cover of episode There's a Better Way to Fulfill Your Needs

There's a Better Way to Fulfill Your Needs

2024/12/21
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Christine: 我妹妹对我的生活有负面影响,但我仍然觉得需要照顾她。我经常为她做一些事情,例如送去杂货,尽管她有时会对我变得很粗鲁。我很难与她保持距离,因为我有一种想要帮助她的冲动,但她也需要自救。 Dr. Laura 对此的回应是,如果有人对你的生活构成危险或具有破坏性,那么无论他们是谁,你都应该与他们保持距离。不要因为他们是你妹妹,或者其他任何理由而继续付出。这只会损害你自己的生活质量。你应该停止这种模式,这样你才能感觉更好。 Dr. Laura 进一步指出,Christine 可能沉迷于扮演照顾者的角色,这是一种神经质的行为模式。她建议 Christine 将这种关爱的特质用于更有价值的地方,例如志愿服务,而不是浪费在那些不值得的人身上。她鼓励 Christine 找到一种方法,在帮助他人的同时,也能提升自身的价值和幸福感。 Dr. Laura 认为,Christine 的自我价值感可能源于照顾他人,但她应该将这种关爱导向那些真正需要且能够欣赏她付出的人,例如孤儿院或养老院。她强调,如果 Christine 继续与妹妹相处,她将继续浪费自己的时间和精力,而不会获得任何积极的回报。 Dr. Laura 建议 Christine 应该学会拒绝那些不值得的人,并且要明白,操纵性的人需要被无限次地拒绝。她鼓励 Christine 认识到,将时间浪费在那些不尊重她的人身上是多么的浪费生命。 最后,Dr. Laura 总结道,如果 Christine 想要继续保持她照顾他人的特质,她应该将这种特质导向更有价值的地方,这样她才能获得成功和积极的回报。她应该避免将时间和精力浪费在那些不会给予她任何回报的人身上。 Dr. Laura: 如果有人对你具有危险性或破坏性,无论关系如何,都应该远离他们,不要继续付出。将你的关爱奉献给那些真正需要且能够欣赏的人,例如志愿服务机构。如果热衷于照顾他人,可以将这种特质用于更有价值的地方,而不是浪费在那些不值得的人身上。将你的关爱奉献给那些真正需要且能够欣赏你付出的人,例如孤儿院或养老院。将你的关爱用于更有价值的地方,这样才能让你自己也获得价值和快乐。如果你是那种取悦他人或照顾他人的类型,可以继续保持这种特质,但要将其导向更有价值的地方,才能获得积极的回报。应该避免将时间和精力浪费在那些不会给予她任何回报的人身上。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

What advice does Dr. Laura give to Christine about dealing with her younger sister?

Dr. Laura advises Christine to stop engaging with her younger sister if she is dangerous or destructive, as it robs Christine of her quality of life. She emphasizes that familial ties do not justify tolerating harmful behavior and suggests redirecting her caretaking tendencies toward more meaningful and appreciated efforts, such as volunteering with organizations that help children or the elderly.

Why does Dr. Laura suggest Christine redirect her caretaking tendencies?

Dr. Laura believes Christine’s caretaking tendencies are neurotic but can be valuable if directed toward people who genuinely need and appreciate help, such as those in orphanages, old age homes, or individuals with disabilities. This redirection ensures her efforts have a positive impact and are not wasted on unappreciative or destructive relationships.

What does Dr. Laura say about manipulative people and setting boundaries?

Dr. Laura states that manipulative people often require being told 'no' repeatedly, and they may act out when they don’t get their way. She highlights that spending time with such individuals is a waste of life and encourages setting firm boundaries to avoid being drained by their behavior.

What is the significance of Earth Breeze laundry sheets mentioned in the podcast?

Earth Breeze laundry sheets are highlighted as an alternative to traditional liquid detergents, as they dissolve instantly and leave no chemical residue on clothes. They are marketed as gentle on the skin, effective against stains, and convenient with home delivery and free shipping. Dr. Laura’s listeners are offered a 40% discount on subscriptions.

What initiative did Halion support for unpaid family caregivers?

Halion, the maker of brands like Advil and Centrum, supported three unpaid family caregivers with $10,000 each. The funds were used for purposes such as home renovations to accommodate loved ones and covering extra work shifts to ease family burdens, recognizing their dedication and labor of love.

