Hour 2: Russian Barber Roulette On Bird Road
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This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stukas Podcast.

Do we have anybody back there who says lever instead of lever? Do we have any levers instead of levers? Fat lever. I'm a lever guy. That's the only example I have. Fat lever. Okay, so none of you are lever. Fat lever. All right, which do you say? I wasn't talking to you yet, Sirota. I was introducing you. He was weighing in. He was weighing in. I understand, but I haven't introduced him. You asked a question. I know I asked a question of the group, though, but I haven't told the audience who the hell's with us. So they just heard a stray voice and they've had enough

of those around here still got every once in a while a new voice appears and they don't know who it is and they really don't like it so when Sirota makes an appearance and he's doing real credible journalism at a time it is more endangered it feels like than it's been at any point in my lifetime I would tell everyone listening

that he's doing the hardest of work right now, a nonpartisan investigative news site that does an exceptional job of actually holding the powerful to account. He's also got a book that you can get at levernews.com, the handbook for the politically deceased, which I am, uh,

in the middle of reading. Thank you for joining us, David Sirota. Can you tell me though, as you watch everything that's happening in America right now, can you just run us through quickly as someone who is very fact-based, how many American systems you see right now that are failing because of the unprecedented corruption?

I would flip it around and say how many systems are actually succeeding despite the corruption? I think there's very few of them that are actually succeeding right now.

I think, look, I think no matter where you look, corruption is part of the problem bearing down on us in our daily lives. I think take a look at think about an issue that wasn't even discussed in the election. Health care. I think we are most people listening, including journalists.

basically everybody who's not a zillionaire is one or two medical emergencies away from potentially having a serious financial problem, whether or not you have health insurance. And the health care lobby has made sure that that wasn't even part of the conversation. We didn't even talk about it in the election. So I think when we talk about corruption, corruption,

There's cash-in-envelope corruption, like, "I have a lot of money, I'm gonna buy this congressman's vote." And then there's the corruption that's the money in the system is so endemic, it's so big, that the politicians and the political system doesn't even really talk about these issues.

And I think that's where you can really see the corruption. I mean, think about the housing crisis. Think about the basic affordability crisis. If it's talked about at all, it's often portrayed as, oh, you know, workers are being paid too much. It's not really talked about as corporations are ripping us off. It's not talked about that way in our politics because corporations are the ones who own lots of the media and own lots of the politicians who decide what the

parameters of the conversation are. If we're not talking about something in our politics, if it's not a central issue in our politics, even if it's a central issue in our daily lives, that's a product

a of a system of legalized corruption that buys the entire conversation in terms of American systems failing because you're doing a very good job of covering this and media is one of the entities I think that is failing you find which Scariest and which most appalling if it's a different answer. Yeah, that's a great question. I

Look, I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I go back first and foremost to health care. I mean, health care premiums continue to go up. The unaffordability of health care, even if you are paying those premiums, continues to go up. And by the way, health care outcomes continue to be problematic. I mean, Americans' average lifespan is

chronic disease, etc., etc. So to me, this is the central problem that we all face if you're a human being. And our health care system is failing in an epic way. And our political system's refusal to really talk about it or deal with it is a big one. Now, I should mention,

I worked on the movie with our mutual friend Adam McKay, Don't Look Up, which was a metaphor in part for climate change. The fact that we know what we need to do to deal with climate change, and we're not actually doing that.

We know that we can address this issue through investments in green energy, through reducing our use of fossil fuels. We don't need a magic wand to come up with some amazing technology to do this. The fact that we know we can do it and we're not doing it, knowing what scientists are telling us are the consequences, to me, I mean, that's...

terrifying on kind of like an existential level. There's the terrifying, I may not survive a healthcare system where I can't afford medical care. And then there's the, I'm not sure the human population is going to survive because our system is so corrupt, we're not doing what we need to do to reduce our use of fossil fuels. So those are the two I think I would put out there. We're all gonna die. Oh boy.

Can you tell me, David, what you make of the present ransacking of the government? Is Trump trying to break everything?

That's a great question. I don't know. It's hard for me to speculate on what Donald Trump's motive is. I would say this. Clearly, the people he is picking for his cabinet are people who I mean, in some ways you could you could look at them as looters. I mean, look at who was just picked to run Trump.

the Medicare system. It kind of boggles the mind. And we did a big story about Dr. Oz a few years ago when he was running for the Senate. And it's important to remember, he ran on privatizing Medicare. He ran on that. He was a paid spokesman for Medicare privatization schemes, the Medicare Advantage, which is a privatization scheme.

