The Lube Episode
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Hi, it's Samantha Shea from Wirecutter, the product recommendation service from The New York Times. We all know those people who are simply impossible to shop for. At Wirecutter, we have a huge collection of gift guides to help you find the perfect present. We test everything we recommend, from an ice cream subscription to a back massager to a trio of succulents. We believe there's a perfect gift for everyone, and Wirecutter can help you find it. Check out all our gift guides at nytimes.com slash giftguides.

In this episode, we're going to speak plainly and directly about all manner of sexual things. If direct discussion about sex isn't your thing, or if you're with kids, you might want to skip this one for now. Once you clear the $30 mark, you're probably just paying for hype, unless it's like a gallon of lube. ♪

I'm Christine Cyr-Clessette. I'm Kyra Blackwell. I'm Rosie Garan, and you're listening to The Wirecutter Show. This one's called The Lube Episode.

Y'all, we have an interesting subject on our hands today. Yes, that's right. It's a super popular guide on our site, but one that covers a subject that many people don't really hear a lot about, and it's definitely not part of casual conversation for most people. We're going to be talking about personal lubricants. Lube, of course, is used during sex of all kinds to reduce friction and increase comfort. This is one of those things that people may be more comfortable Googling rather than asking their friends about. Or

Or, you know, their colleagues, like we're going to do today. For those of you who may have been listening for a while, you know we covered vibrators in a previous episode, and it was a big hit. Sexual health is important and topical. Surprise! Surprise! And our guest for the vibrator episode is actually our guest today, Wirecutter sex toy writer Bianca Alba.

A quick disclaimer, while Bianca is a sexual health educator, this is not medical advice. And we, of course, won't be covering everything there is to know about personal lubricants. And, you know, as ever, it won't be titillating, but it will be informative. That's right. We're going to be straight as an arrow here and cover this, just the facts. But we hope you'll leave today with a bit of guidance on how to shop for lube that you'll like. We'll be right back.

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Welcome back to The Wirecutter Show. Today, we're talking with Bianca Alba, Wirecutter's sex toy writer. Bianca is a non-binary sexual health educator with a master's in public health. This is the second time they've been on the show. In October, they spoke with us about vibrators, which was very informative. They've also written our guides to condoms and anal toys, among others.

For the lube guide, Bianca tested more than two dozen personal lubricants. Welcome back, Bianca. Thank you for having me. So personal lubricants, it's a huge category. It's a really personal category. I want to start by asking, who are lubricants for? I mean, really for everyone. So what a lubricant does is...

It both enhances pleasure, it enhances sensation, but it also protects the skin by helping things move smoothly. So for something like anal sex, you absolutely have to use lubricant because the body does not make its own lubrication in that regard. But even for solo sex or other types of partnered sex, it really helps to enhance the experience, making it more comfortable and pleasurable for both partners.

To that point, it sounds like what you're saying is also that there's just a huge swath of people using lubricant. And so this guide has to kind of thread a needle. We can't speak to every single instance. How would you say we cover lubes in general? Well, we say that, you know, we want something that's going to work for most people.

So we ended up selecting a water-based lube as our top pick, aloe cadabra, that is thick enough for anal play. It's maybe not our first choice for anal play, but it could work for that. It's pH balanced for vaginal sex. It can be used for masturbation. We tried to pick something that would work well for most people, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's the best choice for

For a specific use case, if that makes sense. Yeah, that totally makes sense. You know, I think that there's this real stigma around lubricants for certain groups. Specifically, I'm thinking for heterosexual women. Yes. It's almost like there's, you know, there's something wrong with you if you need a lube. Do you think as a sex educator, do you think that resonates with you? That's absolutely true. And as a result, a lot of women end up not asking for

to use lube during sex and experiencing discomfort or pain as a result. There's this sort of expectation that you should naturally be able to produce enough. But everyone has times where they're dry. Menopause and perimenopause can cause dryness. Pregnancy and hormonal shifts around pregnancy can cause dryness. Certain medications can cause dryness. And so there should be no shame around needing a little extra help. ♪♪

OK, so basically what I'm hearing is that tons of people, men, women, whoever, could be having more comfortable, pleasurable, more fun sex, basically, with lube. But there's no one best lube for everyone. And for a lot of people, there's a real stigma about buying and using lube. So if someone is feeling a little lost or hesitant about lube, let's walk through how to find the right one for them.

