How creating space for joy can build resilience (with Miracle Jones)
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TED Audio Collective. You're listening to How to Be a Better Human. I'm your host, Chris Duffy. When I was growing up, my dad worked in the World Trade Center. So that means that he was there for the bombing in 1993, and he just barely missed the last subway to make it into the Twin Towers on September 11th. I remember in 1993 on the night of the bomb, I was in the subway.

When my dad finally came home, he was standing in the doorway. His face was jet black with soot. His suit was covered in ash. He looked so preposterous standing there. He looked like a kind of overdressed chimney sweep. And we burst into laughter as we ran in relief to hug him. Years later, after I graduated college, I moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts, and I was teaching fifth grade during the day and performing comedy at night. And I was in Boston on the day of the marathon bombings.

And that night we sheltered in place as we heard sirens in the street and helicopters overhead. It's probably the only time I've ever thought that I was doing something brave by eating an entire pot of spaghetti while sitting on the floor in my underwear. You know, as a comedian,

My first instinct is to want to make jokes about things. But when terrible things happen in the world, sometimes comedy feels irrelevant or even inappropriate. Really, how can I go out and make jokes when there's blood on the ground? Ignoring that kind of naked human suffering, it feels offensive to try and make people laugh. It feels wrong. I'm not sure that words can ever really do justice to the horrors of violence or oppression or a pandemic.

But I do think that one of the most important functions of art more broadly is to communicate what we can't express otherwise. And the more that I think about and live through acts of terror and moments of tragedy, the more that I do think that laughter and joy in their wake, they aren't inappropriate. They're actually necessary. In response to those who would create fear and terror, joy can be a political act.

It's not about toxic positivity or ignoring the difficulties and challenges of life, but instead finding that joy and pain that those two things can exist at the same time. And today's guest, Miracle Jones, she is a community organizer who has done a lot of deep thinking about exactly that. Here's a clip from her talk, and this is about the role of joy as a form of radical resistance, survival and protection for black folks in the US and across the world. Here's that clip. Imagine.

feeling guilty just because you experience joy in your life. Many seem to forget that existing and thriving in a world that was predicated upon your destruction is in itself a reason to celebrate. So we take up space as ours has been stolen and gentrified from us.

We dance in the middle of the street as we show up for each other and remember our hope for the future. We celebrate together because we are a community of people bonded together in joy and pain who refuse

Okay, we are going to be back with more from Miracle Jones after this quick break.

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Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Comparison rates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. These days, we're surrounded by photo editing programs. Have you ever wondered what something or someone actually looks like under all the manipulation? I'm Elise Hugh, and you might know me as the host of TED Talks Daily. This October, I am giving a TED Talk in Atlanta about finding true beauty in a sea of artificial images.

I'm so excited to share the stage with all the amazing speakers of the TED Next conference, and I hope you'll come and experience it with me. Visit go.ted.com slash TED Next to get your pass today. And we are back. We're talking about joy with Miracle Jones. Hi, my name is Miracle Jones. I'm a director of policy and advocacy here at One Hood Media, and I'm so thankful to talk to you about finding joy today. Why is joy important in your life?

Joy is important in my life just because it gives you something to like look forward to. And it's also like a reminder that like the world, as many dumpster fires that's going on and as many negative things is happening. It's reminded that there's still some positive, good things in the world and there's still

something to fight for. There's still something to like enjoy, to take the moment and be thankful for and find gratitude in. And so for me, joy is like so important because it took me a long time to be able to have it and to find it and to keep it and to hold on to it. So I always try to make sure there's something that I can be happy about no matter what's going on.