Donald Trump, and I should mention Dr. Oz, invests in a big way in the health care sector that will benefit from privatizing Medicare. Donald Trump could have picked anybody to run Medicare. He picked that guy.

And that's emblematic of the picks that he's making. So I guess one way you could look at it is Donald Trump is picking people to deliberately destroy the last institutions that are still standing in the government. Another way to look at it

is that Donald Trump is picking those people because he thinks that destroying those institutions is a way to build new and better institutions. I mean, I guess that's kind of an optimistic way to look at it. I don't really look at it like that. I look at it as there's not necessarily any method to the madness other than

tear everything down and we could go through you know the the guy who he nominated for department of the interior is very close to the oil industry and that's the job that deals with whether people whether the oil industry can drill on public lands i mean you can go through the lists it is a list of people like that where the conflicts of interest are so absurd it almost feels like a political cartoon and i think your question is right i i it's hard to determine what the

what the actual motive is other than a lack of care or a deliberate desire to burn everything down.

Linda McMahon, as head of education, made me think that when they're throwing it back to the states on schools, that they want everybody a little bit dumber because, and this is just empirical, the uneducated vote for that party. That's an empirical fact. I'm not having an opinion there that's calling anyone dumb. The less educated you are, the more likely you are to support what's going on right now. Yeah, I mean, the other way to look at it is that

If education is not a big priority among the Republican voters, the Republican electorate, who Donald Trump perceives to be his coalition, that's the kind of move that you would make. I mean, I think Donald Trump, clearly he ran a campaign.

and we we can talk about how his behavior and what you how he ran on on immigration in the light but i think the central thrust of his campaign was actually what the democrats used to run on in this way which was it's the economy stupid i think donald trump benefited from the fact that people were understandably and are understandably pissed off about uh...

how hard it is to afford anything in the United States. But I think it's worth also mentioning here that I think the Democrats ran a really bad campaign. Let's just throw that out there right now. They ran a bad campaign. They did not try to reach out in a real way to the working class. They did not tell a story about the corporate

villains that are actually making people's lives worse donald trump told a villain story about people who aren't villains you know immigrants uh... democrats liberals academics right at but he at least told a villain story but i think the point is is that we are now at the end of the scene the four out of the last five elections

It's the economy's stupid elections. Think about it. The 2008 financial crisis, Obama wins on that message. 2016, after 10 million people have been foreclosed on, people are pissed off about the growing affordability crisis in the aftermath of the financial crisis. That's in it's the economy's stupid election. 2020, people are obviously pissed off about the pandemic crisis.

but depression that's at a setter another election like that and then twenty twenty four my point is that people keep voting for change and by the way the only reason i think it skipped in twenty twelve was because the republicans basically nominated gordon gecko as their nominee mit romney looks at me if you wanted to come up with a political cartoon of a of a greedy wall street guy that would be your guy i think obama got lucky but i think my point is

We're in an environment where the population continues to vote aggressively for change and Donald Trump benefited from that. But I'm not sure it means that there's this paradigm shift

unless the Democrats simply throw up their hands and say, you know what? All of Donald Trump's voters are deplorables. We can never reach them and we should just ignore them and insult them. I think that's wrong. I think it's immoral. I think it's a bad political strategy, but I think the Democratic Party has to say, listen, we can reach those voters,

But we have to tell a real story about what's going on in the economy. They keep talking about here's what we can do to fix this or that, but they don't tell a story about, for instance, we go back to health care. You rarely ever hear the Democrats talk about the health care corporations are the problem. The insurance companies are the problem in the health care system. The Democrats don't want to do that because they don't want to piss off their health care industry donors.

The problem for that party is they're caught between voters who want things and donors who they want money from. And so the party often sounds completely incoherent and talks only about a very small set of issues. And the party does not name the actual villains that we all know are bearing down on us. I want the people to hear from me again on this, Stugatz, because journalism is very much under threat. And the...

even the credible newspapers are scared of Donald Trump when they have billionaire owners like Bezos. So what this man does at the lever, a nonpartisan investigative news site that's just going to basically, they're doing very difficult work, very thorough work, and they're

They're growing, at least in part, because most people don't trust the media right now. And this is a nonpartisan, fact-based thing that he is doing that people should support if they're interested in accurate information and journalism. They are seeking out the truth. And I'm wondering, Dave, has the pursuit, the seeking, the pursuit of the truth, has that become exhausting? Because it seems like no one cares about the truth anymore.

