Bug-Eyed TikTok Bitch with Brittany Broski
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I know, I know. And then the Capitol. Sorry, we were just recapping. Brittany Broski was seen at the Capitol. Come on! It was in November. Insurrection? January 6th. November? It was right after the inauguration. Yeah, January 6th. 6th. Brittany, was it you in the wolf, the hooded...

No, she had the lady Viking and then the yellow M&M costume and then the lady Viking hat on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And six inch Gene Simmons platform boots. Yeah, yeah. And she was seen in Nancy Pelosi's personal bathroom wiping her ass with a seven inch acrylics that couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. So she dumped her ass, dunked her ass in the toilet water. Yes. And that's how she was caught. And that's how you use a bidet. Hey! We have somebody who's honestly...

If we're truly, honestly, sincerely. You want to talk an actual beauty icon? Uh-huh. A woman who is not afraid to invoke the smoke and mirrors of hair and makeup cosmeceuticals. When did she get here? I'm waiting.

Who is she? Also, she's actually my neighbor. Yeah. Walked here. We say that me, her, and Sarah Schauer are a content house now. Oh my God, you're like a TikTok house. A DickDock house. A DickDock house. That nobody had asked for. Not a single person was like, we need that to happen. Well, Monique Hart used to live on this block too. And then we would have really been a house. Or a content corner or a block. Yeah, it's a content corner. That's what they call it. Truly. I recently did a little bit of a...

well, I just learned about TikTok houses and stuff. And in Russia, they have them as well. And there's one called the dream team. And I, I,

I felt so, I felt like that thing where you're like, you'd know just without a shadow of a doubt, it's like, oh, you're old and there's no going back. You know what I mean? It's like when you can't understand the language of the young. Y'all know that very well. Now y'all understand that very well. I don't know if it's being nice, but he's like, it's never happened to me. Oh my God. I'm letting you know, cause I'm 42 years old. I'm not ashamed of it. And I, I just, I've really like, I've made peace with the fact that I,

won't ever live in a tiktok house and that's okay are you okay i'm looking for my water sorry oh i'm having a little stroke lit over here don't mind me i was a stroke lit it's like a brink slit um a brink oh my god when i'm the only healthy one here that's when you know the shit has really hit the fan it's falling apart we got sound effects sis you want to try one i would love to try one

No, that's too much. We didn't plan. What if every time you hit it, it was something really negative? And every time we did it- A racial epithet. Yeah. Okay.

- Oh my God. Look at you with them nails. - Speaking of TikTok, you know, Brittany has been to the TikTok headquarters. I don't, what is it? Is there, is it like a- - It's just a bunch of like disgruntled 20 somethings in an office in Santa Monica. - I imagine it's just like a very modernist building with a giant plasma screen of Anthony Hopkins going TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. That's the way it is in my mind. - Y'all are coming on my TikTok calling me daddy.

I hate you. You're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give me $300. Give me, give me $200. Can we talk about celebrities on Tik TOK? We are celebrities. You are a celebrity. I would say you are your generations. Um, are you your generations? Julia Roberts, Tammy Faye Baker. Well, you got the lashes down. Those are, thank you. You're your generation. Kristen Chenoweth. Does YouTube pay for the Tik TOK house? Who pays the rent? You want to know something? Um,

very, very much rivals. When it comes to like social media platforms is like, you can't really, you know, and we're urged in the TikTok podcast. I don't know if we can keep this in to not talk about the other platforms because they want to see TikTok as not social media, but as a place to spread joy.

It sounds like. It is. It is. When it's in the right hands, it is. Well, I think, okay. I mean, technology in itself is, you could argue, neutral. It's what it's used for. Sure. Right? Sure. Yeah.

It's a tool for whatever evil you want to put it on. It's a tool for whatever kind of evil fucking stupid choreography you want to do. For the people we run with, we could ruin any platform. Oh, yeah. We can make anything dark-sided. I would take any tool and really, yeah. Oh, put it in the wrong hands. I hate to toot your horn, but you know, Brittany is the host of the official TikTok podcast. Oh, shit.

They are happy. They're lucky to have you because I do think everybody likes you. Thank you. And you're going to get all kinds of guests who maybe they have nothing in common, but their unifying thing is that they all like talking to you. Oh, well, that's sweet, isn't it? That's bliss report. Or is it? Yeah, we'll find out.

That's not a good one. That's like the morning radio. That's the full house intro. Totally. You watch WandaVision? I don't, but I did watch The Mandalorian. And did you find, have you learned that Sophie Anderson and Rebecca Moore have released The Mandalorian? No, but I will be checking that out on Disney Channel.

The Amanda Leporian. That is the best one. That is so good. The idea that, I mean, like, could you imagine Amanda Lepore in a mask, can't see her face until only like 10 seconds at the end of the series and the whole time you're like, hi guys. You know what I mean? Yes, of course. That is so fucking funny. I imagine like her assistant showing her on the phone like, look, they're doing this and she looks at the Amanda Lepore and Mima goes, okay, but what is that?

It's on Disney. Sounds great. Hi, Brittany. The breastplate would be so big. You could clock her so easy. Yeah. The most clockable. Oh my God. How are you enjoying podcasting? Podcasting is very fun, isn't it? This is like I'm living my Jimmy Fallon fantasy.

And no drag. Yeah, which is sad. And you know what else too? They know because like for the guest benefit, they book it at like 1030 a.m. Pacific time. Well, girl, I go to sleep at 9 a.m. Pacific time. I have to like get up early for the podcast. Early. It's like 11 a.m. So never in full beat. And it's a video. And I just feel I'm giving Owen Wilson everything. And it's just.

I hate it. Giving adult, what's his name from the, Freddie Prinze Jr.? No. Giving Haley Joel Osment. Yes. Giving adult Haley Joel Osment. Yes. Oh boy. With his mullet. It's fun because when you think of podcast, I mean, you know, the video aspect to it is definitely fun, but y'all don't do the video aspect. Okay. It's not stress. Correct me if I'm wrong, but a podcast is an audio file.

It is, but they love to watch. All the biggest people have made it a video. Yes, I realize this, but we're in drag together fucking 10 times a week on the internet. People can just imagine what we look like. Do you really forget by the time Tuesday comes around what we look like? I can't absorb this audio information unless I have a visual cue. It's like, come on. Do you like listening to stuff? Is it overrated now?

