200. How to Buy Happiness
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My eyebrows are finally growing back. By the way, this is, this is my rice. To anybody under the age of twenty.

Don't pluck your eyebrows, especially at the corners. Do not do that. I overplus my, yeah, when I was fifteen. And then I didn't want to wait for them to grow back. So I kept plucking the same spot. And if you're on video, you can see it's like, great here and I packed them all the way back to here and then you just have to keep plucking them or else that looks ridiculous. And then probably three, four years ago, I was like, I need to stop doing this, and I need to let them grow back.

And so I went through this one little regrow period when i'm starting to finally get little whispers here that if I drag them over and press them actually look like I my advice to everybody, don't overpower your eyebrows until you're a hundred percent sure that that is the shape you want your eyebrows to look for pretty much the rest of your god dem life. Hi, financial feminist. This is episode two hundred.

We've done technically way over two hundred episodes because we've done bonus episodes and we've done like exclusive episodes that we haven't like considered to be like directly part of the canon. Today, we are recording our two hundred hundred episode to handle. This feels very exciting.

We started the show and may of twenty twenty one. And at the time the show came out, we only did twelve episodes for our first season. And yet we were the number one business podcast when we devote.

We continue to be the only women hosted women focus show in the top thirty, maybe in the top forty for like six months after the show, first aid. And it's just spent a really incredible journey. I think a lot of you have discovered our work because of the financial feminist podcast.

IT is the thing that I probably get most often when I they're out in public, out in event is I know you from the podcast. I listen to your podcast. So if you're an alt but a goodby, we really, really appreciate all of your supports.

If you've been here months, years, we couldn't do the show without you. And if you're knew of the show as a fairly recently, we're really excited to have you. I just want to thank, before we get into the rest of the episode, that I have a whole team behind me who does this.

I get to sit on a mike and record and talk to really cool people because we have a whole team at her first hundred k that helps make the show possible. So I reminder that when you listen to the show and when you support our work, you're not just supporting the ability for me to have these conversations and to educate millions and millions of women. You also give us the opportunity as a team to employ women to produce the show.

We are entirely women produced and women LED. And you just supporting the show, subscribing, sharing, that has allowed us to do two hundred plus episodes and hopefully two hundred more. So we just are very, very thankful for real.

So for our hundred episode, we celebrated our community. And for our two hundred episode, we're going to celebrate our community. So we're building a new way to experience the her first hundred k community.

I'm not going to tell you what IT is, but it's coming out in january, and we're really excited about IT. We've been working for literally like nine months on this very exciting project. You can make sure to know about IT first at her first hundred k doc com slashed secret dash weight list.

We can't wait to see you and show you everything we've been working on, so get her first hundred K T com flash secret dash weight list and you will be the first to know what we've been building the launching in january OK. Let's take some voice mails. I like to listen to these cold and get some reactions.

These are some wins from our community, and we always like celebrating you all before we proceed to the rest. The episode. Okay, this first ones from Emily.

Hey, tory, my name is Emily and i'm from Austin, texas.

Um my recent financial win is that just the week after I picked up a copy of your book, the financial feminist, I went into a final round interview for basically my dream job which was very quickly followed by a job offer um and thanks to a year chapter on salary negotiation I was able to confidently negotiate ten thousand dollars above and beyond the original salary offer as well as secure some amazing benefits including a ten percent for one k match unlimited to and even a thousand dollar company contribution to N H. sa. So thanks to you and your sage advice. I finally feel like for the first time in my life at forty two years old, I am able to double down on my retirement savings and make a very comfortable life for myself. Thank you so much for what you do.

Yeah, everybody, congratulations. First of all, get in a brand new job that feels like a dream job. And then ten thousand dollars more and ten percent four one came match on a budget of other cool benefits.

Yeah, sounds like that total compensation package is pretty high and we love that. And I love that you took the negotiation chair the book and use those resources and made that happen. congratulations. That's fantastic.

And like you said, the cool thing about making more money is that you get to do more things with the money, like pay off your dead or prioritize your retirement or make sure that you're taking care of. And I love that for you. congratulations.

So huge win. Okay, let's take our next voice. mee. This one is from quindel.

This is a great opportunity for me to actually reflect them that I ve had a lot of financial winds this past year, even though I still would like to see you my progress. I was able to negotiate um my wager work, I was able to get a promotion and then multiple reasons as well as paying off both of my personal credit cards. Um so that actually is a huge win when I sit and actually so yeah, thank you for giving me the chance to celebrate.

