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Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. Wolves have a new manager and the Super League won't go away. It's Wednesday 18th December. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Andy Brassel. And I'm Pete Donaldson. MUSIC

Hello everybody! It's Wednesday, the Wednesday before, and smiling faces in the studio tell me that we can almost feel Christmas Day. I'm full of Pret-a-Manger pigs in blanket sandwiches. Just before you press the button to start the show, you express a dislike for mustard, and I want people to know that you're a mustard dodger. No, no, no, no, hater. Hater? Active hater? Yes. Right, okay, won't have it in your fridge or on your cupboard.

I would close the factories if I had the power. Are you confusing mustard gas with mustard? Like, what's the problem here? All of it. All of it. I know, I don't like mustard. Do you prefer it when it's framed in a German way? Like, Zenf. It sounds less threatening, doesn't it? Oh, that's lovely. Do you not think there's like a mustard fear out there? Because there's so many different kinds.

No, I don't. What do you have on a hot dog for crying out loud? I don't know anything about you. Don't say tomato ketchup or I'm going home and Christmas is cancelled. No, I don't care for tomato ketchup either. In a hot dog, I prefer a bottled sausage. Bottled sausage. Cup of water to be like Joey Chestnut. Yeah, just get it down. There you are. Thanks to friend of the Ramble, Georgia Patchett.

Good old patch for giving us that intro line. You can submit the intro line for next Wednesday's show by signing up to the Football Ramble patron for just $5 a month. A part of your subscription. You won't get any mustard, but you will get ad-free episodes of the Ramble OTC and up front as well as an extended version of every Wednesday Ramble. Head to

Patreon.com forward slash football ramble to listen. How about a Dijon? No. With the little corns still in there. Right, so what you're... I don't think you understand me. It's a bit like saying, I don't like eating excrement. And you go, but what about cow? It's very different to dog excrement. I mean, you are comparing mustard with excrement. Correct. And that's just not fair. Why is it fair? And I won't have it at Christmas. You're making me think of...

is Simon Hollander in Taboo where he's testing the dung to work out whether it's suitable to make gunpowder with Simon Hollandaise I would call him similar sort of consistency similar sort of colour what he's done on Hollandaise

Not as bad, but I'm not... Not as bad. I like barbecue sauce if we want to move the conversation on. You're like a dog. I don't want to move the conversation on there, please. Thanks. Move on, move on. Let's talk about the football. Andy, you have no moral high ground here. Now...

A man who I believe does operate on the moral high ground most of the time is Vito Pereira, and he is officially Wolverhampton Wanderers' new manager. The now former Al-Shabaab manager has agreed an 18-month deal to become the big man at Wolves, of course. Now, I did say...

on Monday's show, having read a little bit about the man, because I'll be honest with you, I didn't really know much at all before his name was linked with the Wolves job. I thought, oh, this could be good for the ramble. Just to remind everybody that this is a chap who, and I implore anybody to seek out, we did tweet this as well. Do find out the video of him losing at a press conference while managing Al-Ahli in 2014 in the Middle East, because

the way he turns on the guy who sat next to him even as well. It sounds like he sort of is pulling the strings as well, that guy, because he does have to go, oh, I do have to respect you. Yeah, it sounds like he might be the chairman or something, I don't know. Even though you're not respecting me. It's a little bit like an exaggerated impression of that Rino Gattuso press conference in Greece, isn't it? A little bit like that, yeah. He's not hung around at many clubs. No.

It's fair to say. He has been at many clubs, but he hasn't hung around too long at clubs. Of course, since 2010, Porto, a couple of years, Al-Akhli, Olympiacos, Fenerbahce, 1860 Munich. I believe he got the

them relegated. Didn't have a good time there. Shanghai SIPG was there for three years. Fenabashi 2021. 2022 Corinthians, as I said, left Corinthians to say, just to remind anybody from what I said on Monday, left Corinthians. Did okay there and was actually quite liked by some of the fans and said, well, I've got to go home to look after my ill mother-in-law. Month later,

takes a job at Flamingo, which is quite something. That was 2023. 2024, Al-Shabaab. And of course, now he's at Wolves. So, Andy. Andy. Is he still a bit mad? Just one word. Yes. Lovely. There you go. The thing you left out in that

excellent rundown spells is second spell at Fenerbahce. Oh yeah. He famously, it was all over social media, got into it with loads of the fans in a pre-season game. On social? No, at the game. Oh, it was on social. That does sometimes happen though, pre-season. They're not quite up to

I don't know, there's some kind of tortoise-style protection that you get through a few games in your main season. I just think at that time, you've had two weeks off or something, and you've come back a bit mad. And you do sometimes see some spicy stuff in pre-season, don't you? I see where you're coming from. It's like we're Spalletti-roud with the Napoli fans before their title-winning season. But I do underline...

before their title winning season. He didn't last until Christmas. No, we're not going to see probably a similar performance from Wolves. It's a difficult position to be in, though, isn't it? It is. It's a big job to take over for a side that I would think most people would say are good enough to stay up. I don't think there's too many. Whether they will or not is a different matter. But they have a score. They've got a better score, obviously, than the Nipswich and Southampton, of course. I think that you could argue that...

they've got a similar, at least a similar squad to Palace. Now that Aliso's gone, yeah, I think so. Yeah, I'd say they've got a better squad than Everton. Yeah. And certainly got a better squad than Leicester. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's all about the direction of travel, really, isn't it? And it's the fact that Kilman and Neto go in the summer and it feels like they're not really...

replaced. I guess the thing that I would say about Vitor Pereira, and I've never been massively convinced by his work, even when he won those two titles at Porto, it was with an unbelievable team, a team that was even better than the one that Vilich-Boas won the 2011 Europa League with. So I think he was Vilich-Boas' assistant, of course. He took over from him. But basically, I think

The one thing I would say for him is he gets the defence sorted out. And that has got to be paramount. And I think when you look at him doing a specific job for a specific time, you know, there's an acknowledgement with this 18-month deal that, you know, it might not be forever. Mm-hmm.

