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Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what Big Wireless does. They charge you a lot, we charge you a little. So naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you.

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Brian Bates in the house. Here with Dusty Slay, Aaron Weber. Fall is the perfect time to cozy up with a hot drink and enjoy the season. And now with the Northwest Federal Credit Union credit card, you can make the most of this time of year. Earn double points on everything you purchase with your NWFCU credit card. Every swipe gets you closer to your next reward.

Don't miss this exclusive offer. Visit your nearest NWFCU branch or apply online at nwfcu.org. Northwest Federal Credit Union, official credit union of the Washington Commanders. Terms and conditions apply. But it's coming back soon. This isn't long term. Yeah, Lauren Harper already back. Well, this is how the Batesville podcast will always be.

Right. In what way? No Nate? Well, if it's Nate land, Nate's here. But if you're introducing it as the Batesville podcast, it will always be this way. That's true. I don't see Nate signing off to the Batesville podcast while he's here. You don't think Nate comes on as a guest every now and then? No. Yeah, maybe. Maybe he does a guest appearance next week. Maybe he will. I think he's, at this point, he's probably about to go down in New Zealand. That's pretty cool. Yeah.

Then he heads home. That is awesome. I hope he gets into some homesteading while he's down there. I hope he does, too. I saw some photos. He's been to the zoo. The Robert Irwin Zoo, right? Yeah. I don't know if that's what it's called. Steve? Well, Robert's his son. He's the star of the show now. Oh. You guys like a zoo? I'm not a big fan of a zoo. Yeah, I like a zoo. What don't you like about it? I don't know. I feel like when I was younger, I liked it, right? When I was a kid. But now I always feel like...

All these animals are locked up. Well, they are. You know what I mean, though? It just feels like, ah, they're just wishing they were out on the range somewhere. Now they're locked up and I'm just in here looking at them. But a lot of them have never known a life not in a zoo. That's sadder to me.

Why is it sad? They don't even know what they're missing. Yeah, but I feel like there's a natural instinct. And they're like, I'm missing something out here. I don't think they miss the Serengeti if they grew up in Little Rock. Well, maybe. I've owned mice before in the past. I had a little mice collection. And...

They spent the- Collection? Yeah. Well, mice breed. You're like that guy from the Green Mile. Yeah. Make them do tricks and stuff. Well, yeah, a little bit. I mean, mice really get at it though. You know what I mean? And they have kids. And I had so many mice. And they spend their whole lives trying to escape the cage. Yeah. Yeah. So when I let them go, I turned them loose in the woods.

Oh, that was nice of you. Because I figured they all got ate. They all died in 10 minutes. Yeah. But at least for that last 10 minutes, they were like, I'm free. At least they got to feel the sun one last time. Yeah. Before a hawk ate them. I've always felt that way about zoos too, but.

Pro zoo people say these animals usually are going to die so quickly out in the wild because they're fighting for food and against other scavengers. And they have a life of luxury where they get every meal to them. They don't have to worry about being attacked. You mean the ones that were born in there, they're going to die?

No, I'm just saying if they were just out in the wild, they would have a much harder life than being in a zoo where they know where the meal is coming from. There's not something about to kill them. And they're not going to die from being eaten by another animal like they inevitably would be in the wild.

while. But like, you could make that argument for jail in a way too, right? You could, I don't know if I want to, but like, well, you're in jail. Listen, you're in jail. You don't have a lot of room to run around, but we're going to give you all your meals. You're going to get some TV. Yeah. You'll get some companionship, you know, it's a good point, but you know, people come by and look at you all day. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do jail tours. What if they had jail too? I know they have jail tours of empty jails, but what if they had like, like,

you know, jail active jail tours. Well, that wouldn't be nice. I did a juvie tour. I don't know if it was a tour. Did they yell at you? The kids? I scared straight. No, I was an adult. Oh, okay. I was in college and we did the class where we spent a week at juvie.

hanging out with the kids oh i think you told me about i used to have a long bit about this but you're supposed to teach football or something to i was me and the football team okay i was only because i had failed a couple classes oh yeah summer school i remember this uh and we played pickup basketball and i got picked last in the whole all of juvie i got picked i mean there's a seven-year-old ahead of me uh but yeah i guess you can call that a tour

You know, I did a, like a, I tried to do a, like a big brother program one time. And I think I got rejected by the kid. Like, I think the kid was like, you know what? I'm good. No, I'm more of a lone wolf anyway. Yeah. Thanks, but no thanks. I don't know if I need a brother. Yeah. We went to like a Chick-fil-A. I don't even know how they let me do it. I just took him to a Chick-fil-A. We hung out and I was just trying to give advice, but I was probably hung over, probably smoked cigarettes on the way. Where was this? Charleston. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But I was, you know, I felt like a good influence, but maybe he stopped it or maybe other people were like, he keeps coming back smelling like cigarettes. Yeah. If you're a big brother hungover, smell that cigarettes. The program probably stopped it. Yeah. That kid's probably going to do better on his own. Well, I don't know, but maybe. What kind of advice were you giving? I don't know. It's a long time ago, but, you know, just...

Good old advice, I think. Well, back to the zoo. I saw a 60 Minutes piece about there's some billionaire who's buying up zoos and closing them because he agrees with Dusty and thinks that they're inhumane. And he took a bunch of chimpanzees and put them back out

Yeah.

Yeah. You know, they let him go and he didn't know what to do. Yeah. He's been in that place his whole life. Very similar. Yeah. You keep comparing them to jails and prisons. Well, that's what it feels like. Okay. Okay. That's the closest we got. We don't have like a human zoo. Now, that would be something. A human zoo. Well, yeah. You have like the freak show at the fair. Yeah. I guess that's as close as we got. Do they still do that? I don't think so.

Maybe. Some of the people walking around here would be like, I'm weirder than these guys. Circus. You ever see a picture of the world's fattest man from 1920? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, imagine if you were like a real heavy time traveler and you went to visit him. And they were like, whoa, look at this dude. We got a new champ here. Yeah, I think he weighed like 370 or something where you're like, yeah, dude, I know 100 people that weigh more than me. Yeah. Go to any Walmart. Yeah, I saw this story about the – are you going to show that? Yeah.

This is that zoo in China where everybody's alleging that it's not really a bear, that it's just a guy dressed in a bear suit. Have you seen this, Dusty? No. I want to get your thoughts, just your initial impressions on whether this is a – let's just sit through this terrible ad. It's not even working. Well, you know, there's a man that apparently has changed himself into a border collie.

Have you seen that? I saw that. No, I haven't seen that. He was convincing the dogs. Well, it was a suit. He didn't change. He didn't go full-time dog. I think they changed him. No, it's a suit that he had made. Oh, okay. You thought he had surgery? I don't know what the guy's up to. There's a lot going on these days. This is the bear that people were saying were fake across.

I mean, he gives a dusty wave. You get a good shot of it right there. What do you think? Look at the back there. I think that's a bear suit for sure. They don't have the neck on good. So you think they couldn't afford a real bear, so they just put a guy out there? I think it was a punishment. They were like, you got to be the bear today. It is drooping there in the back a little bit. Now, here's the thing. Now, there is, I thought that too, but there is a type of bear called a sun bear.

That that's exactly what it looks like. I had never seen this type of bear before. Their neck looks all weird like that. They stand up straight like human beings. That's a real animal. All right. Well, I support it. I think it's real then. Yeah. But the way he's standing up, though. It looks so fake. I saw it and I was like, oh, come on. Yeah. It does look like an old man, the way he's standing up. And it's like his backside is just straight down. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Well, you want to get into where we've been, where we're going? Yeah, let's do a little where we've been, where we're going. I went to Austin, Texas this weekend. Had a lot of fun. I did a theater called the Paramount Theater. All right. Hot show. My buddy's Alec Parent and Drew Harrison with me. Yeah. Hot show. Very good. And I also. Yeah. That's sick. Look at that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Now it wasn't completely sold out, but some people left before we took that picture. So don't let it fool you. Yeah. I zoomed in on that upper, upper deck. It was not completely sold out, but I, you know, I've not done a lot of comedy in Austin. So to sell as many tickets as I did in a theater. Yeah. Yeah. It felt very good. It was awesome. It's a big theater. The last time I was there is 2018. I did that with Bert Kreischer. Yeah.

So here's a picture from me and Brian. I wish. So in five years, I guess I'll be doing stadiums like bird. I mean, that's what happens. You're going to have a movie. Yeah. And you're going to take your shirt off. Yeah. I also did a set at Joe Rogan's club, the mothership, the comedy mothership. Here's a picture of that. Yeah. I did the little boy room.

Yeah. I thought you just said it. Sounds kind of weird. I know. They have the fat man room and the little boy room. Which are the two bombs that were dropped in World War II. Oh, is it? Did you know that? I had no idea. That's what they were called. Fat man and a little boy. Okay. And you know why he chose that beyond just the reason you gave? No. No.

Because he's big into UFOs, Joe Rogan is. Oh, why Rogan? I thought you meant why Truman, whoever named the actual bomb. No, why Joe Rogan? Why is that? Because he's big into UFOs, and UFO sightings started to really take off after those two atomic bombs were dropped. Oh, okay. And the theory is that after that, they got their attention, and they're coming here to Earth to watch us, to make sure we don't...

destroy ourselves. Oh, well, that's kind of reassuring. I hate that theory. They're here to keep an eye on us. You don't like it at all. No.

No, like we always we talked about this so many times, but we're always like painting aliens like they're just like these wise, powerful, intelligent. I think they're just rednecks out there lost if they even exist at all. They're demons. But you know what I mean? Yeah. What is funny, they come from billions of miles away, but then they crash a lot to.

to go that far. Yeah, they have a lot of mechanical problems. That landing's the tough part. How was that club, Dustin? It was great. It was really good. Like, if I lived in Austin, I'd be trying to do that club every day. Well, I think they all are. Yeah. Those comics there. I mean, it was really great. I mean, it was both, it was sold out well before, well before the day of the show. There was no, not a single comic listed on the website. It just sold out on its own. Wow. And it was great.

I mean, that's a city we didn't mention last week. If you got drafted to a city, Austin's got a lot of clubs. Yeah. Austin's great. But it was 103 to 105 the whole time I was there.

Even at night, it was in the high 90s. Austin is a hot place. Well, Sixth Street's beautiful. Yeah, it is. Sixth Street is bizarre because you're walking down the middle of it. You're like, this is chaotic, but it's not insane. And then you look every alleyway. You just look. You're like, oh, dude, I'm not walking down.

It's so crazy. And this time I got to experience a little of the outskirts of Austin. Which you liked a lot better, I'm guessing. Yeah. I went to Terry Black's Barbecue. I went to a couple of Tex-Mex places. Had a brisket taco in the morning. And that's what I'm all about. I did pay. Is that a famous barbecue place, Terry Black's Barbecue? I think so. I did pay $36 for three strips of brisket and some coleslaw.

That doesn't surprise me. But it was delicious. Yeah, I'm sure it was good. Dude, I was at the airport this weekend and I was like, I just need something to eat. I grabbed a sandwich, one of those like prepackaged sandwiches from like, I don't even know what you call it. Like a little shelf or refrigerated shelf. Yeah. And I grabbed that in a water.

And I put it on the counter and the girl goes, that's $30. Oh my. And I go, can I see the breakdown of that? And the sandwich was like $22. What? And the water was seven. So what airport is this? Uh,

Burbank. Okay. Burbank airport, California. Yeah. So I go, I think I'm good on this. I think I'll just suck it up till I get to where I'll just go have some water from the fountain. That is a $20. It wasn't even like a good, like a $20 sandwich from Terry black, like a barbecue place. I at least understand. Yeah. And I had three strips and I ate two of them and none of the coal saw and I was stuffed. I mean, it was great.

I had, I had, I had at the Mexican restaurant, I had queso and had a little ground beef in it and guacamole. Oh yeah. Mixed it up. Big time. By the time I was full on the queso. Yeah. And then I ate the meal. That's how they get you. Yeah. I fill up on chips and salsa every time I'm at a Mexican restaurant. Oh yeah. Yeah. But we ordered a sweet tea and the guy was like, we have unsweet tea. You sweeten it yourself. Right. Real condescending. First off, I'm like, this is Texas. I don't know why you're treating us like this.

