drunk episode
55:35 Share

Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, small more. Hello, guys. Merry Christmas. Guys, it's our episode. It's the big Christmas finale. No, it's not. What is it? We just did that. Oh. It's your birthday episode. Oh, it's my birthday, guys. I try to act like that.

Doesn't exist. I like actually literally hate attention on my birthday. It freaks me the fuck out. Like I've always found it embarrassing. If you can go to anybody I went to school with, I never made a like a big fuss about my birthday. I never told anybody it was my birthday. But then it was even more sad because people would like through the day, like at least one teacher would be like, oh, it's Enya's birthday. And then everybody would turn to me and be like, why didn't you say that? Like, you're so weird. And then they'd like,

over shower me and compliments and nice things for my birthday and i would get so uncomfortable and i'd be like i literally avoided this so hard and now you're like forcing me into celebrating in front of everybody and i feel really uncomfortable you're gonna feel really terrible when no one comments happy birthday on your ig post so i'll be happy you know what's also crazy i post on my birthday every single year and i don't want to do it but i feel like i've kept up this like

like tradition that I know when I'm older I'm gonna look back and be like oh all my little birthday posts so I feel like I have to do it but every time I do it I literally feel sick I feel like for me birthdays are like the one time of year I'm actually noticed like no one really sees me I don't think that's beyond my birthday so when I do get that birthday attention I savor it and it lasts me an entire year but it's split in half because of my dumb ass twin sister oh

- Oh, that is pretty annoying actually. - So yeah, but yeah, I love my birthday. - I have a sister. - And I'm turning 18. - I know, Drew's like, I think I-- - Cheers! - Are we doing the birthday shot? - I don't know if we're allowed, we have to blur me taking the shot just 'cause like it's literally illegal. - Yeah, Kai's taking it with us so we're gonna. - Cheers to Kai, cheers. - Kai turned 30 this year, Kai. - No, I don't. Oh.

Fuck, that's so gross. That's like two years old. Like that's literally two years old. Is it alcoholic shelf stable? Oh my God. Cream soda Faygo. I like, I kind of do. It's going to be so gross, but I'll take some. Oh my God. Um, the cameras and audio, I don't know if they were rolling, but earlier Kai said, I love like drinking cause it's like a Pavlovian.

response because he knows he's gonna feel normal and I don't think that is normal that's okay I'm like oh I'll feel happy I'll side with you it's fun I feel you bro it's awesome I already have no social cues and then when I drink they go even further down the gutter and then I always wake up and I'm like oh my god I spoke way too much and I said way too much about myself and I'm really scared and nobody even remembers because everybody else was drunk so it's okay also well happy birthday

Thank you. While we were in Big Bear, we all like every time we go to Big Bear. So we do like a secret Santa like friends Christmas every year. And last year, this kind of started trickling in like this vibe of nobody really wanting to drink. Like, and we're all realizing we're just getting to the age that getting like, completely fucked up is not as fun because we're all like,

We're going to have to do stuff. We have to wake up tomorrow. And that sounds so painful. And I'm not kidding. We all went to the liquor store. We got our alcohol. And we were like, yes, tonight we're going to get fucked up. We got back to the house. And two hours had passed. And we all, for the two hours, were like, all right, let's take a shot. Let's take a shot. And then three people would stand up. And then the rest of us would be like, no, I really don't want to. And we would all stand around. And it took three hours for us, finally, to get alcohol in our systems. And it was really jarring. Because I was like, wow, we are...

We are aging. We are fully grown adults now. There's no denying it. And the idea of getting blasted for no reason. I'm trying to get blasted for no reason. Period. Well, you have Drew, so...

Oh, yeah. Well, there's always reasons. It's true. Thank you. Okay. So to start off this episode, Enya's birthday extravaganza, I wanted to talk about the girl that faked that she could only walk normal backwards. Wait, that's not a thing. Do you want to know about her? That's not a thing.

thing yes I thought you were gonna like describe gypsy rose for a second but the girl who said she could only walk backwards no that's a that's a literal real thing like a girl like was she acting like her legs were turned backwards or like she like her parents taught her how to walk backwards also brilliant idea I'm doing that with my kid she had like I'm telling my kid they can only crawl

That is a genius idea. No, she had this like disorder that she made up after she got a vaccine where she like would speak in a British accent. It's in after she got a flu shot and it's called dystonia. And then she got like a news story for her name is like Desiree Jennings or something like that, which sounds made up.

But she like, and it could not be that girl. But I know for a fact there was a girl who had a full on news story where she would like run forward or she would start off walking backwards and then she'd turn around and try to run. And then she just fully faked like she had this like muscle disorder.