- I don't know. - I was gonna ask, sorry to interrupt you. I was like, the TikTok is like so visual. What do you do, talk about choreography? - We talk about their experience on the app because it really is an interesting conversation depending on who you're talking to. I mean, if you're talking to, you know, Charli D'Amelio, it's like, so you dance, yeah, you do that a lot. I mean, there's not really much to talk about, but when you go deeper into it of, you know, mentally, how has this affected you?

Like what is it like having a hundred million people comment on what you do every single second of the day? That's a very interesting conversation. I've talked to Derek Hough. Hi Derek Hough. - Oh, I just saw him. I just saw him on TikTok doing the . You know what I'm talking about? - No, it's not at all. But I'm gonna act like I do and I love it. - I don't even know who Derek Hough is. Dancing with the stars.

Right? Dancing with the Stars? Now y'all are supposed to be the pinnacle of pop culture. Julianne something and Derek Hoffman? Yeah. We don't know anything. Blonde male dancer. She knows a little more than me because she watches TV. Well, y'all have these obscure little references that fucking nobody clocks. I'm 50 years old, honey. I have a lot of like, you know what I mean? I don't watch television. I don't either. You and me watch what? 90 Day Fiancé and what? Literally 90 Day Fiancé. Oh, okay.

I'm watching 90 Day Fiance. But I don't watch TV. Exactly. That's above that. Yeah. I've seen episodes. I've seen seasons one through seven. It's not like I've seen them all. I do. I've seen seasons one through seven. How many fucking are all seven seasons? A lot. You know what I like about it? It's formulaic and still new every time. Yeah.

of course. Try it and true. Try it and true. It's like every classic sitcom. Yeah. I love 90. And you know why I started listening to it? Cause all my, all my favorite comedy people were always talking about. I was like, well, it must be funny if they like it. And it is crazy. Yeah. Amy Schumer is just like, I love 90 day fiance. It's like, have you been, Oh, I just been watching 90 fiance. How about you? And the other person's like, same. I mean, that's people's whole podcast. Yeah. I mean, there's Nicole Byer. She loves it. A lot of people, like I see it on, I see it on Twitter. A lot of people love it. I I've never seen it. I don't like watching the Amanda Leporian.

Yes, you should. It's fucking riveting. That's not even real. Oh. Those people hate to break it to you. I hate to break it to you. Those people aren't real. But let me tell you, Muhammad is real. We're 90 Day Fiancé. Oh. I know. It's like, oh, we're getting into religion already. I know. We're bringing allies to this. I want to divorce Muhammad. I love that show. Do they ever truly fall in love? Do you believe it? Yes. You like The Bachelor? I've never seen it.

Do you like The Bachelor? I am. I've seen clips of it and just enough to know about the fun. And I've read people's commentary and I've observed the craze around it. Like I am fascinated that people allow themselves to get swept up in something that is obviously so many levels of fake is not even the word. It's like produced. But right. And like I was like, OK, so I'm trying to grapple with is this is just on this like for real people trying to get famous. Right.

For the most part, yeah. I genuinely believe, maybe this is because I'm a woman and I love to romanticize things, but it's very much, and you can say it again. She is a woman. That was the wrong button. That was not a joke. Sorry, she's a woman.

Oh, now that's the one. And even the button's pink. Yes. I don't know why the joke was, she's a woman, drum hit. I'm so sorry. That was, you know what? You had your moment. I hope it was worth it. What was I going to say? Did you get the clicks? Did you get the engagement? Is this all that you ever dreamt of? Was it worth it, flop? Yes. What I was going to say is, it's so romanticized. I would like to think it's real. And Bachelor Nation is so, that's what it's called. Oh, wow. And I call my nation, Broski Nation. Okay. Somebody hit the fucking. Broski.

No, not that one. No, sorry. Broski Nation. Yeah. Yeah. Crack a few broskis and let's settle in. Yeah, for real. But I do think, I mean, because it's on television, none of it can truly be intimate and private and real. Sure. But I want to think so because they make it look so convincing. Yeah. I watched a lot of dating shows during lockdown. I don't watch TV, though.

No, but in the beginning of lockdown, there's nothing to do. I had never seen Rock of Love, Flavor of Love. I loved New York. I'd never seen any of that. So I watched Simple Life. Never seen it. Top Model. Never seen it. You'd never seen America's Top Model? I'd never seen it. You guys, I was not. First season's incredible. In high school, I didn't have cable. I didn't see any of this. So like watching it now. Hey, was Shale turd? Well, it's funny. She was on. I mean, we were on Drag Race. Drag Race for the first three, four seasons was straight a parody of Top Model. Yeah. No idea. Yeah.

Watching Top Model now, I'm like, oh. I mean, now I'm like, oh, Drag Race is like this. Tyra, though, I mean, she, have you seen the Tyra Banks talk show? Yeah, bitch, where she's like, the fake fading and shit. The worst host of a television show ever in the history of broadcast television. She was so bad. I mean, it is fascinating to watch. Yeah, and we can't judge people's. Let's just say that she did things on that show that didn't age well. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, I put on a fat suit. Now I know the plight of the overweight woman.

girl. Or the homeless. I mean, it was, it was wild. Also. Yeah. And also she did not. Did she do it? And on her, the top model, when she would do these bits, when she fainted. Yeah. Was anybody scared? Me too. Me too. Yeah. So was I. Also during the talk show, when she's having the fake seizure and she has, uh, um,

foaming from the mouth and then she attacks an audience member. It is, I want to know, I want to hear the producers of that show because it's like, it is fucking crazy. So gorgeous. Say what you want about Tyra Banks but you cannot say she's not entertaining. Oh no, no, no, no, no. She is so much an entertainer through and through to her bones. An absolute star. I saw her at the American Influencer Award. She was presenting after me and I just turned around and I thought, this is not a read. She's so tall. I thought she was a drag queen. I thought it was another queen because I just saw her silhouette and I walked in and I was like, okay, Tyra Banks.

But she's so beautiful. Yeah, she's stunning. She's absolutely stunning. And I watched, there was a re-sort of invigorated interest in the Smize because of the mask wearing during COVID. And I truly cannot tell you that it's actually a real thing. I actually don't think it's real. Why are you squinting at me like that? I see no difference. That's giving Jeffrey Dahmer everything. For me, there's this. Mama, future of drag. Like, this is this.

That's, that's, there's a thumb up my butt. That's what you're doing. For the audio listeners, he's just raising his eyebrows. Yeah. I'm sorry, but she gets, she is like very much takes pride in having the credit for this very nuanced and important kind of like facial revolution. Can you do it, Brittany?

