know where that was going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because all, you know, all spring and summer, your tree produces these leaves. And then in the fall, they drop the leaves and then they decompose over the winter and that's how the tree gets its food. So there's tons of nutrients in these leaves. And so everybody just rakes them up. So I've been going around the neighborhood trying to get people to let me have their leaves, you know? Yeah.

And if I see them... I would think if you walked up, I would almost be like, I bet this guy's about to ask me for my leaves. They're not even really surprised by it. They just go...

There's a guy at the door. You're like, I think I know what this is about. Well, it's shocking to me how weird people have been about their leaves. Like I would think everybody wants these leaves out of their yard. And so a guy coming along going, Hey, can I take these leaves? And you would rake them. Yeah. But some people I've caught, like, you know, they'll be raking them and I'll be pulling into the neighborhood and I pull up next to him. I go, Hey, if you get those bagged up, I'll come take the bags. Yeah.

Yesterday, I got 12 bags from one of my neighbors. How many leaves do you need? Where are you doing with all these leaves? Well, I'm going to put leaves all over a whole area in my backyard to kill all the grass over the way and then have it break down. It'll create a little bit of a topsoil. And then I'm going to plant some wildflower seeds. Okay. So I'm going to have all these wildflowers, native wildflowers. Right. But I was raking. And then so I asked this one neighbor if I could rake his leaves. And he was like, yeah, totally fine. And then the next house down,

Just had just so many leaves. I was like, clearly, I never seen this guy outside before. I was like, there's no way he cares about the leaves. So I'm just going to rake his leaves. And then he comes outside while I'm raking the leaves. And apparently he did want the leaves.

So we had kind of an awkward interaction. My nephew was there with me. My nephew was very uncomfortable. I've been in plenty of situations like this. So it was not that big of a deal. That day. I was like, oh, you want the leaves? All right, no problem. I was like, I'm sorry. I'm out here raking your leaves. You know, I was very apologetic, but I was also a little taken back that the guy wanted the leaves. But what,

If someone came and raked your leaves. Well, I want the leaves. Okay. Well, I'm saying though. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. It is. You could have said, I understand because I think we're the same person. Well, I did say that. I said, I appreciate that you want the leaves. Yeah. I said, I'm sorry that I assumed you didn't want these leaves. Yeah. And then I talked to him about how the leaves are nutritious for the grass and for the trees. Yeah.

And then my other neighbor, he lets me have his leaves, but he really likes his lawn. And I was raking leaves out of his lawn yesterday. And he told me I was messing it up, messing up his lawn by pulling out the runners. Yeah. So what's a runner? It's like you got Bermuda grass has these runners that go under and that's how the grass spreads. So he helped me, you know, he had a, he had a,

a thing that rakes the, like you push it. It's like a cart and it puts the leaves up in a bag, which I didn't know existed. So I'm about to get that. Yeah. Like those. So I'm pulling up the runners apparently. And I didn't realize you just been using a rake. Yeah.

How long do you got to collect these leaves? Well, I'm just trying to get all the ones I can. I mean, I'm so into- Because Nate's yard has some leaves. Yeah, we have leaves. My truck's full right now. My wife picked me up because my truck's full because I got a bathtub in there that I bought today because I'm going to do a worm farm. And there's this guy from Australia. It's called the Weedy Garden. And he's like-

He's created videos on different things and one of them is a worm farm and he made it out of a bathtub.

So I found one on Marketplace. Yeah. And so I got that in the back of the truck right now. And then you got to do something. Where's the bathtub going to be? Well, I'm going to take it out to the cabin. I'm not going to put it at our house in the suburbs. But you got to kind of lift it up. You put a little top over it. You put dirt and different food scraps in there. And then the worms just eat it. This guy looks like he's having a good time. This guy's great. The Weedy Garden Channel. I mean, it is...

I'm surprised you support that with that Buddha statue. Well, I didn't. Honestly, I've never seen that. But this guy gets at this stuff that I don't support. Okay. But.

But you don't really have many places to go for this information. I would imagine a lot of stuff that you... How you want to live, ideology-wise, it's going to be tough to find you. You're kind of a one-of-one. Yeah. This guy's great, though. He's all about living off the land. I don't think he lives off the land, but he's all about growing stuff and he protects the environment. And I'm into that sort of stuff. I'm not necessarily into the government protecting the environment, but I am about...

you know, being kind to the earth. Yeah. Yeah. Like a Buddhist. Well, like a Christian should be. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. I am about being one with nature. Yeah. Like Buddha. You're probably a wonderful neighbor. Well,

I'll tell you this. I saw these two older ladies bagging up leaves yesterday and I go, hey, if you'll leave those leaves, I'll come pick them up. Oh, that's great. And they were very happy. All right. Because they had 12 giant bags and they didn't have to set them out by the road and wait for weeks for people to come pick them up. Yeah. Who usually picks them up? I guess the city. Yeah.

And now they don't have to have all these trash bags sitting out by their house. Right. Now you got them in your backyard. Yeah. I mean, it's going to be great. I'm going to do a video about it. I want you to see my yard now and then next spring. Yeah, me too. It's going to be something. I'm excited. How many subscribers does this guy have? Is it like the real...

Is it like very, very popular? Yeah, it is very popular. I mean, I found him during COVID, but yeah, you got to see him on YouTube. He's got a Patreon. He's got 99 followers. You got to find him on YouTube. That's where. Magnificent Compost in 21 days. Yeah, he's got 177,000 subscribers. He's doing pretty well. But he used to be a photographer, right? So that's what's so great about his videos is he's like, I'm not saying I'm an expert gardener.

But he's like my, his, he has all the camera equipment. So the stuff he films, it's a very interesting videos. Yeah. Is he in New Zealand? I thought he was in Australia. Oh, okay. You said that. Yeah. Well, I couldn't help to notice your new starter jacket, which we've already talked about and you're wearing Viore. Viore. We all love, we all have Viore. It's, it's good. It's good. Oh, okay. Nothing about my shirt though. No, it's a great shirt. It's a great shirt. Yeah.

I'm going to wear a Viore. I'm going to go to Zany's tonight and do new material. Oh, nice. I think I'm going to just wear this outfit. Yeah, because it's great everywhere. Viore is great. Yeah. Yeah, it's comfortable, wide, athletic wear. You can wear anywhere. It's a new outlook. I'm going to use this headshot from Instagram. I'm glad the rest of the crew were happy with the results, though. I agree. That seems to be a theme for you. I mean, I don't think I said I didn't like it. I liked it. I mean, if anything, I think it was Dusty who was kind of pointing out maybe he didn't look at it.

much like me as the others. But I think it's funny that like, what did y'all do? Go in and he take a,

painting of you live in person? Well, I think I'd imagine what's hard for you is you have no, yeah. Like a beard is like, you there's, you're just, yeah. Yeah. Uh, face. I don't deny that. You're just, you're just a face. Yeah. Because you're like, you're like what, when you play a video game, you're the start of before they pick stuff. Create a character. Yeah. Yeah.

That is so true. Yeah. That is very true. I agree with that. I just think it's funny though. Like, uh, just, just your headshots all I could find. So it was kind of hard to see what you look like. Just the best picture you send around to represent the one he paid for. Yeah, exactly. Well, thank you, Justin. Yeah. I like it. It's amazing. Yeah. I'm actually coming around to you a little bit on this painting. I really am. I actually like it.

Cause it may, I think it, yeah, I can see that. I think that's a, I think it's a tough, you know, I honestly really, I think I'm coming around.

I don't mind it. And yours stands out more than all of ours. Yeah, I think mine's the best. Which is a good thing. I think it's a startlingly accurate depiction of you, Brian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not, I honestly not, he did you a favor with the hair. He did me a lot of favors. Thank you, Justin.

Craig Metzler. Metzler, you guys were having a nice conversation about why things come in tent. Aaron is making some great points about a decimal system, and Nate yells out, what about peeps? Sounded like a third grade classroom. Yeah. What about peeps? Yeah. Cal Harvath. Cal Harvath. I wonder how that's tough when Cal became popular.

The, you know, the, the vest or maybe kale is young enough that it was named after kale. Like after kale sounds like a young person. It's harvest season. It does sound like a young person. I'll take some kale. What name? You want kale? They go. All right, dude. They probably get upset about it. Compliments Horvath. Yeah. He goes, what's your last name? Horvath. Hey, Aaron.

We've lived in Hungary for about three years now, and the eggs come in cartons of 10. All right. At first, I was caught off guard, felt like I felt shortchanged. Then I thought, hey, this actually makes more sense. Everything is base 10 over here. It just makes everything easier, honestly. Oh, you're just living in the wrong country. That's why they're hungry.

