Mailbag: Is this the end of the one-club man?
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I'm not familiar with the administrative needs of this show. Welcome to the Football Ramble Mailbag. Shit. What are you doing? What are you doing? It's Christmas!

Welcome to the Football Rumble Mailbag. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Jim Campbell. Sorry, Jim. The mailbag is here. That was really good, Noddy Holder. Was it? Oh, no. If I generally would try, I'd go a bit higher. That was really good. Do you think you can do it better than that? I reckon so. Go on, then. It's Christmas!

That's really good. Yeah, it's good. How have we got this far in our friendship not knowing that you had that in your locker? Because I was all about the It's Spin thing. True, yeah. That's true. You off out. You're just closing the curtains. Closing the Christmas curtains because you mustn't let the children see the toys. Yes. While we're on Noddy Holder, do you remember the... Imagine being on Noddy Holder. As many women were in the 70s, I imagine. Indeed. The sexy man. He did a...

an advertising campaign for Nobby's Nuts. Nobby's Nuts, yes. Where it would always cut to him going, not Noddy's, Nobby's. Obviously the idea being that so many people were getting confused and they were going around trying to eat his nuts. Trying to put his nuts in his back, yeah. I remember the advert well and I enjoyed it. And I enjoyed the explanation, Jim. Indeed. They've done really well to actually...

get that from the conception to the execution. There would have been so many people going, we can't do that. Pretty root one stuff, wasn't it? It's the best food-based advert explanation I've had since about three months ago in this very studio when Pete realised to himself in real time that pepperamis, it's a bit of an animal, had a double meaning. Yeah, I realised it at the same time. Well, from bowl bags to mail bags. Welcome to it.

If you want to get involved with the mailbag, of course, you can tweet us on X at FootballRamble, message us on Instagram and BlueSky at FootballRamble. And of course, you can email us at show at FootballRamble.com. What's the latest? What's your latest take on BlueSky? Are you enjoying it? I've not really dipped a toe, to be honest. It's kind of... Still a Twitter guy. Well... You prefer your freedom of speech, don't you? Twitter.

I like the... It's important, actually. I click away from the following tab, actually, just to see what's going on out there. Yeah. So I like, you know, beheading videos and boobs. That's my main kind of food groups. In that order. In that order, yeah, exactly. And then a lovely pepperoni. We get a message because I'm a bit of a shit. From Keith on Blue Sky, it's our opening message. Jim, do you want to kick us off? Yes. Keith says...

With Marcus Rashford set to leave Manchester United and with Trent Alexander-Arnold potentially leaving for Madrid in the summer, are we nearing the end of the one club man? It's a good question. Sorry, I'm allergic to one club men. It's a really good question, isn't it? And I think the answer is probably no, although it's more...

it's less likely. Not at the top sides. You'd imagine like Ipswich will throw one up here and there. I don't know about that so much. I think they've always been quite rare, right? So for that reason, there's always this sense that they're a dying breed. Also, you know, footballers have never been treated more like assets, right? Because of the financial rules that were coming. Connor Gallagher's a

a good example of this I know he wouldn't necessarily be a one club man because he had some loans and I don't know where you stand on that are you truly a one club man if you've had loans maybe that's another question most players who are talented have loans don't they just to sort of cut their teeth a little bit David Beckham at Preston North End Ashley Cole at Crystal Palace Harry Kane at Leicester like these ones you don't think about or Leighton Orient anyway John Terry did one as well didn't he

I can't remember where it was but he did one anyway separate point I think so Conor Gallagher is somebody who was doing really well at Chelsea was really liked at Chelsea didn't really necessarily want to move but the financial situation Chelsea found them in meant that they had to move him onto Atletico Madrid it's kind of worked out well for everybody but

that sort of transfer in the it's certainly in the past few windows has become a bit more common isn't it like obviously Newcastle have lost players they didn't want to lose it like Elliot Anderson and Jakob Minter players they wouldn't like to keep yeah exactly so I think it's that definitely makes it a bit yeah I think that makes it a bit more likely that we'll see less of it can I put another little conversational hot potato right into the mix

I'll give you another reason why it's less likely. Is it because most players start at the Man City Academy and go elsewhere? Well, it's partly to do with that. It's partly to do with that because if you were a really talented young kid now, you're not going to stay, you're less likely to stay at your local club. So the example I would use, he's now no longer a one club man because he's moved to Manchester United, but Mason Mount came up in Portsmouth, was at a local team in Portsmouth and

because of the way the world is now and because of EPPP, which I mention every single mailbag because it's related to so much different stuff in football, he was off to Chelsea at the age of like seven or something. And just in the past, that never would have happened. Now, Mason Mount's probably... Seven is probably very young. I think that... Dick Whittington-esque. If you go there at seven, you probably do develop an affinity with the club and you might want to stay there longer. But if you're being moved from...

everything you've ever known in your hometown at, say, the age of 15, because Man City think you're brilliant and you go to Man City, I just don't think you're going to have as much of an affinity with Man City as opposed to when you've been at your local club growing up all the way through and develop that kind of real link and bond with them. So I think...

