197. Calming Your Nervous System (Financial Trauma, Anxiety, and More) with Somatic Healing Coach The Workout Witch
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Trauma, whether it's big tea trauma or a little tea trauma, causes you to disconnect from parts of yourself and supply parts of yourself to keep yourself safe, right? So if, for example, you are bully a lot, maybe you work classes, right? You've got bly a lot as a kid for wearing glasses. You might not feel as comfortable like expressing yourself out loud, being your full self at school. And even though that's not consider big to trauma is still this suppressing of who you are of and has the same physiological as big tea trauma does, especially when that happens over a prolonged period of time.

Okay, here's the deal. I'm not going to say the e ward, I say in the episode, but I am not going to say here. Welcome, financial feminist today is a coming the episode with some trigger warnings, the trigger warnings, sexual buse, financial abuse.

But IT ends so happily IT and so lucky happily. And the reason we're releasing the episode on a super random day that has nothing to do with anything going on in the world right now is that A I imagine you need to get some rage out and you need to be sued. So we're talking about thematic exercises s today, and how we can release tension and trauma and fear and shame and rage from our bodies in a healthy way.

And i'm really excited for today's guest, who is also fan and follower of her first hundred k and who has said many times to me privately and also on the episode, which is so weak that our work has changed and impacted her life, which is very kind. So let's talk about today's guest list to udo U A K A. The workout which specializes in healing the physical effects of trond and stress and is on a mission to make some matic killing popular and accessible as a narcissist abuse survivor, is learned what rage was at an usually Young age.

SHE experienced chronic pain and unexplained health conditions in her early twenty years after trying everything, yoga, mesage, cae, praters, doctors, active puncture meditation, liz tried some matic exercise after her first four lessons. Her chronic pain in years long battle within somalia were almost entirely gone with a degree psychology from U. C, S, B, S, umax certifications, and fell in crazy and policies with a specialization in injuries and pathologies and fifteen years of teaching experience, she's been changing the conversation around how trauma and anxiety affect the body.

For fifteen years, this has helped over one hundred and twenty thousand women heal from trauma and long term stress with her viral online courses. This house now more than three million followers on social media, with over fifty million views on her tiktok videos, thousands of testimonials from students who have had huge transformations with their courses, many of which are published on her website and instagram highlights. We talk about how you can use very, very simple, easy exercises that you can even do, bed or just sitting to help you process emotions and trauma and sort of energy in your body.

We talk a bit about this is personal story, and how he went from having a history of childhood abuse and a emotionally and financially al abusive relationship and partnership into a thriving seven figure business oh, so fucked and cool. We also talk about how to deal with stressful situations. Definitely not like what we're experiencing right now.

So without further a do let's go hand get into IT. But first, a word from our sponsors follows my absolute favorite. I love the football.

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This is how reo, it's so nice to meet you. Finally, it's so nice to meet you too. I am so excited to have you want to show.

I have been following your work for a very long time and we've spent kind of like internet friend's ships passing in the nights is the first time I ever done with you. So i'm just very excited about that. I want to start with how you got into this work.

You were dealing with narcisse c abuses a child. Can you share about that experience and how IT LED you to wear? You are .

now absolutely. I grew up with a parent who is narcisse c as I was growing up, I didn't know that I didn't have any vocabulary for that or any understanding that what I experienced was abNormal. I experienced a lot of rage and a lot of anger in the house, and there was kind of written off that IT was cultural.

You know, that's just like how men from this culture are. I was also sexually assaulted as a child by someone in my family. And then I started having a lot of pain in my body, like chronic pain and insomnia.

I A really, really Young age. My therapist is kind of classified my extended family as like next level violence. But a lot of this I didn't understand until doing some healing work and understanding that what experiences was really abNormal.

Even what you're just describing. First of all, I really start that happened to you what what you're describing is, I think what IT makes your work so interesting. And that, I think is only just starting to be understood at the mainstream level, which is that the body keeps the score.

Our trauma and our pain is not just emotional, but trauma can show up physically. So you mention in soma, you mentioned pain in your body. Tell me more about that. Like, where did IT live?

How did IT manifest? The pain in my body really started in my shoulder and in my neck. And I can even see in photos of me as a kid like my shoulders are visibly tense and can kind of tell that i'm clenching my job.