We got another salary negotiation and paint off two credit cards. Wonder that's huge and I think this is also a good time. Let her be a reminder to you all as well.

When we get in a thick of IT, we like, forget to celebrate ourselves. And we've talked about this on the show before with guests. When we set goals and then we achieve them, it's kind of like, okay, cool. Were under the next thing.

Please take an opportunity to reflect on what is went well for you financially over the past year and actually sit and celebrate that, both because you deserve to be celebrated, but also, if you do want your progress to be most effective, you have to reflect on the progress psychologically. Your brain needs a reason to keep going, needs a reason to feel motivated. And if you don't realize your own wins and you don't sit with them for a little bit, your brain doesn't think anything happened.

And it's very hard to keep going on your financial journey. So this is a great opportunity. Take IT like wonderland to sit and actually go like, okay, what did I accomplish this year? What are my money wins for the year? And not only to celebrate yourself, but also use IT as encouragement to keep going.

So congrats to you. I love that. Okay, our last voice mail.

this is from js. Hey, just wanted to share a financial when i'm in the process of switching jobs. And because I use the strategies that tory teachers, I was able to sign a contract today for fifty thousand more than the next time after I received.

And in total, my salaries is increasing by one hundred thousand per year compared to my last job. ow. I'm also in the process of interviewing for a second position as a full time professor.

And if i'm able to secure that position, i'll be making even more. And i'm so freaking thankful that I found her first one hundred K I would not have had these strategies if I hadn't and you're helping me move into a financially secure future. And i'm so thankful.

uh, daddy professor, okay, everybody's negotiating more money. And I fucking love IT. That was the theme of these winds today, one hundred thousand more.

That is like life changing amounts of money. So that's just amazing. congratulations.

And I hope you become a professor. I hope you get the promotion you want to look at. Everybody just melt.

We making more money. We, we've fuck in love IT. Let this be inspiration to you all. Negotiate your salary, learn more money, and then learn what to do without money once you have more of IT. If you're trying to grow a small business, you need a website.

You need a easy to use, beautiful website that works without you having to have all of this knowledge about how to code. And square space is the audience st. choice.

We were square space users from day one. They were the first investment I ever made in my business. And there is a reason for that because it's really easy to use.

Their analytic tool is a great Fisher. So I know where and how people are finding us. Flexible payment options means that I can take any sort of payment card cards, paypal, apple pay.

I can also send even campaigns from my square space website. You can sell content products on a beautiful website all on your own terms. You also see analytic tools and square space back, and so that you can measure your online formers and know where people are coming from. But the best part about square space is you can use IT without even knowing how to code.

If you want a free trial of square space, you can go to square space stock com to sign up, but when you're ready to launch, you can go to square space dock comm flash F F pod to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. A lot of people's favorite budgeting APP changed last year. I can't mention IT, but you know the one IT like, got bad and then IT changed and everybody says that sucks.

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Rocket mony's dashboard gives you a really nice clear view of earlier expenses, all of your money across all of your accounts, so you can create a personalized budget with custom categories. You can see your monthly spending trends so you know exactly where your moneys going. Stop with seeing money on things you don't use.

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money dot com. Flash F, F, pod. That's rocket money dot com, such. F, F, pod, rocket money dot com such F F pod. So for our two hundred episode, we are gona talk about something that this entire show is basically here for.

And based on I had a poster recently that went viral on both tiktok and instagram, and this episode is kind of inspired by that post, which is that if you're unhappy, I have the solution for you. Let's call IT our solution. When we talk about money, when we talk about becoming financially educated, when we talk about personal finance in general, IT is very easy to believe that this is a niche topic.

It's very easy to look at personal finance as like a gena right as uh, collection of books, a collection of podcast, a collection of instagram accounts, a collection of radio shows. And yes, i'm looking at one particular person in that and think, okay, this is great and this is good information and it's this very niche topic. We know because you listen to the show and because we have these conversations a lot and because we just listen to all of these wins from our community, that personal finance is not niche.

IT is not for a particular group of people. IT is not the thing that feels like this exclusive club that no one else is allowed in. And that also is not broadly applicable to everyone.

As you and I know, when we talk about money, we talk about all of the options that money can provide us. When we talk about personal finance, we talk about not just excess priests and a number on a bank account and your stock gains. We talk about how money can be used as a tool to build a life that you love and a life that you want.