Because you can't give him a six month really. He's not going to agree to that, is he? His sole remit is to stay up. But of course, he's been desperate for a Premier League job for absolutely ages. He interviewed for the Everton job twice. That's right, yeah. A decade apart. Yeah. Of course, defended himself manfully after that graffiti about him outside. Yeah, he mentioned somebody with Pereira out. Lampard in, it said. Yeah.

That's aged well, isn't it? I think, yeah, but you know, when one goes out, one goes in. You know, one stays, one goes. That's the Frank Lampard way. If only you'd have known that earlier, right? Well, look, I'm delighted he's got a job.

Wolves fans get in touch. He probably only came because he heard that Max Killman had recently left because I'll be the new Max Killman. Perhaps that's it, Peter. His first game will be against Leicester on Sunday. So it's a huge game. No pressure. A massive game he's going to come into because if Leicester win that...

I mean Wolves would be at least six points from safety could be more depending on results because they're already five points behind Leicester themselves so a huge game he's gone straight into but

you know, he would probably argue that he's born for this sort of stuff. And my, I, I hope he is. One man that they could do with, Mateus Cunha, has been charged with misconduct by the FA for his actions following Wolves' loss to Ipswich, where he elbowed a member of Ipswich's security team in the back of the head and then snatched his glasses off.

Of course, he does have until the 19th of December to respond to the charge. Can I just say, I was disappointed as someone who remembers Jens Lehmann being criticised when he's playing for Stuttgart by a fan, stealing his glasses and running off onto the team coach with them. LAUGHTER

Come on. He left the job half done. Right, yeah. And really, you could say that's Wolves' season in microcosm. I forgot Labour did that. I mean, he has the chance to do the funniest thing ever. Turn up to the hearing... Wearing a pair of gloves. Wearing those glasses. And I think you should get off Premier League sanctions if you make them laugh. Yes. I think you should be like, oh, fine, OK. Totally agree. OK, well, your test has said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's the giggle test. You were saying how big the game with Leicester is. It depends on the timing...

If you're Wolves, do you make a spurious appeal knowing that the ban could be extended so he's definitely available for the game of Leicester? So he's not available for the game? Well, we don't know because he hasn't been banned or otherwise yet. I'm saying depending on how quickly it's expedited. That's very true. That is very true, yeah. Appeal everything. Double do, as we always say. Just double do. What are those lawyers doing if you've not got 112 charges to defend?

Just get them busy. Get the glasses on. Get in there. Make them laugh and you'll be absolutely fine. Well, it's all happening at Wolves, I'll tell you that much. Huge game, though, against Leicester, which with Pereira in charge, for me...

I haven't checked if it's on telly or not yet, but I'm sure it is. That is must viewing. That is essential viewing now. Mustard viewing. Mustard viewing. He's an absolute mustard. He's an absolute mustard. I do quite like that expression on it. Well, it's got to be good, hasn't it? Because they use it for something being good. Better the devil you know. There we are. Right. Let's talk about Marcus Rashford.

He said some interesting things during an interview with your friend of mine, Henry Winter. He said he's ready for a new challenge after being asked about his future at Manchester United, which is quite honest, really. Obviously, the January window will be soon upon us. It is a little bit jumping before you push, doesn't it? Yeah, and it seems like he's lining up that window. I mean, this suggests to me that he is...

very much on his way out. He said in the interview, if I know that a situation is already bad, I'm not going to make it worse. I've seen how other players have left in the past and I don't want to be that person. He also said, when I leave, I'll make a statement and it will be from me. When I leave, it's going to be no hard feelings. You're not going to have any negative comments from me about Manchester United. That's me as a person.

startling honesty. Refreshing honesty, one might say. Yeah, and it's good that he's already queued up the social media post where it'll be a picture of... a fuzzy picture of him wearing a Man United kit from when he was 10. I think, probably. Don't ever go at pictures from the past. It's fuzzy because of, you know...

less modern scanning techniques for 35mm film. I was going to say, it's fuzzy because you're not his media manager. Yeah, exactly. And you taught it up appropriately. If you are going to get negatives blown up though, do not go to Snappy Snaps. I paid like 26 quid for 24 pictures. Rashford said you're not going to have any negative. So Andy's takeaway from this story is that...

Do you have anything that you might want to add? I think he does need a move. I think that in many ways we've fallen foul of somebody having 100 days to prepare a presidential campaign. We're all sowing, we've all kind of reaping the rewards of that globally. It's worked out well. It's worked out well. And so I think Mark Zareff is starting a campaign to get a move in January.

is it's a very short amount of time to get your dossier in bits. I see what you mean, yeah. I mean, if there's an obvious move out there, it's Paris Saint-Germain, isn't it? Because they've been interested in him for a long time. They're interested in him to nominally replace Messi. They're interested in him to nominally replace Kylian Mbappe. Yeah.

He's done well to just let that settle on them. Can I replace Colin Mawarney? I could probably. I mean, Mawarney's a good player. I don't want to disrespect him, but come on, there's two aforementioned names. Yeah, I mean, nearly scored the winner in the World Cup final, for goodness sakes. Nearly. Nearly, yeah. Is he a bigger asset to a Premier League club because he's homegrown? I don't know whether that's a factor in your fair play and stuff. No.

