Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 4 Episode 5
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This episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend is sponsored by L.L. Bean. Summer's all about getting outside. For quality outdoor clothing, gear, and accessories, turn to L.L. Bean, the expert for over a century. They got camp chairs, campsite organizers, blankets, coolers. Plus, get the stylish yet durable clothes you need for all types of weather, including their famous bean boots. For the best outdoor products, tips, and inspiration, visit llbean.com slash conan. Outside together since 1912. ♪

Solo Stove and Whistlepig Whiskey have joined forces to introduce Campstock, a limited edition wheat whiskey. It's aged in barrels, toasted by Solo Stove, the world's favorite fire pit. On the rocks, neat, or in a s'mores old-fashioned, Campstock Wheat Whiskey, with its notes of graham cracker, baking spices, and vanilla, is the perfect fireside drink for summer nights. Cheers to whiskey flavored by the flame and savored by the flame.

Please remember to pig out responsibly. Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chums. A six-part series with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Let's get started. Okay, Summer S'mores, episode five. Last one outdoors. We're going to light up our- Oh, that is so cool.

Well, you have to explain what's happening. Matt Gourley made these amazing drinks. And it's... Is this an old-fashioned? Chocolate old-fashioned. It's a chocolate old-fashioned. And I believe it's made with Whistlepig whiskey, which is good stuff.

And then you put a little s'more. That's a cute little s'more in there. I had to literally drill these golden grams with an actual drill. Oh, my God. To get this match to go through. Or else they'd break. That's cute as shit. I'm going to blow this out before. Yeah. I've never tested this. I'm going to let mine toast my shit a little. It's not going to toast. It's just going to, you'll see. It's burning. It's on fire. It's on fire.

Yeah. So it's a little s'more. That's a cute little s'more there. So these are two golden grams? Two golden grams, yeah. And a mini marshmallow. I'm going to eat that because that looks... I'm not a fan of s'mores, but size makes all the difference. And this is a mini. Mine's burnt. What'd you say? Mine's burnt. Mine is burnt. Glad I asked what you were saying. Oh.

That's good. You know what? That is a s'more I find acceptable. Because there's not a lot of marshmallow. Right, and it's also, it's just the amount that I want. I agree. It's just a little bite. And when we talked about doing a s'mores cocktail, I didn't want any marshmallow taste in this drink. Oh my God. You okay? You didn't even have anything to drink yet. And you're a stumbling, bumbling mess. I'm just holding it.

I went to throw my match in the solo stove. Let's talk about this drink. This is a good drink. What's going on here, Gorley? And you are quite the mixologist. No, I'm just a hobbyist. I figure these things out as needed. Well, tell me what went into this concoction. This is Whistlepig, that Camp Stock whiskey that they sent us. That apparently was roasted over a solo stove or something. This is a Camp Stove wheat whiskey.

And it's called the smokeless toast because it was, yeah, I guess they used a solo stove. So there was no smoke. Yeah. And it's actually a very cool bottle. That's a cool bottle. I want to just lick. There's chocolate on the rim. I want to just, is it, can I just lick it? It's lickable. Can I ask a question? Was it a strategic, was there a meeting that took place where everybody was like, let's do the alcohol in the fifth episode? Yes.

Okay. And it wasn't just you. And guess what, Sona? Basically, it's like, it's a version of an intervention.

We're inching towards an intervention. What kind of intervention gives me alcohol at some point? Next summer is going to be a full-on intervention. Yeah. Next summer, we're going to show you a photograph of liquor an hour after the final act. You guys are terrible at interventions. But I am curious if it was like, guys, last year, from the year before, and the year before, was a mess. Yes. It wasn't a mess. Why am I not in those meetings? Sorry.

Let's just say sober heads prevailed. This one got drunk. I agree. I was part of the one saying, I don't want to do that again. It wasn't you. This is my house. I thought we were going to get fucked.