that like she would like shake a bunch. I remember this. It came out as it was all fake. There was like a news. This was like decades ago. Wasn't it like in Australia or something? Probably. It was. Or maybe she just had an Australian accent. That's what it was. But it was like probably 10 or 12 years ago. Wait, so they found out she was

lying or what yeah yeah yeah they came out that she was faking the whole time and everyone in the and i believe that i was like okay wait did she do this in her social circles or only on camera because like everyone everyone she was she only did it on camera like she had real g's behind her because like i would have snitched immediately like i literally would have been like bitch i would have recorded her the instant i saw her walking around be like bitch this bitch is a liar like fuck

her I want her dead no yeah it was it was like this big thing where she just faked walking backwards for like a year or two of her life also for what

because I mean she got on the news she probably made a fucking bag dude while she was doing it it didn't come out until like years later that it wasn't real because all these doctors were like bro that's not how dystonia works like why are you claiming that you did that from a flu shot also dystonia sounds like a playboy cardi album like dystonia doesn't sound like a real thing narcissist I'm a narcissist um but yeah I just wanted to briefly touch on her uh because you want to touch on her and if you get the chance why briefly you know you know what I mean

you're ready it's oh oh he's hitting yeah he's hitting his head against the wall stupid i'm stupid i'm stupid true calm down those are my favorite fucking videos when the girl catches the guy for cheating and you're like i'm fucking stupid i'm fucking stupid don't leave me i'm fucking stupid i'm stupid i'm stupid i'm stupid i'm stupid i'm stupid like at that point why not just take it to the chest and be like yeah bitch fuck you like fuck

If somebody put a camera on me in a moment like that, I think I would turn into the evilest person ever. I'd be like, and your pussy stinks. Now what? Now what? I would literally become the worst person ever. I wrote a note down in the car where I just thought about any time... This isn't specifically you, but there have been a couple times where I'm just like, holy shit, Inya can turn on a switch and say the meanest thing possible in a funny way.

And I was just thinking about like times that's happened. And I wrote down something that you would say and you tell me if you would say it or not. Okay. This isn't helping my bitch rumors. My bitch allegations. No, no, no. It's like always funny. Oh no, for my birthday, let's call me a bitch. Like I'm a fucking bitch. It's never, never not funny. Oh my God. Like literally everyone. Well,

What I will say is I'm good at, like, holding my tongue. Like, there are moments where, like, I'll be in, like, a funny catty back and forth with somebody, and I'll think of something that's literally not funny that's just mean, and I will hold it back. Like, I literally did to Josiah. Yeah.

in front of Josh and Christian and Lucas while we were in Big Bear and he said something to me that actually pissed me off and I thought of the meanest thing I could think of and then he walked away and I told Josh and like Drew or Josh and Christian and we were all cracking up we were like yeah we don't need to say that to him and then he came back and he was like what did y'all say and I was like oh I just like made something up but he was like that's stupid and left and I was like okay I'm gonna let him think he won Josiah started getting catty this weekend Josiah is a catty girl Josiah literally will say the card

the craziest shade I'm like hello okay so this is what I have I hope your cock falls off and you slip in the blood and crack your head open and you never fully recover so your parents have to feed and bathe you like a baby until you rot away and then yeah yeah I literally said something like that recently we're gonna have to bleep this because it's like too specific but I literally to Ryan I was like yeah I hope

We don't have to bleep that. Yeah, no, we must. It's only suspect if we bleep it. No, let it be suspect. We have to bleep and blur my mouth because I'm like actually terrified. I feel like I'm being like, wait, what was that Demi Lovato movie when she was like in a Disney movie and she was in secret service? Like she was being protected? I have no idea. Why did they make that? Like, why was she actually being hunted? Like, that's kind of like fearful. Like that struck fear into me. Dude, it's a...

That was actually like so loud. That felt like I was watching a commercial. That was perfect. Like that was. It's the drunk episode. Hey party. Kai's already three white claws deep. We're all drunk except Drew because Drew's better than us I guess. No I have a shot in me. Yeah but that doesn't make you like drunk my love. Like. Okay. Should we force him to drink alcohol? Like you should drink more. We're not going to

let you drive home until you drink you don't want me to be drunk no that's gross don't do that you don't want me to be drunk you want to see me fucking drunk it was supposed to be like a fun thing and now you're just gonna oh my god okay stop stop jesus christ okay now stop you should actually grab it because that's this is why you're not allowed to fucking drink i need to breathe this is why you're not allowed to drink true oh my fucking god yeah what are you doing stop like does that not taste bad like stop it

Fuck you. But that was only like 18 shots. Like you're going to die. He drank like a third of the bottle. And y'all are bitches. And like, you probably couldn't even drink a fifth of the bottle. Why would we want to drink a fifth of a bottle? Because it's fucking lit. I would want to drink a fifth of a bottle. I guess a fifth of a bottle isn't that much. I agree with you guys. I'm not going to be that liar. Like, I don't want to be like left out. Should we do this?

On you or me? I don't know. We have a BAC reader. I am like actually a little drunk off that shot.

Like, actually. Should I do it on myself? Okay, to prove that we are drinking... I don't know why we're doing this, honestly. I just thought it'd be fun. I've never had this. I was honestly high as fuck on Amazon, and I found a breathalyzer, and I keep watching videos of people getting pulled over and, like, hitting a breathalyzer. And I saw this girl who they were, like... They were, like, hit it, hit it. And she kept sucking on it, and, like... Oh, I saw that one, yeah. She kept sucking on it like it was a fucking, like, box mod vape. And...

And they were just like, "No, blow on it. Blow." And we were gonna do a whole bit, but now we're-- Dude, it smells-- it actually smells like cream pie. Like... Okay, I'm gonna do this while you do that. I just relapsed, yo. I just relapsed. This is my new vape. Dude, oh my god, it feels like I'm in a fucking hookah lounge.