But even in the North, they always act like you're some hillbilly backwoods redneck because you want sweet tea, right? Right. But they have the sugar. So the only difference is you're putting it in there for me instead of me doing it. Yeah, I'm just asking you to mix it up a little bit for me. Yeah, just do a little something. Try to earn it before you ask me the question of whether you want a tip or not. You know what I mean? It's like...

come on i'm at a phase now if that guy had said that's me in that tone of voice i probably just got up and left i know were you tempted to well i was with such a big group of people that this would be really awkward uh and they were all there like for my show so i feel like they would all be like well do we all need to leave or what but it's like yeah this guy was pretty rude uh-huh like he asked drew harrison ordered like a chicken enchilada and somebody else had ordered steak and the guy was like how do you want how do you want it cooked

chicken and chalada he's like i don't know all the way you know what i mean i don't want raw chicken and the guy goes so you don't want the steak then he's like i've never wanted this relax a little bit the steak has never been on the table yeah yeah what are you talking about yeah tough well that's awesome dude yeah it was great we had a great time well i think you guys are gonna win as far as because i know you had an exciting weekend too um i was in uh

Foley, Alabama. All right. Big fan of the state. Yeah. Did a show at Snook Christian Academy, back-to-school event for the teachers in service there, and they were great, and we had a good time. You guys know Foley? Is that a secret school? It's not like Snook. Sounds like a secret, like we snuck in. I think that's someone's name. This is the hat I'm wearing for their school. And I think it's a different Snook. And-

Snook? Yeah. Snook. I know Foley because that's where Julio Jones played for Foley. That's right. Yeah. There's a lot of, yeah. And that's around the Mobile area where my dad's family's from. Yeah. In fact, didn't they used to live in Fairhope? Yeah, they did. Yeah. After I left, I visited a friend who lived in Fairhope. Fairhope's beautiful, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's great. And they just did a personality test at the school and they wanted me to take it. It's one of those, like, it's called.

It's called Who Am I? Okay, I can't wait to hear this. Well, it's not going to make a lot of sense because they're colors, but I'm a blue. If you're listening, I'm a blue. There's gold, orange, blue, and green. They kept talking about it. What does it mean to be a blue? Yeah, how do you know that you're that? Well, I did this test, and I brought you guys a test if you ever want to take it. Color me blue. Just one, though? You're a mediator, a caretaker, a...

Well, optimistic. There's a test if you ever want to take it, Dusty. I mean, geez. Oh, yeah. You're true romantic, Brian? Yeah. Always has a kind word.

I mean, you've been disqualified already by four. Well, you know, off the podcast, Brian does always have a kind word. I didn't realize I was so brutal on the podcast. No, here's what you need. You need understanding, support, empathy. Yeah. Harmony, acceptance. Yes. Inspiration. I wish Nate was here. Yes. Yes. And you need to be authentic. Yep. Understood, nurturing and free to find meaning.

This is very beautiful, dude. Thank you. How do you find out what the back of mine doesn't have the... Well, that's just once you're done. So you're either a blue or a gold? That's it? We should have given us this before the... The world's divided into two types of people. We could have all took the test. I was going to, but some of us got here last minute, and I just decided to abandon. Serious.

Well, I mean, you came straight from the airport. I'm not blaming you. Okay. All right. I'm just like. I didn't know there was paperwork to be done. I could have done it on the car right here. What's OGBJ? That's the colors. It's a doctor for women. So you could be orange, I'm guessing, or green or blue or gold. Yes.

Yes. And mine was very, very tight. Did Snook Academy make this up or is this like a scientific thing? I think it's a scientific thing. I snuck it right in. Have you guys ever done an enneagram? That's where you're a number, right? I've never taken the test, but I've heard people talk about it. I did take it. I've also heard that it's demonic and so I reject it.

That's one reason why I didn't even offer this to you, Dusty, because I didn't think you'd want to do a personality test. I did hear that, though, and I do reject it. Okay. So it was too late. You took it. I guess we'll move on. No, no, no. Bobby Boucher's mom over here. It's the devil. Anyway, I had a great time there. First time ever. You guys ever done this? Flown to a gig and flown back the same day?

I've done that once and it's unbelievable, dude. I don't think I ever have. It's an amazing feeling. It's like it never even happened. You just pop in, pop out. It is wild sometimes. Like I'm sitting around at the house after coming home from a gig and I'm like, just a few hours ago, I was across the country. Yeah, I always feel that way too. Yeah. I was in Denver this morning. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It is crazy.

How far we've come. I know. Yeah. That would have been a trip that you might not ever come back from. You probably wouldn't. Like if you go to, Hannah says people back in the day on the frontier, when someone would leave, they would stand out and wave to them until they completely disappeared. Because they probably never see him again. Yeah.

And it might take a long time for them to pass over the, whatever they pass over. Horizon. Into the darkness. Well, maybe. You don't believe in a horizon? Out of the frame of vision. Well, come on. What's the horizon? I mean. Well, just. Okay. I.

I'm trying to think what a horizon. Well, I think that just at some point your eyes. So you can't see them anymore. Yeah, your eyes just can't see them. Oh, because horizon means going over. Right. The idea of the horizon is that we pass over. We're talking about the same thing. Yeah. Let's not get into the weeds. Yeah. But modern day zoom lenses have proven that when somebody is out of your vision, you're like, I can't see them anymore. You can zoom in and they come right back. They're still there walking.

Or driving, however they're going about it. Boating. Yeah. And if you zoom out far, you can see the Burj Khalifa from here.

I don't know what that is. It's the tallest building in the world. Where were you, Eric? I was in Los Angeles for a few days where I got to do a pretty cool moment. I got to do a spot at the Comedy Store. Look at that. The legendary Comedy Store. When you are a comedian, you start. This is a place everybody talks about.

Fans of comedy talk about it. I hung out there like three nights in a row. First time I got there, the photographer was like, it's your first time here? He's like, let's take some pictures. He did like a photo shoot of me in the club. So it was pretty exciting. I did it one time and they didn't take any photos of me. Well, you got to, you know. Yeah. Did you do the main room? Did you talk to the guy about lenses for a while? Maybe. Maybe.

That's probably what he's like. All right, I'm good. I just bought in the belly room. Okay. Which was awesome too. Yeah. It's the smallest room of the three, but it was sold out, packed,

It's one of those shows where everybody before me was murdering so hard. That part of you is like, I'm not supposed to be on this show, but it went great. That's how I felt at Joe Rogan's Club. I always feel like any, like the cool clubs, like LA, New York, Chicago. I'm like, ah, I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm like a road comic all of a sudden when I'm up in there. A hundred percent. I felt that way all weekend. I felt like I was an outsider there.

Yeah. And I'm like, not really a part of the club. Everybody was nice and welcoming. So it's all in my head. Yeah. I never have a problem. I did the main room at this comedy store one time and I came, I was first, there was no host. I was first on the lineup. I came out, there's a little step. I tripped and I'm like, I'm open. I already feel like an outsider. And then I tripped and I pulled it together though. It was a hot five minutes, but I, but it did not start well.

It was a lot of fun for me. And then yesterday, I had a headline that comedy works in Denver for the first time. A lot of folks came out. Very exciting to see everybody. That club is like perfect, dude.

yeah yes it is have you done the uh the comedy works or i have not i mean i i'd never done that downtown room you walk out there they're like right they're almost on stage it feels like they're so close to you yeah and they're just packed in and it was just like i mean it felt so good i don't know if it felt good to the audience if it was just a me thing yeah i'm hesitant to say i was like

it was unbelievable. The show felt that good. It's so good. I just did it this year. It's so good. Like the first show I did, I did a weekend. The first show I was like, it felt like they were almost like laughing at me where it was like some joke was happening where they were laughing at everything. I know. I mean, I checked my zipper like four times. Yeah. Yeah.

I was like, these jokes are normally not this funny. Yeah. Yeah. The jokes that are funny are getting laughs, but parts that usually don't get a big laugh is like getting a real laugh. Like, what's going on here? Yeah. Just a great crowd. Yeah. Great club. So it was a really fun weekend.

I'm happy to be back with you two guys, man. I'm pumped to be here. You met Jesse Daniel, right? Well, I've met him before, but he did come to my show in Austin. Yeah. Big fan of Jesse Daniel. Yeah. Here you two are right here. Yeah. Having a good time at the Paramount Theater. Yeah, it's great. He lives in Austin or just outside, and he's great. How do you say theater? Theater. Theater.

You say it that way too? I think so. Theater. Theater. Okay. Theater. I get in my head about it. It's a word I think about as I'm saying it. Maybe I say theater sometimes too, though. Yeah. I used to say theater. Okay. I put like through an R in there. Yeah. And I said that for years and then I got called out on it.

Pretty heavily. Yeah. And so now I try to overcompensate. Theater. That's what happens to accents. Once you become aware of what you're saying and other people around you aren't saying it, like y'all is like that for me. I used to say y'all all the time. And then I just kind of became aware that I was saying it. And I don't think I say it at all now.

Yeah. And I don't hate y'all. Right, right. You can hardly tell you're Southern. But I just, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like Hannah would say A, and then she says pasta instead of pasta. Pasta? Pasta. Whoa. And now she's like really become aware that she's saying pasta, and I think we're going to lose it. And I'm sad about it. Honey, pasta, pasta. Pasta. Pasta. No, it's pasta, pasta.

I know, but if she's trying to change, she's going to now say pasta. But yeah, you're right. It would be pasta, pasta. Rastafarian. Yeah. Okay. But I would say Rastafarian. Yeah, that's how you're supposed to say it. I would say it if you said. Theater. I went down to Paramount Theater in Austin, Texas. You ever see old school Tennessee people will say Warsh instead of Wash? Yes. Warsh.

Warsh. They put an R, like you're going to wash your clothes. You got to wash my- My family does that. Yeah, your family still does? Yeah. Some of them do. It is wild. I met someone in Charleston from Tennessee, and it was a girl probably a year younger than me, and she was saying, warsh. And I'm from Alabama. I'm like- I almost don't believe she did that. No, I believe she did, but I don't believe she did it without thinking about it.

Well, I think I don't know anything about this girl. I barely was listening to you talking about it just now. Is she from a small town? Yeah, I think so. I think she thought this will be an interesting thing to do. If I say wash, wash. And it works because you're still talking about it. I guess so. And I met her like 15 years ago. Yeah, she's still doing that.

Warsh. 20 years ago. Yeah, I just washed my car the other day. I don't believe she does that. Anyway, what's with all these comments? What about your family? You think they're making it up? You think Brian's family is making it up? No. They started it. I don't. But I'm guessing. Oh, how old is this girl you were talking to? I don't know. Let's say 40. Okay. At the time, 20. Okay. I don't believe any 20 year old is unironically saying Warsh.

I mean, I have to believe that. I just don't think it's cool enough to be like making that up. I think it is. Okay. Let's move on to these comments. But before we do, I was trying to segue from Jesse Daniel into game time. Oh, you know, well, since we are set, what does that have to do with Jesse? He's a music. Okay. Oh, I was looking for something there. So, okay. That was pretty good. And then we washed that right away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay.

Since we are so busy. I'm just getting rolling here. The second half of this podcast is going to be unbelievable. Just give me a minute to let the day come on in, as Dusty says. Yeah, do I say that? Yeah. Let the day come on in? Uh-huh. That sounds like something I would say one time. Since we are so busy, the only way we buy tickets is last minute, and Game Time has great prices on last minute tickets and flash deals.

GameTime is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all sports, music, comedy, and a thirder near you. We like the GameTime app because they make it so easy to see the seat views right there on the app. It is very quick and simple to use. They are the only ticket sales app that I know of that... Fall is the perfect time to cozy up with a hot drink and enjoy the season. And now with the Northwest Federal Credit Union credit card, you can make the most of this time of year.

Earn double points on everything you purchase with your NWFCU credit card. Every swipe gets you closer to your next reward. Don't miss this exclusive offer. Visit your nearest NWFCU branch or apply online at nwfcu.org. Northwest Federal Credit Union, official credit union of the Washington Commanders. Terms and conditions apply. All these, like, it's an ad read. I won't be able to handle it. You can't do that, dude. Just read it.

It's hard to do an ad read and then into the comments. Just read it conversationally. Listen, I've never related to an episode more than this one.