We still can. It's the last episode. You can go for it. It's the last episode. I'm downing this. This is really good. It's very good. It's very tasty. Now, again, what are the flavors in here? You said you used the Whistle Stop. Whistle Pig. He's already drunk. Sorry. It's not. It's just that it's not a... So, hey, I'm curious. I'd like to know the ingredients. We got the Whistle Pig. We've established that. I like how you retook that as if I'm going to edit that out. Yeah.

You know what? I trust you to make me look good. We got the Whistlepig. Yeah. Wheat whiskey. What else is in here? There's some Aztec chocolate bitters, some Trader Vic's chocolate liqueur, a little bit of Angostura bitters, some simple syrup, and then one of those Luxardo cherries, but it comes with a little bit of like the cherry slime, you know? Sure. It's pretty good. Sona, just go a little slower. I did not understand a single ingredient that you just mentioned. Because you just keep guzzling it. You know why?

It's a sipping drink. This is a dessert drink. But there's so much chocolate in it. There's so much. I'm already almost done with this. Do you need more? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. There's a whole decanter on the counter. You know, when you make a drink and it has this much sugar in it. It's pretty sweet. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not one for... I like sweet fruity drinks, but I don't love sweet chocolatey drinks. This is good. I tried to...

mild it up a little. This is like, it's got, what's that? What's going on, Sona? It's so good. It is so, this is my favorite drink of all time. Oh my God, Sona. Yes. Wow, and you're like an alcoholic. That's really saying, that's really saying something. That's like, that's like, you know, it's true, it's true. It's like Ted Bundy saying this, now this murder tops them all. You know what I mean? Oh wait, I have a whole stack here. Oh my God, you made me snot. Oh my God.

And wait, what's the cherry? What's special about the cherry? The cherry looks like it's had some kind of experience. What is it? What happened to the cherry? What did the cherry go through? The cherry was in an emotionally abusive relationship prior to this drink. Uh-huh.

And then lost a bunch of money at the track. Good. It's just a Luxardo cocktail cherry. I don't know what that means. It's just these kind of cherries that they make that come in this really thick cherry syrup. So when you put one in, it kind of, the syrup goes with it. Here's my question, Matt. How do you even know this stuff? Do you look it up online? I drink a lot. But when you said, oh, it's just a Luxardo gum gum cherry, that's all it is. I don't even know where you would get that.

At Total Wine and Spirits, any kind of like BevMo or something? Okay. BevMo. You want some more? Yeah, fill me up. Oh, yeah. Give me some more of that. I don't know. Jeez. Okay.

Hey, we had this crazy idea. Yeah. And I didn't know whether we should bring it up, but... Key party. Key party. Everyone get your keys in the... It's only going to be your keys in the bowl. Yeah. I'm going to put my keys in the bowl and then put on a blindfold and reach in. And you're going to see me not know that it's my keys. And I'm going to pull them out and go... And then you're going to see me go off in the woods and then the coyotes will attack me.

Attack my excited body. Go ahead. When you guys were at camp, did you ever play Chubby Bunny? I don't know what that is. You don't? I don't know what that is. Okay. We don't have to do this, but this was just an idea that came up when we were discussing this season.

What happens is everybody takes a marshmallow, you put it in your mouth, and you say the words chubby bunny. And then we take turns adding a marshmallow each time until someone can't say chubby bunny anymore and they're out. All right. Okay? Can we eat the marshmallow? You have to keep it in your mouth. All right. All right.

This is the game Marlon Brando was playing when he secured the role for the Godfather. Can I keep drinking? Yeah. Will it dissolve the mug? Oh, no, you can't drink. You can't drink. All right. So Sona's out.

Chubby bunny. So you can't swallow it. You can't chew it. You have to keep it in your mouth. Let me just hold on. Let me stock up. Never ever heard of this. You've never heard of this? No. God, you grew up in a strange way. I did. Yeah. No, no. I have strange tales and stuff, but there was no chubby bunny in my background. Who's played chubby bunny? Every hand goes up. Oh, my God. No, Eduardo's giving me the thumbs down. Never heard of it. Never played it? Never. Okay. All right. All right.

