There goes my tire- the mindset we need for adversity
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I just remember thinking to myself, holy shit, there goes my tire. This isn't good. Welcome to Chasing the Awesome Life, your weekly guide to making life a little bit more awesome. Because we all have goals and dreams, but yet the struggle is oh so real. So take a little time to equip yourself with the tools and the inspiration to be just a little bit more awesome in every aspect of your life.

There's no topic I won't cover in this podcast. From kids to college to the joys and the struggles, it's all awesome if you choose to chase it. So get ready to take some notes and take a little more awesome action. This is Chasing the Awesome Life. So it may sound like, holy, there goes my tire. It's something that would have been heard at a NASCAR race or a stock car race, but

That actually happened to me in October of 2002. And I want to tell you this story because I've been thinking about it a lot lately and what I learned from it back when I was about 16 years old, 17 actually. And the way that this experience happened

kind of started to mold and shape me into the mindset that I choose to have oftentimes when the fit hits the shan. So there I was in October of 2002 driving a 1995 Toyota Tacoma, the Taco as I like to call it.

And the Tacor was like a forest green color. It cost me about $2,500. I purchased it myself when I was 16 years old. It was my very first car, my first love. It was a beaut, Clark. It was a beaut. And really, truly, absolutely loved that car. Took fantastic care of it. Unfortunately, it didn't always take care of me.

So I remember this experience. I was driving to a soccer game and my first job as a 14-year-old, I worked for a gentleman named Carlton. I refereed soccer.

And it was an absolute blast. Loved it. I enjoyed playing soccer, but I loved refereeing it even more. And I was driving to this soccer match. I was 16, 17 years old. And I remember at the time, the cell phone that I had, it was more like a brick, but I had this cell phone. And I literally only used it to tell my parents if I was going somewhere and when I got there.

And that's really about it. It didn't serve any other purpose for me other than a paperweight and something that didn't fit in my pocket. I had to always have it in a backpack. Never fit in a pocket. The struggle was real back then.

But I told my parents I was leaving to go to a soccer game to referee that morning. I had a whole morning full of games to referee. I left at about 8 o'clock. And as I was driving down the road, I'm driving to my soccer match. I hear this clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, the entire ride.

And I remember thinking to myself, my parents don't want me to call while I'm driving. So hopefully I'll make it to the field. I make it to the field. I call my dad. He says, you know what? Was it really loud? He's asking me all these questions. Neither of us really know anything about cars. Sorry if you're listening to this, dad, but you don't know anything about cars and neither do I. We still don't. That's why we have mechanics. Everyone's an expert at something. Cars, not us. So he says...

Was it like wobbling? I said, no, it's just this really loud, like clanging noise. I rolled the windows down. This is like a crank window. I rolled them down. I couldn't tell what it was. He said, well, you know, you don't have any flat tires, like everything's okay. And we had just had my car in the shop, like the week prior, we had like all the, you know, routine maintenance sort of stuff done to it. And it felt like what I spent on that routine maintenance was my entire soccer refereeing paycheck. And yeah,

Thought there can't be anything seriously wrong with this and we just got it back from the shop. He says I'm sure it's fine Ref your games come home. So about two o'clock that afternoon. I'm done refereeing games. I've had my lunch I've I've reffed all day. I'm hot. I'm sweaty get back in the taco and I'm driving home I got 15 minutes to get home and I am on this road in in the

town, the county where I grew up. It's called Route 4. Route 4 is actually, eventually, for anyone not from Maryland where I'm from, eventually if you ride in, Route 4 is technically Pennsylvania Avenue. It rides all the way into the White House. Kind of crazy. But down where I live, Route 4 is a four-lane road with a grass median in the middle of the road. Pretty major highway. About 55 miles per hour is the speed limit. 70 miles per hour is what most people go. So,

I'm driving down the road and I'm still hearing this noise and I'm thinking okay like you got you got five ten minutes left to get home like let's just get home everything's gonna be okay and as I'm driving it was like all of a sudden there was this quiet and I thought huh it stopped what I didn't realize was that the quiet was actually the calm before the storm y'all so

As I've been telling this story, if you know anything about cars, you probably realize what's actually happening. When I took my car into the shop a week prior, we had the tires rotated. The front left tire did not have the lug nuts tightened with, I don't even know what the thing is, you know the thing they use in NASCAR, the air wrench, whatever it's called. Whoever tightened it didn't tighten them with the machine, the wrench. They tightened them by hand.

So what I had been hearing, this loud clanging noise, was the lug nuts, which hold your tire on, clicking back and forth.

When I heard the silence, that was because there were no longer any lug nuts left on my car, y'all. And that was officially the calm before the storm before literally you saw and I felt at the exact same time the entire front left of my car do about a three foot dip. And when I say dip, it was more like a slam, boom, down into the ground. And all of a sudden I hear, ah!