I don't know how it all works. Isn't there too much of a chance for it to bite United? Yeah. I think that's the issue. And if you're talking about starting again, and when he's talking about starting again, he's really talking about starting again a little bit like Ashley Cole from the English media, isn't he? That's definitely part of it. That definitely factors into it. I think that would be quite a nice fit. And that combination of...

relatively low fee that they're going to charge and very high wages that presumably he's not going to climb down from. That makes a lot of sense and they're really lacking a centre forward at the moment. And he would play centre forward there. And he wouldn't get distracted by the kids' school meals because they'd be delicious. Yes.

They are. I bet the French schools are delicious. You would think so. You would hope so, wouldn't you? I don't think school meals are good anywhere. No, they're not. He's also just that slightly further away from Belfast, so the temptation to go clubbing there might be... I don't think they have any nightclubs in Paris. I think you'll be okay there. But you talk about the fee. You think the fee would be...

low for Rashford it'll be relatively low because they need to shift the entirety of the wages imagine United and also whatever they sell him for it'll be pure profit of course yes interesting well that would obviously go in his favour massively but I think in terms of England yes please tell us it'd just be if he can get in a place where he's playing well again it'd just be a massive boost and it'll take maybe if we're talking about him as a centre forward which to be honest I think we should um

It takes a little bit of the pressure off Kane as well. I'm not gifted in that area. I think he's way better off the left. I think when you're talking centre forwards, you're talking Watkins, Solanke, you could even argue De Lappe coming through. So I think for me, Rashford is...

way better off the left. This is not about a tactical thing. This is about... It's a moot point, really, isn't it? Indeed. But, Andy, I sincerely hope that we talk about tactics and Rashford and England at some point in the future because it would be a massive upturn in his fortune and his form, certainly. But I do find this interesting, Peter, where he's very much open to a moment. I thought he might actually want to fight for his place and stick around. I don't know whether this is just a case of Amarim coming in and he thinks enough's enough or...

we look at the last few years of Marcus Rashford and thinking... He's seen this so many times and he probably doesn't trust the process necessarily. There's that. And also his...

His demeanour has... He's looked short of confidence. There's considerable baggage, isn't there? Yeah, he's short of a good time. I don't want to start speculating on what's going on in another person's head. He's looking around the dressing room. He's seen that in the os of Airbnb'd half of it. He just thinks it's a club on the wind. A different person waking up there every morning. I don't know. I mean, Andy...

Clearly he wants to move and this is it. This is surely the fresh challenge. This is what he said. Which I think is quite good because I think he seems to go right.

I've got an idea and he's come out and said it. And I'm actually, it sounds like he's feeling a bit empowered and I think this bodes well. I agree. And sometimes a transfer is good for everyone. I think it will be good for Manchester United. It's clear that Amarim doesn't want him. And if he doesn't fancy him, talking about his positioning, if he doesn't fancy him as a centre forward, he doesn't fancy him because he just doesn't fit in his team anywhere else. Not even with the width that he plays? No, no. He wants a different sort of... Mason Mount?

Even though he got injured, but he was still operating in that area. No, not in the wide area, I don't think. Not medium to long term anyway. So I think it kind of limits his options. He's just best for everyone. If he goes to PSG. Yeah, well, it seems so. And he didn't move all day. Yeah, it would be a shame if he went to Saudi Arabia. Let's be quite clear about that.

Al-Shabaab. I don't know. Well, in other Premier League news, did you see that Mikhala Mudrik has provisionally been suspended from football after failing a drugs test? It's been reported that Meldonium was deteriorating

in a standard urine test and that apparently helps endurance and recovery. He does have a B sample that is to be tested and analysed and so on. So we're sort of waiting to see what happens. He wrote on Instagram, this has come as a complete shock as I've never knowingly used any banned substances or broken any rules and I'm working closely with my team to investigate how this could have happened. Now he has missed Chelsea's last five matches, hasn't featured since 28th November and

Maresca said it's down to illness. However, it has been reported that it's understood that Mudrik had been unavailable for selection due to a suspected adverse analytical finding. Wow. Someone put some drugs in that word salad. Exactly, yeah. So FA rules state that if somebody is...

before a decision has been taken, then I think that there may be a little bit of explaining room in there. We shall see. It's kind of saying, you know, you can't ban me. I've been suspended. So, yes, clearly, though, if he fails his drug test, then he's going to be in big trouble. So they're trying to, I suppose, the club are doing all they can to sort of...

smooth this over and see, right, let's give ourselves a fighting chance. But let's wait and see what happens. It's a delicious sentence, Mikhail Medrick's Mildonium. It's beautifully alliterative. I enjoy it. It's a big shame for him. He has not necessarily been the most popular...

Chelsea player this season or last season but on the rare occasions he's actually played his form has improved slightly so you probably would have been looking for Chelsea to make a return on that investment but obviously they'll probably drop him knowing how cutthroat that company is yeah he's looked like he's benefited from Maresca's coaching actually doesn't he like a lot of those players so yeah sad yeah

All right, coming up after this, could we have a European Super League? My goodness, stay with us. This episode is sponsored by HIMSS Hair. Lads, let's face it, when you're heading out the door, it's phone, wallet, keys, and for some of us, a quick grab for a hat because the hairline is starting to look a little bit offside. But don't panic, HIMSS has got you covered. And no, not with another hat.

