911. FUNNY ENGLISH SIGNS 🪧 Explained (Part 2)
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That's BetterHelpHELP.com. You're listening to Luke's English Podcast. For more information, visit TeacherLuke.co.uk. Hello, listeners. Welcome back to the podcast. So, let me tell you about this episode that you're about to listen to. I've decided to do another funny English signs episode because the last one was quite well-received. People seemed to enjoy it.

Got lots of comments from people saying that they were laughing out loud and that they enjoyed the combination of some funny stuff and some learning English. So let's do the second part of this episode because I've got another set of funny signs to talk to you about.

There's a PDF for this. You'll find the link for the PDF in the episode description, the show notes, wherever you are listening to this. Have a look in the episode show notes and there you will see a link for the PDF. You can just get it directly from there. You'll also find it on the page for this episode on my website. OK, so I'm going to start reading from that PDF in just a second. You'll see notes. You'll see the signs I'm talking about.

vocabulary list as well a nicely detailed vocab list which covers lots of the bits of vocabulary which I will be pointing out during this episode all right okay then so let's have a look at the PDF right now here we go

Welcome back. This is part two of this two-part episode in which I'm looking at some badly worded signs from around the world, including English-speaking countries.

These signs are written in either incorrect or ambiguous English, resulting in some unintended meanings which are actually very funny or strange. I should say that some of these signs have rude meanings and there'll probably be some rude jokes in here. Okay, so if you're listening with kids, be cautious. Some of the jokes here are NSFW, which means not safe for work and also not really appropriate for children. Okay?

So I have a big list of these funny signs in part one of this. Have you heard part one yet? In part one, which was the previous episode, I went through the first half of my list, which included funny signs like these. Found in a bar in Norway, ladies are requested not to have children in the bar, which should probably just be no children allowed.

Unless they really mean that, you know, they need women to stop giving birth to children in the bar. Which I would understand, you know, because that's not the appropriate place to give birth to children. But I think what they mean is no children allowed. This one in a hotel in Acapulco. The manager has personally passed all the water served here. If you're drinking the water and you read that, then...

Yes, you might end up spitting all the water out. So the manager has personally passed all the water here. That sounds like the manager has urinated all of the water personally. He took the time to personally urinate all of the water served. Yeah.

But no, to pass water, you see, can mean to urinate. But no, what this really means is that the manager has personally checked all the water served here. And don't worry, it's safe to drink. This one found in some hotel air conditioner instructions in Japan. Cools and heats. Spelled wrong. Should be cools and heats without E. Cooles and heates.

should be cools and heats if you want condition of warm air in your room please control yourself which should be you can control this air conditioner yourself using the thermostat or feel free to control the air conditioner yourself using the thermostat if you'd like um warm air or cool air in your room feel free to control the unit yourself using the thermostat something like that um

So you get the idea, right? So you get the idea, right? I'm going to continue going through my list of signs in the same way that I did in the first part. Also, here's a comment from a listener which arrived earlier today, actually, which arrived yesterday. Here's a comment from itsme4071. I laughed out loud by watching it. It's very funny. Thank you for sharing this so that I can learn by laughing.

And it's made continued. I remember one signboard which said this. Use less water. Use less water. But it was misspelled. Useless water. Use. So that's U-S-E-L-E-S-E.

Less, that's L-E-S-S, but those two words were joined together and it sounded like useless or it looked like useless water. Here's some useless water. Why we serve it, I don't know. It's completely useless. You can't drink it. You can't feed it to plants. It's just completely useless. I don't even know why we're offering it to you, but anyway, there you go. Don't use this water. It's useless. What...

Yes, use less water it should have been. Anyway, so in part two here, let's go through the rest of my list with about 20 more signs. Like in part one, I'll read out each sign one after the other.

See if you can understand what is funny about each one, okay? What they really mean and how they should be corrected. Then I'll go back and explain each one, pointing out why they're funny and offering my corrections. Hopefully, this will be a funny way to correct some written English and learn some vocabulary in the process. The PDF for this episode has all the signs, my notes and a detailed vocabulary list at the end.

I've put the signs in two sets, so let's start with the first set. Okay, here we go. Are you ready? Are you ready? You are ready? Good. Let's start. So this one, this first one, in a hotel brochure in Italy, it said this. This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude. Mm-hmm.