I'm missing two eggs. I did do some research on this of why a dozen is even a thing. And it's the exact point that Brian made during the argument, which is that 12 has more divisors than 10 does. So it's more convenient in a lot of ways. And that's what he said. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying it was the point that Brian made. Where'd you look it up? When Brian's statement about it?

the guy that's been around before they probably even, you guys should just listen to me more. He remembers when they switched. He was pre carton. He goes, he used to walk out. Did you ever have a milk delivery guy? A door to door milkman? Aaron, you know, that's not true. I didn't know that was, I don't know when they stopped doing that, but when did they stop doing that? I don't know. The fifties. Okay. When the refrigerator was invented. Yeah. You probably would have heard about it. Yeah. Uh,

Yeah, I bet they did it later than you thought. Well, no, we didn't. Yeah, but I'm sure... In 1963, nearly 29.7% of consumers in the U.S. had milk delivered. But in 1975, just 12 years later, that number dropped to 6.9% of total sales. So something happened between 1963 and 1975. I could see that coming back because now people want...

fresh food i get some milk delivered sometimes i bet you do yeah he has a cow in his backyard where do you call who do you well i have a farm that i get some stuff from and they have some milk that i order sometimes yeah i mean is he not kramer yeah yeah it is you are kramer yeah uh scott hildreth i'd like to hear aaron and nate explain why hot dogs and hot dog buns aren't the same number

That's more of a mystery than a dozen donuts. That is, I've never, that doesn't make sense.

Well, there are more hot dogs in the pack than buns, correct? I thought it was the other way around. I think the hot dogs come in dozens, right? I think it's ten. Eight or ten, and then hot dog buns are... Eight, I think. Eight. So you have to buy two. Yeah. So they have an incentive to keep it less. If you get the Hebrew National hot dog, it is the same as a pack of buns. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about your hot dogs. And that's something that people have let slide.

But it's like, we should have probably really gotten a lot more angry about that. Cause that's crazy. Demand it. Yeah. And just go, well, you're being ridiculous. Right. There's a scene in, I think father, the bride where Steve Martin just flips out and like tears another one open. Right. Yeah. Steals two hot dog buns. Yeah. I remember this. Yeah. Yeah.

Kevin Reynolds, Nate, when you present it at award shows like the Grammys or CMAs, do the producers write what you say? If so, do you have any say in changing the text if it's a word you can't pronounce? Yeah, I would. I mean, I have to do that all the time, which is not always the funnest. Hold on. I went a little too low. My seat. Yeah, it's not always the funnest. I do an SNL where you have to.

look at people and go, I don't know what that word is. Yeah. You're like, I'm sorry. But yeah, you get to do it. And I sent mine to the young Brian Bates because it was just a rework. Because this one they wanted me to do. I did a joke about the seat being. They wanted me to do that joke. Or normally I would write my own. The seat being stolen from Bridgerton Raymond. Yeah, yeah. So they wanted that.

They wanted me to do that. And then I just sent it to Brian to be like, Hey, just put like, what's it. Cause it was, it's not in my rhythm and it's just like, and so he just had it, you know, he just, where I was like, I like saying it like that better, more of a, yeah, but it's a, yeah, you would, yeah, you have complete, I could make, I could say whatever I want. Uh, really? I mean, you know, obviously you walk out there and you could, uh, Brian Oglesby, uh,

With Nate's recent rise in popularity, he's definitely playing in this year's NBA Celebrity All-Star Game. Get that jump shot already. Would you do it? I don't know. I would have always wanted to do it. Now I don't think I would do it. But it's just too much. Because last week you said you could pass from the NBA. Yeah.

I could. I mean, I would want to do it. Dude, I could do layups with the NBA and you wouldn't. And shoot, my jumper would be... You got a good jump shot? Yeah, I think so. Well, one comedian played in the last celebrity all-star game. Do you know who? Hasan Minhaj. Yeah. And then...

I watch every year. Yeah, it's I mean, I just think I'm now like it's like I always wanted to play. And then now it's like I'm just a little probably, you know, I don't know. And you just get so busy. That's the anytime you get asked to do this stuff, you just get no one ask you until you're the busiest person ever. And then you're like, yeah, I don't know. You're like.

He's just thinking about all the, like, I got to go get there now. You know, it's just like a whole thing. It's, it's just, it's not, you know, it's not downtown Nashville. They're playing. Right. It's, it's, you know, there's a, yeah, it's just hard. Yeah. It's like one time I did a TV show called Nashville squares and I thought, well, this will be great for sure. This will be in Nashville. And it was of course in LA. Yeah. I was like, geez. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's I mean, that's the hardest part is I'm learning with my career is like this spreading out. You're getting pulled in. There's a lot of stuff going on, pulled in a lot of directions. But I don't want luckily my the hour I have now is basically I have the hour that so when I do take a special beat, I feel good about it because I got to get it together before all this stuff happens.

And then, you know what? And I had a lot of people talk about me taking, do you have the stuff about me taking a break or something in here? I don't. But I think a lot of people reached out about that. Yeah. I'm not taking a break. They took it very serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand. Yeah, I could see that. I'm not taking a break. I'm just saying, when this Be Funny Tour, it's these last two tours were so close together that I just want to make sure I can, A, get some material, live a life. It's really for the comedy. Yeah.

I think I will have some other projects that I'll be doing, but it's just kind of being like, let me have a breather right now. And then when we do the next tour in 2025, we can be like, I can have built an act properly and then been ready to go. Because as you do these big venues, it's hard to build an act in an arena. It's such a big thing. You really need to do some clubs and properly do it. That's what I meant by that.

And I think I'll probably end up doing, you know, I bet I could end up doing some other projects or something or whatever it is. But yeah, I'm not, you know, I have a good have a good steady plan of where I want to be. And I always kind of think I always thought 40 to 50 was like a big run. And then I didn't. But it's like, I'll just see where I'm at at 50.

That's what I did. Yeah. Yeah. Saw where you're at. Mm-hmm. Dove in harder. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Start backing off. Start saying no. I do have to say no sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Justin Gibson, barefoot is absolutely right about the soccer thing. Barefoot.

Your team would know not to pass it to you, and you would just move back and forth with the rest of the players. No one would blame you for not stealing the ball from an opponent or anything. Dusty and Nate would look so slow compared to the other swimmers. Absolutely no chance of blending in. Boom. That's what I'm saying. This guy has no idea how fast I can swim. I can swim fast. I don't know how fast I could swim. I would go. Just saying this guy who does never see me. I've never been swimming together. Me and this guy. Yeah. Justin Gibson. He has no idea.

I can swim underwater the full length of an Olympic-sized pool. Yeah, I bet I can too. You think you could? No. You think you could? I think I could. I'd like to do it. I'd like to do it too. I mean, I'm all about it. This guy assuming that Brian would look better on a soccer field than I would look in a swimming pool. It's just like, that's just. I would do that. Just do, I would go underwater the whole time. And where they go, that's not the race.

he was supposed to do. But then it's like, but it's impressive that he was able to stay under that. He did come in last, but he stayed under water. He stayed under the whole time. Freestyle. Yeah. Yeah. Free did freestyle. He goes, I do my freestyle underwater, which is actually the slowest way to swim. Mm hmm.

Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm ready to win the Olympics, but the idea is that we're able to go out there and swim and what would be the sport you would have the best chance in. And that's what I said is swimming. That's not the way it quite presented it. Everybody's acting like I'm out here going, I think I'm going to quit comedy and get into swimming. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You go out there, you got that shirt on. Yeah. That owl hat. You got to take it off for your hair in a ponytail. Yeah. You'd be a fan favorite. And I think people would go, wow, that guy swam a lot faster than we expected. And I still stand by this, that I think you should go into the women's division.

And then just be like that. Yeah. No one would question you. No one would question that. Yeah. It would be like, oh, here we go. You know, it would be kind of like, and you're just, you know, it's like, here we go. Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, I just, you know, wherever I blend in the best. How was the question presented? Well, just not blend in because that would be the best that you would be at the sport necessarily. Just that least. No one would notice. Likely to, yeah, that you could blend in and people wouldn't even notice you're out there.

That's why I just think it should be a team sport more where you can maybe avoid the action. I think if you were on the soccer field, and I'm not even talking to you, any non-professional soccer player, it would be so obvious. I mean, those guys are in the best shape of anybody. But if you play, but like you said, like messy stops, I understand like the idea of you could just kind of hang in the middle and blend in. You could just run over here. Now, I think...

You're running. If you go watch him run, it's going to be... I think I could run where I would blend in. So it's like athletically, is your run going to be like, what is up with that dude? Have you ever seen me run? Have you ever seen me run? No, I don't. I can just picture you just running. And I mean, just always on your hands on your head all the time. And everybody's like, I mean, he hasn't done anything. And you're just...

And then that's, that is true. And then when you go and when the other team, when the ball, just the frustration of when the ball gets down and you thin the switch and you're like, Oh,

man. And then you got to start running, you know, over that way. They always put their hands on their head at the very end of the game when it's kind of, or they'll lift their shirt. I'd be doing like, how long do you expect to be able to blend in when they go number 45? Uh, if I'm not mistaken, did not come out at all during warmups.

So he's sweating somehow. Something is that he couldn't handle that and the game. He told them, you got to pick one. I can't do both. Yeah. So we're looking forward to see if he, how he does out there.

Yeah. No, I don't – I think I'd probably be given away. I'm not saying they wouldn't eventually catch on. Yeah. I just might go the longest. If I could stay in that middle and just like, ah, I was just a little bit behind them the whole time. I mean, I would think you're so slow. It would just be – Yeah, I mean, like I always think of soccer players as the most in shape in the world. Just in the insane – you would –

I think you could be, I picture you turning around because the ball is going the other way. And then you don't even get turned around and the ball goes back. It's like, it's in your like, God, it's a lot quicker than I thought. You're just in that little circle. Yeah. You never really make it out of that circle. If you just had to, if they, if they told you to just stay in the group. Yeah. Like that, like your goal is just stay. I don't know if you could stay in the group. I don't think you could.