This loud screeching noise. And I hold on to the wheel and I look up and y'all, holy shit, I'm telling you, my tire, my front left tire was going down across the median into the other side of the road. Cars are swerving out of the way. It was insane.

absolutely insane it was the wildest thing I've seen or had seen at that time of my life on the roads and I held onto that steering wheel for dear life slowly my car stopped I didn't brake it stopped on its own I didn't really steer but kind of just rode off to the side of the road luckily did not crash

And I thought, oh my God, what am I going to do? It was absolutely wild. Um, and I just, I didn't, I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't panic. I just remember like thinking to myself, this is really happening and Latin, almost like laughing to myself as it was happening. Um,

And there were some things that happened immediately after my tire fell off and went across the other side of the road. One, thank God nobody got hit by the tire. I literally watched other cars swerve out of the way of it. It was wild. Um,

But I look back on it now and I realize what I learned in that experience in that moment shaped my mindset. Things go wrong to all of us and the tire flies off. And when the tire flies off, when the shit hits the fan, life happens and suddenly it feels like you're out of control.

But the cool thing is you're never fully out of control, right? I never let go of that steering wheel. Was I truly in control of my car? No, but I felt like I was in control and I was controlling my thoughts and I chose how I felt about it all. Also, when things go wrong like this, I realize other people are always impacted, right?

But here's the cool thing, right? When the shit hits the fan, when things go wrong, it's important for us to realize that

Other people are impacted when things go wrong and we have to be accountable and clean up our messes. So one of the things that immediately happened when I finally stopped my car was I took my seatbelt off and I got out. And the first thing I did was I crossed the median and started walking about 100 yards up the road to pick up my tire. I was like, I can't just leave this tire in the road.

So I went, I picked up my tire and I carried it back. By the time I got back, there had been two other cars that had stopped to check to see if I was okay. I think it's really cool when things go wrong and people are willing to stop and help. And that was something that as a 16, 17 year old kid,

Had seen it happen, you know, you see cars stopped on the side of the road You see somebody hurt you see something go go wrong and people jump in and they do what they can But I never had it happen to me and you know, I remember this this mother stopped to help right? There was another person had called 9-1-1, you know even people think I'm gonna you're not gonna believe me when I say this even the town drunk Joe showed up to direct traffic on his bike like this man Joe rolls up and

Right. And I didn't know his name was Joe. I just thought there was this random drunk man on a bike showing up. But eventually when the police showed up and this guy, Joe, was like behind my car because I'm in the left lane blocking traffic where my tireless car is sitting with two cars behind me. This dude is standing on his bike. Right.

right I'm not standing like standing next to his bike not on it he's standing next to his bike behind these cars as cars are coming down the road like waving people down to slow him down and get him out of the way um and the only reason I knew his name was Joe was because when the police showed up they were like look Joe we know you're trying to help but you need to go um like you're gonna get hurt um I look back back at that now and I think

everyone can help. Right. And I, you know, I, I talked to people about the importance of everyone can serve regardless of your position.

And it's extremely important that we don't judge people in terms of what they can do to serve and that we accept people for what they bring to the table. As we look at the world we're living in right now, there are lots of ways that people can fight racial injustice and everyone's fighting it in their own different way. And if someone's doing it differently than you and they're standing up and they're assisting others in a way that maybe you don't think is enough,

I think it's wrong of us to judge that. We need to accept people for where they are and what they bring to the table. And then one other piece of this story that I think is really important to reflect on and something that I still think about a lot is there are almost always, almost every single time you're out, there are warning signs before something goes wrong.

And we oftentimes ignore them and think everything's going to be okay. Whether that is something related to a relationship or the lug nut being loose on your car, there is something that's telling you, Hey, I should probably ask for some help here.

I was 16, 17 years old. I didn't know any better. I still am not an expert in anything related to cars, but I now know when something goes wrong, when there is something happening with my car, I'm going to take the time to ask somebody who's an expert, "Hey, can you help me with this?" Because when we ignore the warning signs and we don't listen to somebody who is an expert, we limit our own ability and that's an issue.

We have to be willing to accept the help and listen to the warning signs. Because if you don't, your tire will fly off and potentially almost kill other people and get yourself injured at the same time. So I think it's important that whatever that warning sign may be, that you are willing to trust your gut and ask for that help.

So, I hope that in your lifetime, one, your tire never flies off of your car because y'all, it's some scary shit. It was kind of fun when I look back on it. But I tell you the story because I need you to remember that when it comes to chasing the awesome life, you are never out of control.

It might feel like you've lost your tire. You're careening into it. It looks like you're about to careen into a ditch, but at the end of the day, when everything goes wrong, there's going to be someone there to help you. They were probably warning signs. You also don't ever have to let go of the wheel because you get to choose how you feel about whatever is happening. And that's important to remember because

Really, right now, it feels like more than one tire is falling off of our cars. It feels like we don't have any tires on our cars. And it feels like there isn't anyone there to help. But I promise you there are, right? Whether it's the town drunk or the mom who stops to help and call 911. There are people in your corner and people who want you to succeed, who want you to keep chasing the awesome life. So with that being said...

I hope the tires don't fly off your car, but if they do, I hope you're willing to choose how you feel about it and have an awesome mindset regardless. Y'all, I'll catch you in the next episode. We're going to talk about consistency and the fact that it's been two and a half months because of COVID and crappy diapers and watching kids and doing my job and not knowing if I had a job and everything else in between for the last two and a half months that's preventing me from doing more of these episodes.

and how I'm going to use that to be a better version of myself. I'll catch you in the next one. Be awesome.