Footballers are more asset-like and more transient these days generally for all those different reasons. Coming from Portsmouth yourself, how was it like converting to drinking clean drinking water? I've never really taken to it to be honest. And I will take that for many, many people. I will take that kind of insult for probably 90% of the people in my life.

I would say that... But I can't take it from you. A lot of fluoride in our drinking water. Yeah. The RFK'd have a bloody field goal. RFK Junior, if you don't mind. RFK Junior, I'm so sorry. So I think that's disrespectful, not just to me, your colleague and friend, but also to the people of a proud city in Portsmouth. That's true.

Mason Mount's middle name is Tony, by the way. Not Anthony, Tony. That's interesting. Joseph Dave Gomez at Liverpool, which I love as well. Isn't it just Dave? Yeah, yeah. Very nice. It's brilliant, isn't it? Another thing on the one club man as well. I think some of the most famous examples of it are people like Ryan Giggs and Paolo Maldini, where if you manage to break through a club of that scale in like a major city where you are surrounded by friends and family and, and, and,

essentially become a kind of a massive deal in a big pond yeah then you probably don't want to leave right and there's probably every reason to stay for those particular examples so I think you will always get players like that I mean even Steven Gerrard went to LA Galaxy at the end so it

perhaps there are examples of actually there are late stage destinations for players now that mean the one club man is even less likely because they might get a big payoff somewhere else like Paul Scholes going to Royton Town and Oldham for a couple of games exactly Giggs he probably wanted to stay around his brother

Do you not think that players like that, you have to have this manager who will bring youth players through and will kind of support them. And Alex Ferguson's proper lightning in the bottle, you're not going to get that again. To give such support and such a holistic approach to management. And some...

well, maybe, but also you've got to be good enough, right? Yeah, it's about the player, I think, more than the managers. And some players, like Paul Scholes, for example, is famously, you know, he's just a bit of a homeboy. Yeah, yeah. He likes being an Oldham, likes having a fairly normal, regular life, didn't really have a huge desire to go anywhere else, clearly could have gone to any club in world football at his best because he was amazing. Giggs, the same. Didn't want to, but at the same time, that period of time did coincide with Man Utd being the best they've ever been. Mm.

So, I mean, there's no real proper motivation to go when you're a part of something that's bigger than you and you're getting paid more money than you can ever spend anyway. But like I said, I do think it means it's less likely because, as Jim rightly says, they're much more like assets now. Part of the reason Marcus Rashford will probably leave Man United is...

isn't just because of the fact that he might need to change or he's stagnated a bit. It's partly because the PSR rules now mean that he's so incredibly valuable to them as pure profit to be moved on. It helps them. It helps their balance sheet. Balance sheets weren't so much in play as much, certainly not this level, back in the day. And I think also, if you go back to the 50s and 60s, you do have players that Jim says, it's almost like a regular job. They hold it down in their hometown. That's what they do for a living. But also...

A lot of players then and a lot of players now at lower league level have to be itinerant because the financial model for lower league clubs is terrible now. Players who aren't the best players around have to go where their services are needed, right? So they flip around and do other stuff. So I don't think Marcus Rashford and Trent Alexander-Arnold are potentially moving because neither of them have left yet.

anything bigger necessarily but I do think you know it's a conversation around the fact that it's less likely to happen now because also because the world is just smaller right you're much more you're much more like if you're good at your job in London depending on the industry it's much more likely you'd go to New York or somewhere else than it would have been 30 years ago whatever so the one thing you can't do over Zoom though is football yeah

in many ways. Yeah. Unless you're Jürgen Klinsmann. Unless you're Jürgen Klinsmann. Very, very good point. All right, let's move on to Ezra, who got in touch via Blue Sky. Which club's fan culture do you admire the most, even if it's not your own team? And why? The Arsenal store.