I'm so glad you asked this question because yes, it really is exhausting and I will be honest with you There are days that I wake up and I'm like I don't even want to get out of bed because like what does it even matter like I just you see this this this poster right here from our movie Don't look up that was the

The mini-joke was that the asteroid's headed towards Earth and the population is so distracted that it doesn't actually care about the asteroid headed towards Earth. In fact, there's going to be a mini-movie in the movie where they're going to do an asteroid headed towards Earth movie release on the day that the comet actually hits the Earth.

So that's a long way of saying some days I feel like that, where it's like, why are we actually reporting the truth if nobody actually cares about the actual truth? And look, I end up getting up every day and doing the work because ultimately you have to...

You got two choices. You can walk into the ocean and say, forget it. Nothing's worth it. It's all pointless. Or you can say, listen, if you keep putting the truth out there, verifiable facts, and we write our articles, you don't have to trust us. You can click the links to see the source material to see whether we're right or wrong, right?

You have to believe that at some baseline level that the truth still does matter. I mean, we certainly know, I should mention, we certainly know that reality matters and

And what I mean by that is climate change is happening, for example, whether we want to admit that it's happening or not. Climate change is human caused, whether people want to admit that or not. That's true. The science, what's actually happening in the world, doesn't care about whether we care about the truth. It's going to happen. So I guess the point of doing this work is

is to try to make the truth actually matter, to try to make reality actually matter, even if we can distract ourselves from it. But look, I hear you, right? There's some days where I wake up and I'm like, shit, I don't even want to read the truth. The truth is sometimes so crushing, I want to look away. But we can't look away. We're all gonna die. Jesus.

David, there's another option. You just watch football. Relax a little. Well, I watch the Nuggets. I watch the Nuggets. And by the way, that's an up and down experience. I'm like, sometimes I think they're amazing. Other times they're pissing me off. Like Jamal Murray has got to get with the program. Like seriously. Wow.

Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Levitard Show. Does Jamal Murray need to get with the program? I mean, seriously. He needs to get his shit together. I love him, but he needs to get his shit together. That escalated. This explains why he was so interested in Fat Lever before. Stugatz, by the way, just gave me in my ear such phony, such insincere sorrow. He's like, poor Sirota, still out here fighting. I mean, this guy is waking up every day fighting the good fight. No one cares. It's the good fight, but he keeps losing it.

You know what? I take inspiration from Jokic. He like gets there. He doesn't make a big deal out of it. He just pounds away at it. Not that I'm a journalist at the level of what Jokic is as a basketball player, but I seriously am like deeply connected to the Nuggets in a way that's unhealthy and I'm proud of it.

Okay, but you should know there's another option beyond football and the, you know, walking out into the ocean. You could just sit there, fight for the truth, and the ocean soon enough will come to you. That's true. Although I'm in Colorado.

It's coming there, too. Wait a minute. You think there's going to be land on this planet that's not going to be covered by water? That's funny, Sirota. That's true. Yeah, that is a truth that makes you want to not get up in the morning. See you later, Sirota. Thank you for all the bleep. Thanks, guys. Have a good day. Thank you for all the gloom. We're all from the time.

Season's greetings, podcast audience. It's Mike Ryan. And now is that time of year where you start hosting your family gatherings, be it Thanksgiving, be it the upcoming holiday season. You're going to have some folks in town. You're going to be doing some entertaining. So why don't you make your family time a Miller time? It's the first thing that I roll out when I got guests over at the house, an ice cold bucket filled with that beautiful white can. See, Miller time makes family time all the more special because for one thing,

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We'll be right back.

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Don Levitard. In terms of Heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now. What's the pivot? How irrational? Stugatz. How am I irrational? Did you not hear your voice there? It's going to be tough to hear my voice, dude. Your voice. If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give it. Entire premise. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

This episode of the Dan Levitard Show with Stu Gatz is presented by Smirnoff. We do game days. Please drink responsibly. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day. Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day. Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day. Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day.