I think you would have to just stay on that one back for the guys that don't go all the way up. Yeah. That's a big field, man. That's a big field. Our little dog zips around and our daughter tries to keep up with her. And before she can turn around, our dog's already zipped past her. You're saying that would be me on a soccer field. Oh, yeah. And my thing here is it's not that yours would be so terrible at soccer and that I would be so great at swimming. It's just the idea that.

That me saying I could blend in with swimmers seems so ridiculous. That's your four foot eight. But you blend in with soccer players is just, oh, of course. Yeah, he would blend right in. I would love if we can try to do this somehow.

If we could say we get, we do a camera that's like one of those, like for the video cameras where they show, like we can't even really see the players faces. It's like, you're just looking at formations or something. If we went and got a real soccer match going and then you just, and then in just each one of us just went in and out and you could, and you would try to be like, who could you, who could you guess was who?

Well, I would never blend in in soccer. I mean, I wouldn't. You might. I would be so winded. I can't run. I mean, I get so winded running. Yeah, I know. But you got to – it's just blending in. And you act like we got a track star over here. Well, that's what I'm saying. I mean, his middle name is Winded. But he's going to figure it out. I'm saying you got to – you have to –

You would put your hair up in a bun. Which looks like a soccer player. What does your run look like? My run looks fine, I think. It's not bad. You've seen his run? I've seen your run. Where? I think my run is fine, but I... Where was he running? I don't know. I can just see it in my head. My run's fine, but I just... You can see it in your head.

You picture his run in your head? I can see it, yeah, as if I've seen it before. I don't know where or when it happened, but I got a pretty good image of it in my head. It's not Usain Bolt, but it's, you know. But it's like athletically enough that you don't know. You wouldn't be like, that guy shouldn't be running. That's obviously someone who's not. Yeah. That's what I mean. I think your run, like, what is your run? I mean, the last time I ran was when you and I were being shot at in San Antonio. Yeah.

When was that? 1975. Yeah. No, it was when we first started the tour. And a guy shot a gun. There was somebody firing shots and we took off running. Yeah. And it was not great. Well, you weren't even looking. Because I was gone. Well, don't say it's not great then. You don't know. No, I was looking because I had to stop and look for you. Because it looked like once the guy... I think we've told the story. But it's like the guy's sitting there and he...

out of nowhere these teenagers are walking as me him and Noah the tour manager at the time and so they're walking this way and it just got a vibe of it feels weird and then they just then the kid just turns and shoots down a street for no reason if he turns the other way he's going to just hit us so we all take off so me and Noah take off running I look back I mean it looks like

Like Brian's run looks like he's getting closer to him. That's how slow it was. I mean, we're in an open street. There's like a trash can or something. You got to really get somewhere to try to get behind something. There wasn't like cars. There wasn't a lot of stuff. If you believed we were in the Truman Show type thing, you would believe that moment was a Truman Show type thing.

Like you would think we could have been a true mystery because it just felt very crazy. Yeah. To be, it felt quiet. Yeah. It was where it almost looked like a Hollywood set. And then, and then we, then me and Noah just take off running. And then I, but I look, I don't leave you. I don't try to leave you, but I mean, it was, you know, he does like a few of those where he runs in place before he kind of gets going. Like a cartoon character. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was like, there's death spine. It was like, well,

once the gun went off. I mean, I think Brian just has to go like, if it's going to happen, Lord, it's going to happen today because this might be my time. I had a good life. Yeah. What would you do if you were running? I would have got on my electric e-bike and I would have been

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starting at just $799. These e-bikes are affordable. Plus, you can get hundreds of dollars in free accessories when you put sponsors in there. So every car is like millions of dollars. I think that's the real problem. I think it needs to go back to some basics where you just build fast cars rather than just having access to all the greatest parts in the world.

Are they faster now? I thought they were faster back years ago. Didn't they do restrictor plates? It feels like if you have a restrictor plate and then everybody has the best stuff they can buy, then all the cars are the same speed. I think they could probably go 250 miles an hour now. He's saying don't have restrictor plates, just make smaller engines. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't know about that. I just think that the problem, you know, it's like everybody gets hurt all the time in the NFL and that's because they're so strong. I don't know that people are getting hurt all the time in NASCAR. So that's my point is it's like they keep making these rules to kind of make it weaker.

because everybody's so strong. And I just feel like, you know, a lot of the tackling stuff is what's fun. And they call roughing the passer a lot when it feels like, ah, that wasn't that. I mean, I know all the hits are big when you're being hit by somebody like that, but sometimes it's like, come on guys, the guy sack the quarterback. And instead of getting the sack, now it's a huge penalty when it's like, was it really that big of a deal? That's my, that's my point. Now these NASCAR, the vehicles are capable of going 230 miles per hour, but they limit it.

via restrictor plates to about 200 miles an hour that's about as fast yeah i feel like then all the cars are the same and it really comes down to the driver which maybe that's the way it should be but i know i i don't know i don't know nascar's popularity now but i know that my family the the redneck side of things is not as into it as they used to be yeah you know

Because it's not really a redneck sport anymore. It's very corporate, I feel like. Yeah. Mainstream. I don't know. That's just my thoughts. William Gallinot. William Gallinot. I wonder why Nate went to El Salvador. I've never heard comedians go in there for shows. I lived in El Salvador until I was 12 years old, and I still go back every year to visit my family.

I was there for the USO tour, like for the troops. Oh. El Salvador and Honduras, which I have a joke about the guy. Yeah. The snake joke. It's a good joke. Do you know where they're located? Yeah. We went through it last week.

But yeah. Yeah. That's why I was down there. Yeah. That snake jokes. I still like telling that. I don't remember it now, but that's one that I could hang on to that I could have remembered. I remembered for a lot longer and would, I could pull it out sometimes. Who told you that? The snake. That's a very fun. It's like a fun one to tell. Greg Cannon. I would like to see an episode where the guys discover new countries by simply browsing a globe.

We could do that. That'd be a fun one. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, like we discovered the spelling of turkey. Yeah. Like that, that's new. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I mean, I remember making the joke that it was spelled like a sandwich. Oh, Myanmar. He goes, I think it's Burma. Myanmar, yeah. But Bhutan. You know a lot about Bhutan? Never heard of it. No. Bhutan. I don't know what's going on here. It's in the thick of it, though. It's in the mix. It's right next to Bangladesh, Nepal. Yeah.

I mean, West Bengal, China. I mean, like, what are they? Kolkata. Kolkata. Oh, Kolkata. I watched a YouTube thing on like the coldest country in the world. And I think it's, it's kind of a, I mean, it's like right next to Russia and maybe even a part of Russia. And it was Siberia, but it's like, you know, everyone looked Asian and they, and it's the coldest country in the world. And it was like, it was really wild. I really enjoyed it.

What was the name of it? I think it was to the... Yeah, I don't remember. To the west of? I think it was to the other side. Alaska? No, some country in Russia, maybe. Or some city in there. Mongolia? We really need a globe. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, that kind of stuff is really great. I mean, it's really fun to just discover what people have to go through, how they have to live. It all seems so normal to them and not that big of a deal. But to me, that seems insane. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if you want to go see...

The future. Go, I mean, go there. You're not going to see the future, but if you want to feel that what we're in is the future. Oh, yeah, yeah. Go, go there. And then you're going to go, oh, we're. Yeah. In the future. Yeah, yeah. We're going to Mississippi for a weekend. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, Alabama doesn't like me. I almost said Alabama. Then I remembered I was from there. Sometimes Leland rounds for crying out loud. How can you talk about SNL nonstop and not make the connection that give me some loving was covered by the blues brothers.

All right. Calm down, Leland. I'm not a huge Blues Brothers fan. Yeah, I wasn't. I didn't know anything. There's one great line, though, where Dan Aykroyd picks up John Belushi from prison and they come back to his house and there's all these trains going by. And he goes, how often does a train come by? He says, so often you won't even notice. Yeah. And I think that's such a great line. It is a great line. It's so funny. Yeah.

And then the other one, I think this is a little more classic where they go, what kind of music you play here? Both kinds, country and Western. Well, sounds like it's your favorite movie. Those two lines are great. Leland's fired up though. Yeah. Yeah. One guy called us an idiot. Really? Yeah. He goes, you guys are idiots. We're not knowing that. Leland used to- Which we are. In Tarot Bang.

At the end there. Huh? Which we've talked about on the podcast before. Question mark and an exclamation point. Oh, yeah. How mad are you about this, dude? Yeah. How are we not connected? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't even here. We messed up. Uh...

Gimme, gimme some love. Gimme, gimme some love. Gimme, gimme some love. Oh, you mean from the Blues Brothers? Yeah. Yeah. Ah, if you had said that, I would have. Yeah. Eddie and Chelsea. Well, I'm sure now he's even more frustrated when Dusty literally gives two lines from the movie. He's clearly watched it and thought about it a lot. And apparently they're making a Days of Thunder, too. Are they? Yeah. Making a good burger. Kind of came out of nowhere. All right.