- It's just one of these. - That's a squint. - Exactly, it's not a smize. - So there's other words for this. - Yeah. - So there's bug eyes or there's squints. - Okay girl. - She said, "Come for my brand." - I said, "Okay, okay." - There's other words for this, bug-eyed TikTok bitch.

A big foot, bald headed. Oh my God. I introduced Katya to this thing that you showed me, which is just checking in. When you take your pictures. Oh, you love that. Oh, I did it the other day. I did it the other day. It's so good. I did it the other day. You couldn't see any of my face though. It was all done. We're not doing it right. We'll do one later. No, no, no. It was the right angle. You should be able to distinguish like part of a pupil and then just mainly nose. I love it. This one will snatch the hair back as far as it goes and have the frame start at the hairline.

- Yeah, you are so brave. - Thank you so much. - It's the courage. - This is my story. - How do you find the bravery to locate the courage to be so vulnerable? - You wanna know something? I just came from therapy, so let's get into this. - Oh yeah. - Have to make fun of myself. - This is a quick four hour chunk. - Yeah, a quick six hour. Hey, can you just rank out today? - It's just twice a day, it's four hours. Do they have a therapist like on location in the TikTok house?

By the way, it's Sarah. She's outside Sarah's shower's door. Like, anyway. Me and Sarah just two patients trying to like counsel each other. That's all that is. It's mentally ill hour. What'd they say at therapy, if you don't mind me asking? Well, it was just intro. But it was, I very much explained, you know, like the reason why funny people are funny is because you have to make fun of yourself or you've gone through something in order to, you know,

That therefore is the gateway for people laughing at you or with you, question mark, we never know. So that's where it comes from is checking in the forehead thing is so fucking funny 'cause it looks stupid, but it's been called a big forehead Tweety bird bitch my whole life.

Your drag name. That is your drag name. Big forehead, Tweety Bird bitch. The incomparable, the legendary. Welcome to the stage. She's your baby sister. She's our baby sister. She's everybody's baby sister. Welcome to the stage. The 11 dancing toads of the big headed Tweety Bird bitch.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Intro Shania Twain. You are very striking though. And you would. Yeah. When she, when she's in the hair, the cause she's a cosmeceutical witch. Thank you, girl. Yes. Very good with the makeup. Very good with the makeup. Yeah. When I, well, it's, it's,

It's fun, isn't it? 'Cause some people do it for- - She doesn't like it. - It's a blast. - She's just trying to get to point A to point B. - Taki's been trying to quit drag for the last 10 years. - I have. - Point A being Mr. Burns, point B being street walker. - Yeah, Susan Lucci. - Fucking tangerine bitch. - But do you enjoy putting makeup on? - I enjoy the process of putting makeup on and I love the transformation. You and I have talked about this before. We love transforming into a character.

And it's very fun in that regard. But doing it every day as a career, I understand. I understand. And I think about it all the time, how y'all do it. I don't know. Well, for example, today, we're not filming this, obviously, but I have a little bit of psoriasis on my face. I'm in a gown. She's in a gown. Yeah, she's in a pageant updo. And I'm fully naked. She had me cover psoriasis on her face before you got here. So this morning, I...

I took a shower, hadn't showered about three days. And so I took a shower, exfoliated, moisturized heavily, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I went into the makeup corner of my studio and I tried to cover this unsightly blemish that indicates some level of like skin disease. And I couldn't do it. And I have a lot of experience with makeup. I've been doing makeup for 10 years on my face. Couldn't do it. I came over here in this fucking ghoul and she puts the brush on and I think you can tell that it's still there.

So I'm really dissatisfied. I can't tell anything. Perfect. Like here? See? Well, no, because you pointed here earlier. That's where I was looking, girl. I never pointed. If we were really trying to hide it, I think we would have done concealer on both sides. Also, I think you got to just put it everywhere. Right? You do like bare minimals everywhere? Because right now, this cheek is really even and this cheek looks like your normal skin. Right. So this one's more perfect. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. This looks horrible. Yes.

This side is just fucking gutting. Rotted, decaying. Horrible. Now, did you put those lashes on yourself or are those professionally applied? Well, no. This is strip lash. A strip? Really? She strips in those. It's when I'm feeling like, well, because I just got this mullet by accident. Talk about it. I asked my hairdresser to cut me some bangs. Girl, she did it all the way around.

Look how short this is in the back. You said, Miley, hold on. Literally, I said I'm coming for your brand. But it's kind of sickening because when I have the black line on and I'm giving snatch brow and my lips are done, I really like it. And I'm all black and silver jewelry. It's really a moment. But right now, sitting here with you ladies and with my one strip lash kind of half hanging off, I'm feeling very much... Well, you smell terrific. Thank you. You smell terrific. What is it that you're wearing?

It is vanilla musk. It smells terrific. It's on Amazon, girl. It's an essential oil. Oh, just an oil? Essential Earl. What's that, $12? Yeah. No, literally. It's like $17. It's in my purse. It's a little roller. My friend Katie introduced me to it. She said all the strippers at her club wear it. And it's just a, it's not water-based. It's like oil-based. So it stays on all night. I was like, yeah. I think female strippers have better taste in affordable fragrances than drag queens do because the drag queens like to wear that.

pink sugar shit. Oh yeah. I wore that shit because it's cheap. What Britney Spears or something? No it's called pink sugar. You get it at the beauty supply stores. It's called pink sugar. It's about 20 bucks on sale at Marshalls too. It's like cotton candy. I wore it for five years straight and then I graduated to like very expensive perfumes. Top shelf. Top shelf. For meet and greets right? Like I want to smell it absolutely best I can. I bought it I went back and smelled the can of pink sugar like the cat's ass.

It is disgusting. It is disgusting. What does it smell like? Cotton candy, vanilla maybe? Cotton candy and motor oil. Is it just because you go for like you want that feminine? You need something strong and quote unquote girly to be, you know what I mean? Cover the balls with. We're in contact with people. I was dancing on people all the time. Do you know what I mean? And I smell like shit. It's also not perfume. It's body spray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, this was perfume. Pink sugar? Pink sugar is eau de toilette, baby.

Okay. More like belongs in the toilet. It is disgusting. Belongs in the toilet. Have you ever stuck your nose up a cat's ass? Not recently. No. That's pig sugar. Pride was canceled. When I...

Oh, shit. It was good. The beauty is any of them work. Any of them work. But sometimes it's a read. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah, yeah. Well, shade comes from reading, hunty. Let's give it up for Brittany, who's a huge celebrity. And it's like, wah, wah, wah. Now, see, that's funny. Yeah, that's funny. It's never not funny. What else did you learn in therapy, say? Well, it was a bunch of intros, but he definitely was like, you need help.