This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude. OK, I'll explain these in a moment. Next one. In a hotel bedroom in Japan. You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. Poor chambermaid. You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In a hotel lobby in Bucharest.

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable. The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable. In a supermarket in Hong Kong. For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service. For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service. In a hotel in Moscow opposite the Russian Orthodox Monastery.

It said this, you are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday. You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Now, if you're not sure what's funny about these, just hold on, because I'll be explaining them in a moment. This one was, it's not exactly a sign, this one. I think it's more a kind of headline from a newspaper article. But anyway, this one was found in a newspaper somewhere in East Africa. And it went like this. A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. They did what?

A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. Get in the swimming pool. Get in. It's not even finished. Get in there. In a hotel in Zurich. Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used.

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. Next, in a laundrette... A laundrette, right? A laundrette, a place where you have your clothes washed. In a laundrette in Rome...

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. And this one's my favourite one. An advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand. Would you like to ride on your own ass? Would you like to ride on your own ass? OK, so let me now go through.

that set of signs and explain and correct them. Okay, so this is where I'll explain everything and make my corrections. So that one in a hotel brochure in Italy. This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude. Mm-hmm. That's weird, isn't it? I thought the hotel...

So this hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude, means the hotel is well known, it's famous for its peace and solitude. Its peace meaning the fact that it's quiet and calm and peaceful. And for its solitude, the fact that it is probably isolated from the rest of the world or there aren't a lot of people around. You can come here to escape from other people.

Right. It's cut off from the rest of the world. This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude. So this is a contradiction in terms.

So crowds from all over the world, I think you understand that. Crowds meaning large groups of people flock here, meaning come here in large groups to flock somewhere. That means to go somewhere in a large group, like a flock of animals, like a flock of sheep or something. Right. So crowds flock here means large groups of people come in large groups here.

to enjoy its solitude. But how is it possible to enjoy solitude when there are literally crowds of people from all over the world flocking to the hotel

Yeah, that doesn't make sense, does it? So maybe a correction could be this. This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. Guests from all over the world come to experience its tranquil atmosphere. Something like that. You know, just remove the bit about the crowds flocking to enjoy the solitude because that makes no sense. So in terms of vocabulary, we've got to be renowned for something or renowned for doing something. It means famous, well-known.

Okay. Um, so for example, this hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude, right? Or, um, you know, London is renowned for its delicious food and wonderful weather. Um, yeah, I'm being, I'm being sarcastic there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Um, so yeah, this podcast is renowned for its useful explanations of vocabulary. Is it? I don't know. Um,

Yeah, the hotel is renowned for its excellent customer service. The hotel is renowned for its wonderful rooftop restaurant with wonderful views of the city. Okay? And crowds flock somewhere. As I said, to flock means to move in large groups. Normally, we think of a flock of animals, like a flock of sheep, a flock of birds, for example. That's a noun, but it can be a verb to move somewhere in a large group. Right? Right.

Birds flock here in the summer, right? A tranquil atmosphere or peaceful atmosphere, right? Calm, quiet, tranquil, peaceful. These are synonyms. And solitude is just the state of sort of being alone or being far from other people, right?

Okay, moving on. So the hotel bedroom in Japan, you are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid, the poor chambermaid. Now, I know what they mean. What they mean is that there must be some sort of chambermaid service, which will, you know, this chambermaid service, there's a chambermaid who can clean up your room or whatever. And you can take advantage of this service, meaning you can use the service, right?

that's available to you, right? Make the most of it. The thing is, to take advantage of the chambermaid, this has a double meaning, which is kind of rude and that doesn't sound like it's very nice for the chambermaid, I have to say. So to take advantage of someone, usually this means to make full use of something that's available to you.

Now that would be something, right? To take advantage of something is to make full use of something that's available. For example, to take advantage of the free Wi-Fi in the hotel. So I'm just going to take advantage of the free Wi-Fi and, you know, do some work on my laptop, right? So this service is available. I'm going to use it, right? Make full use of it. But when we use this phrase to take advantage of someone,

So when this is used about a person, it can mean, here we go, to sexually assault someone. To take advantage of someone can mean to essentially sexually assault them. Right. So you are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. You kind of think, what? Has the chambermaid agreed to this? What kind of hotel is this? Right.

So a correction could be: "You are invited to make use of the chambermaid services." Something like that. Or "Chambermaid services are available for your convenience." "Chambermaid services are available for your con... convenience." Something like that. I mean, it sort of still sounds a little bit dodgy.