So I know I referenced it a little bit in my talk, but when my dad went to jail, that really changed the trajectory of my whole family. We, for lack of better words, were like homeless as a result of that. And it took years to like rebuild and to be able to like have stable housing. And then as soon as we got stable housing, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder and spent like

my whole entire high school and the first two years of college, like really, really sick in and out of hospitals. And so it took me a long time to be able to just be able to laugh and be able to enjoy life and enjoy moments without pain and frustration. And so for me, I always try to make sure that I'm taking time out of my day, of my week, no matter what's going on, just to laugh, to catch up with friends, to relax, to like,

Like find a movie that I've never watched before or find organizers that I've never worked with before to build relationships to keep that joy flowing. You know, it's interesting because I think that sometimes people have this idea that like joy is the opposite of pain or struggle, right? That like you have to, you can't have them both at the same time. And I think something that's really interesting about your talk and your work is that you've really,

You kind of make the case that you can be fighting to make the world a better place. You can be going through really difficult things in your personal life and you still can have joy. In fact, not only can you have it, but it's actually really important. Yeah.

It is very important. And again, a lot of times when you come out to some of the protests, you see people dancing, you see people laughing, you see people hugging. Some of the chants are about the freedoms in the future and there's envisioning sessions because joy is a part of protest, joy is a part of pain.

We don't live in these siloed lives where we pick either or other. And it's so interesting that with joy, we try to shame and guilt people for finding happiness and silver linings of what's going on in the world and things that are beyond our control. But you have to have joy, no matter how minuscule it might be to you, because joy is how we are able to engage and

strengthen and support each other. We can't get free and we can't move on to the next level if we don't have joy because then you're just going to have a bunch of miserable hurt people being forced together in closed spaces and that creates trauma and drama. And so that's why joy and happiness is infused into like revolutionary work. It makes me think also of how so often the strongest relationships, whether they be friendships or romantic relationships or even family relationships,

They're strong not because we've never gone through something difficult together, but precisely because that, because we know that when things are hard, this person is there. - Yeah, and a real friend knows how to crack jokes at that right time. I remember being at my dad's funeral and we were laughing and talking about different things that had happened.

Because in that sadness, we still found joy in the memories. We still found joy in community bonding and sharing our experiences. I think a lot of times people...

conflate joy with like toxic positivity, which is like, I think it's like the meme where the person's like sitting, the dog is sitting in the house. It's fine. Everything is fine. Like, it's not fine. It's okay to say, this is not fine. This is not okay. But like, I'm going to maybe laugh today instead of cry. I'm going to sit there and crack jokes as I put this fire out or be mindful of what

this next phase of my life could be, I'm not just going to remember the hard times or the sad times. I think that's what the difference is. A lot of times people try to like push like happiness and tea and, you know, crystals and meditation, all this stuff, like pretend the world isn't a bad place. No, the world is a bad place.

Like we're in it, we're living through it. And we have to face that reality. You can't pretend that people are just these machines where they just go through negative stuff and never take a moment for themselves to just be thankful for who they are and what they've been through and to acknowledge that there is some type of good in this world. You know, in comedy, we often say that comedy is tragedy plus time. Yeah.

Yes. And I feel like there's some truth to that, right? Like often the funniest things are the things that are the most painful. And then you look back on them and you go like, OK, well, there was something really. And it's not to it's never to say like that was OK at the moment. It's just to say that we can laugh at the human experience of having this thing and find joy in that, which I don't know what you're saying really resonates with me. That idea. Yeah.

But it's also a reality that sometimes you just need to tell a joke to get through the day or to tell a story or to share an experience because you do have to laugh to keep from crying sometimes. But I'm not talking about avoiding what's going on in your life. I'm talking about

taking a moment, even in the darkest of times to sit there and say, I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be okay. I deserve to have a laugh. I deserve to have peace of mind. I deserve it. And I'm acclaiming it and not feel guilty about it. Is there a person in your personal life or could even be in the public sphere who's a model for you on how to practice that kind of joy?

It's my siblings. Like my siblings and I, we are very fortunate that we have a close relationship. So no matter what happens in the world, like we can always crack jokes. We can always fall back on each other when we're having like a bad day. My siblings have been like my rock, my strength, my crutch, no matter what I was going through because we were going through all this stuff together. Our experiences were, of course, were vastly different.

But I remember one time when I was going in for surgery, my brother was like, well, if you die, I guess I get your ring collection. So it's a win for me either way. It was just like, sure. Right. You know, of course he was worried and stuff.