Oh yeah, they sell stuff all the time. The Armoury. Yeah, they're good at selling stuff. The Armoury. They sent us a couple of jackets recently. Don't give them what they want. Don't give them what they want. It's a bad jacket. It's got asbestos in it. LAUGHTER

It's backfired, isn't it? It's one of those jackets where you go, the more you look at it, the better it gets. Do you know what I mean? It's got lovely sort of pleather on the arms, which you don't normally see with the spots where... I think it might be leather. You reckon? Yeah, I think it might be leather. North London, vegan, come on. They're not going to be selling leather. I'm being partly churlish here, but what I mean is that Arsenal do have a...

kind of branding and a culture that it feels to me from the outside looking in there's something more than just a football team when it's like Arsenal and it's bigger than nostalgia as well it's bigger than kind of like the you know Newcastle beating Man United 5-0 you know these kind of

that's all anyone ever talks about is the entertainers of the 90s but I think with Arsenal it's so much bigger and the but you love Arsenal don't you well there's a diversity there right which is a big big part of it and that's been a thing Arsenal have been very proud of for a very very long time they've had a

a lot of black players down the years. They're well supported in the black community. And that is something that not every club has had. And I think Crystal Palace is similar as well, actually. And I really like their culture. I think there's a lot of parallels there. I mean, I like the fan culture thing. I like when people have, this is bringing us on a little bit kind of controversial, but I like it when people watch football and like their team as part of many, lots of different things they're interested in. I think far too often fan culture can just be, it's me playing,

And I support Arsenal and Arsenal is my only culture. And I think that's... I'm not particular about choosing Arsenal for any particular reason other than they just already came up. But that is like a little bit one-eyed for me. I prefer it to be a bit broader. And I like it when football clubs and football fans stand for something beyond just a football club. And that happens a lot in Europe, for example. In Germany...

They have a very keen idea of their role, not just as a football club and a fan base, but within society. The things they'll stand for, the things they won't. The things they'll very keenly and usually successfully protest against because they understand the value of football rather than just the price of it. And I get hammered by about five or six different people online for saying that phrase on every show I do. Which one? The price of everything and the value of nothing. I don't think German fans...

Whenever I've been to Germany and watched it, the culture and the kind of... The theatre of it and the understanding of their place within a wider society, a wider context...

is much better, I think. And I think, for example, German clubs, fans of German clubs are far more likely to show solidarity with fans of other clubs against a common enemy than Premier League fans who tend to be a bit like, ha ha, your club's going... Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there's a big... I think I wouldn't be surprised if actually Germany was unique in that and that England is...

the attitude we see in England is more sort of common in other countries as well. We mainly focus on literally stopping people from starving through food banks, don't we? That's our major thing. North East, for example, I'm not saying all of them, and I'm not even saying it was a majority, but when Sunderland were going through that period, Sunderland until we die, all that kind of stuff, and it was a really bad time, there were some Newcastle fans who were like glorying in it. Oh yeah, absolutely. And not understanding that actually this area

could apply to you but for one billionaire this could apply to you this is the same culture you're in the same area geographically you're the same and so especially when those two communities are so close to each other it's literally a bridge you know and you're kind of there that would never happen in Boston or Surumptown because Surumptown don't have any cultures

Oh, it's Titanic. Newcastle Sunderland is pretty unique, isn't it? Because they're two one club cities who are very near each other. Yeah. Which is... With Gateshead sort of hanging out as well. Yeah. Hello. Can we have all of your players when they retire, please? Thank you. One of the really interesting things about one club cities is that...

the fandom feels like a religion almost. Like when we went to Napoli, that's a great example of that. Now, I really liked it, but it was also, it was kind of a bit much at the same time. It was a bit terrifying almost, quite how much people are into it. It's intense. It is intense. I, I,

I'm just going to rub a few feathers. I quite enjoy Celtic. They're quite... Historically, they just had some really awesome players and the supporters just seem to have that kind of lovely sort of... I can't believe you're going for this. The supporters... Let him cook. I will let him cook and he'll torch everything. In the men, they just have a good sense of humour about stuff and I think it's...

Apart from all the obvious stuff, I just think most of them deal with... Apart from all the obvious stuff. Examine that statement. Most of them deal... That lad's showering his son about Nakamura. Press the button. Press the button. All right. This episode is sponsored by Hims Hair. Lads, let's face it, when you're heading out the door, it's phone, wallet, keys, and for some of us, a quick grab for a hat because the hairline is starting to look a little bit offside. But don't panic, Hims has got you covered. And no, not with another hat.

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Ryan Reynolds here for, I guess, my 100th Mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, honestly, when I started this, I thought I'd only have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month. How are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming here. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch whenever you're ready. For

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All right, what about this from John on Discord? He's the next cab off the rank. Our favourite rank, the Discord. What a rank it is. You should also sign up to patreon.com forward slash football rumble for your access to the Discord. There's so much on there. I'm always on there. I'll be honest with you, I'm always on there. Leave them alone. I know, I can't. I'm picking on them. I've got nothing else going on. You're like a jailer. I'm not picking on them, I'm just enjoying it. I'm just watching.

