Dr. Laura advises Christine to stop engaging with her younger sister if she is dangerous or destructive, as it robs Christine of her quality of life. She emphasizes that familial ties do not justify tolerating harmful behavior and suggests redirecting her caretaking tendencies toward more meaningful and appreciated efforts, such as volunteering with organizations that help children or the elderly.
Dr. Laura believes Christine’s caretaking tendencies are neurotic but can be valuable if directed toward people who genuinely need and appreciate help, such as those in orphanages, old age homes, or individuals with disabilities. This redirection ensures her efforts have a positive impact and are not wasted on unappreciative or destructive relationships.
Dr. Laura states that manipulative people often require being told 'no' repeatedly, and they may act out when they don’t get their way. She highlights that spending time with such individuals is a waste of life and encourages setting firm boundaries to avoid being drained by their behavior.
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Hear the winner's stories now by visiting BeThereWithCare.com. Contest ended November 15th. Official rules at BeThereWithCare.com. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Christine, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Hi. Hi.
Hi. We're having a family discussion here on the radio, I think. Kind of spurred me to call. It's my younger sister, and I'm trying to figure out how you deal with or move on. I've been so busy that I haven't been intertwined with her, so that's a good thing. But it's that caretaking, probably, what do you call it?
trying to help her, but she has to help herself. She's eight years younger than I, and she chooses to live a certain way. And I drop everything, you know, drop off groceries, that kind of stuff. And it's just hard to tear yourself away. She gets abusive. Okay, ma'am, bottom line in life, I don't care if she's your sister, your mother, your kid, I really don't care. If anybody is dangerous or destructive, you eliminate them.
You know, you don't go, oh, she has her nice days and she is my sister and all that nonsense. Because all it does is rob you of quality of your life. So you've got to stop playing the game or you're never going to feel better. That's it. Dangerous or destructive. It's over. I don't care how she's related to you. It doesn't matter. Another part of it is like you don't want to be attached. It's kind of like a tether. I don't.
There's an attachment trying to fix or help. So that's on me to sort that. Well, good. Go volunteer at a place where they use horses and dogs to help people, kids who are handicapped or, you know, they don't come from total families. So go work someplace where you're doing something of value for people who appreciate it. Don't waste your time with this. This is just a silly waste of time.
That's true. If you're addicted to being the caretaker, which has its own neurotic qualities, don't change, but use it in a place where it has value, Christine. Right. It has no value with the people you've chosen to sprinkle it over. Yeah, it's true. It's true. It's a process to... I've just been busy. I haven't read any of the text messages. I just don't have the time, so...
I guess that's okay. That's part of moving on. No, it's part of making your life between now and dead a value. Okay. A value. Yeah.
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Millions of unpaid family caregivers look after their loved ones, a true labor of love. This season, Halion, maker of brands like Advil and Centrum, has supported three caregivers with $10,000 from renovating their homes to make their loved ones comfortable to taking on extra shifts at work so their family can rest easy. Each individual goes above and beyond in the way they care.
Hear the winner's stories now by visiting BeThereWithCare.com. Contest ended November 15th. Official rules at BeThereWithCare.com.
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I probably don't value myself. That's probably what it is. Well, no, that's not exactly right. You value yourself by being a slave to these difficult people. Well, I'd like you to value yourself while being a benevolent feature of somebody else's life. Go work at an orphanage. Go work in an old age home. Go work and read to people who, I don't know, are blind, whatever. Yeah.
So I don't mind you being a little neurotic about your whole identity comes from, you know, being the goody two-shoes in everybody else's life. Just direct it better. Yeah. Yep. It's like when you're telling someone no, you're only supposed to say it once.
No, that's not the way the world works. Manipulative people have to be told no an infinite number of times. Come on. Right. Absolutely. And then when they don't get their way, then they start acting out. Yes. But do you realize what a waste of life that is before you're dead, that you're spending time with people who do that?
So what I'm saying to you is I understand that your self-value comes from caretaking somebody else, but why don't you do it where it's needed? Okay. Please. Okay. Yeah. Got to get busy. Yes. So that I can enjoy myself. Go be valuable. You're not valuable with her. You're not valuable. Right. Okay. I'm glad we're talking. Me too.
Okay. Thank you. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Yeah. If you're one of those people pleaser types or caretaker types, however you were trained as a kid, I'm good with that. If you want to stay neurotic with that stuff, you can. Just direct it in a more useful manner. A, you'll be successful at something because when it's useful, it means it's having an impact that's positive. If you're kissing ass with people and you're not getting anything back, that's a losing bet. Okay?
So make yourself a value. Use the neurotic stuff in a positive way. I like that concept. My number, 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.
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