Yes. And it's very much behavioral therapy. CBT? Cock and ball torture. Yes. Did he say you need to stop being up at five in the morning? No. Cramping your hair? Are you a late... Oh, you're one of those people. This whore. This whore. Tell them when you're most creative. Oh, my creativity tweaking hours are from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. Classic tweaker. Sometimes up until 6 a.m. Yes. And if she'll say 3 a.m., she'll say, it's time for a bang tutorial. And she'll film a video. Oh, shit.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And I'm feeling a little shamed because you're a bitch ass texting me at 2.35 a.m. Look at these receipts. But I'm drinking. You're working. That's what's normal. Exactly. No, it's fun. It's fun. Nobody's awake. It's just me and the universe alone. And I'm filming a 70s heritage story.

Yeah. And I'm doing a smoky eye. Maybe a little sketchy. I'm a woman. Oh, that's right. I never walk out here. You got them claws. You could scratch somebody's eyes out. I had mace, but they took it at TSA. They took it and made me throw it away. When did you start? Because you're kind of a nail claw full time gal. When did you start doing that? High school. Really? I've got man hands, girl. I've got my dad's hands. I got...

And so I was like, how do I make this not? I mean, I'm looking right now at your selection of rings on three on each finger. Your, your hands are absolutely stunning and very compelling. Thank you so much. Yeah, no, it's definitely like a mental thing of when I have my nails on, I feel very feminine. I feel very much helps the illusion. Same. And I mean, a hundred percent in drag.

Especially when I wear long nails, which isn't often. But when I wear like a long nail in a video, I can't stop. I'm pointing to everything. I'm clicking. I'm touching. I'm like everything is a handle. The punctuation, the elaboration. It's like, it's yeah. It's amazing. Well, even more. And I rarely do it because what, what like occasion do I have to get dressed up? But gloves. Yeah.

You love to wear gloves? Well, like for the photo shoots and all that, like gloves with rings and the nails on the gloves. I'm thinking Juno Birch. It's a whole different level of fantasy. Right. Of like an Audrey Hepburn. I had 32 pairs of gloves made in matching fabric yesterday that I received. And I am fucking, I am like nutting in my panties right now. Are they how long? They're opera fucking length, almost up to the shoulder, bitch. I can't say.

Okay. Cause it was, you know, it was a thing. It was a favor. Paid? It was a favor. We did a favor, but yeah, I'll tell you about that. But it was like, they, I am so like. It's one of those under the table, black market glove gigs. Totally. Drag club gigs. But there, I mean, cause you can't find. The first rule of glove club. Don't talk about glove club. Let's take a break. Let's take a break.

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And we're back. Oh, and we're back. Would you ever go to Dave and Buster's? I don't even know what that is. Brittany and I went to Dave and Buster's once and it was really fun. Is it like Chuck E. Cheese? Yes, but for adults. Adult Chuck E. Cheese. Meaning? I can go naked. It's Chuck E. Cheese and everyone's fucking. Yeah, everybody's titties out, dips out hard, dripping wet. Yeah, sopping pussies. Slug marks on the leather. Slug marks. Slug marks.

She comes out of the ball pit and it's empty. Her pussy just ate all of them. Oh my God. So I have to tell you guys, I watched them. I downloaded a straight porn last night from a browsers. You've heard of browsers? I have heard of browsers. Now tell me about downloading porn. Well, this is, I've been going through on my iPhone. You know how like you on your iPhone or whatever, you can manage your subscriptions and often you'll sign up for something to get a free trial and you'll forget. That's what they count on.

I had signed up for a free trial of, I guess, browsers or Pornhub or something that I wasn't aware I was paying like $10 a month for. Jesus Christ. For like a year and a half. Okay. This is what your money's going to, people. Please support my straight porn addiction that I visit twice a year. I've been watching a lot of straight porn as well. But this, I couldn't believe it. It was a squirting one. Love the squirting.

They did a fake out scene like I did on my OnlyFans where they squirted water at this dude's face. It was a close-up. No pussy. And I was like, you dirty dogs. You dirty dog-ass motherfuckers. The secrets of the trade. It was so comical. Don't bullshit a bullshitter. Yeah, exactly. It was so over the top. I was like, you really want me to...

continue having this boner knowing that you are just someone's off camera with a fucking turkey baster or like or a super soaker just squirting the hell out of j-max face they do it all the time with cum though they'll cut to the person it's like white mayonnaise and i'm like girl that's neutrogena i could it's a survey it's survey bitch i could not believe it i have a question for you yes have you been famous during like a pride month yet

No. It was virtual. It was virtual in 2020. I hope you start to get doing prides. Oh my God. Imagine Britney like host, do a number. Rake it in the dough. Ain't nobody asking for me to do a number, girl. Oh, just you wait. You doing the Sam Smith version of I Feel Love.

Two Mollies deep wearing a boa. And they're like, you're not even supposed to be doing a number. You're like, turn it down. Well, what a shame. I brought my own parade float. Yeah, headline and float. Albuquerque Pride. Get ready for it. You know, there was a gig that got canceled that was a radio thing. I was supposed to help in some Chicago radio station. And I was like, I don't know what y'all would want me to do. Here's the next song. I'm Brittany Burski. Like, what?

Do your TikTok thing. Go ahead. Be funny. Dance monkey dance. That is what it is. Yeah. I hope you get to do some prides because doing outdoor prides is funny because it's called pride. And that's exactly what you lack that day. Absolutely. When you're on a golf cart in the sunlight. No pride, no dignity. It's all about shame and suffering. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been? I was on in drag in Las Vegas in the summer.

at noon on meth. I believe it. Can you imagine what the heat temperature of that situation was like? How long? I mean, genuinely, can you do that? It's hour long gigs, like hours and hours. It's like, plus the meet and greet. Yeah. It's in, I don't know. There's a, I haven't ever, I've reached the point where it's like, you just, your body would be like, I'm leaving. You just walk away. I'll say this. You get sweaty. You don't ever look as bad as you think you do. Well,