So it's time to celebrate Nikola Jokic because headed into yesterday, and this is a two-parter, the best offensive rating in a single season in NBA history was 123.2. The Nuggets with Nikola Jokic on the floor this season

have a 125.8 offensive rating. But even better, the worst offensive rating in NBA history is 92.2. And without Nikola Jokic on the floor, the Nuggets had an 86.3.

offensive rating. So without him, the worst offense of all time. With him, the best offense of all time. Well, I was scared earlier this month to just make the proclamation that this is the best basketball player ever. That statistically, empirically, it's going to be hard to

argue that anyone has played basketball more productively than this man has but let's uh let's go out to mike malone here on the yokich minutes because again he's noticed this he notices that he's a bad coach when yokich isn't in the game and they're bad at offense and he's bad at coaching offense when he's not in the game and then he's the best coach ever at offense when yokich is in the game uh it's michael malone that's a fine he does not like to be called mike

I don't believe that's a fine. I don't believe I should be fined for calling Michael Malone Mike because he doesn't like it. He's got to win more championships than the one that he's got for me to make it Michael official. You just made Jokic the best player in NBA history. He's won one. He's underachieved with Jokic. I love that.

He's got the best player I've ever seen. Why is he only won one? Wow. Stugatz is rubbing up on you. It took 20 years. Let's listen to Michael Malone when he is asked about playing Jokic so many minutes. To apologize to Nicole when you have to play him so many minutes for such a stretch of games. No, man. You see his paycheck? You see his paycheck? I mean, come on, man.

Let's also listen to Jokic here. I love this sound. I quoted this sound before, but I didn't play this sound, of him trying to remember the last time he had a bad game and then the correction that arrives when he thinks he had a bad game. Have you had any bad nights this year? I think we played second game and we lost. Clippers here, 4-1. Oh, no. No.

When was my bad game? What was that second game we lost? You had 41. Oh, no, can't think of one. Was he actively trying to look like Gru from the Minions for a good amount of time? Because he looked exactly like him there. He did do that during the playoffs last year as part of the marketing campaign. He's keeping it going. They let him keep the wardrobe.

I wanted to ask Amin and Izzy, now that I've got them here, because we have not talked about this at all. I know they've talked about it on Oddball, and I imagine they'll talk about it on Basketball Illuminati. The Cavs start the season 15-0. If you do that, you're generally playing for the championship. In the history of the sport, if you're good enough to win 15 games to start a season, we'll see you later in the season, and you're going to be playing the latest games.

I badly wanted to see Jokic against the Celtics. I wanted the Celtics to have to beat somebody that had championship pedigree. The best ever? I mean, I just wanted to see them have to dethrone somebody versus just sitting there and waiting for injured teams to come their way. But the thing that I wanted to ask Izzy and Amin is...

I've liked Mobley since he got into the league. And so you've got in Alan Garland and Mobley, you've got a really strong three and then Donovan Mitchell on top of that. That's a strong four. But I feel like Mobley's got to be your best player in order for you to be a team that challenges Boston.

that Donovan Mitchell can take all the shots late, but that you have to eliminate some of the use or what they've done this year. Really? You guys correct me because you're more on it. You're more into the scheming than I am, but I would imagine that so much more offense is running through Mobley now and that they're using him so much more, uh,

like Bam Adebayo, that you limit the inefficiencies in Donovan Mitchell's usage rate such that they are by just going to a player who can be more efficient. Do you guys disagree with that? That for the Cavs to actually be what they represent right now, Mobley has to be their most productive, most trusted player, and then you take Donovan Mitchell and anytime you need a bailout, you use him. Dan, when they started the season 5-0 or 6-0 or something, I said that. I said, I don't think they've scratched the surface of how good they can be.

And everyone's like, what do you mean? I'm like, because Mobley still is. Mobley and Bam is actually a very good comp. It's like those guys that were waiting. Dude, if you ever reach that point where you're that Giannis level of, not Giannis productivity, but Giannis level of, man, F this. Give me the ball. Get out of my way.