But it's just like doing it's like us doing jokes or remembering like the positive and negative at the same time. But that's just how we always go through and like show up for each other. And we've always been able to do that, you know, and that's kind of how like my worldview has always been since that time. So I wonder, how do you deal with the tragic, broken parts of our society and the world while not letting them define you?

I deal with it, but I keep going, going. I'm thinking of like the go-go protests in D.C. when people were like, we don't want to hear this music. We really do not want to see Black people in the middle of the streets. And you had people had to come together and organize and push back. And that's really how you deal with this broken system that exists.

systems of oppression is that you build community relationships with other organizers, other groups. So when things happen, you have a coalition of people who come together to respond, to fight back, to strategize, to uplift and amplify arguments and messaging. And that's, you know, in itself very important.

amazing and happy to see when you do a call to action and hundreds of people show up. But sometimes the reality is when you're organizing in those first few weeks, it's maybe like five to 10 people who are showing up. Right. And so that's finding joy in the fact that like people hear what's going on. They care about making the change and they're using their time, their bodies, their money, their finances, and their whatever resources at their disposal to help you push and fight back.

I imagine that there's people who listening to this who are thinking like, I don't think of, you know, dealing with police violence. I don't think people associate with like, well, that sounds joyful. So how do you

How do you incorporate joy into these really serious topics that you deal with? One, you celebrate the wins. You celebrate when things go right. And you share that information. Yes, this is what we were looking for. This is what we're fighting for. Two, you balance the type of work that you do. So for instance...

There are projects that I'm working on where I know the results won't happen for another five to 10 years. So trying to change like systems and trying to get people to think a different way about, you know, violence. I know that's not going to happen overnight. So I have long-term projects.

I also have short-term projects, things that I know I can get a result in within days. And I also do direct outreach. So when you're able to talk to someone about different tools and resources that they didn't need that were at their disposal and you're able to have someone say, you're the first time someone's talked to me like I've been a human being in weeks or months.

that brings joy, but it also brings sadness. And it gives me strength to keep going on and keep fighting and keep forging ahead because I know I'm making a difference. And even if I'm not going to be able to see the end results right now or in my lifetime, I know I'm laying the groundwork so other people are not going to have to go through the same pain and struggles and hardships in the future. And so that's one of the ways

I look forward for future joy to sustain the work. But some of the things I also do is try to

Turn my email notifications off at some point. It's so hard, but stop working. But to turn my email notifications off, we will now put in rest days on the calendar. This is a day of rest, right? This is a day where we're not going to work. We're going to sit there and we're going to watch like films and documentaries of organizers who have won. We're going to listen to elders. We're going to read books, um,

of different organizers and get information and to be motivated to continue on that type of way. So there's different ways that you're able to connect joy and struggle and revolution and organizing together to keep working and to do work that's really, really tough and really, really heavy. I'd love to know what are some of the other little daily practices that you keep up to keep these things moving in your life?

You know, I look at art a lot. I love art. You know, one of the organizations here, Cadby, they just did an art show and the majority of the art were for people who've been incarcerated in local Pennsylvania prisons. So they submitted art and they released it. So that was pretty cool. So I look at art. I...

People laugh at me all the time when I tell them this, but I am a sucker for good romance, cheesy romance dramas. I love K-dramas. I love Hallmark. I love that. This whole countdown to Christmas thing, it brings me so much happiness. I know it's the cheesiest thing ever, but sometimes I'll look at the little trailers for when the movies come out.

I'm going home for the fall holidays. So I've already told my sister, like Saturday night, we're doing like two movies back to back. So pick the movies we've got to watch. You know, making hot chocolate, but on a daily basis, you know, I listen to like interviews from James Baldwin to Audre Lorde. I'm like, yes, they got it. They got it. And that fills me. And then one thing I do at the end of the day is,

I tell myself like what good thing happened today, what bad thing happened today and what thing can I work to change the next day? So it's not like a good thing, a bad thing, a better thing, but it's like,

Just be reflective and then move on. I've struggled still with this whole like remote life to like cut my brain off from working. But I am trying to do that like a lot more now in addition to like creating my own artwork and things of that nature. I know that One Hood is very arts focused as an organization. Yeah.