Well, Give Me Some Lovin' was also from Ace of Thunder. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Eddie and Chelsea Polinsky. Dusty deserves better. The movie he got stuck on with Woody Harrelson was The Highwaymen with Kevin Costner about the Texas Rangers who come out of retirement to hunt down Bonnie and Clyde.

I don't think so. I'm going to have to say as much as I appreciate Eddie and Chelsea Polinsky, and you're right though, I do deserve better, but just in general, but I was thinking about natural born killers. I just, I was thinking that in that movie, uh,

Woody Harrelson. Cause I never watched it cause it's, it's too much for me, but, uh, Woody Harrelson. And now I can't think of the girl's name again, but Juliette Lewis, Juliette Lewis, that they were Bonnie and Clyde. Yeah. But I'm glad that you brought up the highwaymen because I would like to watch this. Kevin Costner and, and Woody Harrelson sounds like a great movie. I saw the movie last night. Uh,

We know. Shawshank. Yeah. Watch it again. No, no, no. I'm still on the, this will make y'all even not happy, but it's a called chariot and it's on a fire. No, no. It's just called chariot. And the movie is, I just like saw it on Amazon. Uh, it had, uh, it's only 77 reviews. It doesn't even have a Wikipedia. It's right below it. Chariot film. Oh,

No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not it. What's the chariot movie right there? 2013. It doesn't have a Wikipedia entry. Yeah. That's probably it. Yeah. That's probably it. It's don't like look into it. Yeah. Uh, this is a story.

yeah that's it this isn't yes oh john malkovich isn't no no there's another cherry that he's that one right there maybe but don't look into it too much but i mean it's it's pretty good and like even when i started reading stuff about it last night how do you find these 26 percent then even it's it's good though it's fun that the acting's not an hour 27 minutes

I saw a guy that I looked at because I look, you look up their views and I saw one that this guy, he said it perfect. He goes, you know, it's like the acting's not crazy, but it's a good enough plot that you end up going. You watch the whole thing. Okay. And the whole thing's filmed in an airplane. Okay. All in one plane? All in one plane.

These seven people, I mean, they said somewhere they made the movie for like 40. Don't read. You can't give the whole point. It's only worth watching if you don't know why they're in that. Okay. I'd like to read that one. It started off terrible acting, terrible script.

Save your time and finds out. But then this one says interesting. And this guy says interesting original film. I would not want to see again. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this one said the opposite of that ridiculous pop, but well acted. Well, that's yeah. Well, you, I, you end up kind of going like, I think I like all these actors. Like it's one of those where you're like, yeah, the acting is not good. Then you go to, you know what? I think I like all of them. They shot it in air in an airplane. It is sometimes fun to watch a movie that no one likes just to, you know, because it's,

They said they made it for $40,000. Oh, that's cool. I like that. I like that part of it. Yeah. I mean, it's, and it's, and it's just, it's interesting enough. And it's like, cause you're these, these seven people, it's, it's got a great hook. These seven people wake up on a plane and they don't know why they're there. And so they got to figure out and they can't get into the cockpit and they don't know. I like that. Yeah. Why are they there? Why are you in that? You know, it,

And it's an hour and a half. It gets to it. Where, you know, that Dome movie, when they lived in a dome or dome TV show. You remember, I wanted to watch that. You're like, well, they spread that up for over 12 hours and you don't know what's happening. This is...

an hour and a half and then you do and you don't know then you figure out why they're in it in and out quick and it was like and it moves and you're just like yeah and you're trying to be like why are they in this and you just don't really ever figure you know you figure it out at the end any movie less than two hours is I'm in for these days it's like they make movies too long it's like learn to wrap it up in less than two hours yeah

Watch Chariot. Let me know. Yeah. That's the best publicity they've ever gotten. Maybe the score will go up. I don't know how you vote for this, but... I'll get in there and vote for it. No critics care to even take a look at it. No, but it's not... But I mean, this is a movie that's like... At least it's not this giant overmade... It's like... I mean, it's just this... It's just an interesting... Like what I read, someone said it like when you look up... Because I mean, yeah, you can't find really reviews of this.

And so it'd be like said, like Reddit, you know, like someone talk about that. They're like, you know what? He goes, this movie, he goes, it's not great acted, but it was the, he goes, but the plot, it's just interesting enough that you end up going, uh,

you know what I don't think I minded that movie and you'd look back and be like they didn't make it for any money what do you find that at Amazon oh Amazon alright I rented it oh you rented it oh I gotta pay I was gonna say I might go home and watch it tonight but I gotta pay for it well it's $2.99 well you're it's helping these people out totally I mean this is someone what about Anthony Montgomery

You know, I watched Anthony Montgomery fan. I want to help him out. I watched SNL this weekend was the first new one since yours. And on weekend update, they had a, a thing that they cut out of your episode that I saw in the dress rehearsal. Oh really? What was it? It was a Heidi Gardner. She plays a character about a really busy worker and she's throwing things around and it was in your dress rehearsal. It got cut out of the main one, but it was on this week. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. How about that?

I bet they re-air yours over the holidays. Like Thanksgiving. Do they re-air them? Really fast. They've already re-aired Pete Davidson's. Oh, really? Yeah, they aired his last week.

Oh, like on a, yeah. So if they have off whenever week, when I assume they'll be off next week for Thanksgiving, they may reshoot yours. Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah. Yeah. I saw it. And they were there. They interviewed, uh, it's interesting to see what the George Washington sketch, cause there was an article they interviewed Streeter Seidel and Mikey day about doing it. Like it's already like there's articles about, well, what was behind this sketch, which is nice. That's great. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Dusty, while I see you yawning, maybe you need a little Helix mattress. You know what? Thanks to our friends at Helix Sleep. Seamless.

I do like Helix mattress. Thanks to our friends at Helix Sleep. Lucky for you, they're having a new sale. Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders and two free pillows, November 10th through the 19th. So that's when the free sale is. Do you think people won't come to your house because of the leaves? I don't know. I can't. They don't know about the leaves. So they may listen to this podcast and if they find out, they'll.

you know, they may not come, but I think I'm having trouble getting my parents to come because of college football. My dad, you know, he needs to be at home and my mom has season tickets to the Auburn games and she's been going to a lot of away games. So I don't want to say that my parents don't love me, but not as much as they love college football. Yeah. They're living their life right now. Yeah. That's impressive because Auburn's not having a great year. No. And she goes to the way game. She is a dedicated fan. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. Very few bandwagon Auburn fans. They've been bad for so long. It's like, if you're an Auburn fan, you're in it. They won a championship. Not long ago. Yeah, but they were. Too long ago. Yeah, but 10 years ago? 2011. When did y'all win one last? 88. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like Notre Dame's been. Is y'all's really 88? 88. Three years before I was born. It's our last national championship game. I remember it. Do you really? Lou Holtz. Yeah, man. I remember it. Reggie Ho. Lou Holtz.

Lou Holtz was so great. And I tell you, I used to make fun of Lou Holtz a little bit because he always annoyed me when he was a commentator. But I was going to make a joke about him, so I went and watched some of his videos. Very inspirational. Yeah, it's inspirational talks. I love Lou Holtz. I was like, I'll never do that again. I'll never make fun of him again. He's really great. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. This week, we're talking about pets.

Now, I read that the average, or not average, but in America, two-thirds of Americans own households, own a pet. For this table, it's three-fourths, I guess. Yeah. No, you don't have one. Well, you've got probably some other stuff. I got some outdoor animals that I enjoy seeing, but I don't- On the regular. On the regular, but I don't own them. You don't, yeah. And I don't like an indoor animal. Would you feel bad if they died? Do you have that kind of relationship with them? What are they?

Well, I got, you know, I got raccoons. I got possums out there. How do you know that it's the same raccoon? I don't know. I did trap a raccoon one time on accident and I let him go or her. I don't know.

I don't know him that well. Got a lot of birds. I got some squirrels. I'm thinking about putting up an owl house. And so we'll see how that goes. In your neighborhood. Yeah, in my backyard. Your neighbors are going to be like, just because those things don't stop. Yeah. My HOA is pretty loose, you know, and I got some neighbors in the back of me. They have a lot of chickens.

So I think, you know, you're saying they don't stop making noise, the owls? Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's always cool when you hear an owl. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, but like if you had an owl house, I'd imagine if you heard it all day, every night, you'd be like, all right. My wife might hate it. Yeah. She's kind of against it. See, I'm either, I want a nighttime creature out there. So I'm either going bat houses or owl houses. For what reason? Yeah. Just to have? Well, the bats eat mosquitoes. Oh.

Okay. And they say they really can eliminate a mosquito problem if you have a colony of bats. Possums eat ticks. Possums eat snakes even too. And when you have chickens, I feel like we're going to have more snakes. Why is that? Because they come for the eggs. Oh, I see. Yeah.

And I don't have chickens, but my neighbor does. And then an owl will eat rats and I hope moles. We got a lot of moles. I'd love for it to get the moles. Yeah. I remember it was the first real battle going here. I mean, it's a real Roman Coliseum in the backyard there. I'm just all about getting this wildlife going. That's why I'm into native flowers. I have so many bees now. I'm all about it. Now you have worms, right? Well, not yet. I'm going to have them. And they'll be indoors.