I was a beverage vendor for seven years, and I'm a paint vendor for Home Depot for the last six years, and I feel like I could sit down and talk for days with Dusty and Greg. We share way too many of the same opinions and situations. That was worse. I don't know if that's better yet. It's worse. That was fun, though, wasn't it? Yeah, except for Matt.

He was saying some nice things. Yeah, and I didn't process a word of what the comment actually said. All right, let's get with it. I've never related to an episode more than this one. I was a beverage vendor for seven years, and I'm a paint vendor for Home Depot for the last six years, and I feel like I could sit down and talk for days with Dusty and Greg. We share way too many of the same opinions and situations. All right. Well, I used to talk to the paint people all the time in the Home Depot. I love the paint vendors. Valspar, and that's all I can remember, but...

Sherman Williams. Sherman Williams. Yeah. I love the paint people. People always seem fancier than me. Are they a different type of people than the pesticide people? Yeah. I mean, we're dirtier. You know what I mean? We're out there stacking fertilizer. We're getting real work done. They're making cosmetic changes. You're trying to keep people. Well, that's true. They're coming in with paint strips to be like, look at the new colors that we have. Embarrassing. Yeah. And they got probably, they got a lot of them have company cars. Very nice.

And you say the Home Depot. It is the Home Depot, isn't it? Most people just say it's Home Depot. Well, there is a bit of a Mandela effect out there on that. Some people say it used to be Home Depot, and now it's the Home Depot. It's the Lowe's, though, right? I think it's just Lowe's. It's like Eagles, the band the Eagles. Yeah.

Which is my favorite point to make. I make it all the time and nobody's happy when I say it. It's just eagles. It's just eagles. Yeah. But it's hard to use that. What's your favorite? I'm going to go see eagles later. Yeah. It seems like they made a mistake and they're just trying to cover it now. Now we're just eagles. I'm going to see eagles concert. Yeah. It sounds crazy. Yeah. All right. Jasmine Lozano. Ooh.

I was not looking forward to comment reads with Nate missing, but Aaron didn't disappoint. Oh, thank you. Love seeing Dusty and Greg on their first day. It was adorable and entertaining. All right. He did do a good job. And I'm sorry, Jasmine, that I'm reading them this week.

You're doing a great job now. You've gotten it down. We've got a lot more to go. That was a tough one to be number two, though. Parker Jones. Can we have Nate walk Aaron through how to properly dismount an episode? That Aaron Land ending was rough. Okay. Well, how do we normally end up?

We love you all. None of this is lost on us. There you go. We love you all. And all right. Yep. Let's see how Brian does it this week. Yeah, Brian, you're dismounting. You're dismounting this time. All right. Because you're running the ship. Be practicing. Benny Esquivel. I'll be practicing over here on the side. Benny Esquivel. What do you think it is?

Esquivel. There you go. Esquivel. Something like that. Greg and Dusty may repeat jokes, but at least they add value other than being the butt of the joke. That'd be a harsh comment if I didn't know Brian was the one putting these together. I know. Well, that's 90% of this podcast, so it's a pretty big part. I guess you do still have to read it, don't you? Yeah. Either way, I'm going to see it.

I mean, some people don't even read comments, but you have to read them and put them together. Yeah. Aaron encouraged me one time. Just don't even read them. I told you we're scaling to the point where we need to stop looking at stuff. Yeah. I had to stop looking at stuff because-

look, our, the listeners podcast for all things considered are very nice and friendly and they get what we're doing, but it's just, it's like being a comic on stage. You see one person with their arms crossed and you focus on that. And, uh,

On my own personal podcast, the We're Having a Good Time podcast, I did a 20-minute rant on the Nateland Facebook group about the people calling me out for not eating bacon and then edited it out and never published it. Really? Yeah. But just go ahead and tell us now. You're up to heat, dude. Well, I went through a lot of the comments, comment by comment, kind of answering their questions. Yeah. Because some people, I don't know, I can't get into it. But yeah. Yeah.

It's all love. It is all love. It's all love. The fact that anybody cares whether you, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's pretty crazy. But they want me to do it. They're like, you better do it though. Eat that bacon. I'll get them too. Don't worry guys. I'd say to Benny, besides researching the top, just coming up with the topic, researching the topic, doing all the work, all the comments, all the emails. Yeah, I agree with you.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I've not done any of these things. This is all new to me. Someone replied, truer words have never been spoken. Oh, wow. To that comment? Yeah. Oh, my God. Was that me? Maybe my burner account.

All right, Aaron Brawner. All right. If a significant portion of your total compensation isn't in the form of bonuses or commissions, you are not a salesman. You simply work in sales. A little technicality there. Most of these products are established brands that the customer contractually has to carry in their stores.

Well, yeah, that's true. You're not necessarily selling it to the store. You're trying to get the customer to buy your product over the other product.

And there is, you know, there's not, well, there is bonuses. We did get bonuses, but not commissions. And I, yeah, I mean, I'm not out here. I mean, you know, I don't know the difference in working in sales and being a salesman. I didn't go door to door being like, you got a lot of weeds out here. But that's a big generational difference where 50 years ago, if you ask people what they do.

for a living, almost everyone would just say, I'm a blank. Oh yeah. And now it's, I'm in, or I'm involved with, it's like, yeah. It's interesting. Yeah. My official title was a seasonal merchandising coordinator. And then they restructured the company and I became known as a district manager. There you go. But the pay was still the same. Yeah. Cool.

So if you're a comedian or I'm in comedy. Yeah. You're going to go, I'm a comedian. Now it's I'm in comedy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like, but the sales part is like, you're trying to get the customer to buy it, but you're also trying to get the store to order more. So sure. The store already carries it, but I don't know if there's anybody going into a corporation going, Hey, uh,

I've been making some of my own pesticides back at the house. I was wondering if you could start stocking them here. You know what I mean? Come on, guy. And I'm with Aaron on this. Okay. What was Aaron's type? Well, I'm with Aaron Brawner on this. Oh, okay. I forgot. Aaron Brawner. Yeah.

Tyler Hodge, Balderdash Bates, has never been more on point with his family's love of Crossville, Tennessee and Mariner's Point. I'm from northeastern Pennsylvania, but I went to Crossville with my grandparents and brothers every summer as kids. It's truly paradise for pickleball, putt-putt, and most notably, Nate's favorite sport, golf.

Well, they didn't have pickleball when I went. I think that's a relatively new sport. Pickleball's been around two months. I would dominate if we did. They were just inventing pickles back then. A paradise for pickles. Did you play a lot of putt-putt there, Grona? We did play some putt-putt and some shuffleboard and stuff.

All the other old people stuff that you'd imagine. Domino's, bingo. Well, I don't think anybody was really making fun of, well, maybe we were making fun of Crossville a little bit. It was just funny that you live so close to Crossville and you have a, what do we call it last week? Timeshare. Timeshare. Yeah. Which I also did sell a little bit back in the day. Did you know that? No. Did you mention that when we talked about timeshares? Maybe I did. Did I? Yeah. Okay.

People sent me a clip of... Brian doesn't remember, so I don't... People sent me a clip of Parks and Recreation where, if you watch that show, Jerry... The old guy. Yeah. I mean, I guess he's the oldest one in the group. To me, he's a young, strapping lad. No, Jerry, he's like, that's his whole character is he's old, right?

Well, he's the loser, the butt of the jokes. Okay. He's the fat old guy. That guy's for sure old. But he looks like Newt Gingrich, dude. What are you talking about? Well, you don't think this is the old guy of the group? Yeah. I mean, I'm a bit older than you guys. I think I old guy like 80. That guy is not much older than I am.

How old is he? He is... Oh, I'm looking at... This is the characters page. Jim O'Hare. Sorry, who I didn't mean to insult the actor. I apologize. 61. He's 61 now, so that means on Parks and Rec he was my age.

He was probably in his late 40s when that show started. He was playing up at age. Yeah, yeah. They do that. Anyway, on the show, he talked about having a timeshare in Muncie, Indiana. And that show's set in Indiana, so they all laughed. It was the exact same situation as mine. Yeah, see, this guy, Tyler Hodge, is from Pennsylvania. So he's traveling a bit to get to Crossville. They're going down to Tennessee. Yeah, he's visiting his grandparents. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we loved it, and we summered there, and...

Back off. Well, just the fact that you got to go somewhere for the summer, though, is pretty impressive. I mean, we were not summering. No, I was joking about summering. Oh, okay. But we took one big vacation in my childhood. What was it? Went to Washington, D.C. Of course. Yeah. Of course. Education. See some museums. Yeah. The one big vacation. They're like, let's learn something. Yeah. And how old were you?

Maybe nine or 10. Not Disney World, not an amusement park. No. Washington, D.C. We did go to Visionland in Birmingham once. Oh, yeah. Pretty weak. Pretty weak park. I never even heard of it. I haven't either. That was like our Six Flags. Oh, okay. Really? We would go to Six Flags. Visionland, yeah. You had a Six Flags type place and you'd never even heard of it? We would go to Six Flags in Georgia. Okay. Atlanta, I think, was a bit closer to us than Birmingham. Okay. About an hour and 45 to Atlanta, two hours to Birmingham. Uh-huh. So-

And Six Flags was awesome. Opelika might be a good comedy city. You got either direction. There's a club in Opelika or in Auburn.

There is a club in Auburn. There is a club in Auburn. Crown of Comedy. Crown of Comedy, yeah. Yeah. It's an unfortunate location for Crown of Comedy. They bought a spot that used to be an old pool hall that I used to go to. And then later, a plasma donation place moved in next to them. I mean, they share a wall. Yeah. Like plasma donation makes every area look shady. It sure does. Yeah.

Yeah. And then catacorner to that is a discount mattress. Yeah. Lee County discount beds or something right there. Yeah. So it's like, it's unfortunate. It's kind of wedged in between. I mean, when it was a pool hall, it was a pretty hot place. Yeah. Pretty hot. It was sketchy, but it's pretty hopping. And that club still open? As far as I know. I think so. Yeah. I've been, I've been in a couple of years, but. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a good time. All right. All right. Matthew Howard. I really enjoy that the four of you found out that Dusty had a relative who was a literal nobility in England and the high sheriff of London. But you were more fascinated by what was going on with the people's ties and the picture of his grandfather. Best podcast ever. Keep up the good work.

Yeah, I mean, I actually want to know more about my nobility in London. I'd like to go back to London and try to see if I got some inheritance. How great would it be if you had royal blood in you? Yeah. A high sheriff, and you guys probably grew up not being fans of authority. Yeah, well, that's true. So something flipped there. Yeah. High sheriff of Opelika. Yeah. Much different.

I love it. Thank you, Matthew. You know what? My sister's last name was Howard. So maybe I'm related to this guy too. Lori Peacock.

Yeah, peacock. Yeah, it's got extra leather. Peacock, maybe? Peacock. Peacocky. You ever remember those peacoats? You remember those? Part of them, I can't remember what they are. You can't remember them. They're still around. A girl told me one time she had a peacoat, and her and her boyfriend broke up, and they were drinking, and he got real mad, and he peed on her coat, and it was a peacoat. Yeah.

Is that why you peed on it? I don't know. Did she wash it then? Is this the same girl? Not the same girl. Lori Peacock Coke. Thank you. You can't debate animal fights without knowing the St. Louis Zoo has to be in the top five. They probably...

House the winners. Sorry. Halfway through this, I got real confused. You can't debate animal fights without knowing the St. Louis Zoo has to be in the top five. They probably house the winners. Well, I agree. I mean, I love it, one, because it was free. It is free. But they have good animals there. It's not sad like the one you said you went to in Little Rock. We just got Komodo dragons in Nashville. Yeah. Did you see that? That's big time. Yeah. You got to go check them out.

See what they're all about. Yeah. I want to take my daughter to the zoo. I would like her to see it. We've been once. Yeah. And she was just a little too young to, and this is just a couple months ago, but to really like,

notice anything. Yeah. It'd be right in front of her. It'd be as close as you and she's looking over here. But just in that couple months time, she's changed and now she's, she's spotting deer and I mean, we have a zoo at our house. So we have squirrels and beavers and everything. I want to take my daughter before, you know, when she's old enough to be able to take it in, but not too old to have sympathy. You know what I mean? What's the sweet spot there? I think she's in it. I got to get there quick.

