Carol feels guilty because her brother, who was shaken by their father as a baby and has had mental health issues since, has alienated everyone in their family, including his own daughter. She believes she should be reaching out to him, despite his behavior.
Dr. Laura advises Carol to let go of her brother by minimizing or cutting off contact, as staying involved with him keeps her tied to unhealthy family dynamics. She suggests that Carol may need to completely disconnect for a while to fully heal and only check in occasionally to see if he has changed.
Carol's childhood was marked by her father's alcoholism and violence, which led her to spend her early years protecting her mother and brother. This background has deeply influenced her sense of responsibility and guilt, which she is now working to overcome through therapy and self-care.
Dr. Laura emphasizes that no one can be responsible for another person's happiness or well-being, especially in dysfunctional families where children are often made to feel accountable for adults' actions. She highlights that this misplaced responsibility leads to confusion and emotional distress.
Dr. Laura compares Carol's relationship with her brother to sticking a toe in a bathtub with a crocodile, implying that any interaction with him is dangerous and likely to result in emotional harm.
Carol has done a great job of turning her life around in every way except one...
Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com)
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