then that takes their team to another level. I don't know if that's going to happen 15 games in as I watch Mobley. I don't know if he's ready to take that leap yet, but they are running stuff through him, and he is facilitating a lot more than he used to in a Bam out-of-bio type of way. Yeah, I don't think we're ever, and this is, I'm sort of in your shoes here when it comes to my opinion on Mobley in comparison to Bam. Like, your thoughts about Bam before, I don't think he's going to have that offensive power

mindset to just try to take over, I still don't see it in him. I see him being more of the complementary player who will dominate in games in a way that you maybe don't notice, but I still don't think of him as, hey, I'm going to get 30 and 12 on 15 shots, and trust me, you're going to be good. I think this requires Donovan Mitchell, at least at a playoff level, requires Donovan Mitchell to be absolutely great. Well, and the difference between the Cavs and the Heat and the construction around these two players is the Cavs have

two guards in garland and mitchell who play in different spaces of the floor than bam does where bam's been trying to do this his whole career is alongside jimmy butler who offensively is occupying some of those same spaces so this allows mobley to open up his game in a way that that is tremendous and if you look at the usage rate across the team i believe it's 30 usage rate for mitchell 26 for garland 22 for mobley that's kind of evening things out from where they've been sure the the

My argument against Bam is that even when Jimmy's not there, he still does not step up into that

That vacuum. He still plays the same type of style, and that's the difference. But also, I would argue, Dan, when you look at how the Cavs have played, and Donovan Mitchell's been sensational this year, and Garland's been great, and a lot of... They credit that also to Mobley. That Mobley has allowed them to kind of play a freer style that does not involve pounding the rock as much. So the impact is there. It's not quite as...

in-your-face appearance as we want it to be, which is 30-12 like Izzy said. But the impact is there offensively for them. The thing with Bam, though, that you mentioned is just the other night, they're running actions where it's Bam, Duncan, and Tyler all playing off of each other. They're running actions with all three of them with Jimmy out of the game. And what happens? Bam erupts for 30 points and 12 rebounds himself. So he's able to have those types of games when you're running those actions.

actions that way and creating some space. It's all just about roster construction, and that's why the Cavs are set up for success here. I'll say it. This Cavs team, worst team to ever start 15-0. No doubt about it. And it guarantees nothing. I'm telling you, the Capitals in 1948-49, they started 15-0, did not win the Cup.

I can't believe you went there. They went to the finals, though. That was Dan's point. I mean, the Warriors, 24-0, 2015-16. They made it to the finals, did not win. I mean, Dan, you have to. You have to think that this team's not that good when they've got your boy Niang out there doing it and playing 30 minutes. I love my pear-shaped Niang. He'll go out there and give you five threes. He's putting up the shots, whether it goes over five or five for five. I do have a trouble trusting the Cavs.

Because of how thoroughly their front line kept getting dismantled by that old Knicks team.

Mitchell Robinson. What a series. Because I was confused. The thing that made me think the Cavs are better this year than they were last year and the last few years is they went into Madison Square Garden against these new, not gritty Knicks. And all of a sudden, it's not Mitchell Robinson taking them out. But I don't believe that there can be a lot of quieter 15-0 starts this year.

Than the one that the Cavs have had, at least in part because I don't think anyone listening to this will believe that that can be a core problem.

that can sustain that in a way that would have them have 75 wins finish 75 at the pace they're on i'm just doing the head they're doing this in my head but it's like 75 and 5 or something like that is where it is that they would end up even though there are 82 games i've got two forfeits in there because the math is confusing to me that's where 15 out of 16 is what you're saying but i'm saying like at

At this pace, I don't think anybody believes this pace is real. And I would ask Izzy and Amin, do you? Because they go into Boston. This would be a classic Stugatz good loss. You go into Boston, you're playing against the champions, and you lose by a bucket. It's also a champion reminding you that, hey, we're the champions. Get through us. Did you see Big Al last night? Wake up, Carl. Oh!

Another sort of sign when I was watching the game last night with Mobley and like, man, I mean, Darius Garland shooting 50% for the year, but yesterday was awful. Finished three for 21. And in the end, who was out there taking more shots? It was him, not Evan Mobley or, or Donovan Mitchell. Uh,

The other thing I want to point out is those 48, 49 Washington Capitals that Stugatz mentioned started 15-0. Yeah. They finished the season 38-22, meaning they went 13-22 after that 15-0. Yeah. You know who coached them? Who? Some bum named Red Auerbach. Wow.

I want to get into with you guys some of the stuff happening around inside the NBA. I know Charles Barkley's not going to be happy at all about working for ESPN and not having control over it. He's not. This is this. This is this. It's the caveat. I can't wait. We talk to Samson tomorrow, right?

