cover of episode E47. 姐妹卧谈会:爱是细节,不爱也是。

E47. 姐妹卧谈会:爱是细节,不爱也是。

2024/8/24
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人间布洛芬

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咪仔
小T
肖刷刷
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咪仔: 在爱情中,我们很少聊到“不爱”这件事,但其实在日常生活中,我们经常会遇到想不明白的感情问题,例如对方是否爱自己。当发现对方不喜欢自己时,其实之前已经出现过很多蛛丝马迹,只是我们选择性地忽略或只看到自己想相信的东西。在一段关系中,如果对方真的在乎你,你一定能感受到。当对方真的喜欢你时,你会感受到明显的不同,例如主动联系、关心等。在一段关系中,一方往往会比另一方付出更多,不被喜欢的一方会很想知道原因。在选择伴侣时,有些人更倾向于选择更爱自己的人,而不是自己更爱的人。断崖式分手会让人非常难受,因为没有答案和解释。一次断崖式分手的经历,多年后依然不知道原因,也无法得到答案。一次与前男友的断崖式分手经历,事后才得知对方已经与他人结婚。断崖式分手让人难受,因为对方没有给出任何解释和交代。拒绝别人需要勇气,但清晰地表达拒绝比躲避更好。如果对方不够重要,可能就会忘记回复消息。微信聊天中,如果喜欢对方,最后一条消息通常是自己发的;如果不关心,最后一条消息通常是对方发的。如果双方都心照不宣地对这段关系感到冷淡,一方主动提出分手是比较好的选择。在感情中,一方往往会比另一方付出更多,不被喜欢的一方会很想知道原因。在选择伴侣时,有些人更倾向于选择更爱自己的人,而不是自己更爱的人。 小T: 微信回复频率是判断对方是否喜欢自己的一个普遍信号。回复慢或不回,可能意味着对方并不在意你。一次深夜表白经历,等待“正在输入中”的焦虑和最终石沉大海的失望,说明对方并不喜欢自己,即使之前有很多积极的互动信号。即使双方互动频繁,但如果对方始终不捅破窗户纸,也是一个明确的信号,表明对方可能并不想发展关系。在爱情中,勇敢与否在于是否愿意全身心投入,而及时止损也是一种智慧。即使知道对方不爱自己,也要勇敢去爱,并且在分手后不留遗憾。对方想尽快结束话题,可能暗示对方并不喜欢你。一段暧昧关系中,因为开始新的恋情而选择直接拒绝对方。如果对方不够重要,可能就会忘记回复消息。如果是我的话我也觉得人性都是一样的,你嗷嗷骂别人的时候你自己可能也做过同样的事情,但是我确实觉得我做的比那些男的要好。我就算不理你,我也只有两三天,我不会拖到一年两年彻底断崖式消失,我绝对不会这样,我一定会怎么着,我都会给你把这个话说清楚。如果双方都心照不宣地对这段关系感到冷淡,一方主动提出分手是比较好的选择。 肖刷刷: 一段约会经历中,对方虽然表现出关心和喜欢,但实际上却在逃避亲密关系,并且隐瞒了与前女友的关系,最终导致了刷刷主动提出分手。即使对方直接表达了不喜欢,但由于胜负欲作祟,依然会试图争取。约会对象多次迟到,并且态度冷漠,最终表明了对方并不喜欢自己。有些人即使不爱对方,也会继续与对方相处,因为对方可以提供情绪价值、陪伴价值等一系列价值。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

What are some common signs that someone doesn't love you, as discussed in the podcast?

Common signs include delayed or infrequent responses to messages, lack of enthusiasm in conversations, and avoiding deeper emotional connections. For example, one speaker shared how she waited all night for a response to her confession, only to receive a lukewarm reply the next morning. Another discussed how a man she dated would frequently end conversations abruptly, signaling disinterest.

Why do people often ignore clear signs that someone doesn't love them?

People often ignore clear signs due to self-deception and the desire to believe in the positive aspects of a relationship. They may misinterpret actions, such as assuming someone's general kindness is a sign of romantic interest. Additionally, the fear of rejection and the hope of being the exception can lead individuals to overlook red flags.

What is '断崖式分手' (cliff-like breakup) and why is it particularly painful?

A '断崖式分手' refers to a sudden and unexpected breakup where one party completely cuts off communication without explanation. It is particularly painful because it leaves the other person without closure or understanding of what went wrong. This abrupt ending can lead to prolonged emotional distress and confusion.

How did one speaker handle discovering she was essentially a 'side relationship'?

The speaker discovered she was a 'side relationship' when she found out the man she was dating still lived with his ex-girlfriend. Despite her deep feelings for him, she decided to end the relationship after realizing the moral and emotional implications. She confronted him over the phone, expressing her disappointment and cutting ties to avoid further emotional harm.

What advice do the speakers give for dealing with unrequited love?

The speakers advise accepting that not everyone will love you and that it's important to value yourself. They emphasize that being loved should not require changing who you are. Instead, they encourage finding someone who appreciates you for your true self and not being afraid to move on from relationships that don't fulfill you emotionally.

What is the importance of self-worth in relationships according to the podcast?

Self-worth is crucial in relationships as it helps individuals recognize when they are not being valued and empowers them to leave unhealthy situations. The speakers stress that everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, without needing to compromise or change themselves to fit someone else's expectations.

Chapters
从微信回复频率探讨不被爱的信号。以小T的告白经历为例,详细描述了等待回复时的焦虑和最终的失望。强调了告白的勇敢和失望的无奈。
  • 微信回复频率是判断对方是否感兴趣的重要信号
  • 告白是一件勇敢的事情,但失望也是难免的
  • 明确的拒绝虽然痛苦,但比模棱两可更让人清醒

Shownotes Transcript

断崖式分手?被小三?永远保持暧昧?面对那些注定得不到的人,我会立刻产生以下症状:一定要赢的好胜心/我一定能救你的圣母心/我到底做错了什么的好奇心在每一个辗转反侧的凌晨两点,每一个能让我记起你的气味/光线/瞬间我都想问一句,你为什么不爱我?

【自欺欺人的时间轴】:

01:50 只等到“正在输入中”?是猫踩手机了吧!05:42 请问,拉扯双方不用同一个信号系统对吗?06:22 咪仔:不是我怎么跟个小三似的?20:40 刷刷跑了一年憋屈约会马拉松,都怪胜负欲上头26:36 承认吧!咱都擅长自欺欺人31:19 被断崖式分手?等不到的答案就别等了33:39 今天跟我商量结婚,明天跟别人白头偕老37:15 嚯哟!能给别人点赞,就不回我消息呢39:57 真心话时间:当我不爱的时候,我会怎么办?45:02 打开自己去爱一个人时,也打开了被伤害的可能50:57 去勇敢的体验一切吧!无论好坏

主播:咪仔 小T 肖刷刷剪辑:璐璐

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