Chubby bunny. Wait, does that count as you saying chubby bunny? That didn't sound like chubby bunny. Oh, right. Chubby bunny. She's out. She's out. First of all, you can't articulate things when you're... Chubby bunny. You should go in snake order. Yeah, snake order. Oh, God, you want that, Tony?

I was gonna throw up! Okay, ffffroooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnn

Oh, God, there's so much spit there, girls. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Giant mouth. This is so stupid. This is so dumb.

This is the dumbest thing I've ever been a part of. Four score and 50 different things. I just love that you can't talk. Five questions that four times took me.

More napkins

How'd you guys do more than one? There's no winners in Chubby Bunny, only losers. I don't know why. I have one question. Yeah. I developed this fastidious way of talking. I was going, a chubby, a bunny. And I wasn't even trying to. But in my effort to over enunciate, it came out as a chubby, a bunny. And I wasn't trying to do that. It's just what happened.

Could you tell it was the Gettysburg Address? Yeah, I could. Oh, yeah, definitely. Well, there you go. That's how Lincoln did it. Also, if there's anything you're reciting, it's usually the Gettysburg Address. That's true. No. Oh, God. I can do, there's so many things I recite. So that's a game that you played in camp? Yeah. Okay. Did you guys tell stories, like ghost stories? Yeah, but I never went to camp.

Oh, for God's sake. Wait, what? Wait, you... Why did you play this? Yeah, when you just said you were going to play this in camp, what were you basing it on? Well... You're a sad little boy. I was a sad little boy. It's a true story. I was... Did you... So, how come you didn't go to camp? I think it was never offered to me. Wait, what? Your parents were never like, we want to send you away? No.

No, I think probably they... I bet they knew that this kid's not going to make it through camp. Like you'd miss your family too much? Yeah, because here's why. I think the others would set on him.

I think you're right. Like Lord of the Flies. When I was an adult in my 20s, I went to teach at an improv theater camp, and I called home the first day going, I want to come home. When you were in your 20s? Matt, you were in your 20s? I get so homesick. It's ridiculous. You called home? I called my girlfriend at the time going like, I wanted to come. I just, I don't know. I don't take to camp. Oh. Yeah. Okay. This was in your 20s, and it wasn't even camp. It was an improv class. Yeah.

Probably in an urban setting. It was prison. Yeah. I loved camp. Really? I did. I had fun at camp. Yeah. Anyway, that's where I learned about Chubby Bunny when I was in 20s. Oh. Teaching at camp. When you were in 20s. Chubby Bunny.

It wasn't a camp. It was not a camp that you went to. That's the sad part. I know. I was a counselor at camp once and my little cousin came and I lost him at the beach for like 45 minutes. Where? What? I thought the ocean took him. I was really, as both a counselor and as a family member, I was like, I really shit the bed here. But wait a minute. What?

What did you do? Did you start looking for him or did you immediately? Everybody started looking for him. It became like an all hands on. He was only seven and it was an all hands on deck situation. I was like, guys, he was there. He's not there. I don't know where he is. And then everyone started looking for him. Do you know where you went wrong? Why did you take your eye off of him? What happened?

I don't know. There were two kids I had to watch. They were both the youngest kids. You only had two? I had two kids because they were like, they're the youngest. They need a

attention, especially if they're by the beach. So I turned my head away for a second to look at the other kid and when I turned around, my cousin was gone. They always say that I turned away for a second and when I turned back. But I know that if we could go back and look at you, you started talking to some dude and doing that face you always used to do when you were single. When you liked somebody. I'm not even going to argue. You'd make your eyes get real bright. Making a spliff? Rolling up a spliff. No.

She used to do this face when she thought a waiter was cute. What's the face? She would do this big, and she would ask a lot of questions, and her chin would be way up in the air. That's pretty good. Yeah, and she would, yeah. There was always a couple of drinks in at that point. Where was the child? He was playing in the sand underneath a lifeguard tower.