All right, Rebecca Ryan. This sales episode couldn't help but remind me of selling world's finest chocolate during my grade school years. Every year, the world's finest chocolate reps would come in and get a bunch of 9 to 12-year-olds

All pumped up on selling chocolate using the prize catalog as the incentive. I hated selling it and never did very well. I lived on the outskirts of what was already a rural town, so I had about four people on my sales list every year. This is exactly me.

Everything about it. We sold world's finest chocolate every year. I lived out in the country, very small school. She also said, I didn't, I couldn't put it all in there, but her other kids would take it, their parents work and they would sell it and stuff. And then mom did it every time for me dominate. But she said she never would do that. And, and,

I mean, I never, first of all, we're selling it for a dollar, a candy bar for a dollar in 1982 when candy bars like 20 cents or something. But it's the world's finest. That's why they had to call it that. The world's finest. I remember one time we went to Charlie Daniels Days in Mount Juliet. He would have like a, well, just that, a date on her Charlie Daniels. We walked around and I walked around trying to sell world's finest chocolate candy bar and it didn't go well.

But, okay. Well, you know, you got to use what you got, all the tools at hand if you're in sales. You know what I mean? If your mom can run it up to work, we never sold this, but I would sell other things. And she would always just get everybody at work to buy it. I always did well. Magazine subscriptions was big in our school. I think we were doing fruit.

We would get boxes of fruit. I remember us having boxes of grapefruit and oranges, and we would do chocolate, I think, but I don't know if it was the world's finest. It was pretty good. We had to return what we didn't sell. We never physically had it.

Oh, I thought you, I was picturing walking around with a box like this. We did. No, we never physically had it. Like they would order it and we would place the order for them and then it would come to them. I believe. We had the physical things. I'd be like, would you like to buy a candy bar? I thought you had to buy it first and then you have to, like you buy the box.

So you're telling me that Rebecca Ryan was sitting in class and some poacher of a chocolate salesman comes into these kid nine and 12 year olds and goes, buy all this chocolate for me. And then you go sell it. Yep. I don't like that. It's brilliant. I don't like that. It's respect. It's great for that sales. Respect the hustle. Yeah.

Those are dirtbag tactics. They are dirtbag tactics. You return what you don't sell, and so there's no buying ahead of time. But kids are sitting around with all this chocolate in them. I know. It's very tempting. So you're eating it up, and now your parents are like, ah, God. Well, that's true. Yeah. I don't like that. I'm with Rebecca here. Yeah. Zach, today was officially my last day at my current job. I hope you did a two-week notice.

I arrived a little early this morning and was just sitting in my car listening to the episode when Aaron told the etiquette etiquette story and I lost it. The mental image of him trying to be polite and accept that brutal advice sent me into a total laughing fit. Unfortunately, this happened while most of my soon-to-be former coworkers were showing up to start their workday.

Yeah, I mean, that was funny. I mean, it was hard to even contain it when Aaron was telling me while we were there. Yeah, yeah. And a cat. The lady was very nice. She was great, but that's the worst idea I've ever gotten in my life.

Let me hit you. She's selling world's finest chocolate here. Etta Cat. Huh? Huh? Jake Jesse or Gessie. I bet Jesse. Jake Jesse. He didn't want to be called JJ. They were like, do it with a G though. They didn't change his last name. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Am I crazy or does bread toast always sound like he's about to transition to an ad every time he says something lately? I mean, I can understand why you would say that. You're not crazy.

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In one easy online hub, Fabric was designed by parents for parents to help you get a high quality, surprisingly affordable term life insurance policy in less than 10 minutes. You could be offered coverage instantly with no health exam required. Protect your family today with Fabric by Gerber Life. So big makes the thousand miles per hour so unnoticeable. Uh,

For comparison, spin yourself at a rate of one degree every four minutes for 24 hours and you will have spun once completely. The earth is doing the exact same thing.

That's a good example. How do we – I wish that there was something else that was that big that spun 1,000 miles an hour that we can compare it to. Yeah. Because science is all about being able to recreate and do actual experiments. It'd be cool if there were eight other planets and a bunch of moons we could look at. Close enough that we could get to. Right, right. If we had devices that could see them from far away.

If we could, if we could, that would be very nice. That would be great. I don't really get the point of this comment. No, because if it's if the because if if I'm if I spin slow like that to spin once every 24 hours, then I'm not spinning fast.

So if the earth, it's like the heat index, right? When they're like, it's this hot, but it feels hotter. He's like, listen, it's spinning fast, but it doesn't feel that way because it's so big. But he says it's not spinning fast. But science tells us it's spinning a thousand miles per hour. Yeah, that's our perception. He said it's relative. So it's a thousand miles per hour is fast to us. It's not my perception. It's to some people's perception, a thousand miles per hour. But a thousand miles per hour is fast.

Not if you're as big as the earth. But how is that? That's what I'm saying, though. It's like fast is fast. It doesn't feel slower because you're big. But I think you guys would agree maybe. Look at me. Does it?

You don't think an ant thinks I'm a pretty fast walker, but I bet you guys don't think I'm a fast walker. Yeah, but you're walking, whatever the speed is you're walking is still the speed you're walking. Yeah, that's right. He says it's all relative to what you're talking about. But it's not real. It's like the speed is the speed no matter what. But whether you think it's fast or slow is your own opinion. There you go. That's right. Right. But the point is like we should be able to feel something going that fast.

Like if you're walking five miles per hour to the ant, the ant is like, wow, five miles per hour. That's really fast. I can't go that fast. Right. So, you know, so to that ant, you know, but it's, you're still going five miles per hour, no matter what. It's not, you know what I mean? Does that make sense? Not really. I don't, I don't understand what's happening. A thousand miles per hour is a thousand miles per hour. Yeah. Yeah. We're not arguing that. I'm back. I'm back on.

I guess we're just debating whether. I mean, it's not doing that. So it's easy. You know what I mean? It's just, it's just kind of hanging out. Not even hanging really, just resting. But let me ask you this. And I know it probably shouldn't even get off on this, but other planets in the solar system, do you think they're out there? Or do some people think they're out there? Some people do. Do some people think they're not? Yeah. Some people do think they're not. Yeah. Because you can see them through a telescope.

Well, have you pulled up images on the internet of people actually like zooming in on these planets and not the NASA images? I saw – I took a cosmology class in college, and I saw the planets through a telescope. Was it your own telescope?

I have a telescope and I can see Saturn. So when you zoom in on Saturn, it looks just like they show you on the- It sure does, man. You can see the rings. I zoomed in on Jupiter and you can see the red spot. But you saw it from a school telescope. So who knows what's going on with that? Mine's not powerful enough to- I can see it, but I can't zoom in on it. What's it look like when you see it? I can see the ring. It's very small. It's very faint, but I can see the ring. And I can see-

I can't prove their movies. I wish I had known we would talk about this. I would have brought some videos. I mean, now again, these are somebody else's videos. I don't know. But I've seen like zooming in on stars. I mean, it's wild. They're like changing all the time and it looks – it's so wild. It doesn't look at all like the sun. We're a lot closer to ours. Right, but I can't – but the sun's not doing this thing. It doesn't like change everything about it because it's closer.

I think we got a different view of it. Yeah, we would. Yeah. I mean, but I'd love, I wish I had known we were talking about this. I would have brought these next time. Me too. But I think planets are off camera. I'm going to show it to you. All right. Yeah. We'll talk about it when we stop rolling. We'll really get into it. Well, today we are talking about school. All right. It's back to school this week here. Did that go well? What? School? Well, the comments.

We did a good job. I think it's still picking up. I don't think we've really hit our stride yet. Okay. But I think within the next 10 minutes, it'll be like, I'll look around and be like, this is actually going pretty good. Okay. But we're done with the comments. Yes, we are. You're asking about the comments specifically, right? Yeah. Did they go well? Yeah, I think. I don't read them a lot. Oh, you just meant you're reading? Just all together. The flow. I thought you did a good job, man. Yeah. Appreciate that.

But today we're talking about school. It's back to school this week here in at least Nashville. And I think pretty much everywhere in the country, people go back to school in August. I think when I was in school, we would start after Labor Day. That was kind of the...

Yeah. Like maybe I think that's how it was for me too. It could have been like the Tuesday, like literally the day after Labor Day. I don't remember, but Laura was telling us about how now they're here considered year round schools. It's not that different, but they do start earlier.

because they have fall break and a spring break. We never had a fall break. We never had a fall break. Well, there's a lot of data to suggest that a better model would be to eliminate summer vacation altogether and just have year round school. I think I'd prefer that. And you just have in this and you have another like fall break, another like week break somewhere in there. But taking two months off some, you know, you don't retain a lot of what you learn.

There's a lot of data that says all the kids will be better off. What do you think about that?

I don't know. I think there's so much useless stuff that goes on in school anyway. I just think about the stuff. You think the lack of retention is good. Yeah. I mean, it's just like. We do need to get a little. Forget some of this. Well, it's like, I think we should like be learning really practical things. Like, so that when we get out of school, we know how to do stuff. Like people don't know how to pay bills. They don't know how to balance checkbooks. They don't know how to do their taxes. They don't. I think we should be learning all this stuff. I think you should know how to cook basic food for yourself. Yeah.

I mean, and then we come out very productive humans instead of being like, we just come out ready to go to college. We're like, let's get in debt. Now there are some classes in high school that do some of that. But they're electives that you can take. I think we should folk like it's like, you know, like calculus was a class that you could take and it's like-

we, you know, it's like, if you want to get into math later on, like get into it in college. Oh, I thought you meant like once you retire, no, it's like, take up a hobby. Yeah. It's like, I don't need calculus in, in high school. Like let's go algebra. Let's do algebra one. But here's, do you think the kid that wants to take calculus is also the kid that needs to take a class on how to button a shirt? I, well, but button shirt is, I mean, that's a stretch. If he doesn't know how to button a shirt, then the answer is yes. Uh,

But I don't, I think these are classes that people need to be taken where they learn. Like we took a sewing class. It was an elective. We took something, but you know, I know how to sew. You took sewing as an elective? Yeah. Well, I don't know. It was middle school. So it was a kind of a required thing. Really? So I know how to sew.

Well, the needle and thread, you know, I learned to use a sewing machine. I haven't done that in a long time, so I don't know if I could do it, but. That's pretty cool. Yeah. And I think, you know, auto. But can you do calculus? Not at, I don't even know what calculus is, to be honest with you. Yeah. I barely, let's go over like what, where we went. Like mine's pretty simple. I was first through eighth grade at the same school. It was the smallest school in the county. First through eight. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't go to kindergarten. Okay. First through eighth grade, that same school. And then I went from the smallest school in the county to the biggest school in the county in high school. And-

And so I was only at two schools before college. When you got to the big school, like, cause this happened to my mom too. Was that a real adjustment? Oh yeah. But it was great because I was with the same kids for eight years and there's just a few of us. Yeah. And then you get to high school and you're a freshman, you see the senior girls and you're like, they're like, they're women. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. And they seem so mature and, and,

Just put together. And yeah, it was a huge adjustment. It was so nice though, to be around other kids that you hadn't been around all the time though. Right. And doing stuff. There's a, I was hot. I mean, there's a, Whoa. I mean, that's probably, that's a good look though. I'm going to be honest. It is a good look. You got kind of the dusty sleigh glasses. Yeah. That's why you think it's a good look. Okay. I think it's a good look. I mean, you got a, what is that? Yeah. I mean, there's, yeah.

I like it. I'm into it. Is that a Lacoste shirt? It could be. It could be. That's a good call on that. I was third grade, maybe. I don't know. I mean, your hair looks good. You got a good head of hair, man. Yeah, yeah. I've had a haircut like that. I had a haircut like that most of my life. Is that kind of Alabama bangs? I would say like Alabama swoop. Yeah, Alabama swoop. Alabama swoop. Okay. So that's pretty much, I mean. Dang, that's a good look. Public schools? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Were there like, was there ever talk of, there were like Christian schools or private schools that you would have maybe gone to, or was it? There is one in Lebanon that, I mean, it's still there, but I don't ever remember any talk about it. I just don't think we could afford it. Yeah. So, and I mean, I know you went to private Christian school. I see advantages and disadvantages. I mean, I'm, I mean, my daughter now, you know, I'll be considering for her in a few years, word of center to school and,

There are some advantages to public school, but. What are the advantages? I feel like you're around a more diverse group of people. I may be wrong because I wasn't in private school, but I feel like you're. Diverse in what way? Well, in race and economics and just different, you know, just not everyone's maybe as similar as you. I may be wrong, but that's how I feel.