I'm sure a lot of y'all have noticed we don't have many ads anymore. And you're probably thinking, wow, oh my God, I feel so bad for them. They deserve ads. But we're doing our job. You're not doing your job. You need to fucking subscribe and engage with me or I will never do my job again. I can't believe I miss reading ads. I miss the taste. Okay, I'm going to do this. Okay, let's see what we read, guys. I'm actually scared. A .11? Is that...

- I don't know, what does that mean? - I don't know what the legal limit is because like, the thing is, a bitch like me, I will always take that fucking Uber. Like, you're weird as fuck if you get in your car, like, after you drink. - Wait, how do you-- - That's just me. Motherfucker, hello? It's just showing off 'cause it's the highest it's ever read. - 0.11. Oh, legal limit is 0.08. - Damn, bitch, so I'd be going to jail. Rightfully so. Oh, it's saying 20 seconds. There's no way that's real.

Okay, actually, how do they expect anybody to blow in this for this long? Like, I'm genuinely shocked. You're going to have the most accurate. Oh, I'm like so lightheaded. I literally can't do that again. That's okay. Oh, wait, I think I changed the mode. Like, why is it doing that? Well, I want to see what my reading is.

That's what I would do if the cops gave this to me. I'd be like, here, let me fix this. Let me fix this because I should be blowing. I'd be like, this is weird. It should be blowing triple zeros and I don't know why it's doing that right now. Have I told this story on the podcast of when I blew triple zeros and the cops tried to... Go. I just thought of somebody doing this and being drunk as fuck behind the wheel and fainting after doing it because you have to put so much... I know. Where are they going to put your faint body in jail?

Okay, so I am perfectly the legal limit. Yeah, I guess. But that is crazy. You only took a shot and that's where you're at. It is insane how much it like differs from person to person. Yeah. Imagine you post a baby picture and it flops. Like your baby's born and you post it on your IG and it just flops down.

Dude, imagine you make an IG account for your baby and it flops. It gets 200 followers. That's so embarrassing. Would you tell your baby? Would you be like, hey, when they're eight, would you be like, hey, by the way, I made you an IG when you were two and nobody gave a fuck. And you just weren't cute enough. Yeah, nobody gave a fuck. You didn't laugh enough on IG. You were really ugly. You didn't have the

Gerber laugh so nobody fucked with you I genuinely think if I did anything other than weed I would die like I can barely handle weed like I I always think speaking of my birthday I always think of last year on my birthday when I got so high and like my tolerance was still really low last year um and I got so high that I felt the effects of where I was like I literally this has to be

so similar to what psychedelics do to the average person because I felt so like intimately connected to everybody around me and when we were at that dinner like and we were on the drive home and listening to gentle on my mind I felt so emotional and I was just like sobbing in the car and I got upstairs and I was like just sobbing in the house and I always think about that because I'm like that is proof enough that I don't need to do a psychedelic or anything other than weed because I think I would like actually like

I genuinely think I would overtake the world like I would like unlock something like so deep that no human needs to like have um and yeah that's my birthday memory and I don't know what we're gonna do this year it's probably not gonna live up to that honestly because nobody gives a fuck about me I also saw an article that was like oh people born in January like don't get enough love for their birthday and I agree with I saw that you don't get enough gifts nobody gives a

I get you a gift every year. And I damn well near think I got you the best gift, if not the best gift this year you ever got. You did. And I still think about, like, I feel so bad about my reaction. But it literally hurt me so fucking bad. So we went to Big Bear, we did our Secret Santa, and Josh got me a Nike tech set, which I've been wanting for so long. Can I tell you a secret? What? Oh, of course. Yeah, I don't think I've ever mentioned that to him, but...

He got me a Nike tech set and I was so shocked by it that I literally was like gas and screamed. And it's a sick ass tech suit. And also once I put it on, something unlocked in me and I danced all fucking night in that damn tech set and I felt amazing. And Drew got me a black doll that looks like me and it is awesome. I got it custom made. To be fair, I have 10 times more photos of that than I do of my tech set. It's already your iPhone background. Yeah, it literally is my background.

You have a video of you in the tech set dancing around. Yeah, but that's also because that was the first time I got drunk with friends in so long. But my background is my Blythe doll that looks like me and I love her so much. Doesn't it look just like her, Kai? Yeah, it's in the room, right? Oh, you saw it? Oh, it's on my...

Yeah, it was maybe the best gift I've ever gotten. You know, and it was so fucking expensive. Really? The girl was lit. Like she like walked me through the whole process. Like the tattoo makes it everything because that was the other thing is I was thinking about it because I was like talking to Ryan. I was like, I feel bad that my reaction wasn't as like vibrant. But once I like

put her in the other dress and saw her tattoos and cut her bangs i was like oh my god this is so weird it's literally a little me and then i put her up on the window for the rest of the big bear trip she was sitting in the sun she was hanging out with us i put her to bed i have a video of me putting her to bed i didn't close her eyes so she looks really scary in that video and i won't post it but i love that doll so much and it sits above my bed but i literally want to like

I want to get into crazy like I want to get her like boots I literally ordered a dress that looks like her dress so I could take a picture with her like I like literally want like a cunty blithe doll for me not of myself but I want to get one that I can sound really scary no they should not exist they don't sound like a vibe like boys playing with dolls I made dolls of both of you guys what what what do you do with them they're just for me though like for you how

They're just for me. Like to look at or... I don't want to talk about that, but I just wanted to share because it's topical. You made a doll for Enya and I made a doll for all of us. If you're not going to give detail, why bring it up? It doesn't matter what I do with the dolls or where we go. If you're already having sex with Drew, you don't have to have a doll with him. You bring the dolls with you? Wait, you bring them places? Yeah, we go on trips and shit, but again, it doesn't matter. I was just saying like, oh, I also made a doll of you guys.