John on Discord says, following on from last week's discussion about the 2034 World Cup in Saudi Arabia, is there any way that the tournament doesn't go ahead? A massive boycott by players or nations or confederations perhaps, a rival tournament maybe or something else. I feel the work to not sleepwalk into this obvious disaster has to start soon. I would completely agree with John on that. If there's going to be any sort of thing put in place to try and derail this fiasco, then it does have to start soon. I think in terms of...

you know, people taking the position of, of, of, of opposing this Qatar is actually sort of handy because in, in, in many ways we've seen that, you know, you can complain about things and you can make a lot of noise and you can, you can point out all of the terrible things that have happened and the tournament's going to go ahead. Um,

the football will be good. And the people who have, you know, essentially organised it or defended the organisers was all going, ah, see, the football was still good though, wasn't it? Which is not what it's about and has never been what the protest is about. But they actively conflate it on purpose and they succeed. Deliberately. That's the whole reason that they use football for this because the product, we will always watch the product. So I think...

from that, we can determine that the only thing that will work will be a boycott. The only thing that will make a difference is if you can affect what actually happens on the pitch. Now, I think it's going to be very, very difficult to get a lot of confederations and a lot of players, should it come to that, to agree to not partake in a World Cup. Personally, I

I could sit one out. I love the World Cup as much as anyone does. Football is our livelihoods and our passion. You will struggle to find people who love it as much as we do. But given, you know, the seriousness of this, I would respect England so much if they refused to take part. There have been a few FAs that have

that have made noises about boycotting it, the Norwegian FA. I think the Danish FA were quite vocal ahead of Qatar. As usual, you cast one's eyes to Scandinavia for the sensible stuff, doesn't it? Absolutely. So I think actually getting it coordinated and getting enough federations to pull out of it would be really difficult because also a lot of them might not agree. A lot of them...

might think, ah, you know, the world's complicated, life is complicated, it's just football, keep politics out of it, etc, etc, etc, which is what the organisers want people to say. And you have to acknowledge that some people do say that and do go along with it. And every government is compromised for money flowing in from that area and oil. It's going to be complicated, but I think, yeah, the only way to stop it or to have it hosted somewhere else is going to be to convince enough...

enough nations to not take part. And do we think that's possible? No, I don't think it is. I don't have a problem with anything you said. Broadly, I sympathise with it. I just think we... Weirdly enough, for the reasons you started off by saying around the Qatar thing, I think...

It's very, very unlikely that it doesn't go ahead. Mostly for the fact that people just don't care enough. They don't care enough. It's the success of the domestic product means that whenever international even Jipret comes up, we're like, oh, right, okay, fine, go through this. And then we don't think about international tournament until...

international tournament is here and then we're very excited but it just doesn't it's not conducive for a build up of negotiations the groundswell of yeah there's no way it's going to it's no way it's going to in my view be boycotted and I think the reason for that is Qatar and a reason that you haven't mentioned Jim it's just that

we knew the problems with Qatar, but we also knew the process was totally corrupt. Yeah. And it still didn't stop it. It still happened. And I think that what that gave really FIFA was, I know it's a different, slightly different set of people, Blatter compared to Infantino and maybe one or two other different. When Blatter's the canary in the mine. Yeah, but what I'm saying is the Qatar thing almost gave them a green light. So look,

the way they behaved in Saudi Arabia was even more egregious. It was basically in plain sight. And the way that Saudi Arabia conduct themselves is, in my view, objectively worse than Qatar. But it's still more of the same thing. And nothing happened before. So nothing's going to happen now. The reason nothing's going to happen now is because it's very easy...

Not very easy. It's easier for us to say, we'll sit this one out. I think you get on very shaky moral ground where you say to players, top players, everything you've worked for, you know, this is the apotheosis of what you may achieve as a player. You need to miss that. That's why I think it being so far away is potentially a good thing on that front because you've got a lot of time to convince these players of that. But...

you know, I think it'd be very, very difficult to actually do it. Me and Luke were both on talk of the terrace on ESPN with the new match, match of the day presenter, Kelly Kate's back in the day. And we were talking about awarding the World Cup to Qatar. And we were like, we,

we're saying the same things we're literally saying now. Oh, absolutely. It's tedious, isn't it? And they probably rely on that as well, people getting bored of it. I mean, maybe the country will just reform and stop doing loads of horrible shit all the time. That's an easier way out, isn't it? The same way the players aren't going to be that involved is the same way, like, you know,

you know, look at all the people who work for BP or BAE Systems or whoever you decide you think is morally objectionable. People still do it because people, you know, people do stuff. People do stuff. People need jobs. People want to achieve the best they can. And actually, it's not the player's fault. Like,

But the thing is, you're asking them to take responsibility for something that isn't really their fault. Now, they're probably part of it, but it's not their fault. And we've also, like, browbeaten footballers into never really expressing anything slightly political. You know, look at how we dealt with players like, you know, Marcus Rashford and stuff. And that wasn't even a political thing. It was just putting food in kids' bellies, you know. To be fair, I hammered Jordan Henderson. There was a point where the England team kept being accused of being Marxists. Right?