Yet society has tried to convince us that personal finance becoming financially educated is not a broader conversation. IT is not part of overall wellness. And IT is definitely not for a women.

IT is definitely not for people of color, for queer folks, for disabled people, for anybody who isn't a sist gender strait weight man. We know Better. We know that personal finance, becoming financially educated is our best former protest.

We know that becoming financially educated means, again, not just a number in a bank account, but options and choice says, I think people won a label, personal finance as this niche thing because, well, many reasons. One, we weren't taught IT in school, so IT doesn't feel super applicable or important. Two, it's been gate capt.

From us for years by this system, the patria archy, that wants to keep us from having this information. And finally, IT feels niche because, no, not many people are making the connection between money and options or money and choices. And only when you start to experience in your own life, the choices in the options that you get when you're financially stable does the connection become really clear.

So when I talk about getting rich, when I talk about having money, when i'm talking about pursuing wealth unabashedly, what I mean by that is having the options in the choices to live a stable hole, thriving life. I don't just want and never in a bank account. I don't want money just to have money.

I want what money can buy me. I want the choices and the flexibility in the options that money can buy me. And the lie that money can't buy you happiness is other bullshit. That's just not true.

Yes, the idea is true that if you buy a furori in your depressed, it's not gonna make you happy, right? But the whole money can about you happiness, smith, when you believe that you are believing a lies on the patriarchy, to keep you playing small, because if you don't pursue money, because you think it's wrong, if you don't pursue money because you don't think I can make you happy, if you don't persue money because you're worried that you're going to be labelled greedy or gosh, or impolite, or you think that rich people are growth generally. What only happens is that IT affects and hurts you.

IT doesn't heard anybody else that shot hurts you. So when I talk about pursuing wealth, pursuing money, again, i'm not just doing that for a stack of government issue paper that doesn't get me anything. I want what money can buy me.

When we're talking about these options, we have so many examples. I can give the examples for my own life. First, when I had money, I was able to leave a toxic job with a boss that made me feel every day like I was worthless, made me feel every day like I was scraping by by this kinna a teeth.

Having money allowed me to escape the deep anxiety that I felt walking into a job where I spent forty plus hours a week. Having money meant being able to start a business and to grow a business, to be able to employ other people, to be able to help impact millions of you, to be able to grow. I am sustained a movement of advocacy of.

Focus on something that I could see made real change. Having money meant that I am able to go to therapy and go to a good therapy who does not take my insurance and I have to pay out of pocket, but i'm getting the care that I need. Having money means being able to move out of a six hundred square foot apartment where I lived for four years, especially during covet, and ran an entire business from, and be able to have a bedroom that is just my dedicated office.

Having money means that i'm able to get potentially life saving health care that I might need in the future, including, but not limited to, in abortion, uh, birth control, access to the best doctors. Having money means that I know that not just thirty year old me will be protected, but also forty year old me, fifty year old me, sixty five old me. And if I choose to have children, that my family will be protected as well.

Having money means when I was super, super stressed about the election and about the state of the world, I could literally just pull out my credit card and donate to the campaigns and the kind of policies I wanted to see more, more of, and donate to causes and organizations in my community. Having money means having options. Having money means that you have a safe, dependable car to get to work everyday.

Having money means having options so that you can take care of Ailing family members. And how to afford IT is the last thing on your mind. Having money means having options, and that means the ability to leave an abusive relationship that you don't feel safe and anymore.

All of these examples are from straight, from our community, from women that I know, whose names I know, whose lives have gotten not only Better, but absolutely transformed and changed because they have money. When you have money, everything in your life changes you never have to see in a situation that doesn't respect you. You can say yes to the things you want to say yes to, and you can say no to the things you wanted say no to.

You don't ever have to give an answer that feels in authentic or that you don't want to a do just because you need the money or just because you don't want to miss this opportunity. When we talk about having money, IT means having traces. Every option opens up to you when you have money.

And not only does your life start looking really different, IT starts to completely change. Because if you want anything in life, a different job of business, children buying a house again, going to therapy, being able to donate to causes you believe, and being able to move at a when being able to feel safe and and whole and joyful, you need money. That's why I don't understand why it's considered red, this niche topic.

And I think that's changing due to my work, due to other people's work in this space. Because financial wellness is wellness, you can't have the rest of IT. You can't go to the gem.