Well, no, because it also, if like, if there are times when I'm actually like on drugs, that's what it's like paranoia as well. Sure. But like, I'm always hot, always sweating. If I, if everything's cool, I'm like, I know I'm probably sweating, but I like, I'm concerned about it, but it's, you know, it's not like, it's not amplified by the, by the, you know, whatever. Cause you know, like you get embarrassed and then you get embarrassed about being embarrassed. Oh yeah. You get more embarrassed. It's so meta. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. Big sweater. It's, oh, I'm sweating right now. But you,

know what too is like yes I'm a big sweater to the point where like you put deodorant under your titties I have sweat droplets down my stomach and my back and all my friends are little skinny girls they're little skinny tiny girls oh it's a little cold in here like anemic literally like fucking anemic and I'm like lord I forgot I'm one with the mister shit

like an old southern grandmother sweating I'm about to have a diabetic coma like normalize bringing pop fans into every occasion well in West Hollywood it's not too much of like oh look at her it's like a thing but if I'm here with the mister that goes around my neck and the fan that's battery operated now that

I've been places in drag where I have the fan. It's funny because drag queens have the fans because we're hot. And then gays have them because they're doing what the drag queens are doing. Because it's snatch team on a sis hunting. But for us, we're like, I'm seated at an air conditioned bar sweating. And you guys are just like, wouldn't it be crazy if we were hot? Wearing the two inches of Jersey fabric covering half a nipple. Exactly. Whole prolapsed with a few ice cubes shoved in it. Fuck off.

The other day, we started filming at World of Wonder again. And I tell you, they had that bitch like a fucking Minneapolis meat locker. I loved it. It was good. It was incredible. Well, they should know by now. Yeah, they do know. I think they've upgraded their air a little bit. They had to because I was like, oh my God, my lips are going to turn blue in a minute. I am having an orgasm. It was so fantastic. It was so nice. Really? Yeah, of course. Is part of it like a performance anxiety, but the good kind of anxiety?

No. No. Absolutely not. You're just hot? It's just like those two snowsuits and a fucking fur hat. True. Yeah, because she'll dab the face and so she doesn't appear sweaty. And then when she takes the costume off, it's fucking dracaroni in a pot, bitch. It sounds like when she takes the costume off and she drops it, it sounds like a fucking octopus hitting the ground. Fuck you.

I'm serious. You could take a costume off and fling it at the wall like spaghetti and it would stick. I could throw that thing into the desert and then fucking trees would grow. It's so sick. It's disgusting. Tell her what you used to do when we used to do clubs. Tell her what you used to do overnight with your costumes. Oh, Mary, I would have to like, every single thing would have to be aired out. Like every single thing. I could ring out

I know this is gross. I could wring out my undergarments and they would, like I jumped into a pool. Like I jumped into a pool and there was only, she knows about it. There's a bar called Oil Cane Harry's in Austin, Texas that we could walk into. They had a walk-in freezer right by the dressing room. I dream about that. I dream about it too. It's nice. It was nice. It's relief. If you're hot coming off stage and you walk into, you're surrounded by beer bottles and just,

isolated, like 10 degrees. That's the happy place. Because you have to go out through outside in the Texas heat, you know, summertime. You have to go through the outside to get to the stage and it's never, you know, it's packed, whatever. And it's just like, it's so horrible. But every place should have like a walk-in freezer. Everywhere. Texas heat is like the seventh layer of hell. It is like unbelievable. And moving out here, I was like, people live like this?

like this where it's nice? It's so nice here. It's like 78 every day. It's insane. It's incredible. And it's also like for people who want to do like, you know, the scarves and the jackets and stuff, you know, spring has like, you know, gets very cold and whatever. Where are you from originally? Texas. Which city? Houston and Dallas. I've got family in both places. Which do you prefer? Do you ever go down to S4? I do go down

I love Roundup. Oh my God. We have to do Roundup sometime. Brittany and Trixie, we have to host Roundup. You can come. Maybe girl. We'll secure you a ticket. Where's the Roundup? The Roundup. Yeah. Cowboy bar. Well, cause Dallas. That's where I went. The pad. The pad. I was in a pageant. You pulled the page. I was in a pageant at the Roundup. Really? Yeah.

Cowboy bar. I know. It's so cute. I know. Did they have the, like, were you dancing at the page? They have, like, a balcony area. Yeah. You can see, yeah, that's the Roundup. Yeah. Miss Gay, whatever, at large or something was there. Love that. Yeah, S4 is fun, too, but that's more like... Yeah, that's Circuit Boys. Yeah. So, I like Dallas. Houston...

The Houston gay scene is very different. It's a little messy. JR. South Beach, Houston? JR's. Go down to JR's. JR's. It's very... You been to South Beach? No, I haven't. Oh, you haven't. South Beach, Houston. That must be part of why you love drag so much because I bet you the Texas gays gave you a very early...

- But you know what, I think y'all forget, I just turned like 23. Like I, the time- - What the fuck? - Yes, the time, the amount of time that I've gone to like gay bars, you're not allowed in. I was like 21. - I'm twice your age. - Yeah, girl. - You're 23. - And we're so similar. - So similar. Yeah, I could be your father or grandfather. - But it's very much, you know, like,

In high school, I was not going out. I've always kind of, you know, I've had gay friends. It's all I've like ever had. I've never really had straight man friends. But when I started going out, when I was like legal, I was internet famous. So it's very different. I've never had. No. Well, thank God because it sucks. But it's so fun. No, no, no. People don't tell you this.

This is gauche. It's so much more fun to go to the gay bars when you're famous. You get special seating, special drinks, special everything. How about this? Performing at a nightclub, at a nude, like the nightclub when you're a freak and not on Drag Race, not famous, people look at you like... Like, look at that freak.

Look at that fucking freaking- Oh, yeah. Oh, it's- Make $40. Just show up in drag. No, no, no. Like, do a guest spot number. People don't give you the time of day. Two years later, you've been on Drag Race. Fucking panties flying through the air. Screaming, dying. 20s, 20s, 20s. Screams are on the block. I saw Kennedy Davenport at S4. Icon. Before Drag Race? No, it was like, well- What season was she? She was on Y'all's- Seven, yes. Yeah. In All-Stars 3. I saw her probably 2019. Yeah, that was after Drag Race. Yes, and she- Girl, it was-

She's fucking wild. It was everything. And she's the Dallas dancing people of Dallas, Texas. So it was everything. Yes. It was very fun. But it was like I got mobbed. So it was fun. But we had to be like, all right, Kennedy. OK, now we're going to go. Yeah. Because it I mean, and drunk gays.

- I love the drunk gays, but oh my God, girl, I'm trying to have fun and you're like breathing in my mouth hole. - Yeah, yeah. - Can we take a picture? Here's follow me on Instagram and I'm drunk so I'm giving my phone out. I follow so many just random texting gays on my Instagram and I'm sure to this day they're like, you know she follows me on Instagram. I don't remember who you are. - It's in their bio. - When people tell me to follow them. - For what?