The debate becomes ridiculous very quickly, doesn't it? Jack Grealish is not a Marxist. No, great. If you take one thing from this episode, you're a new listener, you take one thing from this episode, please take that from me. He drinks like some of the Soviet era leaders, I tell you what. Good God. Right, we've got one from Reggie on email with the newly revamped FIFA Club World Cup set to start in 2025. If you could bring back one disbanded or defunct footballer

or competition which would it be and how do you think it would thrive today? Cup Winners Cup obviously accepted. Although the Cup Winners Cup just became unmanageable didn't it? Do you think it would be more manageable now? Why do you think it was unmanageable? Well I think because generally

more teams get into Europe through the league positions now. So generally the Cup, the winner of the Cup has qualified for Europe through some other means. It just became untenable. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's a real shame. I think a Cup competitions in Europe should mean more Cup competitions in Europe. I think there should be another way of getting there. I would definitely bring, I mean, obviously you can't bring anything back because there's no room to do anything now. Somewhere we can unify all these ideas. Yeah. I think the Cup wins Cup would be great. I would do like a...

Whoever wins the country's Premier Cup competition, because of course we've got a few in this country, but obviously for us it would be the FA Cup. Whoever wins the equivalent of the FA Cup in all those countries, they send a team through to the Cup, win this Cup. It's totally unseeded. It's a straight knockout.

And you go from there. A straight knockout would be amazing, wouldn't it? That would be really good. The precursor to the UEFA Cup, which is obviously now the Europa League, is an interesting one as well. It's called the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup. Fairs Cup, yeah, I remember it. Well, I don't remember it, but I know what it is. Newcastle fans do. Arsenal won it in 1970. Easy. In a two-legged final against Anderlecht, which would have been ridiculous even then, I'm sure. But the entrants were the major football team of each city which held a trade fair.

Nice. That's good stuff. Ludicrous way to... Big fan of that. Is that why it's called the Fairs Cup then? I didn't know that. Yeah, it must be actually, thinking about the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup. So that makes a lot of sense. So because there could only be one entrant per city, in 1955 to 1958, there was a combined London 11. And because this...

this tournament is so ridiculous that that was one competition between 1955 and 1958. It took three years to complete for some reason. But I do kind of...

I like the idea of teams made up of players from one city's club. Manchester, London and Liverpool would be really, really interesting in that regard. At the moment, it would just be Liverpool, wouldn't it? It would. And wouldn't that be funny? Dominic Calvert, wouldn't that be funny? An unused sub. They'd let Daishi manage, surely. They'd have to. Glasgow would be interesting to stay on that theme. Yeah.

Not according to Pete. No. You've already brought Glasgow together, haven't you, with your range of Celtic combined shirt you wore that time? Correct, correct. You've already solved all those problems. For me, it's a cup wins cup. But I think, you know, really, we should be talking about less football of a higher quality if we're going to make any changes at all. But the problem with that is that you end up losing...

actual competitions that everyone's got affinity with is fond of and has like memories of you know so it becomes tricky I mean the fact that the cup when this cup isn't talked about now is because it was abolished like 25 years ago like 1999 when it last was played I think the last final was at Villa Park actually yeah I think did Chelsea win the last one no I think it was Sampdoria I want to say I could be wrong on that though let me double check Lazio it was Lazio it was Lazio

So there's just no room for it, is there? But for me, a straight knockout, unseeded, this cut would be fantastic. But instead of doing, on the fares thing, instead of you doing European fares trophy, people have done world fares. Yeah, but Pete, do you know what it would be? The equivalent now would be like,

it'd be influencers, wouldn't it? It'd be like, where are the top 10 influencers from? It would be that kind of shit. The next big one is Riyadh in 2030, isn't it? But look at that big, it's like 2034. Look at that big, um, is it? Oh, the expo. Sorry, mate. I thought it was about football. That's my fault. But look at the, look at the new football competition. A load of influencers have got on board a load of footballers and broadcasters to talk about. Right. Um, it's,

absolutely baffling I've missed this to be honest what's this about I've watched about half the video I was like I don't understand the rules anymore it's called the ballers league yeah and it's a load of retired ex-pros isn't it and the sidemen KSI and the sidemen John Terry's involved nothing else to do and it's essentially it starts in March runs through May it's an indoor football tournament with 12 teams and then there's like a playoff thing at the end but it's like it's a combination of like players

or I think it's a combination of players who've been released from academies, futsal players, retired pros, possibly influencers as well. It's all been streamed on YouTube. And the rules are just absolutely insane. So during the final three minutes of each half...