And it's like photorealistic of both your eyes. Photorealistic. It's like the scariest doll ever. It's like a latex mask over the doll. Oh my god, I forgot about what I got Josh. I'm gonna go get it. He has to go get it from the car. I told him he didn't have to, that he wants to. But I got Josh a goaded fucking gift. I literally am drunk enough that I don't know what you got him right now. When you see it, you're gonna be gagged. But let's just say like...

I love the people in my life. And I remember everything they say to me. And...

I just hold the relationships I have very close to my heart and everybody is special to me. Kai, Inya, a little less than everybody else, but I love y'all still. Wait, both of us? Both of us are. Yeah, just... That's weird. Honestly, I'll take it though. No, no, you are. I know, if you're on my level, then like you're pretty up there. You're just as special to me as every single person in my life. I'm trying to think of what you want. Sorry, can we just pause for a second?

Also, like, I literally keep thinking about in Big Bear, like, we all did this thing in the Secret Santa Circle where we were like, okay, everybody close your eyes and the person who got you the gift will just get up and we went in a circle. Oh, you did get the best gift. I got the best gift. I got a doll. Oh, you showed me a photo of it. Wait, can I see it? That is so sick. I got a doll made of Josh J Gangster.

Oh, it's so good. That is so sick. It is really good. Also, Josh had, oh, um, please turn because your chair is stuck to you right now.

I saw a TikTok of somebody who stole a bit of the chair from the pop-up and they were like, me when I'm spending the night with a piece of Drew's chair and it was like, to like the cranberries or something and they were like playing with it in their bed and it was like rolling around. You need to send that to me because that's fucking awesome. Yeah. I also ripped off pieces of the chair and gave it to people. Yeah. But...

But when we were sitting around for Secret Santa, we were like, okay, we're just going to go in like a carousel motion. So nobody knows who got anybody. And when it got to Lucas, I had gotten Lucas that year or this year. And we were all sitting around in my like, I was completely sober. It was like the middle of the afternoon. And everybody was like, who got Lucas? I was just like,

Like looking around, I was like, oh my God, I'm literally brain dead as fuck because we're sitting here. We're all like, who got him? And then I started feeling the feeling of like, oh my God, nobody got Lucas a gift. Meanwhile, I was the one who got him his fucking gifts and he loved it. Did I show you what I got him? It was so good. It was so good. Dude, it's so awesome. It's so like you could get Lucas like a pile of shit with googly eyes on it and he would love it. Like he is so fine. No, but my gift was fantastic.

fucking lit yeah no i wish i had like a a picture of it but i got him an airbrushed um shirt with this on it kitty kitty purr purr which like i don't think he cares about this picture as much as i do oh i think you did show me this yeah i got him like an airbrushed hoodie with that on the front he literally was so happy we'll insert the video of him like literally geeking over it turn it around

And he loved it so much. And what a gorgeous little time. And I love my friends. Yeah, we like kind of just sat inside. We played charades for literally two hours. That was so fucking fun. It was fun as fuck. Like we need to all get together like when we do karaoke night. Maybe for my birthday we play charades again. Have you played charades, Kai?

Yes, I played charades. Okay, cuz we all need to play that cuz it's fun. It's like it's crazy. No, we were. We've seen every generation of iPhone come out. That's so sick. Oh my god. God.

I love how you believed that, too. You said it and you were like, I got his ass. I got his old, dusty ass. Stop! You're old and dusty, bitch. Bitch, I owned an iPod Touch. It was still called Touch because that was amazing. Like, that you could touch the screen. Oh, remember when people called it iTouch? No. No. Oh. Yeah, never mind. That must have been a NorCal thing or something. But for...

Well, did y'all have the emoji app before you could text emojis? And I just had an app of the emojis and I would scroll through it and look at it because I love collecting little things. And.

and I love that goddamn app. Someone out there knows what I'm talking about. Yeah, I don't know about that one. I didn't have texting, so I just would look at the emojis. Oh, yeah, I had an iPod Touch, but my phone for a long time, I had an Android. Like, I had a Samsung phone, and that's why, like, on my phone now, I still like to swipe to text and have that, especially when I have nails, because I used to have Samsung phones, like, in high school. You had an Android? Green text, green text. Wow.