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I don't know about this.

you know, what's going on here? Somebody's breaking into my house and that made me angry. Welcome back to the Football Ramble, everybody. Santa, stay away. Stay away, Santa, from Big Dunk's house. Now, the European Super League is going to have another swing. A22 Sports Management, the company behind the European Super League, has submitted a proposal to UEFA and FIFA to obtain official recognition for its new cross-border European Club football competitions this

The competition has been branded the Unify League. Peter, you're a fan of branding. What a name. It sounds like they've thought up the name just to sort of go, well, you can't complain about any of this because it's unifying. We are trying to. It's the same way that certain despots use the word liberated. Do you know what I mean? You don't want it. They're giving it to you.

One man's unity is another man's division. Well, in the official press release, A22 said, under the December 2023 ruling of the Court of Justice of the European Union, any competition where qualification is inclusive and meritocratic and which complies with the overall match calendar can be officially established. So just to remind people essentially what happened last time around when they had a go with this Super League and it was...

UEFA blocked it, of course. So the company behind it, A22, took them to court for abusing a dominant position, is what their argument was. And then the Court of Justice of the European Union found UEFA's and FIFA's rules for authorising new competitions contrary to EU law. So UEFA rules were then amended before that ruling and put in a...

believe they adhere to it. So basically, off the back of this ruling, both A22 and UEFA claimed victory. Yes. And it depends which way you're looking at it. Indeed, Andy. So A22 is saying, ah, so you can't deny us the right to create a competition and basically give people a choice. But that doesn't mean the right is automatically given. No. Indeed. Which is what the EU ruling made very clear as well. Right. So it would appear that

after all that, that if any... So this is what A22 believe, that if any club...

does indeed enter talks with them about joining this potential competition, which we will map out for you in just a moment, clubs wouldn't face punishment. Now, the Premier League threatened the six Prem teams that chose to join the Super League last time with a £25 million fine and a 30-point deduction. Now, the teams that did say yes to the European Super League, and let's name and shame them again, shall we? Arsenal, Spurs, Man City, Man United, Liverpool and...

Chelsea. So yes, those six wonderful examples of football clubs said they wouldn't participate in any future business with A22. Will this test them? It will. I think for some reason A22, I forgot the

Named after a road. Well, I thought it was like, remember like, you know, that film company that do really worthy sort of artsy films, A24. I was getting really confused going, what's going on here? Is this a, is this a film? Is this a project? So it's below that and it's below Brighton versus Palace. It is, yeah, yeah. Essentially. It seems to be. Well, so this is, they've laid out their plans how this competition would work.

So if you remember, the Super League was a closed shop between, what was it? How many clubs was it? 16? I forget now. But you remember that the two Madrid clubs were in it, the two Milan clubs, Juventus. Oh, but there was always going to be meritocratic entry. Barcelona, exactly. Very, very, very small measure. Yeah, incredibly PSG weren't a part of it, were they?

but then maybe there's a reason for that, but there is, there's a big reason. And the reason why man city are involved is because I think, you know, if you're going to take those other ones, I've mentioned there, therefore we'll chuck them in and deal with that later. Um, so anyway, so it was a closed shop, uh,

And, you know, roughly 16 teams, whatever it was. This time round, much bolder, much bigger. 96 team structure with annual qualification based on domestic league performance. Now, within this 96 team structure, you have four different leagues. Star, gold, blue, and union blue. Oh, sweary.

The sexy swearing. Yeah, you're not allowed to be known as very much like when you play Prevo. They don't have a real name, so they're motherfucking Arsenal. And it's Whitey Chelsea. What about Union, eh? For the lowest rung. Yeah. Union sounds like better, doesn't it? Like Union sounds good.

Yeah, that's what I think. I think they're trying to make it sound like... It sounds like going for gold, really, doesn't it? Going for star is what you want to be doing. Yes, exactly. Union City blue. Marcus, how is this whole thing, this whole shebang going to work as a league structure? Because it's worth explaining now because we'll never need to think about it again. LAUGHTER

Because it'll probably never happen. I want people to know the details. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. It's fanciful, not a shit that someone wrote on the back of a cigarette packet. Indeed. So Star and Gold Leagues will each have 16 teams split into two groups of eight. Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So you'll get the gist in a moment. So the Blue and Union Leagues, each of them on their own, have 32 teams split into four groups of eight.

Right. Can we have an Aperture and a Klausura version as well? If you want, you can do that. So teams will play each other home and away. So this will be 14 matches. 14 matches. Bearing in mind the current Champions League format, everyone goes...

We're up to eight games in the first round of this. This is a bit much. Players are creaking. 14. Well, I think that this answers the question and the demand that everybody, from players to managers to fans, that we want more football, Andy. So it satisfies that. So 14 matches. The top four clubs in the Star and Gold Leagues and the top two in the Blue and Union Leagues then go into quarterfinals. So into the knockouts, right? Yeah.

quarterfinals obviously played over two legs and then in the star and gold leagues the semis and the final will be played in a single territory for the last what would turn out to be the last week of the club season if you like a bit like the UEFA Nations League you play the semis and the final almost like a sort of a little

tournament-y style thing. A bit like COVID Champions League and Europa League where you have this final four, final eight sort of business. I have to say, I'm really impressed, Mr Speller, by your pitch for A22 spokesman. It's very, very impressive. I'm sold on the product now in a way that I wasn't before. The only thing I would say with regards... Have we not already got this? Yes.

We've already got a better version of this. Do you think that this kind of, the change in the Champions League format was very much to see off a bit of this? It was. To make it a bit more... It's exactly what it was. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. Look, I really... Hasn't worked, though. I really appreciate your patience in explaining that. The reason it hasn't worked is because the format of it is essentially irrelevant in this discussion. And you can tell because this is, well, firstly, it's a total back-of-a-fag-packet idea. Mm-hmm.