There were two areas. There was the area where everybody was, and then we all would go down to the beach, and there were just two areas. He wasn't in any of them. He was seven. You just turned your head for a second, so how could he have gotten that far? The ocean took him. I thought it. I thought the ocean took him. But the ocean didn't take him. No, but it could have. And then, because he was out in the sun for so long, he got heat stroke. And then, so he was like a disaster. What a great camp this was. I know.

How did you, did you have to have any qualifications? No, we were like 17, 18 years old. We were kids in charge of other kids. I had a flashback. I was a camp counselor in Dedham, Massachusetts.

at the Dedham Community Center. And I'm having a strong moment right now because very recently, I was with my brother Neil and we were driving around and we were driving through Dedham and I realized, hey, I think we're near where I used to be a camp counselor. And we drove by the Dedham Community Center. And so it's been years. I mean, it's been...

I don't know if it's been 45 years or something since I've been there. This got quiet like you're telling us a ghost story. But I'm serious. I had this moment just now thinking, oh, right, I just did this. And I passed and I looked at the place and I remembered that the guy who ran the camp thought I was a CIT, you know, I was a counselor. And I was in charge of like these eight-year-olds. And I remember this one guy that ran the camp was like, you're pretty funny, you're pretty funny. And then I remembered one year later,

He said, I want you, I got this funny, it's the 4th of July. You're a funny guy. You just always make people laugh. I have an Uncle Sam costume I bought. Put it on and I'll have you perform for all the kids. And I'm not, I wasn't thinking I was, you know, I don't know what I was. I was 16, 17. And someone's telling me to do this. So I,

I was reluctant, but I put on this Uncle Sam costume and he had assembled all the kids in camp. And I came out and I was like, hey, everybody, I'm Uncle Sam. And I bombed like you cannot imagine. No, I can easily imagine. And I was dressed as Uncle Sam. And I'm in this, I'll never forget, I'm in this like, standing next to this big dead lawn.

in Dedham, right near the courthouse where Socko and Vanzetti were tried. And I'm dressed as Uncle Sam in a shitty Uncle Sam costume that probably cost $2. And the beard's coming off. The kids, I had put no thought into it because the counselor just thought, you're funny, so go be funny. And it was a disaster. Conan, two things. This is first, why I never went to camp, something like that. It's a war crime. Yeah.

Two? Do you realize you have two Uncle Sam sad stories? I know, I know. Remember we covered this and we got that Halloween costume that your mom bought you? I know, my mom got me that Uncle Sam costume. I know, and yet I love my country. America has done you wrong. No, but I love my country, but I do. And also, what was he thinking that a guy with no preparation who's 16 years old, who's, yeah, he's kind of funny, can just put on an Uncle Sam costume impromptu and get up in front of a bunch of kids and say,

at a low rent day camp and make them laugh. - And you knew you bombed, 'cause even sometimes at that age, you talk yourself into thinking like, "Oh, well, that was fun. I got to perform." - Oh no, oh no. I'm quite aware when something I've done has not worked. And this was an absolute bomb. And I remember even the guy was like, "What the fuck was that?"

And I'm like, you just told me. Like he paid you. Like he hired you. Yeah. You double as like a cab driver when you're not running this decrepit camp. You're a cab driver. You found this costume in a trunk. You made me wear it.

Which is, you know. Yeah. So I did. And it was awful. And I just was there. Oh my God. And now here I am in Altadena drinking a chocolate whistle pig whiskey drink and recounting this terrible memory from my childhood. Solo Stove is back as a sponsor for their third year in a row. And yes, there's still no smoke with a Solo Stove fire pit.