Oh, did you know they're getting rid of green text, basically? Oh, yeah. I didn't see that. Yeah, they're all getting...

yeah like you you're gonna be able to read classism guys i know you're gonna be able to read like you better kiss classism goodbye we fixed it we fixed it we have solved everything we're watching this show called the trust and a kid got on there and was like i'm a millionaire and uh then like kind of was victimizing himself for being a millionaire but he was also really drunk craziest vibe i've ever seen like okay we shouldn't spoil it yeah i don't

I won't spoil it. We'll tell you after or we'll show you the scene after. But it is, Kai, like, it is literally like you could have written that into a comedy sketch because he said exactly what you should not say to somebody who didn't come from money. It was insane. Like, he literally said to her, like, I never had to steal. I can't relate to you. I can't relate to you at all. Dude, it was crazy. It was so bad. Have you guys watched The Jinx? No. No.

Is that reality TV or? It's really good. Fuck, I want to spoil it. Basically, it's about like this guy, like whether or not he murdered someone and it all leads up to this episode where at the end he goes to the bathroom and he's like, yeah, I fucking murdered that bitch. Oh, I saw that. You saw it, right? I've seen that clip. Dude, he killed someone and then he thought his...

He didn't know his microphone was still on after doing this interview saying he didn't kill him and he was peeing in the bathroom and was like, yeah, I fucking murdered. Yeah, it's real. And he's like, yeah, I fucking murdered that bitch. They're all dead. Blah, blah, blah. He was mumbling to himself while peeing. It's an entire documentary where they're trying to catch him and then on the last week where they're filming it, his love is on and he goes to the bathroom and he admits to everything in a weird schizophrenic rant. Yeah, it was...

It was so crazy. It is so fucking awesome. Dude, he was so hyped on himself. He had to talk to himself about it. He was like, did nobody fucking believe that? Which is also what I think is funny. No, he was saying like, oh, they all know. They all know. Yeah, yeah. And what I love is like,

that's kind of relatable i feel like i've talked to myself when i thought i was alone and like admitted shit yeah it's just like i don't know it's such like a funny dude it was so weird last time kai thought he was alone and i was standing outside the bathroom and he said i fucking love drew i love him and i was like kai like you love me it's purely a sex like i have love for you and i love you like as a friend but like you love me well it's not

You heard it, but it was through the wall. I said, I love Drew's hole. I don't think so. I feel like you would have picked up on that if that's what he said. I don't know, man. It just sounded like he said he loved me. Also, that just reminded me. I've like, okay. He caught feelings. It's easy to catch feelings with me. It's easy to catch feelings, not flights or catch flights, not feelings. I just know it's bubblegum pink. Ew, motherfucker. What was my response to that? What was my, how would we know?

Oh, yeah. What's the lean one? We can reset. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Catch feelings, not flights. Or fuck. Catch flights, not feelings. I just know it's bubblegum pink. No, it's purple like lean. Whoa.

Well, today at the gym, I was watching this video and I try not to watch like murder investigations anymore because I think they're so bad for you. And like, it does make me feel a little weird because I'm like, somebody literally died in this, but I like watch them. But I was watching one today that actually like I couldn't believe this man killed his grandpa. And then the he called the police. He was like, oh, it's a veteran. Like,

He's my grandpa. It was in self-defense, whatever. And the police kind of believed him because they were like, oh, okay. He probably had a PTSD freakout, whatever. Bitch, he pulled his grandpa's ears out of his pockets. He literally was like... They were like, and where's your uncle? And he was like, oh, my uncle? Where's my uncle? And he pulled out his grandpa's ear and the police officers looked over and they were like,

Oh, can we take a picture of that? And he literally held out his grandpa's ears like he was like doing like an ASMR, like a makeup tutorial. Like he literally held him out and was like, yeah, it's my grandpa's ears. And that freaked me out because I was like, damn, I feel like I've watched a lot of like crazy shit. But for somebody to pull someone's ears out like a bitch, that was fucking crazy. And then I just ran to a song I really liked as if nothing happened. Yeah, it's like you falling asleep to someone being beheaded like crazy.

It's crazy. I actually did like finally finish the murder investigation. Stop, motherfucker. I believe you. I am so embarrassed at the idea that I am like drunk on camera right now because every time I wake up from being drunk, I'm like, oh my God, what if I slurred my words a little bit? And I'm so scared that I'm slurring right now and that I'm going to have to wake up and listen to this and it's freaking me the fuck out. Should I tell the about the Tom Holland bit I did? No.

I hated that. Okay.

Okay, so we went to a diner after throwing axes. Dude, I can't wait to like throw the video up on Zoom because you could see me thinking. Like, I don't think I've ever blinked that hard in my life. Yeah, so we went axe throwing and then there was like a diner in the same parking lot. And I was like, we were all like, let's go get food. Like, let's go get food. And I was like, oh, I have like a bunch of food at the house. So I'm not going to eat right now. And I went home and made like 80 chicken, dinosaur chicken nuggets and like,

smiley french fries and like a hungry jack two chicken fried steak with macaroni and cheese and ate fucking down but um at the diner I was like I don't think I'm gonna eat and the waiter came over and was like what does everybody want to eat and I sat in my seat and I was like

hmm like am I gonna get am I gonna get food like should I eat did he ask the table to he was like should I no I shouldn't order and I was like oh actually I am gonna order and I said can I get the Tom Holland burger hold the spiders and

And the dude was like, yeah, and started writing it down. And I was like, fuck, no, never mind. Like, that was a joke. I'm sorry. It was not funny. And everybody's faces were like... We were dead silent. They were mortified. None of us laughed. Like, we were dead silent. Like, half of us at the table literally put our heads, like, into our hands. And we were like, oh, my God. And in the video, you could see me slow blink at Drew, like, 18 times because I could feel, like...