And secondly, it's never really about the actual competition. It's never about the quality of the football. It's about the biggest clubs right or a company that's marshalling the interests of a couple of these biggest clubs in particular. You can name them. Real Madrid. Real Madrid and Barcelona. We don't really need to name them, but that's who they are. Don't forget Juventus are in this as well. They're very keen. No, Juventus are less involved than they were. Of course, they've had a complete

Structural change at what? How the mighty have fallen, Andy. You know what I mean? So it's not about the format of the competition. It's not about better football, despite what Real Madrid might argue. It is about the biggest clubs having a license to print money and having an ability to organize the competition rather than UEFA. That is all it is about. Yeah, it might as well be called the Real Madrid League, essentially. I mean, it did say that the Unify League could be made free to air. Oh.

And it says could. I mean, could do that. It's a similar model to the Club World Cup. It's like this evil concept, we're going to give it to you for free and that's how we're going to get you on board. Yeah, yeah. That one's free. It often is. Exactly. I mean, it is a remarkable thing. And talking of Real Madrid and all that...

as you say, have come out in favour of this. The Madrid chief exec, Jose Angel Sanchez, went as far as to compare UEFA to the musicians on the Titanic playing on despite impending doom. Get to the asterisk bit, please. Which was quite good indeed. He also said this, we feel like Asterix's village in a world dominated by Romans. Do you think you would

It's a very retro reference, isn't it? It is. I never really watched Asterix. Pete, could you do a quick explain on Asterix? It was the only thing you would want to read in a school library. LAUGHTER

Because Tintin was too boring. How dare you take that back? Where was Asterix based? It was... Was he a Viking or something? Was he up there kind of? I feel like he was... He was Northern France, was he? Was he Northern France? Oh, he was the Gauls, wasn't he? I understand why you thought... He was a bloody Gaul, wasn't he? But it was a Nordic vibe about it. I understand why you thought that. Is it because of... The helmets. The helmets, exactly. He was in Northern France...

Talking of helmets, tell us more about what Jose Angel Sanchez had to say. Anyway, so yeah, we feel like Asterix's village in a world dominated by the Romans. I think people do get the Romans reference, though, even though it's more retro than Asterix, you might argue. We too feel like we have our magic potion. We are a very special club with a strong tradition, but we have to keep fighting these battles to defend ourselves. I mean, it...

you've got to feel sorry for the man. They get them to defend themselves. The balls. It's a bit like Man City trying to, you know, fight against the evil majority, isn't it? But that is exactly what it's like. Because the baddies in Asterix was Julius Caesar, wasn't he? Yeah. He was the main baddie. So, um...

Is that saffron? I don't know. I have no idea. I feel... Real Madrid painting themselves as the little guy is a different level of shamelessness. It's not new. It isn't. Throughout this whole process, and when I talk about this process, of course, it never really stopped.

when we go back a couple of years and the original idea was rejected. But Real Madrid continuing to try and paint themselves as sticking up for the future of football against the tyranny of UEFA is extraordinary. If Real Madrid did this...

during that period where they couldn't get past the second round of the Champions League or they hadn't been to the final I kind of go but they got stuck in the last 16 yeah right I can see what happens but they keep winning the Champions League it's like lads why are you bothered you

You're the most profitable club in the world. You keep winning the competition, which is easily the most... Could be more lucrative, couldn't it? But that's the thing. You're talking about sporting glory, whereas we're talking about money. Like I said, it's nothing to do with the format, with the competition. And that's how perverse Jose Angel Sanchez's comments are because he talks about sporting glory. He talks about the meritocracy. He talks about...

you know, the quality of it. He's talking about it on the pitch. It's amazing. He's talking about it on the pitch. We'll keep doing what you're doing then. Yeah, it's total bollocks. To say we have a strong tradition, we're going to say, and we're going to fuck that tradition by leaving the European Cup slash Champions League behind us. Create a crap competition with absolutely no history and, um,

and create more football for a little bit. I find it extraordinary. He did say about, you know, we need to stop all this business with clubs being state-owned. Well, that's something we can all get behind, but that's not the way to do it. No. That's absolutely not the way to do it. My only thing I find...

where this may have a tiny teensy flicker of hope for A22 is if they are given the right to create this competition it would essentially create a scenario where clubs would choose which governing body to go to

And they may get support with some of the smaller nations and the smaller leagues who find it difficult to qualify for the first round of the Champions League. Or if they do, they don't do much. Whereas if they're saying winners of all domestic leagues, like it used to be in the European Cup, it used to be in the Champions League when it changed format.

they can go straight into the star on goal tier. I could imagine... I mean, that's not what they'll be saying. No, but if they seduce them with that kind of argument, I could see that the likes of, you know, Romanian clubs or Hungarian clubs are thinking, hang on a minute, we could be... I mean, basically, once you get down to the blue and union leagues, we're talking about replacing the...

