cover of episode Refresher: I’m In Trouble With My Stepson And His Wife

Refresher: I’m In Trouble With My Stepson And His Wife

2024/12/26
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Dr. Laura Call of the Day

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Marcia: 我与丈夫结婚十年,他的儿子和儿媳有两个孩子,之前儿媳工作在学校附近,孩子放学后可以自己回家。后来儿媳换了工作,孩子放学后由丈夫的前妻照顾。偶尔儿媳需要帮忙时,我会帮忙照顾孩子。最近学校停课,儿媳希望我和丈夫的前妻轮流照顾孩子,我拒绝了。我不希望承担全职照顾孩子的责任,因为我刚退休,想享受自己的生活。我向丈夫说明了情况,丈夫也表示理解并会与儿子沟通。但是儿子和儿媳并没有直接与丈夫沟通,反而感觉我们被排斥在孩子的生活之外。 我理解儿媳可能态度不好,但她确实提出了这个要求。现在我们感觉被惩罚了一样,被排除在孩子的生活之外,因为我做出了这个选择。 Dr. Laura: Marcia,问题不在于你的选择,而在于你与儿媳沟通的方式。你应该向儿媳道歉,即使她态度不好,为了家庭和谐,你需要放下身段。你应该主动去他们家,当着所有人的面道歉,承认你表达的方式可能让她误解了你的意思。你需要承认你的错误,并为你的表达方式道歉。 同时,我也想说,Marcia 的儿媳 Mary 应该自己照顾好自己的孩子,而不是把责任推卸给别人。她应该在工作和照顾孩子之间找到平衡,而不是为了自己的工作而牺牲孩子的正常生活和家庭关系。但是,这些话你不能直接告诉你的儿媳。你需要做的,是修复你和儿媳之间的关系。即使她态度不好,你也要道歉,这样才能让家庭关系恢复和谐。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Marsha's relationship with her stepson and his wife become strained?

Marsha's relationship with her stepson and his wife became strained because she expressed that she did not want to be a full-time babysitter for their children. This was conveyed in a manner that made it seem like an expectation rather than a request, leading to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

What was Marsha's initial stance on dating someone with young children?

Marsha was very clear that she did not want to have children or date anyone with young children. She specifically sought a partner with grown children, which is why she started dating her current husband, whose children were already in their 20s.

How did Marsha's husband respond to the babysitting request?

Marsha's husband understood her position and agreed to talk to their son about the situation. He even offered to take days off work occasionally to help with childcare, showing support for Marsha's decision.

What advice did Dr. Laura give to Marsha to resolve the family rift?

Dr. Laura advised Marsha to apologize for the way she conveyed the conversation with her stepson's wife, emphasizing that she should take responsibility for making it sound unpleasant. She suggested Marsha and her husband visit the family, apologize, and ask for forgiveness to restore family cohesion.

What was Dr. Laura's opinion on Mary's decision to work and rely on others for childcare?

Dr. Laura criticized Mary for prioritizing her job over her children's well-being, stating that Mary should take care of her own kids instead of relying on others. She believed Mary was inconveniencing her children and disrupting their routine for her own needs.

Shownotes Transcript

Marsha conveyed to her stepson and his wife that she didn’t want to be a babysitter to their kids and that’s caused a family rift.

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