At first, my thought process was like, there's no way he's taking this long to order. Like, I was like, just like, I was like, if you're not going to order, don't order with this man right now. And I was just looking at you and like blinking so much. Like, I literally. No, but you have to tell me, like, can I get a Tom Holland burger, hold the spiders? Like, that's a good joke. No, it's not. And I've never heard that in my life. And I was so confused. Because I made it up, babe. Dude, all of us. Can I get. Literally everybody at the table was like.

Can I get the Wednesday Addams Burgers? Hold the cobwebs. Oh my god. And I saw your phone in your hand and I was like, why is he holding his phone like that? Oh yeah, I was recording. Yeah, Kai, watch the video. Did you send it? Yeah. Can I get the Tomahawk? The spiders. Wait, is that like on the menu? Just get a glass of champagne.

Dude, all of us like dead silent. Like none of us laughed. To be fair, like we are also like, I will say we didn't laugh because all of us were like, we don't want this waiter to feel like he's being fucking bullied. So all of us did want to laugh at Drew, but we were all like, we can't laugh right now. This waiter is going to feel like he's being bullied. But all of us were like, this is like not. The reaction right after you say it. Should I order?

I'll probably can I get the Tom Holland burger and hold the spiders? Okay, can I get um, can I get a the breakfast burrito and can I get a domestic beer? Watch it look how much I blink while he's talking like actually insane that was the equivalent of like my spray on bitches like I

Like, I'm literally looking at him. I don't think I blink that often in conversation. Like, I think I was literally eating his words with my eyes and, like, trying to, like, process what was happening. Dude, that's, like, the funniest thing I've ever seen, I swear to God. Can I get the Aquaman burger? Hold the aqua. No. Hold the aqua. Kai's losing it. He loves that shit. It's not as good as this. Yeah, Jay and Joe.

Well, I decided that cheerleaders honestly get the privilege to be mean in high school. Because that shit makes no sense. If I could do a backflip on a bitch who I was beefing with, you get the right to be a fucking cunt. Yeah, we were watching...

the world's cheer competition, 2009 Top Gun, Top Gun supremacy. Like they run shit. Like they're on top. We all know this. They're the best cheer group point blank period. That's if you're a cheerleader who you aspire to be or what team you aspire to be on. Like they're the goats. Like I said it. Um,

but there i said it we were watching it's all like we were watching my hot take yeah we were watching the 2019 like competition worlds or whatever it's called um and we were dying laughing because like how the fuck is any of that shit like how do you do that like that that is actually insane that they could like go to a bar and do that in the middle of a bar like i wish i i like i think this year i need to learn how to do a flip because imagine my body doing that like that would be

fucking funny if I was in the middle of like tenants and I just started flipping around like can you imagine like if I was just talking to somebody I was like oh hold my drink hold on and I just did a backflip like that would be so fucking funny but I actually think like if you can't do that as a kid you can't do it as an adult like I don't think at 25 years of age I could just be like I'm gonna learn how to like do a backflip you'd be a flyer you wouldn't even be doing all the flips on the ground you'd be like being tossed in the air who's gonna fucking toss me in the air at tenants like y'all are gonna toss me up

Okay. Fucking bleep that. Devin Lee Carlson and Sidney. True, I could get Devin and Sidney to flip me up. Yeah, they'll be your base and Devin and Sidney will throw you up in the air and I'll be doing my standing fools. Standing fool, what's that? It's where they do like the corkscrew flip.

Like, oh, that's what I thought about, though, is, like, bitches that do know how to backflip, specifically men, just do it all the time. And, like, I can't even fault them for it because, like... Bitch, if I could do a backflip, y'all would never not see me. The second a camera got on me, I'd do a fucking backflip. Are you kidding me? That would be so annoying. It'd be like, oh, don't put a... Like, don't take a picture of Anya. She's gonna do a backflip. Don't put a camera on her. Like, she's gonna do a fucking backflip.

Like, because I see a camera and I immediately start to perform. Imagine if I could flip around. Like, I'd be flipping like a bitch. Like, I'd be flipping crazy. So, I think this year that's my goal. It's like, my three hobbies is learning lap steel guitar, learning how to woodcarve, and backflipping. Yeah. And maybe training for a marathon. Inga's training for the EMP to explode. She's going to, like, barter whittled spoons and play lap steel guitar. Yeah.

When I was like 16, I begged my mom to buy me a vape online. She had no idea what it was and she was so close to buying it for me. She was so close and she was like, wait, no, I'm not buying you this shit. And I was like, fuck. So we had my friend's older brother buy us a vape.