People go, you should follow me. I've had people on Grindr go, you should follow me. And I say nothing. And then a day later, they're like, question mark. I'm like, yeah, I'm not following you. I don't understand why though. Get real. Why would I want to? Oh, because of the cultural cred to your friends and stuff, right? Or whatever. Fucking Britney follows me. Got it. I guess. Yeah, acting like we're besties or something. It's like, I don't know you, girl. Well, I've been the biggest wingman.

Like, you know, P-Town, have you ever been to Provincetown, Massachusetts? It's a gay resort town on the coast. You would love it. It's fabulous, yeah. And the amount of times that I've told people that they've gotten laid because they've been wearing my shirt. Uh-uh. I mean, so many times. Was the person also hot? Huh? Not necessarily. Yeah.

No, to all types though. How gross? Like twinks, bear, you know, all the whole spectrum of gay. Yeah, honestly. If it's a good like icebreaker at least. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Like that's always been, dozens of times honestly. I think that's so cool. That's worth it. Better than my technique which is standing in the middle of the gay bar holding my soft dick going. Someone. It can't get hard. Somebody. It can't get hard unless you hit me. Yeah.

Yeah. I love that you're 23. That's cool. You're 23. Talk about that. How did you do it? You're a kombucha girl. Tell me about it. I'm all right. I'm okay. But I imagine that because of the viral nature of your fame, I bet people...

feel like they could cross boundaries with you that they perhaps wouldn't with Julia Roberts, let's say. Oh, absolutely. Well, I had an academic intellectual discourse on my Instagram the other day about I'm not respected as not only a comedian, not only as a woman, but just as a person because I'm an internet person.

And I'm sure y'all feel that a little bit too. Are you kidding me? Well, because you're recognized professionally for what you do because you are professionals at what you do. But it's like, it's a joke. Like your profession is, you know, to a certain extent, a joke and so is mine. So it's like that respect that I think that I deserve as a human being, I'm not afforded.

So like when people message me, hey, you fat bitch. Mortgage lending is not a joke. And I accept your apology. And I said, will you come on the pod today? Yes. And you said, yes, you fat bitch. I don't know why you messaged me from user 4050609 though. Well, that's my main account. Trixie Mattel is my burner. Also, I'm a little resentful. Mortgage lending is not a joke. I never said it was, girl. You're taking words out of my mouth.

- You know I used to work in insurance. - Did you really? - I worked at an insurance brokerage. - Get out of town. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I worked at a bank for a while. Did you have to wear like nylons? - Yes, business casual. - But just nylons. - No top. - Which is such a good look. - No top, just nipple piercings. - And oh my God.

Do you, is it, could you to like, for whatever reason, if you decided to just like ditch the whole like internet comedy thing, YouTube, everything, could you go back to some kind of professional anonymous life and find some kind of fulfillment? I'd kill myself. No, tell them the story. I could. Tell them the story. Did you hear my throat just now? Yeah, it was horrible. You make so many horrible sounds when you come back. She comes to my house and she belches like she lives here. I love that. And you know how I feel about body noises. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Your editor, he says shit up. Oh, they love it. And I always, they never cut it out. Tell them the story of what they said to you at work when you got accidentally internet famous. Oh, well, I approached my boss and I was like, sweet 59 year old Southern lady. Um, didn't know what YouTube was. And I was like, okay, I'm safe. I brought it to her and I was like, this is me. It's like Pornhub. She's like, oh, she's like, God, I got it. Um,

I was like, this is me as the meme. I created this, but people are taking it and making other memes out of it. So when you see me, when I ate ass for the first time, it's not little Christian girl, me, it's somebody else. And she was like, no, that's actually, I can understand. That's a really good, helpful in explanation because I could see how that would be misconstrued. Sure. That it's me posting all that. Yeah. And so I told her and she was like, Oh,

And then a few weeks later, she brought me in and she was like, you need to decide if you want to be a corporate professional and keep paying your rent or you want to be or eat ass and me when I taste had come for the first time on the internet. And I was like, well, girl, of course I'm gonna be a corporate professional. But a few weeks later, she was like, I found your YouTube, your TikTok, your Instagram, your Twitter, your Snapchat. She found everything. She was Miss Sleuth.

And, yes. What's her name? Nancy. Grace. Nancy Grace. Nancy Grace. I found your Snapchat. Mutilated. Bodies mutilated. And it was humiliating because I was posting makeup tutorials at the time and I was, you know, and she was like, you use very nasty language. It was humiliating.

my boss talking to me like that and I was like okay and then a few days later I got fired she was like but she put the reason as I was on my phone too much which technically she's absolutely right you're on everybody's phone too much exactly and she was punishing me for it but um yeah a week later I got my first brand deal and it's been you know like this ever since so fuck you Nancy I was I was fired from Mac and then whenever I would go back to Milwaukee I would go back to that Mac store and I would

Big mistake. You buy so much shit. Oh, I was going to say, just browsing. No, I would buy a lot, and I would buy a lot from every single person I worked with separately, so they all had good sales. That's nice. But I was like, I could buy, you know, I could afford makeup now, so there. Why'd you get fired? They thought I was stealing. Same for me, and I wasn't. I went on a steal later, but yeah, it's horrible. You've been falsely accused of something, it's very frustrating. Oh, yeah. I just think it's funny that they said,

Frankly, I also think it's a little anti-women. You have to imagine if what happened to you happened to a man at that company, I don't think the fallout would have been as swift. You need to be a corporate professional with no sense of humor or delete your accounts. That's crazy. It is crazy. And it's an invasion of my privacy. Yes. It's your personal life. But I'm not going to go up to my boss and be like, fuck you. You're crossing the line between professional and personal. I literally was like, I have to pay my rent. I'll do whatever I have to do.

But you're very right. If it would have been a funny man and he could have little, you know, witty charisma chatted his way out of it, that would have been a totally different thing. They would have used him to promote bank probably. Yeah. We know, Karen from finance had a deal where she was the face of like Australian bank during pride month. See, that's hilarious. And like, so smart, but it's like, she's so ugly.

I hope an insurance company scoops you up sometimes and you're like, listen, I've worked in insurance. I can tell you exactly how this goes. Liberty Mutual. Are you hearing this? Yeah. My contact info is Liberina. We are ending towards the end of the podcast. I thought I would give you guys a moment to talk about Bimini. Yeah. Okay. I need to ask you. I need to know.