There's probably some truth to that. I think it depends a lot on the school. Like I got stabbed in eighth grade. Did you get stabbed? That's the kind of diversity. I got punched in the bathroom, busted my eye. And luckily you could do your own stitches after you got stabbed. Yeah, that's true. Because I learned. Yes, because I learned things. I had to go to a nurse and they had to do it. My locker got broken into a lot. I lost a lot of money. You know what I mean? Yeah.

How many schools did you go to growing up? Well, I was just talking about this the other day. It was weird for me because some schools were being built. In Opelika, I went to a school called Carver from kindergarten and first grade. And then that new school was being built.

So I went to another school called Brown while that one was being finished. And then I went, I was the first class at Southview primary. So I did second grade there. And then I did third grade at a school called Martin third, fourth, and fifth, which would later be called North side. And then I went to middle school, uh, Opelika middle school for six, seventh, eighth, and then high school OHS, uh,

9th, 10th, 11th, 12th. That's a lot. Yeah. Jumped around a lot. You're a military family. That's what I was about to say. All in the same town. So all these primary and elementary schools, we all came together in middle school. So it was similar to that. So you had friends that made all these jumps with you. Yes. Okay. So you had friends that you went from kindergarten all the way through high school. Absolutely. Matter of fact, the girl who told me that her boyfriend peed on her pee coat, we were in kindergarten together. Went all the way through school together. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

It's such a huge chunk of your life in the same room with another person. Yeah. Now she wasn't in every class with me, but we made the journey. Yeah. I mean, you were five when you started. Yeah. Her last name was, her name was Lindsay Savage. So Savage and Slay, we were always like, you know, when your last names are close, you're always like, kind of like in the same home room together and stuff like that. A lot of the S's. Yeah. You were taking an elective in junior high?

Yeah, I don't know if they were called electives, but they were like just – you'd have all your regular classes and then you had –

It's elective in that you decided whether you went to school that day or not. That is true. I did home ec. I did chorus, stuff like that. I did a little chorus thing. I just realized we were singing God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood in middle school. Oh, no, maybe elementary school. And I looked at the dates and that song was brand new at that time.

Wow. So, cause I was like, man, this song must be way older, but it was like brand new. I thought it came out after nine 11.

Had a resurgence. Had a bit of a resurgence. Yes, it did. I remember hearing it all over after that. Like, I met Lee Greenwood a couple of times, and it's like, you don't hear other Lee Greenwood songs. You don't need another song. Yeah. You've got the song. Yes. But I remember when that song came out, and I knew who Lee Greenwood was, because he had stuff. Right. He has a few albums, but it's like... I mean, when you got that song... Yeah. Career changes. Yeah. Now, we're all 10 years...

Well, you and I are 20 years apart, but we're 10 years different. So I graduated high school in 1990. Did you graduate in 2000? 2000, yeah. 2010. All right. I'm the class of the new millennium here. Me, you know? Yeah.

What does that mean? Well, first graduating class of 2000, you know, the year 2001 would be, well, that was the argument that 2001 people, but we were the first, we were the first class to not use 19, you know, the first 20, all the 2001 kids made that argument. We were the first. Cause you don't start with zero. You start with one. Yeah. And I get it, but those are the nerds. Yeah, exactly. You know what we mean? Exactly. I think I, my first grade year, I think was 1978, 79. Yeah.

That was a good year. It was a good year. There's a lot going on. Yeah, there was a lot happening back then. But so, oh, look here. Here we go. This is a St. Bede gray basketball team. Look how happy you are. I'm pretty excited, man. I'm excited to be playing hoops. And a few poinsettias in your back. Yeah, in front of a weird kind of mural of the Virgin Mary. How many schools did you go to, Aaron? I went to...

The same for, I went to Catholic school my entire life. Yeah. Kindergarten through college, which is pretty crazy. But I went to St. Bede K through six. And then the, it was a feeder school for Montgomery Catholic middle school. And then that fed right into Catholic high school. And then I moved in the middle of high school to Nashville. Was that hard? Yeah.

It was pretty hard. I've been going like you're talking about. I've been going to school with the same kids, kindergarten through 10th grade. Yeah. And those are all the people in my life. And then we all moved. Were you cool at the new school? Did you fit right in or was it hard? Like, obviously it was hard. We just asked you that question. You said, yes, it's hard. But I mean, in class. In class, was I cool? I don't know if I could be cool in class. I wasn't a class clown. I wasn't doing that. You didn't make a lot of jokes?

I think I was probably thinking funny stuff. I made a lot of jokes. You made a lot of jokes? Oh, yeah. Did you make a lot of jokes? Well, I wasn't the class clown. I would say...

stuff under my breath to my friends to make them laugh. But yeah, most comedians aren't the class clown. I had no concept for getting an education. I was like, I'm just here because they're making me come. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, did you ever have first day of school nerves or excitement? Yeah. Every time. I mean, yeah, there's always some nerves. Also always like, I don't want to go back to school. I'm enjoying the summer break. Oh, look at this. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. These are the St. B gold team. This is how I used to pose in every picture right here. Is it because football players would never smile? That's a good look for you. Thanks, dude. Just a frown. Almost a little bit of a flat top going on here. You're like, you almost had like a military cut that you let grow out. It's like the same hair I have right now. Yeah.

You know, I've always had that weird widow's pink. But it feels a little more flat-top-ish in this picture. Well, I think it's because just my mom was cutting my hair. Yeah. You know, because they didn't put a whole lot of thought into the...

the shape of it or anything. So what about that guy next to you? You still in contact with that? That's Wallace Harvey. Yeah. Yeah. I know Wallace really well, actually. So which, which tough picture of him, which kid did not start? There's six of you there. I don't. Oh, I wrote the bitch. I don't, not the girl. I don't know. That's, that's an interesting question. I don't remember a whole lot about this. I like that. You got to keep the ball though. Got it between my feet. You're a real star. Were you guys good?

I don't know. This does not look like a good basketball team. Your friend who's having the rough picture there, he's the best player. He looks like the best player on the team. What about this team? This is the team for the next year. All right. Well, that's a lot different. You guys have grown. Yeah, you look like you've aged a lot in one year here. I remember all these kids, man. What happened to the girl? The girl got kicked off? Yeah, we were trying to win some games. You need to get out of here.

How about that? Yeah. And your other buddy, Walter or whatever, he's off the team too. Wallace. Yeah. Well, he was a grade above me. So I think he's in a different league now that I moved up a year. So these are fun to look at. I hadn't looked at these pictures in a long time, but no, we were not a basketball school. Who's on the wall back there. That's Mary. Okay.

She's a mother of Jesus. And in the Catholic Church, they like her a lot. Gotcha. They do like her a lot. They love her. Yeah, they talk about her. I'm like, that's not even really a main character. And they really get into it. Well, she's a supporting actress. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Oscar. Oscar nom. I mean, she plays a big role.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Well, she's probably lead actress. If the Bible were a movie, she'd be nominated lead actress, I think. I'm watching. Ruth. They wrote a whole book after Ruth. They were trying to be nice. Got the woman in here. How about Ruth? Old men names. Let's go Ruth a bone. I'm watching. Who talks about Ruth?

I talk about her a lot. Yeah. Have you really? Well, my wife. Tell me one thing. Oh, that's your wife's name. Okay. Was she named after the book of Ruth? Yeah. Okay. All right. I'll stop talking about it. No, I mean, to your point, so her brothers are John and Stephen. There's a million male biblical names. It's not Stephen in the Bible.

Yeah. He's the first Christian martyr. Okay. And then for girls, you're like Mary. Yeah. And okay. I guess we'll go with Ruth. Yeah. We'll do that. Esther.

Mary Magdalene. That's still Mary. So I'm watching, uh, you guys know the show, the chosen. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. Yeah. I've heard you. I've heard you and Nate talk about it on the podcast. I just started it. So I didn't know anything about it. Um, he'd mentioned it on Rogan, I think. Oh, that's where he talked about it. Yeah. Yeah. I just started it and I had a hard time getting into it because they create, you know how it ends. Well, uh,

They create backstories for these biblical characters that aren't in the Bible. Artistic license? Yeah. So I had a hard time, you know. I won't watch it. Because of that? Just because I don't like any of that stuff when they create, you know, because they create what Jesus looks like. We're not supposed to do that. Would you watch a movie in the first person from Jesus' perspective? So you never see him. Oh, maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Like a body cam? That's interesting. Like if Jesus had body cam footage. We're coming in. Body cam footage of the crucifixion would be tough. So you didn't see The Passion of the Christ? No. Yeah, for the same reason? Well, I didn't see that one because they talk about the whole scene of what happens to Jesus. And I'm like, I don't want to see that. Yeah. That seems too brutal to me. I don't want to watch it. But you'll read about it.

Yeah. But God forbid somebody put it on film. Well, they're allowed to do it. I just don't want to see it. Okay. Like UFC, for instance, right? Like I'm glad it exists. People love it, but I don't want to watch people get beat up like that. Okay. I can't handle it. Yeah. That's fair.

Even fictional stuff, for the most part, it's okay. Actually, I like Quentin Tarantino the most because most of his movies, it seems so wild. And it's so over the top. That it seems fictional because it's like, Reservoir Dogs, I can't handle. But the others are so over the top that it's like, this is silly. But like Saving Private Ryan, like war movies. Yeah, too realistic, too, it's very painful. I hate it.

Well, anyway, The Chosen, I had some of the same issues because they're creating these stories of these people that take an artistic license. But now we're getting into the parts that are in the Bible. And so I'm starting to get on board with it. All right. Pretty good. Well, I hear nothing but good things. People love it. People are always telling me to watch it. And I know all the stories in the Bible. I've read them so many times. It's nice now to even do a pretend reading.

thinking about what they look like or putting some personality to the characters. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, sure. Now, to your point, Jesus does some stuff, like, that humanizes him so much. I'm like, I don't know. Would Jesus really hit his thumb hammering or whatever? Probably not. Oh, yeah, he would. He probably would, but it's just, it's hard to think of him that way. I don't think Jesus misses. He hits his thumb if he wants to. Yeah.

I don't know. That's fair. So there's some of that that's already going to – I don't even know how we got off to that. Oh, yeah, I asked you about the picture on the wall. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That spiral. But Mary Magdalene is a big role in the show. That's nice. So anyway. So what about going to school for the first time? Would you guys like – you had like a whole going to the – where would you go shop? Yeah, that's what I was about to ask. Oh, was it? Yeah. All right. Where would you go shop for your new clothes? Like what would you like to get?

Well, my older brother's dresser. Okay. That's where I got all my clothes from. What kind of stuff would he have? Well, we had school uniforms. Oh, okay. I always had school uniforms. That makes it easy. I actually like that.

Well, now it's all in Alabama. It's all the public schools have uniforms. Really? Most of them, at least in Montgomery County. I like a school uniform thing because I'm surprised. Well, I like to get wild with it. But yeah, when you're when you don't have a lot of money, like you end up feeling self-conscious about your clothes that you're wearing to school. That's a big part of the reasoning is that it just alienates kids from each other.

And it causes all kinds of problems. Yeah. It's like every Tommy Hilfiger was the, was the thing when I was growing up. Right. And it's like, I was never going to get Tommy Hilfiger. Right. And it's like, so you're all friend, but I'd be wearing like duck heads sometimes or bugle boy or, or, or,

you know, I, I, I really pleaded to not get close at Walmart. That was my thing. I was like, anything we'll go to Sears. We go to K-Mart. Well, not K-Mart, but we gotta, we gotta stay away from those, but you know, uh,

And so it was hard. So I ended up getting more creative with what I would wear, you know, and so I think it, you know, created some creativity, but. But it would have been nice to just wake up and put the same thing on. Absolutely. Every day. And knowing that your friends are all going to be wearing the same thing. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think it annoyed me. We'd have dress down days at school, you know, usually it was like a fundraiser. Like you bring $2 in and you get to dress down.