And so I started off with a bunch of musculars attention in my upper body that progressed into my lower body, where my hips were really tight. I was having back pain as a Young child. Then when you have all the muscle tension that a bitrate in your body, you start to have good issues and starts to affect your H.

P. A. access. I was getting random stomach ache es all the time, you know and then from going through so much trauma, and just like having just suppress my emotion so much as a child, then you know you're not sleeping anymore because you're really scared and you're really anxious and you in this hyper visual stay.

And I was a dancer as a kid, so a lot of micron ic pain got written off like, well, you're a valid answer, like this is Normal for you to be in pain. But there is something so deep. And me, even as a child, that knew that what I was experiencing wasn't Normal. And that is what really prompted me to keep searching for answers.

Well, in one of the answers you found and what your focus is really on is so matic killing now. So can we define what that is and how your journey brought you to semantic killing as a potential solution?

Yeah, synthetic exercises are really great for people who have experienced long term stress or have lived through trauma. Soma is the record for body. And so matic exercises are literally like these really tiny, gentle exercises that you can do in bed or on the floor that release pent up stress and pent up trauma out of your body and bring your nervous system back into baLance.

And I initially found out about them. In my early twenty years, my dance teacher, I noticed that I was associated pretty much all of the time when I wasn't dancing and was like, you should come to my sm matic s plans. And I was so skeptical because I was also like an election in my head and have been to so many doctors.

And I was .

like, I don't know what rolling around on the floor in my pajamas is gonna do. But I was also desperate. I had tried so many things, like active puncture, yoga, meditation, like, I had tried so many things that didn't have a long term sustainable result. So I was desperate, and I went to her sona tics class. And after the first lesson, I cried in the bathroom because my physical tension was so much Better, like IT was noticeably Better after one lesson and after four lessons, I was sleeping through the night again for my first time in decades.

Yeah, I think that that's a common thing. And I encounter that two in my mid twice. As I was going through a grief period, I was the intellectual person who, you know, understood at a certain level that, like my body and my mind were connected, of course.

right? It's one one body. My brain is in my body. I got that. But like, I started doing energy coaching with someone and there were so many interesting things that I discovered that yeah, just like where your body keeps pain in that for me, every time I would cry, I would try to analyze why.

And now I ve just got to the point where I realize sometimes my body just needs to release energy. And the way I described IT to people that helps me and that helps me get to the point where realizing this is all connected, you know how you stop your toe and you start crying before you've even registered pain, like before you realize this, oh, that heart, right? You just stop your toe.

And your body has a reaction that has an emotional reaction. And that is the example of that. I give this to myself that helps me clarify a lot of this, which is like sometimes you just have to store up energy in your body and at manifest times you're crying and you don't need a reason why.

Sometimes you just need an emotional release. Sometimes yeah you stop your toe and before your body even goes out, that was painful, your body and tears. And so it's so interesting to me that that seemed like such a like a quick solution.

Now obviously, you know, you keep IT up over a long period time and do these exercises. Were you surprised that like how quickly this was able to help? And like, yeah, you're you're same rock and around on the following your projects. But like talk to me about like what this work actually is and like what the sciences behind IT.

Yeah, I I was truly shocked. I I was like, okay, cool. I feel fine now. But like, how am I gona feel in four days or five days? Because, you know, sometimes the yoga would makes me feel good for like a night.

And then but then the next, you know, two days later, I was back to having a clench ja all day, and, you know, just being in pain all the time. So what was so different for me about symmetry exercises was that IT really the effects were immediate. And then they last a long term, even when i'm not doing the exercises regularly. My my body is different now, and the way I relate to my body is different after doing that exercises.

So scientifically what happens is that any time you perceive stress or um a threat that goes into the olympic system in your brain, your middle m is the fear center in your brain and then that signals down to your address inal lands to pump out some cortisol in your body and in small amounts in uh threat this court is all is good right this court is all is just part of our evolutionary response to stress or to threat. It's a literal steroid that gets spite to help you fight or flea in the situation. What's happened is that are, you know, this evolutionary survival response has been around for like four million years, and now we're not getting attacked by bears anymore.

We're like having an altercation with a bus or, you know, someone cut you off on the freeway. And so we're having these like really big reactions in our body to our modern day stressors. But what's happening for people is that they're just having these constant cortisol bikes all the time, and then they are never like what you are saying.

They're never like releasing this pants up energy out of their body. They are never recovering from the stress. So scientifically, experiencing a little bit of stress, having that cortical Spike and then recovering from stress, that's fine.