No, no, no. I thought I'm keeping the bathtub. A bathtub, but for outdoor. Oh, I envisioned the one you like, you just push them over and shower with them. I'm going to be, this is going to be a completely outdoor worm. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Come on. What was your McMinnville house? I didn't know what goes on out there. Your cabin. Are you about to say something, Aaron? Uh, I don't remember. All right. What are you talking about? We were talking about all kinds of animals. Outdoor animals. I don't remember.

It'll come back to you. Yeah, it will come back to me as soon as we've moved on. So dog, dog, two cats? Two cats now, yeah. Two cats. Did you ever have pets growing up? Yeah, I did have pets growing up. I had a dog. I had a dog when I was a little...

Living in the trailer park, it would always grunt when it was a puppy. And my friend told me I should name it Grunt. So I did name it Grunt. And I had a dog named Grunt for a long time. And then it disappeared. My friend told me he saw my mom loading it up into the dog pound truck one day. Oh, gosh. She denies it. She said that didn't happen. And I can't see my mom doing it.

But I also don't know why my friend would say that. Yeah, how did you make that up? So, I don't know.

We never had indoor pets. Everything was outside. And I feel like that's kind of gone. Grunt was an outdoor dog. Yeah, Grunt was an outdoor dog. I mean, we didn't live on a farm or in the country. We lived kind of in a neighborhood type area. And everything was outdoors. Outdoor cats, outdoor dogs. You almost seem young enough that people would be upset about that. Because nowadays you can't get away with that like you used to. Not where we lived. Okay.

You know, it's just kind of understood. I remember our dog, you hear it outside going, when it was cold, it would want to come in so bad. My dad would be like, shut that thing up out there. Yeah. It's just, it's annoying. You know, it's a dog. Yeah. It never thought, oh, this is supposed to be inside with us. Yeah. That's how I grew up. Yeah. Yeah.

This is the first indoor dog or indoor pet I've ever had. I had a joke that I used to do. It's on my Making That Fudge album about dogs, about the difference of dogs growing up versus dogs now. And I love that joke. But all of a sudden, it just hit a place where that joke would not go well anymore. Like people were not into that anymore.

Because there wasn't too much into- Well, it was a longer bit just about how we raise dogs versus how people raise dogs now. Yeah. And it just was funny to people because I feel like they still remembered the old time versus the new time. And now I feel like we're too much into the new time where it seems like I was abusing my dog. Yeah. But I was just-

Treating it like a dog. I have a little quick. Yeah. I have a quick joke to my act now, but it's just a quick. Oh yeah. I don't do mine anymore anyway. What's the longest you ever owned one pet? Do you have like a dog for like a long time? Uh, uh, yeah, we had a dog named Noah. There's a schnauzer. That's probably one I remember the most.

Uh, and then, yeah, we, and we had a ton of pets. My dad, we had a spider, a snake, a, I mean, a tarantula. You wake up, dad would just have it laying on your chest. Uh, I think it froze to death because the heat broke in the house. We've had like crazy, uh, a lot of birds, uh,

Abigail's the big pet, like the overly pet stuff. Bring home, find animals. She found one of our cats. Yeah. That's one of our cats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So...

but that like we had a bird that, uh, one got flew into a mousetrap, the sticky thing. And so they had to shave half of it off. Another one flew into a frying pan. Oh gosh. I think lived, but, uh, yeah. Flew into a frying pan. Just all, we had a fish jump out of the aquarium once and it got all the way out. And, uh, and so we got there the next morning. It's just dead on the floor. Yeah. Oh,

It sounds like all your pets were killing themselves. It does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm ready to go. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a fish jumping out of the aquarium. I mean, that's like, what's the fish thinks going to happen here? I mean, you got to think dignified death is a very, it's a strictly human thing.

Every other death on earth is tragic. Yeah, where were you looking for that? I was searching for that. I was looking off into the... You kind of gazed off into the... Think about every life on earth, most of them end horrifically.

except for humans yeah most of the time yeah well nowadays i think a lot less for dogs yeah but even still but i bet a lot of animals like if you're like how do they die i bet they're not every animal is getting murdered i think they're i think it gets to a certain age where it can't defend itself anymore and it just gets dies tragically somehow most of them uh you know a bird in the wild bird falls down from the sky you know

Something like that. Yeah, but then it would just have died. Yeah, but that's like a tragic death to fall out of the sky and die. Yeah, but, well, it's just their life. If you walked and died and had a heart attack and just fell on the ground, that's the same as a bird. I agree. Yeah. Yeah, it probably died before it hit the ground.

Graham. Maybe. Yeah. We hope, we gotta hope so, right? I'm just, I said that to say, don't feel too bad about these pets dying. Well, I mean, I just think like he had two birds almost fly to their death. I mean, apparently they lived and they were probably like, dang, but the, the goldfish jumps out. I had a pet frog for a little while that I, you know, I caught a bunch of tadpoles and it came, it turned into a frog and it jumped out and I found it under like the rug in the kitchen. It was all smushed up and,

And like hard by this point, like we lost it for a long time. Yeah. And you find it just like a real hard. Yeah. Do you have a bird that the dog swallowed? Oh yeah. Uh, yeah. I don't remember this. I don't know if I would like, I might've moved or something. Derek Abigail would have,

But, uh, we had a dog that, yeah, we got a dog. We had a dog named Oreo that my dad just got, they were given away at Walmart. And so my dad just comes home with his dog. And then, uh, it's a great name though. Yeah. And then, uh,

So then Oreo and like, I guess, swallowed this bird and then Derek grabbed it. And like when it picked it up, I kind of gave it the Heimlich and spit the bird out. So that was the other bird. That's why your birds are committing suicide because they're like, it's either that or the dog's going to eat me.

Yeah, I think the animals were. It's a tough time. Yeah. When the Borghese household showed up. It's a lot. I've been over there sometimes. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. Bird's the one pet I don't fully understand. Somebody's got a bird for a pet. I don't understand what you get out of it because I feel like there's very little...

I don't know, physical touch between the two of them. I don't even know if a bird can bond with a human being. I don't know if they can. My, yeah, my buddy, uh, used to, they had a, they had parents, uh,

And I mean, it's like, you know, I, yeah, I, I might, I don't want to say so much cause I, uh, I want to try to do, has been trying to do a pet chunk. I don't think I'm gonna do it this hour, but, but I mean, so by the time I do it, it doesn't matter. Uh, but yeah, you go over to his house and I mean, it sounds like you're in a war zone. I mean, it's just, it's just like, ah,

And you're in like a two bedroom house. And it sounds just like a dinosaur is in the room. And it's, you know, I mean, it's stuff's loud. Animals are loud. Yeah. We had like a cockatoo or like a cockatiel kind of got like the little mohawk for a little while. And he would just go, ah!

Just all the time. They say some of them can talk. So we put it by the phone, hoping that it would kind of pick up like hello and stuff like that. Never did. I think you have to work with it. I don't think you can just listen to answer machine. Well, that's, yeah, I thought every time you pick it up, you go, hello. Okay. Cause this is a four caller ID. And you would go hello. And you look at the bird. Yeah. Like it's almost, you never picked up on it. Never picked up. Yeah. My neighbor, one of the first, you remember the first time when you're like a certain age where,

The first time, like, it was the first time somebody hired. My neighbor had all these birds and they left town and they were like, we'll pay the nine-year-old kid next door to come just like feed the birds. And the first day I went over there to feed the birds, I opened the cage and they had like this toucan and it just flew right out of it. It's just like loose in the house. And I was like, oh no, dude.

This is the first time they're paying me with a, I remember they paid me with a $25 Papa John's gift card. I remember specifically that's what they gave me. And, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They know how to incentivize me. But the first day I had to call like their adult son who lived across town to come drive to the house and,

Yeah. Catch this bird and put it back in. I like that. It's, they made your parents made you call as a nine-year-old. My parents weren't involved at all. I walked over the neighbor's house and I, I had you call. They have like a list of emergency numbers on the fridge or something. Yeah. I had to call. I like that. The brother lived across town and he couldn't, or the son and he couldn't just come. Well, they figured it's easy. We'll pay this guy $25. It's barely enough for one pizza from Papa Joe. Yeah. Just have him walk over next door. They still pay you.

They did pay me. They were nice about it. Well, yeah, it's nice to have like let a kid give some responsibility. Sure. Sure. The brother was like, do not pay this guy. Yeah. I remember he showed up. He was like, Oh God, like flew across. It's, it's a big problem when there's a two can loose in your house, you know?

At least you were smart enough to shut the door that goes outside. That's true. I made sure of that before I did anything. I don't even think I was supposed to open the cage. I don't know why I did that. Oh, yeah, because you just slide. I think you can just feed them through it or something. I don't know. I opened it and it took advantage. Well, that shows that bird wanted out of it.

Yeah. They all want out of there. Yeah. Yeah. They'd all leave if you opened up. You get their wings clipped. That's what you always do to them to keep them from flying away. What does that frown upon? I would think so. I would think having them at all would be frowned upon, but. Yeah, we had one. I think my mom opened the door to clean it and it flew away when I was like real little. Pet bird. Yeah. And it flew out the, it's like A and B. Yeah.