So the kids that got no money still wearing the uniform. Yeah. We still found ways to alienate the kids, you know? But looking back, it's like, I, I didn't mind the uniforms at all. They're probably a good thing. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I can see that. I don't think in elementary school, I was even thinking about like just whatever my mom bought. That's probably what I wore. But by high school, Lebanon, the options were pretty limited. Yeah.

And we had one clothing store that opened goodies. I remember goodies. And to us, that was high fashion. Yeah. So you'd buy a nice shirt from there and then go to school the next week or the first day of school. And there'd be three different guys wearing the same shirt. Oh, yeah. That's the problem.

Yeah. And you get some new clothes and it's like, well, there's still five days in a week. So you're like, you're trying to rotate them out. Well, I told a story on here before you joined us, Dusty, that my first day of my senior year in high school, I wore a new kids on the block.

A shirt to school because somehow I'd missed it. That's not cool. Was it a fresh one? I'd just been to their concert. Oh, no. So this is as fresh as you can get. Almost like a faded one. You could get away with being like, this is my sister's. I'm wearing it ironically. Aaron said that, I think, before. I said, once he realizes everybody's making fun of it, just go, yeah, isn't it hilarious that I'm wearing this? Yeah. That's all it would have taken. That's how cool I am. I should have done that, but I did not. Yeah, I had a couple. I had a Toby Keith shirt. Yeah.

I remember wearing it. I think I wore it like one time. Didn't feel it. Nobody was making fun of Toby Keith, but it just felt weird. What was the shirt? It was big dog or something. Dog. Oh yeah. There was a big dog. There was a, there was some other stuff. Um, but there was some like big dog, like if you can't hang with a big dog, stay on the porch. Yeah. It was stuff like that. I remember those shirts. Those were big dress down days. People coming with the big dog shirts on.

That was after my time. I remember. You want to know something weird? Okay. Well, that's why it's like any of those shirts I can think to bring up are all inappropriate. Okay.

Because you go down to Panama City and go to one of those beach stores and they had all the – I had a lot of shirts like that. I would get in trouble all the time about shirts. They're all like – Airbrush. Spencer's type stuff. Yeah, like – not airbrush, but like – I can't even describe some of the things that I had. I shouldn't have been wearing them. Something crass. Yeah. Yes, but nobody was monitoring what I was wearing. By the time I got to high school, I just was –

I was getting myself dressed and heading out. Even in earlier school, my mom worked third shift. Most of the time, I'd catch the bus before she even got home. So nobody knew what I was wearing. Did you guys ride the bus to school? I never did, no. Because your parents or your dad was driving you. Yeah, my parents worked at the school, or I had older siblings that would drive me. But in Alabama, I don't even think we had the option to take a bus.

for a private Catholic, small Catholic school. They don't have busing, you know, I rode the bus usually about half and half. I'd ride the bus to school. My mom would pick me up or, or the other way around.

I'd ride. She'd take me to school. I'd ride it home. How do you coordinate stuff like that back then? No cell phone. I guess you just, you know, they would give you just the, you know, my mom would just be like, I'm going to pick you up, you know, or, or I guess you might call the school and say, Hey, let Dusty know I'll be picking him up today or let Dusty know to ride the bus. Okay. But it's a lot of say, tell this to this person. Oh yeah. It's a lot of.

I don't remember. I think it was mostly just they tell you that morning and that's the plan. But do you remember there being a lot of problems caused by this lack of communication or were you even thinking about it at all? I don't think there was ever problems. Maybe one or two. I got banned for the bus for a little while one time for throwing pencils. But...

That didn't have anything to do with no cell phones. No, that was only like a week, too, and I got to come back. That was nice. I knew I wasn't malicious. I think school bus drivers have one of the most stressful jobs out there. Dealing with all those kids and driving this huge, gigantic vehicle. Yeah, and the kids aren't even wearing seatbelts. No, and they're just going crazy. No seatbelts at all. I threw up on the school bus one time. And there was that? There were three to a seat.

and i was middle and it hit the seat in front of us splatter went all over the other kids i remember the kid digging throw up out of the crease of his bag with a pencil being like you're gonna buy me a new bag and i'm like well i'm about to get off at a trailer park here so you just hold your breath there buddy you set that laptop up yeah yeah

uh what'd you throw up from just like general being a kid yeah i mean food was never good and who knows i mean the food at the school was always crap i mean it was yeah i was gonna ask you do you take your lunch or do you do cafeteria i do about half not half and half i take my lunch sometimes but um but it you know that's probably about 10 of the time i'd buy lunch i had a sack lunch most of the time do you ever have a lunch box

Never really a lunchbox. It was just a brown paper bag. I had a lunchbox as a kid. Do you remember what it was? They got a G.I. Joe and a He-Man. Those are my favorite two cartoons. I had Super Friends and Dukes of Hazzard. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. I would have beat y'all up in Illinois. What are you talking about? Those are cool. They were cool back then. I had a little G.I. Joe lunchbox with a little G.I. Joe thermos inside that sometimes you put soup in there. It's not cool to like stuff, dude.

Oh, we were okay. That might be a different generation. It's not cool to care, dude. Even as you got older, for sure. It wasn't. Yeah. I'm just kidding. For sure, though, when you got older, it was like you wear one strap of the backpack and you'd rather give yourself back problems than just wear it correctly. Yeah. Because it looks so cool to just carry one. Yeah.

Yeah. The movie 21 Jump Street. They had to talk about that. Very funny. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. But that was true. I mean, Hannah would talk about growing up in Canada, the cool thing was to not wear coats. Like if you were like cool, you would just be freezing to death. I think that's what it's going on now. Kids or at least boys will wear shorts to school when it's 10 degrees outside. I used to do that. I get that.

I would pride myself. No, I don't need a jacket, and I'm wearing shorts. I thought you had a school uniform. Flip-flops. I'm talking about just in general. Oh, yeah.

You know, so weekends. What about using the bathroom at school? Like, like number two, would you do it? I was, I never did it. I don't think I ever did it a single time. My whole career of high school. I don't think I did either. I would, I was so terrified. Dude in high school, you're looking for it. Yeah. I'll take, I'll go take a break. I'd rather check out of school. High school is like, Oh, like a job at an office. Yeah. I'm going to go use the bathroom. Are you playing a horse with no name? I never would do it.

I don't, I don't remember school. I bet I was too, too scared to do that. But high school, it's like, I'm running the show now. I don't care. Yeah. Let them, you know, let them in. I'm taking care of business. I was not for it. I like to be very discreet about my, we had a poop bandit at my high school. Ever talk about that? No. We had a guy who was van was vandalizing the bathrooms with,

Oh, gross. Yeah. Hence the name, the poop bandit. That's disgusting. You want to fess up right now? It's not me. And I don't know who it was, but it was a thing for a while. That's disgusting. I agree. Now, did you guys do recess or was that banned by the time you got in school? I did recess in primary school, but it was done by elementary school.

Primary was first kindergarten, first, second. I don't think we had it after that. I think middle school, we had a little breaks, but it wasn't called a recess. It was like a 15 minute break or something. K through six. We'd had legit play kickball.

dodgeball that we had pe and i guess that's probably what recess was for us we have when you're younger you have just like a general go out in the playground do whatever first second uh kindergarten first second we had that i don't remember it after that you don't think in third grade you had recess i don't think so wow i think it was pe that was so you didn't have recess you're learning how to sew did you go to school at a sweatshop that's what it feels sounds like it yeah it does sound like yeah

We had portables. So in a way, I did live in a trailer for a while. Guess what portables are? No. I had art in a portable. Basically, if they didn't have enough classrooms, they would bring in. Oh, it was like a trailer. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We had some poor. I took some classes. Yeah. Portables. I'd never heard him called that. Just come trailers. Just call. Yeah. Just trailer. I just call it art class. There's enough trailers around. We didn't think it was weird. We were complaining. Dusty's like, this is nice. Yeah. That's a good trailer. Honestly. It's a double wide. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you do a lot of after school activities? Just sports.

All the way through? Yeah, all the way through. I did some sports, but for the most part, I was heading on to the house. I didn't do a lot of activities. Did you do Campus Life or anything? I did Campus Life. Yeah. Matter of fact, I did. You know what? The Campus Life people from Orlando came to see me not long ago, and I've been wanting to wear that shirt in here. Campus Life was like a Christian kind of after school thing. And in high school, I was really into Campus Life. I loved it.

I became a leader at Camp Aside. Really? And then I started throwing a lot of parties and I got demoted from leader. Oh. They didn't kick me out of Camp Aside, but they were like, we really can't have you being a leader. You're going to throw a lot of parties. I go, well. This is in high school? Yeah. I love Camp Aside. Middle school. Yeah. Throwing ragers at the trailer. Seventh grade. Yeah. See, by high school, by 10th grade, we had moved out of the trailers.

And so 10th grade, I lived in a house just a mile in front of the school. So, you know, so I would walk to school a lot before I got a license. And-

It was great. It was so easy to invite people. I might just go down this road. Yeah. Last house on the right. You'll hear it. We're going to be partying. You'll hear it. Follow the music. I'm the campus life leader. Senior year was hot for me. I really made some waves by senior year. Really? Senior year of high school? Yeah. You kind of came into your own? Yeah, it was hot. Let your hair down. Yeah. You know? You're popular? Yeah, it was a hot year for me. I don't like to use the word popular, but I was cool. You know what I mean?

Popular seems more douchey. That was cool. People liked me. Yeah. You were a well-liked guy. Yeah. That's fair to say. Yeah. Yeah. What about you, Brian? Well-liked? Yeah. I mean, I think I was liked. Yeah. I wasn't popular.

But were there, when you think of high school, were there, like, that's the popular group or whatever? There was. And I can't say that I was in that group. Maybe I was in the minor leagues of that group. I knew some people in there. You were on that in the farm, you know? I do feel like my senior year was by far the most fun year because-

I mean, I guess that's true for most people, but there's something about when you're the oldest ones, you just have a different attitude. You have to wait four years to run this place. Ninth grade was really my worst year, I think, just in the way that I – and I don't think it had necessarily anything to do with changing schools to high school, but it was just like that's the year I felt the most insecure in my life. So it was a real turnaround for my senior year. Well, that's probably true for freshman years.

Maybe so. I mean, I wasn't getting picked on or anything. I just was like. Well, you're going through some changes personally at that time in life. Yeah. You know, there's a lot going on. There is a lot going on. I get that. Yeah. I don't know if ninth grade, I didn't peak in ninth grade either. I mean, the size difference, some of the kids. Yeah, it's men and kids. It's freshmen in high school that haven't hit puberty yet. And you're in the same locker room with grown men now.

Yeah. I remember there was a guy, I don't know if he was in 11th grade or 12th grade when I was in ninth grade named Rex story. And I remember seeing that guy and I was like, this is a grown man. Yeah. He's going to the school. He had a five o'clock shadow all the time. This guy's in school. Shaving between classes. Yeah. Who is this guy? Yeah.

I don't have a good segue here, but Dusty, why don't you tell us a little bit about ZocDoc? Oh, ZocDoc. If you throw up on the bus, you may need a doctor. That's true. That's true. All right. Callback and a segue. Thanks to ZocDoc, we can now find and book in-person or telemedicine appointments for medical or dental care. That is helpful for people that are on the go or work different hours like we do.

Have you ever been on the hunt for a new doctor and you asked literally everyone you know for their recommendation? No. They did exist. We had the pens that four, like four different colors. Oh, yeah. Oh, those were neat. Yeah. Purple, green. Yeah. Do you have the erasable pens? Those were so weak. Yeah, they were weak. I used to hate those erasable pens, dude. Yeah. They didn't write well. They didn't erase well. What are we doing? I got an erasable pen. You mean a pencil? Yeah. What about a trapper keeper?

I, you know what? I have a trapper keeper at home from middle school that I almost brought, but I thought, you know what? I bet people know what it looks like. I wish you had. What is it? I don't even know what you're talking about. A trapper. You don't know what a trapper keeper is? A trapper keeper. Yeah. Is it like a- You don't know either, Lorne?

I have a trapper keeper in perfect condition. I wish you'd have brought it. I should have brought it. I still don't know what it is. Well, it's a folder. It's like a three ring binder, but it folds. That's a mechanical pencil. It folds. And then it has another piece that comes over and Velcros on. And then it has other little pockets in it.