The issue is that most people aren't ever finalizing their biological stress cycle. So they perceive the stress. They have the chemical reaction in their body, but then they just don't do anything. They're not moving. They're not doing any sort of releasing or any sort of like breath work to recover from that stress.

And when that happens for years and for decades because you have a stressful job, because you live in manhattan, because you are in a toxic relationship, whatever you have a horrible boss, whatever IT is, that's just us accumulates in the body and IT starts to, you know, sharing certain parts of your brain like you're prefrontal cortex. IT starts to make your mida, your fear center larger. IT starts to cause all this muscle tension.

IT starts to keep your so as muscle contract. You know, IT affects the nervous system. So thematic exercises is essentially bring your body back into homeostasis, where all of these systems are functioning optimates again.

And IT does this through these really tiny movements, but also teaches people so that, like releases a lot of muscular attention and a lot of habitual patterns of holding stress in your body. But IT also goes deeper than the muscles, and IT gets into your nervous system. So as you're doing the exercises, the teacher is going to kill you in certain ways that bring your focus onto your internal space. And that's gonna. You build neural pathways out of the stress cycle and into the physiological cycle of a much more baLance, peaceful body.

We will do one of these exercise, I think, at the end, especially as this epic is coming out before the election. But just so people have, i'm a visual person. Give me like an example, like I know because i've i've been following you for a while.

I have a lot of friends too are familiar with this work. It's sometimes rocking back and forth. It's like line on your side and moving back and forth like give us that may be an example or two so we can understand what this looks like.

yeah. So the first exercises that I give to people are rocket exercises. And rocking is so, so soothing on your body, because when you're rocking side aside, like great to love.

IT uses bilateral simulation, which naturally regulates your nervous system and activites your person. Pathetic nervous system, which is the state of peace, and use the ever rythm in the rocking is also really, really soothing for you. There's a reason why.

People rock babies when they're cringing. It's incredibly suing for our bodies. That's kind of the first place that I have people start is with the rocking exercises because IT allows them to just release tension.

And it's a little meditative in a way because you start to get into the even thin the right, left, right, left, right, left. You do that for about a minute and all the sudden you're not like in your busy brain anymore. Your bodies just kind of taken over. And you can kind of have this experience with that .

for those who are not watching and just listening. I've started swaying back and for myself back .

and ah is so interesting because a lot of my students will tell me like, oh my god, I did these movements itself so as a kid and then I stopped and it's so interesting because our bodies are really intuitive, like they do know, but but in culture, like we can just start shaking when you experience stress in the middle of the street. If you just started shaking afterwards IT maybe left down upon. But why not? I would love to see a world where we all, just like, did some thematic shaking after stress in public.

Well, that's actually something I wanted to talk you about, is even if you live all alone, even if you're all you know, you're a one in a room and your stressed, I think there is just this misconception that, like, I can do this because it's crazy, how yes, people think i'm crazy or is embarrassing.

And I actually literally just posted yesterday and instagram story that was a little vulnerable, but sometimes yesterday did not want to make myself breakfast. I like my inner child, was just like, I don't wanna do that. I gotten back to my walk and I know I don't me knows you need to eat, right, because you have a big day, you need to eat.

But I didn't want to do IT for myself. I want somebody else to do IT, but there is no one else to do IT for me. So I literally will say out loud like, hey, tory, I know you don't want to do this yeah, but you've gotta do IT.

We're onna fuel our body, you're going to do this. And I actually recorded myself, like talking to myself, and we got, you know, thousands of people tell us that he was really cool to see and validating and that you know that that was something they were going to start trying and and experiencing in their life. And i'm like I feel like something like this. This is the same kind of thing where even if we're a loan in our rooms or alone in our houses, IT feels embarrassing. So how do we overcome that so we can rock back and forth and we can talk to ourselves, and we can actually give ourselves what we need is supposed to feeling, I don't know, stupid or embarrass for .

doing IT totally, totally a thousand times. I love that you did that and you recorded yourself talking to people are talking to yourself and how much other people? Yeah, it's like there's like this shame of doing movement sometimes in general for people.

A lot of people are just afraid of moving or moving their bodies, or they have a fear of dancing or like looking weird. I think the best way to start to do that is to do IT privately by yourself. Everyone kind of has this like space that they go to to cry like, whether it's like your shower or you know, in your car, like like this is my safe cry space.