If you don't have money, you can eat good food. If you don't have money, you can't go to a good therapist. If you don't have money, and if you're a member of marginalized group, this is your best form of protest, is having money, having a financial education.

Because I need you to .

be uncontrollable. An uncontrollable woman is the patrie archy's worst nightmare. And yes, I am quoting myself from my own good book.

But an uncontrollable woman is the patriotic ky, worst nightmare. The Peter key wants to keep you controllable. IT wants you to confirm, IT wants you to hate your life.

IT wants you to feel broke and depressed and sad and anxious and like you have no agency. And the best thing you can do to fight the patriarchy is to be uncontrollable. And the best way to get uncontrollable, have your own good day money.

So how do we actually do this? We have to become obsess with personal finance. We have to be obsessed in a healthy way with learning everything we possibly can about money. And we're recording this after the election. We're recording this knowing that we're about to embark on four plus years of more Donald trump.

I need you to become obsessed with learning everything you possibly can about how to save more money, about how to pay off more debt, about how to invest, about how to negotiate more money, like we just heard from our three community members. Because I need you whole, stable, joyful content so that we can work to fight a system together. Because you can't fight the system when you are broke, when you are depressed, when you are scared, when you are sad, when you are overworked and tired and burned out.

You can't, you also can't show up, as we started about on the election, post election episode, you can show up as love in the room if you are not do and well, if you are not whole. And I think this is one of the myths that is so pervasive is that we're taught as women to be constantly self less. We are taught to be constantly putting other people before ourselves, which is a beautiful, lovely traits, right? And also, it's the thing that burns us out and that leads us feeling like any decision we make for ourselves, even if IT is to Better our own lives, so that other people can also be OK.

That feels selfish, wrong. If you are still holding on to the belief that pursuing wealth is wrong or is selfish, I needs you to let that go. I needs you to let that go as we had into next year because you, again, stable and content and well fed and I mean, literally and metaphorically, is the best fucking middle finger to a society in a system that wants to keep you feeling powerless, that wants to keep you feeling controllable.

What is the future hold for business? Well, if you ask nine experts, you'll get ten answers, maybe inflations up or it's down rates or razor or fall. And really, we just need a Christal wall to be able to do IT. Does seba, what's gonna go on in the economy and in business until that Crystal ball rises? Over forty thousand businesses have future proof their business with the sweet by oracle, the number one cloud E R P, bringing accounting, financial management, inventory, hr into one fluid platform.

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So whether your companies earning millions or even hundreds next week helps you respond to immediate chAllenges and see your biggest opportunities. Speaking of opportunity, downland, the cfs guide to A I and machine learning at next week dot com such F F pod the guy is free for you at next sweet dark harm such F F pod next sweet dark calm such F F pod I love for its my favorite and it's truly is autumn is my favorite the leaves are falling and football and how we and it's sweat weather, it's sweater weather. And I have sweaters from queens and know the best sweater ever.

Queens is known for their wrong golly and kashmir sweaters and they're fifty dollars. You they're fifty bucks. Queen's items are Priced fifty to eighty percent less than similar brains.

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That's Q U I N C E dot com, such A F F I to get free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns queen stock com such S S pod. I have a very cool job where I get to interview industry experts. I get to ask them the questions that I have and learn from them.

And that's really cool. But most people don't have a podcast. Most people don't eat to interview thought leaders and authors and change makers.

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Right now our listeners get an additional tempering on off any annual membership at master class dot com, such F F pod. And every new membership comes with a thirty day money back here. And t so if you don't like IT no, where you got thirty days to get your money back, that's fifteen percent off at master class dark calm sah F F pod.

Master class dark calm flash F F pod. So in the spirit of a financial education, be in our best former protest. You need to think about the diet you feed yourself.

And i'm not just meaning physical here. I'm talking about what sort of information you are feeding yourself, as I mentioned on the post election episode, I am not listening to the news all that often. I personally have unsubscribed even from podcast that I think are well produced and well informed because I was doing too much.

I was listening to too much election and news content, and I was stressing me out. And it's not effective. It's not helpful. It's the maga rip tide.

So i'm thinking now about what sort of media can I consume that fills me up, that doesn't deplete me, that doesn't make me feel scared or make me feel powerless or make me feel worried, but instead reminds me and teaches me things. I like to think. This show is one of those things for you.