Chamber maid services are available for your convenience. OK, what kind of chamber maid services do you have in mind? But it's certainly a lot better than you are invited to take advantage of the chamber maid, which, you know, sounds very dodgy indeed. In a hotel lobby in Bucharest, the lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable.

I like this one a lot. So the problem is the word unbearable. And actually, unbearable, if someone is unbearable, it means they are really annoying and so annoying or difficult that you can't bear them. You can't tolerate them, right? So, you know...

She is absolutely unbearable. It means that she's awful. She... I don't know, who...

Like the noise of the work that they're doing in the next room, so they're drilling and hammering, the noise is unbearable, meaning I cannot put up with it, I can't tolerate it, I can't bear it. I can't stay here and work because that noise is unbearable. If a person is unbearable, it means maybe they complain a lot or they're very unpleasant or they're incredibly annoying, etc.

So I just can't sit next to her. I just find her completely unbearable. In fact, I can't really even be in the same room as her. You know, I don't know how you work with her. I just find her unbearable, meaning incredibly annoying or something like that. Okay, so that's the problem here. During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable. Now, I've worked in a hotel. And to be honest, when something like this happens, when the lift is being fixed, it's

Sometimes the guests can be unbearable as they complain over and over again that the lift isn't working. But, so...

Yeah, using the word unbearable here sounds like the guests will be very annoying and intolerable, perhaps making complaints and stuff because the lift isn't working. Now, what they mean to say is that it will not be possible for the lift to bear or carry the guests up and down. So to bear someone can mean to lift them or carry them, right?

But if someone is unbearable, it doesn't mean that you won't be able to carry them up and down in the lift. It means the other thing that I just mentioned, which is that they become terribly annoying and can't be tolerated. Yeah, unbearable just means intolerable, impossible to tolerate, extremely annoying.

So the correction here is the lift is being repaired until tomorrow. We apologise for any inconvenience during this time. Or maybe something like the word inoperable or maybe the phrase out of order. So the lift is being repaired until tomorrow and will be inoperable or and will be out of order. We apologise for any inconvenience during this time. You know, you will you will have to use the stairs, something like that.

Okay, but unbearable means something else. Right, I've got a stupid joke here, which I thought of the other day. This is a stupid joke that involves, well, that place in Romania where this hotel was located. So here's the stupid joke. Where is the best place to reserve a short break in Romania? Where is the best place to reserve a short break in Romania? And the answer, Bucharest, Germany.

Yeah, get it? Bucharest, Bucharest, Bucharest. To reserve a short break, Bucharest. Okay, a little bonus joke there for you. You're welcome. So the next one was found in a supermarket in Hong Kong. And it said this, for your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service. Basically, just do it yourself. And you can be nice to yourself while you do it, because we won't be nice to you. Okay, so

Just basically just do it yourself. We recommend courteous, efficient self-service. Just do it yourself. Now, the correction here could be for your convenience, we recommend using our efficient self-service option. Right. Vocabulary here, courteous. Courteous means polite, respectful, considerate.

Now, if you say, for your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service, it seems to suggest that the other service option, which would be using their sales assistants or whatever, that they will not be courteous, they'll be rude, and they won't be efficient, they will be inefficient, and they'll take a long time to serve you. So, for your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service services.

So this one, in a hotel in Moscow opposite the Russian Orthodox monastery, you're welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday. Now what they mean to say is that you're welcome to visit the cemetery daily except Thursday. So you can visit every day except Thursday. But it sounds like

Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried there daily, right? They're buried daily except Thursday. How many famous composers, artists and writers die here every day and why? There's so many that they have to bury them every day except Thursday for some reason. Of course, this doesn't mean that. It means that the cemetery is open daily except Thursday and not that people are buried there daily.

So a correction could be this. You're welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried. Full stop. Open daily except Thursday. Right? The one in the newspaper. A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. So what? They threw most of their workers into the swimming pool while it was being constructed? The swimming pool is rapidly taking shape, meaning it's starting to...

come together. It's on the way to being finished. So it's taking shape. It's starting to look like a swimming pool. The construction is progressing. So it's rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. Now, what they mean when they say have thrown in the bulk of their workers, it means that they have got most of their workers involved in the construction of the swimming pool.