I can't wait to ask him about this. I've never seen... It was like a three-team trade. You get a settlement, and part of the settlement is someone else is coming in and saying, hey, we'll take the high-salary players, older players over here. But the show is going to be produced, created, shot all by Turner in the Atlanta studio with their staff, with their people, and it's no different than...

than ESPN airing the McAfee show. Just like, hey, here's the show. All you do is hit a button and it's live. Now the question is, how much feedback can ESPN give back after the fact? How much feedback will they receive? Meaning, a great example of this. Last night, we have two great games on TNT. Cavs-Celtics and then Spurs and Thunder, where the Spurs won without Victor Uemanyama. Chris Paul had to turn back the clock night, right?

The first thing they come out from is...

Charles and Kenny talk about, Kenny said, I showed Charles how to use an ATM because he's never used an ATM in his life. And then Shaq says, I've never used an ATM either. And then they start arguing about how is that possible? And Charles said, because we're black. We didn't have any money until we had millions of dollars, so I didn't have to ever go to an ATM. And they spent like a strong five minutes talking about using an ATM until Ernie's like, I didn't know that's what we were going to start the show tonight. I thought we'd start with these games or whatever. Which, by the way, hold on.

Can you imagine never using an ATM? Ever? Like Shaq does not know. Dan's worst nightmare. I still use one and I feel so lonely going through them. I feel like I'm going through an old west town. I've seen you go into a bank. I've walked into a bank as well. Yes, he laughs. Listen to me. What are you doing there? He's laughing his

I've got Dan filling out the withdrawal slip not even an ATM come on paperwork and get to them All right, so why am I in the bank instead of at the ATM? Why that much money? Huh? My man because I need more cash than the ATX My daily limit is frustrating and he's here I go more cash so much cash

I think you can increase your limits. Billy, in order to make the cash phone call thing, you need a lot of cash to do this. You can't do it with like 200 bucks. Is that why? What happened to Chris with the ATMs?

I'm advised of you being able to raise your limits. It's just an email. Like, hey, I'd like my limits to go up a little bit. I emailed a private banker. Oh. And I don't know how many. If it was one of those little things in the corner, that's not a real person. That's like an AI thing. Like Clippy, the old paper clip. That wasn't just a you thing. Thank you, Billy. I appreciate all of your private banker expertise.

The thing that I was doing was trying to get it to $1,000 instead of $600. I think $600 is the normal limit. And I needed more than that to pay an assortment of people in cash because I like doing it the good old-fashioned American way. Get your computer.

High five of the 20? Here you go. And here's another thing that happens when you give people that money, then all of a sudden they have that money with no record of how it is that they got that money. And there's no paper trail. What are you talking about? I'm just saying I'm giving people cash because I want it to come with no strings attached. You just grab it and you take the strings off of it and you go elsewhere with your cash. Yeah.

Is this a Jay Leno situation where you're in gambling debt? More of a hush money situation. Look at how much I get fined around here. I'm the only one paying the fine. In fact, if I pooled, let's see here, I'm going to bet me here, if I

pulled everyone in this office on the amount of physical cash that everyone's got combined i'm gonna have more than that in my wallet right i'm taking out a thousand dollars a day hold on let's do this but between everybody i'm not even talking about you guys i'm talking about everybody who works here the amount of cash that they have uh what's a wallet i mean do you have any cash whatsoever typically i have like 20 bucks on me but today's zero

This is an eternal frustration for me. Billy has Dan go into the ATM every day and get $1,000. Well, that's what he said. No, that is not what I said. No, I just said I wanted the daily limit to be larger than $1,000. The control room has like $10, I think. I have $8, six singles, and the rare $2 bill. Oh, wow! Maybe Dan stole the fine bucket. He's the only one with cash.

He's been recycling it this whole time. You know, not talked about, the advancement of ATMs where you could choose the bills. $10 bills. Loved it. Game changer. I'd love a good $50. Do you let the ATM decide or you choose it yourself? It used to decide for you. Right. You decide for yourself. You have to decide. You got to do a little potpourri. Let me get it. $150. Right. $120. A little bit of everything. Two tens. Yeah. Yeah.

Five singles. I also, by the way, they don't give singles. At least mine don't. I wish. But I also try to do accounting where if I'm going to the ATM, the money is basically spent. I know what I'm spending it on, and then I'm trying to figure out what's the best way to do this. And it's usually, by the way, barbershop. I don't like asking for cash back when I pay for my haircut, the tip. But I also don't want to give an extra $10 to a tip if it's only giving me 20s. You know what I mean? How much is the haircut?