A Mayberry and Andy Griffith show. And B had a, I think she had a bird. Oh, I don't remember that. And I've seen so many. Yeah. I remember Opie had some birds that Andy made him let go. Your mom had like a window open or a door open. Yeah. No, I think that Andy Griffith has an episode where and B it's not and B's birds, but Andy was cleaning the cage and the bird flies out the window. Okay. Yeah. What a great show. The birdman. Yeah. Yeah.

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Offering $330. Friends started petting the cat. They were like, oh, it's such a beautiful cat. He loves your house. So me and Hannah, we were like, you know what? We're going to adopt the cat. So we went to PetSmart or whatever, and we bought some cat litter and some food. And we were like, oh, we're cat owners now. And the cat came in. We were petting it. And

And then the next day, uh, it jumped up, knocked over all my potted plants, broke them all over the floor everywhere. And then I let the cat out and then it killed a bird and ate the bird all but one foot. And it ate, just completely ate the bird, my birds that I feed. And so I loaded it up in a cage and I took it to my dad.

It didn't even bring the bird to the front door, which is what they usually do. No, it ate it. We fed it. Yeah. It ate all the food and then it went out, killed a bird, and I caught it with just a foot hanging out of its mouth. Did you let it finish the foot? No, I was so mad. Why are we mad about it? That's what cats do, though. But I'm feeding the birds. I like the birds. It felt like I set the birds up. Yeah. I betrayed their trust. Now they don't. You think of the birds as pets.

Well, I like them. I like to see them. It goes out and stands in the- Me and Joe Zimmerman appreciate birds. This was like during COVID? Yes. Like when he has an owl on his hat. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's an owl. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. But bird, cats catch mice. Yeah, but they also kill birds. You also collect mice though. Yeah. Well, I had mice at one point in my life. I'm not a mice guy. I got a mice farm now. You had a lot of mice, I believe.

Well, it started with two, but they get at it. They breed. Yeah, they get after it. They get at it. Yeah, we had a snake. We had a red-tailed boa. And we'd have to feed it mice. Live or frozen? We'd do it live. Frozen ones. That's fun to watch. It is fun to watch. You put it in there and it gives him some stimulant. But I mean, he would like the snakes...

I remember because the mouse could, I mean, there's sometimes we'd see that mouse. It'd be, I mean, they just walk up and be smelling the mouth of the snake. Oh, yeah. Like just being like, well, what's this? Oblivious? Oblivious.

And then some would get behind a towel and be like, oh, and then, so there's the old towel in there. And so then my dad had to reach in once to move the towel and the snake struck his hand, but just like hit it and kind of came back. And I remember one time looking, trying to look under the towel to see where the mouse was. And it just struck it. It saw my movement and thought I was something. Uh, yeah, it was, I, I really, you know, when we got that snake, I was very excited about having this thing. Uh,

And then it's like, yeah, I don't think I'd own another snake. Terrified of snakes. I can't handle it. We had, I had a hamster that I named Skunky when I was young. And I used to love that hamster that I remember I came back from school one day and my mom said Skunky died. And I found out years later that my mom fed Skunky to my brother Snake.

Because it was like old and dying. And she's like, well, this will save me a trip to the pet store to get an actual. So just fed the hamster to wow. The snake.

It's kind of cold. That is one of the saddest things. Well, it was about to die anyway, but it's kind of an economical move on my mom's part. Yeah. Saving money. I love that your mom just was like, it's about to die. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was old and it was about time, right? But that snake got out of the cage and the dog ate the snake. Wow. So it was like a real circle. Maybe the dog loves skunky.

Yeah, send him a message. What kind of snake was it? It was a ball python, and it got out of my brother's cage, and we looked forever and couldn't find it. And we just kind of wrote it off. I guess the snake's gone, right? It got out of the cage and it was gone, and then the dog threw it up everywhere. You could see that he had eaten the snake. Man, how could you sleep knowing...

That would be hard to sleep knowing the snakes somewhere. I was on the different level of the house. My brother lived in the basement, essentially. Yeah, you're right. I mean, I guess it didn't bother me at the time, but maybe I should have been a little more weird. I can't believe your parents weren't just freaking out. They might have been. But a ball python is not poisonous. It doesn't really bite. It just kind of wraps itself around you. Your throat? That's fine. You can deal with that. It was like this big.

No, I know, but still, I agree with you. Because, I mean, they could hang out like above a door frame. Oh, they could have. And then just drop, just, I mean. I had a snake the other day. I lifted my garage door and there was a little snake there and then it ran, well, it slithered into my garage.

And I freaked out. I was able to get a picture and I sent it to Jesse Rothacker and he was able to tell me that it was a garter snake and that it was fine. So it eased my mind a little bit, but I never found it. I don't know. Well, it probably got back out. I hope so. Yeah. We used to catch snakes all the time as kids. My dad would take us out. I remember walking through

will the wilderness pillowcases just trying to catch them yeah i don't even i don't remember we probably wouldn't bring them back yeah for what purpose you just want to catch them like you catch fish just to like have it and then you then you let it go yeah i think it'd be fun to go i i yeah i've always liked snakes a lot but it's yeah as i've gotten older it's like you're like i don't want one as a pet anymore but i deal with it i do and i i the snakes i pretty new at when i was a kid i knew everything all i did was read snake books wow i

I love it. Does Harper still have a, was it a chowchilla? Or what was it she had? What did she have? A guinea pig. A guinea pig. Okay. No. What'd you call it?

Isn't there something called a chowchilla? Yeah. I think that's a thing in Mexico that no one can find. Chupacabra? Yeah. Chowchilla. That sounds like a chow like the dog. Chowchilla. I'm telling my grandma I'll try to order at a Mexican restaurant. Get a quesadilla, jalapeno. We have Sonny's. Yeah, Sonny's not here now. And then she had a fish too.

I thought it was called twinkle and I think she called it cause she was real little something else, but I thought, yeah, yeah. Or yeah, I forget what it was, but, uh, that fish we, Laura went to clean the bowl one day and we moved it over and then you go back and she put it in like a cup and then we go back and then the fish is gone.

We still don't know where that fish is. Wow. And there's a, you know, we have an air conditioner vent was right there. So you're like, maybe it went down there. But we stuck our hand way down in there. It's just crazy to be like, just a little fish. You're like, I don't know where that fish went. Could a holly have grabbed it real fast? I mean, we thought maybe. I mean, it was just such some, but I don't, it was all at the, we were all just standing right there. And it's like, where's the fish? You know, I don't get it.

I don't know. Still don't know. Maybe it made its way out. Found some water somewhere. Maybe. So dogs are the most popular pet. Cats are obviously second. Third, I read two different things. One place I read

This is in America. It's goldfish or freshwater fish. And the other place I read it's ferrets. It's the third most popular. That's... Pet in America? Yeah. Oh, yeah. More than fish? I remember thinking you wanted a ferret. A ferret was such a cool pet at one point. Yeah, but they stink. Yeah. Yeah.

I heard Theo Vaughn called a ferret the limousine of rats. It's like one of the funniest things I've ever heard. That's all I think about now. Yeah, that is very funny. Yeah, they were really cool. I remember there was some movie that I was watching, and at the beginning of the movie, they were having these animal fights, and they had a ferret versus a snake or something. And everybody would say that a ferret could kill a snake, but in the wild, not in a cage. Wild ferrets.

Like a fair, like not in a, uh, a fair or honey badger. No, there's something else that they would fight. Uh, King Cobras. Oh yeah. Uh, what was Ricky Tiki Tavi? Huh? What was Ricky Tiki Tavi?

I don't know who that is. I'm laughing because that's like a cartoon from the 60s that I would only... Can you Google Ricky Tiki Tommy? Yeah. It's cracking you up now. That's like you're... It's the opposite of the noise that we can't hear because of our age. Yeah. You're doing the exact... Oh, a mongoose. A mongoose. Boom.

It's a short story, 1894 short story collection. Wow. About adventures of a valiant young Indian gray mongoose. It has often been anthologized. We got there. Maybe it was a mongoose, but we always thought that it was a ferret that could kill a snake. No, it was a mongoose was the big one that could fight a snake.

Well, anyway, they made it a cartoon years later. You remember that cartoon? Oh, the rickety-ticky-tobby from 1965. Yeah, there you go. In the Soviet Union. Well, I was into Soviet stuff back there. Yeah. Yeah. It was before the Cold War. Yeah. Before we were out of it. Yeah. Because I used to go to Russia all the time. It's crazy. Yeah. Because things really got weird between us when I was about in seventh grade. Yeah.

So last year, Americans spent $137 billion on their pets. Jeez. Up 10% just from the year before. They say pets are the new kids and plants are the new pets. That's what people say. Who says that? That's an expression now. Not an expression, but just because people are not having a lot of kids.

Like we're not even really having enough kids to like replenish. Yeah. Yeah. The replacement rate. Yeah. So everybody, you know, cause everybody has pets. Like I was in Chattanooga one time, which I'll be going there on Friday, but I was in Chattanooga and they have a dog park.