Do you know about Bimini Bond Boulash? Have you heard the good news? It's Bimini Bond Boulash, babes. You know what I mean? Two Bonds and the Bimini don't make a Boulash, but guess what?

If you make a goulash. I fucking, so my appreciation for her started out as a joke. Really? Explain. Not as a joke. It only, it was shallow appreciation because I said, Bibbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bobbidi-bob

And then over the weeks, I'm like, I fucking love her. And now I'm obsessed with her. Oh, no. For me, I was like, oh, she's going home. When I saw the tape, when I saw her fucking tuck tape on the first episode and I was like, really, girl? It's RuPaul's Drag Race. Put your fucking tuck away. And then it was like that was her one blip and it has been just uphill ever since. And it is so, oh, my God. I'm thinking about all of her individual looks. I think she's safe every week.

And I think that's her secret weapon because she's about to pull it out, bitch. Her amoeba look when she came out with those white contact lenses. Speaking of safe, did you just see the safety pin wig she just put? It's incredible. 10,000 safety pins. Safety pin wig? Yeah, it's an

It's so fierce. She's such a visionary. She's so great. And she's not pretentious. She's not, she's not trying to pedal catchphrases. She's not, she just like being herself and like, and vibing. She's vibing. She's good vibes only. She's bobbing. She's bobbing vibes. Yeah. No, literally. I feel like that's a, that's a perfect explanation is she is so, uh,

for the art form. It is an art to her and it's very evident. But it's not like her art. No, no, no, no. You know. And it's very much, I mean, you can tell that she loves it. She loves the dancing and the rapping and the,

Release the beast. Yeah. She's silly. Silly me. Son. Sue lash. And she's going to women in one. Woo lash to the end. Yeah. I hope you get to judge drag race someday. Oh, they would be so great. Challenge or something. Some kind of like mini challenge for socials or something. Like creating social content. How fun. Yeah. Yeah. You'd be great on the judging panel. If you did UK, would you do an accent? Um, I would come in full Adele cosplay. Oh, that would be great. Just please don't say hello. Yeah.

My God. Do you think British people love it when RuPaul does like these super crazy like. I think they're giggling and Googling because they don't want to be sent home.

When she comes in and says, hello, governor. When he walks in and is like, hello, mate. Are they like, ha, ha, ha, ha? It's still funny after all these episodes. I'm telling you, I know for a fact it is the, I'm trying to think of the American equivalent. Is it like when Michelle wears Union Jack earrings? No, no, no. It's way worse than that. It's way worse than that. I love you, Michelle, but it is crazy. When Michelle walks into Big Brother UK and she's basically in a Jerry Spice dress. Yes, yes. With Union Jack. Talking about sausage rolls and the tube. Yes, yes.

She's like, Primark, the tube, sausage rolls. Yeah, it's like, okay. But Rue doesn't know anything. And then that's one phrase. One phrase, that's like... But you know what's so funny is like, to say that, but like, they know more than...

Rue and Michelle combined know more about British culture than fucking I do. And that's like supposed to be my thing. They're talking about in 1981, do you remember this chart topper of the UK? I'm like, well, yeah, I mean, Rue is Raymond with, with pop music. She'll tell you what chart at the top, whatever. I try to think of like, do you get offended when people do like a country accent? No, I mean, you're not country. I'm not Southern, but that's Derek. But I mean,

I mean, I guess. When I watched Barb and Star, I was like, these aren't Midwest accents. I didn't think they were good. Do you get offended when adults walk in with shitty diapers? Well, see, that's my culture.

What would offend you? We can't get offended by nothing. Come on. No, I can't truly get offended. Imagine if Alan Carr came here and he walked up to tables at an American drag race with a bag of McDonald's and a gun. Yeah, yeah. Hello? Yeah, yeah. I'm uneducated and hate people. That would be like, okay. Y'all about to be racist and y'all ready for a deeply divided economy built so that the rich can stay completely separated from the poor? Yeah. Everybody like a broken system? Say yeah. Yeah.

Amen. Who's getting ready to gentrify? You had those locked and loaded. You've been waiting to say that, rehearsing it in the mirror. Just all the things I hate about America that I think about a lot. Yes. I have a couple more questions before you go. Thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. All the way down the street. It took so long to get here.

Who are your beauty icons? Who just makes you want to get up and do the thing? To do the damn thing, Dolly, Amy Winehouse. Dolly Levi? With this. Or Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton. Okay. Dolly the sheep, actually. The genetically engineered sheep. Yes, the cloned sheep. That's your drag name, Dolly the genetically engineered sheep. Sexy and scientific baby. Yes. You want to shear this pussy? You want to shear this pussy? Yes.

Like, mom, I'm so sorry if you're listening. Oh, please. We said it, not her. Yeah. She was horrified. But yes, I love, you know what my, how about this, Gaggiana. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry, the police just arrived. Federal prison. Yeah, federal prison. A beauty mark. I love a beauty mark. I love a boop, boop, boop. I think it's so cute. And I love when queens incorporate that into their look. It's like, yes, because it's art, but it's also like a real face. Yeah. A mole or a freckle. I learned from, this is not a read, Shay used to have difficult like,

when we were doing drag and she taught me when you have like a pimple, you just put like a little, now it's a birthmark in drag. I was like, oh my God. I love it. I love it. I love it. I just put my rosacea. I just make it like a port wine stain. Oh, I wanted to ask you this earlier. Is it rosacea or is it psoriasis or eczema? It's psoriasis. Okay. Cause I have eczema.

yeah i i family genes actually when i was fired um the only time i had it was just coming from the dermatologist and i they it was psoriasis i was shocked though because usually psoriasis is pretty like it's a nuisance to say the least but i have a it's light it's just tim kardashian has psoriasis i know i learned that yesterday how about that yeah yeah how about that but it's on my face like you you can't see it around my asshole which is fine but like it's all on yeah when it's on my face it's

Girl, over the summer I had acute dyshydotic eczema. Oh, you should kill yourself. How do you

- What is that? - Is it little bubbles? - Yes, ew, how do you know that? - Dishydrated? - Dishydrated, it was these little bubbles on my, trigger warning I guess, on my hands that were, they would explode and they itched and burned like a motherfucker. - I've gotten them before. - Yes, and they, it transfers between fingers. It's fucking disgusting. - Is it like poison ivy kind of or like-- - It's teeny little clear bubbles on your skin. - I'm gonna throw up all over you. - And it's painful and gross. - And they itch.