And so my proposal for people is to do so metics and like you're safe private space where the dots in your shower, in your car, in your room by yourself, but start by yourself because you are rocking and IT is vulnerable and you can experience crying or shaking when you're doing some other movements. And so I do think being in a private space is Better to start with. But it's interesting now when I go out, I don't like to be in crowds very much because of trauma. But if i'm in a crowd, I have all of these like little movements that i'll do that are um a little bit more culturally like appropriate that no one could would really know that i'm doing something to regulate my nerve system in that moment. But I do in public and no one anything.

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The other thing I want to to talk about, and I think this is where the shame comes in as well, we're using the words trauma. We've tasks about trauma the show many times. But when we say trauma, IT does not have to be capital tea trauma, of sexual assault or of abuse, or of of these these really big, what we would classically consider trauma IT can be little tea trauma as well.

And I am someone who has been privileged, ed, and lucky enough to not experience any of the big tea trauma. But I got plenty a little tea trauma too. So maybe talk to me about how trauma in this way is not we're not just talking about like the huge things, uh, the big tea like what do you tell someone who is like I don't feel like my experience were and seeking help. It's not like bad enough .

yeah I think acknowledging that the little tea trauma is ballet is really important because you know, if you are bully at school or if you experienced financial insecurity or any of the even though it's not like getting sexually assaulted or like going to war, IT does impact you a law and IT does prohibit you from functioning as if IT didn't happen, you know.

So essentially trauma, whether it's big tea trauma, a little tea trauma, causes you to disconnect from parts of yourself and suppress parts of yourself to keep yourself safe, right? So if, for example, you are bully a lot as a kid, maybe you work classes, right? You ve got bully a lot as a kid for wearing glasses. You might not feel as comfortable like expressing yourself out loud, being your full self at school. So you're suppressing yourself, you're suppressing your emotions and even though let's not considered big to trauma is still this suppressing of who you are authentically and it's still like emotionally you're not able to express yourself and not so has the same physiological effects, has big tea trauma, especially when that happens over a prolonged period of time. One of the .

things that we've kind of been talking about a bit, but I want to delve into more, is where do people commonly experience from in their body like if someone's listening for me, like I have recently started seeing a dietician because it's all the stress in the tramp of running a business over the past few years that showed up in my gut, in my digestive health you are mentioning like neck and shoulders for a listener, like how can they scan their body? How can they start figuring out where are they keeping their stress? Where are they storing all of that? And how can they identify that Better?

So there's different emotions that tend to get kind of stored in different places of the body. And there is an academic study that went through this. That's emotional mapping of the body.

So different emotions show up as physiological sensations and different parts of your body. So the hips are generally associated with some form of the trail. So it's like, you know a toxic relationship or a childhood abuse or unresolved trauma generally in the hips.

So you'll feel tense hips, your hibs will be clicking or popping or cracking even sometimes like sitting down, you're standing up without using your hands feels kind of difficult if you have lower back pain. That's generally like connected to feelings of not feeling worthy and not feeling supported, also can be like financial issues or working holism for lower backspin stomach stomach, he is generally connected to fear, feeling afraid, being scared. Shoulders is like pertains and responsibly.

T, ie, s, you feel like you have a lot of responsibility. E, S, with not enough social support, attention is generally like oppression. So you've experience some form of oppression in your life, whether that's systemic repression, like racism or method I.

Or you kind of grew up in a household where you weren't able to express your emotions, or your emotions were completely neglected. And then jaw is generally like someone has crossed your boundaries and you're angry about IT, but you feel you can speak up. So those are the the general areas and associations that were found in this study is my favorite .

past time at this podcast is getting read for filth and um I muted myself but while he was talking about certain areas of the body I was taking a simple water and I ended up a mile's choking .

because .

I was like all that's me um interesting okay, I just kind of file that away for later. okay. Do you see commonly, like, I think that a lot of women have tight hips, myself included, like, is there one that or two that's like, keep coming up for women all the time?

Oh yeah, women all the time, he and all the time throw neck, jaw, and they actually physiologically quite connected through your your faster, which is your connected tissue. So if you have tension in one area, a generally translated tension in the other area, biologically speaking, your hips and your jaw are the first, the first responders to any sort of threat. When you experience a threat, your so as muscle clenches is a huge muscle that connects your upper body to your pElvis to your lower body and then your own lunches as well as part of the the fight play response yeah um the .

first time ever learned about the so as was about a year and half ago and I had a massage therapies who was like, you're so as is like the titus i've ever seen and I was like, great .

yeah great.