And he bought us like those shitty like open like now they're full of weed oil. But back then they had like vape juice in them. And I'm not kidding. For like three months straight, I sat in the closet. Oh, Drew's in the closet. Drew's in the closet. Oh, Drew's in the closet. No one was going to say that. Oh, my fucking God. Everyone's already commenting it. But I sat in the closet for like three months. Only three months.

and practiced vape tricks like for three months straight like it was crazy like I would because there was no air flow or draft so I would just sit in there and just like teach myself how to do like ghosts and O's I can't do any like

tricks with a vape like if i hit that like it would just make me want to throw up it's literally like riding a bike once you learn how to do it it sticks with you for the rest of your life because like there's no reason why i should be able to pick up that box mod and blow oh still and it's been like fucking years since i like tried to do it it's lit it's lit i'm lit should we do psyop corner or like y'all ever had demonic benadryl dreams

No, when you were saying that the other day, I was like, damn, I just haven't had that because my addiction was like melatonin. Like I was addicted to like melatonin. And actually like when I was like 17, like don't do this. And this is my like warning. But I used to be like, oh, I like because I do have a hard time sleeping naturally. Like I will stay up all night, especially because I have access to my fucking iPhone. And when I was 17...

I go to sleep like so easily. Yeah, bitch, because you eat and then you knock out because you have fucking pre-diabetes. Yeah, I'm pre-diabetic. I said it.

And I'll say it again. Also, Drew the other night, or last night when we were about to watch this episode of this reality TV show we're watching with Josh, he was like, oh, I'm going to wait for my food. He got his food and then just held on to the bag because he can't eat. Because if he eats, he'll go to sleep. So in my head, I didn't want to say anything to him. I was like, why did you make us wait for your food when you can't eat it? I thought about it. And I was like, oh, she's going to say some shit to me. But you didn't. And I held it back. And then I saved it for today. You saved it to air me out.

But I used to be like, oh, I like can't sleep unless I take like two shots of something. And I literally was like an alcoholic addicted to melatonin for like two years from 17 to 19. And I would be like, oh, no, like I would keep a bottle of vodka under my bed.

I can't sleep unless I'm... So don't do that because I learned the hard way. I was like, oh, okay. Like, this is not good. Wait, were you... Is this real? I can't tell. Swear to God. You would take two shots of vodka before bed? Only my boyfriend at the time knew about it. When was this? This was from 17 to like 19. And yeah, that is crazy. Yeah, and I would only be able to sleep if I like took melatonin and drank.

That's a crazy reveal for episode 129. Yeah, dude. Happy birthday! Well, now I don't do that anymore. Like, now I don't, I will not give myself anything in order to sleep. I'm like, if I'm going to stay up late, I'm going to have a late night. That is the way it is. That is the way God intended it to be. But yeah, I used to do that. And then my boyfriend at the time was like, hey, like, you shouldn't do that because like,

That's like a sign of something bad. And I was like, girl, shut up. And I just kept doing it. And then my parents found my bottle under my bed when I was in Miami. And they were like, that's not good. I do recall you telling me this. Yeah, my parents found my bottle and they were like, you shouldn't be doing that. I was like, girl, shut up. And then I went to L.A. and I would when we were at 1304, I used to have to drink to sleep.

- That's crazy. - And then I entered my year of rest and relaxation where I would just take like 80 milligrams of melatonin to go to sleep. - And you literally like created my year of rest and relaxation. - That's why I can't read that book. I can't finish it 'cause I was reading it and I was like, this was literally my life for like two years. - It was crazy. - So a lot of y'all read that shit, but I lived that shit. Like we're different. Like I'm not you. - I can't go to sleep unless I smoke meth and stay up for four days and exhaust my body so much that it just collapses.

I fucking love meth. The way you act sober, if you were on meth, I'd be fucking terrified. Like, I literally would... I don't know. Like, I can't imagine what you would be doing. I would probably be, like, more normal somehow. Yeah. It would do the opposite. Yeah. Um... Well... Oh! This is so exciting. This is the last thing we'll talk about. This is so exciting. Apple Vision Pro...

pre-buy date on the 19th shipping on the second so when this comes out insider information yeah insider information coming very fucking soon and i have a friend parker that went and parker kit hill that went to try it out for the first time and he wore it and he was like it was unlike anything i've ever experienced in my life he was like it was so that's

So special. Oh my god. So special. And it was like he left that thing thinking like oh my god I don't want to take this off. And I want it built into my eyeballs like as contacts. And like it's going to be a problem for a lot of people because it's so real. Spoiler alert. Me and Drew are going to get some. And spoiler alert.

Black Mirror, that episode where people, those two guys get VR. Like, yeah, and they start having sex in the game. And they fuck with their, like, Fortnite characters. That's probably what's about to happen. And me and Inya are doing that. No. I'm just gonna fuck you in real life. Okay, Per, I was gonna say, well, then I'm gonna get, like, an avatar made of you. I have sex with my avatar, but I'm right here. Like, why are you doing all that? I don't know, man.

but i like literally will never touch that thing unless if you could play fortnight on it oh you can play fortnight on it can you actually the fortnight screen would just be what you see am i gonna get one it'll be it'll be first person third person fortnight oh my god wow that would be amazing that's so bad like i actually this year it's a mission to stop playing fortnight as much because i play it

so much because i love to disappear and not do this anymore and like just disassociate from my life and i get dopamine rush and i get to post it on my close friends and nobody cares about it nobody ever interacts with it but it brings me so much joy and nobody cares but i have 122 skins so you have 122 it's so gross i don't even know how many emotes i have but like i easily have like 200 emotes