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product integration. There's nothing better than a bottle of great whiskey around the campfire in the summer. We'll be sipping it with s'mores in hand. Here's a toast to Whistlepig, the whiskey of the summer. Find Whistlepig Whiskey at shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com or at your local bar or liquor store. Please remember to always pig out responsibly. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

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Some trips are better in an Airbnb. It's just true. Like the trip you want to take with extended family where you want to stay close, but not all be sharing one bathroom. That's key for me. Okay, that's why Airbnb is the choice I often want to make. Or, for example, the couple's getaway where you'd rather have your own pool than share one with a bunch of strangers. Ugh. Oh, when I'm in a pool with strangers, I start shrieking. Yeah.

Okay, that's weird. Or that last-minute local getaway when you just really need to get out of the city for the weekend but don't want to deal with the airport. You know, I have to say, I've used Airbnb a couple of times and it always makes me feel like I'm at home even when I'm away. Do you have that? I do, too. I mean, you know, I have two small kids who are loud and so when I'm in a hotel, I feel a little uncomfortable. Well, you're loud, too. Oh, yes. Okay.

Okay, yeah, we're all loud. And then in an Airbnb, I just feel much more comfortable traveling. You're not as self-conscious. No. Yeah, and also you're staying in someone's home. It's got that vibe of comfort, relaxation, normalcy instead of some stuffy hotel. Yeah. I don't want a mint on my pillow. Yeah.

Hey, Blay, you use Airbnb, don't you? I do. I love it. And I will say, staying in someone's place really does add a lot. I'm a huge Stephen King fan, and the last Airbnb I stayed in had this book, From a Buick 8, which is one of the few Stephen King books I haven't read. So I actually started reading it in the Airbnb. Nerd! You know what I do sometimes when I'm at an Airbnb? I often travel with a picture of myself in a frame. Oh, boy. And I take it out, and I put it up, and it feels like home. Nerd!

I travel with my own framed headshot. Do you leave it there as a gift? No! That's mine. Those things are precious. So if you're booking a trip soon, my number one tip is to check out Airbnb first to find the perfect place to stay because your accommodation really does make all the difference. ♪♪♪

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Here's my question. Because you always talk about how you were a counselor at camp. Were you ever a camper at camp? Mm-hmm. Okay. Remember he got his legs fried by the metal boat? No, but that was when you were a counselor. No. I thought. No, no, that was when I was a camper. Were you the cool counselor or were you the rules guy? Were you like, guys, we have to... No, I was not. It's time to light up, everybody. Lights out, everyone. Hey, guys, lights out. It's 8 p.m., everyone. I would say I was neither or neither, whichever you prefer. I was not...

I really didn't like it, but it's a job. But I'm not one of those guys that just realized I loved it. Seven and eight-year-olds, that's a tough age. Oh, yeah. So I remember sending him out in the ocean on a raft. Yeah. I love the end of that story is probably we never found him. Oh. No, it's okay. No, we found him. He's cool. My cousin.

I don't think I was either one. I was not a cool... I know what a cool counselor's like, and I was not one. Mm.

But I don't think I was a bad one either. Yeah. I just think I was a guy who was doing time, trying to move up the rung. Did you ever have a kid kind of want to be your, like have you as a mentor that kind of attached themselves to you, you know, like in meatballs? No. I mean, I think of you that way, man. That I attach myself to you? Yeah, I think of you as my young liege, you know? Oh, I'm fucked. Yeah.

No, I don't. I never had that. No. I can see some little squirt just kind of coming up and going, hey, this is my guy. I'm going to learn from him, you know? Yeah. No? I don't think so. You're barking up the wrong tree. This is just getting sad now. Hey, Conan, didn't you ever throw a pass and win the big game? No, I didn't. Conan, did someone ever tell you they loved you unconditionally? No, no. No, they didn't. Hey, Conan, did you ever have a moment where you just felt real bliss and at ease with yourself? No. No, I didn't. Hey, Conan.

Did you ever just think your life's been worthwhile? No, no, I didn't. Hey, Conan. Did you ever just sort of look around and think it's good that I was born? No, no, I haven't. Hey, Conan. Conan. Did you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think he's not so bad looking? No, no, I haven't. This is really good. I am nursing this like you wouldn't believe. Why are you nursing it? Because I have half a lung.