Right. To throw some workers in, meaning get them involved in the project, get them to work on the project. But it also sounds like they've thrown the workers into the swimming pool, doesn't it? Rather than throwing the workers into the project. Yeah. So a correction would be a new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors put the bulk of their staff to work on the project.

A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors put the bulk of their staff to work on the project. Not since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers into a swimming pool which is still being constructed. Which suggests it's like they're throwing most of their workers into the wet concrete project.

And this is how the swimming pool is progressing, you know, because luckily most of these workers have really sort of helped to solidify the structure of the swimming pool. And I think when it's finished, it's going to be really, really good and solid, even though we will lose most of our staff in the process. So to take shape, something is taking shape means it's starting to change.

It's getting closer to being finished. It's starting to look like the way it should look. For example, if you're building something, I don't know what you're building. What are you building? You're building a shed in the back garden, like a little wooden hut in the back garden that you could use to store your garden furniture or maybe a little place where you could go and work on your computer or something like that. So a shed, you're building a shed in the back garden. It's taking all day to build it. And at lunchtime, you come in

to the house and, you know, your wife or husband or whatever says, how's the shed? And you say, well, it's taking shape, meaning it's starting to, you know, it's being built. It's starting to look good. Contractors. Contractors are...

would be the organisation or the people that have been given a contract to do a job. Let's say the local town council wants to build a swimming pool here, they will get contractors to do it. So they'll sign a short-term temporary contract with this swimming pool making company and they're responsible for doing it. So

They can be called contractors, some organisation or people who are given a specific job to do and they sign a contract. You know, like a construction job or some other job could be described as contractors. Often in construction. And the bulk of something, the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. The bulk of something means most of that thing.

So the bulk of their workers, most of their workers, the majority of their workers, the bulk of, you know, what in our language school, the bulk of our students come from the European Union, you know, something like that.

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Ryan Reynolds here from Int Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down.

So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint Mobile Unlimited Premium Wireless. How did it get 30, 30, how did it get 30, how did it get 20, 20, 20, how did it get 20, 20, how did it get 15, 15, 15, 15, just 15 bucks a month? Sold! Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes in detail. Okay.

Alright, in a hotel in Zurich, because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it's suggested that the lobby be used. So, what kind of hotel is this? I don't think the lobby is the appropriate place for that, do you? Surely it's better if people entertain guests of the opposite sex in the privacy of their rooms. So, what's going on here?

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom. So the impropriety means the inappropriateness, the fact that it would not really be appropriate. So the hotel is saying it's not really appropriate for you to invite, let's say, you know, female guests in.

to your room in order to entertain them. So please don't entertain guests of the opposite sex in your bedroom. Don't invite them in and go to your bedroom to entertain them because that would be inappropriate. So instead, you should use the lobby. But it sounds like they are suggesting that

You could just maybe have sex with guests in the lobby, which would be in full view of everyone coming into the hotel. That's a very strange sign, isn't it? That's a strange sign. I suppose what they really mean is please don't bring guests into your room to entertain them there because we don't want...

having a lot of sex in the rooms because that would be inappropriate and it's not the kind of thing we want to encourage in our hotel. So instead, if you do entertain guests of the opposite sex, please do it in the lobby because we will know then that you won't have sex then. You can just entertain them and there will be no sex. So it's basically like, please don't have sex with guests in the hotel rooms because

If you want to entertain them, just bring them into the lobby where no doubt no sexual activities will take place. To be fair, it does sound like they are suggesting that if you are going to invite guests of the opposite sex to the hotel, that you just do it, do all your stuff in the lobby.

Because for some reason this would be better. But I don't think that would be better, would it? I mean, I don't know what kind of hotel it is. Here is a correction. To maintain proper decorum. So decorum meaning sort of appropriate behaviour and an atmosphere and behaviour that is appropriate and reasonable. That's decorum. To maintain decorum.

Meaning where people are well behaved, doing the right things, there's a certain level of peace and calmness. To maintain proper decorum, we kindly suggest meeting guests of the opposite sex in the lobby rather than in the bedroom. It still sounds dodgy to me. It still sounds dodgy. Dodgy means kind of like suspicious, weird, not quite right.

So, impropriety, this is inappropriate or improper behaviour. It's a tricky one to correct because the general message behind that sign is already quite suggestive and a bit weird. Next one, in a laundrette in Rome. I like this one. This is funny. Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Which makes it sound like they are saying, ladies, just strip naked and enjoy yourselves. Just take off your clothes and off you go. Have a great have a great time without your clothes on. Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time without your clothes on.