Europa League and the conference. Yeah, because as I say, this thing basically already exists. But yeah, the money is the seduction, as you say. And I agree, it will appeal to some smaller leagues. And the thing is, any idea that's going to have traction in world football, it's kind of like, if you go back to the era of

Platini in charge of UEFA, the support that Blatter had when he was in charge of FIFA. It's easy for us to be in England, a really affluent football culture, and say, how can you vote for this guy, etc. Well, the reason these guys get power is by looking out for one member, one vote, and thinking, let's get everyone on board. That's why Jean Avalanche changed the whole structure of FIFA, because people said there was far less corruption under Sir Stanley Rouse.

but there was way more kind of colonial mindset. Yeah. That's exactly it. So something's not all bad and it's not all good. But I feel that maybe that argument is we're getting away from what is actually going on here. This is Real Madrid...

with their odd little sidekick Barcelona in this situation trying to say I guess it's not that odd really when you think about how football works in the modern era it's like I don't know if you come off the pitch for example Bayern and Dortmund

who, by the way, German clubs are never going to be involved in this and PSG are never going to be involved in this, which is kind of a stumbling block, I think, when you look at modern football. Because PSG and QSI, their ultimate owners, used the potential schism of the original Super League idea going back three or four years to cement their power base in UEFA and Nasser Al-Khalafi used it to cement his power base in UEFA and the ECA.

And German clubs, culturally, they just can't do it. It's not possible for them to do it. But what I was going to say is that Bayern and Dortmund, you think of them as eternal rivals on the pitch. Obviously, it's a modern marketing construct. Even that...

that rivalry in inverted commas on the pitch. But outside Germany, their interests are basically the same in terms of growing the brand and getting as much money as possible. So the fact that Real Madrid and Barcelona are cosying up in that sense, it's just an indication of globalised football. It's nothing really to do with the actual game. I think everybody should give them... If indeed it comes... I think if it does come to...

a situation as I say where clubs have to choose and it may not get to that but if it does I think clubs should say to us yeah we're going to go for it so then Real Madrid go right we're going to be playing in this competition and everyone goes dah dah you're not winning the Champions League this year are you what do you reckon Peter you for it or against it I'm definitely for it

Any ideas that don't come from the Premier League, I'm just for, generally. Anything from, much like the A22, Eastbourne. Anything Eastbourne, I'm there. You're on to it. Yeah, okay. Give it a chance. Give it a chance. No idea is a bad idea. Well, someone just give the A22 boys a chance for crying out loud. If you were in a meeting with A22, would you say, no idea is a bad idea. Actually, let me row back on that. No.

Like I said, Marcus, it depends whether you're presenting the idea or not. Yeah, that's true. It's all down to me. It is all down to you. This is all on you. Oh, blimey. What a sellout that would be. As people, and it's one of the things that I really do love about modern football, you know, how people stand behind the goal and when a team's losing, they chant to the goalkeeper, it's all your fault. It's all your fault. I really enjoy that now. And we'll be saying that about you and the Super League in the future. You're putting a lot on me here, Andy. I bloody am. All right. Okay. All right. Well, some mustard on him.

That would be the ultimate insult, wouldn't it? Right, coming up after this, we've got some sweet, juicy carabao.

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Before we get to tonight's fixtures, and I've been very patient with this, everybody, I want to talk about England's World Cup qualifying group that was announced, was it last week? Well, yeah, like eating too much at Christmas, the food will foster to out eventually. LAUGHTER

And Marcus has been trying to get this at every show. Essentially, this is the profiteroles coming out at Christmas. And most people around the table go, oh, I'm full. Whereas Marcus is going, it's the pudding. It is. And profiteroles are so light.

I mean, come on now. Peter, I'm... I bought two expired custard tarts. Why did you... No, they were soon to be expired. Well, they're expired now because I ate one of them. There's still one left in the fridge. I will be eating this afternoon. You didn't buy them expired. I didn't buy them expired. I just want to defend that shopkeeper. I don't want to smudge the good name of Morrison's in Chalkwell.

But yeah, and I just think profittles and eclairs, anything from the eclair shoe family, I think you can eat them at any time of the day. Isn't that the danger, though? They're so light. Any time of the day. Any time of the day. 3 a.m. I was doing him a favour by glossing over that. I have to pop out of the garage to get a new box of cornflakes. All right, get us eclair. Get us eclair for crying out loud. A few calories are needed to get that.

Well, I don't know where we were, but apparently England's World Cup qualifying group was less important than, you know, Champions League and Manchester derbies and stuff. So here we are. England will face Alexander Mitrovic's Serbia, Albania, Latvia and Andorra in a qualifying group for 2026. You'd bloody take that, wouldn't you? Yeah, I mean, I think you probably would.

It's the most England of World Cup qualifying groups. Do you think so? A group that they would be tipped to kind of breeze. Although, I mean, Serbia and Albania are no mugs. I understand England are better than them. I understand England are heavy favourites for this group. Okay. But there's probably a bloody nose in there, isn't there? You do have two proper sides there. Of course. And not just because Serbia are playing Albania.

Yeah, I'd like to move on from that, Andy. Okay, if I may. You go for it. So yes, it is a five-team group. Qualifying will start during the March international break with Tommy Tuchel at the helm. Did you feel full of enthusiasm to see Tuchel there doing the portrait selfie video in what essentially looked like a school uniform? I'll be honest with you. When I saw him in the suit and tie...