I would start with what are you going to be using this lube for? Is it going to be for vaginal sex, anal sex, solo masturbation? And then based on that, you know, are you going to be using silicone toys? Are you going to be using condoms? Based on that, then you can make a selection.

And if you have access to a sex toy shop in your town, I know not everyone does, often they'll sell little sample size versions of different lubes so that you can kind of pick and play. Or you can go online and different sex toy retailers will have like sample packs with a bunch of different lubes in them. So I think that's a good way to get started.

I like that. It's like when you go to a bar and they're like, do you want to buy a flight? And it's just a lube flight. That's good marketing. They should do flights of lube. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, this isn't like buying a sex toy. I mean, it's not like lubes are so expensive, right? I mean, you could buy some like full bottles and try them out too. Yeah, a lot of brands will have a one or two ounce mini travel size bottle that's going to be ballpark $10. That's not such a huge investment that if you buy it and you hate it, that you're screwed. So it's less of a risk to buy a small bottle of lube to try it out than it would be to buy a $100 sex toy.

I imagine some of the lube on the market is overpriced like anything else. What are the price points you should sort of be aiming for? Do you get more if you pay more?

I generally apply the same rules to buying lube that I do to buying a bottle of wine, which is that you don't want to spend less than $10 unless it's like a really tiny little bottle. But once you clear the $30 mark, you're probably just paying for hype unless it's like a gallon of lube. Swiss Navy does sell gallons of lube that are $200. But I mean, if we're talking like a standard bottle,

one to eight ounce bottle of lube, I would say between $10 to $30 is the sweet spot. And really, yeah,

15 to 20 is generally where I like to land. Bianca, there are tons of lubes out there. On Amazon, for example, you could search lube and like a thousand things will just pop up. So it seems a bit intimidating to try something and maybe you have an adverse reaction to it. Sure. Do you have any just overarching advice for somebody who might feel like all these choices are overwhelming? For

For sure. Again, we're going to need to circle back to what are you using the lube for? But the reason I did pick aloe cadabra as our main choice is because it's very hypoallergenic. The ingredients list is very simple and unlikely to trigger an allergy if you have issues with that sort of thing.

and it works well for pretty much anything. Like I said, it's maybe if I was going to recommend an anal lube, it's maybe not the number one thing I would recommend as an anal lube, but you could use it that way in a pinch. So this is why I'm recommending that one. What if you are allergic to product titles that have puns or are too cute? LAUGHTER

For instance, aloe cadabra. Sorry. Does it come with like a little white rabbit or something? Some people have complained about the artwork on the label, which is this woman in a white bikini diving in the ocean with a giant white scarf. No, it's not. Yes, it is. I don't know. You know, but it's a good product. You do, you boo.

Bianca, I think a lot of people out there are, you know, they might want to potentially avoid harmful chemicals or anything synthetic that they're putting on their body. And these folks might use something like coconut oil or other types of oils. What are the pros and cons of something like coconut oil? I mean, it is definitely more cost effective to consume.

buy a jug of coconut oil and just use that. I would recommend just think about hygiene. If you're going to be using a jar of coconut oil from the grocery store, you know, scoop a little bit out into a little bowl or something that you can dip into so that you're not just sticking your sexy fingers into the raw bottle of coconut oil. You really don't want to do that. Okay?

I will add one more thing, which is that the MDs, the doctors that I interviewed, the OBGYNs and urologists, people like that, the majority of them, when I said, what do you recommend for lube? A lot of them were like coconut oil. That was their go-to. And these are medical doctors. Are they hippie medical doctors? Because that seems like a hippie medical doctor thing to say. No, not actually. I mean, I'm from California. I don't think these were hippie doctors.