People can go to Coco's socials Already? Already? Me too though a little bit So if you guys had your meetings And you thought oh We're going to stop ourselves This year from Sona being so drunk Fuck all of you Sona and I got together in pre-game I am wasted already And it's because I know what to do When there's a thing in my cup

fuck all of you guys for having meetings behind my back. And you know what? You know what I love best of all? You're sitting on a half-eaten marshmallow. It's stuck to me.

Look at that. Look at her. Look at her. Oh, my God. It stuck to my pants. Yeah. You've got marshmallow on your pants, too, buddy. And that's not marshmallow. Tent pitched. What was I supposed to say? Will you say it? You say it. Ruthie. I can do it. I'm sober as a judge. Go to Team Cocoa Socials for the recipe. What? For this drink? Yeah. Check out Team Cocoa on Instagram.

Okay. And this is a great drink. You should check it out. You should drink it a little more responsibly than Sona. I'm at my house. I improvised this one a little. I'm going to have to get the formula down. Okay, you're going to know this.

Yeah. Because you're a Bond guy. Why wouldn't I know it? In Casino Royale, what's the drink he improvises? What's the recipe? Oh, it's Gordon's gin, vodka, quinoa lily, which they don't make anymore, and a little twist of lemon. I knew he'd know that. Now ask me something you know I'm going to know. Okay. Okay.

What's my favorite thing Conan ever did? What year was Richard Nixon born in? That's a good one. I actually don't... Well, I'm going to work here. Nixon is, I think, a little older. JFK is born in 1917. Nixon's a little older than JFK, I believe.

That's a good one. Earlier, you knew exactly when Ronald Reagan was born. Yeah, some dates. Why do you know some and some who don't know some? You know, Hattie, I can't say. What caliber of bullet was Lincoln shot with? Hold on. I'm going to say 1914. Oh. Eduardo? No, I didn't see him. I'm going to say 1913. It's 1913, January 9th. I was going to say 1913. Okay.

That's what I was going to say. Yeah. This part's got to come out. I was going to say, I was going to say, he's a year older. Not because anyone was wrong, just because it's just awful. No, because you didn't know it and you don't want people to know you didn't know it. These two people guessed Nixon's birthright. You saw Eduardo give you the answer. I didn't see that. Gorals asked what caliber bullet Lincoln was shot with. It's not really a caliber. Oh.

they just made bullets out of a mold rather large bullet by today's standards it's not really rifled at all didn't have to be because it was shot at such I mean three inches from the left here I have a quick question yeah what's up how's the end of the summer s'mores series going this year

This is the last year we're doing this, I think. I don't think so. What are you talking about? We got to go to his backyard. Yeah, we do. And you know what we're going to do next year? Gummies. Oh, hell yeah. I've been waiting for the gummy year. Come on, we should. And then we all sleep there and do a slumber party. I'm going to embarrass you when we go to your house. Well, you have. It's called your engagement party. That was fun. We

We had a good time, right? We did. That was really nice. People still talk about that. That was a good party. That was really nice of you to do. I loved that. Well, I don't think you were in the picture yet. No, but you could have pre-invited me.

You're right. It's true. I don't think you were alive yet. It was a long time ago. No, we should do it. Will we do it in my backyard next year? Again, I just have to clear it with various celebrities and various potentates, CEOs, CFOs. You know, it's a very, it's a very... We'll wear disguises when we come in. I'm going to go to your house. I'm going to talk about how hard it was to get there. I'm going to be like, oh my God, I take this.

