最难开口的事情，英语有什么沟通策略？
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大家好,我是 Jenny,今天我们的节目要跟大家聊聊一些非常难开口的硬话,英语我们有什么样的一些沟通策略。对,我是 Jason,今天我们要聊聊一些不容易聊的东西,不仅是因为语言,也就是因为当中的情况。我们可以帮助你更好地通过这些情况。

对,it might be giving some negative feedback,做绩效考核的时候,是吧?Boss, leader 要跟下属可能有一些绩效不太好,或者朋友甚至情侣之间的一些,you know, tough situations.Yeah, I kept coming back to the idea of these being like a breakup conversation.You got to let someone down, you're breaking up with them, something like that, right?

Certainly difficult conversations 那我们今天的节目呢就是有九条建议虽然这些是 difficult conversations 但这都不是什么特别难的语言

对对 就是你的措词 对吧你选择用什么样的词啊 like how you choose to phrase it also 你的语气对 对 这就是你说话的声音是在这些情况下非常重要的你希望另一个人会觉得有些什么样的方式你希望他会更加紧张 更加友善 更加放松

对,如果你是开始这个 conversation 的人,if you're the initiator,你可能是比较占主动权的,就这个时候 you definitely don't want to sound aggressive or like you have the upper hand,

那今天的九条建议第一条非常的简单也非常的明显 but really criticalyeah for the first one here we have acknowledge the difficulty of the conversationyou're going to acknowledge to them that you see how this is a difficult conversation to have

对 不仅是对对方而言 对你来说也很不容易对 那具体可以怎么开头呢 可以怎么说呢

你可以说:我知道这可能会是一个难题,但我认为我们需要去解决它。或者是类似的,例如:我明白这可能会有挑战性,或者我承认这是一个难题的情况。是的,你可以直接说:我知道这会很艰难,我知道这次的谈话不容易。

对所以就是你要来 acknowledge 要承认对吧认可这个真的是很不容易好第二条建议也是非常重要的就是既然已经很不容易了就不要扯扯扯可能前面说了很多很 nice 的东西然后突然话锋一转是个 bad newsrightyeah even if you're getting bad newsyou don't want the other personto like dance around the subjectand avoid telling youdirectlywhat they're trying to sayrightso it's good to be directand clear

对,那可以怎么讲呢?对,所以就是很直接的说没有更好更婉转的方法但需要来聊这件事情,对吧?对,那是让他们知道这件事情很难对你而不是浪费时间你会告诉他们问题是什么,并且是直接的

对,and also you're not gonna like be misleading,因为如果说在职场这个 performance review 绩效的结果就是很不好,甚至你要优化那个同事还是 direct 比较好,不要讲他很多好的地方,然后突然说 oh sorry, we're gonna have to let you go,就很奇怪,对吧?

Yeah, not only is it not being directed, also it's going to get your hopes up.You think it's a great conversation and then suddenly it turns bad, right?That doesn't feel good.Yeah, misleading,像刚刚说的。好,那 with these kind of difficult situations and conversations, 你什么时候,什么地点说也很重要。Yeah, you're probably going to want to find a private place to talk to them, somewhere quiet, right, where you can have this conversation more easily.

Yeah, so you want to choose the right time and place if possible.这个你可以怎么讲呢?You could say something like,Hey, when you have a moment,I'd like to talk to you about something important.Can we find a quiet place?

对,其实我听到这句话的时候,我基本上就心里有一个感觉,有一个预感,即使不是那种特别不好的事情吧,it's something serious.Yeah, you can pretty much bet on it that if somebody is asking you to go talk privately in a quiet place like this, there might be a bad piece of news coming along.

当然也有例外说明是特别好的你 big promotion 啊什么的然后是吧这个也有 but most caseswhen you hear somethingwhen you have a momentI'd like to talk about something important 这个 important 我觉得它也是一个婉转的词 for like something negativeor something difficult to acceptyeah something serious at least right

对对是比较严重的那除了对的时刻时机或者你把主动权交给对方就说我能不能 But of course the idea iswe need to have this conversationbut you're still kind of asking themyou're asking for permissionYeah here we're just being polite rightIt's something you really got to talk to them aboutand you're going to have the conversationbut it's still nice to kind of ask themif they want to have the conversation too

So how would you ask?你不能直接问他 Would you like to have a difficult conversation with me?很奇怪有点太字面了啦好尴尬

对,would it be okay 好,接下来这一点我觉得 in any kind of situation and conversation 你要有同理心,对吧 always important, important advice in lifeyeah, this applies all the time, rightyou want to show your empathy and understanding

所以 empathy 就是同理心,然后它的形容词是 empathetic,so you want to be empathetic,那怎么样才能 show empathy 呢?You could say something like,I understand that this might be a difficult topic,and I appreciate your willingness to discuss it with me.