So I have a question about how that ties in. But before that, if someone's not familiar with One Hood, can you give us just the breakdown of what it is? Yes. So we're a social justice arts organization. We're founded in Pittsburgh in 2006 in response to gun violence that was happening in the area. So a lot of our founders who also happen to be hip hop artists and poets would walk around the neighborhoods doing events.

anti-violence outreach, bringing kids in to teach them about art, giving them something to do at night as opposed to getting in trouble, trying to just let people know that there are different alternatives in the world. And from that, we kind of

branched out to doing media. And so the media Academy part came in because we started creating our own media. We started teaching youth about how to analyze media, what stories are there. And so we've branched out to do like a full on multimedia, um,

arts organization. We're very lucky that we've been able to do that. It also feels like big picture. This is very related to the, just the role of art, right? Like what is the purpose of art in our lives? Why does art matter? Why do we have art across history and across culture? That's, that seems like a big piece of what one hood is actually getting at.

Nina Simone said the duty of an artist is to reflect the signs of the times. But part of the reflection is giving people hope for the future, allowing people the space to envision what a world looks like, where all of our resources and needs are met and inviting people to tell their own stories. A lot of times, a lot of the

pain and trauma comes from, you know, whether intentional accident, violence that occurs because people who are impacted are not at the tables making executive decisions, not making policy decisions, you know, and so a part of ARC does is allows anyone and everyone to be a part of the conversation and

And you just have a moment to envision the world, to tell your story, to share your struggle. I think art is so important and impactful in that mindset because of art. Whether it's cooking or making whipped coffee or learning tap dancing or singing or watching media, watching movies and TV shows, that's all art. Watching performances, that is all art. The plays, the virtual museums, that's all

art and that got us through the worst parts of this pandemic. And so I think you cannot divorce art and joy from any type of organizing, any type of tech building, any type of work that people do.

Yeah, it's also I think about how with art, so much of making art is deciding what is in the frame. Right. What what gets highlighted? What is put in the foreground? What's put in the background? And that's exactly what One Hood is trying to do, too. Right. Being like these stories about black people are.

damaging and they're not accurate. And we can change the frame by media training. We can change the frame by creating our own stories. We can change that by shifting what's in the focus and what's out of focus. And it feels to me like that is a big part of not just art, but also joy, too, right? Is like expanding the frame to include the parts that aren't just this negative piece, this inaccurate, smaller piece, too.

Yeah, and it's also allowing people to tell their own stories and understanding that people are the experts in their own lives. There are so many people doing amazing things in this world. And so for us, we're like, who's doing the artwork? Who can we put out? So if you look at our social media, we all, you know, we amplify artists on

on Mondays and visual artists on Fridays, we're not just like amplifying our friends. We're literally just combing social media and trying to find people whose voices that we can share and whose work that we can share because it's so important to us that other people have space and opportunities and, and,

to be shared and showcased. And we're really trying to do that in very intentional ways. So that's some of the things that we've been doing. Like whose story can we tell? We don't have to always get credit. I like the work that we push out. We don't get credit for it. And it's by intention and design because we believe in people so much. And that's what we want to see. All right, don't go anywhere. We're going to take a short break, but we'll be back with more from Miracle Jones in just a moment.

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Okay, we are back. It's something that we talked about a little bit or you touched on earlier is the idea of toxic positivity, right? And I think it's interesting to balance your commitment to joy with not falling into this kind of toxic trap where it's like you're not allowed to ever feel sad or angry and you always need to find a bright side. There's always a silver lining to everything and sometimes there isn't. So how do you balance that commitment to joy with not falling into toxic positivity? I...

practice realism a lot and I'm I'm trying to keep this like very PG why cuss like a sailor sometimes when things when things do not go wrong that's a good way to honestly that's a great way to solve problems sometimes you need a curse sometimes you have to curse sometimes you have to yell um but I'm very much trying to be present in the present and like feel my feelings

And I know it just sounds like I'm like copying, pasting words. But like when something goes bad, I'm like, this is bad. This is messed up. I'm not happy about this. Like what am I going to do? What are the next steps? I usually, because I don't like jail or prison personally, so I have to take a moment and think about like what's happening, right? You know, be angry, but be strategic. So I know there's been a lot of trials going on right now.