Right, so here's a correction. It could be this. Ladies, leave your laundry here and spend the afternoon having a good time. So specifying laundry rather than clothes would remove that suggestion that they are saying, take your clothes off and then go out naked having a great time. Leave your laundry here. Your laundry would be the clothes that need to be washed. And no doubt you've got your laundry in a bag or in a pile or something like that. So that

Doesn't you know, that doesn't suggest removing the clothes before you leave them here. Right. I don't know why this. Also, I don't know why this can't apply to men as well. You know, why is it? Why is it ladies leave your laundry here? Why can't it just be leave your laundry here? You know, guests are invited to leave their laundry here and spend the afternoon having a good time. I don't know why it's just ladies. But anyway, and this one, which is actually my favorite one.

out of the entire list, this advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand. A donkey is like a horse, but smaller than a horse. And often you find donkey rides in tourist places where children can ride on donkeys. Right? A donkey...

Yeah, it's like a horse, smaller than a horse. They are normally quite slow, quite strong animals, very stubborn animals. They go, ah, ah, ah, right? That's the noise a donkey makes. A donkey, I think you know. So the sign says, would you like to ride on your own ass? Would you like to ride on your own ass? Which I think sounds like a great insult and is my new favourite phrase ever.

Um, which is the sort of thing you could shout at someone from the window of your car if they have cut you up in traffic or something. You want to ride on your own ass? Or the sort of response you can give to someone who's just said something very stupid to you. Like, um, you know, you want to ride on your own ass, buddy? Um...

What's the problem here? It's the word ass, of course. An ass is actually a synonym of a donkey. So donkey, another word for a donkey is an ass, A double S. But of course, yes, the word ass in American English means your bum or bottom, not just your bum, anyone's bum. Um,

But, um, ass means donkey, but it also can mean bum or bottom. And it's kind of a, quite a rude word. It's not that rude, but it's, you know, rude enough. You know, it's used as, it's used in insults, isn't it? Um, you want to ride on your own ass? Get out of here. Um,

In British English, it's arse, by the way. So, an arse in American English, arse in British English, A-R-S-E. But arse does not mean donkey. But would you like to ride on your own arse? I mean, it makes sense. Would you like to ride on your own donkey? Would you like to have a donkey ride on your own donkey? Meaning maybe you can rent the donkey for the day and it's your donkey for the day and you can ride on your own donkey.

But would you like to ride on your own ass? An ass is a donkey. So this is advertising donkey rides. It could just be simply this. Would you like to ride on your own donkey? Just remove the word ass completely from the situation. But yeah, still, I just like that as an insult. You want to ride on your own ass? What are you talking about?

Okay, here comes set two of Funny English Signs, part two here. So this is the final round, the final set of signs that I have for you. Here we go. So this one was in a hotel bedroom in Moscow a few years ago, I think. So it's this. If this is your first visit to the USSR, you're welcome to it. LAUGHTER

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you're welcome to it. A dentist's advertisement in Hong Kong. Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. An airline in Copenhagen. We had this one in part one. We take your bags and send them in all directions. In an elevator. That's a lift. An elevator in American English. A lift in British English. In a lift in Paris.

Please leave your values at the front desk. Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens, visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. daily. Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. daily. In a dry cleaners in Bangkok...

A dry cleaners, it's a place where you go to have your clothes cleaned, right? A dry cleaners. Drop your trousers here for best results. Drop your trousers here for best results. In a tailor's, in roads, a tailor's is a place that makes clothes for you. Maybe making suits, right? For business suits or something, but a clothes maker. A tailor's in roads...

Order your summer suit because is big rush. We will execute customers in strict rotation. Order your summer suit because is big rush. We will execute customers in strict rotation. What? Don't do that. All right, then. So let's go through those signs then with the explanation. So the hotel bedroom, if this is your first visit to the USSR, you're welcome to it because we don't want it. You just you can just take it. Help yourself. You're welcome to it.

So the problem here is that you are welcome to it. We use this expression to mean you can have it if you want it. Okay. For example, I'm not using this. I don't know what it would be. I'm not using this chair, this office chair. I don't need it. So if you need an office chair, you're welcome to it. You can have it. Right.