this freeway that freeway and I had to change my currency and you're gonna be like hey this is where I go all the time this isn't that far and that's my life no no listen if we do it in my backyard I'm not gonna be there it's gonna be an a look-alike a Conan look-alike I'd love that and he's gonna be wearing an earpiece and saying what I tell him to say and I'm gonna be up in my room getting a rub down okay no legit okay you said no who

says rub down that's sexual is a real Epstein no oh Jesus he means he means Theo Epstein the former general manager of the Red Sox the um sweat hog you only get better when you drink Epstein is Epstein the oh oh oh no that's Horseshack oh that's Horseshack guys who was which one was Epstein

He was. The jacket. Yeah. This is. Okay. You brought up Ron Polillo on a podcast recently. So. I hate it when you take this like position of like. I know. This small high ground. Yeah. You brought up the fucking Lord guy from. Yeah. The Lord guy. Old show. Jack Lord. Hawaii Five-0. No, that was okay. Oh.

No one talks about that guy anymore. I'm going to Google him. I don't think you're going to do anything. I don't think you can find your phone. That's a bar of soap that's on your phone. Listen, I'm going to try and clear up some of that. I want to say there's some dry brush here that needs clearing out. Okay. Let's close on this. I think we've had a wonderful time here. And what I was trying to paint a picture of is next year we do this in my yard. And it might be a funny bit.

if I'm not there with you guys, we get an actor. And listen, he's wearing an earpiece and I'm up in my room and I'm getting like a massage. And that's what I was going for. I said rub down like, but I'm not some guy that goes to a rub and tug joint. You stuttered like maybe you have. I just love the phrase rub and tug joint. Okay.

but I'm upstairs in my room and I'm occasionally telling the actor things to say. And I'm, and I have like all these delicacies and things up in my room. Isn't that kind of a funny idea? I think the better idea is we do it at your house. It's the three of us, but you're in an uncle Sam costume. Oh no. Can I also say, listen, I'm being very serious. When we go to your house, can we go to where, you know, famous people live and can we knock on the door and

and say, hey, my pillow flew over in your yard. Can I go grab it? Because there's so many famous people that live near you. So I just want to make sure it's cool. The level of security they had. When you went to get, when you retrieved the pillow, it would be riddled with bullet holes. The minute a pillow blows into one of those yards.

It's immediately set upon by dogs and then shot. So yeah, I don't know. Isn't it sad that we gotta wrap this up? I actually, I'm having fun. Me too, I just started having fun. That's called alcohol. I know, why did we wait till this late? Why? I think you're right. Because I think it's smart because when you go back and look at the tape, you will understand why we waited to the last episode. Let's rewind it. Yeah. Let's rewind the tape. And then...

You know what you are? You're my chill chum. You're my chill chum. Eat tea fingers. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Expulsion from paradise. God, I'm Adam. Forever. Forever.

Turn on your hot light. Do you remember that Neil Diamond song? My question is this. Did I bring you guys up to my level or did I go down to your level? You came down. I came down. You came down to the basement. I came way down. And you were waiting for us. I came down to the basement and then dug a hole. Remember when we heard those coyotes? Oh.

That was scary. Kill that animal? Yeah. That was insane. If it was an animal. That's nature. We don't know what they found. And nurture. Come on. We'll take a break. We'll be right. No, sometimes if you say something like that, if people aren't really thinking, people think you said something profound...

I mean, I just blew it. But if I'd said, and nurture, well, that's our time. There'd be some people listening to be like, man, Conan nailed it. Not a single person, I don't think. I don't think a single person would think that was profound. Yeah. I think they would see right through that. And do you miss saying, we'll be right back?

I do. I do it in just normal conversations all the time now. That's so weird. I do it with my wife. I do it with Liza. No. I do. Yeah. What do you mean? She says like we're going to be empty nesters next year and she says I don't know that's bringing up a lot of feelings and I say yeah we'll take a break. We'll be right back. No. That's abuse. That's abuse. That's a real feeling she's having.

I know, but I don't want to deal with it. And you know what's really weird? A commercial starts to come on in my head, and usually for not a great product. Usually because the program in my mind isn't selling for that much, it's usually not a good, you know. It's like, if you think you have mesothelioma. Gosh.