just about different murders and racial violence that has happened in the past couple of years. And I watch these things, I hear some of these arguments and I'm like, this is really messed up. Again, I'm usually cussing when I'm talking about that. Yeah, messed up. We all understand what it actually means. You know, autocorrect.

doing the autocorrect version. And I feel it and I allow myself to feel it and I process it. And then I try to be like, okay, what can I do to fix it? And if I can't fix it, can I just sit and cry? There are days where I will just like sit and cry. I'm like, this is like very sad and I feel helpless and I can't do anything about it. And then, you know, I'm like, okay, I felt it.

Let me figure out where I can be of support, where I can be of action and where I can change. Let me focus on that. And that's how I deal with things. Am I able to hop on a plane and stop, you know, conflict from happening around the world? No. Can I talk to my elected officials about not supporting war? Can I talk to corporations? Can I talk to different people? Yes, I can do that. I can make that change.

That way, you know, can I help support people who are resettled in my area? Can I advocate that, you know, my social work programs talks about violence and anti-Blackness? Can I do those things? Yes. And so that's how I navigate when things get like too heavy. It's just like figuring out where I can bloom, where I'm planting and where I can make a difference. So.

If someone is listening and they are, you know, they're going through an eviction or they're going through a diagnosis with chronic disease, these things that are

you know, that you've experienced and that are challenging, for sure, really challenging. Maybe, I imagine that there's some people who are, have a lot of difficulty in finding the joy in those moments. What would you say to someone who's going through that, who's in the heart of it right now? How can they find a way to see something other than just the struggle at the moment? I understand that. And I want to be very clear, the eviction, the illness, the surviving trauma and violence is

That's not joyful. For me, what's joyful is being able to look forward to the future. What was joyful was being able to reflect on the positive things that happened. And what's joyful is being able to make a plan of action to make next steps. And if that means going raging at political leaders because the supports weren't there, then do that. If that means

building up a community of mutual aid, then so be it, do that. But I want to be very clear when I talk about joy, it's something that is personal to me and decision I personally made when I navigated life's ups and downs and challenges. And I think that other people can do this as well. You understand that the negative things that happen in the world, the violent things that you're going through,

doesn't stop you and preclude you from laughing, from finding peace, from creating community. That's what I would say. It almost sounds to me like, tell me, correct me if this is wrong, please. But it sounds to me like part of your joy is the joy of resilience, right? Is like that you were able to get through that, that you find a joy in having gotten through these things that seemed really like almost impossible at the time.

Yeah. And it's also understanding that some of those things shouldn't happen, but it's like, yeah, I, I'm happy. I'm proud of myself, you know, for, for going through it. When I was going through things, I was like, yeah, this, this sucks. This is not okay. This is not right. This is not fair. And for me, it's like, oh, okay. But I also had a community with my siblings. Right. So like I had a, I,

had this built in support system. So even when my parents were going through their things, my siblings and I were always going to look out for each other. We're always going to support each other. We were always going to be cracking jokes when we were staying in an efficiency. We were like, okay, you know, we're going to build a fort and we're going to play. So my little sister isn't super scared about what's happening right now. There are things that we did. And for me, I always found joy in my siblings.

So I always knew that there was going to be something better for us, even when things were getting worse because I had each other. You know, we have separate, you know, beliefs and views, but my family and I, we've always been able to support each other, even when we weren't always talking or always getting along. So I've always been able to find a moment of joy and peace in those situations. And so that's where my worldview was developed and where I came from.

And it's very funny. My first speaking engagement, it happened just because I showed up. It wasn't that I set out to do it. It wasn't that I had like a life plan. It was that I would tell things and it would resonate with people. And sometimes I would feel bad because I would make people cry. And I was like, it's not what I wanted to do. I was just trying to share like what my stories were and try to maybe talk about things we need to do to change.