Think for the information. I think it's yeah it's very common for women. And while you were mentioning all of those things, who said, I think jaw rate is crossing a boundaries.

Remind of me what hips was IT like. That's like, very common for women, right? We like, we don't setting cuba boundaries. What was helped?

Remind me. yeah. And he sort of like, so with so many women that I worked with you, it's like they'll be like, oh, I don't have trauma, but I did have of my serious boyfriend cheat on me and my head have felt that every sense that's the thing you know is like that betrayal, like that that betrayal of trust is like IT can cause you to be tense in your hips because that's what you're supposed to be physically intimate, you know. And if you've had that rupture, it's natural for your body to create this like racing and holding pattern to try to protect you from experiencing that again.

Yeah, one of the things you have been kind enough to share with me, and we can cut this super not comfortable or speak to your comfort level about IT um is that you realized you were in a toxic abusive relationship during the pandemic, that some of that abuse was also financial abuse. Was this a different experience physically from what you would been through before? And how did you find your way out? And through that experience .

physically, I experienced much more severe symptoms of stress and of like like a trauma response in my body. So before the academic started, we we were married, and I was living in manhattan, and I was having panic attacks every day, and I was painting every day. And I was like, I was really scared. I knew something was wrong. I went to urgent kerry.

I went to the doctor and they were like, maybe to you are working too much because I was the bread winner and like was financially supporting us so you know, it's hard when doctors tell you those things because you like, okay, well, i'm dehydrated, ted and i'm working too much like something must be wrong with me and one of my like hopes is that doctors become more uma informed so that they can even just start asking the question like, hey, are you in a dangerous situation? Are you in a bad relationship? Like just start asking some of those leading questions.

But then when the pan I make IT, I lost my job. I was teaching pologies at the time. I had moved back to california at the early twenty twenty.

And in california, all of the gyms closed, so I couldn't teach paradies anymore. And my body went into like a full on freeze where I couldn't get a bed at all. I didn't have like enough energy to make her even order food like I was. I was so shut down. And I knew that at that point, I knew that I was being financial. I knew that he was abusive, but he was the early pandemic like where you couldn't he was like stay in place, shelter in place like you weren't even allowed to go to your parents house or like a friends houser, anything so that was a really difficult position for me to be an um and I was experiencing a lot of physical symptoms.

So sorry, that happened to you. I know that unfortunately that was a huge issue during the pandemic. Was folks not been able to leave, especially women not being able to leave rebuses situations because they weren't allowed to. There was no other alternative. So what were those steps for you, both thematically, but also financially and emotionally, that helped you move through that experience, end up where you're .

at now financially when when cobi hit was when I really did a deep dive into our finances and had because prior to that, I was working like six days a week to support us um and working teaching pilato six days a week is like labor, you know it's not easy. Very physically demanding. Yeah very physically demanding.

And so I dove into our finances the first time I had time, which was at the beginning of shelter in place, and had realized that he had been regularly transfering tens of thousands of dollars out of our join account into these other accounts that he had. He was married before me, and pretty sure he had to lean on his income from his first marriage. And you, since he and I have gone divorce, his first wife reached down, mean, was like, play by play.

He did the exact same thing to me with the financial abuse isolation. Like, like, this is what he does. And he was married literally days after our divorce primaried. So you know, he's a quote of musician, but he's a professional drifter like that that his full time job, the financial abuse actually was that was really scary for me because I had you know I was applied instructors. I didn't have like a ton of money, but but I did have like thirty k and savings that I have been savings since like eighteen, I like had enough to be able to get through the pandemic and with unemployment and not be struggling, you know.

But he had transferred all that money out like I anything that I had inherit from my grandparents was gone, like everything was just gone and realizing that cause this like deep sorrow in me because he had like I had never given him access to my my like marylin account like that I had been working on something like eighteen um he like packed into my computer and got into the accounts that way and then like change the passwords and he did all this elaborate to abuse he would like. Stall, the remote access to my Sammy computer. So I was like, learning about all of this.

I didn't even know that this was a thing or that this was possible, but I was learning about all this. And so I knew we had like, no money, like we had no savings whatsoever, and I got a pretty decent size unemployment check. But he blew IT within days, even though I ve told him not to.