And it's just like, it really is like young people like they would be out with their kids. Right. Yeah. But they're out with their dogs at brunch playing the music real loud. The dogs probably hate it. Well, yeah. Pets are getting where you're, it's just, yeah, it's a person in your house. Yeah. Yeah. Their relationship with it's, yeah, I think it's, it's nice. People will be marrying their dogs soon.

What a soon. Five years. Five years. That is soon. Yeah. Yeah. You think they're going to, you want to bet? You want to bet on this? 20 bucks? I don't gamble, but I'll take a friendly bet with you. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's what that is. Gambling. That's no money though. We'll just 20 bucks. We'll just make it. So you gamble. You just don't ever do. I'll, I'll gamble. You just don't ever have any stakes. I'll do a $20 Papa John's gift card. There you go. All right, let's do that. You got to buy whoever, whoever five years. Dusty, do you really think we'll be here in five years? Well, I think 2030 is where it's going to get real wild. Yeah. Okay. So we got a few years left. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's already, it's crazy if it's not wild now. How do we know, like, does someone just have to marry their dog? I think there has to be a sanctioned, like... A conversation. The conversation has to be about should people be allowed to marry their pets? It can't be, I'm sure you could find someone right now that has tried to marry their dog. But if there's like a conversation of people being like, you want to say pets, animals, just say we should say animals to make it more...

I think it's dog specific. It's going to be an animal. It's going to be a dog. If anybody, maybe a cat. Yeah. I don't think. Yeah. I thought you would be more open to, for this bet. You're so confident. Yeah. I think it's going to be dogs. Let's keep it dogs. Yeah.

I mean, I agree with you because I've heard you talk about- I don't know if they'd marry them. They might try to save their kids and be on their insurance or that kind of thing. Yeah, I agree. That's what it's going to be. Yeah. They're going to have- Like a co- Yeah. Rights like that. I mean, I agree that we'll go to that place too, but I do think that- I mean, I'm going to stick with the Mariana dog. Okay. Okay. Okay. I mean, I know you're not a big dog fan. I do agree with you that-

We now treat our dogs like kids. And I mean, I'm guilty of that, but I also think I treat my daughter like a kid. So I can do both. Well, it's a, yeah, it's, it's still, it's still different. I mean, even if you treat your, it is different. You treat your, you, you can, it's like, it's a lot of responsibility. You got to have a dog and all this. When your dog dies, you're,

It's a dog and you move on pretty quickly. Yeah. You know, I opened for John Lovitz a few times. Very nice guy. He, I always liked him a lot. And, uh, one, one weekend I was working with him and every night we would go out and,

to a sushi restaurant and it would be me, John Lovitz, the manager of the club and John Lovitz's dog. And John Lovitz and his dog would sit on one side of the booth and me and the manager would sit on the other side and John Lovitz would order his dog a bowl of chicken, which it's, you know, it's fine. It's great. What kind of restaurant are you in? It was a sushi restaurant. Mm-hmm.

And I wasn't... I'm not mad at John Lovitz for doing it. I mean, he loved his dog. But I just always thought it was really funny. Just to...

For one thing, just to be sitting across the table from John Lovitz was fun to me. But John, he had his dog there and it was, yeah. I had to take his dog out to use the bathroom when I opened for him while he was on stage. It was just me and the dog in the green room. I do that for Angela. Really? I have to hold Angela's dog.

for her closer. And then when she says, thank you, good night, I put the dog around and the dog runs out on stage. Oh, she brings the dog on stage? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. There's... Yeah, I think about...

Getting a tour dog. We're just out on the road so much that you're like, it'd be fun to have a little... Could you have one on the bus? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. You could bring Holly. Holly came one time with us. Yeah, Holly came. Yeah, I actually should try to do that one time and just be like, see if I really want it and just be like, I'm going to bring Holly with me this week and then we'll just see what she does. But it's always the...

I like the idea of it. I have a little problem with that. I feel like there's an arrogance to it. It's like people are working. But people do like dogs. But there's something that feels like, who do I think I am that I can do whatever I want? There's something about that. I get that. I agree.

But then there is like... It's fun just to have a dog. It's fun to just be like... You know, everyone on the tour is like, yeah, we like... I do think you could bring your dog if you want. But I'm also... Yeah, I mean... Yeah, you could definitely bring your dog if you want. But I...

If I were like on tour with somebody and they brought that, I'd be like, oh man, I wish the dog was not here. But if you, I mean, it is your tour, right? So if you want to bring a dog, you're definitely welcome to bring a dog. Yeah. And if I were on the, I would not say, ah, can't believe you brought this dog. But in my head, I would always be like, I wish this dog was not here. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I'd want to bring a dog and then not have to do anything. It's like, I want the dog. I want just the positives of the dog where it's like the dog could sit in my lap. It could, you know, lay in your bed and I want to walk with you or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. You need the dog and a person to tend to the dog. Yeah. Chase. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You bring an owl on the road. Yeah. Something like that. On my arm. I let it go at night. I feel like you would get on YouTube and you go, there is a snake somewhere. Yeah. All right. Good night. There's something different about a dog or something.

human beings relationship with a dog is something it's different it's they're happy always happy to see it yes and it's it's that kind of thing that when you see a dog they're always in a great mood to see you they're very excited they're very affectionate it's the same way i understand talking with kids like i thought about it like after snl i came home and uh i took uh

Harper and her cousins, we went to, did I tell, I might've said it. We went to go, I said, let's go eat fast food. We're going to pick, everybody picks their, the, the, what's the most perfect meal.

You can pick. So it was like we all talked. So they were, you know, they got a firehouse, like Harper and them love firehouse subs. So it was like firehouse subs, McDonald's fries, and a Sonic Blast. And then I. I'd love to do this with you at some point. Yeah. Yeah. And then, well, we could do it. We should have a day to do it. You go pick. You just get. You get. Piecemeal. You get a piecemeal and go, I'm going to get what I like the best of. Yeah.

And then I forget my nephew, like my and Zach and they like it was like them three. I am blinking on what I even got. I was at McDonald's. I went to McDonald's. I mean, mine's like I'm probably going to go to McDonald's. And then I think I got a Sonic Blast. I would have done a Dairy Queen. There's not really a Dairy Queen around here. But I think I got a Sonic. Yeah, I got a Sonic Blast. And then I got fries and maybe I forget something else.

But yeah, so we did that. But what I enjoyed, and I think it's the same mentality with the dog, is like when we were riding together, it was like we did not talk about Saturday Night Live. Like it's because it's kids. And then you're talking about like what the food is. You know, I think a dog feels like that when someone comes home. It's like.

There's no real world. I mean, obviously it's a dog, but like you're, there's like not a real world thing. It's like, if your dog has a problem, it's like, you got to deal with that problem with that dog. That dog's happy to see it lays on you. It's just. Dog's not asking you questions. Yeah. Yeah. Not telling you what's been going on with it. You ever heard of GK Chesterton? There's an old author. I have heard of that. I don't know how, but I haven't heard of that. He wrote Ricky Teeny Tommy, I think. Some Christian. Yeah.

He said he wrote this essay called On Dogs. And at one point in it, he's like looking at his dog in front of the fire and reflecting on it. And he says, man ought to have six legs.

I was just, he's like those other four legs are like a part of us in a way that it's just not the case for other animals. The, the scientific reason that we, you know, we created dogs out of wolves. Like 10,000 years ago. Yeah. Like a long time ago. And we, we evolved together. Dogs and humans do have like a special relationship. Yeah. And I like our cats, but I do think there's something, the dog is like something special.

Oh, yeah. I learned from the Missouri part two episode. I didn't I never got to share this fact, but I'll share it now that the man's best friend line came from a trial in Missouri where a man's dog was shot by a neighbor. And the neighbor said he was like he thought it was like a wolf or a coyote or something that was trying to kill his livestock, shot and killed it.

He sued, they went to trial and the guy got on stand and shared this kind of poetic story about how much his dog meant to him and enough to,

make the jury like kind of get on his side. And I think the local paper or something labeled it as this man's best friend. And that's how that phrase like that. Yeah. I mean, I do like dogs and I, you know, when you talk about that, like a dog out and out on a farm and all that sort of stuff, I mean, and by the fire, I mean like, and then the dog not giving you any, like just being happy to see, I mean, that all sounds great. I mean, I love that, but I just feel like our lives are insane.

In such a way now to where it's like, you know, you live in the suburbs, you have a dog and it's like, anytime you want to go out of town, you got to figure out some dog situation. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. I mean, I always think for younger people, a lot of young people have dogs. I think that's a huge mistake. Yeah. People in their twenties and you have a dog is it's a... Takes over your life. It takes over your life and you...

It's, it's, and it's a worry and a hassle. And I, you like, you like the idea of the dog and all this, but it's just, it's, you know, you really put that burden on somebody in your family. You know, not always, but you know, but it's, it's just a lot, you know, a dog is a lot. And, you know, when you're young, you're,

You're kind of running around. You want to be out. You want to be doing stuff. You don't think that can help you mature though before you have kids? Nah. Sorry. Nah. Well, I just say, I knew some people like back when I was drinking that, you know, they would have dogs and they would have to, I knew a girl specifically, she had like this hunting dog. It was a very nice dog.

