From the archives: The Great Reckoning
Dear Sugars
Deep Dive
What is the theme of the Dear Sugars Summer Party discussed in the episode?
The theme of the Dear Sugars Summer Party is 'The Great Reckoning,' which involves taking a long, difficult look at one's mistakes, transgressions, and delusions, as well as reflecting on personal growth and change.
What was Cheryl Strayed's personal reckoning about?
Cheryl Strayed's personal reckoning involved a moment in her life when she felt she had squandered her ambition, writing, and intelligence. This led her to hike the Pacific Crest Trail for 94 days, during which she deeply reflected on her life, relationships, and the people who had influenced her, including her mother and father.
What was Steve Almond's involuntary reckoning about?
Steve Almond's involuntary reckoning occurred when he was 21 and had just graduated from college. He took a job in El Paso, Texas, but soon after, he was offered a more desirable job in Quincy, Massachusetts. Accepting the Quincy job triggered a panic attack, leading him to realize he couldn't follow the safe, expected path. He ultimately returned to El Paso, viewing the experience as a positive reckoning that redirected his life toward a more unconventional path.
What was Mitchell S. Jackson's reckoning moment?
Mitchell S. Jackson's reckoning moment occurred when he was caught by the police while dealing drugs. He faced the decision of whether to cooperate with the police by naming his supplier or to take full responsibility for his actions. He chose the latter, deciding he couldn't live with the guilt of betraying someone else, even if it meant facing a longer prison sentence.
What is Rebecca Skloot's next book about?
Rebecca Skloot's next book is about animal research, animal rights, and the complex relationships humans have with animals. It explores the ethical dilemmas and benefits of animal research, challenging simplistic narratives and revealing the nuanced truths behind these issues.
What advice did the Sugars give to the 'heartbroken crush stealer'?
The Sugars advised the 'heartbroken crush stealer' to acknowledge the hurt she caused her friend by pursuing a romantic relationship with someone her friend had feelings for. They emphasized the importance of honesty and self-reflection, suggesting that she recognize her actions as hurtful and learn from the experience rather than justifying her behavior.
How did Rebecca Skloot's personal life intertwine with her research for her next book?
Rebecca Skloot's personal life intertwined with her research when she visited a research facility studying deception, monogamy, and relationship stress. During this time, her long-term relationship was falling apart due to deception, and she experienced physiological effects similar to those observed in the animals she was studying. This overlap forced her to confront her own life and the themes of her book in a deeply personal way.
What is the Sugars' perspective on rage and forgiveness?
The Sugars believe that rage is a powerful and important emotion that should not be relinquished but also should not rule one's life. They see forgiveness as a way to process anger without letting it consume you, allowing for both emotions to coexist. They emphasize the importance of using rage constructively, such as taking political action, while also finding space for joy and pleasure.
What advice did the Sugars give to the parent who felt happier alone?
The Sugars advised the parent to embrace the feeling of relaxation and happiness when alone, without guilt. They emphasized the importance of claiming space for oneself, especially for women, and rejecting the societal expectation that mothers must always prioritize their children above all else. They encouraged honesty about the complexities of parenthood.
What keeps the Sugars going during their darkest times?
Cheryl Strayed finds strength in love, both giving and receiving it, while Steve Almond draws on the awareness that dark times are part of life and that facing them is necessary to move forward. Both emphasize the importance of connection, whether through family, friends, or personal reflection, as a source of resilience.
- Cheryl's reckoning involved self-reflection and a life-changing hike.
- Steve's reckoning was an involuntary panic attack that prevented him from taking a job.
- Both reckonings led to personal growth and change.