So I just started greeting this like emergency, like I walked to a bank because he was tracking my car too. So I left my phone home, I walked to a bank. I opens a checking in out with, like five dollars in cash that I had gotten back from groceries.

And then I was just like, any time I got gross, I just like stash five dollars and five dollars. And and I had this plan to have a certain amount before I would access the relationship. And then that, like, the physical abuse got escalated ted and got a lot, and I was really scared.

And so then I just, you know, excited much earlier and left much earlier and luckily have a brother who helped me out and I stay with my hand and on goal for a week until I found a new apartment and my brother hurt me pay for the apartment, which I would have been able to do um by myself. But in terms of rebuilding my finances, you were super helpful for me, because prior to learning about you, I had followed suit, or man who was like, pay up on your debt first and then create your emergency of funds. And he had also masked ed out my credit cards.

But like, I didn't feel good paying off on my death first when I didn't have like any, I started following you and I shifted over to sitting my emergency fund first and then paying off all the credit cards after that, which I did. And having that lake vivid in my strategy made me feel so much more secure because I was like feeling and I think there's something to be said, but like so metics and financial security, like you're really stable and safe within yourself, you know? And like having that safe feeling and not safe relationship with yourself, whether it's with money or with how you treat your body and how you treat yourself is just it's like life changing. So thank you so much.

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I have more questions about synthetics and will get to that the second. But I also, because we've talked a little bit, tell people like I have to round out your personal story. You're thriving now.

Can we talk about that? Give people a life update because you're writing a business, you're thriving. You are yeah good written in to that mother family like you're doing great yeah.

So when I was in this freeze response and not able to get out of bed, I my goal was to do one systematic exercise per day. And then I thought of myself as successful and I was like, i'm gna film in, and i'm going to posted on tiktok where I have zero followers and no one will ever see this. But IT was like my way of keeping myself accountable.

And I was so like, you know, I was like, you could tell something was wrong like I had like bags under my eyes like I just looked like I was struggling because I really was um and I started posting on tiktok and within two months I had ten thousand followers and like so many other people were feeling the same way and going through the same things. And so people like, hey, do you, you know, do you coach, do to and I like all make these online courses with the sequences that I do for stress and trauma release and for a nervous system. And i've taught for fifteen years with, you know, pollutes.

And i've talked some matic s for all my politics client, so as like i'll do what I do with them in the studio, and I just make that into a course. So I did that. I launched the courses on to, to, to, to and more.

Now a eight figure business is just blown up like it's gone mega viral. We have a really high success rate with our courses. And just like super, super, super happy with how everything went and came from such an authentic place of me struggling and sharing that struggle in a real way with people as so .

many successful businesses do. Let s congrats vocular tion. That's so amazing.

I'm just so happy for you. Thank you. And you should be so proud of yourself.

help? Yes, i'm just okay. I was really excited.

I can't keep talking more right. Okay, me too. I like, never would.

It's, it's so incredible. I'm just, i'm so happy for you. okay? We talk in the show about money trauma.

How might this manifest when someone is feeling anxious or stressed about money? Where does this manifest in your body? What might start happening?

Money rama, like lower back, is lower back pain that lasted for longer than three months, is super connected to worth and money. Feeling like you're worrying about finances all the time. Also sleep issues too, if people are having a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep or they're waking up at like three in the morning, in the morning with racing thoughts gets another way that money trauma often manifests physically. And then behaviorally, you're talk about a lot of this, how it's not spending on things that bring you joy. You know you're so worried because maybe you have gone through moments of having less than that, you start hoarding money and you are not enjoying IT at all.

yeah. And I think that it's very easy to have any sort of stress, may aniseed, but specifically financial stress. We know it's the number one stressor for americans is financial stress. And then that themes, again, like such a so rebate issue of numbers and money, right? But like that can show up that scarcity, that, uh, fear around money, that shame around money, can manifest in sick too. So are there ways to use semantic killing? And I am assume in the answers, yes, when engaging with finances, is there something to like help settle you even before you like sit down to look at your budget or like log into your student loans?

Absolutely yeah that that we can do one together. So sitting down, we do together. These are all butterflies, taps you across your rest and place your hands on your shoulders.

I kind of look like a mummy for audio listeners.

That's where I map. Yes, we're position. And then you're top your right hand, right hand, right? Let you will go little faster and you can do medium pressure so you can feel IT. But you're not like hitting yourself.