So that's the problem there. So it sounds like they're saying if this is your first visit to the USSR, you're welcome to it because we don't want it. You can have it. So the correction could be if this is your first visit to the USSR, we warmly welcome you. USSR obviously doesn't exist anymore. So this is from a few years ago. Anyway, we warmly welcome you. So the phrase you're welcome to it, as I said, this means you can have it if you want it because we don't want it.

For example, I'm clearing out my garage. If you want any of these things, you're welcome to them. So if there's like some stuff on the pavement or some stuff in front of my house that I don't want, you know, if you want any of these things, you're welcome to them. How about this? Do you want this hammer? If you want this, you're welcome to it because I don't need it anymore. Right. A dentist's advertisement in Hong Kong. Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

Which is strange. Why are they asking newly converted Methodists to remove our teeth? So the problem here is the word Methodists. Methodists are people belonging to a kind of Christian church, the Christian Methodist church. So Methodists are Christians who are members of the Methodist church.

Which is a bit strange. Why is this like some sort of Christian tooth extraction service? That's a bit weird. So the correction is obviously the word Methodist should be methods. Teeth extracted using the latest methods.

right meaning they use the latest ways of extracting teeth these are tooth extraction methods the latest methods not newly converted methodists which would be strange like don't worry you're going to get your teeth removed but don't worry we've got some newly converted christians not just christians methodists as well you know god will certainly help them to remove your teeth

in the most efficient way. No, we mean the latest methods, right? The airline in Copenhagen, we take your bags and send them in all directions. We saw this before. I don't think they mean that they will throw your bags left, right, and up and down.

It probably means they'll send them to all destinations. But the thing is, we take your bags and send them in all directions. This is actually probably true because I've seen some baggage handlers at work and they literally were chucking the bags around in all directions. That wasn't in Copenhagen, by the way. I've got, you know, this sign has probably been removed. It was probably found a long time ago. Of course, I'm sure they don't do that in Copenhagen airport.

Anyway, correction: we collect your bags and send them to all destinations. The one in the lift in Paris: please leave your values at the front desk. Why would you have to leave your values at the front desk? So when you enter this hotel, you need to leave your values at the front desk because we are all nihilists in this hotel. We have no values here.

This is a very sordid hotel. Leave your values at the front desk and just enjoy yourselves. In fact, ladies, leave your clothes here and your values here and just spend the afternoon having a great time in our weird, creepy, sordid hotel where nobody has any values of any kind. So the problem here is obviously the word values. They mean valuables.

Your valuables, meaning, you know, valuable items like jewellery, you know, your laptop, computer, anything valuable. These are your valuables, right? For example, the room will be locked during the lunch break, so feel free to leave your valuables here. Or we have a safe, so you can leave your valuables in the safe if you want. Or in this case, please leave your valuables at the front desk.

Yes, but values, values are your deeply held personal beliefs or your principles that guide your behaviour. So the things we believe are important, our morals or our ethics.

So if you leave your values at the front desk, it's like you take all your moral principles and leave them at the front desk. And then you can just be free to act in the most immoral, unprincipled and unethical way that you want in this particular hotel, because this is a very special hotel for people with very special needs. Yeah.

So, yeah, and valuables means important items that are valuable, like your computer, your phone, your jewellery, and so on. So the correction would be, obviously, please leave your valuables at the front desk. Unless, of course, it is that kind of weird hotel where it's like, in this hotel, anything goes, literally anything. So make sure you leave your moral principles and values at the front desk, and then just leave.

Leave your clothes here too and just feel free to enjoy yourselves in any way you please. This one in a hotel in Athens. Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9am and 11am daily.

So this sounds like the hotel staff expect visitors to complain every day between 9 and 11, suggesting that the hotel is terrible, suggesting that there's maybe a queue of visitors between the hours of 9 and 11 every day just queuing up to complain. Right. Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. daily. Why those hours in particular?

What happens between 9 and 11 every day? Some kind of horrendous alarm or something? Maybe at 9 o'clock, there's a horrible alarm which goes on for two hours. And during that time, yeah, we expect the visitors to come and complain because they will be disturbed by a very annoying noise. Why? Um...

Nobody knows. It's just a very strange hotel. It's the most annoying hotel in the world. So I don't know what happens between 9 and 11. Some kind of horrendous alarm.

Wild dogs will be released into the hotel between the hours of 9 and 11, so visitors are expected to complain during that time. Or hideous music is played through the speakers for two hours every morning. The smell of farts is pumped through the air conditioning system of the hotel for two hours every day, and so visitors are expected to complain at the front desk during that time.