I thought, oh, bloody hell, this is happening. This is real. So he was so used to Southgate doing it, of course. And Tuchel, I mean, I want him to be like he is normally, fully England track suited up. Oh, yeah, for sure. He's basically just gone in and raided the club shop just before kickoff, hasn't he? Absolutely. The Klopp vibes. Yeah, exactly. But for some reason, though, I feel like he's even more than Klopp. I feel like Klopp...

was, you know, the cap, the shoes, the trails, whereas like, Tuco would be like wrapped in a scarf even if it's August, you know, everything he can get. Well, exactly. That's his vibe, isn't it? He's quite intense. So he's probably gone in there thinking, oh, I might get myself a scarf and has come out wearing everything I want at all. Magnets. I think that's what it is. Fridge magnets. A lot. So yeah, it's,

It's fascinating, really. It did get me sort of glancing into the future as I do. But I think England have got to be fairly pleased. Scotland will play in a four-team group featuring the team that loses the Nations League quarterfinal between Portugal and Denmark. They're also in with Greece and Belarus. It feels quite hard, doesn't it? It does feel a bit difficult because Greece aren't a bad side. Scotland would feel like they can beat them, which of course they can.

you'd probably rather Denmark than Portugal at the moment would you? Yeah definitely. So it's good for them that they will be drawn against a side that loses I suppose you would think so in a four team group yeah so there's no dead rubbers in that Wales were drawn with Belgium obviously that always happens Cheer KDB up won't it? Exactly they're also in with North Macedonia Kazakhstan and Liechtenstein so yeah

Yeah, a little bit of travel for Wales, basically to Kazakhstan. But I think that, again, it's a tricky group. But it could be worse than... Drawing Belgium, it could have been worse. Definitely doable. And Belgium are not amazing. Belgium are doable now, aren't they? They are, absolutely. I feel like Wales are in a really good place under Craig Bellamy. Yeah, fun. Could be a changing of the guard from Kevin De Bruyne to Harry Wilson.

There we go. There we go, everybody. So, love that. All right, then. Tonight, we've got some Carabao Cup action. Southampton host Liverpool. Who do you fancy for that one, Peter? Well, who knows? I mean, Simon Rusk at the helm in the dugout. A man I don't think I've ever heard of.

Do you not keep up with Southampton under-21s? I don't know, to be honest. I don't know where Simon Ruska's come from. Well, the Ruskateer is in charge of them tonight. Following the sacking. I hope it's not raining. They're very absorbent. LAUGHTER

He's in a bowl of milk. He's in a bowl of milk in the dugout. Just absorbing, absorbing cow milk. Footballing action. Yeah, of course, Russell Martin is gone. So Simon Rusk is in charge.

As mentioned on Monday though, Sheffield Wednesday's Danny Rule is favourite to be the next Southampton manager. However, former Denmark boss Kasper Holmund is also being linked. Ooh, interesting one. Who would you fancy for it, Andy?

Bearing in mind they're on a hiding to nothing. Well, I think Danny Rowe feels like the more progressive appointment, doesn't he? Do you not think Rowe would be mad to go, considering the fine work he's been doing at Wednesday? Yeah, most people would be mad to go. You said most. Who are the few that wouldn't be mad? Let's drill down on that. I want you to drill down on that. I don't care about the majority here. Vito Paredes spoken for. He's gone. We've already discussed it. That would have been... He would have just been incandescent.

Yeah. With Wolves, he's got a fighting chance. So come on, who are the few? Yeah, I mean, Hewman... Is Paolo D'Acanio, is he still interested in football management? Come on, ladies and gentlemen. I mentioned Allardyce on Monday. I mean, he's interested in football. Whether he has any reasonable views on it, or whether he has any reasonable views generally... I was going to say. I would slightly question, given his regular appearances on Sky Sport Italia. And his tattoos. Yeah. Yeah.

But I think from a Southampton perspective, Danny Rowley is surely the one. He's got lovely thick hair. He would come into being the thickest haired man in the Premier League very, very easily. It is like a big helmet. Lovely. Thomas Frank? Well,

No, as an older man, you start to lose a bit of the body. Frank's hair's fantastic. Oh, it is. He's the Marcus Speller of the Premier League. Yeah. The George Jesus of the Premier League. There's a lineage there, which goes from...

George to me. Okay. Well, it's been reported, as Turner returns to Liverpool, it's been reported that Mo Salah is close to signing a new contract with the club. I didn't see that. I thought he was absolutely out the door, but it turns out you can rattle your saber when it comes to demanding a new contract for about two seasons. Is that good for him? Wow, yeah. Turns out you can play well. Pay out. Yeah.

Rewarded with it. I know what you mean. I thought he might be coming to the end. But then after this season, is he thinking, oh man, I'm still dominating this league. I'll just stick around a bit. Maybe that's what it was. But very good news for Liverpool, of course, if he does sign a new contract. Bad news for Liverpool. Yeah, this farm might fall off. This farm's gotten very good lately. Now he's looking for one. I mean, that's the plan. You sign it and then you start declining, right? The rest of the league can live in hope, is what I would say. Well, obviously Liverpool are favourites for that one.

and I'll tell you something you know they didn't quite manage to win a quadruple under Klopp the quadruple's on this season though isn't it isn't it Andy slot doing what Klopp couldn't amazing yeah let's see Arsenal play Crystal Palace tonight of course Mikel Arteta believes that winning the Carabao Cup could help Arsenal challenge for the Premier League again if something strange happens with the rules yes yes

Well, we know that the prize money, what was it? 150 grand or something. So, you know, there's a bit of injection there. But Mikel Arteta, like many other managers, has...

has spoken about the Carabao Cup as a sort of gateway kind of cup to open the door to other ones. He said it brings belief, trust and positive energy. Has he really said positive energy in conjunction with the Carabao Cup? Well, he is just talking about Carabao itself there. Yes, I think so. But then...

Do you remember Boos Guaranas? Do you remember Boos Guaranas? Anyone who was a student round in the noughties, Will. Boos Guaranas. They couldn't, they literally couldn't give them away at the union. They were boxed. Who'd want to boost students going free? No, you're all right. Nobody wanted to boost anywhere. Even Les wanted Guarana one. We had a, we would, I had a couple of boxes and they lasted a long time in our house. Wow.