Yes. Your shirt's on poison ivy. No, it was a cute dyshydotic eczema and I had an ointment. You itch them, they pop and then they sting. Perfect. And they spread. Yes. And I had just fucking worked at the bank. I had just gotten the bank job and I was, hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Band-Aids all over my fucking fingers. With a full set. With a full acrylic set. Looking like goddamn Jason Voorhees going to the mall. And I had served it, girl. Would you fuck Jason Voorhees or Freddy Krueger?

Neither. But do you remember this whole discussion about Ted Bundy being hot? I don't entertain those kind of notions. But Freddy Krueger is fine. They're not real, Mary. Girl. To you.

That's Charles Manson. Charles Manson was kind of cute. Ted Bundy was, I mean, listen. That looks like Bryan Cranston. He was a very attractive person. He couldn't have been that sick of a predator if he wasn't charismatic and predatory and luring people. Like, you can't be that guy from Trailer Park Boys with the big glasses and be like, want to get in my car? No one's going to get in your car, Mary. Speak for yourself. Believe me, I've tried. Yeah.

I also don't have a car. So I'm also inviting people to a car I don't have. Do you want to walk side by side to back to my house where I'll kill you? Yeah. My other question is, when did you know you were beautiful? Well, you've never told me. No, I haven't. I DM'd you.

Hey, fat bitch. Yes, you did. Yes, I did. No, I am. You know what? It's a how about this? It's a gradual learning process because I used to be, you know, in high school, you're a little self-conscious or self-conscious to a certain extent. In college, I really blossomed both like into a woman sexually found out my aesthetic that I was going for.

And then I became a functioning member of society, was miserably depressed, and my self-confidence kind of, mm. But being online now is like, I have so many nice people. Beyond all the hate comments, you know, whatever. I have a lot of nice people, and it makes me feel good. I mean, you know, post a little selfie. It always makes you feel good when they're like, yes! So, yeah, I feel like it has to come from within. Because it does. Because if you listen to whatever...

What are you about to say? No, I was like, of course it does. Well, yeah, because if you're solely relying on the opinions of others for your self-worth, you'll never be satisfied. And I'll leave you with that. Is that something you want? Well, let me tell you, you're never going to get it. It's true. Yeah.

And also, I always rest on like, even super hot people think they're like horribly fat and ugly and whatever. You know, the grass is never green. No. Grass ain't green anywhere. It's dead. It just looks green from the other side. Dead and brown and I had shitted on it. Yeah, exactly. And I'm eating that shit, gobbling it up. Yeah. Looking at the other side. Is it greener over there? Yeah. It's really true. I interviewed Lauren Gray. If y'all know who Lauren Gray is.

Nope. Grey's Anatomy? No. Close. She's a really young TikToker. She was on Musical.ly. Like, think of, like, the beauty standard. It's Lauren Grey. And I talked to her and I was like, what's the hardest part of, you know, your day? Of what you do in a day? And she was, like, waking up and, like, seeing myself in the mirror.

Like the most beautiful person you can think of. She was like, I pick myself apart. I hate my nose. I hate my hair. I hate this. And I'm like, Lauren Gray, you're beautiful. It's so like, I don't want to say comforting, but it's validating to a certain extent to hear some of the most beautiful people be like, God, I wish I could change everything. You know, like to what? To what? From what? Yeah. Well, they need to discover plastic surgery. Well, we're in the hotspot.

You think I'm not getting Botox the minute I turn 25. It's like sometimes that we talk about like the impossible ideals, but the fact that the ideals are impossible should also just be sort of like you said, reassuring. Yeah. I mean, I love...

I really appreciate being like sort of inhabiting various parts of the middle realm. You know what I mean? I just don't care. Middle Earth. Yeah, Middle Earth. Sorry, yeah. Hobbit land. Looking like an orc is very comforting to me because... That's a fetish. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Also... Ugh. Ugh.

Well, it's like we have our worst selves and especially doing drag and hair and makeup and stuff. We have our best selves. Yeah. And we know that the truth is somewhere in the middle. Right. We know we have access to like... Because when you work in makeup or you're a performer, if you've ever played any kind of character, then you're not a fucking like knuckle dragging dummy. You know that it's all just an illusion and whatever. You can't get it. And it's also changing. Absolutely. I can look like the cat's ass today and look semi-fuckable tomorrow. Well, and...

Well, even with beauty standards, if you want to talk about like in the 50s, Marilyn Monroe, and then in the 90s, it was boy body, you know, like supermodel boy body. And then now it's Kim Kardashian. It's like it'll always ebb and flow. So I don't know. I feel really bad for these young, like I see on TikTok all the time, 17, 18 year olds getting Brazilian butt lifts. Jesus fucking Christ. And like literally getting like fat taken out of somewhere and putting it into the sides of their hips. They need to put it in their neck.

Ham hock. Support your head. Ham hock neck. Every necklace can become a choker. Thank you. You know, the less distance there is from your chin to your shoulders, the happier you'll be, mama. Says who? Me. And science. Hello. We're reassuring.

We're changing the beauty standard. One. There's an unrealistic beauty standard. Yeah. Having a neck like a tire. One stump at a time. Yeah. Yeah. Scarves. Skin scarves, mama. Skin scarves. Okay. Love yourselves. Brittany, where can people find you? You can find me at Brittany underscore Broski. Would you please spell that? B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y underscore B-R-O-S-K-I. You sure can. And you can check out your new podcast, The Official TikTok Podcast. Yes, please check out.

Check out, it's called the For You Podcast, the official TikTok podcast. We interview guests every week talking about their experiences on TikTok, how it's affecting change, affecting culture. And it's a good old time. Come check us out. Will you please have the Dream Team on in Russia? No. Okay.

What type of content do they make? Can you describe it in two words? Hit song. Hit song. I'll play it for you. It's a fucking bop. Really? Yes. They make music? Yes. No, mama. Hit song. Okay, period. Okay, yeah. A song to get hit to. Yeah. It's called Partying Wildly. Absolutely. Okay. Brittany, I love you. Oh!

You're one of my best friends. Isn't that sad? It's not. My heart still flutters a little bit when you text me, hey, bitch. She's like, what are you doing, bitch? I'll be like, what are you doing right now, cunt? Like, I'm naked in my bed crying. Get those claws out of your pussy and come over here and hang out. I'll text her a drop of a hat like, can we just go out right now? And she's like, I'm literally in the middle of working. And I'm like, ugh, you never make an effort. Click.

If I get the whim to go out and she doesn't say yes, I'm like, this fucking friendship is so one-sided. Ah!

Will the abuse ever stop? No. No, it won't. Thank God. Stay tuned. Goodbye. Bye.