I sometimes go back and listen to my own show because I need to hear IT again, either from past me or from a guest. What podcast are you listening to? What books are you reading? I don't read a lot of development books. I read very smt because that helps me read charge, that helps me feel joyful and present so that I can go do this work elsewhere. And when we're talking specifically about financial education.

you're not following .

us on instagram already at her first k. Go follow us. If you're not following other people in the space who are talking about money as a form of protest, that's a great place to start. If you're not reading books and not taking this seriously, please let this be an opportunity for you to take this seriously.

I need you to become obsessed with this thing because every other aspect of your life unlocks when you learn how to save money, when you learn how to pay off your credit cards or your student loans, when you learn the strategies to invest and build your wealth, when you learn how to start a business or to negotiate your salary, or to how to find a job that compensates you fairly. If we get our financial shit together, all of the other shit togethers fall in place. So when we titled this episode or when I go on instagram and talk about buying happiness, what we really mean is being able to buy those options for yourself.

We don't mean consuming more. We don't mean buying this. One thing that, you know, tiktok is promise will make you look hotter or be happier or get to a an or whatever. We're not talking about that. We are talking about using a financial education to have agency in our lives, to have freedom in our lives, to feel like you can take on any situation that arises because you have the money, you have the flexibility.

And in a system on a good day, that makes us feel small and powerless, and especially in a system that I think is about to get a whole lot worse, this is your best former protest against that system, is to learn everything you post can about personal finance, to learn everything you possibly can about battering your money, and then using that information to not only Better your life, but to Better communities around you. Talk about money with your friends. That is an act of protest, negotiating your salary.

Act of protest, saving an emergency fund, act to protest listening to our pocket, or someone else podcast that talks about money after protest. Because we also know that all of this information has largely been game kept for us. And like I said before, there's a reason for that.

There is a reason why personal finance education has felt niche. There's a reason why personal finance education has largely to spend for this gender raight White men. And if so, they can continue having options and choices in a society that they built. So if I encourage you to do one thing, as we round out this year and as we had into next year, I want you to think about the diet you're consuming, what information you are getting and who is coming from and how it's being delivered, and think about what .

you can do in a .

sustainable way to learn everything you can about Better in your money. Because truly, if you want to be happy, if you want to feel content, if you want to feel safe, having money is the best solution for that. IT is the best solution. IT doesn't fix .

everything.

but IT is the best solution. I and way happier .

now that .

I have money. I am way more content now that I have money. I am in relationships because .

I want .

to be there, not because i'm forced to be there. I am dating my partner, knowing that I will never have to be financially dependent on him. I show up in our business knowing that we can make strategic decisions that are sometimes difficult.

Because we have money and we have flexibility. I can buy myself nice things and like i've avoided saying that until now because I I wanted get my point across. But also like having money means that you get us to hate in night or hotels and get to like buy yourself nice things every once in a while. And that is also joyful and lovely in a society that wants to, again, make you believe that you're not worth.

And again, I get to throw money at causes.

I believe that I literally did this other day. I just SAT down with my credit card was like, okay, this place, okay, this money, this place, this money, this place, this money, this women's charity, this money, like IT, was so freeing. So as we move under twenty, twenty five and beyond, as we move in to this very unpredictable my escape, I need you getting money.

I need you educating yourself about money, educating your community about money, coming together to talk about money. Because IT is your best format protest as we ran out our two under the episode. Thank you, financial feminist for being here.

Thank you for the support of our work. I think more than ever, shameless plug e we're really gonna reale voices. We're really gonna need women voices in the business and finance space talking about systemic oppression, talking about money as a former protest.

And you listening to the show, sharing IT, discussing IT with your friends, is a the best way you can support our work. And we really appreciate IT. We're really excited for two hundred plus more episodes.

Thank you for being here. Go get money, babs. Go get money. Thank you. bye. Thank you for listening to financial feminist a her first hundred cap pocket financial feminist is hosting by me, tory done up produced by Christian fields and to mitigate researched by sara shorts ino audio and video engineering by a listen metpath marketing and Operations by Green a and AManda a few special things to our team at her first hundred K K on sprinkle marsh nica a Taylor chill sah bona ray wong, I was a bit cucumber clear corona, dean england and Megan Walker. Promotional graphics by mary Brown, photography by sara wolf and the music by jona and sound a huge thanks to the entire for first hundred k community for supporting mell for more information about financial ministers first hundred k our guest and episodes tes visit financial minus podcast docs if you're confused about your personal finances and you're wondering where to start, go to her first hundred k doc com a quiz for a free personalized money plan.