So, with you around, you're like me, though. You'll just eat any old tap. Pete, to the point of, right, our neighbour was... You're saying that the dogs, the neighbour dogs. No, no, no. The neighbour where we lived had links to the military and around the time when, you know, Iraq and all that was happening. What, you thought they needed a boost? Wait, wait, wait. He came back...

And he went, oh, look, here you go, lads. I'll give you something. Here's a load of ration packs that they give to the army. He was quite interested. Oh, right. The chocolate in the ration packs went straight away. But there were Buscaranas still sitting on any surface in our house. Buscaranas everywhere. He couldn't move a Buscarana. So does this not compare favourably to the only sugary drink I would drink, which is Guaraná Antarctica? Is that Brazilian Guaraná? It is, isn't it? Yeah. I know the one you mean. Guaraná's okay. Yeah.

Oh, I really like it. But that's a sugar piece. It's not an energy drink. I mean, I understand why you might... It is for me. There's enough sugar in it. Right. That's true, Andy. That's true. Just walking past a sweet shop is enough for you. Yeah, it's like when you're little and your mum gives you Lucozade. Or was that just me? I was going to say my mum was more responsible than that.

I was back at school in ten minutes. She gave me a special methamphetamine. Like the troops of World War II. I do know a Northern Irish person who genuinely said when they were young they were given Guinness because it was full of iron and almost like medicine. My dad did give me snuff underage, I remember. Right. God.

I don't know what fucking era I come from. Snuff. I remember him giving me snuff ones. See, this is what Mikel Arteta for you. He's put us in a position where we're naming and shaming our parents. I thought bald sweets were bad enough. Well, Mikel Arteta was asked about only winning one trophy in five years at Arsenal. And he said, well, the charity shield twice. No, so it's three. Up yours, everybody. I'll be honest with you, I forgot he won the FA Cup. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, so one more. It seems like a different era of Arsenal. Oh, it was a different era. Even though it was still Arteta. Well, I mean, Emi Martinez was in golf for the final. Amazing. And what, Aubameyang would have been up for it? Yeah, he was, yeah. Oh my goodness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He turned up on time. Well, he played. He played. He got the trophy win and off he went. Yeah.

I don't know if he did turn up on time. There are no fans in Stanton. That's a good point, actually, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Well, Arsenal and Palace play each other twice this week. They play in the league on Saturday as well. Maybe that's what Arteta means by, you know, if you win in the Carabao Cup, it could help them in the Premier League. If you get one over them tonight, we know we can beat them. Maybe that's the psychology he's talking about. And Petey, tonight, Newcastle United host...

Thomas Frank and his beautiful hair and his beautiful Brentford team. Think how windswept that hair will be in the Toon. Fabulous, fabulous. Well, Newcastle beat Leicester 4-0 at the weekend, but then Brentford did pump Newcastle recently, but that was...

in Brentford it was in Brentford but also my sort of rule is that the aforementioned give it some value when you're not on the telly I don't believe it was a 3pm kick off I think so it was not on the telly so therefore this one is on the telly but it's also on Sky Sports Plus which is quite confusing to find but you can find it are you starting clicking channels now to get there I'll get there in the end yeah but I'm really looking forward to this one because it's just it's our competition isn't it it's Newcastle's competition

Explain that. Just, well, we get close. We got closer than I've ever seen. They and Eddie Howe badly need this, don't they? Yeah, they do. This could be a career resurrector. Well, in this competition, which apparently is Newcastle's competition, they have only made it past the quarterfinals once. What?

Yeah. Pete's, yeah, it's, it's, it's, well, in many ways, it's my competition as well. I see. I see. And, and, yeah, and, and, and so, so you go past the quarterfinals once and it's, and of course the World Cup is now Morocco's competition as well. People might have said, South Korea, thank you. People, South Korea, people might have thought you could have used England for that. Well, no, no. Uh,

So, up yours. Well, I think that Newcastle are going to give them a good game, Peter. They are. As they did against... Bold prediction. As they did against Andy's side and Chelsea. I'm going to stick my neck out. But I think it's funny because if you look at the quarterfinals of the Carabao Cup, there are two teams who really badly need this and it's Newcastle and Spurs. And yet, you still have...

Liverpool, Arsenal left in it. It's tricky, isn't it? If you were the Liverpool manager, would you sort of be resting players potentially? Because I've got a lot of... Yes, against Southampton, yes I would. Yes, I would. I would absolutely be resting players. So, therefore, you've opened the door to an under-21s manager getting involved. Well, yeah, I mean, and you look around... In a pool of milk. In a pool of milk. I know what you mean. Liverpool will be favourites for what they're doing. Liverpool and Arsenal, though...

of the two standout teams. But, right, Spurs, I mean, Spurs should be looking at Man United and thinking, come on. Who wants a two-legged semi-final? Nobody wants that. In January. Who wants that? Nobody. No, that's true. So therefore, tank it. Let us through. It's Newcastle's competition to win. Thank you. Tank it.

it. Thank it. Alright, let's leave on that note. Thanks for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Acast Creator Network. Patreon subscribers, don't go anywhere. Keep listening for Ramble Uncut. And if you're not a Patreon subscriber, sign up to get Ramble Uncut every single Wednesday. Head over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble and do follow us on X, TikTok, Blue Sky and Instagram at football ramble and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, Andy. Thank you. Thanks, PTD. Hi. Bye.

I got distracted by Sam Barrett, the referee. He's going to be refereeing this Newcastle-Brentford match and he looks like the blocker of the high-performance podcast, Jake Humphrey. I see. Is that what Jake's known as? I don't really want to watch it anymore. And thank you, A22. The Football Ramble is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creative Network.

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