Because I buy more emotes than stamps. I feel like I need to bleep that. Yeah, that's like toxic. It's really bad. That's so much. Have I ever told a story about how I followed Parker Kitt Hill to the mall and stalked him? You followed him into like a store in the mall? I was such a big fan of his. Like literally, he was so iconic to me. Still is. And he's also like so beloved in Brazil that like...

he's like a celebrity there. I have to pee so bad. I'm sorry. Crawl under the table, girl. Go for it. Go piss group. I have a vivid memory of like whenever Lollipop by Lil Wayne came out, me and my sister were sitting in my dad's truck with him and we were going home from school and me and my sister were singing Lollipop and like obviously it's a sexual song and he just turned to us and he was like, Lollipop by Lil Wayne? It's sex? I thought it was literally about licking lollipops. No, it's about like sucking dick.

This is awkward. Fuck. I hate that. Guy's losing his shit over there. I got the whole squad laughing with that one. But my dad, like, we were singing it, like, and we knew all the words, and my dad just looked at us, and he was like, you will never hear that song again. And he turned off the radio, and we rode home in silence. Honestly...

Rightfully so, because I think I was in like fourth grade when that came out. And my dad was like, yeah, you're not allowed to listen to that. And that was the only song I was told that I couldn't listen to growing up. And bitch, I still sang it at school. You can't fucking stop me. No, literally no. Well, I have another similar memory with Lil Wayne. And I watched a man have a stroke and die and bleed out of his mouth and eyes in front of me. And then I...

watched him die at my feet and then I got ushered to the car and had to listen to a milli on repeat over and over and over again and I still cannot hear that song to this day without thinking of that man's dead body okay that's not like as cool of a memory okay Drew's Psyop Corner I'm trying like a new Drew's Psyop Corner do you want me to design a new yeah I haven't been doing it for like five episodes I'll make a really good one though yeah cook some shit up

Welcome to Drew's Psy Op Corner.

I hate bitches that pee loud as fuck with their horse pussy or some shit like that. It sounds like you're frying pork chops. No, it was like, what are you going to do? Like wake up a horse? Wait, what? What are you talking about? Wait, no. You remember this Psy Off Corner? It was like. Oh, like imagine like having to have sex in the olden days. Like you have to wake up a horse to go fuck or some shit. To go get some pussy or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, the idea of waking up a horse so you can go and fuck for like two minutes is crazy. Imagine your card declines at the hookah lounge and they delete your Snapchat stories. Chloe S. That is so insane. Okay, I got one more. If I come to your house and I see a roach in your microwave, I'm gonna press start. It's gonna pop. We don't have a microwave, famously. Shout out, Barbie. Famously, we don't have a microwave. Yeah.

Did she have one? Yeah, she does. Oh, yeah, she does. Rain doesn't have one. And she keeps talking about it. I'm like, no, have no microwave. Don't get a microwave. It's literally the worst vibe ever, not having a microwave. Like, I'm so hungry right now. I have to eat this shit cold as fuck. It sucks so bad. It's like never been a vibe.

We thought about getting a toaster oven for a while, but it would just look scary on our counter. We already have so much shit on there. What do you mean it would look scary on your counter? Because that's what I'm saying. We have so much shit already. What are we going to do? Throw a microwave on top of it? That's exactly what I mean. I feel like you have so many items already.

here that I feel like it would not be crazy to have a toaster in it. Is our house overwhelming to walk into? Okay, I swear to God in the last six months, the amount of objects that have accumulated in this house...

It looks like, like, name one item in this fucking photo. The, like, stroke image. Yeah, the first, like, AI image. No, it's alive. It's alive in here. It's gotten out of control. We need a new house. We need to just leave everything behind. Okay, let's do some media. Immaterial Sophie, remind me Royce Copp.

Starfruits, Surfrider, Cornelius. Now, hold on. Listen to the album Pacific by Haromi. I can't say his last name. Hosono? Haromi? Haromi Hosono. Oh, I don't have my glasses on. Yeah, Haromi Hosono. Yeah, this album is lit. Third track is amazing. Yeah, it's a really good album. Shout out, Julianne.

Peace and love. Mine is Clouds Across the Moon by The Raw Band. Okay, but that's literally not yours. Like media that you chose for this week. But it is. It's like right here. It's weird to cut me off and say that. So it's 16 and 17 by Dean Blunt. Overkill by Men At Work. I love that song. Like I listen to it way too much. It has been on repeat. Love Bomber.

Oh yeah, Love Bomber by Head Rush. Just for now, Imogen Heap. Felix Amica from Salt Burn Soundtrack and Crazy World by King Ghidorah. And yeah, and Third Coast by Teezo Touchdown.

All right. Guys, happy birthday to me. I probably won't make it into next week. So this is the last footage of me you're ever going to see. So it's really sad. I'm going to die at 25. Oh, my God. I just realized what I was looking at. And I was just looking at this, watching like four different videos at once. Your discovery feed is fucking disgusting. Dude, no. I'm like a grown ass man. There's not a single human on there. Like there's no human faces. No, I'm a grown man. And this is my discovery feed. Like it's...

really really fun bye guys goodnight peace and love