I wanted to ask, when you're testing lubes, do you take into account how the lube comes out of the container? Absolutely. Because, like, when I do sunscreen testing, it just really plays into, like, how much sunscreen I'm going to put on my face because it's, like, hard to get out the pump bottle versus a squeeze. Like, is that something that you...

you really think about when you're recommending lubes too. That was one of the things we considered. Some of the more like runny lubes, you had to be careful opening because they would just come squirting out, whereas some of the thicker ones might be harder to get out. We have squeeze bottles. We have pump bottles. There was all kinds of different types of bottles.

For example, Uber Lube, which is the silicone lube we recommend, is really nice because it's got this pump bottle that works very well and is very hygienic. So like bacteria can't get into it. It's like sealed so that nothing can get into it. You can't even remove the top. ♪

Okay, so what I'm hearing is that you really want to hone in on the type of sex that you're having to decide what kind of lube you want to get. And then depending on that, you might even want to get more than one type of lube. If you're feeling a little bit overwhelmed, it might be a safe bet to just go for the Alakadabra because that's the one that you would recommend for most people, right, Bianca? Yes. The one caveat I would give is if you're specifically looking for a lube for anal sex, I would start with silicone. Got it. Rather than the Alakadabra.

And then the last point around price was that if you're in like the 15 to 30 range and you get a two to four ounce bottle, that's like sweet spot. Yeah. And you can always just get, you know, a jar of coconut oil from the grocery store. As long as you're not allergic. Allergic. Or using condoms. Then that's a safe bet. And it's pretty effective and cheap. And doctor recommended. And not just woo woo hippie doctors either. Yeah.

After the break, Bianca will tell us why, when it comes to lube, you're going to want to know a little bit about chemistry. Be right back. ♪

Welcome back to The Wirecutter Show. This episode, we're talking all about personal lubricants with Bianca Alba. Okay, so in your guide on our site, Bianca, you list four main types of lube, water-based, silicone-based, hybrid, and oil-based. Can you tell us a little bit about each of these and then maybe tell us about the pros and cons too? Can we start with water-based?

Sure. So water-based lubricants are versatile. You can use them vaginally, anally. You can use them with silicone toys and condoms without the materials degrading. And what are these made of, Bianca? Water-based lubes, the first ingredient ideally is going to be water or something like aloe vera juice, a water-based thing.

And then they'll generally have a thickener in them, which is something like xanthan gum or propylene glycol. And then they'll have preservatives, which is something like sodium benzoate or citric acid. And the thickener helps give the lube that slippery viscosity. And then the preservative keeps it from growing mold, which is very important for other bacteria. Because if it's water-based, it's prone to that kind of degradation. So those are the preservatives.

the pros of something that's water-based? Are there any cons? Absolutely. Water-based lubricants tend to have more ingredients. Like I said, they need to have preservatives in them. And some of those preservatives or other ingredients can be irritating to some folks. Like a lot of people have allergies to parabens, which is a common

preservative. If you do have a sensitive biome or sensitive tissues, you might want to stick to a product that has a shorter, more natural ingredient list. And by biome, we mean microbiome, those little bacteria and other organisms that live on and inside our bodies. Yes. And water-based lubricants, they can dry out or even become sticky, depending on the formula. You may need to reapply

If they're water-based, can you just add water? Yeah, that's actually something that sex educators recommend. Even having a spray bottle, adding a little bit of water can wake up water-based lubes and help them be more slippery. Okay, Bianca, what about silicone lubes?

So silicone lubes are generally made only from different types of silicone. Occasionally they'll have like maybe vitamin E in the mix, but it's pretty much pure silicone and silicone does not contain any water. So it stays slippery. They're really great for penile masturbation, anal sex, vaginal

vaginal dryness, anything where you want it to stay slick and slippery. And another great thing about silicone lubes is that they are compatible with most condoms in the same way that water-based lube is. And what about the cons? It can stain fabric and you can't use it with silicone toys because

And this is another controversial thing. Some people claim it doesn't damage their toys. Other people have had toys melt. But I prefer to listen to the opinions of the chemists who say that don't use silicone lubes with silicone toys. So what happens to the toy exactly? It gets like gummy if you pair them together? Apparently, like the molecules in the silicone lube can bond to the molecules in the silicone of the toy.