No, that's not what they mean. I think what they actually mean is that visitors are encouraged to address any complaints at the office between 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. daily. So not expected to or encouraged to or maybe advised to address any complaints or simply any complaints.

can be addressed to staff at the front, at the office, between 9am and 11am daily. Right? So that takes away the idea that the customers or guests are expected to complain. So we don't expect guests to complain. It's just that guests can complain during those hours. Right?

So any complaints can be addressed to staff at the office between 9am and 11am daily. Takes away the idea that we actually expect the visitors to complain. In a dry clean as in Bangkok. I love this one. Drop your trousers here for best results. You want to take a really great shit? This is the best spot for you. So just go for it.

Don't worry, we will clean up the mess. This is a dry cleaners. But if you really need a poo, this is the place for you. Drop your trousers here for best results. So to drop your trousers can mean to do a poo, right? To go to the toilet. It can mean that, but that's not what they mean. They mean drop off your trousers, meaning leave your trousers here and we will clean them really well.

So a correction could be, please drop off your trousers here for the best results or simply for best results. That's okay. Please drop off your trousers here or please leave your trousers here. Yeah, for best results. Okay. In a tailor's in roads, right? This place where they make suits, a suit.

Suit is what you would wear to work jacket trousers Nice black suit or a navy blue suit or a gray suit or something like that And you get your suit cut and made at a tailor's right? That's what a tailor's is order your summer suit fine because is big rush So this should be because there is a big rush We will execute customers in strict rotation What?

They're going to execute customers in strict rotation because they're too busy? Like, we've got too many customers. It's too busy. What should we do? Just, okay, line them up against the wall. We'll deal with this and we'll do it in strict rotation. You first, then you, then you. That's not how you deal with that situation. So that's not what they mean, of course.

Order your summer suit. Fine. Because there is a big rush, meaning because a lot of people are ordering their summer suits at this time. We will execute customers. That's the problem. We will deal with customers. We will deal with orders in strict rotation. So, yeah, to execute someone is to kill someone.

Now, you can execute something, meaning make it happen. This is what they mean. Maybe they could say we will execute orders in strict rotation, right? Orders for new suits will be executed, but still not. I don't like the word execute because it sounds too much like killing someone, right?

So, yeah, you can also execute an order or a command, meaning to make it happen. So maybe you can say execute customer orders, but certainly not execute customers, unless you're talking about lining the customers up against a wall and killing them, in which case this would be the correct expression to use. But hopefully that is not the case. In strict rotation means done in a strict order in a queue with one person after another in strict rotation, first, second, third and fourth and so on.

So the correction could be something like this. Order your summer suit now. Due to high demand, we will serve customers in the order received. Yes. Due to high demand, meaning because we have a lot of orders to deal with, we will serve customers, this is much more positive sounding, in the order received. First customer, second customer, third customer, and so on. Yes.

Okay, so that's it. That is my set of stupid English signs from around the world. Over to you. Have you ever seen any weird or funny signs written in English? And can you share them in the comments section? And generally, what did you think of this episode? What did you think? And which was your favourite sign? Which was your favourite sign? And...

Would you like to ride on your own ass? When could you say that to someone? I mean, you shouldn't, of course, because it's not a phrase that people use. It's not the phrase. It's not a phrase that people use. But maybe if someone sort of like tries to rip you off, like, OK, they wipe you, clean your windows and say, that's $20. $20? You want to ride on your own ass?

Yeah, I don't think it's going to take off. I don't think that people are going to start using that. But in my mind, yes.

Okay, so if you look at the PDF for this episode, which you can find linked in the description, there's a detailed breakdown for vocabulary items in this episode with definitions, example sentences, comments, memory prompts, discussion questions and mnemonic tips.

Little things to help you remember. The words and phrases are presented in alphabetical order. So, for example, number one is contractors. A contractor is a personal company that undertakes a contract to provide materials or labour to perform a service or a job. For example, making a swimming pool. Example sentence. The contractors completed the building renovations two weeks ahead of schedule, which never happens. Normally they...

There's normally a delay, isn't there? When you get contractors to do some building work. Contractors are often hired for specific projects with a deadline. A memory prompt. Have you or anyone, someone you know, ever hired a contractor? And how did it go? What was it that they were doing?

and discussion question, what qualities would you look for in a good contractor? You want contractors that have got good reviews. Maybe you've been told about them by word of mouth. Maybe a friend has recommended them and you're looking for honest, hardworking, efficient people, right? Who do the proper job. They don't cut corners, right?