Had a lot of cool designs on it. None of those are. Doesn't open up like an accordion? No, no. One of those? No, it's just a three ring binder really with another piece that comes over. That one right there on the right with the football, that's a Trapper Keeper. This one right here? No, the one far right. Yeah. Yeah, Trapper Keeper. Okay. Yeah, that's it. Keeps all your stuff in there. I should have brought it. It's in such good condition.

What's inside of it? A three ring binder with other pockets. No, but what's inside yours? I had comic cards from when I was a kid. Oh, okay. Comic cards? That's what I thought you said too. Like Marvel comics. Oh, comic. Like a comedy club comic card. Still keep it on. I hated the feature. I have a lot of comic cards from when I worked at the restaurant that I love to keep. They were just not always about me, just funny ones.

I love those comment cards for, uh, at Hyman's. Yeah. Any mean about you?

Not really mean about me that I was able to get. Now, there could have been some that I didn't acquire. But yeah, I mean, there would be some mean about the restaurant or funny or nice about me that I liked. But yeah, I mean, a guy was giving me a real attitude one time when I was working there. And I see him pull the comment card out of the thing. So I take a pen out, click it, hand it to him. Oh, good. I was like, yeah. That's a power move. Get it, dude. I was like, get it. Fill it out. Wow. Yeah.

Ooh, a comic card. We had on our podcast,

pencils little i don't know what you call them little rubber things you put on the pencil to kind of grip it grip yeah you guys know what i'm talking about yeah oh yeah big time yeah those are really fun they're supposed to keep your hand from from cramping up but if you're left-handed i'd never use these triangular ones these look well that's what i was talking about that's probably the original i'm talking about they were just flush with the pencil by the time you had cylindrical by the time you'd come along they perfected it we had let's keep it from rolling off the desk

Oh, that's what it was for. I think it would play that role. Was that an eraser too? Could you use that as an eraser? I think there were some. You remember the little eraser that went over the top? Oh, big time. Yeah, those were fun. Those were a good time. Yeah. What about the mechanical pencil that you would twist and the lead would come out real far? Never saw that. You never saw that? It was a yellow one and it would twist at the end and then the lead would come out real far. I think I know what you're talking about. I think it was made by Mead.

Aaron, did you use pencils in school? Mechanical. Yeah, yeah. We ran the gamut. I read where I was doing the research. Oh, maybe that pencil mate. There it is. Yeah. Those. I know what you're talking about. The SAT is going all digital starting next year. Oh.

So no more No. 2 pencils needed. That's a huge blow for the No. 2 pencil industry because that's kind of the last time you needed to use one. They should have been prepping for this. Yeah. Should have been getting themselves prepared. How do they do it digitally now? Do you go in like a voting booth? You go in and take it? That's a good question. I don't know. I read that it's supposed to be more fair. It did seem like an ad rate. He goes, that's a good question. Well, I got to look at papers here.

It will provide devices to students who don't own their own computers. Some people don't. Okay, so you're just... Who attend schools without access to technology. Do it on a Chromebook in a classroom. I guess. It will now be shorter, moving from three hours to just two hours. And give students more time per question. You should be able to take the SAT and then just get your score back that night. Wow. Yeah. What do...

What was that reaction? I know. It sounded like I was thinking that's a hot take. Wow. Did you ever like cheat off people's papers or have other people cheat off your papers?

Like copy it, like in class when you'd be copying off them. I was in Spanish in 11th grade. I didn't want to take it. You had to take one foreign language. And my teacher was pregnant. And so halfway through the year, she left and we got a substitute. And this substitute, there was these two girls, Haley and Katie, and they would let me copy off. And they were very good at Spanish. They would let me copy their paper every day. The teacher knew it was happening. They would just straight up let me copy.

Nobody cared. Finals time came. The substitute wouldn't let me sit next to them. So the entire final was in Spanish.

I didn't know a single word. No bueno. I just went. I was the first one done. I just went. It was no point in even reading. You couldn't read the instructions. Yeah. I just went all the way through it. I failed that test so bad. I had like 100 in the class. Yeah. But I failed the final so bad. I almost failed the class. That's why the teacher let you do it. I know. They're like, you're shooting yourself in the foot. But she's, you know what I mean? That was really, I don't appreciate her method. Because it's like, come on.

And it's not become... It's not been a problem for me to not know it, to not know Spanish. But it would have been nice to know it, right? Yeah, but I bet Haley and Katie don't even know it. No. You know what I mean? Not from that class. If you were doing stand-up in Spanish right now, I think your career would be a lot different. Well, yeah, for sure. You would definitely sold out in Austin. For sure, yeah. You know? Yeah, I mean, yeah. Well, you're right. It could have played a role. You do one night in English, do the next night in Spanish. But who knows? What if I had to learn Spanish and...

end up, you know, going into a different field. I may be more successful in another area. You know what I mean? Who knows what road I would have went down. Maybe learning would have become something important to me. And I would have said, you know what? Actually learning a language has opened different parts of my mind. This earth is spinning so fast. I could be a scientist or something talking about planets. You would have gone to DC for vacation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm glad that Dusty doesn't exist. You'd be an astronomer. Yeah. That's the end of it. Dust and slay. Maybe I would have got so into languages, I would have been like, let's learn another one. And then another one. But you know what? My substitute teacher, she didn't know anything about Spanish. Right.

Right. Right. You know what I mean? Don't, don't be like, you got to learn, but you can't teach it. That's why she needs to babble. I was hoping that would be a sponsor. That would be great. Yeah. That would have been perfect. This episode. Do you guys ever have the dream that you can't remember your locker combination and have to get into it? It's a very common dream. Apparently never had it. I had a dream. I haven't had it in a couple of years now, but I used to have a recurring dream that I was in college and,

And it was the day of final exams. And I found out I was in a class that I had never been to. I was signed up for a class I didn't know about. And I had that dream. I mean, and then I'd wake up and be like, oh, did I graduate four years ago? Yeah. It's such a relief. Yeah. I don't know what that is in my brain, but I think that's a common. It is. I've had that too. God, isn't that bizarre? Yeah. What is that?

I don't know. I'd never have school dreams, but I will tell you something that happened. My mom brought up some middle school yearbooks to me and I had seen the high school yearbooks over the years. I had looked at those. The middle school yearbook, it felt like it opened parts of my brain, memories that had been shut down as I'm turning these pages and seeing this. And it shook me up for a couple of weeks. This is about a year ago. And I just was like,

Like it was just bringing back, like not necessarily bad memories, but just things I had completely forgotten. These weren't memories you've repressed. These are just stuff you forgot about throughout life. It just was like, cause I remember high school well, but I don't really think about middle school that often. Right. But it was just bringing that up. And I was like, this is weird. And I think I might've had a couple of dreams around that time. It shook me in a weird way.

I can see that. Just brings you back to memory lane. I went back to my elementary school a few years ago for some event and went into some of the same rooms, like the cafeteria. It seemed so big to me as a kid. And now it just seems so tiny. I couldn't believe it was the same room.

Yeah. Yeah, everything seems so much smaller, right? Yeah. There's a crazy scene in The Office where they go back to Pam's high school when they're doing that career event. Have you seen The Office? I've seen a lot of it. I've not seen this episode. She goes back to the art room thinking that a picture she drew when she was in high school would still be hanging up. Do you remember that part of it? She's like, I thought it might be hanging up.

35 at this point. I don't think she's supposed to be that old, but to your point, I think your terrible drawing is going to be hanging up here. Yeah. 17 years later. Yeah.

Well, that part always annoyed me. Well, that's what people always think, though, in a way. People always think like when they leave a job or they leave a school that, oh, they're going to remember me. And it's like when you work at a restaurant and you think the moment you leave, people are just like, can I get your shift? Yeah. We had kids. You have this. I don't know if this is common or if this is just a my school thing.

But we had kids who graduated the year before they would show up.

The next year and just come to class like the first, second day of school. Like, isn't that funny? We're here, but we graduated. Wow. In uniform. That's weird. It is weird. I remember thinking, God, these kids are nerds, dude. You're done with high school. Get out of here. It's not funny that you're here. Well, if you peak in high school, it is. I think it is hard to let it go.

But most of those kids gave it a chance. I'm assuming most of the kids at your school went to college afterwards. Yeah. So weren't they, shouldn't they have been at college somewhere? Well, I guess maybe it started early. Yeah. Yeah. That's my high school gave us the option. I remember my senior year, they gave us the option. Um, we voted as a senior class. Do you want to extend the school day by 15 minutes every day or not?

We start the school year a week early. So we started July 31st that year in July. Rather than just having extra 15 minutes each day. Yeah, we voted on that. I voted to start early too. I thought it's going to be tough for a week, but then every day...

The whole school year, I'd be thinking, gosh, I'd be out of here by now. This last 15 minutes is brutal. I think I would have done that too. Yeah. It's like, let's just get it over. Probably at the time, but I think I would go the extra 15. Every day though, dude. Give me that week off. Yeah. If it was on the back end, it would be more appealing.

Oh, that's true. Yeah. You end a little bit earlier. Yeah. I've said we can. What about now though? Let's say you're doing standup and they're like, all right, they're going to go. You come in on Thursday, do a show on Thursday or the Friday, the two shows on Friday, two shows on Saturday, you do an extra 15. Yeah.

each show, what would you do? I think that the show would suffer if I had to do it. The audience votes. They're like, you know what, do a Thursday. Yeah. How about do a Wednesday as well? Yeah. Do them all. That's a good question. I don't know. In college, our classes, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday were 50 minutes and Tuesday and Thursday were an hour 15. And I liked the Monday, Wednesday, Friday classes better, even though I went three times a week just because

Hour 15 felt so long. Yeah. I just wanted to get out of there. See, block scheduling came in while I was in school. So we were doing six classes a day, sometimes seven, for about an hour. And then after ninth grade, in 10th grade, we went to block scheduling where we did four classes a day, all about an hour and a half. Really? Yeah. An hour and a half class is tough, man. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you got to leave and go right to another one and start it. But it was great in the sense that like, you know, you'd have your, your two main classes, your two. And then, and then you do that half the year. And then the second half of the year, you'd switch to four other classes. Now, let me ask you a more extreme version of this. So my, my high school in Alabama, Catholic high school in the early nineties, I think they, they, the senior class voted to move to a four day school week.

So they went like eight to five Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Then they had Fridays off and they did that for one year. And then they all voted like, let's go back. Oh, wow. Yeah. Huh. That's a long day. That is a long day. It's a really long day to be in school.

And it's long for, it's long for the teachers. It's long for everybody. And if you play sports, then what do you do? Stay till seven? Yeah. Well, yeah, we used to probably stay that late anyway, but you'd say way later than you would. Yeah. You know, if you can't start practice till 545. Yeah. That's tough on everybody. Was it cool having your dad as the principal or was it not fun? Um, it was convenient sometimes.

I'd know things before other people, that kind of stuff. Do you think that's why you weren't class clown? Like what? Cause you're like, there's immediate consequences if I'm getting in trouble here. I think actually, if I'm being honest, it gave me a little more leeway with people. Cause the, the dynamic between me and the teachers was different. Cause your dad's their boss. Yeah. Essentially.

So that probably played into it. I don't know. It was just never that. There were always guys that were funnier than me, you know, that were like doing physical stuff and getting big laughs, you know, and I was never that guy, but I like snow days were, were big. Yeah. And so my, my school here in Hendersonville, Tennessee, we had maybe two snow days when I was there and it was a big deal to get a snow day. Sumner County public schools, uh,

If there's a cold breeze, they go, we're out for a week. Almost every public school in Tennessee. Yeah, they're like, oh, we can't do it. We were out all the time. And my dad would wake up at like 4 a.m. He would drive to the school to see the roads. He'd drive like back roads and be like, the roads are fine out here. And we'd be the only school in the county open all the time, dude.

Did parents like that or did they get mad? I don't know if the parents liked it. The kids weren't pumped about it. I'm sure. You know, so I would be getting- If the parents still have to go to work, they like it. That's probably true. But if the parents like, you know, my particular road is dangerous, whatever, you know. And your dad's like, well, I'll drive there and see. Really? I drove by your house last night. Everything's fine. Would that be an excuse absence if they said, hey, it's not safe?