But she would keep it either in her bedroom or in a cage. And she would go to work. And then she would go to happy hour somewhere. And half the time, she'd come home drunk. The dog's been in the cage all day or in the bedroom. Her bedroom's destroyed. It's just like it's not fair to the dog. Yeah. It's like – Especially a hunting dog. Yeah. You think –

You're it's a it's actually yeah, you can argue it's you know animal abuse selfish. No, it's selfish more than But it's you but I'm look there's gonna be people that are great with dogs Yeah, and so yes There is a I think there is a level of maturity that you could have because there is a lot of people with dogs but I I just think it depends on how busy your life is What kind of situation you're in like I mean I was in New York and you would comics would have dogs and you're like, oh

You know, like I got to go just the weight of their, you know, we're all hanging out and it's like, I got to go let my dog out. And you're like, that energy is, is,

And you're just, you know, you're kind of like, ah, you know, now you just, and then they leave and then we end up hanging out longer. And it's like, well, they had to go let it go. And then you're like, why do you have a dog? Or they never had a dog and they're just trying to get away. Yeah. I could. It's a good excuse. It is a good excuse. My buddy used to have it. I lived on Folly beach for a while. My buddy used to have like this great Dane and it was really fun. We would get on like a longboard skateboard and like hold the leash of the dog and the dog could pull us down the street on the skateboard. That was a lot of fun. Yeah.

But it's like, it wasn't my dog, right? So it's like, I got to do that and then go, you know, you take care of the dog. Yeah. You got to like, you know, yeah. Holly doesn't lay, she won't like, she likes to lay near you and be around you and all that. She won't lay on you or anything. There's nothing, you know, she doesn't have that kind of vibe, but she wants to be around all the time. You know, I looked this up. Cats don't, cats don't even know cats.

Cats sort of think that their owners are just big cats. They don't even recognize there's something different from them. So they just treat you like a big cat that kind of feeds them. But a dog, clearly like a dog recognizes...

This is something other than me. Yeah. It knows. So GK Chesterton said, he said, whatever it means to be a human being is imprinted inside a dog in a more than you could ever put it in words. Something about that. Yeah. It's nice. You know, you like, you got fired. Yeah, I did, man. Now on your birthday, you're going to go home to your two dumb cats. Yeah. I like the cat. They think you're a cat.

Cats are, it's the, it's no responsibility in a way. There's a little, but a lot less. It's the litter boxes of whole thing. Yeah. It can take over the house, but yeah, I'm not worried about them at home right now. No, I don't have to rush home to let them out. Yeah. You know, they're just like probably wrestling with each other and just wait on me to feed them. That's pretty much it. Yeah. Anyway.

Well, I was going to list some celebrities that have exotic pets, but we're running out of time. But Leonardo DiCaprio has a tortoise that's 23 years old right now, but it could live up to 100. Wow. So somebody's getting that tortoise. Yeah, that's cool. I don't know. But it's, yeah.

And they say they never stop growing, right? As long as they live, they never stop growing. Yeah. I mean, when it's Australia, you mean the tortoise, it's like 190 some, you know. Yeah. There's a tortoise. It might've been the one, there was one that just died that was like from, with Darwin. Yeah. Imagine that, like you get that and then you're just-

You're throwing four generations of a burden of this tortoise. That's like, where is this dumb turtle from? And it's like, I didn't want a turtle. You're like, well, you remember your ancestors that came over on boats? They got one. And now you got it in a Honda Civic because of this tortoise. Oh, yeah. You're like, why do they got this deck of tortoises? A couple more Salma Hayekers. 190. That was 200 years ago.

200 years ago. It was 1823. 1823. Imagine just roughly if they live that long, 1823, you could have someone from 1823.

And you have his tortoise. That turtle lived through the Civil War. It was, I mean, it was 40 when the Civil War happened. Too old to fight. It was too old to fight the war. I mean, can you imagine that? That's crazy. If you got to, I think they lived through it. I'm saying all this. Yeah, but imagine being 110 and World War II starts up and you're like, oh, geez. And then, you know, yeah, this tortoise lives. And then now you're living like you live now. And you have a tortoise from...

You're so removed family member that you're like having to like feed it lettuce. And it's like, what are y'all doing? You know, and you're like, oh, it's a thing to pass down. Well, Salma Hayek has an owl that lives in the house. All right. Lands on her head sometimes at night. Wow. That seems scary. That'll kill people. And Mike Tyson had a tiger that ripped a woman's arm off. He paid her $250,000. Worth it.

I don't know. An arm is tough to lose. I'm talking about for him. Yeah, for him. It's a great deal for him. She jumped over his fence and got into the cage. That changes everything. You left that out. I don't even know if you have to give her $250,000. He's being nice. Yeah.

I mean, I think there was just, he just did it just to keep it out of the media and all that stuff. He told this much later on like on a podcast or something. Obviously Michael Jackson had a bunch of, you know, bubbles. The champ was very popular. Elvis had a champ.

Tracy Morgan has octopus. I like that. I don't like an octopus. That's probably my least favorite animal. It's in an aquarium. Oh, yeah. He doesn't hang out with it on the couch. I know it's in water. I don't like them at all, dude. Why? They're very smart. I don't like that they have beaks.

I don't like that you can put them in a jar and they can open the jar. I don't like any of that. From the inside. I don't like that they can fit through a keyhole. I don't like that at all. That's scary. Yeah, dude. Yeah. So I would never bring one into the house. Because it could get... Yeah. You'd have to be like Fort Knox. How smart would an animal have to be before it becomes uncomfortable that you have one in your house? Like an octopus is...

near as close to near human intelligence as we can get basically. It's like having a gorilla in your house. Do you think an animal's ever had another animal as a pet?

Not that, I mean, have we seen examples of that in nature? There was a couple they thought. Coco, the monkey. Yeah. I think it was actually a gorilla, but it had like some type of pet for a while. What kind of pet? It kind of was, it was like a ferret or something. And just kept it around it? Yeah, I think it ended up killing it, but. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah. Yeah, it's tough. They don't get it. They don't completely get it. They get it as much as you think they're going to get it. And one day they. They sit on it. Yeah, he doesn't.

Yeah. Is what it is. Yeah. All right. That's a pretty good spot. Yeah. That was fun. Yeah. Uh, all right, everybody. Uh, I forgot. I'm in Erie, Pennsylvania, uh, Cleveland this week. Uh, are you in Cleveland? No. Oh, are you in Erie? No. Uh, maybe somewhere else. It did seem like you're like, Oh, I'm going to be there too. I'm saying those are fun places. Yeah. Uh,

Uh, yeah. Good. Uh, yeah, I'll be, I'm excited. Uh, yeah. All right. So Cleveland, Cleveland, Erie. So it will be a good time. Mike McKeown's with me. Nice. Gary Veeder, Lachlan Patterson. Ooh. And we're having Julian, uh, McColl has been hosting the show, which we have. It's really been great. It's, uh, it like is a fun sets the tone and it's, it's, it's a nice sets up for the nice evening that,

you know, everybody's very funny. Everybody does just trying to have a wonderful, pleasant, give you the most pleasant night we could give you. Awesome. Uh, the Saturday I will be at studio theater and little rock Arkansas. I think it's the first time I've ever even performed in Arkansas. All right. Wow. The whole state. I think I did maybe a casino in West Memphis, Arkansas. It's not a ton of comedy there. So, uh, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Nice man. This weekend I'm going international, baby. I'm going worldwide.

I'm going global. I'm going to Edmonton, Alberta, the West Edmonton wall, the comic strip. I'm there all weekend. I love that. Ticket sales are okay. I've been there. They're not unbelievable. Like the club's probably not as pumped as I am, but it looks like all the shows are going to be good. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm very excited about it. That's good. One time I was downtown Edmonton. I went to a place, I think it was called meat and I had the best breakfast.

brisket I've ever had. Meat? I think it's what it was called. Meat was written on the side. It might have a better name, but if you see it, it'll say meat of the best brisket I've ever had. It was called open. It's so good. All right. I'll check that out. It's so good. Yeah. I'll look it up. Meat's not a bad name though. Yeah. I like it. I mean, it's like very clear what they do. Yeah. Yeah. I think what we did was, uh, that would did each fork full, but a little meat pickle, a little mustard, uh,

And it is so good. Wow. I'll check it out. I'll be in Chattanooga this weekend. I think the show is very close to being sold out. I think there's only single seats available. Wow. And then on Saturday, I'll be in Bowling Green at the Skypack.

which I am, I don't believe I'm close to selling that one out, but it is a much larger theater. So like 1600 seats. So I've never done a show in Bowling Green. Bowling Green is not the easiest market. Yeah. It's, it's a,

Yeah, I'm not with school there. But Bowling Green's not the easiest market. It doesn't, like a Chattanooga or like others, it's just not, you know. I've never done a show there at all. Yeah, I don't, I mean, many times. Yeah, I just don't think they, like, it's, that's a town that's probably, I mean, I was there for Western for my semester. I love Bowling Green. Yeah. But it was the, but I just, I don't think it's,

I mean, I think it's getting there. I'm excited about it. I'm pumped about both shows. So it's going to be great. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, we love you. We hope you have a great week. We're here next week, right? Yep. So we will all see you next week. All right. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

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