It's a tough question. Yeah. What do you mean? Is it fluid? It's an easy question. They've gotten more expensive. You're going to no comment, Stugatz, on content we're making? You know what? It's tricky. I can answer it. It's just a tricky situation. Let's hear him out. I'm willing to hear him out. I feel your frustration. It's a tricky situation. He just gave me advice.

I didn't. I comment. It's just a tricky situation. He gave it to me, and you're more frustrated than I am, but let's hear him out. Because we're doing a show together, and I need the answer as opposed to no comment, and I don't want to badger an employee for something more than a no comment. You were happy when you couldn't hear him before. It's a tricky situation. Now you know why.

It started at $12. I was getting my $12 haircuts on Bird Road at Styles and Cuts. Just the letter N. Styles and Cuts. But I didn't have a set barber there. So then it became kind of, yeah, we're playing Russian roulette with the situation. It was barber roulette. Yeah, okay, barber roulette.

Well, they were Russian. Unless you're in a Russian barbershop. Yeah, the old Russian barbershop on Bird Road. Billy walking. There are lots of Russian names in Cubans. Do you realize how funny it is that you're paying for a haircut the same amount that my father's been paying for his haircut with the same barber since 1970? Well, that's what I was paying. And then I found a new barbershop because I wasn't like...

There was no reliability here. The barbers were getting older. I was like, you know what? I'm a youngish man. The 80-year-old's cutting my hair. We're going with an 80-year-old's hairstyle here. So then I found another barber that I selected strictly because he has the same first name as me. So I went to that barber, and then he had a situation where he left the barber shop. And then when he left the barber shop, I went with him because I liked the haircuts I was getting.

But then the price changed at the new barbershop because of their rules. They had a strict thing. He didn't grandfather you in? For a little bit. I felt bad because I saw the listed price, so I was paying him that. And then he's like, by the way, next month I have to raise the price, the listed price. But it's fine because you're already paying that. But basically a decision was made for me. I'm going to be paying more for haircuts now. Are you going to tell us the price? I started at $12. Now it's $35 for a haircut. Wow.

Yeah, plus tip. That's what I'm saying. Daddy's not getting his haircut as often now. By the way, I went out there in the room. Roughly 17 people out there. They have about $340. Wow. No, it's Bimmel's here. It's Bimmel. I told you. I knew it. I knew it. Bimmel was only like 60 of it, though.

So are you guys, oh, I think you got me beat. I've got $220 on me. Yeah, that's a fine. You didn't go to the bank today. Yeah, you had to turn that in as a fine. It's all ours. You're adding up. He has cash on him all the time. He was late to work today. He's missing $800. What do you guys do with airport baggage handlers now? Do you guys go from-

We've been over this. We do our own stuff. We take it to the person. They take it for us and I don't have to tip anybody. In the instances where you have to give a valet or a baggage handler money the way you used to give them money. You guys are telling me that many of these valets now have Venmo and Zelle and everything else. It just happened to me last night. But airports.

Sport baggage handlers. Five bucks. But what five bucks? From where? What five bucks? Strong thank you. What's your Venmo? Dan, I'm telling you right now.

I haven't used a baggage handler in like 25 years. And not because I don't check bags. I don't check bags. But when I do check bags, like Izzy said, you go right inside. It made it so easy. You just scan your boarding pass. It says, how many bags do you have? I say, two. Then you drop it off. Then the two stickers come out. I don't even put the stickers on. I just go up to the counter, hand them the bags and the stickers. You're making a three-week trip, and you've got 50 pounds of luggage. What are you giving the handler in cash? That handler is just losing their money, right? I'm not.

You're no longer using a handler. I'm not using a handler. Are you talking about the curbside handler? Because no one uses that. Nobody uses that. No, he's saying a guy that meets you at baggage claim takes your bags off the thing, puts them on a thing, and then takes them out to the car for you. There are dozens of people on the curbside.

curb that are employees that used to get cash. Have you noticed that they're not helping anybody these days because nobody uses them? It's usually handicapped people, like people within wheelchairs and stuff. You know what it is? It's also people who, I had a friend who was trying to tell me this and I'm like, oh, because the line is shorter outside. And I'm like, no, it's not. There's no line inside.

There's no line. They've got you fooled. They've got you brainwashed. Big baggage handler has you believing, Dan, that this is the only way.

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