So you can have like tackiness, stickiness, gumminess, just degradation of the material of the toy, which you don't want. Yeah, that definitely sounds like something you want to avoid. Okay, so then there's this hybrid category, right? You've got a combo of water and silicone. Is that right? Yes. So it has a lot of the same qualities of a water-based lube, but it stays wetter longer because of the silicone components. Right.

And it's also, by and large, safe to use with silicone toys because the percentage of silicone in the formula is low enough that it doesn't do that type of damage. That kind of seems like it's got more pros than cons. Like, it seems like it's got, like, a lot of the good things that Waterbase has, but you avoid some of the bad things. Yeah, more or less. It's the medium porridge. Yeah. Yeah. No, I didn't...

So hybrid is always my personal favorite in terms of the lasting power. I've always been a big fan of hybrids. So then we have our final category, which is oil. What are the pros and cons of that?

So oil is the oldest personal lubricant known to humanity. There's documentation of the ancient Greeks using it in 350 BC. Wow. So people have been using oil-based lubricants for centuries now. What? Yeah, is it like, did they find that out on like a shard of a pot or something? Something like that. I was doing research and yeah, there's like actual written documentation of people using

olive oil as lubricant, and some people still do these days. Now you know, Janet. The more you know, huh? Yeah, so the real advantage of using an oil-based lubricant is, like silicone, it doesn't dry out. You know, it can be nourishing for the skin. It's especially good for penile masturbation and anal sex, things where you don't want it to dry out or get sticky.

Some people find that using oil in the vagina upsets their biome. And the problem is if you are one of those people, once it's in there, it's kind of hard to clean it out because it's not water-based. It kind of sticks in there. But other people swear by it and use it. That's all they will use. So that's one thing.

The other big drawback is that oil is not compatible with latex or polyisoprene condoms. Polyisoprene is actually synthetic latex. Basically, oil will break down the molecules in latex and make a condom more likely to break. So if you are using condoms, oil is not recommended. And like silicone lubes, it can stain fabric. ♪

I want to talk about what people should know about the basic chemistry of personal lubricant because it seems like there's a real science behind it. So all I know, and this is in your guide, is that you need a lube with a certain pH. Why is that? This

This is true for water-based lubes. And basically, the vagina and the anus have different pHs. And with the vagina in particular, if you're using a lube that is not pH balanced, then you can end up with a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis.

They're not sexually transmitted diseases, but they are infections that can occur if your vaginal biome is off. So that's why having a pH balanced lubricant is important. Should I know what my pH is at all times? Is that a common thing that people know? I mean, because you're asking the question, I don't think it is.

A common thing that people know. The lubes that are intended for vaginal use will generally have a pH of about 4.5. Okay. And that is within a healthy range. And so if you see pH balanced on the lube bottle, that's generally what it will mean. However, the anus actually has a much higher pH. So lower pH means more acidic. Higher pH is neutral or basic. So...

the pH of the anus and the rectum is more neutral. It's about seven. So you might actually want to have a different lubricant if you're having both vaginal and anal sex because these are two different pH environments. Interesting. And is pH listed on lube bottles? Most lube bottles will not state the pH. They might say pH balanced. Sometimes if you go to the website, they will have the pH listed or you can email and ask. You

You can also buy pH strips very cheaply off of Amazon or wherever and test your lube at home if you want to get really nerdy with it. That's very Wirecutter-esque. Bianca, from your guide, I know that certain lubes should not be used if you're trying to conceive. Can you tell me why that is and what are the safe lubes if you are trying to conceive? If you're trying to conceive, you need a certain pH or certain environment to

in the vagina in order to like make sure that the sperm make it alive. So you're going to want to buy a lubricant. The one that's coming to mind immediately is Pre-Seed, but I know that there's a bunch of other ones as well that is specifically marketed for people who are trying to conceive.

I am also curious, you know, a lot of cosmetics have expiration dates. Is that the same with lubricants? Should you be getting rid of them after a certain amount of time? Water-based lubricants, at least aloe cadabra. I'm looking at my box here, which I got a few months ago, and its expiration date is May 20th, 2026. So I would say it's probably like a year and a half or two years. Silicone lube I don't think would expire yet.

oil-based, you know, it might go rancid or something like that, but you should be able to smell it and know that something's wrong.