I think so. Yeah. I think so. I love that your dad would make the drive. Oh, dude. My dad, when the Nashville flood happened, the big one. Come on in. Yeah. It's not over our neck. The JP2 in Hendersville, it was like a moat around it. Yeah. It was so flooded, and you could not get to it. We had to take our AP test that weekend.

And they're like, well, we're going to have to reschedule because the AP tests, the physical tests are in the building. And my dad got in a rope. My dad got in a boat and went to the school to get the tests and then took them back in a boat. And we took the test like off campus somewhere. Wow. Your dad was serious. He said, I'm not going to let us get behind on stuff just because of the weather, you know. I thought you were going to say he helicoptered in. I like that. I like the boat though. I like the idea of your dad's like rescuing the test. Yeah.

The tests are trapped. There's all kinds of animals in there getting drowned. You just got to grab these tests real quick. They're like, oh, Mr. Weber, you're here. He's like, I'm just here for the tests. I don't have enough room for you in the boat. Well, I don't have a good segue for this either, but tell us about Rocket Money. Well...

You know what's stressing me out? Probably what's stressing you out. Rising prices. Everything's more expensive these days. And you're looking for ways to cut costs. You're not crazy. You just need rocket money. You could be wasting money and not even realizing it. Look, this is half my income or half my expenditures are subscriptions that I've forgotten about. But not anymore because I use...

Rocket money. It's a personal finance app that works here. No. Smartboard. So is that like you operate from an iPad or it was like a TV that you could touch? It was. You gasp. It was still a projected image, but you could touch and control things by touching the screen. What about the thing, the little, it's like a.

Oh, I know what you're talking about. It had like a glass top with a light in it. And then that had a mirror and then it would project it and they would have little plastic. And even like you could roll the plastic sometimes. It was in that thing you had earlier. I forgot what it's called. I think it was called a projector maybe.

If you scroll down, it's on there. And they could write on it with a little dry erase markers and it would show up. I thought it's just what that read. Overhead projector. These right here. Overhead projector, yeah. We use these. Oh, yeah. That was big time. I used plenty of these. The overhead projector was big time. Yeah. You could write right on. If you had an erasable marker, you could write right on the glass. Really? Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, it was big time. I would never do that. I loved an overhead projector. Yeah.

But once you get a smart board. Smart board seems wild. These overheads are weak. Yeah.

Well, obviously they didn't have cell phones when I was in school. They weren't invented, but I bet it was pretty crazy. Maybe when you were in high school. Not for me either. Yeah. I mean, cell phone was probably invented, but it was not prevalent. No smartphones. Yeah. I didn't get a cell phone until my sophomore year of high school. I didn't have a smartphone until my sophomore year of college. Okay. So I had like a dumb cell phone. Yeah. Through high school. Yeah. Yeah.

Still a bit of an issue with people texting. I didn't have texting in high school. Maybe I did towards the end, but it was not that big of an issue. It's probably insane right now. Oh, yeah. You're doing everything on your phone. I think they got to a point where they're like, they can't even tell you to put your phones away. They're like, we just got to figure out how to teach you. They should do what Zanies does and have the Yonder bags. Yonder bags. Schools are actually Yonder's, some of their biggest clients. Oh, yeah.

That's what they should have. You lock your phone up in a little pouch at the beginning of the day, and then at the end of the day, they open it for you. Yeah. That's the way they should do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and I want to say I invited Harper Bargatze to come on to tell us about what school is like today. She declined the offer. Tough to get a Bargatze on here. It is. I asked Laura. I asked Laura. Laura said no as well. So I got to talk to you guys. They moved out of here. They're not even here. We don't even know what's going on. We just show up. But the – yeah, I mean –

Do you have a pencil sharpener like that? Oh, dude. I love the pencil sharpener. This was an excuse to get out of your chair. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. If you sat on the other side of the room, can I sharpen my pencil? You can walk around, see what's going on. And there's nothing like a freshly sharpened pencil. Oh, that's great. Especially from one of those bad boys. Yeah. Yeah.

The electric ones never worked. It wasn't as good. It wasn't as satisfying, you know? Yeah. Just to really feel it. I have one of these in my house. Oh, yeah. Just randomly just on a wall. I haven't used it. You have it now. Yeah. Oh, right now. Okay. My grandmother had one growing up. So maybe that's just a thing. How old is your house? Like old?

50s and 60s, I think. Maybe, yeah, they just came with pencil sharpeners back then. People were writing stuff down. You were using number two pencils all the time. Got a sharpener. Yeah. Wow, what an industry number two pencils used to be. What a fall from grace. Yeah. They ran the country back in the day. Yeah, what happened to number one? What about Pencil Break? Did you ever play that? Number two pencils where you're breaking each other's pencils? No. Oh, we used to play that a lot where you hold a pencil. That's why you got stabbed before? No, I got stabbed for...

We don't have to get into it. It wasn't a game. It wasn't a game. Yeah, not getting stabbed. That was never a game. But pencil break was, you know, you could, you know, you snap and then also thump. Did you play that? Where you'd hold your knuckles out like that and you'd thump each other's knuckles? You ever do that? I don't know what you're doing. Isn't that cool? You don't see that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, like a little tracer?

It's like flimsy. It's an optical illusion. It looks like it's bending and flexible. See that? Oh, yeah. That's a solid physics. What about pencils on the nose? Would you do that? I like to put pencils in the nose and then I can hold a pencil with my chin. This is not a pencil. I can't do this. It's also been a long time since I've done it. And then you do this. Mustache.

Before I had a real mustache. For the record, Nate's back next week, folks. This is the good stuff. This is what I've been waiting for. This is what I'm talking about. This is what school's really all about. This is what we were doing in school. What about football? Like with the little paper. Oh, yeah. Paper football is huge. Paper airplanes. Paper planes.

I remember. Do you have nap time in kindergarten? Oh, yeah. We play paper football during nap time. We'd have a towel. You brought a towel to use as like your blanket. Yeah. Like a bath towel. Yeah, I remember that. And we played paper football. What did you sleep on, though? On the floor. I never slept during nap time. But I think you're supposed to just sleep on the towel. We had a little mat that we would bring. I guess you could bring a mat. I think I did have a mat. That's fancy, dude. I did have a little mat, actually. We had bath towels. This is the late 70s. Yeah, I know.

Not in kindergarten. I didn't go to kindergarten, but first grade. To me, this is the stuff. On the bus, it was pencil break. It was thump. You didn't do that, though? You hold your knuckles out like that and you try to thump it real hard. Oh, we would do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But pencils weren't involved. No pencil. It was two. There's two different games. Thump and pencil break. Yeah. We would play this game. Oh, yeah. Remember that game where if you look at it below the waist, you punch them on the... I used to come home from middle school just...

huge bruises all over my arm. My mom's like, what are you doing all day? I'm like, you know, I'm respecting the game. You have a joke about senior prank. And when I was in Fairhope,

This past weekend, somebody had poured laundry detergent in the water fountain, and it was bubbling out everywhere. Oh, that's... Yeah. That probably cost a lot to fix. That probably caused some real problems. My buddy said that on his Nextdoor app, people were not happy. Yeah, dude. I hate that. Laundry detergent in the water system of the high school? No, it wasn't. This was just like the city fountain, like there in Fairhope.

Oh, like a decorative fountain. Yeah. I'm sorry, not the water fountain. I thought you meant like the water system of the high school where like the water fountain. Like everybody's eating Tide Pods. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like a decorative... Oh, okay. I kind of like that a little more. I thought y'all were taking it hard. I don't like it, but I don't like vandalism. But I was also in an Airbnb this weekend and...

It was clear they had used- Last week you talked about vandalizing stores the whole time. Well, I'm vandalizing a competition that's- That's different. That's an evil corporation.

You know what I mean? Not the city's water supply. Well, yeah. I don't think the decorative fountains tied into the drinking water. That's where they get it. That's where they get it. It's all the wishing well pennies are down there too. Yeah. That's where they get it. Copper is good for you. Yeah. All this water tastes weird. Yeah. But I was in an Airbnb and clearly they had used too much fabric softener. And I woke up in the night and all I could smell was, I couldn't even sleep. I felt like I was just breathing in poison.

dude i had a guy on the plane this morning smelled so bad smelled so bad worst i've ever smelled a person sat it was that seat in southwest where there's no chair in front of me yeah and then so the row right in front that guy smelled so he sat down joe kelly's with me he texts me he goes this dude stinks

And then I caught a whiff of him. I was like, oh, my God, it was that bad. And he kept sticking his arm out to touch the like the window thing up and down. And every time he did that, I was sleeping and it kept waking me up. Like, oh, he's reaching over you. No, just reaching to the side. Just making a movement. There's no chair in front of me. So I'm catching all the backdraft from this dude.

And he had like greased up, oiled hair. He spent some time on his hair, but he hadn't taken a shower in probably a week. Wow. I mean, it was my whole flight was this guy stuck. It's awful. Yeah.

I was at the airport. I never, I forgot all about this until you talk about this, but this guy, I was sitting looking at the airline that was taking off. Yeah. And this guy was facing me. He had big headphones on. He was so hung over. He was making like these groaning, moaning noises, very loud in the airport. Like he was just in horrific pain. Just, he kept doing it. I don't know if he could even hear how loud he was being. Cause he had the headphones on. Yeah. And his flight was,

boarded and shut the door while he's just, and then he finally gets up and looks around and sees what's happening. He starts losing his mind at the counter. He's like, I'm right here. I've been right here the whole time. As I do, you got to take those headphones off. I know. Yeah. You got to exist in the world. Yeah. Yeah. He missed his flight sitting right there, obviously in a lot of hungover pain.

And I'm like, oh, dude, you messed up. And it was so satisfying to me for some reason. You were glad it happened. Yeah. Oh.

Oh, good stuff. Well, we're at two hours, so it's probably a good time to stop. Well, this is great. I appreciate this. I hope this was fun because you guys were making fun of me when I started talking about pencils and stuff. But to me, that's what I was talking about. That's when I was the most engaged, and Brian shot it down real quick. But this weekend, I'm going to be in Kansas City at the Kansas City Improv. I go there every year. I'm pumped to come back. I love Kansas City, so please come see the shows. Going to get some barbecue back on meat?

Yeah. Oh, I had a lot of barbecue this weekend, but I probably will again. Some burn-ins. Actually, you know what? Last time I was in Kansas City, I ate at an Indian restaurant, and that was so good. I'll get it. A little hole in the wall Indian restaurant was the best. Big time. I'll probably go there.

Uh, say August 27th. I'm in Irwin, Pennsylvania. That's right outside Pittsburgh. I'm at community church. It's open to the public. So anybody can come. Nice. Uh, September 2nd, um, skyline comedy club in Appleton, Wisconsin, two shows and September 9th, uh, North Charleston, South Carolina. All right. Comedy at the Sparrow. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Sparrow a few times. I've never been. Who runs that show?

I think his last name is Bates, actually. Oh, Josh Bates. Yeah, Josh Bates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bates Unite. Yeah. I'm there in December, so let me know how that is. All right.

I've heard nothing but good things. All right. I am in a city. I always loved and never said anything bad about. I'm in Louisville, Kentucky. All right. The Oakland A's. I don't even remember what you're talking about. I'm in lovely Louisville at Laugh Louisville Comedy Club, which is a new club. We've always said that's one of our favorite cities. Talk about it ad nauseum. Yes. Uh,

I'll be at Laugh Louisville all weekend. Next weekend, I'm in Cleveland at Hilarities. All right. I love Hilarities. I'm knocking off all these clubs that I've heard nothing about since I started. They're the best. It's very exciting. Hilarities is one of my favorites. So come on out. Louisville, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Boston, Cape Cod.

I'm supposed to wrap this up, right? Yeah. That would have been a great time to put a button on it, Brian. You know, it's not as easy as it looks. You're right. You're right. I made fun of you earlier. Now, two hours later, you all, this is not lost on us. Let's see. We're having a good time. Again. I love you all. This, none of this is lost on me. None of it because come on shows. You're just the nicest fans. And thank you so much.

Nate is back next week. So last time we did two shows, two podcasts, the first one, man, like this is great. And by week two, they're like, no, when's Nate back? Yeah. So Nate's back next week. Don't worry. And he'll have a lot of stories to tell. I'm sure an Australian accent. Yeah. He comes back. Yeah, he might. He might. So thanks everybody for listening and we're having a good time.

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.