they're going to do things like long range goals count as double and goalkeepers are not allowed to use their hands for three minutes. I kind of think that there'll be a set of players who can't administer the game as discussed beforehand. Yeah. Never mind these. Watch the video and watch

how Gary Lineker reads his script. Well, we've seen Gary Lineker talk about our particular art form, podcasts, and he didn't look particularly into it, let's say. So it's probably worth sort of watching just for that, really, just watching a man really chow down on some money. LAUGHTER

I'd watch Gary Lineker eating money. Just for the record, I would have taken the money if they'd asked me. Right, yeah, nice. Oh, definitely. I'd chow down on that. There's still a bit of money. I would wrap a crisp in some money and eat that. Prawn cocktail, please.

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Visit tln.ca to learn more. It's time for some more of this, the mailbag. From Dan on Blue Sky, before everyone brings up that graphic of Boxing Day football 100 years ago, what is your favourite festive football memory? For me, it has to be Hartlepool United, any Boxing Day fixture.

Wesley nightclub to finish the day where did you go to finish the Wesley nightclub the Wesley nightclub an all Lutheran church that's at the bottom of the hill that's in the Hovis advert isn't it you sound the Wesley nightclub the Wesley nightclub an all Lutheran church Wesley well is that the local area or just a local man it's massive it looks like the Parthenon it's got these massive no it doesn't

I guarantee the Wesley nightclub in Hartlepool looks like the Parthenon. But aren't they normally called, provincial nightclubs are normally called things like Panacea. Yeah. Icon and stuff like that. You had your 42nd Street in your old stuff like that. Did you have Route 66? We had Route 66. We had 42nd Street and we had Fifth Avenue. So there we go. So this is on the UK Undiscovered Facebook page. I just found this on Google. I mean, it looks more like the Parthenon than a lot of things. I'm not going there. You just like to start to a fucking sore feel. Oh yeah, don't go in there now. It's burned down three times.

For reasons. Three times. Yeah, very flammable buildings in Hartlepool. Yeah. And a lot of primary real estate. So your boxing day routine would be down the pools. Yeah. Say bye to a nightclub. Then presumably you're going for some kind of food, then you go into the Wesley nightclub. It's perfect. I'd actually go home first, but I'd just get my glad rugs on. Were there a lot of beautiful nightclubs in Portsmouth? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fifth Avenue was there. Hmm.

That burned down, actually. The nightclub trade is very burny, very flammable. And all I'll say is a separate, full stop, next sentence. The big building was owned by, I think, a company that Harry Redknapp was involved in. Is that the one that looked like the Acropolis?

No, no, no. You're getting mixed up. It looks like Machu Picchu. We had Route 66, which was down... These were all in South Sea, really. We had a really big one on Guildhall Walk. I can't remember what it's called now. Let's go to the airport. But Europa. That was called Europa. We had a club Europa. That was what the Indian night was. Or Freaks night, as you used to call it. Ours was called Freak as well. Freak. If you're really looking to push the boat out and you want to jump into a shared cab...

Southampton, Icon and Diva. Icon and Diva. Yeah, I love the doubles. Was the Gunwharf not there then? It was. That had Tiger Tiger. So Romford, a town near where I grew up, had like a ridiculously high concentration of nightclubs. I think there might have been some record in the country. There were a couple of doubles. There was Time and Envy, Vivid and Elite.

We had time and envy. We had time and envy, yeah. There was one called Liquid. There was Opium Lounge. There was Hollywood's, which was legendary for a little while, but I think it's flat now. There was Branigan's, McCluskey's. Bloody hell. Secrets. Secrets. That sounds adult. That sounds adult. That's got to be an exotic dancing bar, doesn't it? Secrets, the story about Secrets was that it was a man bought it

got it listed to increase its value then tried to have it demolished to have it turned into flats it's listed you can't do this you just listed it you silly man so my festive football memory no what's your favourite nightclub I've already told you my favourite festive memory is a misremembered memory yeah they always are though aren't they a little bit the season that Portsmouth got promoted to the Premier League it was 2002-2003 right

And I thought that on Boxing Day, Portsmouth beat Derby County 6-2 in front of a packed Fratton Park. Because that season, Pompey were selling out every week. Uh,

And I was like, oh yeah, I'm definitely going to talk about that. That'd be fun. I remember Yakubu getting a couple. Todorov, he was top scorer that season, scored a couple. It was brilliant. Paul Merson scored for us. Matty Taylor played and scored. It's an amazing Boxing Day. I looked back over the summary of the season on the Portsmouth website, and actually, Portsmouth played out a fairly drab one-all draw at home to Crystal Palace on Boxing Day that year. That's weird. And it was actually Derby County was at the start of February.