So use it or lose it, people. Yeah. You told us this really shocking story about somebody had sent you a test sample of a lube and it was like moldy or something like that. Yeah, it was an oral sex lubricant that I picked up at a trade show many years ago. It was supposed to be honey flavored. And I had it in my cabinet for a few months and I opened it up and there was a wad of black mold in it. Golly. And I did message the company. I was like, hey, I

I don't know what's wrong with this, but just so you know. And that's why when people are like, oh, you don't want lube that has preservatives in it. No, you do want lube that has preservatives in it so you don't get a wad of black mold in it. Like that's what you have preservatives. Sodium benzoate, citric acid, and potassium sorbate are three preservatives that you'll commonly see in lubricants, which like maybe they sound scary, but they've been used...

commonly for a very long time and are safe. And my recommendation is if there's something on that label that you're nervous about to do your own research and not only read what bloggers say, but also look at what the FDA says, what cosmetic chemists say, because there is a lot of misinformation and scaremongering about ingredients and lube.

And just a little follow-up with, you know, if you're concerned about the chemicals in your lube irritating, like, you know, take a shower after you use it or like wipe it off. You don't necessarily want to leave it on your skin. This is not moisturizer. Exactly. Exactly. Okay. I just want to recap. Essentially, what you have on offer for personal lubricants are water-based, silicon-based, hybrid, or oil. And you're really going to want to look for pH balance no matter what.

You might use something different vaginally versus anally and ingredients. Check them out online. Look at some of the ingredient lists. Make sure that you're comfortable with whatever they contain before you pick something up. And if it's water-based, select one that has water as the first ingredient. Water, water, water. Water, water, water. So before we wrap, we usually ask all of our guests the same question. What's the last thing you've bought that you've really loved?

So I make candles as a hobby and sell them on Etsy as my little side business.

And so I bought a vulva-shaped candle mold off of Amazon, which is honestly gorgeous and really cool. And I've been making vulva candles. This is amazing. This is really, I'm very on brand. While it's been too cold to go outside. Yeah, I'll send you a link to it. Please do. Extraordinary. Thank you, Bianca, for that and for everything. Love having you on the show. Love being here. Thank you.

Well, I feel like we learned a lot from that episode. Kyra, what did you take away? My takeaway is lubes are way more complicated than I ever give them credit for. But if you're feeling overwhelmed, I loved Bianca's advice that you could just reach for the aloe cadabra and be okay. It's probably going to work for you. And I love that it's simple and clear. I like that too.

that too. I think another takeaway I have from Bianca is that, you know, lube really is for everyone. You know, you might just need to try out some to see what you like and just kind of hone in on what kind of sex you're having. That's going to give you a really great indication of what kind of lube to get.

think that's great. I think building off that water-based lube, if you're going that route, you really want water or a water derivative to be the first ingredient. So that's like a real shorthand thing to look for. And then also whatever lube you choose, you want it to be pH balanced. That is very important. That's right. Good to know. Good to know.

And that's it for us. If you want to find out more about Bianca's coverage of sex toys, vibrators, or of course, personal lubricant, you can check that out at nytimes.com slash wire cutter, or you can find a link in the show notes to Alucadabra and other products we talked about today. Peace. Bye. Bye. Bye.

And here's what's coming up next week on The Wirecutter Show. How many mattresses have you tested at this point? Oh, my gosh. Well, I've lost count, but it has to be nearly 100 at this point. Make sure you're following the show on your favorite podcast app so you don't miss it. The Wirecutter Show is executive produced by me, Rosie Guerin, and produced by Abigail Keel. Engineering support from Maddie Mazziello and Nick Pittman.

Today's episode was mixed by Katherine Anderson. Original music by Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Alicia Baetube, and Diane Wong. Wirecutter's deputy publisher and interim general manager is Cliff Levy. Ben Fruman is Wirecutter's editor-in-chief. I'm Kyra Blackwell. I'm Christine Cyr-Claisset. And I'm Rosie Guerin. Thank you for listening. We're talking! Abigail is going to add the air horn in post.