And then as you do this, you're gonna keep tapping in this even with them, you know, just notice if your bEllies clenched raght now if the sitters clenched and if the jar is lunched and i'll do about five more taps on each side when you're ready, will just bring that to a pause. So that is, uh, systematic exercises, really simple. You can do that in the carpool line. You can do that, you know, before you open your M X spill, like whatever you want to do, whatever you want to do, IT and uses by lateral simulation, which is the right left, which acted ates your paris of pothead nervous system, which is the rest, and digest. So I just brings your names step out of fight, flight out of sympathetic activation and turns up the rest and digest part of your nervous system, which is called the paris sympathetic nervous system.

I'm not just saying this because we're online. I feel like actually legitimately feel good. I love and just like, uh, I was kind of nice and just like IT was very soothing.

IT was very nice. Okay, in the theme of exercises, there's a reason you all that we're released in this during election week. okay? I am feeling anxiety.

I think everybody listening probably feel some anxiety about the election and even maybe some light past feelings from the election coming up for us. Is there another century exercise to help us connect our nervous systems over the next couple days? Is to imagine the I would be helpful as there anything .

else that you would suggest yeah so this one's great if you feel irritated, annoy, frustrated, super anxious. And so I feel like it's perfect for election week. So you're onna, grab a pillow and you're as dead with your feet in like a sumo russia position with a soft band in your knees and then you lift the pillow over your head and then you slam the pillow onto the floor.

You keep your back long so you don't hear your back at all. Then you grab the pillow, lifted back up, soft bend in your knees, belly butter and told your spines you don't have your back and then just slam you just thrown the pillow onto the floor and you can repeat that like five to ten times. And you'll start maybe you feel frustrated or annoyed or you know angry, but then by the end, you're kind of laughing like you've got in essentially what to expect any anger release exercise does.

She's gonna go do IT what any anger release exercise does. This gives you like a safe container. Yes.

for, again, all you only listers. I grabbed him.

Yes, she's going to do IT.

I'll talk to you through, okay, here, go that I can make sure i'm in of cord so I .

don't like rip my C O. perfect.

okay? So sumer stance.

yeah sumer stance, soft and in your knees. Look 来 over your head as high as you can and you're just thorough IT down with force throw row IT down。 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why is this so immediately katheline.

You can throw down as hard as you want. You even let me go .

feel so good, right? We've been talking about with our team how we need a rage room.

like I need A T V. yes.

So when we get off from doing about fifty minutes of this, okay, what I was helpful.

Yes, I love a nice job. The reason why those are so effective is because we don't really have like a culturally appropriate way of releasing anger, especially as women like special. And so those exercises give you this really clear container physically for releasing anger.

But because they're contained with the pillow, there is another one with twisting a wash cloth. You're not going to hurt your body while you're doing IT. You're not gona hurt anyone else emotionally and you still get to express that anger or that frustration. So you're not suppressing you either.

I don't know if this one is thematic, but it's something I learned in thear school, which is just to like shove the energy into the floor. Do you know what i'm talking about? Like I get demolition because that looks ridiculous, but it's the like like it's just like shopping energy and in the floor. That's one that we had all of the time during my time and my theater major in college.

I love that there. There's actually a lot of cross over with sona tics and late ancient forms of movements. And you know, I started off as a dancer, so as interesting as I was learning.

So modus, so like, oh, this is really similar to, like west african dance. So in soma tics does acknowledge that IT does pull from, you know, more like ancient forms of movement, because we all use to dance around the cm fire. We all used to sing. And these are really natural ways of releasing stress and releasing and like spiking your feel good harmons too. That was so crathie everybody.

I'm not again, i'm not just saying that for the show and literally gonna I like my arms will go to my wife feels like .

a workout yeah I thought about bringing in different exercise in that was like more suthing. But I was like i'm going to bring in one that's suthing and then one that's catha oh.

that's rage. All I just got off. We literally just recorded an episode an hour ago talking about project twenty twenty five.

So I really gna use that after we finish recording that oppose. And now you have IT in your back poking. No, it's beautiful. It's lovely.

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Rocket money dark com such F F pod. Okay, you're working on a book and a fund to help women break free from nurses stistick relationships. Can you share more about that?

Yeah the book that i'm working on is with harper Collins and IT should be out in twenty twenty, twenty, twenty five, twenty, twenty twenty six. The book is essentially a bit about my story, about sona tics, kind of what are they? Why do they work so well for us and trauma healing.