But I've conflated them in my mind. But you know, I think that's the worst thing about football is that you have these sort of legendary memories, but you can usually go back and watch those legendary memories and you're like, that didn't happen. Yeah. I think something like 20% of memories are false. Right. And it also reminded me of the player I was probably most excited to sign for Portsmouth at that time. It was Mark Burchill. Do you remember him? No. So he played, he came through at Celtic.

He's basically almost exactly the same age as me. He came through at Pete Donaldson's Celtic. And Portsmouth got hold of him for like half a million or something because I guess he just couldn't make the grade at Celtic or whatever. And I have never been more convinced that a player is going to be an absolute world beater. He was capped by Scotland by that point.

He's got really quick, like nippy, almost like a Michael Owen type character. I might be going too far here again, guys, but it's Christmas, so forgive me. I think there might have been chat that he was like the Scottish Michael Owen at Celtic. Right, yeah, okay. Never really worked out for him. Caryna Portsmouth didn't really do much and suffered from the fact that Portsmouth then got promoted to the Premier League, couldn't really cut it.

But he did score a goal or two in that season. And that unlocked quite a nice memory for me as well. So my answer to Dan's question is Mark Burchill and his promise playing in the non-existent game on Boxing Day of 2002 against Derby County, which happened in February. Hope that helps. Nice. Yeah. And Tim Howard scored...

from his own box, for Everton against Bolton. On Boxing Day? 4th of January, but I'm going to count that. Yeah, that's fair. To me, the cut-off is the 1st of Jan. Well, I don't know. Maybe I'll just remember it happening on the 1st of January. If we can do that. It is Christmas, so yeah, Jim? Tom's been in touch on Et.

He says, if you could give one Premier League manager a gift for Christmas, what would it be and who would you give it to? Now, I think it's generally a quite lazy present to give somebody sort of like bath oils and candles and things like that. But I think if there's ever a man who needs it right now, it's Pep Guardiola. It might actually be quite a good gift for him. Are you bathing him yourself? Yeah, why not?

Because he's going to need some comforting, isn't he? Yeah, like a little bald baby. That's conjuring up an image. What are you wearing? He's obviously naked. I am wearing his clothes. So he knows what it's like to be managed. And he's screaming because the salt's getting his wounds. Are you shampooing his head or just soaking it? Yeah, because I want him to have the full experience. You know what? I'll get him a little wig and I'll shampoo that. That's very nice. I'd get Eddie Howe a big bit of driftwood that's like bigger than any bit of driftwood, like the size of a...

hull of a ship and I'd write down or carve into it loads of inspirational messages like love yourself first then others live your best life always love wins live loud laugh more find your joy embrace laughter love conquers all

Dream, believe, achieve, all that stuff really. And I think he'd love that. So that's a bit like the ship of Theseus, isn't it? That philosophical thing. Right. What do you mean? The idea is that the ship of Theseus, I think it's a metaphor. You keep replacing everything. Does it still remain the original ship? That's what it's reminding me of.

What, because I said the word ship? Well, you said driftwood. It's like an old ship. I don't think Eddie Howe... You know what? Laughter is a reset button for the soul, isn't it? I think Jason Tindall's the live, laugh, love guy. No, Jason Tindall is if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

Tindall's a bit bawdy. He says things like, I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. Yeah. No, Jason Tindall... That's in the list of live, laugh, love thing quotes. If you could sum Jason Tindall up as a phrase, it would be, my wife said it was me or the beer. I'm going to miss her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's... Speaking of which, Beer 52, Sean Dyche. Easy. I was going to say, Sean Dyche, big old punch in the face.

That's not a Christmas present. Let's finish with this one from Thomas on Instagram. He says, quite simply, do Yorkshire puddings belong on a Christmas dinner? They do this year because I bought some from Aunt Bessie's. Make them. I'm like, I don't have time. That is an insult to Jesus himself. Frozen fucking Yorkshire pudding. He's never bothered himself with batter. Jesus never had a pancake. Last year you did Christmas dinner and you got too drunk and couldn't do it.