Wow, that's a daytime thing. I know. It's a daytime thing. What's the deal? Yeah. I know we should have wrapped hours ago, but let's talk about mesothelioma. What is with the people who have that? Well... And what is the... You're acting like it's their fault. I'm sorry, but what is the settlement that's going to happen? And maybe I have mesothelioma. No. Okay. Isn't it they get it from asbestos? Is it? It's...

You okay? Is it? Is it? Yes. Is it? You don't even have to drive home. I've had a wonderful time. That's why I downed you. You're an Altadena. It should be it for you there, goggles. And then I think maybe you should go night-night time. Yeah, I'm going to go night-night time. Yeah. I'm trying to get this cherry. You're going to sleep in that chair. Try that cherry. I think Tack's going to look out his window and see a figure in a chair tonight, but it's going to be Sona. I'm going to be like this. Yeah. He's going to be like, again. Again.

Well, that was this year's episode of Chill Chumps. Will there be one next year? Will there be a next year? There's so much we don't know. But what we do know is that real friendships last.

Whether you're gathered in Altadena or Pasadena or a place that's sort of closer to civilization, as long as you have a good drink and good friends, good memories of having to wear an Uncle Sam costume, entertaining an entire camp with no preparation and totally bombing.

- I hope that if there's a heaven that I get to die and go up and just see 16 millimeter footage of that. - I'm with, you know what, I'm with Goralz. I will say you put so much thought and effort into all the events that you do.

- I have never seen you bomb, bomb. I would love to see you bomb and just be like so uncomfortable. I think that's a good character building thing, I think for you. - Okay. - Have you bombed since then? 'Cause I imagine that that scarred you so much that you found a way to like preternaturally avoid bombing.

You have a kind of mind. Anybody's always 30 seconds away from bombing, potentially. What a way to live. What a way to live. I will say my favorite thing is when you make a joke you're proud of and no one laughs. I know, it's funny because it never happens. It's like saying I love seeing Humble Loflos. What?

A Humphalumpagus. You mean Snuffleupagus? No, I just made up an animal that doesn't exist. You messed up an animal. No, I didn't try to say Snuffleupagus. You tried to say Snuffleupagus. Yes, you did. I did not try to say Snuffleupagus. What is a Humphalupagus? I just tried to make up an animal. No, that's not a thing. You didn't try to do that. You would never do that. You would go with something that works and you didn't go with anything that worked. You bombed. You bombed. You bombed. You bombed, Uncle Sam.

Democracy's over. I'm going to say something about five minutes ago. I cast my gaze around the room and I saw Ruthie checking out. And Ruthie is the biggest fan of what we do. And Ruthie was looking like, okay, it's time to, let's call it. And that was five minutes ago. And you guys are drunkenly saying, you meant snuffle up against not humphalumphalous. Right?

We got you this time. Like you just cracked the biggest case of all time. We Perry Mason you. This has to stop and I'm going to stop it. Good night, chill chums. It was good seeing you. Thanks for having us to your home. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Yeah, well, not inside in the yard. Oh. And... Been inside. Didn't really offer me anything to eat. And thank you all. There's so much... Do not do that. Thank you all. There's so much food there. Thank you, Eduardo. Thank you.

Ruthie, Sam, the whole team, Blay, Jills, I know you're out there somewhere. Adam figuring out a way to have this all work for marketing. You know, our devoted team. You know, Eduardo, of course, always has my back. David drove me here in a car that's... I can't describe to you how small this car is. If you imagine a container for one Oreo cookie and then... Ruthie is literally looking at her wife. When can we finish?

There's Tanisha. There's Josh. There's Mikey. Yep. And then there's John Rao. Yep. Yoder. Oh, wait. Mikey is right there. Yoder. Rachel Yoder. There's a cool crew here. Good night, everybody. And remember, if you love us, we love you more. Take it to the next level. Tupac out. Summer S'mores with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley.

Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. ♪

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.

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