To cut corners is to do things more quickly and more cheaply, but not doing it properly, like doing things perhaps in a way that's not completely safe. That's to cut corners. You know, if you get someone to fit a kitchen for you in your apartment, you want them to do it properly. You don't want them to cut corners, meaning you don't want them to maybe do things a bit too quickly and cheaply and maybe not safely enough.

A mnemonic for this, you could think of contract, which is an agreement, plus the OR suffix, a contractor, which is the one who does it. A contractor. And the list goes on. I'll let you check the list yourself in your own time. The second word is the word courteous. If you remember courteous, efficient, self-service. Courteous is an adjective. It means polite, respectful, considerate.

An example sentence, he was very courteous, holding the door open for the elderly woman. Courtesy is often shown in small, polite gestures. A memory prompt, when did you last encounter someone who was courteous and what was it they were doing? Did they hold a door open for you? Did they say please and thank you? How does courteous behaviour impact social interactions?

Well, it obviously makes things a bit nicer. It brings goodwill to your social interactions, a bit of common courtesy, right? Just saying please and thank you, being respectful and so on, being nice, kind and polite is the kind of...

It's the lubrication, social lubrication that can make things go well. You know, people are much more likely to treat you with respect if you treat them with respect and courtesy. Kurt, courtesy. Now, it's interesting because it's spelled C-O-U-R-T-E-O-U-S. That's courteous courtesy.

C-O-U-R-T. But the word starts with the word court, although it's pronounced curt, courteous. But it looks like court. So you could think court as in a formal setting where people behave with respect. Courteous, but actually pronounced courteous.

Little mnemonics like that can sometimes really help you remember words, but they have to work for you. So if thinking of a courtroom situation where people are polite and respectful, does that help you think of courteous, courteous? If it works for you, it'll work and you'll definitely remember the word. But little mnemonics, little shortcuts for remembering words can be useful, but you need to find ones that are memorable for you.

And the list goes on. I'll let you explore that in your own time. But otherwise, that's the end of this episode. Okay, everybody. All right, good. I'll be back with more episodes coming soon. Generally, I publish one a week, right? These days, for the last couple of years, I've been more or less keeping to that rhythm of an episode, a free episode every week.

with maybe a couple of exceptions, but it's more or less been a free episode every single week, then if you're a premium subscriber, you also get all those extra episodes too, which are roughly one series per month. I mean, my aim is that I give you a minimum two premium episodes a month

And normally it's more because normally I do about a series, a premium series every month and series are normally three or four episodes actually.

I'm currently working on Premium Series 65 at this moment in time, and that will be available for you soon. I'm also looking at what I'll be doing in terms of episodes throughout December and into January. And obviously it's the holiday period, the Christmas period. Yeah, the Christmas period has begun. And that means getting everything ready, shopping for presents, planning everything.

what we'll be doing at Christmas and there'll be some time off a week or two and I might take some time off from the podcast but I'll let you know I'm probably going to do a rambling episode in December in which I talk about you know stuff like this like what I'm going to be doing during Christmas and what you can expect from the podcast and things like that

But there might be a week. I might have a week off. It depends whether I'm able to keep making podcast episodes in that time. Maybe I'll take some time off during Christmas and I'll return in January. But we will see. But there is a new premium series coming soon. So if you're a premium subscriber, watch out for that arriving in the next couple of weeks. Don't forget, premium subscribers, you can always sign into your account at teacherluke.co.uk slash account.

And that's where you would add LEP Premium to a podcast app on your phone, which is definitely the recommended way to do it. Everyone else, if you're not subscribed to LEP Premium and you want all those other episodes where I...

always go into details about vocabulary, grammar, pronunciation. Sometimes I tell stories. Sometimes I have rambles, which I then break down for vocab teaching. So if you want all those other episodes, and this is not just like bonus content, this is stuff that I work on a lot. You can find out more information at teacherluke.co.uk slash premium info. Okay.

All right, good. I hope you enjoyed that episode. I hope that it was funny and that you had a good laugh and that you learned something. Let me know in the comments section and I will speak to you next time. But for now, it's just time to say goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to Luke's English Podcast. For more information, visit teachaluke.co.uk.

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