Was it the year before? It might have been the year before that, yeah. Those days are over. What did the family eat that day? Probably blurring into one, right? What did the family eat that day? No, no, they all had great food. 200 quality streets. But I find roast dinners quite taxing. I love roast dinners. Getting everything. Well, you'd enjoy literally every Sunday in our house having the exact same roast dinner every time. I won't enjoy that.

Not if you're bringing up the frozen Yorkies, mate. My dad's promised a New Yorkshire pudding recipe for Christmas. Very nice. They clearly do belong on a Christmas dinner for you. I feel quite strongly that a Christmas dinner is essentially a super roast, isn't it? So it's a roast dinner with all the trimmings and a couple of guest stars, like stuffing or turkey itself. Sprouts. You might argue sprouts if you're into that sort of thing.

Pigs in blankets, all that. And also, it's Christmas Day. So I'm looking at you, Pete. If you want Tangfastics on your Christmas dinner, you can have it. You can have them, yeah. I get the principle and I think absolutely live and let live. Time for a piece of... Barely spray cream over everything, please. Peace and goodwill to all men and women. But I do think that it has to stop somewhere. I think if you go and catch up on the roast because it's Christmas, I think you've gone wrong. My dad loves daddy's sauce on his roast. Yeah.

That kind of works. It's more barbecue-y, I suppose, isn't it? That's better than ketchup or mayo. I had, you know those little pots of sort of delicious mayonnaise you get with KFC? I had a couple of them on my roast dinner last week and it was absolutely great stuff. Sorry, Jim, I've already heard this story so I'm not as disgusted as you. I didn't go as hard as a supercharger mayo but I went for the normal kind of like garlicky mayo. Oh, it was lovely. I love garlic mayo. It's probably my favourite condiment but I'm not putting it on the roast. Yeah, it's an interesting one on the roast. My mum's Christmas dinner is amazing. It is famously amazing and to back that up, I actually put a photo of it

on Twitter about 10 years ago when people were saying put your Christmas dinners on Twitter and I didn't get a single negative comment from anyone on Twitter on Twitter 10 years ago that's how good it is would I be happy if she brought in one of her great homemade Yorkshire puddings as well I think I would actually I am a traditionalist generally I think it's a roast beef thing

But I'm convinced by Jim's argument that it's almost like a Marvel Cinematic Universe of a roast. So it's like a Christmas special of a TV show, isn't it? It's the Avengers of roasts. Yeah. My mum will get, like, we have these things called mealy puddings. It's like a Scottish thing. Right. And we still get them from the... What is a mealy pudding? That is fantastically vague. Mmm.

It's like a oatmeal-based kind of stuffing, but it comes in like a... It's almost like a haggis, but oatmeal. Right, yeah. We still use the same Scottish butcher we've used ever since my nan was a kid. Wow. And my mum orders them down ahead of time. She does it properly. I bought a sausage meat, a little tube of sausage meat.

Yeah, we have sausage meat on our roast as well. Because that felt like the thing to do. Now, where do I put that? Is that inside the turkey? My mum just slices that and puts it next to the turkey. Right. So you've got stuffing on one side with the mealy pull-ins and you've got sausage meat on the other side. Oh, good. Oh, the turkey's flanked. Yeah. Why is black pudding not welcome on a day like that? It's a breakfast item. Yeah. Quite simply, it's a breakfast item. You have it with scallops all the time. I'm going to bring black pudding into the turkey generation. Does Luke eat black pudding and scallops all the time? Yeah, apparently so. Seems unlikely.

Jim, you know like when you get towards the end of the year at our age, you're like, I've had quite a busy year. I'm looking forward to a nice, relaxing, peaceful Christmas. I mean this with love, Peter, because even the way you're sitting right now is quite confrontational. But imagine knowing the chaos that awaits you at this big Christmas at Peter's.

at Pete's. I think... You wouldn't know what was happening at any point, would you? I do. Sarah will sometimes look at me and she can tell that I've got a plan and that's the worst thing for me to have. I think she prefers it when I'm unprepared. Yeah.

Yeah. Never mind. Thank you for listening to the Football Rumble Mailbag, part of the Akash Critton Network. Please do send us your responses, opinions and questions for Crying Out Loud for next week's episode, which will be our final Mailbag of the Year. Let's just put a pin in 2024 and move on to something better in 2025. All right, I'll do it then. You're going to do like a Jerry Springer type Christmas message on Monday.

though yeah like Jerry Springer crossed with the king I was going to get all my inspirational messages but I've closed the tab yes follow us on xblue sky tiktok and instagram at football ramble and subscribe on youtube or wherever you get your podcasts that was the mailbag it sounded like a war cry the football ramble is a stack production and part of the a-cast creator network

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