Shownotes Transcript

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Millions of unpaid family caregivers look after their loved ones, a true labor of love. This season, Halion, maker of brands like Advil and Centrum, has supported three caregivers with $10,000 from renovating their homes to make their loved ones comfortable to taking on extra shifts at work so their family can rest easy. Each individual goes above and beyond in the way they care.

Hear the winner's stories now by visiting BeThereWithCare.com. Contest ended November 15th. Official rules at BeThereWithCare.com. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Christine, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Hi. Hi.

Hi. We're having a family discussion here on the radio, I think. Kind of spurred me to call. It's my younger sister, and I'm trying to figure out how you deal with or move on. I've been so busy that I haven't been intertwined with her, so that's a good thing. But it's that caretaking, probably, what do you call it?

trying to help her, but she has to help herself. She's eight years younger than I, and she chooses to live a certain way. And I drop everything, you know, drop off groceries, that kind of stuff. And it's just hard to tear yourself away. She gets abusive. Okay, ma'am, bottom line in life, I don't care if she's your sister, your mother, your kid, I really don't care. If anybody is dangerous or destructive, you eliminate them.

You know, you don't go, oh, she has her nice days and she is my sister and all that nonsense. Because all it does is rob you of quality of your life. So you've got to stop playing the game or you're never going to feel better. That's it. Dangerous or destructive. It's over. I don't care how she's related to you. It doesn't matter. Another part of it is like you don't want to be attached. It's kind of like a tether. I don't.

There's an attachment trying to fix or help. So that's on me to sort that. Well, good. Go volunteer at a place where they use horses and dogs to help people, kids who are handicapped or, you know, they don't come from total families. So go work someplace where you're doing something of value for people who appreciate it. Don't waste your time with this. This is just a silly waste of time.

That's true. If you're addicted to being the caretaker, which has its own neurotic qualities, don't change, but use it in a place where it has value, Christine. Right. It has no value with the people you've chosen to sprinkle it over. Yeah, it's true. It's true. It's a process to... I've just been busy. I haven't read any of the text messages. I just don't have the time, so...

I guess that's okay. That's part of moving on. No, it's part of making your life between now and dead a value. Okay. A value. Yeah.

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Hi, I'm Dalvet Quince. One way to help manage type 2 diabetes is to regularly exercise. My exercise program can help get you into a routine that works for you. Keep in mind, managing blood sugar also takes the right diet. Hi, I'm celebrity chef Franklin Becker. Ever since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I've adapted my cooking style without sacrificing flavor. If you want to learn more tips about diet and exercise, visit MyType2Transformation.com.

Millions of unpaid family caregivers look after their loved ones, a true labor of love. This season, Halion, maker of brands like Advil and Centrum, has supported three caregivers with $10,000 from renovating their homes to make their loved ones comfortable to taking on extra shifts at work so their family can rest easy. Each individual goes above and beyond in the way they care.

Hear the winner's stories now by visiting BeThereWithCare.com. Contest ended November 15th. Official rules at BeThereWithCare.com.

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I probably don't value myself. That's probably what it is. Well, no, that's not exactly right. You value yourself by being a slave to these difficult people. Well, I'd like you to value yourself while being a benevolent feature of somebody else's life. Go work at an orphanage. Go work in an old age home. Go work and read to people who, I don't know, are blind, whatever. Yeah.

So I don't mind you being a little neurotic about your whole identity comes from, you know, being the goody two-shoes in everybody else's life. Just direct it better. Yeah. Yep. It's like when you're telling someone no, you're only supposed to say it once.

No, that's not the way the world works. Manipulative people have to be told no an infinite number of times. Come on. Right. Absolutely. And then when they don't get their way, then they start acting out. Yes. But do you realize what a waste of life that is before you're dead, that you're spending time with people who do that?

So what I'm saying to you is I understand that your self-value comes from caretaking somebody else, but why don't you do it where it's needed? Okay. Please. Okay. Yeah. Got to get busy. Yes. So that I can enjoy myself. Go be valuable. You're not valuable with her. You're not valuable. Right. Okay. I'm glad we're talking. Me too.

Okay. Thank you. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Yeah. If you're one of those people pleaser types or caretaker types, however you were trained as a kid, I'm good with that. If you want to stay neurotic with that stuff, you can. Just direct it in a more useful manner. A, you'll be successful at something because when it's useful, it means it's having an impact that's positive. If you're kissing ass with people and you're not getting anything back, that's a losing bet. Okay?

So make yourself a value. Use the neurotic stuff in a positive way. I like that concept. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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