And then I had people just like crying and sobbing in front of me. And I was like, okay, well, maybe I need to tell my story less. No, go tell more people. Okay. And so that's how it happened. So it's kind of, it's, I'm thankful that you said that. But yeah, it's been, even with that, it's just been like a journey because I'm learning to be like,

more vulnerable because I'm usually like, nobody cares. Nobody cares. So that's why I think and to hear people like, oh, this is cool. You should share it. I'm very grateful for this opportunity. And I hope it can help people be better humans. I'm not taking responsibility if they don't. But, you know, I hope it could help, you know, somebody somewhere.

Yeah, I'm going to put that same disclaimer on everything that I said in every episode of this show, which is I'm not taking it on if you don't become a better human. You're supposed to be the one. You're the guest. You're supposed to be making him a better human, not me. So if you don't take it on, I'm definitely not taking it on. I just put the call to action out there. I just give you some tips and you can decide whether or not you want to be better.

There you go. That's the world. Well, I also love the idea of you, you know, you saying your truth and it being so powerful that people literally are brought to tears. And then you being like, oh, I probably should not do this as much. That's like, no, that's the most unique, incredible ability of all to be able to touch other people.

Yeah, I think it's an honor. But I think sometimes I always like want to take people on and like save them and hold them and hug them. Obviously you can't because of COVID. But then obviously, you know, people have to do like their own healing and impact their own trauma. And so I wasn't prepared for people to be like receptive to my story. So like when I first did the TED Talk, I was like, are you sure? Because I can get all these other people.

They're orators. They're great. People are like, no, we like you. I was like, are you sure you want to talk to me? And they're like, yes. I was like, okay. You know, and so, you know, it just took a little bit of time and support and persistence. I was like, okay, I'm going to do this. And I had, it's kind of funny because I had talked to my mom, my siblings. I'm like, I would like to talk about the worst times in our lives. Is this okay? Yeah.

But even having those conversations, it was cool because we did as a family get to re-talk about our trauma and our pain and what we hope our lives would be and what our lives are like now. And so I think that reflection is also a way to find joy because we get to see how far we've gone or even how far we strayed and figure out what we want our lives to look like and work towards those goals too.

What is one idea that has made you a better human? One idea that has made me a better human is to bloom where you are planted. And that's basically to...

To be okay with where you are at and work and the places that you are at. Don't always try, you know, to take on too much or to wait for when the time is right. But just do what you can now. If you're, you know, a singer, sing about things that you care about. If you're a gardener, you know, tend to the universe and the environment where you are. Don't always try to do stuff outside of your comfort zone. Don't take on too much.

Just be who you are and work in the skill sets that you have to make a difference. That's one thing that, you know, has helped. Well, Miracle Jones, thank you so much for being on the show. It's such a pleasure to get to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you so much, Chris. I'm very honored and excited and just thank you for the opportunity. Thank you.

That is it for today's episode. I am your host, Chris Duffy, and this has been How to Be a Better Human. Thank you so much to our guest, Miracle Jones. Her organization is called One Hood. That's the number one, H-O-O-D.org. On the TED side, this show is brought to you by the bright side of Abhimanyu Das, the silver lining of Daniela Balarezo, Frederica Elizabeth Yosefov's half full glass, Ann Powers' blue sky, and the upside of Kara Newman.

From PRX Productions, How to Be a Better Human is brought to you by the overjoyed Jocelyn Gonzalez, the underjoyed Pedro Rafael Rosado, and the exactly right amount of joyed Sandra Lopez-Monsalve.

Thank you so much to everyone who has worked on this show behind the scenes over the year. I am so grateful for your effort and your thought and your care. And I am so grateful to all of you listeners for listening and supporting the show. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. If you have been enjoying the work that we're making for you, please share this episode with a friend and leave us a review. Thank you so much.

Support for the show comes from Brooks Running. I'm so excited because I have been a runner, gosh, my entire adult life. And for as long as I can remember, I have run with Brooks Running shoes. Now I'm running with a pair of Ghost 16s from Brooks.

incredibly lightweight shoes that have really soft cushioning. It feels just right when I'm hitting my running trail that's just out behind my house. You now can take your daily run in the Better Than Ever Go 16. You can visit brookscrunning.com to learn more. PR.