就你要 understanding 嘛所以你直接就是把那个 I understand 放在里面 So you're putting yourself in the other person's shoes

对,从他们的角度来着想,或者呢,也可以从你们两个共同的,like something you share or in common,从这个角度出发。

对,这种策略是与他们共同目标,展示他们,即使这是一个很难说的论点,你都与他们合作。

OK 但我觉得这个建议是 It doesn't apply if you are 比如说像那种 firing 对吧解雇优化或者说 You've made up your mindto end the relationship 你就要分手结束这段关系大概就也很少有 shared goal

我们不想把这个搞得大家非常 ugly 非常难看和难堪。

对 其实我觉得还有职场上面没有解雇但就是你要给他 negative feedback 就是他这个绩效可能不太好 对吧 So you can certainly have a shared goalof improving the performanceYeah exactly or a shared goalof having the conversation in a nice wayeven though it's difficult right 那 Jason 在职场上如果你要给比较 negative 的 feedback 然后你可以怎么 start with a shared goal

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是是好那我们接下来我们最后还有三条非常好的沟通建议给大家这一个就是很像前面说的 be direct and clear 那这个是坦诚对吧透明 yeah this is to be honest and transparentok 然后你可以直接跟对方说吗 I want to be honest with you

Yeah, whenever you say I want to be honest with you, it kind of has this feeling that you don't really want to tell them the truth, but you feel like you should, right?It's interesting.You say I want to be honest with you, so I'm going to tell you this hard truth.Oh, okay.你刚刚说的这个 I want to tell you this hard truth,你可以直接这样告诉对方吗?Yeah, but then it's probably clear to them that it's going to be something difficult for sure, but you could say that.

但总之我觉得就直接把这个 honest 用在你的 conversation starter 里面很好了就是说 I really want our conversation to be honest and transparent 就你都可以直接这样讲因为我觉得这听起来很 sincere 嘛很诚恳 Yeah you're showing them that you are welcome and opening to their questions you're going to be transparent throughout the conversation 透明的

对 我觉得这很重要 It's a two-way street 是吧就不是说我对你很 transparent 我把我所有的 negative feedback 都告诉你然后对方不能讲 It's you know let's have this conversation 对话要双方嘛 Exactly and that's just like our next strategy here right to ask for the other person's opinion

对,so not just you airing out, giving them a list of your feedback and concern,就是说你怎么看,对吧?那这个用英文可以怎么表达呢?You could say something like, how do you feel about our recent interactions?I'd like to hear your thoughts.

就是这个 how do you feel 你是什么想法我想听听你的意见对吧这个是特别好的在这种沟通里面你可以用的一句话

对,所以你在鼓励另一个人分享他们的看法,他们的看法与你相互共同,所以你在尝试与他们进行辩论。

一点没错好那我们今天最后的一条建议其实节目开始就说这个语气很重要然后另外一个 tone 很重要的就是你这个对话的基调是吧对

Yeah, so I think tone 其实它有几层意思嘛,一个就是说 the tone of your voice,你的语气,然后另外这个 a positive tone can also mean 这个对话的基调它是比较 positive 而且是 constructive,是有建设性的。

或者至少有个 next step 有个 progress 有进展

对,这个很好,你不仅是语气很好,然后你也很坦诚,而且你很有同理心,对吧,有 shared goal,所以他这个沟通的基调就是比较积极的。

Yeah, that's right. All of these strategies are about making sure, you know, the conversation doesn't just end, right? You're listening to them, getting their perspective, setting up opportunities for the future, putting a positive tone on it.

对,我记得我曾经大学的时候上一个沟通的 course,那个老师特别好,他讲了一个我到现在还记得,他就说,before you have any conversation,you should try to frame it,叫 frame,就是你要给它定个框架,不仅是我要讲这些事情,但是我希望我们能够达到什么样的一个结果,或者什么样的一个 next step,

我喜欢这个想法,因为如果你不这样做,你可能会在你的心里走到不同方向,所以描述聊天的方式给它一些详细。

对好那当然啊 You knowDifficult topicsDifficult conversations 我们这一集节目怎么够呢但是希望我们日积月累的这么多的节目是有帮助大家在不同的层面不同的角度都能够去提升自己的表达能力和表达的自信

And maybe 也可能你是专门做 HR 就是人力工作的你有很多切身的经验 Or maybe 你们公司的这个企业 You're in commscommunications 你也有很多你亲身第一手的好经历好建议要跟大家分享

好那我们今天的节目就到这谢谢大家的收听我们下次再见下次见