The core issue with perfectionism is the over-evaluation of self-worth based on performance, where individuals conflate their value as a person with their achievements. This leads to harsh self-criticism and a constant feeling of not being good enough.
Healthy perfectionism involves striving for excellence and setting high standards, which can be beneficial. Unhealthy perfectionism, however, is characterized by harsh self-criticism and over-evaluation, where one's self-worth is tied to flawless performance.
The current environment, influenced by capitalism, consumerism, social media, and advertising, creates a perfectionistic climate where individuals feel pressured to perform, achieve, and consume at ever-higher levels, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
Perfectionism can lead to burnout, depression, OCD, eating disorders, and physical ailments such as overuse injuries and gastrointestinal issues. The constant pressure to meet unrealistic standards can result in chronic stress and health problems.
Demand sensitivity is a heightened sensitivity to perceived requests or demands, where individuals turn voluntary actions into obligations. This can lead to overwhelm, procrastination, and rebellion against tasks, even those initially desired.
Individuals can shift from self-criticism to self-compassion by treating themselves with kindness, taking actions that care for their well-being, and giving themselves permission to make mistakes. This approach helps reduce the impact of harsh self-judgment.
Shifting from rigid rules to living by personal values allows individuals to act based on what is meaningful and important to them, rather than feeling coerced by external or self-imposed expectations. This fosters a sense of freedom and authenticity.
In high-pressure work environments, Dr. Hendriksen suggests adding warmth and connection to competence. Instead of solely focusing on avoiding mistakes, individuals can build trust and rapport with colleagues, which can reduce the stress associated with perfectionism.
Are you tired of never feeling good enough? In this insightful conversation, psychologist Ellen Hendriksen, author of How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists), shares strategies to escape the perfectionism trap.
Learn how to pursue excellence without harsh self-criticism, shift from rigid rules to living by your core values, and make room for imperfection - allowing you to live the life you truly want.
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