And the third section of the book are a bunch of exercises, almost like an encyclical pedia exercises that you can use to release different emotions and to release stress out of your body. The cool thing about the book is um and the the courses that I teach us, it's Normally not just like one exercise that you want to do. You want to have like a sequence of a few exercises so that you have enough duration that your nervous system registers the change.

That's how sorts to get more integrated long term. Where are doing one exercise will provide you relief. But when you do them in a sequence, a specific sequence IT just starts to have a more long term effect.

And then the fund that i'm working on is a dream. It's not 会 a reality yet。 But I have the dream of helping women with find like emergency grants when they're leaving nursery stic relationships or toxic relationships, whether they have kids or not. There are a lot of funds out there for women who have kids um and there's a lot of funds out there for a women who want to go back to school if they're leading domestic violence, if they're leaving a beers.

But the issue though is that there are a lot of women were experiencing abuse or domestic violence, don't want to go back to school or who don't have kids, and they they still need emergency money to help them transition because the lawyer fees is like the like getting a restraining waters, like eight hundred dollars, like there's a lot of financial things that you have to do to get yourself safe after that situation. And I really want to help women. Nobody thought, because for me, I was really truthful, and I wouldn't. We've been able to do that if my brother .

has helped me well, please let me know if I can support in any way financially or otherwise. That sounds incredible and is so so needed. And we've talked a lot, unfortunately, about financial abuse on the show and in my work because you're exactly right and am so sorry that you had to experience that.

But it's true. It's very hard to get out of a toxic, abusive of situation when you don't have money, when you don't have the financial suitability and especially if your partner has financially abused. You two has limited access to money, has stolen credit cards from you, has tanked your own credit. It's very, very difficult to navigate your way out of IT.

Yeah and you're scared of that person, right? You're physically afraid of them. You're emotionally afraid of them. And so that's how people get stuck as because they both like practically and emotionally, can't get out.

If you could leave us with one key piece of info, advice about the connection between trauma, the body and healing. What would I be .

that your bodies not supposed to, you feel like shit all the time? And I think like we have, we have this cultural story that after thirty, our bodies are exposed to feel like you and that's just what IT is and we just eat at will all day and we feel like that. And but your bodies not supposed to feel like you like that until like so it's not particulates all the time.

And you can even if even if you been through a lot of stress or a lot of trauma, even if you're and currently in a stressful job right now, you can learn tools to release the stress out of your body so that you're not holding on to so much stress and so much trauma and so many emotions in your body. So you can learn the practical tools to manage stress. You don't have to be stress free, but you can release IT out of your body, and your body will feel so much Better and you definitely deserve to feel at ease in your body. That's where you live list .

m so excited to go buy on your courses because I need more pillow throwing in my life so thank you. Um where can people find out more about you and your work uh which is so incredible .

and so moving our website is the work I work and we have our courses on the website, the release stress and strain, a thirty day courses, our course that most people start with and um you can also buy me an instagram at the work at which with a little underscore at the end and if you comment release on any of my um posts on instagram, will dm you uh three one minute exercise that you can do to release some stress out of your body in bed I love I don't .

have to get out bit to do at that the time. Yes, thank you. Thank you for your work. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for um following us and listening to our advice means means a lot to thank you.

I'm such a huge fan. Thank you so much for your work and IT has impacted my life in such a great way and I just love to work me .

you're doing to thank you so much to liz, the work out which for joining us. You can find her at the workout, which underscore on instagram or the workout watchdog com. Her best selling courses are at the workout watchdog com. Get up vote.

Thank you for listening to financial feminist a her first hundred k podcast financial feminist is hosted by me, tory, done up produced by Christian fields, and to me, sugar ant, researched by sera shorts, no audio and video engineering by a listen at half marketing and Operations by crea patel and AManda. A few special thanks to our team at her first hundred k kale N S. Sprinkle, marsha a Taylor chill sah bona ray wong, eliza mocumbi, claron on dara england and Megan Walker, promotional graphics by mary, string photography by sara wolf and the music by jona on sound a huge thanks to the entire her first hundred k community for supporting the shell. For more information about financial feminist, her first hundred k our guests and episode shows visit financial feminine podcast doctor, if you're confused about your personal finances and you're wonnerful where to start, go to her hundred k docs lush quiz for a free personalized money plan.